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More and more people these days are becoming childfree by choice, in turn celebrating time, freedom, and opportunities they have reserved for themselves. Meanwhile, economists have pointed to the fact that the fertility rate has fallen every year since 2007, as the Great Recession made millennials put off child-rearing for years.
But in order to get a glimpse of what childfree life is really like, you have to look at what people who opt out of having babies have to say about it. So we looked at the corner of Reddit “Childfree,” which is a place for discussion of the childfree lifestyle.
With a whopping 1.4M members, it surely has a lot to say on this matter, so let’s see some arguments on living with no kids right below. Also, after you’re done, be sure to check out part 1 of the post right here.
This post may include affiliate links.
To find out what people who choose not to have kids have to say about the childfree lifestyle, Bored Panda reached out to Amy Blackstone, professor of sociology at the University of Maine and the author of “Childlfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family & Creating a New Age of Independence.”
When asked if such a lifestyle is getting more popular nowadays, which it certainly feels like it, Amy said that it’s certainly more popular “in the sense that more people are aware of it as an option than ever before.”
According to the professor and book author, “That is largely thanks to the willingness of childfree people to speak out about their choice and of course to the decades-long work of reproductive justice advocates. Whether more people than in the past will ultimately remain childfree for their lifetimes remains to be seen.”
“Certainly more millennials are currently childfree than were previous generations at their age, but there hasn't been a dramatic increase in lifetime childlessness,” she said and added that only “time will tell whether today's millennials are opting out of parenthood altogether or simply delaying it.”
There's a common misconception that parenthood defines us unlike anything else. Amy said that there are “good reasons that this misconception is so common. Almost from the moment we are born, we are taught that becoming a parent is one of the most important milestones of adulthood. For this reason, it makes sense that folks might think that parenthood is the be all, end all experience.”
#7
Since They're Trying To Ban Abortion...
Random Anon 3 years ago
I guess according to the pious in the US, the foetus is an important member of society who needs to be protected and cherished. Until they are born. Beyond that point, they're on their own and on their way to contributing into the coffers of the top 1%.
Cain Hargreaves 3 years ago
I think the brilliant George Carlin said it best: "If you're pre-born, you're fine. If you're preschool, you're f***ed!"
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CatWoman312 3 years ago
A fetus is not a baby. Also at 6 weeks it isn’t even considered a fetus yet.
Thenatural 3 years ago
I think cowboy Hank probably chants "USA! USA!" Whenever an F14 bombs a Middle Eastern city...how many babies die there Hank?
Thorfin Wolfsbane 3 years ago
Went to the store a few months before my 21st birthday for beer. They said I wasn’t old enough. I said if life begins at conception, then I’m definitely old enough. I didn’t get the beer. Apparently life begins before you’re born only if it’s about terminating a pregnancy.
Nikki Owens 3 years ago
The law currently defines one's chronological age as beginning at birth, and abortion is currently legal. The government decides both those things, not pro-life activists. Your comment is logically incoherent.
Load More Replies... qwerty 3 years ago
For anyone who thinks that abortion is "murdering babies": A fetus is not a baby. A baby is breathing and independent. A fetus does not breath, and is completely dependent on the mother. Not to mention the fact that the pain from even a textbook childbirth is enough to kill you. It (hopefully) won't, but it's unbearable.
You are Beautiful (He, Him) 3 years ago (edited)
I agree with your message, but still, just because I'm not a woman does not mean that I can't have an opinion. I think what cowboy frank said is wrong, but still, I can have an opinion. Like, if I'm not black can I not stand for BLM? If I'm not gay can I not stand for LGBTQ+ rights? Again, I'm for all those things, and I really agree with your message, but still.
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Stille20 3 years ago
Seriously, the same people who want you not to use birth control, abortion clinics, maternaty leave or paid family leave have no interest in actually supporting parents
Nikki Owens 3 years ago
Where do you get this stuff? Most of them do, in fact, offer help to parents, besides supporting/funding a bewildering array of other charities. Whatever your beliefs, this claim is simply erroneous.
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DC 3 years ago
... a point no pro-lifer can deny. No way around it - if you classify it as a person on whatever grounds (and if we overlook that that it's none of your businees, pro-lifer), everything that results from being a person has to be the outcome of it, or the point cannot be made at all. It already is a nonvalid point anyway, but it cannot be asked too much to act at least consistent. Also - murdering Babies, Hank, is rightfully illegal anywhere in the world. There is no need to stop something that doesn't even happen.
leia's emotional cupcake 3 years ago
Why does everyone downvote a guy for sharing his opinion on life. ??
