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30 Times Honest Kids Slam-Dunked Adults With Savage Roasts, As Shared In This Online Thread
Kids have absolutely no problem telling grown-ups what they think. When they're young, it's because they don’t know how to be anything but honest, and when they're older, it's because they believe they're never gonna turn into us.
So when Reddit user Sundriedsandles asked everyone on the platform, "What's the most savage thing you heard a child say to an adult?" the replies came pouring in. From insulting our appearance to questioning our life choices, here's what the little ones are capable of.
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#1
Parent: you know you'll have to listen me for the rest of your life
Child: no, I have to listen to you for the rest of YOUR life
#2
In a busy store, kid maybe 4 years old getting ignored.
"Dad. Dad. Dad. Daddy. Dad. Daddy. DADDY. DADDY. DAD. DADA! DADDY! DADDY! DADA! DAD! DAD!"
5 seconds later a great shout comes out this kid.
"STEEEEEEVE!"
That got dad's attention, he jumped 3 inches.
#3
A group of adults were talking extremely loud about how stupid certain people were, and that includes young kids. One of the person's kid said
"At least I know I'm dumb."
I think of that kid to this day.
#4
Little girl was dressed as a fast food worker for Halloween was being given s**t by her aunt for her "low choice" and that she needed to aim higher if she wanted to succeed, whole thing was really demeaning and weird. Girl fired back with: I'm only 12, what's your excuse for being poor then?
#5
Someone in the family was pregnant, and my nieces were putting together the facts related to baby making at the time. A light bulb went off and they noted 'oh, so that means so and so had s*x.' Then, another light bulb went off and they said to their mom "oh, so that means that you and dad have had s*x too!"
They seemed skeptical, and when further questioned, said "Dad just doesn't seem like the type of person that would have s*x."
#6
When I was 22 or so I was just out of college, living at home, and working as an aide at an elementary school. I was working with a first grader who asked me if I had kids. I said no. He asked if I had a wife. I said no. The kid looks a bit confused and says, "Then who do you live with?" I said that I live with my parents and brothers. Then the kid looks even more confused and goes, "Wait... I thought you were an adult." I know he didn't mean nothing by it, but damn.
#7
I heard a little kid saying to his mum: i thought men can't get pregnant.
Ty little bastard you were talking so loud, i reduced my alcohol consume down to 10% of what i drank before (and now limited to weekends) and lost almost 15kg since then. Yes, was on my best way of becoming an alcoholic. And i had that fat "beer tummy" while else being pretty skinny.
#8
My daughter is a genius and on the spectrum... this has led to some hilarious (in hindsight) encounters. My mother-in-law was spending time with the little one to get to know her better (she was an unplanned life happens adoption and will be our only child.) They were folding clothes in my MIL‘s Living room when the otherwise silent all day 3yr old turns to her and says: “My panties are too small to fold.“ she held up my MIL’s underwear she had been folding. “I can fold your panties many many times. It is because your butt is so big.” My MIL said she then held her underwear up in awe and whispered “One day I too will be gloriously fat.”
Winter's Dream 2 years ago
For those questioning the validity, in the og post mom explains the child was intentionally starved in her previous foster home and became obsessed with food and being fat.
#9
My 11 year old sister to one of my friends:
“Hey, did you know that if you were to eat a bee, you would have more brains in your stomach than in your head.”
A conversation I overheard between my father and sister:
My father: “Can your little legs carry your big smart mouth?”
My sister: “can your legs carry your big stomach?”
#10
Karen to her kid: "Stop acting like a child!"
Some random kid walking by: "He is a child, what's your excuse."
#11
“Uncle Eric? When is your baby due?”
Kid had just learned what a pregnancy looked like. Uncle Eric was not, in fact, pregnant.
Richard Reese 2 years ago
Some of these are obviously made up, but I think this one is rather common. I remember when my mom was pregnant with my younger brother and she was explaining it to me, I pointed at my dad's belly and asked if he was pregnant as well. Given the age difference between me and my brother, I would of been about 7.
