Seafood is truly a curious case of cuisine. Allegedly, fresh seafood is very good for you (just look at the longevity of people whose diet consists mostly of seafood!), but if you’re not really used to eating it… The case is a very different one. The same goes for seafood puns - it might not be a topic that’s very common, but reading these food puns will have you in stitches. And you know what they say about laughter (even if laughing too much hurts your sides) - it’s good for you! So, here we are with our list of funny seafood puns, which we hope will cause a bout of laughter instead of an allergic reaction.
So, what should you expect from these seafood jokes? Well, octopi, mussels, oysters, shrimp, krill, and all the thrilling things that are associated with it. And even if you are prejudiced that cephalopods and bivalve mollusks aren’t funny - they definitely are, especially when on your plate. Or, in the instance where they’re the main stars of a cute pun or two. So, yeah, these jokes about seafood won’t leave any stones unturned in the search for the most amusing and the funniest puns; you can trust us on this!
But, enough of decapodiformes and their curiosities - it’s time for the funny puns. You know where to find them, for they are exactly where they are supposed to be - just a bit further down. Once you are there, give the most hilarious pun your vote and share this article with your friends!
Fishes usually sleep on water beds.
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When your fish boss is watching, you’d better look e-fish-ent.
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Young shrimp is not popular in Japanese cuisine because of short tempura.
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We should dolphinitely go easy on the fish puns.
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Speaking of being jelly, tunas were really miffed about the whole salmon-ella thing.
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How’s the calamari? Why, it’s ex-squid-sit, thank you.
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What did fish use Tinder?
To find a gill-friend.
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Crabs frantically search for a place to hide so that they can eat alone. I think that's shellfish.
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The best job for a crab is being a crab driver.
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During Christmas, Santa Claws brings presents to young crabs.
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When a crab eats too much it feels clawful!
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The kind of helmets that hermit crabs wear are shell-mets.
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The crustacean was really unhappy because his wife was being crabby.
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A fish's favorite TV Show is 'Whale of Fortune'.
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A fish's favorite activity is to surf the net.
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Some people don't really like puns about fish, but they are kraken me up!
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There is one piece of advice I swear by. Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
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I don't think I should buy from the seafood market here. There isn't salmon I can trust.
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Ribs become seafood when you go to a so-fish-ticated restaurant.
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Whenever I see food, I eat it because I am on a seafood diet.
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I cannot eat shellfish that have been steamed in water. I have shellfish steamed issues.
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The young shrimp left his job because it was a tempurary role.
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Crabs usually call their friends on a shell phone.
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You can tuna fish by adjusting their scales.
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You should not be making a-trout-cious fish puns. They are of-fin-sive.
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My dad quit being a fisherman because his net income was very low.
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When jellyfish act catty, it’s only because they’re jelly.
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You can’t expect a squid to answer a tough question without inking about it first.
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Why do most people dislike anchovies?
Because they’re a little fishy.
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What did the dentist say to the super-anxious shark?
Jaws relax.
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It was a great oppor-tuna-ty to try new fish!
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I love seafood so much. I think it's fintastic.
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The shrimp could easily afford to buy a new house because he prawned everything.
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Crabs get around on land by using the sidewalk.
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The crab and lobster never share their food because they are shellfish!
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A crab answers the phone by saying "Shello?"
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The crab refused to speak a single word after it went through acute trauma. It was completely shell shocked.
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When the baby shark did not have his way with things, he whaled.
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A fish with a brain condition should always visit a brain sturgeon.
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When a fish is confused, it says, "can you please be a little more pacific?"
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When two fish were arguing, one said, "I don't sea it that way!"
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Fishes don't like basketball because they are scared of the net!
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What’s the only right answer when a salmon asks you for a light?
I didn’t know you smoked, salmon.
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I never should have gone to the fishy store. I got prawned.
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If anybody steals fish from the store the boss will make them walk the plankton.
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When the fish's grades came, his teacher said "Not bad, but you cod do better."
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Fish puns are all I have been herring about.
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When you mix a fish and a banker, you get a loan-shark.
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To make an octopus laugh, you need to give it ten-tickles.
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I have not thought of a fish pun yet. Seems like I need some time to mullet over?
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I am running out of fish puns. I cannot find any betta ones.
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We have no time to address fishcious rumors. We have better fish to fry.
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DJ's are banned from working in fish markets because they always drop the bass.
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We whaley need to stop now! We've had too much pun.
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If you can come up with better fish puns, do let minnow.
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A fish's favorite TV Show is 'Tuna Half Men.'
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What did you think of the series fin-ale?
Well, it wasn’t the bass-ed.
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What’s the one fish that 40 percent of all Americans are afraid of?
Clownfish.
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How do fish encourage their college kids?
Any fin is possible, just don’t trout yourself!