Coleen 3 years ago
Seriously, there a better arguments to be made than this. This is along the lines of, "If I'm old enough to vote, I should be allowed to drink." You are correct, I don't think you should be able to vote, either.
Stephanie IV 3 years ago
The right to an abortion isn’t grantable, because it’s inalienable, really.
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
My wife always says I act like a little kid... Does this mean she has to pay extra for me? (I think she's paid enough for this mistake! LOL)
bxttery_bxby 3 years ago (edited)
I feel like if having a baby is a danger to the baby or the mother, getting an abortion is okay. If the parents of the child cannot take care of the baby and would rather not put that baby through thebfoster care system, getting an abortion is okay. But, take into account a woman who keeps getting pregnant and saying she doesn't want it... That's kinda... Not cool? Idk. I mean, I'm a woman and I don't want people taking away my rights to my body but at the same time, shouldn't there be some boundaries? Idk I kinda sound insensitive but that's not how I mean it EDIT: I'm sorry if I offend anyone with this, it's just my opinion.
Vicky Z 3 years ago
This is why we should fight for sex education in schools! This is a step forward! Making abortions illegal is a step backwards! Abortions should be legal because no matter what you do there will continue to exist and they better be safe for all women who choose it!
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Carrie Laughs 3 years ago
Yes, bring unwanted children into the world because there isn't already a large number of neglected children on the planet. None of your business what women may need to do.
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However, “we know from all kinds of social science research that having kids is not required for living a complete, happy, and fulfilling life,” the professor explained and recommended everyone looking for the answers to read her illuminating book “Childfree By Choice.”
#11
Letter From An 85 Year Widow: My Childfree Experience And A Few Humble Opinions
It’s hard to say whether opting not to have kids will stay popular with future generations. According to Amy, “it depends on what we mean by 'popular' but if what you're referring to is whether the idea that having—or not having—children is a choice, I'd say that yes, our awareness of that reality will continue to grow.”
It’s just that more and more people are speaking out about their choice not to have kids. “And thanks to their bravery in speaking out, we now know that parenthood is simply one of many paths available to us,” she concluded.
#14
I Wish More People Realized Just How Much A Bad Parent Can Mess Up Their Children
#20
Actress Jameela Jamil Celebrates Her Successful Cf Life, Shrugs Off Haters
#23
GF Wanted A Dog, I Didn’t. What Happens? We Got A Dog. Then GF Wants Kids, I Don’t
#34
I Got Pregnant After My Tubal Ligation And Doctors Are Treating It Like A Happy Miracle As I Sit Here Horrified
![My Friend Sent This To Me [humor]](https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/914973973196296192-png__700.jpg "My Friend Sent This To Me [humor]")
#40
I Have A Lot Of Reasons For Not Wanting Kids, And The World Being On Fire Is Definitely Among Them
#42
I'm Going To Print Out A Stack Of These And Hand Them Out To People Who Bingo Me
#45
"Being A Young Woman Without Kids Is A Privilege." No, It's An Active Decision
#48
I'm 53. My Wife Is 60. We've Always Been Staunchly Childfree. Can I Tell You... It Only Gets Better
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
I'm so happy to see that being childfree is finally becoming more normal and less of a taboo. Seeing more and more childfree stories on social media, news, sites like this and heard from famous people. It's good. People need to know there are choices. You don't have to have kids just because people act like it's normal.
Ivy Ruonakoski 3 years ago
Exactly. If you reeeeally want kids (and can afford them) then by all means, have them. But no one should be shamed for not wanting or having them.
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K2D2 3 years ago
Just imagine how far people would get in life if they had the ability to keep their projections in check and just let people live however they see fit. Why does it matter so much if people choose to remain single and child-free? Let people breathe and let them live, shesh
Zedrapazia 3 years ago
The reason why child free postings tend to be so passive aggressive is because these people are FED UP with being asked why the heck they don't want kids
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Nevits Yibble 3 years ago
Not wanting kids is cool. Don't have any, never will. I still celebrate mothers, though. And fathers. Tough, tough job
Nadine 3 years ago
Having or not having kids is a personal choice. No one should judge you or ask you. And while someone can lead a very happy life with no kids, one can also do with kids. I would never ever change anything about my life and I have 3 wonderful children that are pure love and joy. I enjoy every second with them. And I also don't want to be made to feel guilty about it.
Rhea 3 years ago
We enjoy going out for dinner a few times a month. My father-in-law once commented on this: "In our days, we didn't have the luxury of wasting all that money on eating out!" I'm so glad my husband simply replied with: "Thats because you choose to have children and mum choose to be a stay at home mum. Nothing wrong with people making different choices in different times."
