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30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud I know exactly the rules for helping the children in my public education classroom but I still bring cold kids coats, hungry kids food, kids with terrible shoes better shoes, and hugs/long conversations for any child that asks. If any admin is pissed I’m giving a apple and a sandwich to a kid, I claim ignorance, the school system is so strained they won’t fire me so I am doing what I can during this time.

Honey_Society , Ben Wicks Report

Final score:

511points

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UpQuarkDownQuark 2 years ago

What the f**k is wrong with a world in which giving a child food or warm clothing is something you have to do in secret?!!!

319points

Jo Johannsen 2 years ago

Ditto with the homeless. Unconscionable.

37points

Marco Hub-Dub 2 years ago (edited)

The liability. The office of education in a county where I was a student teacher was endlessly sued for a litany of “issues” parents had with the handouts. One was over apparent poisoning from a sandwich that had mayo. It was made the same day it was given to the child. The parents claimed it sat in a backpack and they fed it to their younger child after finding it in said bag over a month later. That child apparently got sick and was hospitalized. Who even knows if the sandwich in question had anything to do with the illness and hospitalization. I can think of seven other similar suits in the one semester I was there.

17points

ChickyChicky 2 years ago

Giving kids gifts can be a way to groom them for sexual abuse. "Oh I was only helping because they needed help!" Also underprivileged children are sexually abused at higher rates. If kids are cold and hungry, start a coat/clothing closet at the school that kids can choose from, and a free snack program. Don't blame the people put in charge of protecting kids, blame the nasty child abusers who push boundaries and harm kids.

14points

Wilko Lunenburg 2 years ago

That problem is called "USA".

6points

Kishibe Angelo 2 years ago

apparently so because if an adult is doing it they are titled a creep or parents get pissed off because they care more about their reputation

3points

Alma Muminovic 2 years ago

I guess they dont wanna risk getting sued. 🙄 profits over everything

2points

Twodogsandapicnictable 2 years ago

I think the problem is giving one kid something extra and not another. Favoritism can have a horrible effect on the children not favored.

2points

John Baker 2 years ago

Parents are assholes. Plain and simple.

2points

BasedWang 2 years ago

parents

1point

Devil's Advocate 2 years ago

America, not "the world"

1point

Suzanne Haigh 2 years ago

Not the world as such but USA in the 'developed' world

0points

Vanities 2 years ago

No where. This is a silly post.

0points

John L 2 years ago

These days, even being helpful to a child can be misconstrued, and you can end up a felon. The justice system (at least in the US) isn't about truth...it's about justice. Never forget and confuse the two.

0points

Christopher Duffy 2 years ago

The US is not the world.

0points

WilvanderHeijden 2 years ago

Sadly, it's because of how the minds of the authorities work. If a teacher cares for a child they can abuse their position to "do unspeakable things". So to save the child from " terrors worse than death" teachers are not allowed to feed or cloth them.

-1point

Dave 2 years ago

Only in the greatest country in the world.

-2points

Jane Smith 2 years ago

Because the kids who aren't struggling will be left out and complain to their parents who then complain to the school.

-3points

Lovin' Life 2 years ago

You are such a kind soul. I don't understand why this act of kindness should be a problem. I just don't get it. What is wrong with helping those in need?

12points

Mermaid Elle-Jaye 2 years ago (edited)

This is awesome they do this. My mum couldn’t afford warm uniform gear when I was a kid, and I froze going to school in -1 to 4•c temperatures. She scraped some coins together one year and got me an op shop /thrift jacket and the school confiscated it and my track pants for not being uniform code etc. so I just froze. I hate schools that punish poor kids. (This was also a rural public school.)

5points

Kai David 2 years ago

I was a teacher for 4 years. Every Monday, spent most of the day feeding starving kids, helping kids wash themselves clean. I would host two major partie/fundraiser a year, having hundreds of gay friends, was a major turn out. Entrance fee was new Donating wintre gear, shoes, school supplies, and cash for my claßroom.

3points

K Witmer 2 years ago

Thomas Jefferson said if a law or a rule goes against humanity or doesn't make sense you have every right to disobey it. The same as not being able to bring food or water to voters that stand outside for 10 hrs in the sun to vote for the president they choose. The same as the law that says you can't share water w your neighbor if they don't have access to any. Are you supposed to stand by and watch people suffer in case you'll be arrested or fired?? Wtf

2points

BusLady 2 years ago

Trust me, these children will remember you all of their lives.

2points

T'Mar of Vulcan 2 years ago

We had a kid who didn't bring a jersey in autumn on a day when it was extremely cold (for a South African; everything is relative - it wasn't below freezing). The Afrikaans teacher, a lady who gets very cold and always has a blanket with her, gave him her blanket to use. Looked odd to see a kid with a blanket on but at least he was smiling. (I keep a stash of cereal bars in my cupboard for kids who forget or don't bring their lunch.)

2points

Rei 2 years ago

And yet another hero!

2points

A.d. Johnson 2 years ago

Doing what needs to be done. Bless you.

