(2/2) However I'm NOT giving up. That person and what went down all those years ago is not going to hold me hostage for the rest of my life. Would it have been nice to find my strength in my own pace? Yes. However, it didn't happen. But damn it, I've learned to be strong for myself and I do things now I probably never would have entertained the thoughts of if I had it easier. I did not forgive that person. I don't think I'll ever be able to. But if I'd met him on the streets today, I don't think I'd punch him anymore. He's not even worth of that. I just hope I'm the only one, that has to suffer because of him.

Nomadus, you have to look at it this way, you're being held hostage by one event that was traumatic. After I had it happen to me, not long after I lost my virginity and I had a real hard time giving myself to another guy. But eventually I just got strong and said IT is not gonna happen to me- AGAIN!

So sad to hear what you have been through, And yes it effects us for a long time after, The invisible wounds are still wounds, and crippling.

I'm a rape victim too. I told her NO more than once yet she persisted. WOMEN ARE RAPISTS TOO! Until that is acknowledged NOTHING will change....

I hope you are able to look at the fact that you DID do more than just survive: you actually MOVED OUT OF THE COUNTRY! you have started a *whole new life*! That's AMAZING! If you can do that, I am absolutely positive that you will be able to overcome any other obstacle in your life. And to help you along, it might be a good idea to get some counseling, even if it's just to have someone to talk to about it.

Are you for real? Google. It works. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2388679/posts I don't​ the other link works anymore and I want to keep this fresh. As this is perhaps the absolute best example of how some men treat people who are raped. The immediate go to is that the victim is lying. Brilliant.

Saskia, I warn you... Do not dare run your mouth again. You should be disgusted with yourself. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2388679/posts Check your facts you ignorant piece of s**t, how dare you torment a rape victim.

So f****d up. I googled it and it says 1985, Nashville Airport Rapist. Where did you come with your (bad) info?

Master Markus: first of all, the fact that you’re “not familiar with cases of rape” is baffling; how exactly do you expect to fully understand the concept of consent and assault if you don’t bother to familiarize yourself with the consequences? Second, your brain (your prefrontal cortex, where rational thought/processing/reasoning occurs) often shuts down during a trauma, causing the person to enter “fight, flight, or freeze” mode, resulting in the prefrontal cortex to shut down. Your brain gets overwhelmed and disorganized due to the presently occurring trauma and your body goes into survival mode, shutting down the higher reasoning structures of the brain as a stress response. To summarize: your brain cannot process what’s happening, so your brain and body shut down and are not consciously capable of fighting back. Please, for the love of all that is sane, do your research and understand the prevalence and devastating impact of rape/rape culture so you don’t contribute to it.

Matthew: Your ignorance is astounding. Do you really not understand the concept of consent?? Drugging someone in order to *RAPE* them, not have sex with them as you cannot legally consent when you’re incapacitated, has absolutely NOTHING to do with their relationship status. Ever heard of marital rape? Intimate partner violence? It’s not about sex, it’s about violence and control. Do better.

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If he had to drug you in order to have sex with you, you weren't in a relationship with him.

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Why didn't you kick and scream if you did in fact see it as rape? (If you were drugged then, well, that's the more pressing issue than "you didn't put up a fuss") Don't misinterpret this, I'm certainly not blaming you for NOT kicking and screaming, I'm just not familiar with cases of rape, particularly within the context of a pre-existing relationship.

this is pure horror. i am so sorry.

@Brandon Wiegand: Digit = fingers.

Why do you still refer to the turd as "my boyfriend"? Just saying

"digitally penetrated"?

Such a horrible experience.. So sorry! This is so clearly rape. Pinning down a screaming frightened girl..my blood boils in anger.. 'entitled to sex?' pfuh! Sure, sex is part of a good relationship. But if one thinks there isnt enough sex, one should talk about it. And if that fails, maybe end the relationship to find someone that is more compatible...But never, never just take it! Especially not from a nervous inexperienced girl. He should have eased you, given you time and waited until you were truly ready to consent. What a bastard. Shame none of the neighbors checked what the screaming was about... Had I been the neighbor, be sure i would have knocked on the door to inquire, and either had called the cops on him or have booted down the door and helped you escape if i got no response. I hope you meet a real man (as in: one that lovingly treats you with the respect you deserve and accepts a clear 'no' as a clear no.) as this 'person' may have had a penis, but was no real man.

Thank you!!! I hate that this image of "all men are potential rapists" and how "no means no" somehow seems like a solution to this generation of feminists! Would you use the phrase "no means no" to stop a f*****g bank robbery? Criminals know it's a crime. They don't f*****g care. How is that hard to understand?

@Ramon -- that's where the analogy ends! A 5$ on the street with no one around to claim it is already lost to its owner, completely detached from him or her. That's definitely not the case with anyone's genitals. To put it another way: picking up a lost 5$ isn't theft anymore than having sex with a disembodied vagina/penis lying on the sidewalk is rape, but the latter just can't happen so there's not really any comparison to make.

Actually, if the $5 is found on the street without a clear owner, you put it in your wallet and "save" it. If you see a person lying naked on the street without anyone around, you call the authorities and "save" them.

You just said it's okay to rape a wasted drunk woman, because not being too drunk "Is her responsibility". Can you or can't you score without alcohol?

Good discussion

Just like black people do most crime right?