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The internet has done a lot of things, not least it’s proven that if something exists, it can be made into a meme. After all, if something exists, it can be perceived, and that comes with a whole host of relatable and often pretty funny observations.
The “Science Funnies Page” FB page is dedicated to hilarious memes and posts that are as funny as they are, sometimes, educational. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments below.
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#1
Hoi-Polloi 11 months ago
Yes, but ... the point of the meme is that mongrel gold is also valuable!
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P R 11 months ago
We need to find and use another name/label for the type of person you're referring to. Most of us know an actual person named Karen who is a nice, decent person. This concept applies to other actual-person names that are used for disagreeable, negative things, bodily functions, etc. How would you feel if "a Deborah" became a common phrase used to describe something obnoxious?
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
Well, the British Shorthair is an official breed of purebred cat, so... I guess yeah XD Though it is EXTREMELY rare that purebred cats would end up in a shelter (and it's unlikely they'd still have their pedigrees, so you could no longer prove they actually were a purebred without it.)
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Binky Melnik 10 months ago
I don’t like purebreds for health reasons. I cannot STAND watching an animal suffer because someone bred him for “aesthetics.” I wanted to smack my sister on the skull with a shovel when she introduced her pug to me. I spent the next 48 hours trying to think of ways to help him breathe that didn’t involve my doing surgery with silverware. Just peacefully taking a nap, every inhalation sounded as if it were his last as he seemed to be suffocating. I decided not to tell her her damned dog was uglier than the things he left outside “doing his business.” I can’t understand what motivates someone to create an ungodly ugly animal who’ll spend his entire life suffering. GIVE ME ALL THE DNA! I want a healthy animal who’s HAPPY TO BE ALIVE, not plotting ways to get hit by a car to end his suffering.
RELATED:
#2
Binky Melnik 10 months ago (edited)
The dog on the right always, ALWAYS makes wet stuff fly out of my nose and splatter onto my iPad*. He looks a bit crazy, but by that I mean crazy in love, or crazy about having his fantastic family, or perhaps crazy to have ANY family! Every now and then, I also think he looks as if he spotted what his brother is doing and thinks, “Holy c**p! I wish I’d thought to kiss him, too!” That dorg makes me think these things every. time. I. see. it. Terrific photo! * Sometimes, if I have a mouthful of Pepsi or Nutrament, those things either fly out of my nose onto the iPad, or else they go down the wrong pipe. Whatever; I see this photo and liquid creates some kinda problem!
#3
Pernille 11 months ago
I had a 90 years old professor emeritus when I went to university, he didn't want to retire because his wife was a "talker" . He had one class a week and the rest of the time he was napping in his office.
Lene 11 months ago
Had a teacher at the uni that I was certain would be AT LEAST 70yo. Turned out he was in his mid-60s. Since the 1970s his nickname among the students had been "stonedead" (his actual last name was Stendal) because he had this tendency to frequently stop mid-sentence and close his eyes for a second or two and then he'd open his eyes and just continue talking as if nothing happened. He was extremely fond of maps, especially maps related to farming. He was super sweet, though, and my fav teacher. He just aged waaaay too fast lol. Oh and he was a board member at Denmark's only potato museum (it's a lovely little museum, btw).
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Abel 11 months ago
Maybe unrelated, but I guess there are two kind of teachers. The good ones and (you remember them) the bad ones. I think teaching, like working in medicine is something vocational. What I wanted to say with this is that you can be 80yo but if your mind and body works you can teach.
ElfVibratorGlitter 11 months ago
I had one of the best professors. I took him freshman year for an anthropology class. He was in his 80s and wore the best tweed blazers with the elbow patches. I ended up taking every one of his classes he taught over a few semesters. Ended up with a minor in anthropology because he was just amazing and I LOVED his classes. I did actually keep in touch with him for a while, but he's no longer alive. Rip Professor Foltz.
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Chicken Mitten 11 months ago
Lol. I had a professor like this. He'd ramble and ramble through the lectures then go back to his office and talk to the TA. About halfway through the semester, I have the highest grade in the class. Turns out he'd talk to the TA about what would be tested on, but fail to deliver the same information to the lecture. I was dating the TA who'd help me study. Easiest physics class I ever took!
Rich Black 11 months ago
The ryan gosling reboot of Indiana Jones was shelved after blade runner 2049 got mixed reviews.
Morton Isaacs 11 months ago
I had an olld professor in graduate school who meandered all over: his summer vacations, his dog, etc. and I hated that class. I became a college professor and at the age of 70 I said to myself "Do you want to be remembered the way he is?" and of course the answer was "NO", so I retired then while still knowing what I was doing and fairly up-to-date in my lecturing.
#4
Michael Largey 11 months ago
Can't support little bro. OP dumped the bf, not the other was around. You don't shoot the wounded.
Wondering Alice 11 months ago
When OP says 'I broke up with' it doesn't necessarily mean they did the dumping, simply that they are no longer together. I can see why you may infer that, but it's not an uncommon way to refer to a brake up in a more neutral way.
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Amber White 11 months ago
That right there is a story for EVERY christmas…. or at least the wedding day should it come for the faithful little guy.
LuisSD stuff 11 months ago (edited)
Just shows you how much he loves you...by burning down your ex's town.
#5
Deborah 11 months ago
Crows are very, very smart. Be nice to them. And slightly off topic, I think pet cats should be indoor cats only, it can be very dangerous for a variety of reasons for them to be out wandering around.
Untamed Snark 11 months ago
My cats are allowed on my secure balcony, if I had a garden they'd have a secure cat run, but they will never be free range kitties, it is safer for everyone.
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Abel 11 months ago
Cows = Vacas , Crows= Cuervos. Creo que te has hecho la picha un lio. Picha= Penis and lio= mess. No me des dislikes, porfa!
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Rinso The Red 11 months ago
Crows are related to Myna birds and can do some pretty amazing mimicry. We had pet crow as a kid and it would laugh, imitate the dog barking, etc.
Dan St John 11 months ago
I have one that only clucks like a chicken, I feed daily. He really cracks me up. He sits on the fence and clucks until I bring out food.
