Child’s Instincts Save Her From A Disturbing Surveilanced Sleepover, Her Mom Loses It
Interview With ExpertAttending sleepovers as a kid is a rite of passage. Being able to spend all night gossiping with friends, giggling under a blanket fort and watching movies that Mom and Dad might not approve of is a great way to bond with friends and make lifelong memories.
But when you’re a parent, you might feel some hesitation about sending your little ones off to another house for the night. And sadly, sleepovers can sometimes go awry. One mom recently reached out to Reddit detailing a concerning experience her daughter had at a friend’s house, as well as why she’ll never let her spend the night at another family’s home ever again. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as a conversation with parenting expert Amy Morrison of Pregnant Chicken.
Sleepovers are a great way for kids to bond with their friends
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But this mom has banned her daughter from attending any more after a creepy experience she had at a friend’s house
Image credits: Yosuke Ota / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: moooonstone
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“Cameras in bedrooms can lead to feelings of mistrust, and kids may feel less secure or anxious if they know they are constantly being watched”
It’s natural for parents to want to keep an eye on their kids. It comes from a place of love and wanting to ensure that their children are safe and sound at all times. That’s why many moms and dads would prefer to keep their little ones at home, rather than dropping them off at a friend’s house or letting them roam around the mall without adult supervision.
But to what extent should parents be allowed to surveil their kids? It’s common for families to have security cameras in their homes to prevent theft and keep an eye on what happens on their property. But monitoring children’s bedrooms might be taking security a bit too far.
To find out more about this situation, we got in touch with parenting expert Amy Morrison of Pregnant Chicken.
“I’m sure there are situations where a camera might be warranted – a medical condition, sleepwalking, etc. – but children, especially as they grow older, deserve a level of privacy in their personal spaces,” Amy shared.
“Cameras in bedrooms can lead to feelings of mistrust, and kids may feel less secure or anxious if they know they are constantly being watched. Children should be able to develop a sense of autonomy and trust without feeling monitored,” the expert explained.
So what should a parent do if they find out their child has been monitored through a security camera at a friend’s house?
“They should first have an open conversation with their child to understand what happened and their feelings about the situation,” Amy says. “Any communication with the friend’s parents expressing privacy concerns should be respectful until you fully understand the situation – you don’t want to go off on these parents only to find out the cameras were pointed into the backyard for security purposes.”
“Depending on the parents’ response, it may be necessary to reevaluate the friendship or set boundaries for future visits. The main thing is to make sure your child knows they can always speak up about what makes them comfortable,” the expert added.
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
“Children, especially as they grow older, deserve a level of privacy in their personal spaces”
According to Reolink, it’s usually not illegal to put cameras in a child’s room, as homeowners are allowed to install cameras on their property. And there are some legitimate reasons why moms and dads might need to keep an eye on their kids.
For example, if you have a baby, it’s expected to have a baby monitor with a camera in their nursery. Some parents also like to have nanny cams on when their child is left with a babysitter, or if your kid has a health issue that means they need essentially constant supervision, a camera might be helpful.
However, it may be illegal to place cameras in areas that will encroach on the privacy of children. There is absolutely no need to have a camera watching your kids in the bathroom, where they change or anywhere else that would be considered an invasion of privacy.
This is not only an issue because of what the parents will see on camera but also because of the security risks and how it may impact the child. Plus, the recordings from these cameras must be stored somewhere. And even if parents never intend to show the footage to anyone, it’s scary to imagine what people might get their hands on it if the security company is hacked or the parents’ account becomes compromised.
It’s key for parents to find a balance between supervising their children and allowing them privacy, so they can build and maintain a healthy relationship. They should make it clear that monitoring their kids comes from a place of love, to keep them safe from harm, but they must also understand that they can’t watch every move their kids make. Moms and dads should trust their children to make their own decisions, especially as they grow into adolescents.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation, pandas. Do you think this mother was right for calling out the family that had a security camera in their daughter’s room? Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing security cameras in children’s rooms right here.
Readers were quick to share their concerns about the situation, as well as advice for the mother
Later, the mom shared an update after speaking to the other mothers involved
Image credits: Lorena Villarreal / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Obi Onyeador / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: moooonstone
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Your daughter is incredible. That thing with retaining her cool AND doing the "diplomatic" thing of putting her shirt over it was beyond anything I would have dreamt a child was capable of. That young lady is going to go far! I'd just recommend that she simply loudly repeat her experience and the other children (the daughter of the house included) can be informed of this reinforced reality (against the mother's denials) and they can take it from there. Children aren't stupid and given just a bit of support against gaslighting, can figure out their own solutions.
