This needs to be way hi er

Pure gold.

I had a 90 years old professor emeritus when I went to university, he didn't want to retire because his wife was a "talker" . He had one class a week and the rest of the time he was napping in his office.

awww, what a supportive little bro

Now teach them to say "nevermore".

😂

Believable.

Very specific and pretty accurate, well done

Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons

🤔

Now I need something to help fold them when they're clean & need to be put neatly in the cupboard

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OMG! This is hilarious!

Oh, how deeply I hope both of these are true - especially the second one.

happiest thing i've seen today oml

Ha ha

This is otterly cool and adorable

Yeah, but have you seen swans in their non-cuddly phase? It isn't very pretty. Don't ask me to explain; I had a bad experience once.

Paradoxes abound!

And not only would you machine have to travel in time but in space as well. The Earth travels approximately 584 million miles (940 million kilometers) in one year as it orbits the Sun. Over 30 years, the Earth would travel about 17.52 billion miles (28.2 billion kilometers) in its orbit around the Sun. Additionally, the Earth moves through the Milky Way galaxy at about 515,000 miles per hour (829,000 kilometers per hour), resulting in an additional distance traveled of roughly 1.41 billion miles (2.27 billion kilometers) over 30 years. Therefore, combining both motions, the Earth would travel a total distance of approximately 18.93 billion miles (30.47 billion kilometers) in space over 30 years.

Yes, that sounds right on the point.

sitting on the pair of docks on the bay

An excellent concept!

Bro, loved the future too much

I had to re-read it...

YES! I get so annoyed when people say "kids aren't taught this in school" bc in most cases, we are, people just don't pay frigging attention

I freakin’ love the British 😂💕

Cat trap

I'm stealing this

Omfg 😂

Best. Parents. Ever.

My mum did this, but with one of her perfumes (Sung by Alfred Sung). Now that I’m adult it’s my main perfume too because it makes me feel nice and cozy when I smell it.

Mine does this. All the time. And, guess what? I go to bed.

Like my brain when I get stressed.

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I used a bidet once with the coldest temperature by accident. Man, I hit the high notes for days.

Oof

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I understand it...sort of. Just let me get another glass of wine.

I suspect my horses to use the same technique, I keep getting ads from the feed shop.

You mean that isn't how they make tiramisu?!

*puts my body out with the bins*

Fat bottom girls, you make the rockin world go round 🎶

Oh, deer. Good thing Santa staged that intervention before the bullying got out of hand.

Ya kind looks that way

now put some witch legs with red slippers sticking out from underneath

Was trying to pull the blanket over me last night but it was stuck. Turns out my cat was snuggled up in it.

Tell her to do another one, just to make sure.

They'll be getting them in braille soon.

Nature learned new knitting patterns

But did you pass?

Where's the slot to insert my CD/DVD?

VINDICATION every underachiever can savor!