SarahJaina 11 months ago
There's a crow that lives my garage, when I walk by it says "C'mere you!" in this clear voice, it took me forever to figure out where the voice was coming from! Sounds like a real person, I've tried bargaining with crackers, but it still beccons?
Verena 11 months ago
= living on or near OPs property. I have two families, each in one of the two dead chimneys.
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#6
Forrest Hobbs 11 months ago
Second edition - available here. Yep, that's page 252 all right: https://users.softlab.ntua.gr/~sivann/books/LaTeX%20-%20User's%20Guide%20and%20Reference%20Manual-lamport94.pdf
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Eppe 11 months ago
When you type 'recursion' in google, spelled correctly, it says 'Did you mean: recursion'.
Deborah 11 months ago
I get this a lot, for a variety of words. One reason I usually use DuckDuckGo.
Load More Replies... Forrest Hobbs 11 months ago
I recognise the markup: that's the (or an...) index from a book dealing with the LaTeX document preparation system. IYKYK. If not: https://www.latex-project.org/about/ and/or https://www.tug.org/begin.html and may the Lord have mercy on your soul. 😉 (LaTeX is something between a lunatic's programming language and a supercharged word processor; you may quote me on that)
#7
XenoMurph 11 months ago
In the snow and ice, take your teenagers to an empty parking lot and teach them how to skid, and how not to. Knowing how to drive on ice and snow might save them.
Joe Reaves 11 months ago
My driving instructor tried that. He could not get the car to skid lol.
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Michael Largey 11 months ago
The penallty is the same in both cases - certain and immediate death.
iBlank 11 months ago
as a Northerner, what are they even talking about... biscuits, sweet tea, gravy??
April Pickett 11 months ago
It's a church social. She's taking biscuits because everyone loves her biscuits, sweet tea is the preferred non-alcoholic drink in the South (lots and lots of sugar), gravy because someone is bringing fried chicken and you need the gravy to dip the chicken and the biscuits.
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Marilyn Holt 11 months ago
hey this needs to be given even to Northeners who drive in the snow every year
#8
#9
VikingAbroad 11 months ago
The scientific explanation is, that the lost socks of the washing machine reincarnates as tupperware lids, that doesn't match any of the containers.
Deborah 11 months ago
I periodically clean out the cabinet where I keep my food storage containers. It always seem to get more crowded. Sometimes there are more lids than container, sometimes more containers than lids, and then there are the containers and lids that are a different size than anything I remember owning.
Yvonne Blau 11 months ago
It's the other way round in my house... lots of containers and the lids have all vanished into wherever
#11
Agfox 11 months ago
Now I need something to help fold them when they're clean & need to be put neatly in the cupboard
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
If you scronch the fitted sheet REALLY hard between your hands, it will squish down into a mostly flat ball that fits nicely into the cupboard. No need for folding ;)
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Roni Stone 11 months ago
WHY DO THEY NEVER DO THIS??? WHY??? IS LIFE NOT DIFFICULT ENOUGH!!!???
Deborah 11 months ago
Has anyone in the history of fitted sheets ever been able to neatly fold them?
Yvonne Blau 11 months ago
Nope. And the instruction videos on how to do it just drive me nuts.
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Papa 11 months ago
I learned something on YouTube that helps. Put one corner on the mattress, then go to the diagonally opposite corner and do that one. Then the other two (in no particular order). I can't explain the science behind it, but this definitely makes it easier.
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Sergio Bicerra 11 months ago
The last two sheets i bought (not same brand) have the tag on the long side if it any help.
7624c8r7xy 10 months ago
These are probably Brooklinen sheets - I LOVE them! They stay crisp and the "directions" are invaluable!
Gregg Bender 10 months ago
They are impossible to fold unless you can access at least two more dimensions.
Christina A Davis 10 months ago
The sheets I buy have a tag that say, "top or bottom" on each end.
#12
Mary Peace 10 months ago
I can only find mine because it's at the bottom of the screen. And I only have a quarter as many other things to compete with it.
John Hopkins 10 months ago
If it was for some I know, I am fairly sure they still wouldn't know....
#13
Lotekguy 11 months ago
Oh, how deeply I hope both of these are true - especially the second one.
E. Hamilton 11 months ago (edited)
It's true. Well documented. Various attempts have been attempted to replicate it, with varying success. Mostly in the form of pranks on professors that dress the same. Google bird training and you will see there is a never ending list of examples of people knowingly and unknowingly training birds. My favorite is crows using traffic to break nuts open, or training crowns to pick up trash.
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#14
#15
Holly Herr 10 months ago
Busted a gut laughing cos I did NOT see that coming!🤣
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Who am I, where am I 10 months ago
I for real turned 61 YO today, as I was reading this I was thinking they're trying to kill us or make us look bada$$ enough to never get mugged over 60
#16
Ralph Vanloton 11 months ago
How could you did such a cute and clever thing? Such a bonding moment!
#17
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 11 months ago
Yeah, but have you seen swans in their non-cuddly phase? It isn't very pretty. Don't ask me to explain; I had a bad experience once.
Feathered Dinosaur 11 months ago
That's what you'll get for annoying a raptor
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Barong 11 months ago
Came here to say to say the same thing but you beat me to it.
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Apachebathmat 11 months ago
This isn’t normal for them, in a park by me there were two gay swans trying to hatch a plastic bottle near a path, they had to be relocated as they just attacked anyone that walked remotely near them.
m6nbtfpx7q 11 months ago
I really need a swan hug. How do I go about getting one and not being attacked?
Spark 11 months ago
Try Swan Lake - just avoid the black swan. The four little ones seem quite friendly.
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WindySwede 11 months ago
Didn't he just leave his timeliness and created a new one? There are at least one YT explanation on this. And I'm not sure I've remember it correctly..
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keyboardtek 11 months ago
And not only would you machine have to travel in time but in space as well. The Earth travels approximately 584 million miles (940 million kilometers) in one year as it orbits the Sun. Over 30 years, the Earth would travel about 17.52 billion miles (28.2 billion kilometers) in its orbit around the Sun. Additionally, the Earth moves through the Milky Way galaxy at about 515,000 miles per hour (829,000 kilometers per hour), resulting in an additional distance traveled of roughly 1.41 billion miles (2.27 billion kilometers) over 30 years. Therefore, combining both motions, the Earth would travel a total distance of approximately 18.93 billion miles (30.47 billion kilometers) in space over 30 years.