I'm going to take a leaf out of this lady's book and talk to my daughter about a safe word! Brilliant idea and great parenting.
Load More Replies...Am I reading it right, the sleepover-mom would've placed OP's daughter in another room if she had expressed discomfort over the camera? Not unplugging the camera, not removing it but rather moving OP's daughter. That is creepy as f**k.
Yes. And she also lied saying "Oh I haven't thought about it in years." The little girl not only asked about the camera but was told it was off. She noticed a light and then put a shirt over it. Then mom came in and removed the shirt. So not only was the camera on but she was watching it in real time or how else would she know it was covered? Now she told OP that that last part didn't happen but I absolutely believe the litte girl. Why would she call to go home if the mom hadn't removed the shirt from the camera. Also saying they would put the child in a separate room rather than turning off a camera that they haven't thought about in years and supposedly only use for security while they are both home! No...something smells rotten. They have already committed a crime. Video surveillance of a child undressing is a crime and I hope the other mom goes to the authorities.
Load More Replies...Exterior cameras would totally cover the concern about the daughter's room being over the garage. 🚩She called Op's daughter a liar.🚩 Tell the other mom, and tell the COPS.
If this is in the US, Canada, EU or UK this is illegal, and you should report it to the police. Probably many other countries as well. It's illegal to film anyone in the bedroom/bathroom/areas where there is an expectation of privacy without permission, and because she's eleven, that's a while other level of bad. Her own child is one thing, if she can make a case that it was for safety, but someone else's child without telling them? Not permitted. Beyond legal things, this sounds like an abusive household and OP shouldn't let her daughter go over there. But make a complaint, even if nothing comes of it, there will be a record so when allegations of abuse come up later they will be taken more seriously.
There's no under reacting to someone recording two 11 yo girls getting ready for bed and sleeping. This is a huge deal. So glad the daughter recognised she was being filmed and knew it was wrong.
Load More Replies...The other mom is lying... Having the camera and "forgetting" about it yet saying it was needed because of the garage access and then removing the tshirt. Nope she's trying to cover something up. Even if she's just a helicopter mom and it's not for any dark reason she is still lying. I wouldn't trust her. Is there's garage access why not close it up? this kid is too old to be watched with a camera in a private area.
Yeah how does she explain watching the video surveillance of the girls? She said OPs daughter was lying. Who am I gonna believe...and 11 year old with the wherewithal to notice a hidden camera and take herself out of that situation or a mom who didn't think anything of having a camera on 3 11 year old girls at a sleepover. Plus if not having the camera in there wasn't a big deal why wouldn't they remove the camera rather than have the one child move to another room..while still recording her own daughter and someone else's child!? No no no.
Load More Replies...The fact that her friend's mum called the OP's daughter a LIAR is also a red flag, re: the shirt must have fallen off- or she could be evasive-lying as it said 'Parent', not specified, so could have been the dad, who was also there? I'm surprised the OP didn't pull her up about that. I can't think of any reason for cameras in a bedroom - except for serious medical issues - for giving your kids no privacy. As for the garage, put the camera on the OUTSIDE of the connecting door (you can get ones that warn you of motion detection). I'm hoping that the other girl's parents took it further (the lying & vid of their daughter undressing). I certainly would.
If I had a camera in my childs room for medical reasons I would inform the parent with the child present. to ensure safty and trust. I would tell that they can not be changing changing clothes in that room but to use the bathroom . I would be 1000 percent transparent
Should have been reported to police immediately, they would have obtained a warrant, showed up at the house and demanded access to the security cameras and any recorded footage. This is lewd voyeurism on a minor and is illegal, the parent coming in the room to remove the t-shirt was a massive red flag on something really shady going on. The law needs to be involved.
My guess is child abuse/sexual abuse by one, the other, or both parents.
And any of those videos could be being provided to who know how many p e d o philes online. ANY of the children ever in that house could have images of them online and never know. They could be targeted and stalked without ever knowing they were exposed online, clothed or not. F*ckin sick. I'd go to the cops immediately. Likely parent tried to erase all evidence after OP's kid left.
Load More Replies...If my daughter said the mom came in and removed the shirt from the camera, I would believe her. Mom is lying, because there would no longer have been a reason for her to feel so uncomfortable if she hadn't come in to uncover them. You have a smart daughter, who can obviously think for herself.
Your daughter is incredible. That thing with retaining her cool AND doing the "diplomatic" thing of putting her shirt over it was beyond anything I would have dreamt a child was capable of. That young lady is going to go far! I'd just recommend that she simply loudly repeat her experience and the other children (the daughter of the house included) can be informed of this reinforced reality (against the mother's denials) and they can take it from there. Children aren't stupid and given just a bit of support against gaslighting, can figure out their own solutions.
