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Committing to a relationship with someone means you're putting your heart into their hands and letting them decide what to do with it. If you're lucky, they will nurture it and the two of you will form a connection like no other. But they might break it, too. Which is why the people we love the most are the ones that can make us the maddest, too.

A breakup or divorce can be one of the most stressful and emotional experiences in our lives. The (abrupt) end of a relationship can turn our whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling emotions. Like a burning desire for revenge.

We at Bored Panda compiled a list of vivid examples to show you what things lovers are capable of if their (ex) partners hurt them badly enough. They may not guarantee a path toward a healthy recovery, but everyone has their own way of coping.

To get a better understanding of these actions and the feelings that caused them, we contacted psychotherapist, writer, and consultant, Kaytee Gillis.

"Stories of people getting revenge for feeling betrayed or wronged in relationships fill movie scripts, and the behaviors are even encouraged and laughed at in many social groups," Gillis, who has a deep passion for helping survivors of traumatic relationships — whether familial or romantic — told Bored Panda.

"One famous song even boasts lyrics about smashing headlights and slicing someone's tires for cheating. Although music is an expressive art form [and it is] most likely not a true story, it shines a light on behaviors that many excuse. And while it might be normal to want to get revenge over being wronged, actually taking action to do that can quickly turn into unhealthy behaviors, or even abuse."

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    Gillis, the author of It's Not "High Conflict" It's Post-Separation Abuse, thinks that being hurt after the ending of a relationship is normal.

    "If the person wronged you somehow, such as breaking your heart, ghosting you or cheating, it can [even] feel devastating," she said.

    "But when pain and anger turn into behaviors that put another person's safety or livelihood at risk, this is abusive and is never a good way to cope with the pain of a breakup."

    #5

    Ex-Girlfriend Gets Revenge

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    The psychotherapist said that destroying property, spreading rumors as an attempt to harm or discredit someone, keeping the children away from them, or boasting about getting them fired from their job are all common ways that people try to get revenge on an ex.

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    "However, this form of revenge is what mental health clinicians refer to as post-separation abuse, or abuse that takes place after a relationship ends. Revenge is abusive, and putting someone's safety at risk is never okay, and it is never funny," Gillis emphasized.

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    Knowing how to break up could possibly remedy some of the emotions that lead to the extreme lengths that Gillis has mentioned. And while it's not easy for anyone to be good at it, teens are particularly bad at ending things, and growing up online has made it worse.

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    Though most teens think the best way to break up is in person, 37 percent of them consider a text breakup at least moderately acceptable and 1 in 4 thinks it's okay to do the job by simply changing your social media status to "single."

    That's according to a Pew Research Center report that came out in 2015, five years before the pandemic sent everyone's social lives, and so much else, even further into cyberspace.

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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most refrigerators are not light. I need to know more about how he is lifting this

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    Bobby
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So the toledo bend area(Texas) has a 409 area code. I think that's funny cause toledo (ohio) has 419

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    "If you feel you must get revenge, it is important to take time and self-reflect on why this is," Gillis said. "Is it to 'get back at' someone who wronged you?"

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    "Recognize that these feelings themselves are not abnormal, and have compassion for the part of you that feels wronged, but do not take action."

    #16

    Guy Gets Cheated On By His Long-Time Girlfriend And Decides To Revenge

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    "It is okay, and even encouraged, to vent about that person to your friends, family, and support system. Write about them in your journal. But do not post publicly on social media, as this will make you look immature and vindictive."

    "And, as always, remember that any acts of violence or abuse are illegal, and could result in fines, imprisonment, and will obviously make you look vindictive and abusive. Instead, seek mental health support to help you through this time if you feel that you are going to take action to harm someone out of revenge," the psychotherapist said.

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    #21

    The New Cold War

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    Nadine Khazaka
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They always say it's the kids who suffer the most, nobody thinks about the innocent dads.

