"I was told that I was the owner of a pencil store, and my interviewer said that he only needed a pen.

When I started to pretend offering him a selection of pens, I was stopped, "no your only inventory is pencils", specifically the real life No. 2 pencil on the table between us.

So I changed tactics.

"If you are in that dire a need of a pen then I'm assuming that something must have gone wrong with your day. If everything was according to plan for you, you'd have a pen in your pocket and would have passed my shop by and gotten on with your life. But something went wrong, which happens. If I sold you a pen then it could break, it could ruin that nice suit and a 3 cent piece of plastic could cost you hundreds of dollars in the process. All because something simple went wrong.

If something goes wrong with one of my pencils? The worst outcome that could come from a pencil?

Here I hold out the pencil and snap it half.

You just end up with two pencils."

I hate sales but I am still completely dorkily proud of that particular bullsh*t."

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Joel Kirk

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1 year ago

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I would say that if you buy 100 pencils, the pen happens to come as a free gift for the times when you need to sign on the dotted line... Like right there at the bottom of my offer letter.

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Sad-Piglet8543 said: "Easy, tell the interviewer you cannot because your sale method is not selling a customer something they do not need, but match the right customer to the right product at the right time."

AllofaSuddenStory replied: "They are so impressed they want to write that note on the back of your resume. Suddenly they do need a pen."

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Eledore Massis

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Principle stands. But I then will cancel HR's printer toner plan and tell them to use those fancy iPads they wanted or give them back for more toner..

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obscureferences said: "Disassemble the pen and give them one part for free, and offer the rest in a series of microtransactions."

shawerma_sauce replied: "Congratulations! You've been hired by the EA sales department."

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TailsFangirl03

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Yes. EA

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saschaleib said:
"— Would you really hire somebody who charges you 50 quid for a pen that was already yours to begin with?
— 50 quid?!?
— Alright, 30 for you. Deal?"

WizardOfIF replied:
"That's how a guy got me to buy a camp trailer. He started the price out 3 grand over what I was wanting to pay then before I knew it he was knocking the price down without me saying anything. I felt like the best negotiator for getting the price I wanted and was driving it home before I realized I paid exactly what he asked for it."

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"I held it up like a dagger and told him I was going to stab him through the eye with it if he didn't buy it in the next ten seconds. I did not get the job, but I got $417 and a nice watch for the pen."

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kitten levels tokyo

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Interview ten times a week like this and boom! You’re making a living!

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dontbeglad said:
"This pen has the antidote."

Shadow_Lou replied:
"Remember your coffee from before the interview?"

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TailsFangirl03

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"haha..I may have put a little something in it."

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jez4prez said: "Me: “There is no pen. Do you believe in fate, Neo?”

shawerma_sauce replied: "Did he buy the Red pen or the Blue pen from you?"

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Rach

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How is this not higher up?!

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"I’m not gonna sell you this pen. I’m going to give it to you and sell you the paper. Don’t sell an object, sell a subscription."

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kitten levels tokyo

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“You were born with free lungs. I’m just going to sell you a subscription to the air that goes in your lungs.”

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"I sold a guy a truck, about a week later he interviewed me for a job (didn't know it would be the same guy) he asked me the pen question, paused and said "we did that last week" and moved on."

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Shyla Bouche

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I like this one!

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"A very very attractive candidate actually once seductively tried to do the whole "S*xy Pen Sale" thing.

She was promptly told to leave the interview as it was not appropriate. Kudos to the hiring HR rep actually."

