I was 17 years old. I was taken to court for a paternity suit from my ex-girlfriend. She claimed I was the father of her child. Her and I were very sexually active using the withdrawal method for birth control. Ultimately, I plead no contest and started paying child support monthly. I supported the girl for 19 years with no visitation rights. Certain times were hard and the mother also took me to court to have the support payments increased by 300%. Again, I was ordered by the judge to pay the increase as my income increased. Fast forward to the the present day. The girl now with a daughter of her own messaged me and says, “I look at photos of your children and I don’t see any resemblance to me. I would like to pay to have a DNA test done. Would you agree to this?” I had nothing to lose so I agreed. We get the results back and it was determined I was NOT her father. Her and I went through so many emotions. Anger, relief, sadness and more. I have messaged the mother with no reply. I feel bad for the daughter as now she never knew her biological father and probably never will. I have no recourse to collect the support payments as there is no statute in Canada. I will just live with the fact I helped support a child that turned out good.

Jamie Keamo , Karolina Kaboompics / pexels Report

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Tor-Arne Hjellen

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You're a good person and an even better father for your daughter.

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Yes - I saw a picture of my birth mother for the very first time, after wondering for 35 years what she might have looked like!

I’m adopted, and my adoption happened “behind closed doors” back in the 80’s. There was no letter from my birth parents, pictures, or even a name. When I was 12, I started to get really curious what my background was (after doing a school assignment of making a pie chart of my ethnicity…and making it all up!), and always wanted to see a picture of my birth parents. I was not seeking a relationship with them or to meet them - only to know a little bit more and to have a picture in my mind.

My parents knew the doctor who arranged the adoption, so I wrote him a letter to find out whatever he knew or remembered. While he remembered some details, he didn’t know much and it didn’t satisfy my curiosity. However this was when the internet was in its infancy, so I just let sleeping dogs lie and moved on.

Fast forward 20 years later, 23andMe came out and I was first in line to do a DNA test to learn what my ethnicity was. As suspected, it came back and I learned I had mostly southern-Italian blood. I thought this was cool to know, closed the app, and never thought twice about it. But then, the real shock…

A few years later, I’m sitting around a table with a bunch of friends and one of them says “has anyone ever done 23andMe before? It’s so cool - you can see other relatives who have also taken the test!”. I never thought to use it for this info, so being curious I reopened the app for the first time in years and clicked the “relatives” section. Sure enough, I had a close cousin who was available to message.

I messaged her, and she was very confused. Based on what I said, and on my name (which doesn’t reflect my birth parents name), she essentially didn’t believe we were related. I convinced her to have a phone call, and on the call it all made sense to her - my birth mother kept her pregnancy with me a secret from the family. No one knew, and so when I told her what I knew about my birth mother, she realized that we were in fact related but no one knew my birth mother ever had another kid - me!

Long story short (I could go on forever, my birth and adoption were nothing short of a series of miracles) - my birth mother died when I was very young in an accident, however I learned her name for the first time. I resisted googling it, and slept on it. The next day, I’m sitting at work…I type her name into Google and hit images…and despite there being a ton of people that a popped up, I knew right away which one was my birth mother. She looked so much like me, and finally after 35 years of having a made up image in my head…I saw her. Such a surreal and amazing feeling!

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Happy_Pandalover

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Wow, so sad but also wholesome.

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A friend of mine was born using a sperm donor in the '80s. She had two wonderful mothers and a great extended family, but part of her always wondered about the biological father no one had ever known. When she was in her mid thirties she decided to do 23andMe to see if she could get whatever information she could about that side of her family.

She got the results back, found out her dad was most likely of western European descent, and, oh yeah, that she had 3 half-siblings. This was far beyond what she ever thought she would find. These must be the kids from her father's marriage! She sent them all messages hoping to meet this other family, and maybe even her bio dad.

Except none of them knew him either. Turns out they were all the product of the same sperm donor, and two of them had no idea until my friend had reached out to them that they weren't the biological children of both of their parents. Oops. There was, of course, some family drama left and right. When the dust cleared though, they all decided to band together and find their real dad.

And they did! Turns out in the ‘80s he had been a poor college kid making a little extra money donating to a sperm bank, and he still lived in the same area. Not only did they all meet him, but now he's dating one of their moms, who, again, is the mother of one of his children, though they didn't meet until over 30 years after the fact. Life is crazy.

Jason Warehouse , Andrea Piacquadio / pexels Report

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Libstak

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She has way way more than 3 half siblings, I would be very surprised if more than 1 in 1000 people ever did a DNA test so the odds of many siblings out there that have not done one are pretty high imo. Word of advice to ivf and adoptees, make any partner with similar issues take the test with you, these are very uncertain times.

