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100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read

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Fie! Cometh h're and englut mine own coxcomb, thee distemperate daw! And plenty more of that, but in human language, is sure to come if you keep on reading (or just scrolling) our list of Shakespearean insults. Is there any better way to insult someone if not using the words by the one and only, the OG pun master, Willy S.? Not in our book, nuh-uh.

So, anyway, you might’ve heard of Shakespeare and his absolutely time-defying specimens of writing like Romeo and Juliet, Othello, or Hamlet. But have you ever stopped to think that William, besides being a legit word ninja, was also the person to come up with stuff like puns, yo mama jokes (yeah, really!), and unique insults that are so original and sophisticated that by using them, you’ll not only say your piece, but truly leave your opponent dumbfounded and feeling like a measly earthworm compared to the piece that just came out of your mouth? And if the last sentence already seemed like a mouthful due to missing dots and semicolons to break up the thoughts, then just hang on for a minute until you actually start reading these insults by Shakespeare.

Now, grab a quill and a piece of parchment because you’ll definitely want to write some of these awesome Shakespearean insults down, if not memorize them by heart. Although all of these swear words and sayings are a blast to read, some of them might just reverberate your heartstrings more; in that case, give them your vote! And lastly, share the absolute best insults by Shakespeare with anyone who’s into cursing like a real snob.

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#1

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read "He has not so much brain as ear-wax." - "Troilus and Cressida" (Act 5, Scene 1).

35points

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#2

"I do desire that we may be better strangers." - "As You Like It" (Act 3, Scene 2).

32points

#3

“Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat.” - "Henry V" (Act 4, Scene 4).

31points

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#4

“You have such a February face, So full of frost, of storm, and cloudiness.” - "Much Ado About Nothing" (Act 5, Scene 4).

31points

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#5

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read "They have a plentiful lack of wit." - "Hamlet" (Act 2, Scene 2).

31points

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#6

“What, you egg?” - "Macbeth" (Act 4, Scene 2).

28points

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#7

“Away, you three-inch fool! “ - "The Taming of the Shrew" (Act 4, Scene 1).

27points

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#8

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read “Villain, I have done thy mother” - "Titus Andronicus" (Act 4, Scene 2).

23points

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#9

“I’d beat thee, but I should infect my hands.” - "Timon of Athens."

23points

#10

“Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage.” - "As You Like It" (Act 2, Scene 7).

22points

#11

“No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe; I could find countries in her.” - "The Comedy of Errors" (Act 3, Scene 2).

22points

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#12

"I do wish thou were a dog, that I might love thee something." - "Timon of Athens" (Act 4, Scene 4).

22points

#13

“Men from children nothing differ.” - "Much Ado About Nothing."

22points

#14

“You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!” - "Henry IV Part 1" (Act 2, Scene 4).

21points

#15

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read "Thou slander of thy heavy mother's womb!" - "Richard III."

21points

#16

"That kiss is as comfortless as frozen water to a starved snake." - "Titus Andronicus."

21points

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#17

“Out of my sight! Thou dost infect mine eyes.” - "Richard III" (Act 1, Scene 2).

19points

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#18

“You are as a candle, the better burnt out.” - "Henry IV Part 2" (Act 1, Scene 2).

18points

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#19

"If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt." - "Two Gentlemen of Verona" (Act 2, Scene 4).

17points

#20

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read "Away, you mouldy rogue, away!" - "Henry IV, Part 2" (Act 2, Scene 4).

17points

#21

“There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.” - "Henry IV Part 1" (Act 3, Scene 3).

16points

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#22

“Thou lump of foul deformity.” - "Richard III" (Act 1, Scene 2).

16points

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#23

"She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults." - "Two Gentlemen of Verona" (Act 3, Scene 1).

16points

#24

“I am sick when I do look on thee.” - "A Midsummer Night’s Dream" (Act 2, Scene 1).

15points

#25

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read "You, minion, are too saucy." - "The Two Gentlemen of Verona" (Act 1, Scene 2).

15points

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#26

"You do unbend your noble strength, to think so brainsickly of things." - "Macbeth."

14points

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#27

“The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril.” - "The Merry Wives of Windsor" (Act 3, Scene 5).

13points

#28

“The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.” - "The Comedy of Errors" (Act 5, Scene 4).

