Father Won’t Take Any Action Towards Son Over His Fight With 3 Girls At School, Wife Is Livid
During my childhood, and this is quite a long time ago, I was taught that a man should never, under any circumstances, raise his hand to a woman (in my youth, while training boxing, I even refused to spar with girls when the coach insisted), and this became one of the immutable rules of my life. And for many people as well.
But what if there are female bullies at school, and your child gets into a fight with them, standing up for the victim of bullying? Well, the user ElderberryFar6637, the author of the story that we’ll tell you today, was faced with just a similar situation in relation to his own teen son.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has a 14 Y.O. son who studies in the 8th grade and is quite well-behaved, according to his parents
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
One day the dad had to come to his son’s school as the vice-principal informed him that his son had been in a fight
Image credits: ElderberryFar6637
It turned out that the boy had stood up for his classmate who was being bullied by 3 girls
Image credits: MIKI Yoshihito (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ElderberryFar6637
It ended in a short fight and the author’s son got some scratches on his face while one of the girls got a split lip
Image credits: Jaroslav Nymburský (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ElderberryFar6637
The dad decided not to punish the son at home, while his wife claimed he’s raising ‘a woman beater’
So, the Original Poster (OP) and his wife have a 14 Y.O. son, who studies in 8th grade and, according to his parents, is well-behaved, does sports and gets really good grades. That’s why the father was incredibly surprised when the vice principal called him one fine day, asking the dad to urgently come to school.
As it turned out, the author’s son had been in a fight – and not just a fight, but got into a fight with three girls, for which he received a week’s suspension. However, after watching the footage from school cameras, the dad, as he himself says, stopped being angry with his son.
It all started in the school cafeteria, where three girls were mocking another boy and did not respond to requests from other pupils to stop immediately. Then, at some point, the OP’s son threw an empty carton of milk at one of the bullies, thus splashing them.
A quarrel began between the OP’s son and all three girls, and at some point one of them started slapping him. The boy pushed the attacker away, and then all three attacked him. The fight turned out to be short – the vice principal separated the fighters almost immediately, but the boy got several scratches on his face, while one of the girls had a split lip.
Returning home, the dad told his son that he wasn’t going to punish him for what happened – after all, he, in fact, stood up for a victim of bullying. However, when the mom returned home and found out about what had happened, she said that she was going to punish the son for raising his hand against the girls. According to the woman, in that situation, the boy should have simply run away.
A quarrel then ensued between the spouses, and the wife told the author of the post that he was definitely raising ‘a woman beater.’ In turn, the man said that the punishment from the school itself is quite serious, because their son will have to make up for missed lessons, and the ability to stand up for himself and for a friend is also vital important.
Image credits: Odonata Wellnesscenter (not the actual photo)
Well, while school bullying in itself is unacceptable, the OP’s son, who, according to his father, is 5’10” and well physically developed for his age, was significantly stronger than each of the girls who attacked him. Can what happened be regarded as another example of school vigilantism? Well, people’s opinions in the comments differ.
On the one hand, commenters reasonably point out that a fight is not a way to resolve a conflict, but on the other hand, that the author’s son actually stood up for the victim of bullying, and in a situation where he himself was attacked, a fight was most likely unavoidable. “Bullies, no matter the gender, deserve everything they get. They should have been expelled for bullying,” one commenter claimed.
Also, people in the comments are calling on the author’s wife to refrain from what they consider to be ‘toxic’ and ‘sexist’ prejudices about how a boy shouldn’t be able to stand up for himself if he’s the party who has been abused. “Women can be abusive too, and men should be allowed to defend themselves and not be a punching bag,” another person wrote in the comments.
Be that as it may, the author of the post also noted that all three girls also received the same suspension from the school principal, so the fact of bullying did not escape the attention of the school board. As for whether the man was right in not subjecting his son to additional punishment at home… well, by the way, what do you, our dear readers, think about this?