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My oldest son has the same gray eyes, jet-black hair, and tall lean build that I do, with a complexion about halfway between my wife's and mine. Most people are incredulous when/if they find out that my oldest son was adopted by me via a Second Party Spousal Adoption; the sole posthumous child of my previously widowed wife’s first marriage.

My surprise was when my wife and I did DNA testing on ourselves and our children. Our family situation is rather interesting as it is in several senses blended (see below). I happen to be Metis (mixed Oglala Lakota Indian and White, with Tribal Recognition, at just over 60% Lakota) and my wife is White (German and Italian, with no known Indian heritage).

My wife and I are both 3rd Generation Alaska-born due to Bechtel Construction Company work there in the late 19th/early 20th century, and now live in TN. My wife was married and widowed with a sole posthumous son before I married her and adopted her son. The surprise was that my son's genetic profile showed results typical for someone with just a little over 25% American Indian ancestry, with about half of the same Indian marker genes as I have.

My son also has a few Inuit and Yupik genetic markers (to most Americans, this translates as “Eskimo,” not unreasonable), probably several generations ago via my son’s biological father. My wife's late first husband/my son’s biological father didn't have very much close family, but they were longtime Alaskans (even more so than us), with my son also having Nordic and Slavic marker genes; not unusual for someone whose bio-dad had a Russian surname and presumed ethnic Russian ancestry.

This was a real head-scratcher. We had a birth certificate for my wife's deceased first husband. The complete birth certificate, for him had his race listed as "white" which was puzzling. We obtained birth certificates for my wife's first husband's parents. This was done because DNA evidence was not admissible in this case.

My son’s biological father and biological paternal grandfather were listed as White (most likely, "could pass for White") and then came the big reveal; my son’s biological paternal grandmother was a full-blooded Oglala Lakota Indian from the same area of rural Alaska that my family settled via the Bechtel Construction Company.

I contacted the folks at my Tribe's central registry regarding records of my son's birth family-paternal grandmother, and met with some initial resistance that required use of family connections to circumvent.

It turns out that my son's birth family-paternal grandmother was a pureblood (100% Lakota) as recorded by the Tribal register and had also been cast out of the Tribe. She was the "black sheep" of the family for a number of reasons, and I found out that my adopted son and I are also related by blood (I am his grandmother’s third cousin, two generations removed).

Michael Callahan , Max Braun / flickr Report

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Jay Scales

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Good outcome - but sorting that out in my head made my brain hurt :D

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I have a good one. I had long had a suspicion that my father was not my biological father. We looked nothing alike, not that it bothered me, but he was a 5′4″ Egyptian man and I’m a 5′9″ very white woman. At some point, my sister’s MIL gave her an Ancestry DNA kit for her birthday. Sure enough, it came back with 0% anything related to Egyptian. Both our parents have been deceased for several decades so we couldn’t ask them. At that point, I figured I should just go ahead and take the DNA test myself. Sure enough, same with me. I told my sister than I had heard a rumor from my mother’s best friend that our parents had fertility problems. I had quietly assumed that we had been a product of a sperm donation for years. My sister and I appear to be half sisters. She’s three years younger than I am so it makes sense. Sperm donors usually don’t donate for years and they may have tried to get a donor with at least some darker features. She was somewhat more shocked.

Fast forward six weeks after my results came in and I get an alert from Ancestry, I have a match. I open up the email and the first line is something like - “John Smith (not real name) is your father”. I was ready to acknowledge that I was not biologically my father’s but, for some reason, it startled me that I would find my actual biological father. I didn’t contact him. I was in my forties at the time and I imagine when he donated sperm that many years ago anonymously, it never occurred to him I’d show up.

That being said, a couple weeks later, he contacted me. After a few back and forth messages, it turns out he was a sperm donor, a retired OB/Gyn (not my mother’s for the record) and was indeed my biological father. On top of that, I have three other half sisters, the youngest of which is three months older than I am. He likes to brag/joke that he had two women knocked up at once. Of course, there may be more of us out there.

I’ve met the family multiple times. They’re a very nice group of people and my biological father calls me his fourth daughter. I look a lot like my sisters. At 5′9″, I’m actually the shortest sister. My bio dad at his tallest was around 6′5″, I think.

As crazy as all of this sounds, it didn’t really cause any identity crisis. I was in my 40’s. I knew who I was at that point and who my “real” father was, the one who had raised me. On top of that, I had fertility issues myself (just age related) and had used donor egg and sperm for my daughter. I discovered all of this after my child was born. It would never occur to me that my daughter wasn’t my “real” daughter. I gave birth to that girl and raised her and I’ve been honest with her about all of it, in an age appropriate way, of course. My mother died when I was eight so my Egyptian father was a single parent raising two girls. I still feel half Egyptian. As far as I’m concerned, I just have more nice people in my life.