2points

Eiram 2 years ago

I did the same thing. I was a para in an elementary school and i made a drama program and hugged any kid who wanted it.

2points

Pam Page 2 years ago

In the school where I taught (retired) children are required to throw away their unopened milk, juice, cereal, etc. (you read that correctly). I had the children put their throwaways discretely into my tote and I stored them in my classroom for "hunger" emergencies. It was an absurd rule and the kiddos knew it.

1point

Bina Cobbler 2 years ago

I'm a teacher, too, and I really don't understand it. Is it actually against the rules to help out kids? Why? The only reason I could possibly think of is grooming, and if that is the reason, then the rule makers' grasp on reality is seriously broken. Maybe you should do a better job of weeding out groomers in the first place, instead of suspecting the good-hearted, generous and kind majority of educators who can't stand by watching a kid suffer.

1point

Jennifer Norton 2 years ago

the school system in the USA is broken. The human element has been removed and they expect teachers to act like emotionaless robots.

1point

Brittany Toribio 2 years ago

Every "system" in the US is broken.

1point

Deborah Towns 2 years ago

You are my hero!

0points

Linda Gilliam 2 years ago

Sir or ma'am, you are a wonderful person and you have a heart full of love and compassion. PLEASE, continue doing what you're doing. You don't realize how loved you're making those children feel. I would help you in a heartbeat if I knew where you were located. Bless you for all you do.

0points

Linda Gilliam 2 years ago

You're a beautiful human with a heart of gold. Thank you for doing what you do for the less fortunate children. If I knew you, I would help you help these kids.

0points

Ashley Shaffer 2 years ago

Girl. Amen. I do the same thing. Because some people are too proud to ask for help. Their kids suffer because of it. One day it blew up in my face though when a parent got angry at me for giving her kid a pair of awesome shoes. He needed new shoes soooo bad. He had holes in the soles. She didn't care and yelled at me. He never wore the shoes again, but she did buy him some new ones.

0points

Who Panda 420 2 years ago

My godmother got fired as a lunch lady for sneaking kids milk that was ready to expire. Her boss apologized profusely. Admitted it was sad and dumb but shed been noticed so nothing could b done. This same angel did haircuts and free perms to the elderly and was fired for no highschool deploma. In her day it was acceptable to get a beauty school cert. Instead

0points

Martin Heston 2 years ago

🤮

0points

Summer Mason 2 years ago

You are a hero. Thank you.

0points

Jessie M 2 years ago

Nothing says public education more than "a apple"

0points

Selina Ali 2 years ago

This can get you fired I agree with the op

0points

Akalvin 2 years ago

dumb countries have dumb rules...

0points

Lynn H 2 years ago

Thank you

0points

Joy 2 years ago

Keep doing it. You may be more of a lifeline to these than you know and they'll never forget you. Well done Angel Tutor 🥰

0points

Betsy Novack 2 years ago

I brought watermelon and shared it at breakfast. I bust the rules all the time. Buy books, clothes etc. i always send a note home to let the parent know it was from me and avoid any misunderstandings. As far as food. So much gets thrown out. And it's amazing how many kids are hungry. SPEC ED is tough. I'm a para assisting in various grades and abilities. Also MM & MS. I was previously at a school that with many foreign students who's attend university for scientific research, medical training. Many customs. Many languages. I was sitting at a table, typing to translate for a Chinese girl. I played it she gave me the HUH look. A Russian boy who also speaks Chinese, saw the HUH look on my face and "that doesn't like any Chinese I ever heard". I learned long ago to listen not the way I normally do but with my heart and these guys have a lot to say and teach us.

0points

Miranda Tittles 2 years ago

*an apple

0points

Guy MacGregor 2 years ago

I have no idea is what country OP is living, but that does not seems like a good place

0points

Very Bored Panda 2 years ago

It's sad that you need to do that

0points

Grumble O'Pug 2 years ago

You are a hero.

0points

third molar 2 years ago

Reminds me of the short story "all about the dog". Rules are not just for sake of rules.

-1point

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud I had a counselor who straight up turned some of my Ds to Bs when I changed schools before my senior year. I had a super rough home life and I told her about it when she asked why my test scores were very high and my grades were low. Thanks to her bumping up my GPA, I was able to get into college. I know it’s probably not 'right' and she risked her job, but that woman legit probably saved my life. I saw her about a year ago out in public and gave her the biggest hug.

Thejohnshirey , javier trueba Report

Final score:

485points

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Caro Caro 2 years ago

Sometimes all you need is a break!

161points

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud The CEO of the company is a micromanager who wants to make even the tiniest decisions.

He has a coffee mug with the text: Rule 1: I am always right Rule 2: When not, see rule 1.

It might be a joke, but I feel it's a constant subliminal message he sends himself. So, I hid the mug a couple of months ago.

I just left the company last week, and did not return the mug.

ETA: Thanks for the awards, this is now my top comment.

At the time he looked for it frantically searching all offices and enquiring us if we are using 'his' mug.