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    #22

    Best Use For Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress. Snow Camo

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    #23

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    #24

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    #25

    Emotional Ex Eviscerates Estate With Eyeshadow

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    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I work as a paralegal in a family law office. DO. NOT. DO. THIS. If the husband hires an attorney, they will force you to pay for that sh*t you destroyed or even file criminal charges against you. That will only hurt you in the long run because you could have gotten money from the sale of the house. Not it will take THOUSANDS to repair and you may not sell the house for years.

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    #26

    While Preparing For My Garage Sale, I Found A Pendant My Ex Gave Me... I Decided To Be A Little Creative With Selling It

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    #27

    My Friend's Girlfriend Moved Out And Took Everything, Including The Drawer Handles

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    #29

    A Japanese Woman Discovered Her Boyfriend Was Cheating, So She Gathered All His Apple Devices And Dumped Them Into A Tub Full Of Water

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    #30

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    Bobby
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've got an ex I'm still on really good terms with. I can either of us sending this to the other and whoever got it laughing

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    #31

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    #32

    The Bride Continues With The Whole Wedding And Just Happens To Have Photos Of The Groom Cheating To Expose Him At The End With

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    Well Deserved Revenge

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    A Wild Bean
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

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    necessary cephalopod
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This says more about the gf and mom than anything else... Good parents don't let a 'lifelong rift' happen just because their stupid young kid cheated.

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    #40

    Cheating Husband

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    Fat Harry
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    Marley Nachi
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    #42

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    Very Normal Giraffe
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look how proud she is! I really hope he sees this and feels ashamed. Don't cheat guys!

    #43

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    Hphizzle
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not the glitter!!! That will haunt him for years to come!

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    #44

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    POST
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone with a shirt like that is not worth marrying. "Hey, person i'm about to publicly announce my undying love for, I'm also going to publicly announce how much I'm going to hate being tethered to you for the rest of my life."

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    #47

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    Eva Kašu
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should return it to the shop/sell and buy something for yourself!

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    #48

    When Your Ex Can Still Control Your Thermostat

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    Apps
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hmm... guy has no life. He needs to move on and trade up in job, partner and house. It's true, living well (and genuinely being happy) is the best revenge!

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    #49

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    Maybe Next Time He'll Think Before He Cheats

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    #52

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    Henry Russell
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    still hot sauce ill accept that happily. honestly though cholula is the best hot sauce i dont like tabasco

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    #54

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    #55

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    #56

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    #57

    My Neighbor Caught Her Husband Cheating

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    Very Normal Giraffe
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor neighbor. Also btw: I know she was probably angry at the time but I also feel bad for the other people who lived in the complex who had to deal with the mess. I hope the lady or her ex ends up cleaning it up.

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    #59

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    #61

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    Very Normal Giraffe
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, cheating is horrible. I understand why someone would do this after getting cheated on, but (I know nothing about law but I'm pretty sure) breaking the car could get you in a lot of legal trouble.

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    #62

    This Punishment

    This Punishment

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    #63

    My Ex-Boyfriend Encrypted My External Hard Drive To Get Revenge On Me

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    #64

    Tiktok User Gets Revenge On Ex By Signing Him Up To Email Newsletters. "I Sign Mine Up For Home Visits From Jehovah's Witnesses," Someone Else Admitted. "It's Been 3 Years"

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    POST
    Weasel Wise
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Downvote that shīt! THREE years?! Move on with your life already! You two probably weren't even together for that long. Time to stop wasting all that time and energy on an ex from THREE YEARS AGO and invest that into a good therapist.

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    #65

    Guy Gets Revenge On Cheating Ex By Sending Her Pics Of Topless Trio In His Bathroom

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    #66

    Guy Goes Full Savage Mode And Proceeds To Bang All Of His Ex's Close Female Friends

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    Brendan (banned for downvotes)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, sure this happened. Three girls who are very close to your ex just let you bang them.

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    #68

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    #69

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    Anon Gets A Divorce

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    POST
    Purple light
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Dream job if you are a f.." I hate him for using that slur. Censoring that word, doesn't make it allright to post this, Bored Panda.

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