Laila Sharshar , RDNE Stock project / pexels Report

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Ace

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I'm so glad to see the comment about the "real" father.

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Yes, a good friend had quite a shock.

He, 70 years old, single, found out that he had a child. The mother was a high school girlfriend whom he impregnated and he never knew about the pregnancy or that she had given a child up for adoption.

He met his daughter 50 years later when she did a DNA test as had my friend’s brother. So she found her uncle that way and soon after her biological father.

My single friend became a great-grandfather overnight and is delighted to have this new family in his life. They are lovely.

Kathleen Collard , Mikhail Nilov / pexels Report

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ElfVibratorGlitter

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Aww, yay! Not just an instant family but a good one at that! 😄

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A month ago I looked at my Ancestry dot com account. Saw two messages from a woman who had a 50% dna match with me. I had surrendered my daughter in 1966 when I was 18 (and married, his rich parents consented to the marriage but said he would be sent back to Israel if we kept her). I was living with my alcoholic abusive mother, a wonderful stepfather, and a totally spoiled half - sister. I had suicidal thoughts almost daily, knew I wouldn’t survive if I didn’t get out.

Yes, she is my 58 year old daughter. We connected and talked. I gave her life but couldn’t raise her. Good thing, in hindsight. Her life would have been hell. She has now withdrawn, which is her understandable choice. I let her know I am here for her when she is ready.

Lady Anastasia aka Donna Jean , Anna Shvets / pexels Report

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Phoebe Bean

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Glad OP reconnected with her daughter.

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I wouldn’t call this shocking, but it was surprising.

My wife and I met in high school in the early 1960’s. Both of us are white, and at that time we both knew that we were at least 3rd generation Americans but we had no idea who our ancestors before our grandparents were. When I retired several years ago, I decided to do some genealogical research for both of us. I’m not a serious researcher, but I was able to trace each of our ancestries back to our great-great grandparents, and in some lines back to two or four generations prior to them.

In 2020, I decided to submit a DNA sample just to find out if there were any surprises. There weren’t any - my research was pretty much spot on. Same for my wife, with one very surprising exception: her DNA showed a trace of DNA from Senegal, a country in western Africa. My wife had ancestors who lived in Maryland, which was a slave state. I think that her African ancestor was a female slave sometime between 1780 and 1820.

I told my granddaughter (age 14 at the time) about this and she wanted to see the DNA test results and asked me to print them. I later found out that she took the printout to school and showed it to all of her friends.

When I was her age (around 1960) if a white person found out that they had an African ancestor, they would keep that a closely guarded secret. For my granddaughter’s cohort, it’s a status symbol. We are so much a better country today than we were then.

Bill McDade , Tima Miroshnichenko / pexels Report

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Hassel Davidhoff

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Brought tears to my tired, cynical eyes.

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I had a DNA test about 5 years ago, and it confirmed what little information that I already knew. I have almost no living relatives, except for my children. That is where the shocking part comes into play. All three of my kids had 23 and Me DNA tests done at the end of 2023. They are all in their 30s now. The tests showed that they are all only 1/2 siblings, each one has a different biological father (not me). My ex (their mom) passed away 10 years ago due to cancer, so the mystery of who their biological father is went to the grave with her. This definitely has been an adjustment to our family as we all felt betrayed. At 65 to find out you have no biological children was very shocking. To make it worse, I am the last male descendant in my family.

Mark Hudson , Pavel Danilyuk / pexels Report

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Happy_Pandalover

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2 months ago (edited)

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To the people, who said the wife may have gotten sperm donations. Usually sperm donators will have their sperm donated to a bigger number of "receivers". So it would be no surprise if the chilrden would have more "relatives" showing up. This doesn't seem to be the case. This man and his children (who obviously will stay his children) have every right to feel betrayed. Plus, all of them should have the right to know who their biological father is and how/why everything happened. This guy also has the full right to be shocked. His wife probably betrayed him with at least three different men. Even if it was some kind of „private“ sperm donation, why would she keep this a secret from him?

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I am a member of Tall Clubs International. A group for people above average height. (I stand 6’4” and am one of the shortest members I have met.

One of my friends is from a family of short(er) people.

He stands 7’2”. His parents were 5’3 & >5ft and his sister is 5’5”. He heard all the jokes about “mailman, milkman, etc

One year for Christmas his year younger sister got one of the ancestor DNA kits and they both did whatever you do with those.

Their parents had passed away several years earlier. The results came back and his sister and he have absolutely NO common factors in their DNA (completely different).