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I went to the ocean disco last night but I hurt myself. I must have pulled a mussel.
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I heard about the fight that broke out in the seafood restaurant. There was battered fish everywhere.
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I never should have eaten seafood at that fishy place. I feel eel.
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When I went to eat at the seafood eatery, I thought I saw my old friend. But it was salmon else.
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When the baby tuna fish was asked his age, he replied, "I am tuna half."
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A favorite party game of fishes is 'Salmon says.'
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I hated the clownfish that they served in the restaurant. It tasted funny.
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The fish chef did not listen to any criticism because he was hard of herring.
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The Rock's favorite seafood is a rock lobster.
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I made a lot of fish eye soup. It will sea me through the week.
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Seafood is really healthy because it is good for the mussels.
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A shrimp usually goes to borrow money from a prawn broker.
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A necessity while cooking prawns in the kitchen is a-ron.
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An indecisive prawn is so tempuramental.
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A crab that throws things is called a lobster.
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When a crab gets a smartphone they take lots of shellfies.
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A crab's favorite fruit is Crab Apples!
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When you cross a shellfish and an apple, it becomes a crab.
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A meditating crab in self-isolation is called a hermit crab.
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A crab who is afraid of small spaces is claw-strophobic.
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When the aquarium fish wanted more space, he told the others, "I want to discus something with you all."
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A dolphin's favorite type of flour is all-porpoise flour.
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The fishes crossed the sea to get to the other tide.
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What did one fish say to the other when they met after a while?
"Long time no sea!"
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Fishes need a lot of vitamin sea to stay healthy.
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Any fin is possible if you trout your gut!
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The fish couple made their wedding news o-fish-al.
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The fisherman who couldn't read was lost at C.
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A lone fish after a disaster is called the sole survivor.
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The Lochness monster's favorite thing to eat is fish-n-ships.
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A fisherman can never be a good boxer. All he throws are hooks.
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Fishes who live at the bottom of the ocean are the ones who dropped out of school.
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The bigmouth bass who got caught by a fisherman is now in a boatload of trouble.
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The most expensive fish in the market is goldfish.
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Just like the tunafish sandwich said, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in cans-us anymore.
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Hey, would you mind letting minnow what you think about this one?
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The thing about calamari is you can never tell when it’s just squidding.
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When a fish meets the love of their life, they say they’ve “met the gill of my dreams.”
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Crayfish were offended by the publication of Eat Cray Love because they felt the lack of punctuation might send the wrong message.
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Isn’t it a bit misleading to call thinly sliced raw beef carp-accio?
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The thing salmons don’t like about tunas is everything’s a big sea-cret.
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How do shellfish take photos?
With a clam-era.
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What was the Russia Tsar’s favorite type of fish?
Tsardines!
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I went to the seafood mart but the employees seemed fishy.
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A blind person was eating see-food but it did not help.
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The most blessed seafood is holy mackerel.
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There are countless good plaices to eat seafood at.
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I hate people who crack seafood site jokes. Seems like they are fishing for laughs.
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A shrimp that keeps getting hurt is accident prawn.
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Crabs love to shellabrate on their birthday.
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The crab buffet came with so many restrictions. I should have read the claws before paying for it.
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Fishes usually go to learn at the school of fish.
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The fish student got bad grades in his school because it was below C level!
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One way to make a fish laugh to tell a whale of a tale.
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When fishes leave they usually wave goodbye.
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The fishes hated going to the beach because it was so un-tidey.
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Oh my cod, I laugh so hard when someone cracks a seafood joke.
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The fish puns were so funny, they were krilling me with laughter!
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The fish that go to heaven are angelfish.
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A celebrity fish is called a star-fish.
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I am hoping to avoid turtle disaster.
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I'm hooked with making fish puns now, but I am still not quite up to scale.
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When the two fish became friends, it seemed that they were swimming along nicely.
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All I can sea are bass-ically the cod awful fish puns!
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To communicate with a fish you haven't met in ages, you should drop a line.
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When a fish is hyperventilating due to anxiety, clam it down.
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Never fall in love with a blowfish. You’ll always get re-puffed.
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When another fish tries to make you think you’re cray-zy, tell them to stop bass-lighting.
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Never try to talk to a fish before they’ve caf-fin-ated.
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Why isn’t the bachelor fish married?
Because he has fin-timacy issues.
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Most fish will tell you that they like their food cold…
And their bait a little worm.
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A seafood delivery truck should actually be called a school bus.
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When crabs go to coffee shops, they usually order a cup of crab-uccino!
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Crabs usually leave the hospital on crotches after treatment!
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Crabs only prefer just a pinch of salt in their food.
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If you’re going for roe-mance, then you’ll want to consider the caviar.
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Lobsters would get along a lot better with the other shellfish if they weren’t always trying to lobster things up.
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