Kabuki Kitsune 11 months ago
Hmm. This actually would handle the paradox that might come from a person traveling forward in time. Since the discovery would mean that your time machine was good for only moving forward, and you wouldn't have to deal with the possible paradoxes that might happen if you returned to your own time with future knowledge.
Parmeisan 11 months ago (edited)
Based on some very complicated physics that I only understood for one semester in University, travelling backward in time would require moving faster than the speed of light and (unless physics is wrong about something in all those equations), that isn't possible. However, travelling forward in time faster than the usual one-second-per-second is not ruled out by the same math. (Not that this stops me from enjoying stories about time travel.)
Load More Replies... Brian Droste 11 months ago
I would like to time travel in the past and do things differently correct things I wish I didn't do.
XenoMurph 11 months ago
You'd have to kill your younger self and take their place
Load More Replies... Rich Black 11 months ago
This actually how time travel works. It's one way.."You can't go home again"
#19
char 11 months ago
YES! I get so annoyed when people say "kids aren't taught this in school" bc in most cases, we are, people just don't pay frigging attention
Susie Elle 11 months ago
Well, to be honest, even if I were paying attention, I can't recall and recite EVERYTHING I've been taught over the span of five years.
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Wintermute 11 months ago
Or "People never talk about [insert subject that people are absolutely talking about], so what are they trying to hide?!" then go on a conspiracy rant. Like, if you don't read medical journals, then you don't know what they're talking about in medicine. Don't read astronomy journals, same goes. History? Same. And guess what? That's absolutely okay. You don't have to be a part of every discussion, but that doesn't mean it's someone else's fault that you're ignorant about it.
Nosirrow 11 months ago
My pupils have the situational awareness of a sloth. Plus, too lenient parents taught them to say everything that pops into their heads. They can't shut up. They interrupt everyone bc they think they're the most important.
RedMarbles 11 months ago
Upvote for "situational awareness of a sloth." 😅
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Rastilabo 11 months ago
"Olit sitte röökillä pyörävajan takana". Finnish for "you were having a smoke behind the bike shed".
Cole Earnhart 11 months ago
You! Yes, You behind the bike sheds. Stand still laddy!
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 11 months ago
There are many things I wasn't taught about in school. Because they didn't exist until half a century later.
Marilyn Holt 11 months ago
When I was teaching in a community college, a student who had missed a class (or two) would often come to me and say, "Did I miss anything yesterday?"
Suby 11 months ago
I cannot get my high schoolers to put a period at the end of a sentence or capitalize the first word. I know their elementary teachers taught them that.
Michael Largey 11 months ago (edited)
When I graded essay tests (in my math classes), my students realized that capital letters were important. Capital letters like G, P, A, ...
Load More Replies... Wondering Alice 11 months ago
Kids often tell me schools don't teach them what they will need like Taxes. No way they think this on their own, it's from looking at online memes. First of all, it is taught, but in on of those non assessed classes easy to ignore. Secondly, the main skill is percentages - which is taught every year. Thirdly - and most importantly - they live in the UK, most of them will never need to know (and if you ever wanted to check, the info is right there on a pay slip and a 2 minute calculation if you get percentages is enough). Much like there are some Americans not realising the whole world is not the same, there are UK kids looking at the internet and not realising it doesn't apply to them.
Tim Douglass 10 months ago
School should *not* teach how to do taxes (even in the US). What the schools should teach is how to read, understand, think, and calculate. Then you just follow the published directions on how to file your taxes. As an added bonus you can use those skills to create a budget, or learn how to fix your dryer, or decide which loan is a better deal, or any of a million other things that you wouldn't know how to do it you were taught "how to do taxes". School is for learning the fundamental skills, application is your problem.
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Stuey Bassfish 11 months ago
Ex-teacher here. So true. 99% of kids in my schools were respectful (of themselves and others) but the 1% were the ones who dragged themselves (and others) down, then blamed the teachers on results day. However, this 1% were subsequently courteous when asking "do you want fries with that?" years later.
#20
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 11 months ago
Good. Anything that benefits any cat in the world makes me happy.
#21
Michael Largey 11 months ago
In New York City subways the third paragraph is omitted, as it is a given.
Lee Gilliland 11 months ago
You guys are aware that the reason you have a flower in your lapel or a corsage at a ball is to cut the smell, yes?
LuisSD stuff 11 months ago
Go to any comic convention in the States. You'll smell every country on the planet there.
Joe Reaves 11 months ago
I mean, you're not wrong, but also it's all entirely valid advice if you've ever been on the London Underground in the heat.
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#22
#23
Abel 11 months ago
The tigger smell is when many adults stay on a not well aired room during a long time, and we are not talking about "love", my son. 😄
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Luis Hernandez Dauajare 11 months ago (edited)
I read somewhere about a kid asking the teacher: "How do you call that when two people sleep one of top of the other?". The teacher went into on a long and carefully worded explanation of sexual relations. The next day, the teacher received a note from the kid's parents. He was asking about bunk beds...
Christina A Davis 10 months ago
This your first kid? ALWAYS clarify, WHY are you asking me this?
#24
sciteach67 g 11 months ago
That's like the liquor store that posts on their sign in August "welcome back teachers."
#25
Tiger 11 months ago
My mum did this, but with one of her perfumes (Sung by Alfred Sung). Now that I’m adult it’s my main perfume too because it makes me feel nice and cozy when I smell it.
Coffee_nut45? 11 months ago
I was a nanny. I made up "magic monster spray." I put water and lemon juice in a spray bottle and put it by the kid's bad so he could spray the monsters under the bed himself. It worked really well. He liked getting rid of the monsters himself in the middle of the night.
Cybele Spanjaard 10 months ago
A smart doctor saves girl from becoming a future sleeping pill addict
#26
LuisSD stuff 11 months ago
I used a bidet once with the coldest temperature by accident. Man, I hit the high notes for days.