They asked around their other family members and an old cousin told them. “Oh Yes, your parents adopted both of you when you were just babies.”

In over 30 years, nobody ever told either one of them that vital bit of info.

Now both of them are searching for where they actually came from.

Wallace Rumbarger , RDNE Stock project / pexels Report

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ElfVibratorGlitter

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TIL: there's a club for tall people.

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Absolutely! Many years ago, one of my brothers was accidentally k****d. He was single and enjoying life, had a girlfriend. For years, my Mom lamented that she wished he would have had at least one child before he died so she would still have a part of him here.

Fast forward to a few years ago. We all did an Ancestry DNA test to see if we could find any relatives from my maternal grandmother’s side. She was a refugee from Germany, came to the US with an American family for safety during Hitler’s reign of terror. She never reconnected with any of her family again. A cousin and I had gone to Germany to research - the village that she grew up in had been completely annihilated during the war. We met with the Red Cross there, and many other officials. Nothing could be found as to what had happened to them. We know they existed, she had brought many pictures of her with her family from the time she was a baby, up to her teen years, holiday gatherings, birthdays, etc. So we were hoping to find someone, anyone that remained of her family.
A few months went by and my Mom got a notification that a close match had been found, a child or grandchild, and I got one that said niece or cousin. We were certain this was a mistake because we could account for every single person in our family.

To make a long story shorter, my brother’s girlfriend moved back to the east coast after he died. None of us thought nothing of it. She was grieving and wanted to be close to her Mom. But apparently, after a couple of months, she found that she was pregnant. (This was the very early 1980’s, OTC pregnancy tests were not a thing at that time.) By the time pregnancy was confirmed at three months (she apparently thought missed cycles were due to stress), she had lost all contact with our family on the west coast. This was also before cell phones. Also, she has been seeing another guy while she and my brother were dating. Anyway, we were able to get in touch with this mystery relative via Ancestry. When we met in person, I almost fainted - she was a female replica of my long dead brother, and she had two kids of her own, with the youngest looking like my brother’s twin. My Mom got her wish after all, a child of the child she lost. But we never did find any of my Grandma’s family.

Beth N Morris , RDNE Stock project / pexels Report

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Aroace tiger (she/they/he)

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"He was single and enjoying life, had a girlfriend."??

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Yes! Me! Growing up in the Southern United States, with blonde hair and blue eyes, my family and friends all claimed English heritage at 100%.

Imagine, when blood tests confirmed later in my life, after my parent’s deaths, that I had 2 forms of Hemophilia and other severe genetic anomalies only carried by Hebrews! Imagine, that these heavily genetically coded, very SPECIFIC subtypes are only carried by specific races from specific areas of countries.

Imagine the shock of physicians, remaining family members, and friends when they saw the DNA results! HEBREW-RUSSIAN, 82%, with only a small amount of High Royal British/Scottish Highlands!

Priceless.

Tracy W Brown , Aleksey Kuprikov / pexels Report

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roddy

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There is no such thing as "High Royal British DNA" all British ancestry stems ultimately from the same Norman-Saxon gene pool; it isn't categorized by job title and we all share it. I'm blood cousins to every member of the royal family, wives included. Like most people in the UK.

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I discovered 3 years ago that neither of the people that raised me were related to me, but they went to their graves believing I was their flesh and blood, my once black ringlets weren't Irish at all, my “interesting” nose wasn't the product of an accident I'd had as a small child, and my gut instinct that I was Jewish by heritage was actually correct. My entire life was in fact a lie.

My birth mother was, and still is, a horrible, horrible woman who finding herself pregnant in 1966, told another man I was his child, she abdicated her motherhood, and left me (and later another little girl) to be raised by this much older man and his elderly mother (who believed I was her grand daughter). I'll gloss over my childhood, but I was told my entire life that my nose was ugly and something to be embarrassed about, by the same elderly lady who I called Nana. Nana loved me, but she had outdated Victorian ideas about so-called beauty standards. She and other adults in my life found a lot of fault with my appearance in general, but I chose not to change it later as an adult. It was mine and part of me. Three years ago, it was my nose that helped convince me that the DNA tests were indeed correct. My “shameful” nose is a typical Persian Jewish nose, identical to my real father's - I am the female image of my birth father down to every detail. The nose, that nose is actually “the family nose”. I finally have my peace and am proud of how I look. No longer “shameful”. (Edited for clarity)

Photos of me in my early 20s, in the late 1980s with That Nose. The 3rd one is me now in my late 50s…

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Jay Scales

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It's a grand nose - ignore anyone who says otherwise!