#12
I’m a high school teacher. Once a student came up to me and said “Ms. ____ has anyone told you that you look nice today?” I said “Aww. Thank you! They haven’t.” She then said “Good. I wanted to make sure no one was lying to you.” And walked away.
#13
The other day my 6 year old daughter was sitting next to me and looked me right in the eye and said “why do you have a mustache?”
I’m a woman, by the way.
#14
I was at a public safety education event for grades 5/6 representing EMS. I was showing a kid some of the advanced things we do and her teacher asked "So, would you want to be a Paramedic?"
Her reply...."No, I'm going to study business, I want to be able to pay my bills".
Still kinda stings.
#15
"Dad, I drew you with no hair, because you pretty much don't have any." My 5-year-old son
#16
Halloween was coming soon, my sister was talking to one of my 5 yo cousins. "Hey honey! What do you think your mommy should dress like for halloween? A princess?". The kid smiled: "She's waaay too ugly for a princess! Mommy should be a witch!"
We kept quiet for the rest of the day. Mommy never knew.
#17
My ex was a heavy dude. He changed his shirt in front of his 4 year old nephew, who looked at his belly confused and genuinely asked him if his stomach was his butt.
#18
I was washing dishes in the kitchen and singing to myself and my 4yr old walked in with her face screwed up and said "mummy you cant sing, it's hurting my ears". She's not wrong though because I definitely can't sing. It's brutal honesty daily from her.
#19
Last week my husband who works at a local grocery store overheard a mother pushing her two kids in a cart and complaining about how heavy they were. The older child, probably around 7 years old looks at her and says, "You're the one who decided to have two kids". Looks like someone spends a lot of time at his grandparent's house.
Crystal galvan mendez 2 years ago
What's sad is that there's a 7 year old sitting in a shopping cart!
Sky 2 years ago
It’s not sad! Parents dont stick their kids in the shopping cart because they cant walk, kids get in the shopping carts because it’s a fun little ride. I used to go grocery shopping with my mom just to ride in the shopping cart
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Bubbles and sparks 2 years ago
My ex had a lazy child like that, always demanding to sit in the shoppingcart until he couldn't fit anymore.... He only ever once went shopping with me, after that he walked because he was actually reprimanded by the store owner for making such a scene... i left him standing at the carts at the age of 7, small town shop. He made a spectacle out of himself. Same was for wiping his a*s after he shat, he refused to do that and mummy dearest always went and did it, even though she almost always threw up from the stink ;p One day she asked me, I told her "Sure, let me handle this one..." Went to the toilet, asked him if he knew how his mum did it and he said yes.... I told him that this day was the beginning of wiping his b*tt himself. He refused because he found it disgusting... Told him he could either do it himself or just pull up his pants and walk around with a dirty behind, then closed the door and listen to him rant for a while. He leared an important trade that day ;)
Nonna_SoF 2 years ago
Oil ball bearings. That's funny. You clearly don't do much grocery shopping, those carts don't get maintained.
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#20
My friend when he was about 4 was in trouble so he had to be in the kitchen with his mom where she could see him. He was bored and wanted to play but she wouldn’t let him so he looked at her and said in his sweetest voice “mom if you’re here, who’s running hell?” Still the most savage burn I’ve seen in a while.
#21
Adult teaching child.
Child trying to re explain what the adult is saying.
The adult correcting the child.
The child, "What language do you speak?"
Adult, "Uh...English. Same as you."
Child, "If we both speak English, why don't you understand what I am saying??"
Brought to you by a 5 year old in kindergarten.
#22
When speaking my second language, a six year old told me "You don't sound like you're foreign, you just sound like there's something wrong with your mouth."