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Mark

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Sex sells this is true but in saying that sex only buys you what you want, not what you need. Ergo she needed thr job and sex didn't buy it. Want food? Sex gets you a free meal (its called dating). Want a car? A super daddy will buy it for you? Want the rent payed? A guy will help you. Need surgery or to help a family member? You need toearn money for those. Sex will not get those because those are what you need. Infact if every guy stopped thinking with thier little man sex wouldnt even get what you want but ah most guys don't think that way (i am a happily married guy by the way)

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"I did this once. I didn’t take it seriously at all, since it was for selling advertising on the eighth ranked country station in a small liberal town. Instead of selling the guy a pen, I got him interested in buying a pontoon boat (as he mentioned having a bass boat earlier in the interview). He was like, “sell me this pen”, and I said, “why? Are you in the market for a pen right now? Is that a problem you’re having a hard time solving yourself?” And then we started talking about free time and hobbies.

It totally worked, and I don’t know how, and I also didn’t care because that job s*cked."

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TailsFangirl03

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vacuum cleaners suck up air

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"Be more creative with your interview questions."

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SwaggermusPrime said: "Sorry this is not my pen selling it would be a crime under (local law)."

SinkTube replied: "Interviewer to self: "Unwilling to commit crimes on our behalf. Mark for rejection."

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"Not me, but a former sales manager was a d***hebag who prided himself on being the greatest and the only one who knew everything about sales and tech (he didn't, hence the word "former"). He was trying to find a new salesperson but rejected nearly every resume I put in front of him for nitpicky bullsh*t until one day he announced that he'd found the perfect candidate and was bringing him in for a formal interview but he was pretty sure he was going to hire him on the spot. He kept going on and on about how this guy was perfect and why couldn't we find him someone like this and blah blah blah. Whatever, fine, just get it done. He bought the guy in, sat him down and said "sell me this pen." The guy picked up the pen, handed it back and said "I don't play pen games." Then he walked out and we never heard or saw him again."

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kitten levels tokyo

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This sounds like the best way to handle the pen part of the interview.

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votemarvel said: "I asked "may I see it?" I then put it in my pocket. He asked for the pen back and I tried to charge him £10 for it. I didn't get the job or get to keep the pen."

Commenter replied: "Can I get the pen back?"
"What pen?"

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Sheila McKnight

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I'd hire you for this. Neurodivergent af and I love it...

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SheriffLobo3 said: "I would tell them that I had already created a website to purchase pens called Pen Island. And would encourage them to visit Pen Island.com"

shawerma_sauce replied: "You sumb*tch I actually fell for that..."

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Howaboutno

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The funniest part about this is that that is an actual domain that someone spent actual human dollars on for the purpose of selling pens

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"I heard it being asked at a group interview by the new lady from HR... I shot her a "wtf" look she asked a different question instead."

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Tucker Cahooter

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Hopefully not the "If you were a tree what type of tree would you be?" one

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JesusIsMyHotRod said: "I asked them "Why? You already bought it." They told me I had to prove my salesmanship skills. So I said "Why? You already paid for it. Clearly the product speaks for itself. Just like our product does."I got the job. But it turns out I was actually interviewing to be a janitor and they got me confused with someone else."

shawerma_sauce riplied: "Obviously you were overqualified."

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Repres3nt2 said: "I said “What do you need a pen for?” Best sales strategy is to ask questions before you make your approach."

PaulClarkLoadletter replied: "It must be pretty great if you want it. I don’t know if I even want to sell it now. I think I’m going to keep it."

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"I have been in sales for about 30 years. Never been asked that question but if they did, I would get up and walk out. I don’t like gimmicks. Anyone asking that kind of question during a job interview doesn’t sound like a job I would want. It’s amateurish."

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Charles Cunningham

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I was once told by the owner of a carpet store in an interview, "Prove that you can sell by trying to sell me my very own shirt." I said, "Absolutely. Please hand me your shirt" He took off his shirt and handed it to me. Then I said, "Your multi-million dollar hotel owner customer is coming in the front door and you don't have your shirt because you just gave it to me. How much is my used shirt that I now have in my hand worth to you." He said, "Nothing, I said, "Your biggest potential carpet sale of the year customer is coming and you are going to greet them with no shirt on, really how much is this worth to you?" He said, "If that was a true scenario it would be worth everything in my wallet." I said how much is in your wallet?" He looked inside and said "I only have $,2000 in my wallet today because my wife just took the rest to go shopping. I said "Sold, and took his $2,000 and handed him back his shirt." I put the $2,000 in my own pocket and said, "Thank you for my hiring bonus!"