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Way back in 1998 I worked as an operator for US Quest phone company. I got a call one night (blew my stats to hell) from a woman who was trying to locate an ob dr. Her daughter was like 3 I think and didn't look like her mom or her dad. The Father thought she had cheated on him and requested a dna test. Well the results came back that the child was neither of theirs!!! She had been switched at the hospital somehow! I searched every nook and cranny trying to find some information on this guy but couldn't find him at all. My supervisor listened in and once I was done pulled me aside and said she would put a note in my file that I had gone way above to help this woman and we went over everything I had tried to find the guy and said there was nothing else she could think of that I hadn't and to not feel that I had failed the woman. I felt so bad for her. All I could tell her was if it was me I would call an attorney and see what they can do.

Christy Villari , Hannah Barata / pexels Report

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Jay Scales

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Be good if there was an update on this one.... Even if they love their 'adopted' daughter, that couple will never settle until they know where their own bio daughter is...

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My Mum was 79 when a lady who grew up in the same small town as she made contact and started chatting with her. My Mum said, “I don’t know who this person is, but she seems to know me.” Eventually, this lady said to my mum that she was her half-sister. They organised a DNA test and there was shown to be “a high probability” that they were half-sisters. AncestryDNA has shown that I am related to my Mum’s new half-sister. So after 79 years, her whole ancestry has changed.

The story ended up being that my Mum’s father was unable to have children whilst her mother really wanted one, so the father of this other lady was allowed to produce a child with my Nan, that child being my mother. Apparently, the other family was aware of what had happened but kept it under wraps until my Mum was 79 years old when her half-sister decided to talk to Mum and see if she was a nice person. Having decided she was, she opened up to her regarding the situation.

Bruce Jackson , Brett Sayles / pexels Report

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TribbleThinking

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79 years, wow. Not a family to make snap judgements, then!

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A guy named “Jake* contacted me and said it seemed my father “Henry” was also his father and had lived next door to his family and was very close to them (very!).

Jake indeed showed up in the DNA results as my half-brother. I told him that, despite the genetic proof, he was not, in fact, my half brother. I explained that my father’s identical twin was named Henry and had lived next door to Jake while my father lived in a different state.

I warmly welcomed this man into my family. His wish was to know Henry’s children, my first cousins. I contacted the first cousin who I am closer with. My cousin denied everything and swore me to secrecy. I suggested it could have been my father and, anyway, this is a human who had no responsibility for his conception.

My cousin still refuses to meet Jake but came up with a theory that Henry had not cheated on their mom but rather could have worked for a doctor as a sperm donor (at the age of 55) when Jake was conceived.

As our fathers are both deceased I just said “I guess we will never know.”

In the mean time, my cousin's child took a DNA test and matched to Jake. It's hard to keep a secret these days and a human being is not a secret and has the right to know their roots.

UPDATE: My cousin's child contacted Jake and found out that Jake is part of our family. Looks like this secret is about to come out. If you have a DNA family secret please figure out how you want to frame it and tell you family before the truth comes out another way. Because it will.

Home Exchanger , Helena Lopes / pexels Report

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ElfVibratorGlitter

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Oh yeah...I forgot about identical twins/triplets. I guess this can get really complicated...

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Not a DNA test, exactly, but revealing nonetheless. While in college, I did leukocyte pheresis (donating white blood cells) at the Red Cross, and they have to cross-match the HLA type before they can be used. It was a two-needle setup, and when donating, you sit there doing nothing, and you get to chatting with the doctor and nurses. I once asked if the HLA types ran in population groups and the doctor told me yes, my HLA type was most commonly found in the Black population, and my cells were being used to treat a young black man who had leukemia.

I’m quite pale, and my parents’ people were bigots from The Deep South as far back as we know. You can connect those dots.

Dennis Rockwell , Anna Madera / pexels Report

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and_a_touch_of_the_’tism

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Oh, damn. That’s… not a fun thing to learn about your ancestors, even if you already knew they weren’t great people.

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Catlady6000

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This happened to my bigoted dad when he did an old school genealogical search. Many great grandpa married a "mulatto " in New Orleans in the late 1700s. He was upset. I was ROFL.

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P Peitsch

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What, that they were POS people by today's standards? Everyone's ancestors were the same. Mine and yours included. 3-4-5 and more generation back, what we call today racism, was a normal thing. But we evolved as a species, not just physically, but also with our concept of respect our own species, and that can't include racism in any form. OP's ancestors from 1800s were in their right by their values, Sure, their right nowadays are inacceptable. But we don't judge people living 200 years ago, because we would look like fools without comprehension of human history. It's another story, if OP's family is still acting like they are living in those days.

