That message is both heartbreaking and sweet.

Penny, Penny, Penny

When auto correct know you're a redneck

I wonder where violating a hippo is a thing! (Yes I know it's an autocorrect fail)

At least he's honest. This is why you always have emergency Styrofoam plates and plastic silverware.

A fullfilling day...

Midnight on Friday the 13th. Venus was in retrograde and there was a full moon.

It's going to be just fine.

If that's true she better know right away..

Has this awful roleplay shít *ever* worked?

Iwould like to see some idiot dressed as batman delivering food. And I would give a tip too.

UNALIVE ME 💀

Unsleep me before you go go 🎶

Unhorny me all night long!

This must be the BP censor guy!

Guys, I'm unworking ALL DAY tomorrow!!!

I feel like I have done this before though

If texting was a thing in Orwell's "1984".

The last line here is just not ok. I curse like a sailor & am not offended at the work. I assume this is a non native speaker. They don't know grammar until they learn it. That does not make them a "f***** d*****"

I think the first one is actually correct. The brain has to induce wake up hormones for us to wake up, making sleep the primary condition in a nutshell.

BP is posting this as a joke?? I mean [unalived], [made love]

Now I want to know what Fg dumbas are. /S

And after i unalseep you, can I uneducate you too?

I'm in

If only there was some way of colouring a person’s hair artificially. And if only this was widely available in all shops, and commonly practised by human adults. But, alas, this is not the case and the argument is watertight.

That is one aßshole landlord

Definitely going to try this... :D

Gone without a Trace

Oops.

take the hint leave them alone lol

guy dodged a bullet there

WTF?!

Hi *high

No Aaron, you're the cringe one here, a woman rejects you and then you start whining about how women are always choosing a-holes. Get a life.

Some of the drivers are real a$$es.

Torn between "don't catfish people" and "what a legend"

Well that wasn't what I expected 😮

It worked! :D

Google salmon shooter. It's a device to shoot salmon over a damn so they can finish their journey to spawn. Doesn't harm the fish.

I wonder if anyone felt like that when I was playing Farmville.

That is one hell of an autocorrect

Reply to dad: well, drag it out of there!

"So do I because you sound like the perfect man!"

Noooooooo!!!

My mom dated a guy who did not like music. The only movie he would watch was American Graffiti over and over. He tried to throw my mom in a tree once when he was upset. I am conviced bro was 100% an extraterrestrial. If someone does not like music be suspicious.

It kills me that guys actually say and do stupid stuff like this.

Oh well, at least the person suffering rough times knows who to not pay any more attention to before the REALLY break their heart.

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A healthy relationship 💀

Hint hint hint

Spoken like a true incel