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“You wanna see a magic trick?”

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WindySwede

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"Ta-da"

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""I saw Wolf of Wall Street too. Job please."

or

"...I'm going to need you to sell me on the rest of this interview.""

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legsjustwannahaverun said: "I don't have to, you already
bought it. I got the job. "

boredcircuits replied: "The real trick is making people pay for something they already own. Like BMW having a subscription service to use the heated seats."

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kitten levels tokyo

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Sales department’s dreams = consumer’s nightmares.

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"Not a pen, but... I was in a group interview for my first job in high school, the interviewer looks at me and gestures to a large fake potted plant decoration next to where we were sitting and said “Sell this to me.” I was caught off guard and froze so we all sat there in silence for a few seconds until I finally just blurted out the first thing that came to mind;

“...Wanna buy a plant?”

I’ve been with the company going on 5 years now."

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Rach

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Sales 100

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"I once had a job of a sh*tty office supply company - you know the one - where it was our literal job to sell pens to people AND try to up sell them on stupid sh*t they didn’t need/or want.

It was all randomized and scripted though as to what it would try to upsell them on.

“I see you’ve bought a bulk package of 100 Bic Pens today (for like $8.99)...Would you like to purchase 4 micro-point, gel ink, 4-colour pack of pens for $11.99?”

It was absolutely ridiculous. I almost always refused to do it, because it was stupid and the customers generally appreciated the fact I wasn’t reading them some pre-scripted bullsh*t on some garbage they didn’t want/need.

My stats were fantastic, but because I didn’t do the upsell bullsh*t, I was eventually fired...

And not because of that, they decided one day I had a customer on hold too long (4-6 minutes) while trying to find them an answer to their question that required me to get up from my “desk” (cube), track down my supervisor who then had to track down the manager...

F*ck that place."

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"I leave.

I'm in sales and anybody that thinks this question has any value past 1995 isn't someone worth working for."

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ReadyThor said: "So you entrust me to sell you this pen?

Yes.

Do you want this pen for $5?

No.

*puts pen in pocket and walks out*"

obscureferences replied:
"$2? 50c? How about I give you a dollar to take it, because if you don't buy this pen I'm out of a job."

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taggart52 said: "I made it emotional. Through some internet research (corporate people put everything on LinkedIn) I learned that his high school age daughter was really into horses. I asked him to picture himself writing a check with this pen for a perfect saddle for his daughter while she looked on in admiration and think of all the hard work and sacrifice they had both made to make that happen. And told him that now whenever he looked at that pen he would remember that feeling.

Was told later that the only part of that whole conversation that mattered was I did my research before hand and was able to use it on the fly. Turns out his daughter is a spoiled brat and he could care less about another saddle."

shawerma_sauce replied: "I'm pretty sure your "Research" is considered (Stalking), but if you got the job, then that's what matters."

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kitten levels tokyo

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I’m pretty sure reading something that a person voluntarily posted on a public forum is not stalking.

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AskMeHowsItGoing said: "Sign this piece of papers."

User No 2 replied: "I can't, I don't have a pen. Ohhh.....!"

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"I was asked a variation of this question during an interview at Radio Shack.

It wasn't "Sell me this pen," though; it was "Sell me a cellphone plan."

My entire response was more or less on-the-fly bullsh*t, so I don't remember what my exact words were. Basically, though, here's what I said:

"No. I'm not going to try to up-sell you... but I am going to tell you the truth: A growing number of your friends, your family, and your coworkers have cellphones, and they're adapting to a world wherein everyone is reachable at all times. Moreover, they're increasingly communicating by way of text messages, and if you can't send and receive those, you're going to end up missing out. Loved ones might worry when they can't get ahold of you, employers might pass you over for promotions, and you might be the last to know when something big is happening.

