"My parents wanted to invite all about 40 people to our wedding"...wait, what? Why do they invite someone at all? This whole notion is crooked.

I agree with what the brother said, give them their money back and go with your original plan. With your parents no longer feeling like it's their show because they are no longer financing it they will probably stop being d***s. Whatever happens keep the venue as its yours and don't get bullied in to compromising.

Never ever have your parents pay for any part of your wedding, even if it means you end up having a very small and simple wedding. Once that foot is in the door they will say "We're the ones who are paying and so we get to say." Brides! Never take up an offer to help pay for or actually pay for your dress either. Trust me, everyone at the dress shopping will have a strong opinion on the dress in the first place, never mind throwing money in for it. Yes, it may have been a knee jerk reaction, but being young lady'd by parents is their control card left over from childhood and is a knee jerk inducing statement. Been there, done that on all 3 things. Eloping in a place of your choice, paid for by you sounds good.

She should have a convo with the parents: "Here's your money back. We're doing our wedding, our way, with our guests only, you have no control over it. If you can accept that with grace, you may attend, but will not be part of any decision making." If sis can't find a venue, she needs to broaden her requirements, or wait, or pitch a gazebo on the lawn. She doesn't get to horn in on yours.

I would give the sister and the parents the whole thing - they can have the date, the venue, the guests and, if course, 100% of the costs all for themselves. What they could not have would be the presence of my partner and me, as we would be getting married without them at the registry office or somewhere on holiday.

Why do parents honestly think they have control over everything 😂😂 never accept money, it always comes with stings attached

How is sharing your wedding "only one thing" that the parents want to decide? Like it's no big deal or what? Hell, no! Her brother is right, though. Uninviting her family was done in the heat of the moment and she should take that back.

To be honest, the parents sound like a headache. This may be a blessing to disinvite them from the wedding altogether.

This woman was definitely right. It's supposed to be her and her partner's special day and trying to force her to share that with anyone is completely unacceptable. Hopefully her parents and sister will be able to attend her wedding as long as they don't fill the day with snarky comments or trying to shame her for choosing to make her day as special as possible. My mum's family is a lot like this and they ended up eloping to avoid the drama. 30 years later they still insist it was the best decision they ever made

It seems so weird to me to have parents pay for your wedding. (Just get the wedding you can pay by yourself.) I don't know anyone who's ever done that over here and I have been to weddings in Switzerland, Sweden and Italy.

Parents are probably on the hook for paying for both weddings and can't handle the cost, so sane compromise is in order to be fair to them: Share the venue, but have sequential weddings. Then after, have separate receptions. That way you don't have to "share" the wedding, still get to celebrate your own way, and financially help your parents.

Just a reminder to take this with a grain of salt. It’s the internet, after all.

I think just taking control of your own wedding is for sure the right call. The parents way over stepped. However, there is also a big chance that she will calm down later on in life and regret not having her parents there. She made her point, she is getting the wedding she wanted, extend the olive branch so it doesn't sour the memory of the day. If her parents don't come, that fact is always going to stick with her. If they do come, then the details of this whole fight will fade with time. She will think way less about the fight surrounding it and way more about the day itself. If the parents are still d***s then tell them to stay home. If they will put the whole thing behind them than I think the bride will be happier in the long run to put it behind her as well. Sounds more like she just hates her brother-in-law, don't let that dude screw up your wedding by not having your family with you.

Not only nta but keep the daughter away from bil. Men like that can be super abusive

I would not mind to share a wedding, nor invite people my parents want there, I think. Weddings are not such a big deal here anyway. BUT to share it with someone I hate? Someone like the guy described? No, thank you.

Another IATA story. Oh boy.... Could we please have more "Interesting facts that you probably never heard of? " instead of this crap?

"The one thing they want"?? The one thing they want, is to hijack this poor girl's entire wedding, and make it all about somebody else! This is HER special day! NOT her sister's! I couldn't imagine having "family" like that.

I think the bride did the right thing!! Parents ???? Unbelievable, just follow your original plan for the wedding! ;-}. You'll be fine.

NTA. The parents should stay uninvited, since all they will do at her wedding is bitch abt the whole situation.

Thinking on the legal side that might stand up in court (for entertainment purposes only, I don't recommend doing this). The money was a conditional gift with 2 conditions that I can see 1) spend on the wedding and 2) you invite your parent's 40 guests. Uninvite your parents, sister, and brother in-law to be. Inviting them was not a condition of of gift. Invite the parent's 40 guests and use your parent's money on the wedding. If those guests do not RSVP you can spend that additional money on your wedding as a condition was not those 40 guests attending.

I agree with both. I would have had the same knee jerk as the bride.( and I did but over a lesser issue then sharing my wedding ) Weddings are an emotional time and irrational thought and knee jerk reactions are par for the course. Her brother is right as well. She should smooth things over with them and then just elope with her fiancé. No inviting /Uninviting needed. Throw a big party when they get back with their 20 guests and family and use the rest of the money for a house or the honeymoon!

I'd stick to my guns & tell me family where to go! I'm not sharing my wedding day with a sibling I'm not close to & being strong armed by my parents. Change phone numbers, move home & don't give them the details! You don't need that sort of negativity in your life!

The amount of people that have parents like this worry me

Funniest part of this is BP pretending they're adding something to the Reddit post by reaching out to a wedding planner to explain to us that this is rude 🤣

f***, i would let my parents rule guest list at first place

Why are all the aita posts about weddings on bp?

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Oh I like the way they throw in the sexist fiance, this site is so American beyond belief. Let's incite a problem that doesn't exist, what the F is wrong with these woke journalists, Let's forget the news and bandwagon what we can jump on this week Pure sadness that you lot let these fools direct your lives, Be awakened and realize these are not woke just profiteering on your ignorance,. F´ me so sad.