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viimatar

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2 months ago (edited)

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Non-consensual intercourse is still exactly that, no matter what century it was. In the historical context, it was considered fone, except that then it wasn't. There was this thing called a civil war, exactly because of that (as one of the reasons). Most of the other countries were pressing on the Americans to put a stop to chattel slavery, too. That it was practiced makes it not a bit less despicable, which also was already recognized at the time, by the contemporaries. The historical context doesn't still remove the ethical problems, and it isn't just a metter of "the modern sensibilities". Reading contemporary sources will reveal to you as much. Yes, the Great Khan (Chinggis Khan in other words) slew whole cities for giving resistance. It was in the past, but it's no less atrocious, not even in the historical scale. Otherwise, the historical context of the Shoah would be equally ok. Temporal distance does not justify abuse.

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zububonsai

zububonsai

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2 months ago

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Oh, s**t. 😳

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Not shocking, exactly. For 50 years, genealogy has been my dad’s hobby. When he followed his father’s line, he was unable to complete the male line because one of my great grandfathers was born out of wedlock. It was back in the 1800s and he had no way of discovering the child’s father as the mother spent years in the poorhouse and was likely illiterate. There were no wills or property records to tell us more about her and everyone who knew her was long dead.

DNA testing turned up some cousins several states away who are Black (we’re White). One cousin reached out to Dad trying to trace one of her male lines, which had the further complication of roots in slavery. This gave Dad a new lead and a mystery to solve. The cousin’s family lore said they were from Virginia, which is where my Dad is from. They theorized the link had to be one of our slaveholding ancestors but not quite sure which one.

A couple of years go by and Dad sees a new connection on Ancestry, this time White and from an unfamiliar family. Turns out the cousin Dad had corresponded with had these new connections as well.

Long story short, he was finally able to fully trace his father’s line. The illegitimate grandfather was fathered by a wealthy slaveowner who had also fathered children by at least one of his female slaves. The man also had a legitimate line as well. Bastard got around.

It has given Dad a new avenue to pursue and helped our cousins fill in some blanks in their line. Sad to think what both of these women went through in their lives.

Jane Voe , cottonbro studio / pexels Report

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Joe Reaves

Joe Reaves

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2 months ago

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Odds are the white woman was a servant and was raped. The 'moral character' of your servants reflected on your moral character back then and being pregnant out of wedlock (even through rape) would make the woman immoral. She'd have been fired (and that means homeless too since servants lived in their workplace) and no one would hire an unmarried pregnant woman, hence the poorhouse.

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As a child, I entered foster care. When I was younger, I had met some family members such as cousins and aunts/uncles. Many of them I don’t really remember because I was so young. My father was the oldest of 18 children so there were lots of aunts, uncles, cousins, and 2nd cousins, etc. There was a family legend of sorts that my grandmother was Cherokee and had been adopted as an infant. I explored genealogy a bit but didn’t really have any answers in that regard. I learned a lot about other family members and some ancestors but nothing in the way of there being Cherokee or my grandmother being adopted.

A few years ago, my mother-in-law told me about a project from National Geographic called the Genographic Project. This was much different than other DNA programs, such as Ancestry (dot) com. This was more of a project that explored migration and other factors. It wasn’t to see if you were related to another person.

Anyhow, after some encouragement, I got a kit and submitted my DNA. When I received the response, it showed how my lineage migrated and moved around for a millennia. One thing that shocked me was I came back as being 39% Native American. In the grand scheme of things, this is a relatively high percentage. Unfortunately, it doesn’t break down tribal affiliation and the results cannot be used to enroll in a tribe. For me, it was a bit more personal. Having been separated from my family at an early age, it confirmed some of the family legend and, for some reason, I felt a little “connected” for lack of a better term.

This isn’t and entertaining or interesting fact for others, but it wasn’t what I expected.

Taylor Pyles , Oak Ridge National Laboratory / flickr Report

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ElfVibratorGlitter

ElfVibratorGlitter

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2 months ago

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I had my daughter DNA tested because I stupidly was under the impression that I could get her tribal affiliation through that. It's her dad's side, that has pascataway-conoy heritage, but it's also not a federally recognized tribe, so that ended that. But she did have a large percentage of indigenous person in her DNA. I think that's why she's so beautiful (and also obviously because I'm her mom).

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Well, I always thought I was Italian because of my last name, but then I found out my dad was really adopted and never told me about it I think because of the family trauma he went through. I found out that my Fathers maternal grandfather escaped Germany and I have also found a second cousin once removed who tells me all sorts of crazy story’s from my fathers side of the family. I absolutely love looking at all the old documents from newspapers like marriage announcements or draft papers, and reading articles about my family makes me feel like I know them, or have a better understanding of who I am.