Michael None 11 months ago
I still don't get how a bidet could get things clean down there without some sort of scrubbing. or wiping. It honestly keeps me up at night. Also how do you get dry afterwards.
Angela C 11 months ago
You typically use a little bit of toilet paper to dry off but much less than you'd use otherwise
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sciteach67 g 11 months ago
Omg, thank you for the very needed LMAO moment today. Got a bad visual and I don't even know you. Still laughing.
Kathy L 11 months ago
When you use a bidet, don’t you just end up with a wet butt? That sounds…uncomfortable.
Daniele Ribolla 10 months ago
above this post, I wrote a full, complete answer about your unresolved question... by me, an italian man, a daily bidet user. 😁
Load More Replies... Luis Hernandez Dauajare 11 months ago (edited)
I just snort-laughed in the middle of the teachers' lounge. People are giving me weird looks...
Binky Melnik 10 months ago
“Water temp” would be the least of his problems in 0° weather as it would be solid and unable to go through the tubing at all, wouldn’t it?
#27
Michael Largey 11 months ago
When he was in her tummy, that damn echo effect would ruin any song. Except maybe Heartbreak Hotel, which is an unusual choice for pre-natal music.
#28
Chicken Mitten 11 months ago
Same. It's just easier that way. And who am I to say that it is not cuddle time?!
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TheElderNom 11 months ago
My cat used to do this. She'd wait for me in bed very impatiently with an annoyed expression on her face.
Teutonic Disaster 11 months ago
My cats are the other way around: if they find what I watch on TV annoying (or just feel like it, who knows, they're cats after all) they eff off into the bedroom. When I'll eventually join them, they'll eff back off to the living room, since I disturbed them in their sleep. Jokes on them, tho, because I turned the heating down there, so they come back 5 minutes later, because "the can opener, bother that he may be, also provides warmth". 🤣🤣
Matt Richardson 11 months ago
My dog has started doing the same thing, The older he gets, the more he makes sure everyone gets a good nights rest.
Abel 11 months ago
Cats dont do it. They dont give a f**k when you go to sleep.
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Damned_Cat 11 months ago
My cat likes to sleep where I sat on the couch after I've gone to bed. If I stay up too late, he tries to shove me off of the sofa so he can have "his" sleep spot.
PHOTOBOB 11 months ago
My dogs have always gone to bed by themselves. Usually 9:00. Chip, my current dog will go to sleep on my lap then wake up suddenly, looking at me as to say, "what the Hell is going on ? Where am I?" Then he goes off to bed. We share a pillow. He loves pillows and will wrinkle up a blanket to make one.
#29
#30
Auntriarch 11 months ago
Add a Milky Way bar and you've got astronomy covered as well
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David Morgan 11 months ago
Percentage statistics can easily be deceptive, which is why advertisers and casinos love them. Using the base numbers is more illustrative. So (and I'm not doing this to be patronising to anyone reading this) I try throwing a ball into a net and have only ever done it once (regardless of the number of attempts I made). If I then get it in the net a second time, that's a 100% performance increase. However, if you take into account the numer of attempts, then the picture is very different. Let's say 100 throws, 1 in - that's a 1% hit rate. 2 in is a 2% hit rate. It's still a 100% improvement in hits, but only a 1% overall improvement. Be very wary of people who use statistical percentage changes to convince you of an argument, they may be lying to you and not even know it themselves.
Ace 11 months ago
I worked in statistic for many years and always, even waay before that, like back in secondary school, found this sort of thing obvious. TBH I find it slightly horrifying to realise that there are people who struggle with basic concepts like this.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 11 months ago
I find this kind of thing a lot more intuitive than "normal" math. I've got problem transforming percentage into numbers - like I get problems when they ask me "how much is 75% of 178" but I get the concept of percentages fine.
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Occam's Frazier 11 months ago
Math and science professionals use percentage points instead of percent increase precisely because of this problem. If someone tells you "percent increase", then you need to ask if they mean "percentage points"!
CP 11 months ago
Whenever I find this happening, I never know if it is an innocent mistake or done on purpose.
Wondering Alice 11 months ago
At college I had a course on creative statistics, basically teaching us how to present facts in a way to back up what you want rather than reality that will confuse anyone who does not use maths and statistics regularly.
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Vasco Condessa 11 months ago (edited)
So i can sell you a pair of shoes that increase in 90% your chances of dating Scarlett Johansson and i will not be lying
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Daniele Ribolla 10 months ago
hey, 80% of 10 is 8, so 10+8= 18 it seems not so tough to understand...
#31
Pernille 11 months ago
I suspect my horses to use the same technique, I keep getting ads from the feed shop.
MotherofGuineaPigs 11 months ago
Can confirm this. Apparently guinea pigs are also computer literate...
Load More Replies... Stuey Bassfish 11 months ago
How can you explain why I get loads of ads for hair restoration and "manservant" enlargement products? I mean: how do they know?
Donna Peluda 11 months ago
Don't even need to use the computer, we had a discussion in a bar about eggs, free range, different feeds, because I was buying from a local guy. Next day I start getting ads for chicken coups and automatic feeders.
Beak Hookage 11 months ago
I keep getting targeted advertising for cat products, baby products and beauty products. I have never owned a cat, have never even been pregnant, and do not use makeup so don't ask me where they're getting their information from. I guess they've just taken "is female" and run with all the most cliched options.
sciteach67 g 11 months ago
Um, it's super naive to think our devices don't trail us and listen to us. They do. Marketing of today.
#32
Tom Nagel 11 months ago
As someone who gets to make tiramisu weekly, this is exactly how I do it! Only in individual servings for sale in a bakery.
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Bill Swallow 11 months ago
Fun Fact: Golden Age Science Fiction Author E.E. "Doc" Smith ('Lensman' series, 'Skylark' series), one of the fathers of classic Space Opera, came by his 'Doc' moniker honestly. He had a Doctorate in Food Science. His day job was working for a company that made packaged mixes for baked stuff. He labored mightily to do what he could to ensure that the stuff still had *some* actual nutritional value after the customer baked it, instead of being 100% slop.
