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Horoscopes usually regale us with glowing tales of future love, wealth, and prosperity. One artist, however, has a different interpretation of what the celestial bodies are trying to tell us, and it's a little less frilly.
Shitty Horoscopes is the brainchild of Toronto-based Amrit Brar, also known as 'Musterni.' Unfolding on Tumblr since 2015 and culminating in the recent release of a Kickstarter-funded 13-chapter book, the project turns the shortcomings and darker sides of each star sign into brief but poignant poems, accompanied by delightfully cool drawings of decorated skeletal remains. Brutally honest, yet instantly relatable, Brar's messages to horoscope signs read like a wine-induced 3 AM conversation with your best friend, which is probably why her Tumblr fans just keep demanding more and more of her creative ideas.
Scroll down, find your astrology sign, and have a laugh at the intricacies of our psyche that may or may not be influenced by the planets moving around us.
More info: Official Wesbite, Tumblr, Instagram
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Scorpio
Richard Petch 8 years ago
My ex wife was a Scorpio, she didn't sting herself to death, but she lost the best man she ever had in her life, I missed her for years after our split but not now.
Gayle Bynum Cardosa 8 years ago
These illustrations are really quite lovely though. They're cool af.
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#2
Gemini
Richard Petch 8 years ago
My wife is a twin and I have the best of the two, her sister is a total maniac that would murder you if you looked at her sideways, and if you put a million pounds in her hand today she would not have a penny of it left first thing tomorrow morning, money runs through her hands like quick silver.
Lilian Hayball-clarke 8 years ago
multi -schizophrenic actually ! More than two people in one....
#3
Sagittarius
Cassio Chae 8 years ago
No I'm not and if you say otherwise I will bite your neck clean off so don't cross me mate!
#4
Aquarius
Dijana Diana 8 years ago
Yup,this is libra,i was never unable to make up my mind - on the contrary
Jane Hodge 8 years ago
I'll make up my f*****g mind when you're not f*****g insisting on it ;)
Kim Eakins 8 years ago
Explain why I'm driven insane by my friends not making up their mind on where to go for lunch
#5
Aries
Christopher William 8 years ago
An insatiable hunger that leaves me never satisified. I love it and hate it at the same time. But I'm glad to be an Aries!
Sadie Maruno 8 years ago
lol accuriate i just ate like 2 breakfasts and 2 chicken sandwiches lol I'm always hungry
#6
Libra
Erzsébet Bükkös 8 years ago
I'm a Libra. And this is true, but people usually don't care about that I loving them, like it wasn't the most precious thing they could get from me
Aaron Manulla 8 years ago
Unfortunately us Libra's are often misunderstood, and frequently taken advantage of, due to the fact that we love so completely.
M 8 years ago
I'm a Libra and I agree. But I learned the hard way who deserves my love and who doesn't. The love may be rooted deep but it doesn't mean it's available to all.
P.Brux FHell 8 years ago
Exactly!!! Same thing I just wrote: I can love to the depths of hell, but just as well I can stop loving if you are not worthy of it.
Load More Replies... P.Brux FHell 8 years ago
Aw man, I don't know. I CAN love deeply and fiercely. When I love, I LOVE! But just as well, I can stop loving and caring about someone who crosses me. And my heart has no space for hate. Just love, but not for just about anyone, and not forever. You need to deserve it!
Rachel Shultz 8 years ago
This is completely Libra. We love with a love that is more than love.
#7
Cancer
Master Markus 8 years ago
I thought that Cancer was shy nice people? That's what it always was when I was a kid, and how I first suspected that horoscopes were b******t since I didn't fit it.
BREAK YOUr perceptions 8 years ago
while its true most cancers are shy, shy doesnt equal nice. the best way to describe a cancer is emotional. and emotional people can be aggressive too (im a cancer leo cusp, and boy do i got some problems)
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Helen Coyle 8 years ago
Not in the least bit true must have been written by a scorpio, they are the true a*s holes
Tammy Chapman 7 years ago
My Meme was a Scorpio. She was one of strongest women I have ever known. She could do everything a man could do, and she usually did it even better. Before she retired she was a cross-country truck driver. I lived with her for many years. And we raised 2 of my cousins together. I was 13 when that began. She worked hard, and I had to figure out how to be a Mom to kids that weren't even mine when I was just 13. But, she was always about family. And the only time I saw her being an a*****e was when she was taking up for the family. Oh, and when one of our neighbors in Houston called her something she wasn't. She was a good woman, but she wasn't an a*****e. Thank God!!!!
Load More Replies... #8
Taurus
Branislava Simić 8 years ago
S**t, I dont even know how to decorate them... :D I am such a failure of a Taurus. :D
Desarae Pritchett 8 years ago
I am a Taurus and this is very true. Lucky for me I got myself my own paramedic the second I was born
#9
Pisces
Barbara Jones 8 years ago
As the spouse of a Pisces, I can agree with this. when a Pisces sees something they don't like about themselves, they will bury it deep or deny it.
just some random thinker 7 years ago
s**t, this has made me think a lot, considering im a pisces
Natalie Binebrink-Davis 8 years ago
Pisces here. Totally true, but I don't like that it is. Can't I just bottle it up and forget?