#23
My three year old daughter walked up to a man in a wheelchair whilst we were in the supermarket, looked him straight in the face and said “You’re too old for a pram”
Monique Reed 2 years ago
This is teaching moment. A) How to apologize to someone you have been accidentally rude to, and B) how some people have bodies that make them need to have help. A three year old can understand that grandma needs glasses to help her see; she is old enough to understand that the man needs a special chair to get around.
#24
When I was around 4 or 5 we went to Canada to attend my grandfathers funeral. It was a long time coming so my grandmother had been handling it well. We stayed up there for about 2 weeks after since it was summer and we usually spent august up there anyways, but this time as we were pulling out of the driveway to head back south I leaned out the window and shouted "Bye Grandma! Love you! Don't die now!"
#25
was chilling at a wedding, the bridesmaids were sitting there with the 5 year old flower girl. one of the bridesmaids said she wished she would be the next to get married and the flower girl said "no becky you are too ugly to get married". i burst out laughing.
#26
In my younger 20s I had horrible acne. I was a cashier at CVS. A customer's young daughter asked me why I had so many bug bites on my face. It took all my strength to not cry in front of that customer.
#27
My sister looked at me and said, "you look like you're pregnant, but you're not"
#28
My little brother asked if he’d have a mustache like me when he grew up. I’m a girl.
#29
My 10 year old daughter told me, "it's okay mom - there are lots of people more chubby than you."
asexualotl (she/her) 2 years ago
she's TEN??? too old. that was definitely intentionally mean (if OP was already insecure) and she's not a good person. downvote me all you want but i'm not too much older than OP's child and i can confirm that when my friends and i were that age, no one said anything like that.
#30
When my brother was 3 or 4, I told him about Buerger Disease, so he would approach smoking strangers in the park and inform them that they will have to have their leg cut off...
What do you think ?
tara 2 years ago
I work with some lovely, but confused elderly folks whom I love. One in particular has my heart! She saw me walking towards her and said "You know you could be a good looking man....if you tried." (I'm not a man) I said "really I was hoping for being a good looking lady." "Well," She said "You already nailed that." Strangest dis/compliment I ever got.
Loolie 2 years ago
No way a 4yr old asked his mum who's running hell! Some folks will say anything to try get likes online.
Dorothy Stovall 2 years ago
I agree. If my kid said that to me I'd be way concerned about where they heard that, and I'd sure as hell never "brag" about it!
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Marla 2 years ago
I can't tell if it's more common that people are making up things kids say or if a lot of people don't believe it because they only know kids that are on the dim side
Gary 2 years ago
Nope most of these are totally fictional or massively embellished.
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Xenon 2 years ago
My 5 yo daughter looked at me when I got out of a pool and asked "Mommy, will I have big boobs like you when I grow up?" I told her probably yes. She replied with "Eewwww" Hahaha.
Claire Ferguson 2 years ago
I work in childcare and once had a girl ask me why her mummy boobies stick out and mine were just flat! haha
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WonderWoman 2 years ago
Too many of these are just mean, rude and uncalled for comments and are not honest, or slam-dunks.
Elizabeth Deighton 1 year ago
I worked in a nursery with 3-4 year olds. I was sat at the messy (craft table) when a child asked me why I wasn't wearing an apron. Before I could answer, he continued guess it's because you're to fat. (Yes I am on the porky side) Later, said to another child that it was so hot and if it got hotter I would melt into a puddle. He looked up at me and said yes and that would be a very big puddle indeed. Just love children's honesty. Another time, had my hair permed normally it was straight as was most of the staff's hair. One child said that it was in circles then another informed me that it was drunk
Kathy Davis 1 year ago
I dressed up for Halloween at work. One little girl came in in costume. She said "You look scary!" I said "Thanks. You look scary too!" She said, "Yeah, but I am wearing a costume."
AnxiousEmby 2 years ago
When I was a kid, dad used to talk about people he worked with. One day, I met one of them, someone we’ll call Phil. I walked up to Phil, and said with all the confidence a child can say, “hi! I know you! My daddy doesn’t like you!” I’ve never lived it down.
