According to communication researcher and social scientist Elizabeth Dorrance Hall, attributions are thoughts we have about people that help us make sense of why others do the things they do.
There are two types of attributions we make about others' behavior:
When we make situational attributions, we believe their behavior is due to something in their situation. For instance, our coworker might have been short with us, because he is tired or overworked.
Personality attributions are more about a person's character. When we make these attributions, we believe the behavior is due to the person's personality. Assuming that the same coworker who was short with us is impatient or unkind is making a personality attribution.
Focusing on the latter, Reddit user u/booja87 posted a question to the platform: "What's something you secretly judge people about?" And people answered it. Here are some of the most interesting replies.
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The way people treat animals. I'm an Indian I have seen my fair share of abuse of street dogs and other domestic animals. The way people care for their pets or in general any animal. If I have a pack of biscuits and I see a stray puppy that's looking at me, I'll always empty out the packet for it to eat. What I mean to say is, acts of compassion and kindness towards animals does tell a lot about the humanity of the person.
How they treat servers, waitstaff, or hotel clerks. Nothing irritates me more than grown-ass adults who think service professionals are somehow beneath them or that they're somehow indentured servants. And how they treat janitors/custodial staff, and whether people leave more of a mess than they should because 'it’s their job to clean up after [them]
This. I have seen people with very high educational qualifications misbehaving and treating cleaners, waiters, gatekeepers etc and treating them like they are not humans. No matter how much schooling such people have done they are not educated.
People who use their speakerphone for music or conversations in public places. I hate it
Not wearing masks properly. My job the last year has involved making sure people wear masks properly. I don’t understand people who wear it but under their nose or chin. Like what is the point?
This should be higher. Someone with the mask under the nose irritates me even more than someone with no masks. Just do it right, it is so so easy. Or people with masks that are clearly too big or loose so they have to pull it back up every 5 seconds.
Cheating. Apparently this is an unpopular opinion in the world now, but I have a severe fear of being cheated on. I think it’s horrible. So whenever I hear one of my friends talk/almost brag about cheating on their partner, I automatically lose a lot of respect for them.
Not liking animals. It’s one thing not to want a pet — they’re a lot of time and money. But people who say, 'I don’t like animals' get a hard side-eye from me.
I don't trust ANYONE who doesn't like animals. I get it that some people prefer not to be jumped on by dogs, or having a demanding cat want to jump in their lap, but to outright say you "hate" animals is a massive warning for me that there's something not right about that person.
How their kids behave and their parenting choices. When the parents think a tantrum is funny or cute. I was watching a little girl throw a huge fit at a store the other day, and the mom and grandma were both giggling about how 'sassy' she was
Don't judge too much... being a parent is hard and sometimes kids can be assholes. Lol
People who have to try and dominate every discussion or have to one-up every other person who contributes to the discussion.
I was taught that sharing similar stories was a way to talk to people: with time I have learned that this is dangerously close to above behaviour of one-upping, and always try to watch myself when chatting so i dont do this reflex when im nervous. It comes across as selfish to people sometimes i think, but there was a difference in my mind anyway between one upping, or listening and letting them tell you how it felt, and sometimes sharing an experience in return, like a show of solidarity? I just don't know nowadays maybe I am coming across rude to all, not just some?
Leaving cigarette butts everywhere. Bonus judgement if it's still "fired up" and they don't care where it lands.
I'm a smoker and I never put butts anywhere they're not supposed to go. Living in Australia and seeing catastrophic fires started by some loser flicking a lit butt out a car window makes you pretty careful!
Volume of their voice
My cousin talks so loud it's almost shouting. He's deaf in one ear as a result of a lightning strike. Unless someone tells him, he doesn't realise he's being so loud. So maybe don't judge...
Not putting their shopping cart back. My first job was to collect carts and bag groceries. If I can put my cart away with two small children in tow, so can you!
The background wallpaper on their phone. Especially when it's a picture of themselves. Who puts a photo of themselves as the background photo on their phone? Weird!
If you have a new phone or fancy nails and your kid has worn out shoes, I will judge the [hell] out of you.
I’ve come to realize that I find negative comments about personal appearance vulgar (joking about a person’s weight, face, how old they look, etc.).
Anybody who thinks it’s funny to repeatedly joke about how ugly so-and-so is, or how fat, or how bald? UGH. It really makes the commenter seem mean and unsophisticated to me.