Francesca Annoni 3 years ago (edited)
I have two kids.. I had first at 35 and second at 39.. I decided to have them now because at this moment my husband and I were the same way. For years everybody asked "when will you have kids?" "When everybody will stop asking" ..when I hear these conversations I get angry and take the defense of those who do not want children .. for years I didn't wanted kids too and I understand what it means. Having children or not having children is an extremely personal choice. I wanted to have children, "when" and "why" only concern me and my partner and no one else, and not wanting children is exactly the same.. I feel like a straight person defending LGBT rights.. because it's just right..
Gavin Johnson 3 years ago
I’m a single Dad who has a rather delightful ten year old daughter. She brings a ton of joy into my world. I have friends in their 30s, 40s & 50s who are all child free, we meet at gigs or pubs and I always know their reckless abandon with alcohol is not for me, here’s where it is different though, I love their devil-may-care attitude to life, some of it rubs off on me in a great way, I get to be Gavin, not Dad, I get to put the responsibilities aside and play at being childless every now and again. I’m properly pleased for my mates who’ve made the decision to not have children, they are living the lifestyle they choose, equally I love those who have chosen to have children. I’m in a new relationship and we’ve agreed that we both have the children we need in our lives, we will stick with those we have, we don’t need a child to prove we are in love or that we are committed to each other. That rules applies to everyone y’know?
Rakjell Hanwell 3 years ago
As a nursery school teacher I'd wish for people to stop having kids just because they feel like they have to, or because 'they are cute'. More often than not these kids end up for nine hours in daycare, never fully able to really bond with their parents. And I am not talking about single parents, who have to work two jobs, but parents who just 'really, really wanted a child' but also don't want to give up their three yearly holiday trips or their precious free time. Having a kid means having tonmake compromises. If you are not mature enough to see that or willing to do that, don't have a child.
Moo Moo Futch 3 years ago
Can I say now that I don't want kids because I genuinely dislike children so intensely that the thought of having one around me makes me want to punch my own lights out.
Janet C 2 years ago
I'm with you. I have a literal visceral response to the sound of kids -- makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I wince as if someone ran their fingernails across a blackboard.
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Will Cable 3 years ago
I am going to get slated for saying this, I just don't get these parents that rant about the planet, using its resources, wanting a brighter future for their children and then have 5+ children, buying them every toy, gadget etc going. Let their kids go feral, trespassing on others property, damaging other peoples property, creating another resource using consumer of the future and then moan at others saying ""Well if YOU had children then......"
Stille20 3 years ago
As someone who has chosen to be child free, it's a little annoying to have people comment... but also... not a big deal. Like it's not a struggle to be child free.
elStiJneriNO 3 years ago
I agree. If you can make your own choice then those questions don't matter. I think they matter more for people who want kids but are afraid to have to be confronted with monetary or biological reasons.
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Random Anon 3 years ago
Being Asian, it's normal to be asked this. And then the follow up about wanting to be with your children when you get old. Now being an older person, I ask them if they are being intrusive in their children's lives that way. None of them can answer without sounding selfish or admitting their children are merely retirement plans.
Mimi777 3 years ago
I have one kid and like I mentioned above I’m one and done. I completely understand and support why some people decide to be child free. Some people do not need to be parents and some just don’t want to be and that is ok. I honestly cannot stand the parents who look down on child free people and make their snarky comments about “you can’t be tired you don’t have a kid!!” For the longest I was child free and didn’t want one and those comments annoyed me so bad. I don’t understand why some people get personally offended by someone else’s choices, probably because they regret having a kid, like it mentioned above. Let people live how they want to. I also get annoyed by the people who give me s**t for only having one kid and then give their opinion on why only children are the worst.
Faith Hurst 3 years ago
Why do people care? No one is superior to others due to their having or lacking children. And none of their supposed perks are really only for either group.
Terd Fergison 3 years ago (edited)
If humans are fueling the climate change crisis, then out of control breeding is an issue. Humans are actively killing off entire species of innocent animals by the thousands (that is the worst possible thing I can think of). That's a problem; humanity is currently a huge problem. So bringing about more humans is a problem (unless you are living and coexisting in nature). Choosing to not have children to try to save humanity and other species is a morally correct decision. Choosing to bring another child into a horrible capitalist system is wrong unless they become a scientist or activist that works on stopping these catastrophic issues. Scientists say that climate change may have a tipping point where the damage is irreversible. Have you considered these things?