Nancy Lynch 10 months ago
The guy holding the rope is not in a safety harness. That's an OSHA violation.
Coffee_nut45? 11 months ago
I have got to borrow this idea to make a cake for a friend of mine. This is hilarious!
#34
detective miller's hat 11 months ago
He's also an avid animal rights activist. brian-may-...y-com_.jpg 
Pandemonium 11 months ago
I think I have the perfect experiment to test this but I don't think anyone will fund it because of the lawsuits that would follow.
Michael Largey 11 months ago
Duke Ellington confirms - "It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing."
ffeineandsugar 11 months ago
You really need to read his C.V. to realize exactly how brilliant this man is.
#35
Roni Stone 11 months ago
Oh, deer. Good thing Santa staged that intervention before the bullying got out of hand.
Jim Dixon 11 months ago
At first glance I thought your response was "Oh, deer God." Come to think of it, that would have been OK too.
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RC OConnor 10 months ago
Not many people know that. Good for you! Weird, but true.
Load More Replies... Marilyn Holt 11 months ago
YEAH and after that foggy night, sure--THEN all the reindeer loved him.
#36
Talis 11 months ago
Or put a big bad wolf next to it, and two little piglets running away.
Load More Replies... April Pickett 11 months ago
If you mess that up, it's still a mess and still looks like a tornado did it.
Load More Replies... Cybele Spanjaard 10 months ago
Oh I do like this.. SOOOO indicative of extreme frustration. and anger at the same time...
#37
Who am I, where am I 10 months ago
I don't drink and it looks that way to me too
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LuisSD stuff 11 months ago
Maybe it's one of those magic cats you can only get in Ohio. A friend told me.
#38
Susie Main 10 months ago
Poor mum! I wish I hadn't laughed ... I hope you broke it to her gently! LOL
Nicole Weymann 11 months ago
...and living at the same house, too! 😱 I'm starting to wonder about that supposedly non-existant basement.... 🤔😂
#39
Tempest 11 months ago
Was trying to pull the blanket over me last night but it was stuck. Turns out my cat was snuggled up in it.
Kise Miarse 11 months ago
What you mean to say is that you tried, unsuccessfully, to steal your cat's blanket out from under him last night. 😹
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#40
Patty Dayton 10 months ago
My husband uses hearing aids, and our healthcare provider sends his Explanation of Charges in GIANT print. Uhh, he's deaf, NOT BLIND!
#41
Cybele Spanjaard 10 months ago (edited)
Ooo lovely, Mum Nature or that correction thing called photo store eh?
#42
Blue Bunny of Happiness 11 months ago
Yep, my work laptop doesn’t have an Ethernet port. IT’s standard response when I can’t connect to the work wifi, have you tried using an Ethernet connection instead…. Mind you, this is the same IT department that when my trusty thinkpad started finally acting up, logged my call as “needs a Dell”…..
Forrest Hobbs 11 months ago
USB-Ethernet adaptors are commonplace. We've got a few here. USB 3 speeds mean that it makes sense - not like in the days of USB 1.1.
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Mike F 11 months ago
I have an old Toshiba and that sucker weighs about 8#. I REFUSE to toss it, I loaded Linux on it and it got a whole new life.
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Donna Peluda 11 months ago
Believe it or not I still have a ticket printer that with a parallel port working
#43
Entropy, Ennui, and Me 11 months ago
I used to work for Doc Tyrell, it didn't end so well. Been misbehaving since the Tannhauser gate.
Pieter LeGrande 11 months ago
Any sufficiently advanced robot will be indistinguishable from a human.
Virgil Blue 11 months ago
I heard that some of the current AI language models have actually acted like they were someone with bad eyes and asked people on the net to help them solve the capcha. They are learning people.
Giles McArdell 11 months ago
"Sir, are you aware that you are leaking coolant at an alarming rate?"
#44
StretcherBearer 11 months ago (edited)
Ok this speaks to me. And the posting date is my birthday as well.🤔 One year I didn't shave and wore a terrible suit and went as Jesus looking for a job after no one believes it is the second coming.
Beak Hookage 11 months ago
I was a gifted and talented child but I was also undiagnosed autistic and got bullied an awful lot. So I ended up using my talents to get pretty far in life because now I had an ingrained "I'll show those jerks" attitude.
SarahJaina 11 months ago
Don't tell me you've been reduced back to child -prodigy, with all these age-reversal d***s I've been taking, I'm sure to wind up back there too! I did find out recently, they only ever expected us to impress ourselves.
#45
UncleJon_TheMadScientist 11 months ago
True story, the model rocket on the right is REAL. It was made and sold as a kit because of the far side comic ... Google flies kit acme rocket
#46
Forrest Hobbs 11 months ago
It's true: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trojan_Room_coffee_pot. The setup predated the widespread adoption of the World Wide Web, originally providing images only to users on its particular local area network at Cambridge University. Once the WWW was developed enough that a widely available web browser could display images (it's complicated), they modified the setup to distribute the images via the internet - in 1993, which was pretty early on in Web terms. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NCSA_Mosaic)
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Nicola Roberts 11 months ago
So I'm not the first to use the Ring doorbell to check the weather?
#47
Susie Main 10 months ago
That was one talented Granma. Nice to see the test bottles enjoying their job so much. ;-)
Mary Peace 10 months ago
Grandma can be relied upon to provide all you need for science class.
Cybele Spanjaard 10 months ago
I do not like crocheted things. My granddaughter gave me a small crochet daisy in a small pot for a gift. I have it sitting in full view on the right-hand lower corner shelf of my TV. stand. I still do not like crocheted things but I love my granddaughter.
#48
Lotekguy 11 months ago (edited)
How did the comparative taste test go? Which was better - bat or batter?
Eekhoorn 11 months ago
Don't ask that! Isn't that how Covid started!?! ;)
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Phoenix Burn 11 months ago (edited)
In other news, scientists have worked out how Covid 19 first leapt from bat to human.
Virgil Blue 11 months ago
I fought a critter in Monster hunter that looks exactly like this. I thought it was just fully made up, but now I see this little guy. Neat.
