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40 Science Jokes For The Hidden Nerd Inside You

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Disheveled hair, coke bottle glasses, suspiciously off-white scrubs, and not a single grain of humor—do you still have this notion in your mind when thinking about scientists? Well, not only are they actually perfectly capable of combing their hair and washing their lab coats, but more often than not, they could blow you away with their clever jokes. You know, in reality, having the smarts relates closely to having a great sense of humor! Although their science jokes might be a bit nerdy, a bit kooky, or hardly understandable without some scientific background, they are nevertheless close to genius. Some of them cover the life achievements of famous scientists, others make subtle fun of Mendeleev’s table of elements and some are purely based on some rather suspicious sciency terms. A joke for everyone, really!

For instance, while helium is already inherently funny (just look at helium balloons… aren’t they just amazing and hilarious at the same time?) it’s still even more fun when there’s a clever pun or two attached to the name. Or how about Pavlov’s experiments—are you already salivating for a joke (ba-dum tss)? Let’s not forget such curiosities as minerals, the wondrous qualities of neutrons, or even mysterious parallel universes—how exciting is that!?

To awaken your inner scientist, or to gloat about just how smart you are for getting each of these jokes, scroll just a bit further down to see our list of hand-picked science jokes. We do not guarantee that you will be able to put your phone down after you’ve finished, since there are quite a few instances where helium is mentioned. Get it? Anyway, just have a go at these smart jokes, vote for the ones that you liked the best, and share this article with your friends, neighbors, and the girl you once met.

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#1

40 Science Jokes For The Hidden Nerd Inside You Why don’t aliens visit our Solar System?

They read the reviews – just one star.

230points

Lydia Owen the Bi-tch 2 years ago

I love this one

24points

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#2

I was going to tell a joke about sodium, but Na.

166points

GlipGlop 2 years ago

Ha nailed it

10points

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#3

A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
“What do we want?”
“Time travel.”
“When do we want it?”
“Irrelevant.”

157points

ShriSha Kamboj 2 years ago

will come back with a comment in near future....or past

31points

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#4

40 Science Jokes For The Hidden Nerd Inside You How much room do fungi need to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

149points

Scagsy 2 years ago

Actually made a chuckle a bit.

17points

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#5

What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

142points

Julie moreau quilliou 2 years ago

This one is great

19points

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#6

There are only bad science jokes left.

All the good ones argon.

136points

Adom Lee 2 years ago

This one should've opened the article 😆

25points

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#7

Do you know the name Pavlov?

It rings a bell.

135points

RK Barbo 2 years ago

Why am I drooling?

66points

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#8

What does one tectonic plate say when it bumps into another?

“Sorry. My fault!”

127points

Mad Dragon 2 years ago

"No, it's OUR fault!."

18points

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#9

There’s a new theory on inertia, but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

122points

Suleiman Ahmad 2 years ago

Oh my god!

13points

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#10

40 Science Jokes For The Hidden Nerd Inside You How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!

122points

Suleiman Ahmad 2 years ago

Everytime, blame it on the hardware!

16points

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#11

If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0.

115points

Shawn Bean 2 years ago

Okay, I'm stealing this one! 😁

29points

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#12

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.

115points

Buren 2 years ago

Poor chemist, I wonder about the reaction

47points

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#13

There are 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary and those who don’t.

112points

Fat Harry 2 years ago

There are two types of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data

55points

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#14

40 Science Jokes For The Hidden Nerd Inside You Why did the bacteria fail the math test?

He thought multiplication was the same as division.

105points

Marco Conti 2 years ago

Cleverer than it sounds at first.

18points

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#15

What does a subatomic duck say?

Quark.

104points

tuzdayschild 2 years ago

Ha! I finally guessed one.

2points

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#16

What did one decimal say to the number?

“Did you get my point?”

103points

chessandroll 2 years ago

- Do you like my fractional part? -That's besides the point

19points

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#17

They have just found the gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes.

96points

CJ M 2 years ago

That’s not a joke that’s true tho… the first result on google never lies, right?

10points

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#18

40 Science Jokes For The Hidden Nerd Inside You Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

93points

Esees 2 years ago

Sure, but not ok

5points

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#19

An infectious disease walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.”
It replies, “Well, you’re not a very good host.”

92points

Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey 2 years ago

my favorite

10points

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#20

One mouse to another: “Look at that fellow with a white coat on. Whenever I push the paddle, he starts writing something!”

85points

Doc Thissen 2 years ago

Don't forget: The mice are the ones conducting experiments on humans.

27points

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#21

I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

84points

Oerff On Tour 2 years ago

I feel just the same way

16points

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#22

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

82points

Josh 2 years ago

This one actually made me smile

12points

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#23

40 Science Jokes For The Hidden Nerd Inside You What kind of dog does a scientist have?

A lab.

76points

ZAPanda 2 years ago

What kind of dog does walter white have? A meth lab.

23points

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#24

When the astronomy department found out their famous professor wouldn’t get the Nobel prize this year, they decided to hold a party for him anyway. They gave him a constellation prize.

74points

s. vitkovitsky 2 years ago

*groan*

9points

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#25

I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I probably won’t get a reaction.