"Now, I don't know you. I don't know what your needs are. It would be dishonest of me to say that you have to sign up for a cellphone plan today, so I'm not going to try to sell you one. At the same time, though, I'd like to help you with those needs, and if you think that you'd like to keep in touch with the people in your life, then I'd be happy to help you."

The eyes of the guy interviewing me kind of glazed over while I was going through all of that. Afterward, he halfheartedly said "Yeah, okay, so, it sounds like you're a good salesman. How do you feel about working weekends?"

I was initially excited to accept the job, but after I thought back over my above-described spiel, I realized that I wouldn't feel good about hoodwinking people into purchases. After all, up-selling from behind a veil is still up-selling, and it wasn't something that I wanted to do.

TL;DR: I "sold him the pen" by pretending that I was refusing to."

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"Literally quit the interview.

The first reason beeing, that I did apply for a position, which should not have a lot to do with sales and they kept pushing this "how would you sell people stuff" since the beginning of the interview. So not what I was looking for.

Second reason: I assume you are not qualified to hold interviews, if you only copy paste standard stuff, that is outdated already and pretty much a meme. I also assume it won't be different working for a company like this. Just random stuff they found on "employee management for dummies" and only adopted, because it's written in a book. Not a thought if it fits for their employees or company, but Prof. Dr. very important businessman said it so it must be the only way to manage a company."

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CDC_ said: "But sir, I applied to be a janitor."

SPP_TheChoiceForMe replied: “Look here sonny, sales isn’t just a job it’s a way of life!”

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harrison_wintergreen said: "Tell them the pen s*cks because it's probably some Bic piece of cr*p, and offer to sell my Uniball JetStream, which is the best lower-price pen on the market."

Commenter replied: "See, you get the job because you're a person of distinction, going with the Uniball."

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TailsFangirl03

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"I was once at a job fair where this wasn't even attached to an interview, it was more like an open-mic night kind of thing.

I skipped it.

On another job, a customer told me that my describing my dislike of upselling was a bonding experience with the customer (who doesn't want to be upsold) and thus a really slick sales tactic.

He didn't seem mad. So, either sales is really 12th-dimensional zen chess and I accidentally made a good play or he was just messing with me. I don't know."

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"Take the pen and package it with thousands of other pens. Sell the package as a security to a pen broker."

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"Oh, I just looked at it, tried writing with it, clicked it a few times, bounced it on the button and then tossed it at the trash bin.

"You don't want that pen." pulled out my own "You want this pen." and I laid it on the table, when they reached for it I snatched it away and did all the things again but showed that it didn't make any grinding noises, wrote fluently with no force at all, bounced beautifully on its much shorter button when retracted.

Then I let them write with it.

I'm a hardware technologist at my base, I know machines and manufacture practices.

He asked where to get the pen."

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"I thought the interviewer was joking because I was a teenager applying for position at a fast food restaurant. So I (jokingly) hammed it up like a cheesy commercial, but the interviewer never laughed or smiled and that's when I realized they were serious.

Long story short, it was one of the most awkward interviews I've done, but I got the job anyway."

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kitten levels tokyo

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Fast food job… I think interviewers do this just so they can brag about it on LinkedIn.

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"I took it home with me. Later, when the interviewer phoned me and asked for it back, I said "£50 and its yours.""

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mozgw4 said: "You're not my market. I can get more elsewhere. I'll keep it for now, thanks."

Commenter replied: "Instantly hired."

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"#1 - I'm not interviewing to be a salesman, asking me to sell you a pen would be a total waste of my skills and talents. #2 - If you are in the habit of buying things which YOU already own, I'm afraid to know what other poor business decisions you make on a daily basis.

Either way, I'm surprised the company isn't circling the drain already, no wonder you hiring."

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"What's my commission? Zero? F*ck you, sell it yourself."

