Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
One wedding photographer has had enough of her personal boundaries being violated, so she turned to the internet to speak up about it. However, the woman soon realized that she touched upon something big — a problem the whole industry suffers from.
Kim Williams is a wedding photographer and videographer based in Brighton, United Kingdom. She shoots about 45 to 50 ceremonies per year, and she told Insider she loves her work.
Except for one thing. She hates the way some men treat her. And we’re not talking about smirks and winks. No no, they go as far as asking for her number in the middle of speeches and repeatedly touching her without consent.
More info: kimwilliamsweddings.com | Instagram
RELATED:
Kim Williams, 30, is a wedding photographer and videographer from the UK
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings.com
A few days ago, she made an Instagram post, describing all the ways men have crossed the line coming on to her while she was simply doing her job
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Williams first noticed that her work can feel uncomfortable when she’s photographing dance floors.
“When I started shooting weddings and was covering a lot of dance floors and big groups of cis-het men around alcohol, a lot of the time I didn’t feel hugely safe,” she revealed, explaining that some men would touch her without consent or try to ask her out.
Furthermore, men at weddings would frequently “mansplain” things to her, or defer to her male staff members.
Williams added that male peers she worked weddings with were also guilty of this type of behavior.
“I went through some really horrendous things, such as a photographer clicking at me all day and refusing to learn my name,” she said.
He then proceeded to ask her to take a selfie with him, and later told Williams he was sending it to his wife because “she knows I have a thing for brunettes.”
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
“I don’t believe it’s women’s problem to solve,” she said. “I think if the men doing the harassing were listening to women, there would be no more harassment because we ask them to stop every single day.”
Williams hopes that sharing her story can lead to industry-wide change that ensures other female and non-binary wedding vendors feel safer at work.
“I would just love for them to be able to turn up at a wedding and feel safe, and feel like all they need to do on that day is focus on making a couple and a guest feel awesome and taking amazing photos or shooting amazing video and not have to worry,” she explained.
As Kim’s message spread around the internet, others came forward with experiences of their own
Image credits: samdocker.co
Sam Docker, who has been in the industry for 9 years now, and has shot weddings all over the UK, Europe, and internationally, is one of Kim’s biggest supporters.
“I’ve heard stories of sexism at weddings before, this isn’t new, but I think in response to Kim’s post around male violence during last year, it made me realize I’d been a little naive towards the situation,” Docker told Bored Panda. “I knew it happened, but Kim’s post highlighted two things: 1) just how severe and extreme some of the abuse can be (Kim’s experiences and the DMs I’ve received from other female photographers detailing their own personal stories have been, quite frankly, shocking and uncomfortable to read), and 2) I was most certainly naive towards the frequency of these experiences.”
However, from speaking to Kim and others, Docker found out there’s a similar incident at almost every single wedding. “These are not isolated cases that happen every now and then to a few female colleagues. These are constant and regular assaults on working women, women who should be allowed to feel safe doing the job of which they are being paid to do, they should not, and never be harassed or assaulted at work,” he explained.
“Following on from reading Kim’s post, I messaged Amy who works in my studio to say that we should address this issue. It’s a complex one, but having spent some time researching the issue and sharing a zoom with Amy and Kim, it was clear that one of the main obstacles and frustrations around this issue is that men do not step up and talk about the problem, and they also don’t call it out amongst their peers at the moment, it’s far too often passed off as ‘lad banter’ or just ‘a joke’ — so we felt that needed to change and that we should take a stance to try and encourage that discussion amongst men,” the photographer said.
According to Docker, even though this issue affects us all, more men need to recognize this behavior and start calling it out as unacceptable.
Image credits: samdocker.co
Sadly, there are plenty of similar examples
Image credits: samdocker.co
Image credits: samdocker.co
Image credits: samdocker.co
Image credits: samdocker.co
Image credits: samdocker.co
Williams started the hashtag #handsoffwedding for other wedding photographers to use if they want to share them
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
She also shared a series of tips in order to help couples to make their wedding a safe place to work
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Image credits: kimwilliamsweddings
Here’s what people said about the issue
Image credits: www.facebook.com
Image credits: www.facebook.com
Image credits: www.facebook.com
Image credits: www.facebook.com
Image credits: www.facebook.com
Image credits: www.facebook.com
Image credits: www.facebook.com
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Walking On Sunshine 3 years ago
Literally waiting right now on all the misogynists to show up in this comment thread and prove this lady right.
ToGo 3 years ago
I have countless stories like this. Aside from being raped once, I've literally lost count of how many times I've been assaulted, touched, grabbed. I used to confide in people because it would make me feel so worthless and violated but I would always get "he seems like a nice guy", "maybe it's part of his culture", "oh he's just had a few too many" etc that I stopped talking about it altogether. I don't know anyone like OP who understands that all this is WRONG and ILLEGAL. Sorry to vent on here but I think I'd snap one day if it wasn't for places like this letting me feel like I've told someone.
Sweetie Cake 3 years ago
i’m so sorry for you. if you ever need to talk i’m here. stay safe sweetie x <3
Load More Replies...
Poultry Geist 3 years ago
Some men act like asses whenever they get the chance! I was a beer cart girl at a golf course for 6 years! I feel like I can spot them a mile away now !
Caroline Nagel 3 years ago
Men should try out this kind of behaviour on their mothers first and see how they like it. I bet they would be horrified by how their sons would act towards women they don't know. I was assaulted once on a very packed tram (in Antwerp) and I still remeber the nasty smirk on the boy's face - he couldn't be older than twenty, I was around 50 at the time. I was so perpelexed I completely forgot to kick him in the balls. A man, yes a man, pulled me towards him to let me lean against him and didn't touch me.
Katy Hickman 3 years ago
You’d be surprised at how many moms are aware of their son’s sh*tty behavior. But definitely a change needs to happen
Load More Replies...
Kristin Ingersoll 3 years ago
Brian Young - Blaming it on her for choosing her clients poorly. Seriously, dude? The amount of crap women put up with, and in many instances, don't even register because it's so commonplace, is disgusting. Men, get a grip.
Gavin Johnson 3 years ago
The photographer (and other wedding staff) can choose their clients, they CAN’T choose the 100-200+ guests who attend the wedding. It’s not on the photographer AT ALL, it’s ALL on the men who don’t know how to behave in an appropriate manner.
Load More Replies...
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
I think normal men who don't do crap like this have no idea how frequent it is. And the a*****e men who ARE doing it, know it's wrong but have gotten away with it many times and are confident there will be no consequences for them this time either.
Asswipe 3 years ago
Might be because the worst are also sneaky. However. Some guys are clueless and don't think they're doing anything wrong because they wouldn't mind be touched or treated the same way or would be even flattered. Ofc I mean less intrusive behaviour.
Load More Replies...
Jo Choto 3 years ago
I feel like this is one slice of the pie. Because in my life as a cis-woman, I have experienced all these things and more just by being alive in a public space. It made me think of the time I was at a large university disco (dance whatever) and these two guys were harassing me. There was a conga line (it was the 80s) and they immediately sandwiched me front and back. The one in front gripped my arms and the one behind groped me. I managed to get them both off me. Then they started fighting each other and one of them swung and hit me by mistake. I'd had enough by this point so I punched him, lights out, onto the floor (former bouncer). At this point, another young man who had been making his way over approached me and asked if I was all right. He said he had seen them groping me and was actually coming over to step in when they started swinging. He was really angry and upset at my treatment. I feel like this represents all the men. For every two arseholes, there is one good guy.
JessRS 3 years ago
If there's only one good guy for every two bad guys, things are very bad
Load More Replies...
tuzdayschild 3 years ago
Don't be shy about firmly telling someone to "Get your hand off of me!" Look them in the eye and put on your best "Do I look like I'm joking?" face.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
THIS. Be loud, draw attention to it. Don't aid the perpetrator by keeping his dirty secret.
Load More Replies...
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
All men think they're champions for women's safety and equality simply because they're not abusers. They take no active part in stopping the men they know continuing their mentality and behavior, they just smile and let it slide. My male roommate goes on and on about how he's a feminist and champions women, until I pointed out that he happily sat and watched his male friend verbally abuse and threaten the two women at the table, while he sat there with a stupid grin on his face and said nothing. Until I pointed that out he didn't realize how big a part of the problem he, and many other men are. Men are the beginning, and end, of the fuc*ing problem.
Veronica Sjöberg 3 years ago
This is very important. Often when "not all men" say, very proudly, that they have never assaulted a woman it's like they forget that that's the very least you expect from another human being. It's not an accomplishment, you are not a champion or a hero.
Load More Replies...
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
I don't know a single woman, including myself, who hasn't been sexually assaulted...from being catcalled to having her body touched without her permission to being raped. Not a single woman I know has escaped this behavior. So, every time you say "not all men behave this way," remember that every woman has been treated this way.
Redwood Rebelgirl 3 years ago
I am sorry for what you & all of our sisters have endured. 💔 I am a survivor, myself. However, that still does NOT make ALL MEN perpetrators. A few scumbags perpetrate on MANY, MANY women, in my experience. I have also been assaulted by women. Women assault men (who get even less support than women who are victimized 💔), & women assault women. Men assault women, & men assault men. Perpetrators come in every sex & gender. Victims come in every sex & gender. I raised a son who would not do these things to women, nor would his Father, either of his Grandfathers, my brother, my Uncle, my male friends, nor my male comrades. It is ABSOLUTELY false that "ALL MEN" are misogynists, or predators. There are many scumbags, & they generally perpetrate on MANY, MANY, MANY victims, in my experience. There are many, many good & decent men, who would not perpetrate upon anyone.
Load More Replies...
Walking On Sunshine 3 years ago
Literally waiting right now on all the misogynists to show up in this comment thread and prove this lady right.
ToGo 3 years ago
I have countless stories like this. Aside from being raped once, I've literally lost count of how many times I've been assaulted, touched, grabbed. I used to confide in people because it would make me feel so worthless and violated but I would always get "he seems like a nice guy", "maybe it's part of his culture", "oh he's just had a few too many" etc that I stopped talking about it altogether. I don't know anyone like OP who understands that all this is WRONG and ILLEGAL. Sorry to vent on here but I think I'd snap one day if it wasn't for places like this letting me feel like I've told someone.