Angela Creaturo , Vlada Karpovich / pexels Report

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Yes, a close friend did one of those well-known ancestor DNA tests. And the result was shocking to say the least.

It showed that he had a half sister. But there was no way. His father had been married for decades and swore to him that he had never been unfaithful.

But my friend couldn’t let it rest. He went on a mission to figure out what’s going on. Was it a mistake by the DNA service? Was his dad lying? He had to find out. And so he tried to contact his supposed half-sister.

He found out that this woman was in her 40s and was living in Canada and he eventually emailed her. He was in his early 30s and lived on the East coast. Neither of them had ever heard of the other. But she was curious and so she agreed to talk to him over the phone.

As it turned out, my friend’s father had a brief relationship with a woman before he got married and she got pregnant but hid it from him. They broke up before there were any visual signs and she never told him and then moved to Canada.

Can you believe it? For over 40 years, he had no clue he had a daughter! And he’d still have no clue, if it wasn’t for the unlikely event that both his daughter and his son did a DNA test on the same service and opted to have their results compared to other people.

Just crazy.

By the way, my friend and his newly found half sister ended up meeting each other and now have regular contact.

Julian Reisinger , Tima Miroshnichenko / pexels Report

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ElfVibratorGlitter

ElfVibratorGlitter

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2 months ago (edited)

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I'm kinda torn when I hear these stories. I can totally understand why the pregnant mom would hide it from the father, especially if they aren't married and going their separate ways, so that they could move on with their lives so they don't feel tied to that woman/life. But... On the other hand...

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I did. I actually took two. I found out the man I have called my father for 49 years wasn't my biological father. My brother (his son) also had taken one and said we were not a match. My mother said he's my father and maybe my brother isn't his son. To which I replied have you seen him he looks just like my dad. She agreed. I am now very closely dna related to two men I'm assuming are my real father and brother that no one know who are. My father I've known my whole life passed away in 2015. He had a suspicion I wasn't his but never said anything and raised me as his own. His family still excepts me as their family despite not being biologically. After 49 years I don't need a father now honestly but I would love to meet my real father. I think that's one my mother just might take to her grave. Time will tell.

Christina Jersey Girl , Karolina Kaboompics / pexels Report

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Jay Scales

Jay Scales

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2 months ago

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Ugh - these mothers! Give your child the facts!!

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A friend of mine and her siblings took the DNA Ancestry test just for fun, and were shocked to learn their father had had an entire family before he married their mom and had them. Their parents had passed, so there was no one to ask “WTH?!”

They didn’t want to know what happened, but curiosity got the better of them. They hesitantly contacted the other family, who were indeed their half siblings (their mom was also deceased). My friend & siblings were, as a group, 10 years younger.

Turns out the father’s first family knew all about his second family, from when they were kids. They apparently accepted he had new family. Their mom and dad were still a couple, but they spent limited time together because the father stayed most with his new wife and growing family.

My friend said the newly discovered half siblings were excited to finally meet them. They had promised to keep their father’s secret and not contact the younger sibs; but when the youngers found them, they felt now they could reveal themselves.

I asked my friend if she thought her mom knew her dad had another family, and his “business trips” were visits to see them. She said that’s what she and full siblings struggled with the most. They think she wouldn’t have accepted the situation from the start, so she couldn’t have known.

But it still would have been a relief to ask her and know for sure.

Elizabeth Buehler-Miller , ANTONI SHKRABA production / pexels Report

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My daughter took a DNA test. We were told by her father that his father was British and his mother was Russian American. My parents were both in Czechoslovakia and traced several generations from the same area. Imagine her surprise when the DNA test said there was virtually no British DNA in her genetic makeup-0.2%. She has DNA from India, which the British did live in while they occupied the area. When she told this to her father, he was sure it was wrong because it was a cheap test. He paid for a more expensive test. She got back almost the same results-the majority of her DNA was Eastern European (from my parents and his mother) and bits from around the world. But she definitely had more DNA from Indian than Britain. It was very interesting.

Helena Humbridge , Mental Health America (MHA) / pexels Report

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Cee Cee

Cee Cee

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2 months ago

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Lots of employees of the East India Trading Company had Indian mistresses known as bibis. Some married their mistresses and those who didn't would generally provide financial support for any children and the mothers.

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I’ve had my DNA tested, mainly to try and work out who my dad’s birth father was as he was given up for adoption when he was aged 3. I worked out who the man was. I must be a bit of a shock to the great grandson of that man though as he does not really acknowledge that the connection is this close.

I was talking about DNA to my maternal cousin. She got an even bigger shock. Her younger sibling and her are labelled as ‘self or twin’. She was a bone marrow donor to her sibling. Apparently when salivary glands are damaged during cancer treatment, the bone marrow makes new stem cells to produce new salivary glands.