Load More Replies... elStiJneriNO 3 years ago
It's funny how on one side childless people like to say - i have so much more money to spend on ME. - i can go travel the world and buy everything i want But on the other hand they blame parents for - being selfish - bringing another kid in this capitalist system and dying world
Melissa TO 3 years ago (edited)
My 80+ year old neighbor gave us the best advice ever. She said "when people ask 'when are you having kids?', you just say 'we're trying'. It helps to look a little down when you say it. Then they'll be too nervous to ask again because they'll assume you're having "issues". Works like a charm. Now we're in our mid forties and haven't been asked since we got married in our twenties.
Janet C 2 years ago
But that will never help normalize not wanting them. More people need to proudly respond "We have chosen not to have any" and subsequently respond to any "why" questions with "Why do you care?" or "Why do you believe we owe you an explanation" or "What makes you think it is your business?" Saying "we're trying" continues to hide the fact that many people just don't want them.
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Terd Fergison 3 years ago
But, little humans turn into adult humans. Animals are generally innocent.
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Suzy the observer 3 years ago
54 and child-free by choice. I never regretted my decision. I was never drawn to kids and knew, at age 12, that they were not for me and I not for them. I would have been a terrible mother. If you do want them, ask yourself why. Most of the reasons for wanting them are BS. Be honest. Do not make a small being unhappy.
denzoren 3 years ago
As I said to a friend not even a week ago, "a child is an 18 year loan I'm not willing to take right now".
Terd Fergison 3 years ago
It could be much longer than 18 years. And if the child comes out handicapped, that is a full lifetime commitment.
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KT 3 years ago
This is more like a child hating group who think having kids is disgusting. There's a difference between child free and child hating
Terd Fergison 3 years ago
So, you know each individual mind of the person that wrote these? You were in their head and heard exactly what they thought? You sound like a c-u-n-t. And you are definitely wrong.
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Maris madness 3 years ago
My son has decided to be cf and I never have nor ever would pressure him. His life , his choice
Uber Mensch 3 years ago
I was open to the idea of having kids - right up to the point that my ex-wife said she wanted one so she 'would have something to play with'. Now divorced - with NO kids.
elStiJneriNO 3 years ago
i only got one reply to people who don't want kids. that's your choice and if that makes you happy, i'll be happy too you don't have kids.
Yoli Lawrence 2 years ago
My parents came to the conclusion years ago the only way they were getting grandkids out of me was if they came out with four feet, fur and whiskers… My theory was… I get pregnant with a litter of kittens, I make world news and I’m set for life with selling the story rights etc…. Also, if my kids get pregnant… I can sell the grandchildren!
CincyReds 3 years ago
I didn't like some of these, I don't put down any bodies choice to not have kids, I mean more like more power to you! But some of these were putting down people that had kids. I mean do you want the Human Race to end? I get so tired of people asking me if I am dating again, after I have had two significant partners pass away. So yas queen, I probably will never date again!
Diandra “Mss Didi” Blackthorn 3 years ago
Ever notice how these "have kids" people (along with pro-lifers) NEVER adopt any? How about pro-the-lives-already here?
Merrill N. Munro 3 years ago
This discussion is awesome. I'm childfree and never wanted kids. No, I don't hate kids, I have niece and nephews that I love dearly. I'll even babysit friends' kids on occasion! But, having or not having kids is a choice and I chose not to have any. I've been told that I missed out on a lot by not having them, and I agree. Haven't ever had postpartum depression, never had to scrounge to pay for daycare or beg people to watch my kids. Never had to feel selfish for taking "me time" to decompress. I know myself, I would not be a happy parent. Those who don't choose to be honest with themselves about not wanting kids often end up becoming resentful, depressed, uncaring or even worse, abusive to their kids. Know yourself and choose what's right for you.
JonaLou2U 3 years ago
It's a choice! We ALL need to respect one another's choices for their own lives. Every.Single.Time. It's the only way for everyone to be happy!
Terd Fergison 3 years ago
Should we respect the choice of big polluters? If people are actively destroying the environment for future generations? If people destroy the only environment human beings can survive in?
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shaDoria 3 years ago
I had an endometriosis surgery a few years ago; the day after the doc goes: endometriosis will probably come back, the EASIEST way to avoid it would be to get pregnant, quickly. I sat there, in my late 30s, not wanting kids, not even wanting a husband and wondered about the kindest way to tell him: HELL NO
Alexandra Nara 3 years ago
I've got three adult kids and regret not one single thing. But I crack up everytime someone noticing and start to explain automatically why they don't want any children. I don't even ask for that, so stop your explanation. Joy of life happens in so many ways I made my decision and you made yours so we are all fine with that.
CatWoman312 3 years ago
I’m pregnant for the first time and am super miserable because I realize my life is basically over. All my traveling plans? Gone. Sleeping in? Gone. Having extra money to just throw away on myself? Also gone. If you don’t want kids good for you. They are a huge financial burden and will change your life in ways that will likely lower your happiness.