This is why I struggle to watch any Adam Sandler movie - he always has characters there solely to insult on a personal level. It doesn't even add anything to the story
Spelling . You don't know how to write 'anaerobic'? No worries mate, it's a rare word and who needs to use it anyway? But if you're unable to use their/they're/there properly, which you have literally seen being used correctly a thousand times, then I can't guarantee I will ever consider you a bright person.
One challenge to this is that the person may have dyslexia and therefore have difficulty with this. Got to remember you will never know what someone else’s challenges are so don’t be too quick to judge
People who gossip to me about other people. I always wonder what they say about me behind my back.
How snobbish a person is about someone else's situation (information about wage, job, family situation, living situation, etc., and making a comment on it). They should try working on their feet for 10 hours in a hot, greasy kitchen before criticizing someone for 'flipping burgers
Bad table manners. If I’ve ever shared a meal with you and you chewed with your mouth open or made food noises, I promise that during the entire meal, I’ve fantasized about your death.
Don't ever go to Korea then. I used to live there and would go eating out with my colleagues very frequently. It took time getting used to the table manners there, as making a lot of noise when eating is pretty common over there. Almost everyone does it; from the teenage girl to the old man. It's just how it is.
People who constantly film their kids at recitals and things like that. Take a few pictures, then put ur devices down and actually watch it. No point in filming a 20 minute video that you’re never gonna watch again.
Also, people who go to firework shows…AND FILM THE FIREWORKS, for more than 4 seconds. That’s something you are REALLY never gonna watch again. Just live in the moment, take a couple pics, and move on
I mean this could really depend. The parents might want to film their kids and send it to the grandparents. Some families live across the globe from each other and they would want to share special moments with their love ones.
What part of their life are they posting on social media. Especially when they post every tiny problem in a relationship on social media
I firmly believe in the theory that a healthy relationship is barely apparent on social media, because the people in it don't crave the validation to make them feel good about it. Relationships that are splashed all over social media, particularly with gushing captions about how perfect it is always give me the impression of two people trying to convince themselves.
The behavior of their dog. There are of course allowances for dogs that were adopted/rescued that weren’t trained for a period of their lives, and some dogs have reactive behavior that’s difficult to overcome even with diligent work. However, if the only reason your dog is a little [jerk] is because you don’t care enough to train them right, I’m sitting here in judgment.
Craving for attention. As an introvert, people who do that are very easy to notice and very annoying.
This possibly sounds reasonable without context, but spend some time on /r/unpopularopinion and you’ll learn that a lot of Redditors have a pathological hatred of anyone who reaches out in even the most benign ways. I’ve seen them call cancer patients “attention seekers”. Multiple times.
When they talk badly about people they were acting nice towards
Grey area. Are we talking about being polite to strangers, then sharing what was weird about them when they are gone? Talking badly about a weird relative or friend's friend you don't like but can't avoid? There are plenty of times when you're expected to be courteous to people you don't get along with for whatever reasons, which can be exhausting so I think it's fine to vent afterwards! What crosses the line IMO is when it delves into gossip and/or when you act like outright friends with them. Thought the line can be difficult to define across personal and cultural differences.
How open they are to differing opinions. There are certain people who immediately get defensive or shut down the whole discussion when they disagree with something, instead of having an actual conversation about it.
How you prioritize your money. Not how you spend it as I couldn’t care less if you can afford it, but if you’re the type of person who’s tight on money and spending it willy nilly or spending out of your means and justifying it, then your ceiling for being a bright person drops significantly. One of my exes said they had $40 in their bank account during the peak of the pandemic. She had no job and she thought she earned going to get a manicure and blowing even more than what she could afford since I think she needed to borrow money to make up for the cost. I told her that was a stupid purchase and she kept trying to justify it by saying it’s been too long and that she felt like she earned herself a treat. No. If you have $40, your treat could potentially be a McFlurry from the drive thru. Not a manicure
I want to clarify again it’s not like getting a manicure is bad, but prioritizing it when you have $40 to your name is freaking moronic
People who are involved with MLMs I think they are untrustworthy or somewhat dumb.
MLM - mulit-level marketing. Companies like Avon or Herbalife that encourage their employees to recruit people below them in order to make money. You make more money tricking others into signing up as a seller than you do from actually selling the product. It's essentially a pyramid scheme that has somehow managed to stay in the legal grey zone.
Parents who try to convince me to let their kid in a ride when they’re not big enough. Even when I tell them it’s for their own safety and the restraints aren’t designed for smaller people. It’s like they don’t care if their kid gets majorly hurt.
