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Want to hear a funny joke? What did the goldfish say when he swam into a wall? He said, "Dam!" And speaking of which, do you know what many people have in common with goldfish? A short-term memory. There is a widespread belief that goldfish only have a 3-second memory. However, scientists have busted the three-second memory myth.
Nonetheless, that doesn't change the fact that quite a few people have a poor memory, perhaps not as bad as 3 seconds. Still, it would take a while to remember what they had for breakfast yesterday. And yes, we consider that pretty bad. Not trying to brag here, but we Pandas have a good memory. We had bamboo for breakfast yesterday. Well, and the day before that.
Quips aside, we are not here to boast about having a long-term memory. However, we've prepared a special post for all experiencing symptoms of aging early in their lives. You’d better take your B and C vitamins! And we can help you with the latter one. As you may already know, laughter is good for your health. It produces vitamin C, which, according to studies, has a positive effect on the brain. And the quickest and cheapest way to boost its intake is, you guessed it, cracking jokes! Everyone loves some good funny jokes. However, if you worry that your goldfish memory will fail you, we've prepared some short jokes that are easy to recall!
Even if your memory can hold more than just the lyrics of your favorite song, short funny jokes may come in handy more often than you think. Think of it as an elevator pitch - you have little time to convince someone that you are a natural-born comedian or fun to hang out with. So equipping yourself with some funny short jokes will do no harm. Other than that, they don't take up much space in your hard drive, aka the brain.
So prepare for some of our best short jokes that are teeny-weeny enough to fit in your back pocket! Do you know a short joke that has not made it to the list? Let us know! Also, check out these two-line jokes we've covered in our previous post.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago
And why can’t Swiss cheese be part of a fat-free diet? It’s made with hole milk.
RELATED:
#3
What did one hat say to the other?
You wait here. I’ll go on a head.
#4
The Pentagon was originally going to just be a square but the contractor kept cutting corners.
#5
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
Peter James 2 years ago
God bless Dr Chalopa for I was diagnosed of Herpes since 2012. I took my medications seriously but I wasn’t satisfied, I wanted it out of my system so i contacted a family doctor for help, he then introduced me to Dr chalopa. Then i decided to take a leap of faith. Now I’m so glad to say I am totally free from Herpes virus 🦠. You can as well contact the doctor for Diabetes and other STI infections via Email: drchalopa@gmail.com or via is website: https://drchalopa.weebly.com/ Thank you so much doctor chalopa.
#6
What is an astronaut’s favorite part on a computer?
The space bar.
#7
What’s Forest Gump’s password?
1Forest1.
#8
The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight. 21.
#9
Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things, literally.
#10
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
#11
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised.
Peter James 2 years ago
God bless Dr Chalopa for I was diagnosed of Herpes since 2012. I took my medications seriously but I wasn’t satisfied, I wanted it out of my system so i contacted a family doctor for help, he then introduced me to Dr chalopa. Then i decided to take a leap of faith. Now I’m so glad to say I am totally free from Herpes virus 🦠. You can as well contact the doctor for Diabetes and other STI infections via Email: drchalopa@gmail.com or via is website: https://drchalopa.weebly.com/ Thank you so much doctor chalopa.
#12
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Peter James 2 years ago
God bless Dr Chalopa for I was diagnosed of Herpes since 2012. I took my medications seriously but I wasn’t satisfied, I wanted it out of my system so i contacted a family doctor for help, he then introduced me to Dr chalopa. Then i decided to take a leap of faith. Now I’m so glad to say I am totally free from Herpes virus 🦠. You can as well contact the doctor for Diabetes and other STI infections via Email: drchalopa@gmail.com or via is website: https://drchalopa.weebly.com/ Thank you so much doctor chalopa.
#13
My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
#14
Rest in peace to boiling water. You will be mist.