I played dumb obviously and laughed my ass off.

I did not steal it, I am 6'6 no one else in the company is, and it sits on top of the kitchen cabinets, just out of sight and reach.

Ultra-Pulse , Vee Satayamas Report

Final score:

414points

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Esté 2 years ago

I love this, just out of sight, out of reach, but definitely there.. you, sir, are brilliant!

170points

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud I lost the school spelling bee on purpose. The girl I was against put a lot of time and effort into it, whereas I basically just showed up. Plus, she was more on the nerdy side, not a lot going outside of school… and I felt she needed a victory. She missed a word, I purposefully missed it to keep her in. This happened a few times. Later, I missed one on purpose to give her the victory. She went on to the state competition. The teacher giving the words threw me a look of disgust, as she knew what I did. Oh well…

txbuckeye75034 , Nikhita S Report

Final score:

399points

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K Sarfo 2 years ago

💓

88points

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud I'm a therapeutic foster parent. When kids leave us to go back home, I am usually really happy for them (unless I don't think their family is going to be able to handle things safely, then I am worried as could be) but I am also selfishly completely heartbroken. I think about our former kids all the time. When they go home, I try to write our name and phone number in a bunch of their books so they can maybe find us again. And I keep my Facebook page as unlocked as possible hoping they will feel they can reach out if they need anything. I want to foster forever, but I also wonder if I can keep saying goodbye like this. It absolutely guts me and I know I have no right to feel that way.

SKatieRo , sofatutor Report

Final score:

331points

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Liz the Wanderer 2 years ago

You have every right to your feelings. You are investing heavily, and have no control of the outcomes.

249points

My ex-husband left, no warning, cheated pretended I didn’t exist. 1 year later he wants the sofa because he bought it! Due to the lock-down happing just after his request, he had to wait a while before he could pick it up. I proceeded to have sex all over that sofa, throughout lockdown, with new boyfriend! Ex now has the sofa back.

Money-Plant9722 Report

Final score:

274points

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Jo Johannsen 2 years ago

Seems logical.

94points

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud Third grade, 1953. Somebody passed out a box of lollipops to the class. There was an extra. I took it.

I can no longer live with this shame.

BobT21 , Christopher Ryan Report

Final score:

266points

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Luis Hernandez Dauajare 2 years ago (edited)

When I was ten, I stole a book from my school library. It was collection of short stories and I really liked it, so I borrowed it and never returned it. No one notice, but anyway I took one of my own books to replace it. Again, no one noticed. Turns out the book I took was a first edition, and really rare. And I still have it. [Edited note] After reading the comments, I have some things to say: 1. Thanks for all the comments of support and understanding. I do not meant to justify myself, but in my mind of the time me replacing the book with another was a way of taking it. 2. The library in question (or the school, for that matter) does no longer exist. I have no idea what happened to the books. 3. I do not intend to sell the book. 4. In case anyone is wondering, the book is a 1952 first edition of Ray Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles (yes, I was an odd kid). It was old and falling apart when I took it and I repaired it myself with cellotape many times. Later I had it rebinded. I doubt it is valuable as a collectible now.

111points

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud When i was in high school, i failed second semester of biology. So here comes the next year and i have to retake it. Again, i pass first semester but fail second semester which means retaking the entire class.

Well, i transferred schools after that. When i was getting all my transfer information looked over in the office at the new school, the woman noticed i had two passed first semesters but never passed a full class.

I said “passing two semesters is KINDA like the full class”, she winked, and that was that. no more bio.

so i guess it’s OUR dirty little secret.

illitior3 , Jeswin Thomas Report

Final score:

261points

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Stephanie IV 2 years ago

I like that you got a break. I hate the small i for I.

56points

#10

When I was 15 or 16, I was in an abusive relationship and he would want to go out and I had to pay, but if I didn't have money he would get mad. So I would take money out of my grandma's savings box every time he would make me go out.
It made me so guilty, but she never said anything, so over the years and after a lot of therapy now that I'm an adult and have a job and all, I put money from my salary in her box without her noticing. I think I've already paid back everything I took, but I don't want to stop. It hurts to think if she ever was affected by what I did...no matter the reason I did it.

AlessiaRS18 Report

Final score:

259points

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IlovemydogShilo 2 years ago

It's sad you couldn't talk to your parents about this.

84points

#11

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud I got an $8,000 dollar scholarship, due to a clerical error, for having above a 3.7 GPA all semester but my GPA was actually 3.07

NoEyeO_O , Mikael Kristenson Report

Final score:

243points

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K Sarfo 2 years ago

Im happy for OP but I feel bad for the person who actually did the deed and missed out

88points

#12

A co-worker retired and I inherited one of his reports, which is one of my employer's Key Performance Metrics. Every two weeks it would take him an entire 8 hour day to complete.

The first week I was able to automate most of it down to 1 hour. Over the next nearly 10 years, I've improved it to the point that it runs in less than a minute, then 14 minutes to quality check it. I then spend the next 8 hours surfing reddit, watching movies, doing whatever I want in my office from home.