Mockster 3 years ago
Just because you are having kids does not mean your life is over . Are they going to consume alot of time in your life yes bit you also need to prioritize making time for you and your partner to still go out and he yourselves without your kids and that is not being selfish. To make yourself the best parent you can be sometimes means saying no or doing something you want to do casue when you are at your best you parent your best. Your child should never make your life not happy .
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Zrinka Jelic 3 years ago
I understand people who for whatever reason don't want or can't have children. But the blatant haltered towards the parents and even the children is baffling. To the point that one person referred to parents as 'breeders' in her post. And the aversion toward children, I will never understand. What did the innocent child ever do to you to hate him/her so much? Okay, enjoy your childfree life and let us parents enjoy our kids. To each their own. Before the hateful replies start, let me clarify something. I've been in the childfree boat as well. I found myself still single at 35 and the questions from men started, when you're going to have kids, it's about time you marry had kids. No, sorry, I will not be a single mother. I would not deny my kid(s) his father. The right man arrived shortly after and I've done all of that. And yes, there were nights where I rocked the baby to sleep and wondered why I needed this. He is now 17 years old and very smart, responsible young man.
Jackie Porter 3 years ago
My sister and I both didn't want kids. There is a strong history of mental health issues in our family and we didn't want to subject any kids we might have to that torture. Both my cousins don't have children either. I did accidentally get pregnant when I was 19 years old (condom and pill failure, I'm just that unlucky) and I literally had to threaten to kill myself in order to get an abortion. My mental health was horrendous at the time and I had taken an overdose whilst pregnant (unknown by me at the time) so doctors agreed with me that I was at risk of suicide if I was made to carry to term. Whilst it was the most horrific experience I've ever been through, it was still the right one for me. I still suffer with mental health issues and can barely look after myself, let alone a baby.
Thorfin Wolfsbane 3 years ago
Had a customer at work ask me if I have a wife and kids. I asked him “do I look stupid?” That was the end of that discussion.
Dorothy Cloud 3 years ago
I read comment number 1 and quit. Good grief people I may have to stop looking at this. It's becoming so, so anti everything. Seriously....everything!
albernistuff 4sale 3 years ago
I am going to back you up on this, with the exception of abortion; the woman may not have had a choice in the pregnancy due to assault, poor education, etc. I am firm believer in a woman's right to control of her body. On the flip side, as a male, my right to choose was taken from me by an ex who tried to "save" the relationship. I was far to messed up to raise a child at that point in life, not to mention unemployment and poor job prospects. I will state that after years of therapy, improved financial circumstance, and general maturity I would be happy to become a parent. The problems is that by the time many of us are finacially secure and mature enough to be parents, we have aged-out.
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Random Panda 3 years ago (edited)
I think it's ok to have these kinds of posts, since there are also plenty of posts about children as well. But the content shouldn't be so heavily focused on bashing parents and pretending childfree people are the happiest of all. I have so many friends with kids and 99% of them happy as can be. I know very, very few people who seem to regret having kids and it's usually ones who were pushed into parenthood "because that's just what you do". So I'm all for normalising being childfree, especially because women can be denied medical care such as sterilisation, because their doctors think they will change their minds. But please stop competing over who is happier (same for parents). Live your life as you see fit and let others do the same.
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Anne 3 years ago
That would save the planet. there's how many humans? Too many anyway. Heck, with 10% of what we have now it would be a lot better.
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Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
Childfree people won't have children. And wishing kids on people who want them in hopes of them wanting them after they get them is just RIDICULOUS! How can you want to create a living, breathing HUMAN BEING with people who don't want it? You're sick.
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Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
I'm so happy to see that being childfree is finally becoming more normal and less of a taboo. Seeing more and more childfree stories on social media, news, sites like this and heard from famous people. It's good. People need to know there are choices. You don't have to have kids just because people act like it's normal.
Ivy Ruonakoski 3 years ago
Exactly. If you reeeeally want kids (and can afford them) then by all means, have them. But no one should be shamed for not wanting or having them.
Load More Replies... K2D2 3 years ago
Just imagine how far people would get in life if they had the ability to keep their projections in check and just let people live however they see fit. Why does it matter so much if people choose to remain single and child-free? Let people breathe and let them live, shesh
Zedrapazia 3 years ago
The reason why child free postings tend to be so passive aggressive is because these people are FED UP with being asked why the heck they don't want kids
Load More Replies... Nevits Yibble 3 years ago
Not wanting kids is cool. Don't have any, never will. I still celebrate mothers, though. And fathers. Tough, tough job
Nadine 3 years ago
Having or not having kids is a personal choice. No one should judge you or ask you. And while someone can lead a very happy life with no kids, one can also do with kids. I would never ever change anything about my life and I have 3 wonderful children that are pure love and joy. I enjoy every second with them. And I also don't want to be made to feel guilty about it.