13points

#29

“Thou art a boil, a plague sore.” - "King Lear" (Act 2, Scene 2).

13points

#30

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read “Thou cream faced loon.” - "Macbeth" (Act 5, Scene 3).

13points

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#31

"Your abilities are too infant-like for doing much alone." - "Coriolanus" (Act 2, Scene 1).

13points

#32

“Thou art a very ragged wart.” - "Henry IV" (Act 3, Scene 2).

13points

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#33

“His wit’s as thick as a Tewkesbury mustard.” - "Henry IV Part 2" (Act 2, Scene 4).

12points

#34

“Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows.” - "Troilus and Cressida" (Act 2, Scene 1).

12points

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#35

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read “You poor, base, rascally, cheating lack-linen mate!” - "Henry IV Part II" (Act 2, Scene 4).

12points

#36

"You are not worth another word, else I’d call you knave." - "All’s Well That Ends Well" (Act 2, Scene 3).

12points

#37

"Drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be swine drunk, and in his sleep he does little harm, save to his bedclothes about him." - "All’s Well That Ends Well" (Act 4, Scene 3).

12points

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#38

"Her face is not worth sunburning." - "Henry V" (Act 5, Scene 2).

12points

#39

"Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket thou!" - "The Taming of the Shrew" (Act 3, Scene 3).

12points

#40

"Thou art a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel b***h." - "King Lear" (Act 2, Scene 2).

12points

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#41

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read "In civility thou seem'st so empty." - "As You Like It."

12points

#42

“A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.” - "All’s Well That Ends Well" (Act 3, Scene 6).

11points

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#43

“If thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them.” - "Hamlet" (Act 3, Scene 1).

11points

#44

“Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.” - "All’s Well That Ends Well" (Act 2, Scene 3).

11points

#45

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read “Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of Nile.” - "Cymbeline" (Act 3, Scene 4).

11points

#46

"Eater of broken meats!" - "King Lear" (Act 2, Scene 2).

11points

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#47

“I scorn you, scurvy companion.” - "Henry IV Part II" (Act 2, Scene 4).

10points

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#48

“Peace, ye fat guts!” - "Henry IV Part 1" (Act 2, Scene 2).

10points

#49

“Thou art as fat as butter.” - "Henry IV Part 1" (Act 2, Scene 4).

10points

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#50

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read “Thou leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch!” - "Henry IV Part 1" (Act 2, Scene 4).

10points

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#51

“Thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade.” - "Measure For Measure" (Act 3, Scene 1).

10points

#52

"You are now sailed into the north of my lady’s opinion, where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman’s beard." - "Twelfth Night" (Act 3, Scene 2).

10points

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Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

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#53

"Thou hateful wither’d hag!" - "Richard III" (Act I, Scene 3).

10points

#54

“You basket-hilt stale juggler, you!” - "Henry IV Part 2."

10points

#55

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read “Come, come, you froward and unable worms!” - "The Taming Of The Shrew" (Act 5, Scene 2).

9points

#56

“Like the toad; ugly and venomous.” - "As You Like It" (Act 2, Scene 1).

9points

#57

“Thou art unfit for any place but hell.” - "Richard III" (Act 1 Scene 2).

9points

#58

“Thou subtle, perjur’d, false, disloyal man!” - "The Two Gentlemen of Verona" (Act 4, Scene 2).

9points

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#59

"You should be women, and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so." - "Macbeth" (Act 1, Scene 3).

9points

#60

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read “More of your conversation would infect my brain.” - "Coriolanus" (Act 2, Scene 1).

8points

#61

“Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon.” - "Timon of Athens" (Act 4, Scene 3).

8points

#62

"Thou art the cap of all the fools." - "Timon of Athens" (Act 4, Scene 3).

8points

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#63

“I am pigeon-liver’d and lack gall.” - "Hamlet" (Act 2, Scene 2).

7points

#64

“My wife’s a hobby horse!” - "The Winter’s Tale" (Act 2, Scene 1).

7points

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#65

“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?” - "Henry IV Part 1" (Act 2, Scene 4).

7points

#66

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read “Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!” - "Henry IV Part 1" (Act 2, Scene 4 ).

7points

#67

"A rare parrot-teacher!" - "Much Ado About Nothing" (Act 1, Scene 1).

7points

#68

"O you beast! I’ll so maul you and your toasting-iron, That you shall think the devil is come from hell." - "King John" (Act 4, Scene 3).