All this time, I've told my boss it takes me 8 hour to perform, and sometimes I'll tack on extra hours because of "technical issues". No questions asked as long as its in his inbox by COB Friday.

About 8 years ago I had a conversation with a coworker who works for my boss' boss. It turns out he recieves the report on Monday and never reads it. It gets filed away and the only time they get looked at is during an audit. I've had to discuss the reports just twice, and showed them an "SOP" I wrote that demostrates how it's done (without the automation). Auditor checks the box, next item...

Whenever I'm on vacation, I turn the SOP over to someone else who'll have to compile the report by hand. When I get back, they've alway mentioned "How do you do all that in just 8 hours???" At this point I've charged my boss nearly an entire year for sitting on my [butt]

miauguau44 Report

Final score:

218points

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Insert Generic Username 2 years ago

Work smarter, not harder...

125points

#13

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud I never wrote my 7th grade science paper on Dysentery, and when my teacher asked me if I turned it in, I said yes.

She looked through all of the papers and stacks of paperwork on her very crowded desk, and she said she "knew she saw it there somewhere."

I got a B for a paper I never wrote.

Sorry Ms. Weber.

BBQinFool , Green Chameleon Report

Final score:

211points

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Kanuli 2 years ago

I felt so guilty half my life. Did this once, actually when I was too young to get what I was doing, but old enough to feel bad about it? I took the same topic this presentation was about and aced it in my academic career later on. And I have never done it again, and never will. Honesty is key.

44points

#14

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud I slept with my mom’s friend. She was younger than my mom. She was 32 and I was 20 at the time. She stopped me one day as I was walking by her apartment and asked if I could take a look at her laptop because the “wifi wasn’t working.” I said of course and started looking for the cause of it. While I was on her couch with the laptop she comes out of the kitchen with a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses. At that point I knew the real reason I was there. Needless to say, there was nothing wrong with her wifi.

El_Werm , DANNY G Report

Final score:

210points

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Susie Elle 2 years ago

Don't mean to be that person but if the roles were reversed and a 32 year old man would lure in a 20 year old woman like that, everyone'd get the shivers. I mean, at least he was an adult.

29points

IntergalacticPopTart , Alex Haney Report

#15

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud When I was a kid, my mom took away my favorite computer game CD for a few weeks as punishment for something I did. (Bad grade I think?)

I found where she hid it, photocopied the CD label, cut out the print, glued it to a blank disk, and put that in the place of the real CD. (Surprisingly she never noticed!)

I played it when no one else was home. Its been 18 years, and I still haven't told her!

Final score:

205points

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IlovemydogShilo 2 years ago

My parents had an old rotary phone in the late 80s early 90s that they could put a lock on to stop me from using. I was in town one day and my mother gave me some groceries to put back in the car and gave me her keys. There on her key chain was the key to the phone lock. I took it to a shop that cut keys and used my allowance to get the key copied. It worked. To this day even though they are both dead they never knew why their phone bill was a little higher each month.

59points

#16

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud I act a lot stupider at work so they don’t rely on me too much

ChidoriKickz , Surface Report

Final score:

202points

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Marco Hub-Dub 2 years ago

I get this. My sister just quit her job today because she was being exploited for her labor. She was in an entry level position but so smart and great at what she did, they dumped the responsibility of a former supervisor on her and now she’s managing 10 interns at the same salary she was hired for and that a handful of others who don’t do extra make. When she tried to negotiate they used her lack of experience in the job and the fact that these were unpaid interns as an excuse to not give her a cent extra. In her meeting with her boss and HR they mentioned how smart and quick to learn she was over a dozen times. If only she had acted a little less intelligent. This happens on subtle and micro levels all the time. Your intelligence will be exploited, just as your ignorance will.

80points

cartoonassasin , Eckhard Hoehmann Report

#17

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud When our phone was disconnected (1990's) for non-payment, I dialed 911 to see if they would still pickup (they did) but I hung up right away. Ten minutes later the cops showed up at my door, and I blamed it on the kids.

Final score:

189points

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Stephanie IV 2 years ago

Fear makes everybody lie.

54points

Sh*tStuckInYourTeeth , Joshua J. Cotten Report

#18

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud It wasn’t raccoons that spilled that paint in the garage in 1993. It was me

Final score:

179points

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Caro Caro 2 years ago

Nobody could get angry at that little cutie on the photo! Aaaaw

68points

#19

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud When I was a kid, I farted into a little box over and over for a full year. It was a tin some christmas cookies came in with a picture of Santa on it. Every single time I had to fart, I lifted the lid, “put it in the box”, and quickly closed it. Before long, the box was successfully weaponized and ready for deployment. When my brother was mean to me, I’d steal his Oakleys (expensive horrible 90’s sunglasses) and put them in the box to, um, marinate overnight. Then I’d quietly return them.

My brother continually complained to my mom about how they smelled and that they’d sold him “a bad pair,” and wanted new ones. She was like hell no dude. So he just kept wearing them til they broke.