Also parents who force their kids on rides they don’t want to get on. Traumatizing them and making them fear rides in general, but also not realizing that kids OFTEN try to climb out if rides they’re scared of, which is very dangerous!
If you speed up to block someone with their turn signal on, you will be judged.
Good road manners and consideration for one’s fellow motorist tends to cause a positive ripple effect as the person you let into the traffic flow/cross lanes/give way for, etc is likely (in the name of good karma) to extend the same courtesy to another motorist and so on and so forth. Of course some drivers will always be selfish idiots but they’re the exception.
If I go to use the bathroom in their house and it's crusty, dusty, and covered in hair and God knows what else.
Taking video/FaceTime calls walking around the grocery store. Generally any public speaker phone/broadcast of their private sh*t like conversations and music. What the f**k have we come to with the combo of disregard for others and the narcissism?
What they say about their kids in social media. I get that being a parent is hard, and it’s okay to talk/vent/be real about that online, but sometimes people cross the line and talk about their kids as if they’re not real people, just because they’re not grown and don’t have a Facebook account. People should imagine what their kids would think if they were all grown up and reading your internet history. If you think they would be hurt by what you said, don’t post it
People who act like the "anti-hero" in their own story. It seems more people I see these days dont want to be the hero in their own lives but want to be the "complex dark villain with a tragic past and stone cold appearance, but have a heart of gold" it's like no. Dave with your 4 bedroom 2 story house that your parents helped buy after you graduated university, and you now live in with your 2 kids and loving wife, are not an anti-hero and posting things like, "I'm a calm man but mess with me and I will break your bones" does not make you cool or complex.
We are all the protagonist in our own lives. We grow up seeing ourselves as the good guy in order to delude ourselves that we haven't REALLY hurt anyone. Later in life, when you reflect on your behaviour, it is then you find your were the villain in someone else's story
People who can’t get another person’s name right in an email conversation. It’s literally right there in my signature; there’s no excuse for calling me by the wrong name. Drives me crazy. I can sign off with my first name and have it in my signature, and people still reply, 'Hi, [Surname.]' [Screw] those guys. It’s not even a surname that could be mistaken for a first name. It just looks a wee bit foreign, so their brain stops working
I got an email this weekend from a copywriter, and she spelled my name completely wrong. Guess who did not get the job.
I have an acquaintance who posts things about herself In the third person via inspirational memes. For example ( one of ten a week): “ She weathered the storm and trudged through the lightening because the electricity of the pain only ignited her fuel to accomplish more” ( I made that up but you get the picture). I judge this. I think it’s pathetic.
I judge people who link up with people they clearly don't like on social media just to get the +1 to their friends count.
What they name their kids.
When people walk dogs without a leash and then say "my dog is harmless" while the dog is braking or growling.There are people out there who are afraid of dogs but the asshole owners think that every inch of the outside world is theirs
Yes and the "my dog's friendly" crowd. Well mine isn't! There's a reason I have her sit down at your approach and turn my back to you and your friendly dog. Don't blame us if she makes her (very) anti-social feelings known at that point.
Load More Replies...I bumped into an old friend who mentioned in conversation that 'foreign people smell'. I judged and haven't kept in touch. They wouldn't consider themselves racist!
Everyone smells. We just don't notice people who smells we are used to.
Load More Replies...People who worship QAnon and Trump like a religion. Jesus forgave those that put him on the cross. Trump wants only glory and power for himself. He will not look out or care for anyone unless there is something in it for him.
Trumps latest comments, he makes himself sound like a savior...no people, he's a nazi and has quoted Hitler at length. Wake up people!!!
Load More Replies...When people walk dogs without a leash and then say "my dog is harmless" while the dog is braking or growling.There are people out there who are afraid of dogs but the asshole owners think that every inch of the outside world is theirs
Yes and the "my dog's friendly" crowd. Well mine isn't! There's a reason I have her sit down at your approach and turn my back to you and your friendly dog. Don't blame us if she makes her (very) anti-social feelings known at that point.
Load More Replies...I bumped into an old friend who mentioned in conversation that 'foreign people smell'. I judged and haven't kept in touch. They wouldn't consider themselves racist!
Everyone smells. We just don't notice people who smells we are used to.
Load More Replies...People who worship QAnon and Trump like a religion. Jesus forgave those that put him on the cross. Trump wants only glory and power for himself. He will not look out or care for anyone unless there is something in it for him.
Trumps latest comments, he makes himself sound like a savior...no people, he's a nazi and has quoted Hitler at length. Wake up people!!!
Load More Replies...