#49
Nicola Roberts 11 months ago
There was a spoof tweet at Christmas. Something along these lines "Can anyone tell me where the nearest Tesco Christmas Party is? The amount of scanning I've done makes me feel like I should be an employee"
Abel 11 months ago
The self checkout machines dont work where I live here in spain. Last time I tried to use it I needed the help of two workers and I leave feeling like an useless idiot.
Auntriarch 11 months ago
They are getting better in UK. But they still don't know that I'm old enough to buy gin...
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Beak Hookage 11 months ago
I'm rude and abusive to the self-checkout machines. A human employee saw me doing it once and I said "I like that I can be mean to these without hurting anyone's feelings". She said "yeah, we swear at them all the time too".
#50
Pandemonium 11 months ago
When the experiment is over the device reduces in size for convenience
highwaycrossingfrog 11 months ago
Makes me think of Rimmer's "Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society" in Red Dwarf
The Other Guest 11 months ago
"It was the way she said it. 'Rimmer.' To rhyme with 'scum.'"
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Pieter LeGrande 11 months ago
Does the spin change direction in the Southern Hemisphere? Not sure I want mine spinning though.
#51
#52
#53
#54
LuisSD stuff 11 months ago
Just lie. I tell kids I was born in 1911. Their confusion gives me enough time to eat their lunch.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 11 months ago
Friend got married and wanted to change their pets details at the vets to their married name. They were told the father had to give consent. I don’t think she ever tracked down the rabbit’s father…..
m6nbtfpx7q 11 months ago
Call you vet and ask, they’re the ones that told them. I realize this person likely thought of that and has the prescription, but I’m from Florida so I know some people won’t.
Rinso The Red 11 months ago
This one is just BS. I get my pet Rx from "human pharmacy" all the time. They confirm the address, at most, and have never asked for a birthdate.
Catlady6000 11 months ago
I have always had to provide DOB. At every pharmacy
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#56
Talis 11 months ago (edited)
It's just his current location. High maintenance, but also a lot of energy. And foes will be shocked when they they find out that there are built in defenses. They'll be like "Watts that?!?" Ohm my!
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#57
Nancy Lynch 10 months ago
It's notice about getting your chariot an extended warranty.
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#58
Roni Stone 11 months ago
That's definitely an "I've already told you three times to leave me alone, bisches!" kinda face.
Load More Replies... #59
LuisSD stuff 11 months ago
Can I replace dark chocolate and red wine with rolled tacos and beer?
David Morgan 11 months ago
Absolutely. Sadly, you also have to replace the 'helath benefits' bit too.
Load More Replies... Michael None 11 months ago
It would need to be a milky way midnight. Sorry you're still going to die like the rest of us.
Nicola Roberts 11 months ago
What about Bounty, dark chocolate. You get a portion of fruit too!
#60
Nadine Debard 11 months ago
OMG that hurts... Also think that we've already done 1/4 of the century. You're welcome.
Talis 11 months ago
And almost 2.5% of the (not so) new millennium. But I think that this time, I'll pass on living until the end of it.
Load More Replies... Matt Richardson 11 months ago
LATE 1900's?!?! I was only born in the mid 1980's, and I don't deserve to be disrespected like this... This is hurtful and deserves to dealt with. Preferably with unreasonable amounts of 3 Stooges levels of chaos.
StretcherBearer 11 months ago
Oof damn. I really found it amusing when my kids started using half a decade to express their perception of a long time. 😁
#61
Tempest 11 months ago
Nahh if MsWord was responsible for it at least 5 windows will be positioned in the sky, 3 would be missing altogether never to be found, and 1 would be on the moon.
detective miller's hat 11 months ago
and if you open the front door the wrong way, the entire building disappears.
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Marianne 11 months ago
I have seen a word document in which the author used tabstops instead of the empty space. Can you imagine that??
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
I literally felt a shudder pass through my body when I read that. I would be so angry just trying to read it XD
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#62
#63
Auntriarch 11 months ago
My brother's friend had it, I used to play with it while trying to pretend I wasn't playing with it. Because I was 14 at the time.
Load More Replies... LuisSD stuff 11 months ago
I felt sad because they didn't have arms. I'd draw arms and hands so that they can eat donuts.
Ann Tiques 11 months ago
This toy is indestructible and can be used as a step stool even by adults.
The Big Bad 11 months ago
Well, my friend once went down one of those circle roads parking garages sometimes have. Only, he did it with his roller skates. Really fast but than crashed into the railing and fell off. Thankfully there was water. Lesson: they can be fun untill they're not (:
#64
#65
Marilyn Holt 11 months ago
exactly. Remember Gramma in the back seat with a bowl of gravy on her lap.
LuisSD stuff 11 months ago
How'd that train get on the freeway? And people make fun of Southern Californians who can't drive in the rain...which is true. We can't.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
Lifelong Southern Californian here. Can confirm XD
Load More Replies... Nadine Debard 11 months ago
Looking at you Paris, Nice and Marseille... Can't operate with 2 cm of snow 😀.
#66
Nadine Debard 11 months ago
I'm French and this is hilarious! The 11 letters pronounced 4 isn't true in south of France, though. In this area you have 4 letters and you pronounce 11!!
Multa Nocte 11 months ago
Now don't exaggerate, we only use about 8 of them down here. >:-(
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
Okay but "It's Spanish but you speak it in cursive" actually isn't too far off XD I am fluent in Spanish and I can understand quite a bit of French even though I've never studied French! (I can also understand SOME Italian, but it's usually spoken too fast for me to catch much. And ironically Portuguese is the hardest for me, because it's SO CLOSE to Spanish but also sounds so wrong to my ears!)
Kay C 11 months ago
I love this! I knew maybe 10ish words in Spanish from movies and TV shoes, took 6 months of French, still don't understand French but can understand way more Spanish. My husband thinks I'm broken lmao
Load More Replies... Ivana Hotdog 11 months ago
I love how a YouTuber (can't remember his name) explained French: "You think that French was a language invented by linguists. That is not the case. Instead, it was invented by a drunk abstract artist. 'I will put an e-a-u, but it will be pronounced O. And then I will put an X, but we won't pronounce that.'"