So basically I farted into my brother’s eyes for a year. Never told anyone.

Legs_Luther , Guillaume Capron Report

Final score:

174points

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Olga Posedaru 2 years ago

I'm actually quite impressed with the physics of this.... didn't know you could do that! :D

110points

#20

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud When I was about 8-9 I was sent to a summer camp for 1 month. My sister, who was 14, also was there. Never been away from my parents before. This camp was located around Lake Delton wisconsin. I remember the cabins in the woods. Now I don't know if I had arachnophobia before this experience, but I recall that the toilet stalls had dozens of daddy longleg spiders all over, and I was so scared I just held It in for about 4-5 days. Well.. One day I just couldn't hold it anymore and had to make a run for the toilets. I semi ran/walked to The toilets, trying to hold it in, made it In to the main area where the sinks are and just couldn't hold it anymore and just quickly, with one hand, pulled down my pants from behind and dropped the biggest dump on the tile floor, all while still in motion towards the toilet. Thank God no one was in there to see this. When I stepped out, a large group had formed out side and inside one of the staff was covering his face with one hand and holding a hoes in the other.No one suspected me.. .. I thanked God that no one found this out as if they had, the rest of my stay there would have been utter torment.

Fast forward about 30 years.. Im at my parents house with my wife.. My sister is there as well, brothers. Anyway.. We're talking and camp comes up. Told her that it was Me who did that... She nearly laughed to death, Saying "the entire camp talked about this all summer". Hate spiders up until this day.

Good times.

_NeXXeR_ , Josh Hild Report

Final score:

166points

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Andy Acceber 2 years ago

"Hose." A staff member in a group "holding his face and a hoes" has an entirely different meaning and would certainly have beaten your incident for top gossip of the summer. =)

68points

#21

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud I’d only just begun paying off a vehicle loan in mid 1999. My January payment was returned with the bank saying it was paid off. Not even close. Thanks Y2K.

antmakka , Sharon McCutcheon Report

Final score:

162points

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Pisco 2 years ago

I always wished that i could be a hacker and go around canceling peoples loans.

88points

lubbz , Christina @ wocintechchat.com Report

#22

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud I’m not that good at IT, I can google like no other.

Final score:

155points

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Reuben Burdekin 2 years ago

My friend that is all I.T is, learning how to google and understanding that all roads lead to stack overflow

80points

theoriginalmypooper Report

#23

I came clean a few years ago. But in the 4th and 5th grade I had an obsession with sharp things like knives and razors and would bring them to school. One day our teacher was reading a book and I was messing with the razor behind my back and cut the overhead projectors cord and flipped the breakers for the room. They could tell I cut it but never found the razor blade I hid.

20 years later I find my teacher on FB who still teaches at the same school. I fessed up and told him where he might find the razor blade in the classroom. Sure enough all these years later he found the blade with a hole burned in it from the shock. He decided to keep it as a souvenir from his very first year teaching.

Final score:

149points

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imtheatre 2 years ago

How did you not die of being electrocuted? Seems sus.

31points

#24

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud When I was about 8 i was in a supermarket with my mum and she had to use the bathroom. I was sat on the bench outside waiting and there was one of those “press to break glass” fire alarms on the wall. I wanted to know how hard you had to press it… not very hard as it turns out.

The whole store had to leave their shopping and go outside, well over 100 people. Not sure what happened after that because we just went home.

It’s been 20 years and I’ve still never told anyone.

General-Ad-9753 , Jalen Hueser Report

Final score:

132points

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Scagsy 2 years ago

I have always wondered that myself. Thanks for saving me the awks.

57points

EnvironmentalMouse98 , João Ferrão Report

#25

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud Cheated on my CV to add some skills and certificates I don’t have to match a Google position… but after 5 years I mastered all of them and became a team manager ..

Still a black hole I still can’t get through

Final score:

119points

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WilvanderHeijden 2 years ago

As long as they are asking for a PhD to re-stock shelves, you are legally allowed to lie about your qualifications.

49points

#26

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud 5yr old me ruined my parents marriage. I distinctly remember finding what I now know is a condom(unused) in our old station wagon. Me not knowing any better began playing with it. Got done tossed it in the trash. Fast forward a short time later. My father returns home and begins to drag the can to the road. As he closes the lid he notices said condom and you can guess where it goes from there. I didn’t learn that was the reason until I was about 14-15.

Wide_Berry7254 , Will Francis Report

Final score:

116points

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LC Greenwood 2 years ago

You did not ruin their marriage. lies and deceit between adults did that

140points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#27

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud One time when I was 10-12 ish, I told a group of friends that I brushed my teeth with hot water instead of cold water (our cultural norm) just to seem quirky or cool, and man did it get the reaction I was hoping for. However, it was all a lie. I did brush with cold water. And this lie was too heavy for my pre-teen soul, so every day since then I have brushed my teeth with hot water, despite being 15 years older. I feel trapped in my hot teeth scrubbing sentence yet it feels right as a punishment for lying.