Sweetie Cake 3 years ago
i’m so sorry for you. if you ever need to talk i’m here. stay safe sweetie x <3
Load More Replies... Poultry Geist 3 years ago
Some men act like asses whenever they get the chance! I was a beer cart girl at a golf course for 6 years! I feel like I can spot them a mile away now !
Caroline Nagel 3 years ago
Men should try out this kind of behaviour on their mothers first and see how they like it. I bet they would be horrified by how their sons would act towards women they don't know. I was assaulted once on a very packed tram (in Antwerp) and I still remeber the nasty smirk on the boy's face - he couldn't be older than twenty, I was around 50 at the time. I was so perpelexed I completely forgot to kick him in the balls. A man, yes a man, pulled me towards him to let me lean against him and didn't touch me.
Katy Hickman 3 years ago
You’d be surprised at how many moms are aware of their son’s sh*tty behavior. But definitely a change needs to happen
Load More Replies... Kristin Ingersoll 3 years ago
Brian Young - Blaming it on her for choosing her clients poorly. Seriously, dude? The amount of crap women put up with, and in many instances, don't even register because it's so commonplace, is disgusting. Men, get a grip.
Gavin Johnson 3 years ago
The photographer (and other wedding staff) can choose their clients, they CAN’T choose the 100-200+ guests who attend the wedding. It’s not on the photographer AT ALL, it’s ALL on the men who don’t know how to behave in an appropriate manner.
Load More Replies... Martha Meyer 3 years ago
I think normal men who don't do crap like this have no idea how frequent it is. And the a*****e men who ARE doing it, know it's wrong but have gotten away with it many times and are confident there will be no consequences for them this time either.
Asswipe 3 years ago
Might be because the worst are also sneaky. However. Some guys are clueless and don't think they're doing anything wrong because they wouldn't mind be touched or treated the same way or would be even flattered. Ofc I mean less intrusive behaviour.
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 3 years ago
I feel like this is one slice of the pie. Because in my life as a cis-woman, I have experienced all these things and more just by being alive in a public space. It made me think of the time I was at a large university disco (dance whatever) and these two guys were harassing me. There was a conga line (it was the 80s) and they immediately sandwiched me front and back. The one in front gripped my arms and the one behind groped me. I managed to get them both off me. Then they started fighting each other and one of them swung and hit me by mistake. I'd had enough by this point so I punched him, lights out, onto the floor (former bouncer). At this point, another young man who had been making his way over approached me and asked if I was all right. He said he had seen them groping me and was actually coming over to step in when they started swinging. He was really angry and upset at my treatment. I feel like this represents all the men. For every two arseholes, there is one good guy.
JessRS 3 years ago
If there's only one good guy for every two bad guys, things are very bad
Load More Replies... tuzdayschild 3 years ago
Don't be shy about firmly telling someone to "Get your hand off of me!" Look them in the eye and put on your best "Do I look like I'm joking?" face.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
THIS. Be loud, draw attention to it. Don't aid the perpetrator by keeping his dirty secret.
Load More Replies... Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
All men think they're champions for women's safety and equality simply because they're not abusers. They take no active part in stopping the men they know continuing their mentality and behavior, they just smile and let it slide. My male roommate goes on and on about how he's a feminist and champions women, until I pointed out that he happily sat and watched his male friend verbally abuse and threaten the two women at the table, while he sat there with a stupid grin on his face and said nothing. Until I pointed that out he didn't realize how big a part of the problem he, and many other men are. Men are the beginning, and end, of the fuc*ing problem.
Veronica Sjöberg 3 years ago
This is very important. Often when "not all men" say, very proudly, that they have never assaulted a woman it's like they forget that that's the very least you expect from another human being. It's not an accomplishment, you are not a champion or a hero.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
I don't know a single woman, including myself, who hasn't been sexually assaulted...from being catcalled to having her body touched without her permission to being raped. Not a single woman I know has escaped this behavior. So, every time you say "not all men behave this way," remember that every woman has been treated this way.
Redwood Rebelgirl 3 years ago
I am sorry for what you & all of our sisters have endured. 💔 I am a survivor, myself. However, that still does NOT make ALL MEN perpetrators. A few scumbags perpetrate on MANY, MANY women, in my experience. I have also been assaulted by women. Women assault men (who get even less support than women who are victimized 💔), & women assault women. Men assault women, & men assault men. Perpetrators come in every sex & gender. Victims come in every sex & gender. I raised a son who would not do these things to women, nor would his Father, either of his Grandfathers, my brother, my Uncle, my male friends, nor my male comrades. It is ABSOLUTELY false that "ALL MEN" are misogynists, or predators. There are many scumbags, & they generally perpetrate on MANY, MANY, MANY victims, in my experience. There are many, many good & decent men, who would not perpetrate upon anyone.
Load More Replies...
Related on Bored Panda
129
210