Teresa Gemellaro , Polina Tankilevitch / pexels Report

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and_a_touch_of_the_’tism

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism

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2 months ago

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That’s actually kinda cool. The human body is amazing.

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My mother-in-law’s family were told that her mother was adopted by a Christian family from an ‘Indian reservation’ in the 20s while driving through New Mexico. The family were told they were Navajo, and had a very proud cultural heritage. My husband had tattoos and decor in his house with Navajo art. Most of the family’s houses were decorated with Native American headdresses, drums, and pottery.

From the adopted mother’s many offspring, her grandchildren wanted to apply for scholarships but no adoption records or birth certificates could be found.

In hopes of finding those records, I gifted my husband’s family with Ancestry kits. I ended up connecting with my mother-in-law’s first cousin: her mother was the twin sister of his adopted grandmother. She let us know that the family wasn’t Native American at all! Her family was Hispanic of Spanish origin.

She told us at the time of adoption, her grandmother was newly single. She couldn’t afford to take care of her twin babies by herself. She acted kindly, letting one of them go to a white family in the mid-west to have a better life.

We had a massive reunion for them in New Mexico, and are great friends now. They’d always wondered what happened to the baby that was adopted so many years ago.

It was a bit confusing for those of the adopted baby’s descent that had gotten tattoos, decorated their houses, and had screen names like “IndianWoman2000” to find they were not Navajo or Pueblo at all. I was a bit of a pariah among many of them for stripping them of their cultural identity.

Gillian Spence , Kelian Pfleger / pexels Report

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Arthur W. Arre

Arthur W. Arre

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2 months ago

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Hispanics from the U.S. Southwest and Mexico are at least as Native as they are Spanish.

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I found out I had a half-sister who had been born in a small town in Switzerland!

I was born in San Francisco and adopted. My birth certificate has my father as unknown. So does my half-sister’s. Through genetic genealogy, we determined who he was. He was a grain dealer who worked for a subsidiary of Nestlé, which is based in Switzerland. That explains why he had fathered me in California and my half-sister in Switzerland. His obituary also said he was a big fan of Dixieland Jazz, and there was an English band in Merzligen nine months before my half-sister was born.

That he was listed as unknown on both of our birth certificates, indicates he had at best a one-night stand with our mothers.

We used the MyHeritage DNA test, not Ancestry.

Bob Juch , luizph / pexels Report

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My husband grew up believing he was half Cherokee, and while no one would ever mistake him for a black man, his skin was definitely browner than mine.

A year or two before he died, he decided to find out if the family lore was true. To his shock, he found out that he was mostly English and Scottish, as befit his birth surname, Keith. (He was adopted by a couple named Stockton when he was a preschooler.) He did have Native American blood — a whole 3%. All the testing service could suggest was that he was probably descended from a tribe in the American Southwest, but it couldn’t pinpoint which one.

Depending on where you draw the eastern border of the Southwest, he might have been 3% Cherokee. Or he could have been Navajo, Ute, Apache, Aztec or some tribe he never heard of. He never found out.

Angela Stockton , Edward Jenner / pexels Report

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Lola P1970

Lola P1970

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2 months ago

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Diné, I believe, is what Navajo are now called.

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DNA TEST?

There are four of us girls, in my family. My mom was a God fearing woman, as so was my dad. We were raised strictly, with a lot of rules, early curfews, and limited social life.

Fifteen years ago, my mom had a massive brain stem stroke. She was left with many handicaps, and memory loss. She passed three years later.

My father, mentioned to us, a couple years later, after she passed, that before the stroke, mom told him, one of us girls, might not be his. In all our lives, this was never mentioned. Now with mom gone, and my dad was getting older, he springs this “ info” on us. I believe back in the day, no one thought that 40 years later, with just a blood sample, we can connect the dots, and learn secrets that would have “ went to their grave. We needed to know.

We ordered a reputable DNA test, and each one of us sent a blood sample, along with blood from dad. I didn't want him to be aware that we were digging up the skeletons…he would have been devastated knowing the truth.

The test results was my youngest sister did not belong to dad. She possessed no “ like markers,” to connect her to my dad. So we have the evidence, that mom thought that no one would know. But the sad part, is no one knows when, or where, or who…and by now, the Father is probably no longer around, my mom and Dad are both gone…we are left with the why's? We are guessing that by having relationships with both, it was a 50/50 chance she was dads. Not.

Married 50+ years

So as we grow older, we still don't understand.

Sheery Patterson , Дмитрий Зайцев / pexels Report

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Deborah B

Deborah B

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2 months ago

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Cases like this, it's sometimes a fling, but it's often rape.

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