MightyTOne , Diana Polekhina Report

Final score:

113points

POST

Tiffanie Sewell 2 years ago

I've brushed my teeth with hot water for sad long as I can remember. It feels better on my teeth and I feel like it's a little more sanitary.

62points

#28

I was 10 ... My parents had been working day and night to get their start up business off the ground. ... After several months of spending my afternoons alone ... I decided to diversify my entertainment selection. I proceeded to ransack their entire office ... I broke a window and two lamps, smashed the legs off a chair, and pulled every file from the cabinets and tossed them around the room like confetti. I then called my mother and told her I’d just gotten home and found the place burglarized.
She told me to get out of the house, and called 911 on her way home. The cops arrived with their sirens blaring at about the same time she rolled up. They stormed the house with guns drawn, screaming, 'Come out with your hands up!' When I saw them going all Delta force through my front door, I knew that I had probably gone a little too far this time. Long story short, a detective came to take a report after the patrol cops had cleared the premises. As I was sitting on my living room sofa, surrounded by the tattered remains of my dirty work, the detective looked me dead in the eyes and said, 'There was no break in, was there?' The man looked right into my soul and knew the truth. ... Thankfully, I was young enough to escape any criminal charges.

koushakandystore Report

Final score:

111points

POST

Mattewis88 2 years ago

I hope this guy got therapy.

105points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#29

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud My freshman year of highschool, I ditched class so much that I flunked the year. I moved to a different town over the summer and somehow they lost my "permanent record" in the mail. (Early 90s, so they had computers, but they weren't integrated between school districts, so it was just a fat folder of paperwork.) Anyway, when the new school realized this, they called me in and asked what classes and grades I had, so I straight up lied my way out of having to retake freshman year.

axnu , Jeswin Thomas Report

Final score:

98points

POST

Sue Hazlewood 2 years ago

They didn't bother to contact your previous school?

59points

#30

I (M25) had a threesome with two co-workers (M40 & F33). Now she's pregnant with her husband (atleast we think that it's his)

Unbeltedriver2 Report

Final score:

98points

POST

oktopus 2 years ago

I hope she's pregnant with a baby...

147points

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#31

Back in the day, my drunk friend wanted to do more shots of vodka, but put water in the shot glasses for her. She said that she couldn’t taste anything. I told her that after a while, her taste buds are messed up because she had too much to drink, but here ya go! Bottoms up!

Watery-Mustard Report

Final score:

35points

POST

Insert Generic Username 2 years ago

Chaotic good

20points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#32

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud All my work can be done on my cellphone and I lay in bed most mornings until noon.

Pencilowner , Shane Report

Final score:

30points

POST

Iron Eddy 2 years ago

Enjoy ;)

10points

Available-Egg-2380 Report

#33

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud I was supposed to map the coordinates of our class’ buried time capsule in 1979 and did not do it.

newleafkratom , GeoJango Maps Report

Final score:

30points

POST

Cadena Norton 2 years ago

Don't worry it will turn up. In the 90s my school was doing renovations and found the the school time capsule from the 60s. No one knew it was there. It was marked to b opened in the yr 2000 so they bricked it back in to wall and ripped it out in 2000. Then our school made another one and buried them and do this every 20 yrs. I saw an article about opening the 2000 one and remembered we put a video of a goth fashion show in there. I am mortified that someone has now seen that

13points

#34

When I was three or four years old, my mom and I were at a Piggly wiggly market. She wouldn't buy me the five cent piece of gum out of the bins of candy. I was mad. I stole the five cent piece of gum. The store went out of business within a month. As an adult I understand my theft didn't put the store out of business. Nonetheless, I've lived with that guilt for more than 30 years

Final score:

30points

POST

Axolotl King 2 years ago

Dude when I was five I accidentally stole a penny from a Panda Express. It was on the counter and I thought it was our change so I grabbed it for my dad but it turned out it was money he was giving the cashier. He made me go back in and give it back and apologize, to this day I still joke about the time I stole money from a restaurant (and then explain the actual story for legal reasons) XD

10points

#35

I'm a college dropout who makes a fantastic living basically driving a go kart at an airport.

dreamerrz Report

Final score:

29points

POST

IlovemydogShilo 2 years ago

Living the dream.

5points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#36

In my childhood (fifth or sixth grade) while eating my breakfast before leaving for school, I would keep little chewed food inside my mouth and when I walk to the school bus stand I would drink a sip of water and just when I sat in the bus I would vomit it out so that I could be sent back home for feeling unwell. I used to repeat this in couple of month specially the day I didn’t feel like going to school at all sometime to watch cricket match

anfuman Report

Final score:

27points

POST

Kanuli 2 years ago

This is too smart to criticise.

7points

#37

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud One time when I was like 5-9 years old my dad was shopping around at a lumber store. I wandered around alone and couldn’t find a bathroom. I had to pee so bad. So I just found a secluded back corner behind some wood and pissed on the floor. 30 years later I still drive by that place every day and remember.