Rhea 3 years ago
We enjoy going out for dinner a few times a month. My father-in-law once commented on this: "In our days, we didn't have the luxury of wasting all that money on eating out!" I'm so glad my husband simply replied with: "Thats because you choose to have children and mum choose to be a stay at home mum. Nothing wrong with people making different choices in different times."
Francesca Annoni 3 years ago (edited)
I have two kids.. I had first at 35 and second at 39.. I decided to have them now because at this moment my husband and I were the same way. For years everybody asked "when will you have kids?" "When everybody will stop asking" ..when I hear these conversations I get angry and take the defense of those who do not want children .. for years I didn't wanted kids too and I understand what it means. Having children or not having children is an extremely personal choice. I wanted to have children, "when" and "why" only concern me and my partner and no one else, and not wanting children is exactly the same.. I feel like a straight person defending LGBT rights.. because it's just right..
Gavin Johnson 3 years ago
I’m a single Dad who has a rather delightful ten year old daughter. She brings a ton of joy into my world. I have friends in their 30s, 40s & 50s who are all child free, we meet at gigs or pubs and I always know their reckless abandon with alcohol is not for me, here’s where it is different though, I love their devil-may-care attitude to life, some of it rubs off on me in a great way, I get to be Gavin, not Dad, I get to put the responsibilities aside and play at being childless every now and again. I’m properly pleased for my mates who’ve made the decision to not have children, they are living the lifestyle they choose, equally I love those who have chosen to have children. I’m in a new relationship and we’ve agreed that we both have the children we need in our lives, we will stick with those we have, we don’t need a child to prove we are in love or that we are committed to each other. That rules applies to everyone y’know?
Rakjell Hanwell 3 years ago
As a nursery school teacher I'd wish for people to stop having kids just because they feel like they have to, or because 'they are cute'. More often than not these kids end up for nine hours in daycare, never fully able to really bond with their parents. And I am not talking about single parents, who have to work two jobs, but parents who just 'really, really wanted a child' but also don't want to give up their three yearly holiday trips or their precious free time. Having a kid means having tonmake compromises. If you are not mature enough to see that or willing to do that, don't have a child.
Moo Moo Futch 3 years ago
Can I say now that I don't want kids because I genuinely dislike children so intensely that the thought of having one around me makes me want to punch my own lights out.
Janet C 2 years ago
I'm with you. I have a literal visceral response to the sound of kids -- makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I wince as if someone ran their fingernails across a blackboard.
Load More Replies... Will Cable 3 years ago
I am going to get slated for saying this, I just don't get these parents that rant about the planet, using its resources, wanting a brighter future for their children and then have 5+ children, buying them every toy, gadget etc going. Let their kids go feral, trespassing on others property, damaging other peoples property, creating another resource using consumer of the future and then moan at others saying ""Well if YOU had children then......"
Stille20 3 years ago
As someone who has chosen to be child free, it's a little annoying to have people comment... but also... not a big deal. Like it's not a struggle to be child free.
elStiJneriNO 3 years ago
I agree. If you can make your own choice then those questions don't matter. I think they matter more for people who want kids but are afraid to have to be confronted with monetary or biological reasons.
Load More Replies... Random Anon 3 years ago
Being Asian, it's normal to be asked this. And then the follow up about wanting to be with your children when you get old. Now being an older person, I ask them if they are being intrusive in their children's lives that way. None of them can answer without sounding selfish or admitting their children are merely retirement plans.
Mimi777 3 years ago
I have one kid and like I mentioned above I’m one and done. I completely understand and support why some people decide to be child free. Some people do not need to be parents and some just don’t want to be and that is ok. I honestly cannot stand the parents who look down on child free people and make their snarky comments about “you can’t be tired you don’t have a kid!!” For the longest I was child free and didn’t want one and those comments annoyed me so bad. I don’t understand why some people get personally offended by someone else’s choices, probably because they regret having a kid, like it mentioned above. Let people live how they want to. I also get annoyed by the people who give me s**t for only having one kid and then give their opinion on why only children are the worst.
Faith Hurst 3 years ago
Why do people care? No one is superior to others due to their having or lacking children. And none of their supposed perks are really only for either group.