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"It was soo awkward! Interviewed for position in call centre and I was like "Well you should buy this pen, cause it's blue and that is very nice colour. Also you can see from shape, that you can write very fast with it..." Then I realized how stupid those sentences sound and my mind went blank. Interviewer waited like at least half a minute, if I somehow continued talking, which was neverending nerve-wracking moment, then he cut it.

I got the job and then was fired week after, because I just couldn't sell people sh*t they didn't need or want."

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"I used to work the tech side of sales. My job was to demonstrate the software, consult, help with sizing and installation, stuff like that. I never got the question in a real interview, but in one of our training sessions. Leader: Sell me this pen. Me: ok, this is a nice pen and it is pretty good for the job. Let’s use it to design a system. (Make some drawings and purposely spell something wrong everywhere). Looks, good, let’s build it. Oh crap, we need to fix the spelling of this word, it is everywhere. If you use this pen, you have to start over, but if you had used (our product) you would fix it once and move on. I know you wanted me to sell you a pen, but I’m here for the long hall. I’m not going to give you something you don’t need, even if it will get me a big commission check. That isn’t how I do business.

My team mates laughed, my boss laughed, my client exec took me out for drinks. The trainer was pissed."

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"I asked if they had another pen, they said no.

I pointed out the papers in front of them that they'd be diligently writing and signing on and that without a pen their job just became impossible.

I then offered to sell them my pen instead, it had more ink and a rubber grip.

It was customer service and sales for a telecomm and my bonus checks from sales were chunky."

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"If someone asked me that in a job interview I'd get up and walk out on the motherf*cking spot. If you watched that movie and came away with the conclusions that Jordan Belfort is an awesome salesman then I definitely do not want you as a boss."

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"I was asked this question during a group interview for a front desk job at my universities rec center.

I asked them if there was any type of sales work in the job description and they said no.

So I just got up and walked away. Not gonna deal with that bs."

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"I haven’t been asked but I would take the pen.

Ask them if they had a pen. Which they now do not.

“Ah ok, you hace anything important going on today?”

Inevitably they say yes.

“Wow sure sounds like you might need to take some notes for that”....

I have this pen but it’s not for sale.

Good luck!

Walk out.

Free pen.

Hooray!"

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"49.99 and it's yours. All the other guys ask 50."

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"“Do me a favor and write your name down right there.” Noticing he needs the pen, exactly, supply and demand."

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"During a interview for an electronic sales job the interviewer asked me to take home a fairly expensive floor model of blue-ray player and come back the next day with a sales pitch.

It was very strange to put trust in me as he had just met me in the interview 5 minutes ago.

I came back the next day with a bunch of product knowledge and landed the job. Worked there for several years and often times the boss would send us home with cool new electronics to try out (sometimes even keep!).

It was a rewarding place to work and also a great way to get product experienced sales staff.

Ran out of business by best buy unfortunately."

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"Not quite the same, but I was filling out an application for a job once when the owner came back where I was and said “if you can name the song on the radio right now, you can have the job.”

I was able to name it and started at five that night."

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kitten levels tokyo

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Translation: there really are no qualifications for this job.

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"As an engineer, I've never had this question asked of me. That's because engineers aren't good with people, so you have a people person like Tom Smykowski to sell the pen."

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kitten levels tokyo

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Yay for engineers!

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"I failed tbh but I was taken from a fast food joint and then thrown in to sales."

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"In this pen is a USB drive with the footage of what you were doing with that frog."

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"Sir or ma’am, I’ve never thought that small. How can me or you make money if my ambition was limited to a onetime sale of a $2 pen? My sales model is to establish a relationship, understand your needs and sell you a goddamn building."

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"Stood up and f*cked off out of there. It was a job for truck driving. What a c*nt."

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"You're not my market. I can get more elsewhere. I'll keep it for now, thanks."

mozgw4 Report

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"I said "Get your own pen.""

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"I would do a stock market chant while beating my chest then stand up yell "I'm not f*cking leaving"!

"Tootsie"?"

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