Wick3d3nd3r , Hunter Johnson Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Kanuli 2 years ago

Hahaha. My brother even told me, if I had to pee really urgently do to it in that one manhole. One day when I was still young, still doing it, my grandma caught me in the act, explained to me why I shouldn’t do it, but also laughed hard as they wondered which freaking animal would constantly coz this smell, as when it doesn’t rain much the manhole wouldnt flush.

6points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#38

I worked at Wendy's during my teenage years. I also had a teenager's metabolism, so I would frequently treat myself to numerous giant Frostys during evening shift.

Closing one night and, to avoid a 2am ride home with my sketchy manager, I decided to walk the 3 miles home through suburbia.

Around the halfway point of my early morning walk, the gallons of delicious milky beverage in my gut transformed itself into gallons of fetid milky waste wanting very much to leave my body.

Without a bathroom nearby, I darted down an alley and hopped a fence into a backyard...where I unleashed evil. I noticed that this yard had all the necessary accoutrement to indicate a dog or two lived there. My hope is that the owners didn't take their dogs to the vet with the assumption that Fido's anus exercised Mephistopheles.

CowNourishmentRod Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Grumble O'Pug 2 years ago

Having had a dog roll in both human excrement and human barf (separate occasions!), I hate you on behalf if all dog owners.

36points

#39

I am a horrible reader, yet I'm a writer.

DocDavreil Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Dodo 2 years ago

I'm a horrible writer, which is why I'm an editor.

24points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#40

I've seen both of my sisters in law naked.

I accidentally walked in on my brother's wife whilst she was changing. I didnt realise she was in the room and just walked in. She knows it was me but we've both just pretended that didn't happen.

My wifes sister asked me to fix her laptop as it wasnt working. Turns out it hadn't had a windows update for nearly 4 years and was filled with all description of bloatware and malware (she had 4 address bars on her browser) and her pretty explicit nudes in prime position in her Downloads folder.

I returned her laptop in working condition with a new folder named "Private". So yeah she knows I saw them, but no-one else does

UnfinishedThings Report

Final score:

24points

POST

BasedWang 2 years ago

hmmmmm. suspiciousssss

2points

#41

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud I’ve never OFFICIALLY graduated college. I was able to attend the graduation ceremony, and got to walk on stage. Whole 9 yards. But I was 10 credits shy of my degree.That was almost 11 years ago, and I’m currently working a pretty nice-paying job, so it worked out. But yeah…I can’t help but cringe a little bit when my parents gush about all three of their children (I’m the middle child) being college graduates

Specktakles88 , Charles DeLoye Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Samantha Lomb 2 years ago

I'm kinda shocked they let you walk. I remember my school wanting to keep people from graduation over over due library book fines.

24points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

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College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#42

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud I just graduated school and got a job at a big company in engineering. I spend a lot of time each day looking at memes, watching YouTube videos, etc… sometimes I do work.

They’ve told me I’m doing a good job so far.

Laustintranslation1 , Glenn Carstens-Peters Report

Final score:

23points

POST

BusLady 2 years ago

But the important question is: How much time do you spend on BP?

4points

#43

30 People Reveal Their “Dirty Lil Secrets” They Will Probably Never Say Out Loud I failed my electrical design class in college but work at an electrical utility company as a designer.

Eledesigner , Shubham Sharan Report

Final score:

22points

POST

IlovemydogShilo 2 years ago

My brother was terrible at cooking as a teenager, he nearly burnt the kitchen down making baked beans on toast. He later decided to go to catering college. Did a 2 year course in 1 year. Graduated the top of his class with a really good degree in food science and made a career literally straight form graduation being a chef getting his first posting as a head chef just a year later. What you fail at in your early years you can always more than make up for later on.

12points

#44

When I was a kid (17) I worked at a Greyhound station. I accidently sent a woman to Salmo instead of Salmon Arm because I thought it just ran out of print space on the ticket / screen. I had never heard of Salmo back then. That woman had to spend an entire night in hells half acres, and lost an entire day of travel. My boss chalked it up to a "glitch" in their antiquated machine.

Really it was me.

I also would occasionally steal a bag of chips from that store when I got bored/hungry.

God I was such a [jerk]

I_Like_Ginger Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Green Machine 2 years ago

Wait... wouldn't you have sent the woman to Salmon Arm? You thought the ticket ran out of space (so it would have said Salmo), plus you never heard of Salmo?

7points

#45

In senior year of HS, I put a milk carton in the ceiling of a portable building right before spring break. When we came back from spring break, the classroom smelled like a rotting corpse. Some other kid that was a known prankster somehow got blamed and was suspended.

carpetgazer · Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Lucky 2 years ago

I feel sorry for the other kid.

20points

#46

I started lying about my experience with construction site work experience 4 years ago. Today, I am a site superintendent that googles answers to questions raised by other trades To buy time I say “that’s a great question, let me get back to you on that.” I make 90k a year doing this. Been steady for 2 years now

Steeltown1984 Report

Final score:

-9points

POST

LC Greenwood 2 years ago

sounds like you may be putting people in danger.