Terd Fergison 3 years ago (edited)
If humans are fueling the climate change crisis, then out of control breeding is an issue. Humans are actively killing off entire species of innocent animals by the thousands (that is the worst possible thing I can think of). That's a problem; humanity is currently a huge problem. So bringing about more humans is a problem (unless you are living and coexisting in nature). Choosing to not have children to try to save humanity and other species is a morally correct decision. Choosing to bring another child into a horrible capitalist system is wrong unless they become a scientist or activist that works on stopping these catastrophic issues. Scientists say that climate change may have a tipping point where the damage is irreversible. Have you considered these things?
Load More Replies... elStiJneriNO 3 years ago
It's funny how on one side childless people like to say - i have so much more money to spend on ME. - i can go travel the world and buy everything i want But on the other hand they blame parents for - being selfish - bringing another kid in this capitalist system and dying world
Melissa TO 3 years ago (edited)
My 80+ year old neighbor gave us the best advice ever. She said "when people ask 'when are you having kids?', you just say 'we're trying'. It helps to look a little down when you say it. Then they'll be too nervous to ask again because they'll assume you're having "issues". Works like a charm. Now we're in our mid forties and haven't been asked since we got married in our twenties.
Janet C 2 years ago
But that will never help normalize not wanting them. More people need to proudly respond "We have chosen not to have any" and subsequently respond to any "why" questions with "Why do you care?" or "Why do you believe we owe you an explanation" or "What makes you think it is your business?" Saying "we're trying" continues to hide the fact that many people just don't want them.
Load More Replies... Terd Fergison 3 years ago
But, little humans turn into adult humans. Animals are generally innocent.
Load More Replies... Suzy the observer 3 years ago
54 and child-free by choice. I never regretted my decision. I was never drawn to kids and knew, at age 12, that they were not for me and I not for them. I would have been a terrible mother. If you do want them, ask yourself why. Most of the reasons for wanting them are BS. Be honest. Do not make a small being unhappy.
denzoren 3 years ago
As I said to a friend not even a week ago, "a child is an 18 year loan I'm not willing to take right now".
Terd Fergison 3 years ago
It could be much longer than 18 years. And if the child comes out handicapped, that is a full lifetime commitment.
Load More Replies... KT 3 years ago
This is more like a child hating group who think having kids is disgusting. There's a difference between child free and child hating
Terd Fergison 3 years ago
So, you know each individual mind of the person that wrote these? You were in their head and heard exactly what they thought? You sound like a c-u-n-t. And you are definitely wrong.
Load More Replies... Maris madness 3 years ago
My son has decided to be cf and I never have nor ever would pressure him. His life , his choice
Uber Mensch 3 years ago
I was open to the idea of having kids - right up to the point that my ex-wife said she wanted one so she 'would have something to play with'. Now divorced - with NO kids.
elStiJneriNO 3 years ago
i only got one reply to people who don't want kids. that's your choice and if that makes you happy, i'll be happy too you don't have kids.
Yoli Lawrence 2 years ago
My parents came to the conclusion years ago the only way they were getting grandkids out of me was if they came out with four feet, fur and whiskers… My theory was… I get pregnant with a litter of kittens, I make world news and I’m set for life with selling the story rights etc…. Also, if my kids get pregnant… I can sell the grandchildren!
CincyReds 3 years ago
I didn't like some of these, I don't put down any bodies choice to not have kids, I mean more like more power to you! But some of these were putting down people that had kids. I mean do you want the Human Race to end? I get so tired of people asking me if I am dating again, after I have had two significant partners pass away. So yas queen, I probably will never date again!
Diandra “Mss Didi” Blackthorn 3 years ago
Ever notice how these "have kids" people (along with pro-lifers) NEVER adopt any? How about pro-the-lives-already here?
Merrill N. Munro 3 years ago
This discussion is awesome. I'm childfree and never wanted kids. No, I don't hate kids, I have niece and nephews that I love dearly. I'll even babysit friends' kids on occasion! But, having or not having kids is a choice and I chose not to have any. I've been told that I missed out on a lot by not having them, and I agree. Haven't ever had postpartum depression, never had to scrounge to pay for daycare or beg people to watch my kids. Never had to feel selfish for taking "me time" to decompress. I know myself, I would not be a happy parent. Those who don't choose to be honest with themselves about not wanting kids often end up becoming resentful, depressed, uncaring or even worse, abusive to their kids. Know yourself and choose what's right for you.
JonaLou2U 3 years ago
It's a choice! We ALL need to respect one another's choices for their own lives. Every.Single.Time. It's the only way for everyone to be happy!
Terd Fergison 3 years ago
Should we respect the choice of big polluters? If people are actively destroying the environment for future generations? If people destroy the only environment human beings can survive in?