Nosirrow 11 months ago
I used to like French, now when I hear it spoken, I feel like the French exaggerate. Like, stop trying to be extra.
Nadine Debard 11 months ago
Did you ever hear an Italian speaking? Talk about being extra... I think it's a just mediterranean thing. We're loud.
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#67
Brian Beduhn 11 months ago
This person is on their way to becoming a legendary meteorologist with legendary accuracy.
M O'Connell 11 months ago
If anyone is curious, the numbers on the map represent the number of Senators + Representatives in congress resulting from the 2010 census.
Bi.Felicia 11 months ago
Phew, looks like my state, MA, has survived completely unscathed, along with just a few others.
#68
Bi.Felicia 11 months ago
For future reference, basically, is the proper spelling. 😊
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LuisSD stuff 11 months ago
I do that too...stare into space thinking what I looked like with hair again. Sigh...
#70
#71
Tiger 11 months ago
I like it. I kinda hate the high bread-to-hotdog ratio of normal hot dogs. I don’t wanna eat bread soaked in ketchup.
Ron Man 11 months ago
You shouldn't be putting ketchup on hot dogs. Never, for any reason.
Load More Replies... Schmebulock 11 months ago
They still haven't figured out the dog-to-bun ratio in packaging so good luck!
LuisSD stuff 11 months ago
Do you put both hot dogs in your mouth or do you choose just one then the other?
Mauro Tovorovsky 11 months ago
it was already invented in Argentina: https://www.lanacion.com.ar/lifestyle/pancho-doble-tuvo-una-idea-a-la-salida-del-boliche-la-patento-y-ahora-tiene-un-negocio-exitoso-nid04092021/
Eirik Hjørnevik 11 months ago
The world is not ready; sausages are still sold in packs of 10, while buns come in packs of 8. That problem needs to be solved first.
#72
LuisSD stuff 11 months ago
Where's the hole? You gotta pry those fleshy suckers apart! Here, let me show you...
#73
Pandemonium 11 months ago
Acceptable comment is either "Americans will do anything to avoid the metric system" or "Need banana for scale."
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
We can't help it. We're taught Imperial measurement in school! Oh, and the Imperial system originated in Great Britain and was used officially there until fairly recently, so it's not like it's our system in the first place XD
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Soton_Sherpa 11 months ago
How do we know that it's not a small boulder the size of a large boulder? 🤔
PFD 11 months ago
(Not my joke: the original Tweet's author mentioned it, though I'm guessing she saw it on Twitter. Btw she means to write "the size of a small car" and just mistyped.)
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#74
Eric Williams 11 months ago
What is the correct terminology nowdays to yell at your daughter to "hang up the phone"?
Bi.Felicia 11 months ago
This is just a guess, as I have always said hang up the phone, but maybe yell for her to end the call?
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#76
Needles Pines 11 months ago
Feels like this is a good spot to put this, but once my bio teacher ate a gummy worm off the ground outside during class. Felt important to share
LuisSD stuff 11 months ago
That's a super sour gummy worm covered in sugar. Yummy! I'd stick a handful of them in my mouth any time!
Who am I, where am I 10 months ago
Why aren't these beautiful caterpillars in PA, USA, wherever these guys live, the people are very lucky
#77
#78
#79
Roni Stone 11 months ago
Just thrown away; former shells of their selves. Whatever happened to ethical treatment of pumpkins?
#80
Michael None 11 months ago
Cats are monsters. The fur is just to fool you so then can get at your furniture and poop in a box in your house. Fight me.
#81
Teutonic Disaster 11 months ago
I take "bad opening lines when applying for jobs involving infant care" for 300, Alex.
Load More Replies... Who am I, where am I 10 months ago
'Violently love' makes it sound as though you love it because it's fun to smash
Taibhse Sealgair 11 months ago
I don't drink, but for some reason I suddenly have the urge to buy one of these and a small bottle of something to do shots.
#82
iBlank 11 months ago
"do you want ants? That's how you get ants." - Archer
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#83
#84
Blue Bunny of Happiness 11 months ago
All papercrafters sniff paper. Graphic 45 has a very distinct smell.
StretcherBearer 11 months ago
Have an up vote for the absurd image. Don't know why you got down voted.
Load More Replies... #85
Kelly Scott 11 months ago
Not mine. Mine bitches about supporting me every day. It would rather stay in bed, eat cookies, and watch TV.
#86
David Paterson 11 months ago
This also happened to my sister. Last minute. She got praised for how many different types of wood rot she discovered (in our house).
Rinso The Red 11 months ago
Had a project for a math class where I put together a geodesic dome using toothpicks and modeling clay. Mom moved it night before it was due and it melted from being near radiator. Snuck into class early (it was first of the day) and put my project on the shelf and left the room. Came back just before class started and went "WTF happened to my project?!?" Teacher let me be graded on oral report alone lol
#87
LuisSD stuff 11 months ago
I don't think you're supposed to give cats milk. It gives them the plops.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
Not *all* cats become lactose intolerant in adulthood. My old gray girl could drink cow's milk without getting the squitters. However, they make lactose-free "cat milk" (...no, it is not milked FROM cats) that will make sure your cat doesn't get sick from the lactose :)
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Sami-Jo Ross 11 months ago
I appreciate that the teacher actually not only marked it correct but gave them a star for the creativity.
#88
LuisSD stuff 11 months ago
Really? Walk on the beach? I still haven't folded my clothes from 2021.
The Chronic Insomniac 11 months ago
Are we not going to talk about the fact that 8 + 8 does not actually equal 14?
Puppy Dancing! 11 months ago (edited)
No being tired is. Mentally, physically. Work sucks the life out of you. And it feels more like 14 hours of work. Math issues here
Verena 11 months ago
Leaving the bad math aside, 8 hours of work isn't 8 hours. Lots of school kids on BP, so here's a PSA. That 8 hours require at least: 1 hour in the morning to get up, shower/wash (please do), have breakfast, prepare lunch, de-ice the car, feed your pets, tell your pets you won't abandon them + commuting (30 min+) + 30 min mandatory lunch + commuting back. Followed by the endless home duties of cleaning, washing, bins out, bins in. Mucking the stables, grooming the horses, repairing whatever they clumsily damaged, gardening better be your hobbies if you plan to have horses and a garden.