74points

GlipGlop 2 years ago

Activation energy's too high, find a catalyst

18points

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#26

Why didn’t the sun go to graduate school?

Because it already had a million degrees!

73points

Charles Bosse 2 years ago

Must have gone to school with all the characters on Bones.

15points

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#27

A physicist, while exiting the theater after seeing Star Wars, bumped into a fellow physicist.
Inspired by the movie, he blurted to his friend, “May the mass times acceleration be with you.”

71points

Kija 2 years ago

Lmao

5points

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#28

40 Science Jokes For The Hidden Nerd Inside You A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”

70points

#29

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The engineer sees a glass two times too large.

67points

Robert T 2 years ago

"twice the size it needs to be" - precision is required in this joke!

40points

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#30

What do you call a rude acid?

A meano-acid.

66points

mamadeflorencia 2 years ago

ha ha ha ha! Almost a Dad joke!

12points

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#31

What did the proton say to the electron to start a fight?

I’m sick of your negativity.

65points

Who Panda 420 2 years ago

Jeez I hear this all the time too

3points

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#32

40 Science Jokes For The Hidden Nerd Inside You Nine sodium atoms walk into a bar…

Then in comes Batman!

62points

Damon Tripodi 2 years ago

Uh-oh can someone explain this one to me?

5points

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#33

A hug without u is like Mercury.

Hg.

62points

Charles Bosse 2 years ago

My heart suddenly feels heavy...

15points

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#34

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

59points

Lukyan Terdal 2 years ago

Classic.

8points

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#35

What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?

Pull down its genes.

58points

Who Panda 420 2 years ago

That doesn't always work in this day and age LOL

0points

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#36

What did the 30-degree angle say to the 90-degree angle?

You think you’re always right!

57points

Robert T 2 years ago

And the 90-degree angle replied, "oh, you're acute!".

17points

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#37

What do scientists get for bad breath?

Experi-mints!

56points

Who Panda 420 2 years ago

Love to see this as a mentos commercial.

5points

#38

40 Science Jokes For The Hidden Nerd Inside You What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

52points

Kija 2 years ago

Made me crackkk

4points

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#39

Have you heard that entropy isn’t what it used to be?

51points

Suleiman Ahmad 2 years ago

Well, every damn system tends to disorderliness

5points

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#40

Why is quantum mechanics is the original “original hipster”?

It described the universe before it was cool.

50points

Charles Bosse 2 years ago

This one needs edited for grammer, but in concept I like it

11points

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Note: this post originally had 168 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.

Saimonas Lukošius

Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts.

Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Jurgita Dominauskaitė

Having started as a content creator that made articles for Bored Panda from scratch I climbed my way up to being and editor and then had team lead responsibilities added as well. So it was a pretty natural transition from writing articles and titles as well as preparing the visual part for the articles to making sure others are doing those same tasks as I did before well, answering their questions and guiding them when needed. Eventually I realized editing gives me the most enjoyment and I'm focusing only on that right now.

Having started as a content creator that made articles for Bored Panda from scratch I climbed my way up to being and editor and then had team lead responsibilities added as well. So it was a pretty natural transition from writing articles and titles as well as preparing the visual part for the articles to making sure others are doing those same tasks as I did before well, answering their questions and guiding them when needed. Eventually I realized editing gives me the most enjoyment and I'm focusing only on that right now.

What do you think ?

Charles Bosse 2 years ago

Missing my all time favorite nerd joke: What do you get if you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito? (Not a rappelling bloodsucker!) ... Nothing, you can't cross a scaler with a vector. Hey, look, you chose to scroll to the bottom. :P

7points

Ghosts 2 years ago

Even correct grammar wouldn't fix that monstrosity.

-2points

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Summer Mason 2 years ago (edited)

Kinda related. My daughter loves animals. She walked into my room the other day and asked me blank faced....where do you take a sick horse. I said vet. She made the "buzzer for wrong" sound and said a horsepital. I almost pist my drink out laughing. She's only 7.

6points

Firstname Lastname 2 years ago

It's articles like this where I wish I could just upvote the entire thing with a single button to signify I want more posts like this.

4points

Vicky Z 2 years ago

There is a button like this at the end of every post right above the author's name

1point

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Charles Bosse 2 years ago

Missing my all time favorite nerd joke: What do you get if you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito? (Not a rappelling bloodsucker!) ... Nothing, you can't cross a scaler with a vector. Hey, look, you chose to scroll to the bottom. :P

7points

Ghosts 2 years ago

Even correct grammar wouldn't fix that monstrosity.

-2points

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Summer Mason 2 years ago (edited)

Kinda related. My daughter loves animals. She walked into my room the other day and asked me blank faced....where do you take a sick horse. I said vet. She made the "buzzer for wrong" sound and said a horsepital. I almost pist my drink out laughing. She's only 7.

6points

Firstname Lastname 2 years ago

It's articles like this where I wish I could just upvote the entire thing with a single button to signify I want more posts like this.

4points

Vicky Z 2 years ago

There is a button like this at the end of every post right above the author's name

1point

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