Sean Simpson 2 years ago
When I was a wee little kid in the early 90’s, right around the time Disney’s Aladdin came out, I was about 6 and out with my mom. I grew up in a fairly racially non-diverse place, so not a lot of exposure to other ethnicities, cultures, religions, etc. So mom and I are out in the big city for the afternoon and we are waiting for the subway. As we’re waiting, a Sikh man walk along the platform and is waiting a reasonable distance from us for the next train too. I got very excited and was like “Look mom! A genie!” The man heard me, my mom was mortified and apologized to the man, while telling me that he wasn’t a genie. Thankfully, the man had a sense of humour and wasn’t offended - I guess he was able to connect the dots between the Aladdin movie being released and how a 6 year-old white kid could make that mistake.
tara 2 years ago
I work with some lovely, but confused elderly folks whom I love. One in particular has my heart! She saw me walking towards her and said "You know you could be a good looking man....if you tried." (I'm not a man) I said "really I was hoping for being a good looking lady." "Well," She said "You already nailed that." Strangest dis/compliment I ever got.
Loolie 2 years ago
No way a 4yr old asked his mum who's running hell! Some folks will say anything to try get likes online.
Dorothy Stovall 2 years ago
I agree. If my kid said that to me I'd be way concerned about where they heard that, and I'd sure as hell never "brag" about it!
Load More Replies... Marla 2 years ago
I can't tell if it's more common that people are making up things kids say or if a lot of people don't believe it because they only know kids that are on the dim side
Gary 2 years ago
Nope most of these are totally fictional or massively embellished.
Load More Replies... Xenon 2 years ago
My 5 yo daughter looked at me when I got out of a pool and asked "Mommy, will I have big boobs like you when I grow up?" I told her probably yes. She replied with "Eewwww" Hahaha.
Claire Ferguson 2 years ago
I work in childcare and once had a girl ask me why her mummy boobies stick out and mine were just flat! haha
Load More Replies... WonderWoman 2 years ago
Too many of these are just mean, rude and uncalled for comments and are not honest, or slam-dunks.
Elizabeth Deighton 1 year ago
I worked in a nursery with 3-4 year olds. I was sat at the messy (craft table) when a child asked me why I wasn't wearing an apron. Before I could answer, he continued guess it's because you're to fat. (Yes I am on the porky side) Later, said to another child that it was so hot and if it got hotter I would melt into a puddle. He looked up at me and said yes and that would be a very big puddle indeed. Just love children's honesty. Another time, had my hair permed normally it was straight as was most of the staff's hair. One child said that it was in circles then another informed me that it was drunk
Kathy Davis 1 year ago
I dressed up for Halloween at work. One little girl came in in costume. She said "You look scary!" I said "Thanks. You look scary too!" She said, "Yeah, but I am wearing a costume."
AnxiousEmby 2 years ago
When I was a kid, dad used to talk about people he worked with. One day, I met one of them, someone we’ll call Phil. I walked up to Phil, and said with all the confidence a child can say, “hi! I know you! My daddy doesn’t like you!” I’ve never lived it down.
Sean Simpson 2 years ago
When I was a wee little kid in the early 90’s, right around the time Disney’s Aladdin came out, I was about 6 and out with my mom. I grew up in a fairly racially non-diverse place, so not a lot of exposure to other ethnicities, cultures, religions, etc. So mom and I are out in the big city for the afternoon and we are waiting for the subway. As we’re waiting, a Sikh man walk along the platform and is waiting a reasonable distance from us for the next train too. I got very excited and was like “Look mom! A genie!” The man heard me, my mom was mortified and apologized to the man, while telling me that he wasn’t a genie. Thankfully, the man had a sense of humour and wasn’t offended - I guess he was able to connect the dots between the Aladdin movie being released and how a 6 year-old white kid could make that mistake.
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