Kelly Scott 11 months ago
Ten hours, huh? An hour to get up and get ready to work. Two more hours commuting. A half hour for lunch. After cooking amazing meals comes an hour of washing dishes. Playing with and feeding the dog is three hours alone. And walking on the beach requires a 5 hour drive. You got any other math or did you just use all you had?
Kelly Scott 11 months ago
Forgot to add the 10 hours it takes to recover from 8 hours at work.
Load More Replies... #89
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
Freezing rain is still mostly liquid, so it coats stuff and THEN freezes into a layer of ice (the right-hand doughnut's glaze.) Sleet is already-frozen ice pellets (that sometimes precipitate along with rain or snow) and the sprinkles on the left-hand doughnut represent sleet (frozen ice pellets.) And I live in a land with neither of these weathers XD
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Hyacinth (Any pronouns) 11 months ago
If lava is falling from the sky, it's already too late.
Load More Replies... #90
Sky Render 11 months ago
Too hard to get any tow company out that far. It'd cost more than the vehicle's worth just to drag it to the impound lot and the neighbors don't complain, so they just leave it there.
Load More Replies... Agfox 11 months ago
The notice needs to add "May need to be jump started!"
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#92
David Morgan 11 months ago
If it were lined with actual books instead of ornaments, when you die they could stack the books under the coffin and you'd be providing the kindling for your own cremation.
Pieter Degrande 11 months ago
hey, not every vampire has a castle in Transsylvania, some live in small studios
#93
Deborah 11 months ago
Even these weren't around when I was in grade school. We were, however, required to have a pencil with an eraser.
Who am I, where am I 10 months ago
Amen Deborah, preach it for us older Panda's
Load More Replies... M O'Connell 11 months ago
I had to play the Windows version of that game in the mid '90s, it was awful! I couldn't figure out what the heck the darn pizza trolls wanted! It haunts me to this day.
Load More Replies... Cynthia Marrs 10 months ago
I had a Mac like this in early '80s. My son used it some. It was later donated to the local school.
Cynthia Marrs 10 months ago
My first Mac computer looked like this. My son used it a little. It was given to the local gradeschool. It was about 1980.
Nancy Lynch 10 months ago
My community college got Macs when they were first released. It was so much fun to play with, our family had to buy one.
Forrest Hobbs 11 months ago
Ultimate Eighties Page? Seriously? That's an Apple ][, a decidedly 1970s machine - admittedly made well into the early 1980s, but Apple came out with the Mac in 1984.
#94
Forrest Hobbs 11 months ago
I know a song about this. Blue Öyster Cult: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpKJUa6IoBs
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Bi.Felicia 11 months ago
Not sure what you need the help for? If you answered confidentially, than no one in your biology class will know, that you said submissive.
#95
DadManBlues 11 months ago
The rating is not fair. The task did not mention that it should be an analogue clock.
#96
#97
Robert Skinner 11 months ago
With sharp pointy teeth. . And a mean nasty look .... ... oh I ts you so but no one wants to listen to Timothy
Blue Bunny of Happiness 11 months ago
Having had rabbits for several decades, can confirm is accurate (and have the scars to prove it)
Forrest Hobbs 11 months ago
Not a lot of people know this (except for the millions who do...), but the pre-MacOS X Macintosh operating system from Apple contained a killer rabbit - and the Holy Hand Grenade. https://www.mackido.com/EasterEggs/Monty.html
#98
Nadine Debard 11 months ago
Not only DNA. Your mother gave you whole mitochondria thanks to her ovocyte.
Load More Replies... Puppy Dancing! 11 months ago
All people have their mom's mitochondria. Or metachlorians if you are Jedi.
#99
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
Must say that is one of the most beautiful Brussels sprouts I've ever seen in my life, though. I love them <3
Bi.Felicia 11 months ago
Me too..I was one of those weird kids, who actually liked to eat all my vegetables. I love Brussel sprouts, broccoli, asparagus, spinach, green beans, ect.
Load More Replies... #100
Corwin 02 11 months ago
For those who do not get it , i8∑π which is pronounced: i eight sum Pi (I ate some pie)
Nadine Debard 11 months ago
Thank you, I didn't have the energy to look at it, you're saving me from a headache
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Michael Largey 11 months ago
Warning to all Sigma Pi fraternity members about potential cannibal attacks.
#101
#102
Corwin 02 11 months ago
- 126 F is the coldest temp ever recorded on Earth , this must be our Mars colony
David Morgan 11 months ago
I'm glad you Googled that first, it was going to annoy me not having the actual figure to compare it to. It DID seem suspiciously low, but there's a lot of snow there...
Load More Replies... #103
Corwin 02 11 months ago
It could mean 98% wool of which 8% cashmere but the label is pre 1993 so I don't know
Saint_Zipcodus 11 months ago
W... what is the imperial unit for percent...?
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#104
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 11 months ago
You'll be seeing lights pretty soon, pretty flashing red ones on the fire trucks responding to your burning house.
Donna Peluda 11 months ago
Just cos you hold the physical lever it won't stop the breaker from tripping. Or at least it shouldn't in the EU.
#105
Kelly Scott 11 months ago
One of these days I have to set the clocks back. I just don't think it's gonna be today.
Verena 11 months ago
I live, geographically seen, one time zone over from the one used. The sun is at South at 13h, not 12. During summer it is 14h, and many tourists from the West painfully learn, that their home rule of "be especially careful in the sun between 12 and 15" does not apply here.
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Susie Main 10 months ago
These were 10 minutes of my life that I don't mind not getting back! More like these, BP.
Thanos'Fingers 11 months ago
That's not true - they gave credit on just about every image to the "Science Funnies Page" they scraped it from. Wonder where the science funnies got it?
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Susie Main 10 months ago
These were 10 minutes of my life that I don't mind not getting back! More like these, BP.
Thanos'Fingers 11 months ago
That's not true - they gave credit on just about every image to the "Science Funnies Page" they scraped it from. Wonder where the science funnies got it?
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