44points

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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What do you think ?

POST

GoodWolf 2 years ago

In '93, I filled up our mailbox to the brim with wet sand. And I smeared glue all over my mum's car. It was me, not "those Russians".

12points

Aubrie Allen 2 years ago

When I was 15 in the mid 90's, I found a phone number that would just ring and ring. I told my mom it was my friend Cindy's house phone, and I would spend the night at her house every weekend. Really, I was going to punk shows, parties, and spending the night at boy's houses. I did have a friend names Cindy, but I never once spent the night at her house.

9points

Suzi Q 2 years ago

In the early 80's I was 16-17. My best friend and I would each tell our parents that we were spending the night at the other's house. Neither parents ever called to verify. I don't even think that either parents had the other parent's number. That was normal in those days. Instead we'd go to parties where we'd drink and smoke weed. One of our friend's' parents was out of town a lot so we'd stay at his house. (I'm married to that man now.)

0points

Smilejustbecause 2 years ago

I am a nurse at a children’s hospital and I always give the kids little gifts and say it’s from the hospital but really from me :)

5points

kjorn 2 years ago

remember when i was in highschool ( i was 15 i think) they was a girl i know for a long time. never really talked to her ( i was scared of girl when i was younger) but i always had a crush on her. remember i just saw the movie Cyrano de Bergerac (with Depardieu) and i don't know it just give me a boost to try something. i wrote her a letter and just slip it in her school desk. but was too scared to put my name so i just put the first letter of my first and last name together F + L if you fused them it makes a E. but i decide to erased it but not enough it was still there. so the day after that i remember her coming to class (she was sit just beside me) she was M-A-D!!! OMG i feel so bad. i was too scared to even say of do something as i heard her. i never was so scared of my life. she never knew and never told her. i told that only to one of my friend who never told her too but for what i knew she never have ideas of who it was. i never did that kind of thing again.

4points

ejfs 2 years ago

I forged a page of my student loan form because the university lost it and I really needed that money. I still feel sick when I think about it.

3points

Kai David 2 years ago

Yes, we stole the idea from Chunk from Goonies. We bought cans of cream corn, peas, cream of mushroom etc to make "vomit". Roosevelt Theatre, in Kenosha, a historic theatre. We went to the balcony, made the puking sound and spilled our vomit over the edge. It was closed over a month for hazmat cleaning. When Raider's of the list arc was playing at said theatre, during the snake scene, we toßes small rubber snakes and worms over the balcony.

3points

L hill 2 years ago

In high school there was a guy who was a bully. Came from a rich family and got away with everything. Oddly enough, his name was donald. One day, after class, he forgot his wallet on his desk. I took it and went through it and found phone numbers, including his home number. I called it, changed my voice and said i was a truant officer with the school. I spoke to his mother and asked why he was ditching class and was facing suspension. She was not a happy mom...😁. The next day donald came in and looked worried and was hunched over, compared to his usual bullying behavior. I told a close friend about it and we sat there in class and laughed at him the whole time. He was still a jerk but it was satisfying knowing i made his life miserable if even just for a day. Maybe even longer. You're welcome donald.

1point

KT 2 years ago

When I was 8 I was invited to a pool party. Well we all are a ton of food and later the mom tells us the only toilet is broken and.not flushing. Of course I had to go number 2 pretty bad and it became downright painful. So while everyone was off snacking I jumped into the pool and took a huuuge poop much to my horror the poos were floating and they were big. I got out and went about party business. Later the girls all jumped in the pool. One of them dove to get a sinking toy but grabbed a number two instead and came up screaming while another floater passed by another girl's face they all began screaming and fleeing the pool. I got blamed on the toddler that had been in the pool for a bit. I am laughing as I type this out remembering it haha

1point

Suzi Q 2 years ago

I found my sister's birth control pills when she was 16 (I was 14.) I blackmailed her for a couple years. She did my chores and gave me rides. Her boyfriend was 19 so parents would've killed him. I feel bad about it today. She's been married to that man for 34 years now.

0points

Patti Vance 2 years ago

was/am terrible at math so i needed a tutor in college in order to meet requirements for graduation. the tutor worked with the professor and she was known to be good with helping so he never questioned her practices. the prof would assign only the 'even' numbered problems so she thought giving me the 'odd' ones would be great for practice. come the final, it was all the odd problems which i had written down in my book so basically just copied them. after grading i felt guilty for 'fessed up to the prof and his response was that i had at least done the problems so no problem.

0points

L hill 2 years ago

I ate some italian ice and got sick. I threw up in a rotating curtain display at a high end department store. I also peed in an elevator that was in a 2 story building. When you gotta go tou gotta go. I was in my 20s, not a little kid. Sorry phoenix public library.

-1point

Moosy Girl 2 years ago

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POST

GoodWolf 2 years ago

In '93, I filled up our mailbox to the brim with wet sand. And I smeared glue all over my mum's car. It was me, not "those Russians".

12points

Aubrie Allen 2 years ago

9points

Suzi Q 2 years ago

0points