I'm going to take a leaf out of this lady's book and talk to my daughter about a safe word! Brilliant idea and great parenting.
Load More Replies...Am I reading it right, the sleepover-mom would've placed OP's daughter in another room if she had expressed discomfort over the camera? Not unplugging the camera, not removing it but rather moving OP's daughter. That is creepy as f**k.
Yes. And she also lied saying "Oh I haven't thought about it in years." The little girl not only asked about the camera but was told it was off. She noticed a light and then put a shirt over it. Then mom came in and removed the shirt. So not only was the camera on but she was watching it in real time or how else would she know it was covered? Now she told OP that that last part didn't happen but I absolutely believe the litte girl. Why would she call to go home if the mom hadn't removed the shirt from the camera. Also saying they would put the child in a separate room rather than turning off a camera that they haven't thought about in years and supposedly only use for security while they are both home! No...something smells rotten. They have already committed a crime. Video surveillance of a child undressing is a crime and I hope the other mom goes to the authorities.
Load More Replies...Exterior cameras would totally cover the concern about the daughter's room being over the garage. 🚩She called Op's daughter a liar.🚩 Tell the other mom, and tell the COPS.
If this is in the US, Canada, EU or UK this is illegal, and you should report it to the police. Probably many other countries as well. It's illegal to film anyone in the bedroom/bathroom/areas where there is an expectation of privacy without permission, and because she's eleven, that's a while other level of bad. Her own child is one thing, if she can make a case that it was for safety, but someone else's child without telling them? Not permitted. Beyond legal things, this sounds like an abusive household and OP shouldn't let her daughter go over there. But make a complaint, even if nothing comes of it, there will be a record so when allegations of abuse come up later they will be taken more seriously.
There's no under reacting to someone recording two 11 yo girls getting ready for bed and sleeping. This is a huge deal. So glad the daughter recognised she was being filmed and knew it was wrong.
Load More Replies...The other mom is lying... Having the camera and "forgetting" about it yet saying it was needed because of the garage access and then removing the tshirt. Nope she's trying to cover something up. Even if she's just a helicopter mom and it's not for any dark reason she is still lying. I wouldn't trust her. Is there's garage access why not close it up? this kid is too old to be watched with a camera in a private area.
Yeah how does she explain watching the video surveillance of the girls? She said OPs daughter was lying. Who am I gonna believe...and 11 year old with the wherewithal to notice a hidden camera and take herself out of that situation or a mom who didn't think anything of having a camera on 3 11 year old girls at a sleepover. Plus if not having the camera in there wasn't a big deal why wouldn't they remove the camera rather than have the one child move to another room..while still recording her own daughter and someone else's child!? No no no.
Load More Replies...The fact that her friend's mum called the OP's daughter a LIAR is also a red flag, re: the shirt must have fallen off- or she could be evasive-lying as it said 'Parent', not specified, so could have been the dad, who was also there? I'm surprised the OP didn't pull her up about that. I can't think of any reason for cameras in a bedroom - except for serious medical issues - for giving your kids no privacy. As for the garage, put the camera on the OUTSIDE of the connecting door (you can get ones that warn you of motion detection). I'm hoping that the other girl's parents took it further (the lying & vid of their daughter undressing). I certainly would.
If I had a camera in my childs room for medical reasons I would inform the parent with the child present. to ensure safty and trust. I would tell that they can not be changing changing clothes in that room but to use the bathroom . I would be 1000 percent transparent
Should have been reported to police immediately, they would have obtained a warrant, showed up at the house and demanded access to the security cameras and any recorded footage. This is lewd voyeurism on a minor and is illegal, the parent coming in the room to remove the t-shirt was a massive red flag on something really shady going on. The law needs to be involved.
My guess is child abuse/sexual abuse by one, the other, or both parents.
And any of those videos could be being provided to who know how many p e d o philes online. ANY of the children ever in that house could have images of them online and never know. They could be targeted and stalked without ever knowing they were exposed online, clothed or not. F*ckin sick. I'd go to the cops immediately. Likely parent tried to erase all evidence after OP's kid left.
Load More Replies...If my daughter said the mom came in and removed the shirt from the camera, I would believe her. Mom is lying, because there would no longer have been a reason for her to feel so uncomfortable if she hadn't come in to uncover them. You have a smart daughter, who can obviously think for herself.
















































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