#10
Virgo
Nathalie Delorme Nadeau 8 years ago
Nice understanding and helpful... until you really get us lissed off!!! Lol
piggy panda 8 years ago
this is highly accurate I don't like having secrets but life's boring without them
#11
Leo
Zakk Faith 8 years ago
If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all...
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Corin Bolles 8 years ago
Leos have low expectations because we know better than to depend on anyone else. I'd say that makes us quite lucky ^__^
Corin Bolles 8 years ago
Leos have low expectations because we know better than to depend on someone else. I'd say that makes us very lucky ^__^
vagadagadingdong 8 years ago
I came here to see a bad a*s picture for leo, and it was by far the worst of all, and thats even judging from my low expectations.
Aleksandras Simonov 8 years ago
isn't that goes for everybody? Been Leo whole my life, made choices all my life, if I was getting lucky- well nice of you universe, if not, well being cocky enough I felt responsible to make what ever I was doing as good as it can get, not depending on luck. Ofc it was more of trying to prove a point, not that I really needed thing I was doing. Soo, basically Leos r just pride bastards who are killed by their pride or raised by it
#12
Capricorn
just a thought ! 8 years ago
I usually don't have a big ego ... But some times , when things get out of hand , I just shy away from people , which they might consider as me being egotistic.... So maybe that's how I understand this ...
Rayne Falgout 7 years ago
my capriconic silence can always rub people the wrong way, if they let it get to them that's their own ego. Ever sat in silence with someone and had the most amazing time?
Load More Replies... Branislava Simić 8 years ago
This is interesting for me. As a Taurus I am supposed to get along with Capricorns but I cant stand these people. :D Man, every Capricorn I have met in my life had huge ego issues. It was impossible for me to have friendship with these people because you have to be extra careful about what you are saying and dont try to joke with them because most probably they wont understand it. Also, they are quite obsessed with being leaders even when they dont have any qualities to do so.
Hud Devlink 8 years ago
Capricorn ego = too big = costs person when it's alive & equally so if you'd wish to bury it And yes, I'm a Capricorn 8)
H.U.D. DeVLiNK 8 years ago
don't worry, they didn't get it, hence the negative marks.. 8)
Load More Replies... BREAK YOUr perceptions 8 years ago
i don't quite get this one. any capricorns out there care to explain it?
Zori the degu 8 years ago
My Capricorn sister wouldn't get it either, I'm sure before I even asked her.
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Cilie Wiko M 8 years ago
Lol, I am a capricorn, but I have the tiniest ego I know. Might be because I was born right in between Capricorn and Sagittarius (21-22. Dec), but stilllllllll ~
Alice Lock 8 years ago
Well I'm a Capricorn and I'm having a cremation. Maybe not a casket because I want to be scattered in two different places, a feat I have been trying to achieve all my life but failed to be in two places at one time. In death I hope to achieve y goal. That's ego for you!😂💝
Lea Panthera 3 years ago
I'm a Capricorn, and I used to not believe in this(egos need self-confidence, and I have none😅), but then I met a bunch of other Capricorns and holy mother of pearl, their egos were bigger than their mouths, and that's saying something.
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What do you think ?
Lazy Panda 2 8 years ago
I have never figured out why the stars, billions of miles away, spend so much time aligning themselves to tell me, "you'll be in a spot of bother at work."
Zori the degu 8 years ago
Well, they don't but reading horoscopes is still a great way of fighting boredom. I think that this horoscope is 100% incorrect but the one that my mother likes to watch on ORT TV is surprisingly accurate for my family.
Load More Replies...
Vanessica Bloxgirl 8 years ago
Anyone notice the URL? 'Shiity-horoscopes-zodiac-anthology-amrit-brar'
Emilly Little 8 years ago
If you enjoyed these pieces, this art is done by a tumblr user by the name of Musterni or Amrit Brar, there's more when this came from!
Lazy Panda 2 8 years ago
I have never figured out why the stars, billions of miles away, spend so much time aligning themselves to tell me, "you'll be in a spot of bother at work."
Zori the degu 8 years ago
Well, they don't but reading horoscopes is still a great way of fighting boredom. I think that this horoscope is 100% incorrect but the one that my mother likes to watch on ORT TV is surprisingly accurate for my family.
Load More Replies... Vanessica Bloxgirl 8 years ago
Anyone notice the URL? 'Shiity-horoscopes-zodiac-anthology-amrit-brar'
Emilly Little 8 years ago
If you enjoyed these pieces, this art is done by a tumblr user by the name of Musterni or Amrit Brar, there's more when this came from!
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