Most people disagree and fight sometimes; that's just the nature of human relationships. But, unlike arguing with a friend, conflicts with in-laws have more layers. It's not just about you and your piece; you can't just walk away from the relationship if you're not happy. There's your partner, for whom the in-laws might be among the most important people in their life.

All unhappy families are unhappy in their own way, as Tolstoy wrote. And the things people disagree with their in-laws about differ from person to person. Still, in the Newsweek survey, most (31%) Americans say they mostly argue with their in-laws about politics. 22% also say they fight about lifestyle choices, and 21% clash when it comes to something concerning their partners.

It also depends on what kind of in-law you are dealing with. Given the anecdotal evidence from popular culture and media, you'd think that mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law are at each other's throats all the time. And research shows that DILs feel more in-law-related stress than sons-in-law.

A 2012 study showed another interesting trend. It appears that sons-in-law have it easier, as they report having way better relationships with both their MILs and their FILs. Women rate their relationships with their in-laws at the same level. Men say their relationships with their MIL are three times as good as they are for women. What's more, they claim to get along with their FILs even better.

The situation with MILs and FILs gets even worse when kids come into the picture. As a Gottman Method couples therapist for over 25 years, Dr. Suzanne Burger explained to Fatherly, daughters-in-law are more likely to be the victims of their MILs, as they don't shy away from telling them how to be better mothers. And research backs this up, as over 30% of moms say they disagree with their MILs about parenting.

Professor Gretchen Perry, author of "In-Law Relationships in Evolutionary Perspective: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly", suggests there are historical reasons why mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law generally seem to disagree so much. Back in the day, the married woman would come to live with her husband, to a house where the mother-in-law was in charge of the household.

The daughter-in-law would be in a completely new environment, separated from her family and the people who protect her. The mother-in-law, naturally, would have her son's and the household's best interest at heart, perhaps exerting more control than needed. And the criticism, of course, would be directed at the new wife. This might just be the origin of the MIL-DIL relationship trope.

In-laws, especially grandparents, often choose to violate the boundaries of a young family. They may come to visit unannounced, guilt-trip when the couple doesn't come for family events, share personal details about the family's life with others, criticize their values, and not respect it when they're told "no". Experts say that it's possible to avoid all these if you set firm boundaries, but how can people do that, exactly?

Therapist Lauren Auwood emphasizes how boundaries without consequences are merely suggestions. For example, if an in-law criticizes a parenting style, the couple needs to present a united front. That reinforces their authority as parents. If they're visiting or calling too often, decide how often you'll communicate (whether in person, on the phone, through email, or other) and stick to it. Kindly inform the in-laws that if they drop by unannounced, you will not be opening the door.

Boundaries with in-laws can also be very different depending on your culture. Perinatal therapist Dr. Zann explains that for people of color, the word 'boundaries' might sound like rejection and disrespect toward their community values.

"Consider not calling it a boundary'. Using psychology/therapy speak may be confusing, especially for those from immigrant backgrounds or non-western cultures," Dr. Zann points out. "Express your needs, of course, but do it in a way that your family will understand."

All this talk about toxic in-laws might make you think that all in-law relationships are doomed. But there's research that proves relationships with in-laws can be nice. A 2021 survey of American women revealed that 51% of daughters-in-law are happy with their relationships with the MIL. Three-quarters of mothers-in-law also say they have a very good relationship with their DIL.

What about your relationships with your in-laws, Pandas? Is there any drama happening in your family you think is worth sharing with other Pandas? Let us know in the comments below! And if you're up for more posts about horrible in-laws, head over here and facepalm at these infuriating pics.