Peter James 2 years ago
God bless Dr Chalopa for I was diagnosed of Herpes since 2012. I took my medications seriously but I wasn’t satisfied, I wanted it out of my system so i contacted a family doctor for help, he then introduced me to Dr chalopa. Then i decided to take a leap of faith. Now I’m so glad to say I am totally free from Herpes virus 🦠. You can as well contact the doctor for Diabetes and other STI infections via Email: drchalopa@gmail.com or via is website: https://drchalopa.weebly.com/ Thank you so much doctor chalopa.
#15
Can February march?
No, but April may.
#16
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4k?
"HDMI."
#17
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
Peter James 2 years ago
God bless Dr Chalopa for I was diagnosed of Herpes since 2012. I took my medications seriously but I wasn’t satisfied, I wanted it out of my system so i contacted a family doctor for help, he then introduced me to Dr chalopa. Then i decided to take a leap of faith. Now I’m so glad to say I am totally free from Herpes virus 🦠. You can as well contact the doctor for Diabetes and other STI infections via Email: drchalopa@gmail.com or via is website: https://drchalopa.weebly.com/ Thank you so much doctor chalopa.
#20
I have many jokes about rich kids — sadly none of them work.
#21
What did one math book say to the other?
“I’ve got so many problems.”
Logan Hannah 2 years ago
I really gotta appreciate the only herbal doctor that was able to cure me from herpes 1&2 virus after I got infected with that nasty disease, I'm happy that's a thing of the past now. contact Dr.Excel today he is also here in Colorado. email Excelherbalcure@gmail.com call and send message on WhatsApp +1 [204] 410-4511 his website https://excelherbalcure.com
#24
What did the ghost call his Mum and Dad?
His transparents.
#26
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine.
#27
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
#32
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
#37
A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and… Cola.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
#46
Want to hear a construction joke?
Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one.
#51
What do you call a couple of chimpanzees sharing an Amazon account? PRIME-mates.
#55
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
Thanks — I’ll never part with it!
#61
Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
#65
A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
#81
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”
#92
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it.
Kristine Wick 2 years ago
That reminds me… What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow that just gave birth? DeCALFinated.
#100
Why did the soccer player take so long to eat dinner?
Because he thought he couldn’t use his hands.
#107
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
#115
What’s the difference between a car and a fish?
You can tune a car but you can’t tuna fish.
#117
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
#119
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
#124
What’s the different between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
#170
God said to Moses, "Come forth and inherit the world!". But he came fifth and won a toaster.
#171
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
#175
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
#176
Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor?
It needed help figuring out its problems.
#178
Why is England the wettest country?
Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.
#195
Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his leg muscles so much as a kid?
He was a little Thor.
#197
The people of Saudi Arabia don't like the Flintstones but the people of Abu Dhabi do.
Chazz Allura 11 months ago
I want to share this great story to the world about how I was cured from HSV1&2 with herbal medication, I was nervous when I first contact this herbalist about the cure for HSV but I still decided to give him a try because I was desperate to get cured and be free from HSV. he prepared the herbal medication and sent it to me through Dhl delivery company which I use just the way he instructed me. I'm glad to be a beneficiary of this herbal cure! I went back to the hospital after waitin two to three weeks I tested Negative for the virus after all the symptoms had long gone! If you are going through the same situation you can contact him on his website https://excelherbalcure.com don't live all your life with such nasty viruses, it's not worth it.
#198
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
martha reigh 2 years ago
I had symptoms of genital herpes was appearing, I took the healing process by contacting herbalist excel for natural treatment it works wonders, amazingly ever since I had the herbal treatment I have not feel these horrible disease anymore and my doc told me the virus is gone, I am glad I finally got cured out from this horrible disease' every hsv patients should also get in touch with this herbalist Dr to get off these disease forever his web https://excelherbalcure.com and his number +1 (204) 410 4511
What do you think ?