7points

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

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#69

“A foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is man!” - "Hamlet."

7points

#70

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read "Thou foul defacer of God's handiwork." - "Richard III."

7points

#71

“Thine forward voice, now, is to speak well of thine friend; thine backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract.” - "The Tempest" (Act 2, Scene 2).

6points

#72

“Thine face is not worth sunburning.” - "Henry V" (Act 5, Scene 2).

6points

#73

“Thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter!” - "King Lear" (Act 2, Scene 2 ).

6points

#74

“You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!” - "Henry IV Part 2" (Act 2, Scene 1).

6points

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“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

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#75

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read “Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell” - "Othello" (Act 4, Scene 2).

6points

#76

"A fool, an empty purse. There was no money in’t." - "Cymbeline" (Act 4, Scene 2).

6points

#77

“Thou crusty batch of nature!” - "Troilus and Cressida."

6points

#78

“You starveling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s tongue, you bull’s pizzle, you stock-fish!” - "Henry IV Part 1."

6points

#79

“Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish!” - "Henry IV Part 1" (Act 2, Scene 4).

5points

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Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

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#80

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read “I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.” - "Timon of Athens" (Act 4, Scene 3).

5points

#81

“Was the Duke a flesh-monger, a fool and a coward?” - "Measure For Measure" (Act 5, Scene 1).

5points

#82

“Here is the babe, as loathsome as a toad.” - "Titus Andronicus" (Act 4, Scene 3).

5points

#83

“Thou elvish-mark’d, abortive, rooting hog!” - "Richard III" (Act 1, Scene 3 ).

5points

#84

“That poisonous bunch-back’d toad!” - "Richard III" (Act 1, Scene 3).

5points

#85

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read “Would thou wouldst burst!” - "Timon of Athens" (Act 4, Scene 3).

5points

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#86

"Four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature." - "Much Ado About Nothing" (Act 1, Scene 1).

5points

#87

"It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." - "Macbeth" (Act 5, Scene 5).

5points

#88

"Away thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant." - "The Taming of the Shrew" (Act 4, Scene 3).

5points

#89

"Foul spoken coward, that thund’rest with thy tongue, and with thy weapon nothing dares perform." - "Titus Andronicus" (Act 2, Scene 1).

5points

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#90

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read "Threadbare juggler!" - "The Comedy of Errors" (Act 5, Scene 1).

5points

#91

"Saucy lackey!" - "As You Like It" (Act 3, Scene 2).

5points

#92

"Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all." - "The Comedy of Errors" (Act 4, Scene 4).

5points

#93

"Bottled spider!" - "Richard III" (Act 1, Scene 3).

5points

#94

"A weasel hath not such a deal of spleen as you are toss’d with." - "Henry IV, Part 1" (Act 2, Scene 3).

5points

#95

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read "By mine honour, if I were but two hours younger, I’d beat thee." - "All’s Well That Ends Well" (Act 2, Scene 3).

5points

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#96

"Bloody, bawdy villain! Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain!" - "Hamlet" (Act 2, Scene 2).

5points

#97

“Sweep on, you fat and greasy citizens!” - "As You Like It."

5points

#98

“You common cry of curs, whose breath I hate, as reek o’ the rotten fens.” - "Coriolanus."

5points

#99

"Come, come, you froward and unable worms!" - "The Taming Of The Shrew" (Act 5, Scene 2).

4points

#100

100 Shakespeare Insults That Are A Blast To Read “Why, thou clay brained guts, thou knotty pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow catch!” - "Henry IV Part 1."

4points

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Eligijus Sinkunas

I’m a visual editor for Bored Panda, trying to find and select high-quality images to enhance articles across different formats. With a keen eye for detail, my goal is to ensure that each picture helps to attract readers into captivating visual experiences. As a freelancer, I’m also working as a video editor for a YouTube channel that makes music games. After work, I like to play with guitar, go to karate classes or just relax at home at play video games.

I’m a visual editor for Bored Panda, trying to find and select high-quality images to enhance articles across different formats. With a keen eye for detail, my goal is to ensure that each picture helps to attract readers into captivating visual experiences. As a freelancer, I’m also working as a video editor for a YouTube channel that makes music games. After work, I like to play with guitar, go to karate classes or just relax at home at play video games.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

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