Load More Replies... shaDoria 3 years ago
I had an endometriosis surgery a few years ago; the day after the doc goes: endometriosis will probably come back, the EASIEST way to avoid it would be to get pregnant, quickly. I sat there, in my late 30s, not wanting kids, not even wanting a husband and wondered about the kindest way to tell him: HELL NO
Alexandra Nara 3 years ago
I've got three adult kids and regret not one single thing. But I crack up everytime someone noticing and start to explain automatically why they don't want any children. I don't even ask for that, so stop your explanation. Joy of life happens in so many ways I made my decision and you made yours so we are all fine with that.
CatWoman312 3 years ago
I’m pregnant for the first time and am super miserable because I realize my life is basically over. All my traveling plans? Gone. Sleeping in? Gone. Having extra money to just throw away on myself? Also gone. If you don’t want kids good for you. They are a huge financial burden and will change your life in ways that will likely lower your happiness.
Mockster 3 years ago
Just because you are having kids does not mean your life is over . Are they going to consume alot of time in your life yes bit you also need to prioritize making time for you and your partner to still go out and he yourselves without your kids and that is not being selfish. To make yourself the best parent you can be sometimes means saying no or doing something you want to do casue when you are at your best you parent your best. Your child should never make your life not happy .
Load More Replies... Zrinka Jelic 3 years ago
I understand people who for whatever reason don't want or can't have children. But the blatant haltered towards the parents and even the children is baffling. To the point that one person referred to parents as 'breeders' in her post. And the aversion toward children, I will never understand. What did the innocent child ever do to you to hate him/her so much? Okay, enjoy your childfree life and let us parents enjoy our kids. To each their own. Before the hateful replies start, let me clarify something. I've been in the childfree boat as well. I found myself still single at 35 and the questions from men started, when you're going to have kids, it's about time you marry had kids. No, sorry, I will not be a single mother. I would not deny my kid(s) his father. The right man arrived shortly after and I've done all of that. And yes, there were nights where I rocked the baby to sleep and wondered why I needed this. He is now 17 years old and very smart, responsible young man.
Jackie Porter 3 years ago
My sister and I both didn't want kids. There is a strong history of mental health issues in our family and we didn't want to subject any kids we might have to that torture. Both my cousins don't have children either. I did accidentally get pregnant when I was 19 years old (condom and pill failure, I'm just that unlucky) and I literally had to threaten to kill myself in order to get an abortion. My mental health was horrendous at the time and I had taken an overdose whilst pregnant (unknown by me at the time) so doctors agreed with me that I was at risk of suicide if I was made to carry to term. Whilst it was the most horrific experience I've ever been through, it was still the right one for me. I still suffer with mental health issues and can barely look after myself, let alone a baby.
Thorfin Wolfsbane 3 years ago
Had a customer at work ask me if I have a wife and kids. I asked him “do I look stupid?” That was the end of that discussion.
Dorothy Cloud 3 years ago
I read comment number 1 and quit. Good grief people I may have to stop looking at this. It's becoming so, so anti everything. Seriously....everything!
albernistuff 4sale 3 years ago
I am going to back you up on this, with the exception of abortion; the woman may not have had a choice in the pregnancy due to assault, poor education, etc. I am firm believer in a woman's right to control of her body. On the flip side, as a male, my right to choose was taken from me by an ex who tried to "save" the relationship. I was far to messed up to raise a child at that point in life, not to mention unemployment and poor job prospects. I will state that after years of therapy, improved financial circumstance, and general maturity I would be happy to become a parent. The problems is that by the time many of us are finacially secure and mature enough to be parents, we have aged-out.
Load More Replies... Random Panda 3 years ago (edited)
I think it's ok to have these kinds of posts, since there are also plenty of posts about children as well. But the content shouldn't be so heavily focused on bashing parents and pretending childfree people are the happiest of all. I have so many friends with kids and 99% of them happy as can be. I know very, very few people who seem to regret having kids and it's usually ones who were pushed into parenthood "because that's just what you do". So I'm all for normalising being childfree, especially because women can be denied medical care such as sterilisation, because their doctors think they will change their minds. But please stop competing over who is happier (same for parents). Live your life as you see fit and let others do the same.
Load More Replies... Anne 3 years ago
That would save the planet. there's how many humans? Too many anyway. Heck, with 10% of what we have now it would be a lot better.
Load More Replies... Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
Childfree people won't have children. And wishing kids on people who want them in hopes of them wanting them after they get them is just RIDICULOUS! How can you want to create a living, breathing HUMAN BEING with people who don't want it? You're sick.
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