Lara Clear 2 weeks ago
I thought the physicians said there is no cure for HSV 2!!! I am telling you today that DR. Oliver cured HSV 2 with herbal medicine and his cure is forever, it is never reversible, I have been suffering from this deadly disease called HSV 2 for more than 2years and lost all hope because my doctor says there is no cure for HSV 2. Brethren I saw a testimony on the internet on how DR. Oliver cured HSV, Hepatitis etc. with his herbal medication and an email and WhatsApp to contact him was also displayed, I thought this was a joke but I decided to contact him and he replied telling me not to worry that my problem is over . DR Oliver sent me a herbal medication to drink for one month but after only 2weeks I felt strange and I went to my doctor and he confirmed me negative. He can help you too. Contact him via Email: Droliverherbalcenter@gmail.com you can also go through his website, https://droliverherbalcent.wixsite.com/doctor-oliver or whatsApp WhatsApp +2348110493039. He is capable of cur
Johanna Ella 3 months ago
First, I want to complement this site administrator for creating this platform for us to express our feelings. Herpes is a serious and recurring disease which can't be cured through d***s or injections not even surgery by the American doctors surgeon but the best way to deal with herpes is by taking natural medicine from dr akhimien the greatest herbalist doctor in the world and is only few American doctors that know about this herbal medicine from him .. I have read about Akhimien who can cure herpes disease with his herbal medicine. you'll should contact him for his herbal medicine because I'm a living testimony and I was cured of herpes. I sent him my address which he requested and he sent me his medicine through DHL courier delivery which I took for days and today when I went for the test I was tested negative. you can reach him through his website https://drakhiniemodion.wixsite.com/drakhimien and WhatsApp number +2349133157031 read about him on his email drakhiniemodion@gmail.c
joel mercy 10 months ago
I have a boyfriend who at a time had a cold sore and we assumed that it was just a spot because we never got to know about herpes until now, We engaged in oral sex and that’s how I got herpes. I'm glad that I found Dr. Excel online who prepared me a herbal meds that I only drink for 14 days with faith that I will be cured, then I went for a check up and I was totally cured (herpes Negative). His herbal medication is safe with no side effects and there is no special diet when drinking the medication. you can contact him on his website: https://excelherbalcure.com
Lara Clear 2 weeks ago
I thought the physicians said there is no cure for HSV 2!!! I am telling you today that DR. Oliver cured HSV 2 with herbal medicine and his cure is forever, it is never reversible, I have been suffering from this deadly disease called HSV 2 for more than 2years and lost all hope because my doctor says there is no cure for HSV 2. Brethren I saw a testimony on the internet on how DR. Oliver cured HSV, Hepatitis etc. with his herbal medication and an email and WhatsApp to contact him was also displayed, I thought this was a joke but I decided to contact him and he replied telling me not to worry that my problem is over . DR Oliver sent me a herbal medication to drink for one month but after only 2weeks I felt strange and I went to my doctor and he confirmed me negative. He can help you too. Contact him via Email: Droliverherbalcenter@gmail.com you can also go through his website, https://droliverherbalcent.wixsite.com/doctor-oliver or whatsApp WhatsApp +2348110493039. He is capable of cur
Johanna Ella 3 months ago
First, I want to complement this site administrator for creating this platform for us to express our feelings. Herpes is a serious and recurring disease which can't be cured through d***s or injections not even surgery by the American doctors surgeon but the best way to deal with herpes is by taking natural medicine from dr akhimien the greatest herbalist doctor in the world and is only few American doctors that know about this herbal medicine from him .. I have read about Akhimien who can cure herpes disease with his herbal medicine. you'll should contact him for his herbal medicine because I'm a living testimony and I was cured of herpes. I sent him my address which he requested and he sent me his medicine through DHL courier delivery which I took for days and today when I went for the test I was tested negative. you can reach him through his website https://drakhiniemodion.wixsite.com/drakhimien and WhatsApp number +2349133157031 read about him on his email drakhiniemodion@gmail.c
joel mercy 10 months ago
I have a boyfriend who at a time had a cold sore and we assumed that it was just a spot because we never got to know about herpes until now, We engaged in oral sex and that’s how I got herpes. I'm glad that I found Dr. Excel online who prepared me a herbal meds that I only drink for 14 days with faith that I will be cured, then I went for a check up and I was totally cured (herpes Negative). His herbal medication is safe with no side effects and there is no special diet when drinking the medication. you can contact him on his website: https://excelherbalcure.com
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