However, people’s opinions here were divided, though most of them claimed that bullying is absolutely unacceptable
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The mother is EXACTLY the type of person who makes male abuse such a hidden problem. Before someone lunges at me, yes, that women get physically abused is a more prominent phenomenon, but it also gets more attention and pity from people. With men, they're usually either blamed for defending themselves, not believed or even ridiculed. The mother isn't showing her son any good example by punishing him for standing up for himself. No surprise the boy trusts OP more.
Forgot to add context: I mean she's setting her son up for troubles in the future, not now as kids. But he shouldn't have to be afraid to fight back against bullies either, no matter what gender they might have
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I'd be more worried about what's gonna happen when he get back to school and faces other kids with the same archaic view as the wife. Happened to a kid at my school years ago; A group of girls where laying into "Ben", he ended up punching 2 of them in the face, they stopped. At lunch time, a group boys were beating the s**t out of Ben because 'you don't ever hit girls'. I stepped in, an ambulance got called for 2 of the boys, I got suspended for 3 days, Ben was kicked out of the school, and nobody learned a lesson.
Honestly, no tolerance is such a broken concept. It doesn't prevent bullying, just gets the victim punished for defending themselves
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Equal rights. I was taught to defend myself and that if I throw a punch, expect to get hit back. That being said, you should gauge your reaction. If someone half my size hits me, I'm not going to go full BERSERK. But if there's a group... you have to defend yourself. The kid was being attacked by 3 teenage girls. Assuming running away isn't an option, is he just supposed to get beaten down?
Many parents seem to forget the "gauge your reaction" part when telling their kids to defend themselves. I've had students full n beating another kid because the other kid bumped into them, or stuck out their tongue. "My mom said if they mess with me to defend myself." I wish more people recognized that situations are nuanced and kids often see things in black and white. In this case, even though the the boy had other options, he was justified in hitting back, as long as he didn't chase them down to do it. I'm hoping dad said more than be careful of what can go on your record when you get caught hitting people, though.
Load More Replies... The mother is EXACTLY the type of person who makes male abuse such a hidden problem. Before someone lunges at me, yes, that women get physically abused is a more prominent phenomenon, but it also gets more attention and pity from people. With men, they're usually either blamed for defending themselves, not believed or even ridiculed. The mother isn't showing her son any good example by punishing him for standing up for himself. No surprise the boy trusts OP more.
Forgot to add context: I mean she's setting her son up for troubles in the future, not now as kids. But he shouldn't have to be afraid to fight back against bullies either, no matter what gender they might have
Load More Replies... I'd be more worried about what's gonna happen when he get back to school and faces other kids with the same archaic view as the wife. Happened to a kid at my school years ago; A group of girls where laying into "Ben", he ended up punching 2 of them in the face, they stopped. At lunch time, a group boys were beating the s**t out of Ben because 'you don't ever hit girls'. I stepped in, an ambulance got called for 2 of the boys, I got suspended for 3 days, Ben was kicked out of the school, and nobody learned a lesson.
Honestly, no tolerance is such a broken concept. It doesn't prevent bullying, just gets the victim punished for defending themselves
Load More Replies... Equal rights. I was taught to defend myself and that if I throw a punch, expect to get hit back. That being said, you should gauge your reaction. If someone half my size hits me, I'm not going to go full BERSERK. But if there's a group... you have to defend yourself. The kid was being attacked by 3 teenage girls. Assuming running away isn't an option, is he just supposed to get beaten down?
Many parents seem to forget the "gauge your reaction" part when telling their kids to defend themselves. I've had students full n beating another kid because the other kid bumped into them, or stuck out their tongue. "My mom said if they mess with me to defend myself." I wish more people recognized that situations are nuanced and kids often see things in black and white. In this case, even though the the boy had other options, he was justified in hitting back, as long as he didn't chase them down to do it. I'm hoping dad said more than be careful of what can go on your record when you get caught hitting people, though.
Load More Replies...
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