Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

11YO Is Excluded From “Best Friend’s” B-Day Party, Is In Tears After They Facetime Her

11YO Is Excluded From “Best Friend’s” B-Day Party, Is In Tears After They Facetime Her

Interview With Expert
ADVERTISEMENT

Making friends as a kid has got to be one of the easiest things possible. The tricky part is holding onto those friendships as you get older. Sometimes drama or conflict can ruin a good connection with a friend, which is a very painful experience, even if it’s all part of growing up.

This is a difficult thing to witness as a parent, and many moms and dads may feel like they have to rescue their kids from such situations. This is exactly what one mom went through when her daughter felt left out by her best friends.

More info: Mumsnet

You May Also Like:

It’s tough to be made to feel like you’re the odd one out from your friend group, nobody wants to be put in such a situation

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster explained that her 11-year-old autistic daughter Sarah had been best friends with a girl named Molly since they were three years old, and became friends with a girl named Poppy through her

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

One day Molly had to attend a birthday party but she didn’t mention whose it was, Sarah later learned it was Poppy’s party because both the girls video called her from it

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Ron Lach / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster felt like it was mean for the girls to call Sarah during the party and also hide that it was happening in the first place

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Treacle2024

Sarah was heartbroken over the incident, but even though her mom felt the situation was uncalled for, she wondered if her daughter was being too sensitive about all that went down

This situation is tough because it almost seems like Sarah’s best friends were rubbing salt in the wound by video calling her from a party she wasn’t invited to. So, it makes sense that she was hurt. The problem is that her mom felt helpless seeing all this going down and wondering what to do to relieve her daughter’s pain.

To help us gain insight into how these situations should be handled, Bored Panda contacted JoAnn Crohn (M.Ed), a parenting educator and certified life coach who helps moms feel confident in raising empowered kids while also pursuing their own goals. She’s the founder of a company called ‘No Guilt Mom’ along with being an accomplished writer, author, speaker, and podcast host. 

ADVERTISEMENT

JoAnn told us that “phrases like ‘I hate them’ or ‘they’re so mean’ are completely ok when venting to a trusted adult. It’s ok for kids to be angry, mad and sad during this time. They do not have to look on the bright side and do not have to see the positive.” She also explained that psychological health comes from expressing the appropriate emotions at the appropriate time.

It must have been tough for the poster to step aside and just be there for her daughter instead of fixing the situation. JoAnn mentioned that “friend drama is a tricky one for parents. The best role for parents to take is to be there emotionally for their kids and to physically comfort them.” 

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The mom told commenters that her daughter, Sarah, has special needs. She is neurodivergent, wears leg splits, and has a nasal tube as well. That’s probably why the poster was so worried about her being excluded even further, especially by the two girls with whom she was friends.

ADVERTISEMENT

It might seem counterproductive, but JoAnn said: “in regards to how much parents should get involved in their kid’s friendships, my best advice is to stay out of it as much as possible. Physically, parents just need to be available and at their kid’s side if needed. If the parent can’t be available, another trusted adult can fill this role too.”

Some netizens felt that Molly and Poppy were being spiteful and had purposely called Sarah while the party was on to make her feel bad about not being there. JoAnn said to “look for signs of bullying, which is a repeated instance of these girls rubbing her daughter’s nose in things. If this is happening over and over again, I recommend talking to her daughter’s teacher.”

Every parent wants to protect their child from situations like this, but sometimes, children need to figure out what to do next on their own. What would you have done if you were in the mom’s shoes? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

Netizens sided with Sarah and did not think she was unreasonable for feeling hurt or betrayed that Molly and Poppy had attended the party together

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Ic_polls

Poll Question

Thanks! Check out the results:

Share on Facebook
Beverly Noronha

Beverly Noronha

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

Read less »
Beverly Noronha

Beverly Noronha

Writer, BoredPanda staff

You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

Read less »

Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

What do you think ?
Add photo comments
POST
AKA AKA
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

dang i thought just not being invited was bad, this is a hundred times worse

Booster Booey
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those parents are teaching their kids early about how to LACK in empathy. Even if the other girls had good intentions, those parents had to know how this would hurt Sarah. What a sad situation for that young one. Hurts my heart.

Load More Replies...
Sunny Day
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lacking more info (attitude of girls on the phone) - I assume Sarah is isolated due to her health? Was there anything different about the party (size, activities) that would make Poppy's parents think Sarah would not like the party, or possibly not be allowed to attend? Because it kinda sounds like Molly and Poppy called to *include* Sarah, the only way they could. (Assume good intentions. It's not worth starting a war when you aren't even sure what happened.)

firecrackershrimp
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there ... The kids might have been clueless ... But they could also have been driven by the parents or are starting to be at that age they feel embarrassed to have a disabled friend .. it happens unfortunately even when they've been close since childhood... And no you and your daughter are not being oversensitive... Those people are asshats.

Load More Comments
AKA AKA
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

dang i thought just not being invited was bad, this is a hundred times worse

Booster Booey
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those parents are teaching their kids early about how to LACK in empathy. Even if the other girls had good intentions, those parents had to know how this would hurt Sarah. What a sad situation for that young one. Hurts my heart.

Load More Replies...
Sunny Day
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lacking more info (attitude of girls on the phone) - I assume Sarah is isolated due to her health? Was there anything different about the party (size, activities) that would make Poppy's parents think Sarah would not like the party, or possibly not be allowed to attend? Because it kinda sounds like Molly and Poppy called to *include* Sarah, the only way they could. (Assume good intentions. It's not worth starting a war when you aren't even sure what happened.)

firecrackershrimp
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there ... The kids might have been clueless ... But they could also have been driven by the parents or are starting to be at that age they feel embarrassed to have a disabled friend .. it happens unfortunately even when they've been close since childhood... And no you and your daughter are not being oversensitive... Those people are asshats.

Load More Comments
You May Like
Related on Bored Panda
Related on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda