Life is full of ups and downs. So when Reddit user Unorthodox69 made a post on the platform, asking its users "What's a sad truth you've come to accept?", many felt like sharing.
Whether we look at the answers about things outside of our control, like other people's thoughts, opinions, and behaviors, or our own mistakes, they serve as reminders that sometimes, no matter how good our intentions are, it just doesn't work out.
However, acceptance is genuinely an important first step in getting past uncomfortable situations. So at least they're not lying to themselves, right?
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The next generation is already set up for failure. Good and rational people are no longer having kids. Idiots and bigots are reproducing like anything.
The first sentence of this sh*tpost is being repeated by literally every generation. Yet the world is still spinning. In fact, the modern "bigots" are milder than the "upstanding citizens" of several decades ago.
I'm pretty sure there's a Plato quote about how children don't listen anymore haha
Load More Replies...People. Please. Idiocracy is not reality. Intelligence is not (only) genetic. But yes, we should invest in the education of *all* children.
Had a teacher over 50years ago tell the class that it takes ages of planning to take over a government. You first set up people in the lower branches, then slowly add more and more. Till you have your people everywhere. This is what we are witnessing not just in America but all over. A slow rise given voice by social media.
A massive overgeneralization. So many problems with this statement but here's a few from psychological peer-reviewed literature (which are correlations and tendencies, so more often than not): people with kids tend to be happier, to be more concerned about the future, to have more meaning and purpose in their lives, and have less problems with mental health. The list goes on and on, and is easily searchable through Google scholar. Contrary to popular belief, hedonism does not correlate with true happiness.
The whole question of if having kids makes you a bigot or an idiot (it doesn’t) aside, the world is set up to fail right now. Climate change should really be called climate instability. Our biosphere is destabilizing, and future generations, are factually set up to fail.
Load More Replies...It's always been like that, it's just the Internet makes us more aware of what's going on 😕
Unfortunately true... my cousin just had his 6th kid, which will be home schooled with its siblings, which will be done by their Christian extremist Qanon mother... I refuse to have kids because I've know for over a decade what the climate change catastrophe will bring, and unfortunately it's already happening ahead of schedule...
Just because someone is family doesn't mean they have your best interest in heart.
Family can mean a lot of things. Blood doesn't mean anything to me. My family is my friends and my cats, they mean everything to me
something that i want to teach my future kids is family doesnt have to be by blood, eomething my mom doesnt approve of. i also want my kids to know just because youre related by blood doesnt mean you have to like someone. it happens and you cant like everyone. and unfortunately its a family member, but some things cant be fixed
Load More Replies...Blood family can hurt you, betray you, just like anyone else. If they are not good people, leave them behind.
You only got one family" Yeah you only got one appendix too but when it f*cks with your health you cut that b*tch out of your life
Know the difference between in-laws and outlaws.
Load More Replies...It's said that blood is thicker than water. And some relatives are thicker than most.
I understand what there saying but they did not have to use that picture the looks in his eye's saying don't worry grandma I'm here
You mean just because someone is a relative....people related to you who don't gaf about you are not FAMILY.
No matter how good you are at your job, you are disposable and replaceable.
My ego was so big when I was younger I thought I could never be fired and the company would suffer if I were to quit. A friend of mine asked me "has a company ever gone out of business because you were gone??" Slapped me back to reality. Thank you Tom 😊
Yep, and nobody really cares if you go the extra mile when it’s time for raises. And they’ll still lay you off in a heartbeat when there’s an economic downturn.
If you aren't, the organization you work for is messed up. Maybe not the disposable part, but everyone should be replaceable. Life happens.
If you are a gifted brain surgeon you're not as easily replaceable...lol
Load More Replies...I wish this were true. I've seen a dude literally admit to raping an employee and he kept his job cause he was the only person who knew how the system he oversaw worked.
Surely that's not an internal company decision when it's a criminal offence. Obviously not, but what the f**k is wrong with people. Did the guy also design the system that he oversaw so that he could never be fired?
Load More Replies...This is not always a BAD thing. I used to work myself really HARD because (a) I thought if I didn't, I wouldn't keep my job; and (b) I thought if I weren't there, nobody could do my job. Then I got COVID of all things and missed work for 10 days. It was still there when I got back. Everybody lived. I realized I could RELAX a bit, cruise a bit, lighten up a bit. It's not always bad to be not-so-important.
So many people are like this. My father worked all the hours, even when he was hospitalised he was working on projects for work on his laptop instead of healing. He even was so busy with work before massive six hours long surgery he failed to spend any time with my mum before hand. We had to move around the country for his job leaving school after school, job after job for my mum. We lost all our friends for his career and he was so shocked that his work replaced him Before he'd actually finished the required sick leave time for early retirement. Jobs over respect for family Stinks 😒😒
Of course you have people that are more competent than others and therefore are special to the company, society, their friends and so on. However you have to be replaceable if the company wants to survive, if you are not replaceable the company made a big mistake.
Load More Replies...This is why you need to stalk the daughter (or son) of the person in charge and give them a mind-blowing orgasm so then you aren't all that replaceable. Make sure though you get it on audio and video should the need arise in court.
You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
Sometimes people have to hit their rock bottom before they want help. For some, rock bottom becomes a comfort and they never will want to be helped. At that point, just accept that's how they want to live. Nothing much more you can do about it, other than leave.
Yes! And sometimes people want to be better but don't want to do the work. I was in a therapy group for awhile for people with mood disorders. I was really trying to come out of a deep depression and the group helped. But I soon realized that others in the group were asking for the same advice over and over again but never seemed to do anything about it. They had been a part of that group for years before I joined. There's nothing wrong with staying with a group for support, but change doesn't occur in a vacuum. I managed to get myself to the point where I felt healthy enough to finally get my degree while in my 30's. Unfortunately, I had to leave the group because it started to become detrimental to my mental health. I ran into one of the members a couple of years later and he was in the same place that he had been. I think you're right that some people get comfort from that and it almost becomes their identity. It's very sad.
Load More Replies...Not entirely true. Many people have lost hope to the point, where they cannot believe they are able to be helped.
That's exactly what the sentence said. Because if you try to help those they put all their energy into proving you that they can't be helped instead of accepting help. So all you can do is to let go and leave or be dragged down and suffer too.
Load More Replies...If you lie down in traffic, I can drag you to the side of the road whether you want to be rescued or not. This is true both literally and metaphorically. Fix the person's problem, and his attitude may follow. And yes, addressing his problem effectively without his co-operation can be tough. But I was a math teacher, so I did that for a living.
Sometimes though they're too afraid to start or they're unable to comprehend anymore what to do 😔
I never understood this statement. I help when I can. As far as I know, NOBODY has said they don't want help.
I can never have another drink of alcohol.
6 years sober
Oh wow, I know I said it above,, but nice one, it's not an easy battle and deserves recognition.
Load More Replies...Nicely done, it's not an easy battle and deserves recognition.
Load More Replies...I have 8 years of sobriety. To me, never having to have another drink of alcohol is nothing but good news.
Congratulations. I'm nearly at 250 days without a cigarette and now I don't drink or toke anything anymore.
This has been my personal war for years. Its like a knife fight in a phone booth. Sober as we speak.
Somebody said that alcohol is just wet carbohydrates. Your 6 years' sobriety proves how strong you are. Congratulations on your achievement.
Stay strong 🙌 congrats. Prayers for continued victory for you and your loved ones
Social media has destroyed our mental health and society, but it also is Pandora's Box. There's no putting this lid back on.
I know this is true for a lot of other people, but for me it seems to be one of the only places I can escape to, especially because bored panda is the only website I look at
As terrible as SM can be, it's also been a valuable tool for someone like me. Places like BP, help me learn to interact socially when words are written. I've spent a lot of years in social skills groups, (which is great when I can physically see expressions/ body language or hear inflections in voices) but it doesn't really prepare you for understanding intent when you have no other cues, and you don't know the person. I still will never have a Tik Tok, FB, Twitter, Insta, etc...but I'm also not like "social media bad, raawwr!" 🤷♀️
I am not going to let my kids have iPads early, instead ill give them toys, and play with them.
I gave up all social media 2 years ago. Been the best 2 years since I ever joined FB
I personally struggle with the glossiness of Instagram. My mood shifts immediately when I am on it. Which means, I avoid it. Same thing for Twitter, and almost all comment sections. There have always been people who visit a new place and read Letters to the Editor first, now those writers and readers have the ultimate megaphone. Thanks Pandas for being so incredible.
never fall in love with someone twice, the second time you'll be falling for the memories
The heart has a long memory, and falling in love twice is like trying to rewrite a tale that has already been told.
Not necessarily true. My grandparents were married with 5 kids, got a divorce after about 20 years of marriage, got back together and spent the rest of their years together. My grandmother was by my grandfather's side when he passed in hospice.
I have a friend whose parents were high school sweethearts. They broke up, his Mom married someone else, he was born, but the marriage was a disaster. They divorced. Birth father wanted nothing to do with either of them ever again. Mom met childhood sweetheart again, got married and were happily married ever since. My friend considered his (technically) step-father to be his real father, not only because he treated my friend like a real son, but also because his parents would sometimes tell him that they were meant to be together, and he was meant to be their son. It was a really loving family.
Load More Replies...People rarely if ever change. They just get better at hiding their faults.
This is so true. I recently reconnected with my first love (I was also his) after 30 something years. It really is about the memories and emotions. I realized he hasn't changed but, I still love him and always will, just not in the same way.
I'm back with my first love after 17 years apart and this time I have a beautiful step-daughter as well. I couldn't be happier. Maybe my experience is more the exception than the rule, idk.
Hard work does not equal success.
Moral of the story: don't work hard unless there's something in it for you. And don't expect others to work hard.
Sadly, that's true. If you don't take care of you, nobody else will. Hard truth.
Load More Replies...Success comes from connections, opportunity, timing and hard work. Unfortunately in that order.
But success often requires hard work. Try being a successful spouse, parent, or friend without it.
Success comes from a combination of having the right knowledge, being at the right time at the right place, which means having a good judgement, working smart, which means using what you have to the best effect and definitely knowing when to say NO and when to give your all, and luck. You can have all of the first things, which you can partially influence and steer, but without being lucky too nothing of thar will give you success.
This is undeniably true, but as a child we were taught the lie that it does.
Hard work is a basic need for success but hard work alone doesn't get you anywhere if you don't check the other boxes. And hard work can keep you in poverty if you only focus on the work but not on developing yourself and enjoying life next to work.
Load More Replies...The mantra to work hard is very much a Protestant ethic as well as a capitalist ideology. Came with industrialisation. Taking time to enjoy life, having a day in the week when everything is closed so you just chill is healthy.
Don't you think it's rather a consequence of winter? You have to work hard in summer to survive Winter. Nations without cold winters or no winters at all have a much more chilled approach to work.
Load More Replies...No, maybe not everyone appreciates or recognizes your work, but if you know you did great give yourself credit and a reward. Just don't work harder than you really have to.
You can do everything right and still fail.
Didn't Picard say something along the lines of this? That you can make no mistakes and still lose and that's just life?
Yes, "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life."
Load More Replies...Sometimes it's not about what you did wrong it's about what the other side did right
Also depends on your definition of 'Fail'. if you 'Fail' to win a gold medal at a sport, you have still beaten literally everyone else. To me, that's a 'win'
But you did the market research. You knew the product would sell. But it doesn't, because 10.000km away someone had the same idea and also did everything right. The difference is, the other person knows a successful marketing expert, who he could never normally afford, but who is willing to do it for a few peanuts, because they are friends. Both of you go public at the same time, but you have no chance, as the advertising campaign of your competitor is way to successful for you to do anything against it. Your product is thought of as a cheap knock off by most people and after a year or so, you are broke. You had the right idea at the right time, but outside influence you couldn't have known already doomed you before you even got started.
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The narcissists in your family will never give you the apology you deserve.
They will sooner throw you under the bus and make you wish you were never born before they ever admit to doing you wrong.
Yup my middle daughter did that to me. She made me feel so bad I tried to take my life and ended up on the psych ward for a while. My psychiatrist told me that she believes my daughter is a narcissist with sociopathic tenancies and if I continued having contact with her she will end up with me succeeding in taking my life. So I went no contact with her. It's hard because she is my daughter and I love her but I can't stand her behaviour or the way she treats everyone, especially me.
Load More Replies...Time waiting for an apology (or an "I'm proud of you!" for that matter) is better spent learning to forgive them. That doesn't mean including them in your future, it just means making peace with the past.
That comes with healing and that is a loooong road.
Load More Replies...Yes, it makes you feel crazy. Especially when you have empathy and you see the delight in their eyes when they hurt you. Father was too, but I never foresaw the need to protect my heart from the child I bore. I gave it all to her, like I would never a partner or anyone else the moment she was born. I'm sure this messes with you big time, like me.
Load More Replies...No narcissist will ever put you first, apologize, or empathize unless there is something in it for them. They will manipulate it so they appear good. Like a child "see me, I did a good thing." If they can't get that ounce....you will never hear their insincere words.
Didn't know that my mom was bi-polar when I was a kid, just knew that something wasn't right. I got badly hurt in grade school one day, my hip was dislocated and my teacher had to carry me to the school nurse's office (I was so embarrassed!) Instead of taking me to the doctor to be checked out, she drove me home, telling me that I was just faking it to get out of school . That's something she probably did but I always loved school, it was a safe place. I spent a week crawling in pain until somehow the leg sorta went back into place, but have always had issues with that hip and leg. Even now, 40 years later, she just laughs at the story, it wouldn't have taken a lot to drive me to the doctor, at the time we had health insurance that actually covered everything, but she believed what she believed and the truth doesn't faze her ever.
Can we stop calling a******s "narcissists" Narcissistic personality disorder is a real thing. What most people mean when they say this is selfish a*****e. The selfish a*****e in your family will never give you an apology.
Mom and brother. It's rough. Don't speak to my brother anymore. Mom is close behind
Why just "in your family"? Are the narcissists I'm not related to any better?
YOu can cut them out of life more easily. Family, not so much. Especially if they are your mother, child or sibling/s.
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Love isn’t enough to make a relationship work.
It makes me sad to think this is where my marriage is. I love him but his alcoholism..... I told him once that I didn't want alcohol in the house anymore. He asked why he had to suffer because I grew up with alcoholics. He drinks a case of beer a day. Everyday... We've been together for over a decade. He's always drunk, sleeping, or at work. Writing this reinforces the reality.
Hi. I suggest you read "too good to leave, too bad to stay". I was ambivalent in my decision about whether to stay in my marriage or leave and this book really gave me a lot of tips to try and make a relationship work or pointed me at which point the marriage is not going to be successful and it may be better to leave.
Load More Replies...No, that's still not enough. No matter how much you put in it, if the values and beliefs are in dissonance, the relationship will fail or you'll end up giving up your own beliefs and values to make it work and it still fails, because then you're miserable and start resenting them. No matter how much you want it to work, sometimes two people are just too different and not meant to be, without one being the bad person Just imagine an extreme introvert who dreams of living alone in the woods and hopefully never see anyone except their spouse and some deer and the other being a hardcore party animal in need of regular outings and party. They can't work. Either one has constant anxiety or the other has constant depression. Or they never do anything together they both enjoy. They could meet each other in a phase and fall in love, but they can never be happy together.
Load More Replies...Just because you love them doesn't mean you have to live with them. We can love the most toxic people for our lives. Dont. Love them from afar. Its ok to say goodbye, I love you but you are bad for my life and walk away.
I trust that this is true based on the experiences of so many others who have commented. I think the opposite is also true. In my case, other things in a relationship may be perfect, but without love even the most perfect on paper relationships can't work.
Very few people in life will ever give a s**t about you.
The people that were supposed to love me the most treated me like s**t. Love isn't always where you'd expect it to be.
I agree, Loverboy, I found it in the most unexpected places. Hope you have too.
Load More Replies...Sometimes, maybe we get lucky, and have a caring family that raises us as children? I do not speak from experience here, just blind hope for others.
I have a very caring family, and it’s kind of a big one! I don’t know if you wanted or needed to hear this, but your blind hope does pay off for me. I hope things are going good for you and that you have people to turn to who care about you! They don’t have to be blood-related.
Load More Replies...Learn to see people in your life as they really are not as you wish them to be or as you want to see them. Stop expecting you from other people.
I can name two at 50 years old. Mom and my aunt (her sister). It's all good. I got 50+ more years to get more.
I knew this in my teens. Why is this so hard to deal with? It's not all doom and gloom. Means you don't have to give a s**t either!
That a few dozen people can destroy us all because they don't like each other.
I think it will only take much less than that, just the ones with their finger on the nuclear button
Thankfully, the ones that actually have the responsibility of launching the damn things seem to be a lot more rational than their idiot overlords. We have already beem saved more than once because of this.
Load More Replies...Not entirely true. They are just mad cuz you busted with their friend instead of them. What you want me to do? HE cums when HE cums. Nothing personal.
True, but commitments, treaties, shared interests, money, and hopefully, please Lord, common sense will keep us going.
Greed is the underlying cause of a lot of the world's suffering as it allows people to justify doing horrible things
"I'm paying for this..." Whenever I hear this, I think of manipulation and exploitation. Doesn't matter the context. When people say s**t like that all consideration for the human aspect has gone out the window.
Also: "Then what am I paying for?"....when they don't get their way.
Load More Replies...Sure. Not just greed. Also irrational hatred. If by "greed" you mean to include any sort of selfish behavior, yeah, that covers a lot.
Correction: Capitalism is the underlying cause of ALL of the world's suffering. Greed is just a tool that capitalism promotes and encourages.
Greed has existed for millennia. Capitalism (which is not just about rich vs poor) as a system has only been around for a few hundred years at most.
Load More Replies...Politicians and beaurocrats are killing this country and sucking the life out of citizens.
I sometimes think why all these billionaires are billionaires. Why not DO something un-selfish and un-greedy with all that money? I don't understand.
The biggest pieces of s**t will usually get away with it.
Life is unfair. Good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people.
Bad things happen to bad people, and they still get away with it.
Load More Replies...Usually it's only the rich and powerful pieces of s**t that avoid accountability
Anyone who lived through the Trump years knows this all too well, unfortunately
Ah, but fate still has a surprise for them, in the form of a long overdue comeuppance. Unfortunately, the people who wanted to see it happen the most are generally long gone before the a*****e gets it. The rest of us who have grown old too, but are still rocking and rolling, get to derive some good entertainment from it, though.
perhaps if we had the courage to stand up and speak up. with out violence. it might help.
Pair this with number ten, cause while you're doing everything, right... The POS's are the one succeeding.
Unless I win the lottery, I have no chance of retirement. When im too old to work, I'll have to choose between homelessness or a dignified exit
oh yeah, I let those dreams die a long time ago. If it happens, then cool. but I'm not getting my hopes up. Yay America :)
What really sucks about this if you happen to be RC. The "dignified" exit is a major no no for a Catholic. Do you check out early to avoid what is making your life miserable, or do you deal with with dwindling options for help or assistance and rely on faith. I have a DNR issued by the VA. There are certain places you are supposed to display this so your wishes are respected by responding EMT 's. Because I'm a disabled veteran and live in my vehicle, I have no location to "display" it. One of those cases where you are damned if you do, and damned if you dont. Quite literally in this case.
Load More Replies...Some days I find myself sincerely hoping for the end of civilization as we know it!
Load More Replies...People of my age (mid 50s) are constantly being told that we haven't saved enough for retirement, that we will have to pay for our own care our of our savings and that there isn't anywhere near enough. At the same time we are being attacked by a younger generation for being 'selfish' by holding on to our money. Either we put it away in pensions and hope like heck that it's enough, or the younger generations will have to pay for us directly out of their own pockets in the future. The real enemy is above us laughing as they accumulate vast riches and watch us fight over the scraps like idiots. Let's just stop attacking other generations for having to deal with their own challenges and problems and all work together to pull down the curtain and see how Oz the Great and Powerful has been fooling us all.
This doesn't imply that life can't be good, just that this person doesn't have the resources to continue once they're physically unable to provide for themselves. I think about this all the time.
Load More Replies...Yep. As my two teenage sons begin high school this fall I've tried to get them to realize that the choices they make in these next few crucial years will impact this very scenario. I'm a single father that had made many mistakes and have only worked physical labor jobs and very much "live to work" not "work to live." I want so much more for them.
I agree. I will never have money to retire and was not able to have children. I will be in the same boat, but I've already decided on a dignified exit. With the crushing student loan debt and what healthcare costs in the US, for me it is a reasonable decision. I keep voting and trying to convince other people in my reach to start voting for their interests, but I've been doing this for years. We need a massive overhaul of the US government - revise the tax code so the rich pay their fair share of taxes, get rid of the electoral college, term limits, campaign financing reform, get a handle on runaway capitalism. Its a lot to do and major changes are slow.
The pandemic wiped out my savings. My body can no longer work like I used to. For the first time in my life....I will lose everything. Kind of hope to have a massive coronary or cancer that just takes me away. Can't afford to go through treatments....just let me die. (I haven't reached 60 yet)
Same here... I don't see retirement in my future either. it's disappointing because my folks retired and really enjoyed themselves, even without much money. But us? Nope, all the money goes elsewhere and nothing ever gets paid off.
Could always commit a capital crime. Room and board plus medical, all provided free
I really can't buy my old dog much more time. She's still happy and doing dog stuff, but she's losing weight and having a hard time getting around. I talked to a mobile vet about end of life planning for her but I really don't want to accept it. I love my doggo.
I am so very sorry and I wish you strength and peace. Doggos are truly the best.
My family was never close. I got more support from my service dog. When he died, I became suicidal. It was my current dog who saved my life. She's almost 14 and in poor health. I don't know what I'm going to do when she dies.
Load More Replies...I'm so sorry. I just went through that agony with my sidekick of 13 years Finster who died in March of congestive heart failure. I'll say what my vet said, monitor symptoms, keep up medications and if he appears distressed or lethargic bring him in. I made arrangements for euthanasia at the dog beach for when the time came. Finster was frisky as ever the night before he died. But I knew time was short. I cooked him chicken and rice. The next morning for the first time he was struggling. I tried to pick him up but as usual he refused and walked to the car on his own. I rushed to the vet a block away but he was gone before I pulled into the lot. The heartbreak was unimaginable, but I know he didn't suffer. HE squeezed out every minute, gave it his all and slipped away. no pain, no sound. In my lap, in the car, where he loved to be. and I was grateful for every second. I guess what I'm trying to say is Nothing will make it hurt less, but ensuring they go in peace gives some peace.
Many years ago a pregnant stray cat showed up on my doorstep. I named her Ragamuffin - being long-hair she was rather scruffy - and took her in. She had five kittens, all of which found good forever homes. I had Ragamuffin fixed, and she was my companion for 17 wonderful years before passing peacefully in her sleep. I will always miss her.
Load More Replies...Let her go. It's the most humane thing to do. My mom had recently put her ailing her horse down because she couldn't see him surviving another winter. Might not have lived to see fall, anyways. He lived a good, happy life. It was hard on my mom but it would have been harder seeing her horse suffer and that guilt would have stuck with her for the rest of her life.
When I went to the barn the day after my mare died - never in any pain - I came into the barn to find the manager standing by a stall. She looked at me and said, I wish I had more owners like you. This horse is sick and in pain and needs to be put down, but his owners "cant bear" to lose him. It broke my heart to lose my mare, but it was her time. Selfish owners.
Load More Replies...Letting her go when life is too painful is a great way to show your love. It means that you are selfless and caring, no matter how much it hurts you. Dogs' lives are far too short!
My lab is 14 and I don't know how I'm going to make it without him. He's been there since I was a child and has helped me through all of my struggles. I don't think I'm in a place where I can lose him, but I know his time is soon. I really wish dogs lived so much longer.
When the end comes, be with him, comfort him and give him all your love. After they, give yourself time to heal, and when you are ready give another dog the opportunity to live a wonderful life. Nothing will replace this dog, but you will find another good soul to give you more strength and love.
Load More Replies...When my chihuahua died I couldn’t bear it, she was one of my only friends, and when my cats and dog die I’ll have to go through it all over again
But you shared years of happiness and you gave them a beautiful life. Losing a dog/cat is sad, but it's the price we have to pay to enjoy their love and loyalty. When the time comes, set them free.
Load More Replies...In the end you will know when it's right. Our loved pets unlike humans with medical care, don't have to go through it all, we can set them free before the extreme end of life symptoms occur. The fact that you are talking with the vet about it is actually beautiful. Whether you can face it or not now, at the time you will because you are preparing. I'm so very sorry for your situation 💔❤️
We lost our beloved Husky fur baby Katy in December. We chose to have the vet come to the house so as a family we could love on her and be next to her right to the end. It was one of the best decisions I made, which was that it was so peaceful and private. We were able to comfort Katy in her favorite spot outside (she loved to sun bathe). The vet was compassionate and patient. I miss Kate, but I am glad she's not suffering 😔
Before we decided to put our horse down someone asked me, "Can you buy her (quality) time or just time?" This has stuck to me ever since and helped me through many decisions that had to be made for my animals. My horse had more and more trouble walking, getting up, standing on three legs for the ferrier. No medication did the trick. It was just time, not quality time.
Exactly. Quality of life, not quantity, that matters.
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Life is unfair sometimes for no reason
That's because it's all up to chance. There's no big guy in the sky controlling anything. We are all just a bunch of silly evolved apes on a tiny planet in a galaxy of hundreds of billions of other tiny planets.
Life is neither fair or unfair. It has nothing to do with fairness, any more than multiplication or marmalade do.
"The moral of this story is that no matter how much we try, no matter how much we want it ... some stories just don't have a happy ending." - Jodi Picoult
And now that we have the internet/computers, you don't even have to go out of the house to "find" the unfairness.
Fairiness, justice or perfection are some of the concepts invented by people, they do not really exist, and when they occur it is purely by chance. Do not expect them as a consequence of any of your actions and you will not be disappointed.
Sometimes you’re the annoying person everyone hates
Same, but so do the hostages in the basement of the barn 3 houses over
Load More Replies...Hopefully you’re self-aware enough to realize it and mend your ways.
Depends upon the context. I have been called annoying for pointing out someone's sexist remarks.
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The justice system in the US is absolutely f****d and nobody is looking out for you. If a cop, judge, DA, anyone decides they wanna f**k up your entire life, they can and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Well, you could be born rich, that's something. /sarc, because it's needed these days.
I think there are times when even that doesn't help
Load More Replies...A very big misconception. The justice system isn't to protect the innocent. It's to maintain social order. If an innocent has to go to prison, to make sure "someone" pays for a crime, it will happily do so. Our jails are filled with people who thought that innocence would protect them.
It's the other way around here in Austria. So many criminals get away with a small penalty or none at all.
In the US, many are getting away with robberies, assaults, etc. because of liberal district attorneys. It's just getting worse.
Load More Replies...Just because things don't go your way doesn't mean "they" are out to get you. Sometimes the lesson you need to learn is to not let the anger control your feelings and actions nor to play the victim when you should take responsibility and just do better.
You’re never going to be good enough for some people.
On a related note; they’re not worth wasting time or energy on.
I know this, but it still sucks when it's someone you really wish would be proud of you, such as a parent. But still, in the end it just hurts more to keep trying to get the validation they aren't willing to give.
Excuse you are waaaaay too good for them. Way out of their league. So pass those losers by, with your ears and eyes closed to their b******t, and find people who will encourage and uplift you, and love and appreciate you for yourself, instead..
Failing to meet certain people's standards can be an achievement to brag loudly about.
Its not that you aren't good enough its more about recognizing who they truly are. Once again..don't expect people to be like you even if they appear to be similar. You never waste time and energy if that's who you are. Just be you, good enough for yourself. Don't try to fill someone else's quota of good. Fill your own quota. Then that's enough.
Don't live for other people, live for yourself.
Load More Replies...Some people will only use you to get ahead then throw aside like trash. Eventually, those people will pay the f*****g piper in one way or another
Or think of it (with humility, not arrogance) that maybe you're too good for them and realize that those friends were toxic, and it's best to let them go.
It doesn't matter how much you do for someone, they can and will walk out of your life. Let them
This f*cking terrifies me. One of my biggest fears in life is people just leaving because they can. And people have done it before. This keeps me up at night and makes me question every relationship. I know it's true but it hurts so much to be abandoned by someone you care about.
When people leave it's not necessarily the same as abandonment. Great friends from school might have to leave because their college or job is in another city. That doesn't mean they don't love you anymore. Please don't treat them like they're abandoning you...
Load More Replies...Been ghosted by the same person 4 different times now. I think I've finally learned my lesson. But I believe in the good of people first.
If they've done that to you four times, they aren't a good person. Sometimes you have to say I've tried enough. Find someone who deserves your care.
Load More Replies...Everyone will use you for their best interests, and then move on. Some will show gratitude for what you have done for them. Most will not. You can and will be Taken for Granted!
This is sort of my general philosophy. I as a person am pretty temporary, you think I'm cool and funny for a year max and then get tired and leave. I'll never really mean anything to anyone. I have a friend who's still in denial about this and yells at me whenever I bring it up, but he's not going to be an exception. I'm not the type of person people stick around with
Only the ones you don't need in life anyway. Everyone else will still be there long after their bodies have quit
The only way a person is truly out of your life is if you forget them completely. And even then, they may have left a legacy you are unaware of.
That my family did in fact hurt me and it wasn't my fault.
After more than 40 years my brain still refuses to believe my abusive childhood wasn't my fault. I finally told my father in January what happened because he was never around and all he said was I'm 50 and that had all happened many years ago and I should be over it by now. With 30 years of therapy I'm still having trauma, cptsd and depression. I don't think I'll ever get over it. Haven't spoken to my father since he said that.
Load More Replies...For the record.... Sharing genetic material doesn't make family..... Family won't hurt you like that
Family knows just where to stick the knife, and they turn the situation on you so it looks like you are creating the drama. Usually it's the favorite.
Yea but what if it was the whole family.
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Gettin older, rusty, no longer able to do things i could when i was younger due to aging
It's always harsh. I lost being able to do a lot of things from illness. Life can be so cruel 😔
I wish I could do the things I loved. Genetic diabetes has made it to where I can't even go on a simple walk. I'm 34 and feel my life is over. I wish you the best and that you can find happiness still.
Load More Replies...The biggest mistake people make as they get older is to stop exercising. They get tired and sore, so they don't exercise and because they don't exercise, they get tired and sore. I learned this cyclical downturn, during the pandemic. Don't want to use a walker or a cane, stay active. You rarely see people from foreign countries here, get infirm, because they walk everyday.
Went from being the guy who every body depended on, to little more than a paperweight-- sucks, but its how it goes
I understand this feeling all too well. It's been 4 years of absolute hell. Spending every single day desperately trying to find the strength that has long since left you, just to make it to the end of it. Only to be tormented with struggling to deciding whether or not you can go to sleep, because it means that you have to do it again tomorrow. So many endless days and nights. The only conclusion that I've managed to come to is that I can't make anything better if I'm not here.
Load More Replies...Yes, it's happening. Worse than I thought it would be, but better than some.
Right? My brain tells me I'm still young and strong. My 60 year old body just laughs.
One of the worst things is not, not being able to do stuff you used to do. It's being able to do it, but you suck at it. Reaction times drop off, your strength and speed drops off and worse injuries stack up and general wear sets in. Even if you try to maintain an exercise routine it still happens. So things that used to be easy and fun are still doable but they're progressively more difficult and painful.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to feel bad about. It's just a part of life. I often say that old age takes with one hand and gives with the other. It's so easy to see what old age takes from me: my health, my energy, my hair, my eyesight. I don't look so good, or feel so good, or think so good anymore. But I wouldn't trade 50 for 15 for anything. I don't regret the mistakes I made or who I was at 15 anymore, but I'd much rather live now and be who I am now. At 50, I'm closer to happiness and contentment than at any other time in my life.
I spent my 20’s on a person who didn’t deserve me. I hate that I can’t get those young years back. Red flags are so fukn real. I’m so mad at myself.
All red flags just look like flags when you’re wearing rose coloured glasses. Not your fault, I have experienced the same thing and you are a stronger person ❤️ I hope you are ok
That's the result of 'love conquers all' and 'efford can make it work' magical thinking. Some relationships are just not meant to be. And sometimes you need to love yourself and let things go. That's a hard lesson because half the world still screams at you that if you 'give up' you've failed. That's why it's important to accept that no, love can't conquer all and sometimes it just doesn't work out without anyone being at fault
As long as you stay mad at yourself, more time is lost. Someone once told me " forgive yourself then you can truly move on". I didn't understand what that meant. I wasted more time being angry at myself for all I had given, everything that was taken. Mad as hell the time was gone. Holding 9nto what I could not get back was essentially me still living in the past. When you hurt or anger someone you love , you apologize and ask can you forgive me?. Love yourself, apologize to that 20s you and allow yourself to forgive you. May sound silly but stand in front of a mirror and say it out loud" I'm sorry I ________( whatever it is you did or didn't) forgive me for _______" I felt such a heaviness lifted when I forgave myself. Most of the time we think we are mad because this OP f.,... d up our life. Actually we are mad at ourselves for ALLOWING it to happen. That's where forgiveness is needed.
don't be mad @ yourself .. be proud of your growth that allowed you to get out of a relationship that wasn't benefitting you
It's over and you survived. Pat yourself on the back: you've learned something. These Bach Flower Remedies help. What is the flower essence for learning from mistakes? If someone has a tendency to repeat the same mistakes, Chestnut Bud will help him or her learn from past mistakes. If they were traumatized by a bad situation, Star of Bethlehem will help them get past their previous hardship. What is the Bach flower for forgetting past? Honeysuckle Bach Flower Remedy: Descriptive Materia Medica. "This is the remedy to remove from the mind the regrets and sorrows of the past, to break all influence, all wishes, all desires of the past and to bring us back into the present." - Edward Bach.
Fear of this was actually the motivation I needed to break up with my ex. I still vividly remember where I was and what I was doing when I suddenly thought to myself, "If I stay with him, I'll regret wasting my 20s on him for the rest of my life." I should have left that relationship long before that - or, ideally, never even gotten into it. But I'm at least glad I didn't actually wind up wasting all of my 20s on him.
You can't save someone from themselves. People trapped in self-destructive cycles like toxic relationships, substance abuse and criminality are drowning. They will drag you down with them if they can.
Until they are willing to admit that they have a problem, there is precious little you can do.
I am thought of as the "mother of the group", when someone has a problem i want to do everything in my power to save them. But I can't. Because they don't want to be saved, yet i feel responsible. You are your own person with your own emotions, they need to figure it out for themselves.
To be able to help you have to stop wanting to help. Your will is perceived as pressure by the other one. There is a huge difference between offering help and trying to rescue somebody. And often enough the best help is to just have a good time with the other person, because that good time might gives them the strength to figure it out by their own. But if you try to save them you might be too fast for them, so they hit the brake and you run in a wall.
Load More Replies...We have a renter in eviction. We worked to get this guy and his 6 yo in the house and off the street pronto. He brought his old life to his new life and set up a trap house. It's amusing he doesn't think he's out of there . POINT BEING don't be surprised when you drag your c**p lives into your new life and your new life turns to c**p
True, my dad is a longtime addict. Drug of choice isn't too potent to have an immediate ramification but over 20 years you can see th toll it took. Recently dealing with divorce after my step-mom had enough and just barely saved his home from a bad investment from people who took advantage of his poor decision making. too depressed to take his meds unless we nag him incessantly, sleeps all day. Drags everyone down with him. He is a good person in a twisted way I know but he drags down anyone who's been trying to help for years now
I can admit that I have a problem, but I can't fix it. I'm trying my best but at this point I think it's not a thing that can be fixed (depression/anxiety/whatever else is up with my brain combining to make me fairly suicidal)
If you convince someone that they have a problem, then you are indeed saving them from themselves.
Your dreams and ambitions mean nothing without execution.
You could attend one of the schools in my country
Load More Replies...So you can't just wish or pray them into existence. That's where I've been going wrong.
Well, yeah. What do you expect? DO you think you can just fantasize about being rich and famous and loved and admired and it will just magically happen? Few things worthwhile in life come without hard work.
Like a good third of adults are still essentially children in grown up bodies.
I don't know, I can be a pretty adulty adult lol
Load More Replies...If you lose your child like essence then you’ve basically lost everything, if nothing is fun or exciting or joyful anymore then there is no more to live for
At least, that’s about the percentage of adults who never become emotionally mature and never develop critical thinking skills—-and it just feels like that percentage is increasing, which is the diametric opposite of the way I thought we’d be in the 21st f*****g Century!
As an old fat I can tell you, the number is closer to nine tenths.
My body may be worn out and full of ugly surprises, but my brain is still shocked when I look in the mirror, or when I can't do the things I've always done in the past. I will always giggle at stupid jokes, and talk to the pets before the people.
It's OK to be lonely. But if you are lonely and act like it, it can be one of the most potent social repellents.
Im a hermit in many ways. I love to watch people be people but I prefer to be alone. Just me and my critters. I don't feel lonely. Its my superpower. However, others, who can't be alone without feeling lonely get scared at the idea of how I live. They may never understand until they let go of feeling lonely in a crowd.
I am almost positive that you must have at least one friend.
Load More Replies...There’s a big difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone can be a choice, especially if you tend to be somewhat of a loner or an introvert, or if you just want to be left alone temporarily, as a kind of down time, while you settle your thoughts and emotions and start relaxing without the noise and commotion of other people. Being lonely, on the other hand, can be the signal that choosing to be alone has come to an end and you need to get back out in the world, or someone (singular or plural) has walked out, died, or left your life in some way without notice or mutual consent. Lonely feels forced on you unwillingly. You’re not in control of it. Being alone isn’t forced, doesn’t happen without you deciding to be alone, and you are in full control of it, its beginning and end, its daily routine, who and how you decide to commune and communicate with others, if at all. For some, lockdown felt forced on them and was incredibly lonely, for others it was a great excuse for wanting to be completely alone, even if the only other living breathing creature(s) with you in your home had four legs and fur.
So very true. Desperation stinks like really bad gas. Floating like a invisible cloud. I'm the one who is always questioning weather someone really likes me or are they just being tolerant until they could get away from you.
My 20s were wasted because I am too scared of making my family disappointed/angry with me. I did what they wanted but now I'm unhappy with my life.
I'm so sorry to hear this 😒 I hope you are able to get the things you wanted at a further opportunity. Careers can change when kids are a bit older. One of my friends retrained as a nurse at 40, another has gone for a career chsnge at 50. I returned to education. I had to do what my father wanted. Now I don't. When he died I Changed my name by Deed Poll. I regret what I lost but I took back some of it later, and it's my things for me. I hope whatever your problems and difficulties are, that you get to get what makes you happy back ❤️
This gives me some hope that maybe I can still find happiness. Thank you.
Load More Replies...Well, you still have a lot of life to live, so try living it for yourself from now on.
Most of my 20's were spent being wasted. I got smarter toward the end of them.
I can relate, I wasted my late teens/early 20s in a toxic friendship. She isolated me from friends, always had to know where I was and demanded that I cut off my family. Every time that I tried to break free, she would convince people that I was bullying her. I would have strangers yelling at me and threatening me, as she smirked behind them.They would try to convince me to apologise to her, so we could be 'friends' again. I wish that I had never met her. It has 20 years to work through mentally, what she had done to me.
So it is time to stop. Put yourself first for a change. Life is too short to be miserable.
You only get one life and this is it. Right now. The one you're currently living. Good, Bad, Or downright sucky, this is the only life you're gonna get
I demand a restart, so I won't make the same mistakes I did in my 20s
Yeah, a do over. Only let me go back with all the knowledge I have now. I certainly WOULD make better decisions, believe you me!
Load More Replies...The only thing that keeps me sane is the possibility of reincarnation
The OP obviously does not believe in reincarnation. But maybe he did in a previous life.
well you could change how you think and that will change your life. but that's your call..
choose to live! I did and that's when a lot of my fear of life fell away
People don’t love you the same way you love them.
of course not. they are not you. they love you their way and you love your way. it's all love..
This is usually my thing, I'm way more affectionate than my friends are and it sometimes gets a bit painful bc they're not making much of an effort and I have to let them go even if we have a ton of fun together. I think that I may have found someone who loves me as much as I love him, but there's a good chance he'll leave fairly soon, that's kind of how it always is
I fell asleep on my boyfriends couch. Just woke up, freezing. I thought putting a blanket on a person you love was just what you did. I found a beach towel. Hurts, though. And I have a lot if thinking to do.
I don't think is just the blanket, there must be some underlying issue(s) there if it hurts so much. If it's just the blanket there can be other explanations, not everyone has the same expectations and the same ways. Maybe bf wasn't nurtured that way and what for you is a minimum expectation never crossed his mind because is something no one made for him, he wasn't cold himself, he fell asleep before realising the situation.
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Friendships are like plants that have to be watered in order to stay alive. Sometimes we forget to water the plant or choose not to :(
This implies that if you do all the work, you'll get a friend. They have to reciprocate too
"A true friend is one you can call up 15 years without contact and start up a conversation like you spoke yesterday" idk who said this, but just cuz you want their attention now and don't have it doesn't mean they aren't your friend. Life is hard for all of us. Also don't let someone call you 15 years later asking for a bunch of stuff, that's not a true friend.
Even if you water the friendship sometimes that the plant still dies.
Friendships come and go. Its not watering they need but time. I rarely hear from my best of friends, and yes I have very few. We don't need many friends to survive life. Less then a handful of really good friends will do. Love endures the test of time
Love can destroy your life just as much as it can brighten your life. You can go from waking up to the love of your life to waking up to the despair that they’re gone.
The risk, and possible pain is usually worth it. Don't be afraid to love, it leads to a lonely and bitter life.
But with any particular person, remember the law of diminishing returns.
Load More Replies...Or the despair that they’re still there. Sometimes it’s best to throw in the towel and leave. But do it fairly of at all possible, instead of blindsiding the other person——unless there’s a real possibility you won’t come out of that fair act on your part alive. In that case, just gather all your friends and family together to help you ghost that abusive m**********r. Put as many people around you as you can, do not ever meet them by yourself.
Unfortunately, that's what death does. I'm following my partner in death, don't care
do you not know, that we create everything that happens in our lives by what we think.. don't like it... change it, change how you thing about that you want. make it up, your mind won't know. you control what you think it's the only think in life that we can control. focus on what you want to experience. take small steps. EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE>>> just try .. baby steps..life will be as good as you make it for you...
one month shy of 40 years, and he left this world 5 years ago.....
Or.. you can wake up and realize they're horrible, and you hate them and wish they were gone.
Since my brother died, no matter what happiness comes in my life, there will always be a hint of sadness that he’s not here to share it with.
Boom
It was Christmas a few years after my mom died. A friend took me to see "torch song trilogy". There was a scene near the end where the recently widowed mother comforts her newly widowed son. You may appreciate too. ..."Give yourself time, Arnold. It gets better... But, Arnold, it never goes away. You can work longer hours, adopt a son, fight with me, whatever... it'll still be there. But that's all right, it becomes a part of you, like learning to wear a ring or a pair of eyeglasses. You get used to it. And that's good. It's good, because it makes sure you don't forget. You don't want to forget him, do you?”
same with my grandma. no ice cream at 2 in the morning. no apple pies baking with my cousins and her. no card games waiting fir the apple pies and brownies. no more sitting in the parking lot and eating mcdonalds. i miss you my meama 🥺😭🕊❤️
Lost my son 4 months ago, 22. I have 5 children and watching them greive is heart wrenching. We just celebrated his birthday, and it was a lot of tears and happiness. I watch my youngest (15) not allow herself to feel joy or happiness because she's hurting.
i am so sorry you have to watch your children go through that. thats another level of pain for a mother. theres an open wound on you right now, but it will heal. itll just leave behind a scar
Load More Replies...This reality hit me at 19 when my father died. No matter how many wonderful things have happened to me in the nearly 40 years since, the level of joy is always tempered by the sadness of that, and subsequent losses (my mother, my older brother, and three of my best friends). Not having them to share it with casts a pall.
It's been a year since i lost my mother we were really close, she was a stay at home mum, did over her possible to raise me and my brother really good as her oldest son, we had a special bond, she was my mother and my best friend, i was always a loner by choice, so with her passing away it left a hole in me, we have a saying here in Morocco: a family visited by death is never the same again.. that missing person with whom you can't share your happiness..
When people you love die, it’s like there’s an empty space where they used to be. I’m 62, and came to the realization long ago—-when I found out about the first person I went to high school and was friends with who died (cancer, they were also close to me in the roll call for my class, so we sat just a couple chairs apart at graduation) that the older you get, the more people you lose, and the more empty spaces you end up with. You just have to keep living, because those people would not want you to jump in the grave with them. They would want you to go on having your life, meeting new people and making new friends, doing stuff you like, and even falling in love again. Living your life to its fullest, nd making it a good life is the best tribute you can make for the people you have lost.
actually if you pay attention you will find he is right there with you enjoying things with you.. talk to him like you always did and listen, you'll hear him laugh and talk back to you. only his physicality is gone. nothing else.. listen,
Me too, me too. It's been almost a year and at first I didn't know how I could get through even one day. I miss my best friend.
I'll most likely never own a house.
I don't know if I want to own a house, and I believe that is okay. It's okay to rent. No shame in that.
The cost of rent is getting to be unaffordable. I’m worried we’ll go from “it’s ok to rent” to “it’s ok to live in your car” and while I’m hopeful it can be prevented, I still worry.
Load More Replies...Houses pictured are on Steiner St. in San Fran. (I think). Called the 7 painted ladies although not all 7 are shown here
never say never... have you thought of a different sort of house? use your imagination...
We (60s) bought our first house last year. The rental market in Springfield, OR is so broken it was actually cheaper to buy one.
Certaintly not one that looks like the road the Charmed House was on.
I have a theory that anything, taken to its furthest extreme, inevitably creates its opposite. The current housing market, and the strategies of the financial institutions that are manipulating the housing market in the hopes of profit, are unsustainable. Ditto education costs and healthcare. We're reaching a point where things MUST change.
That I lost about 10 years to Depression and I will never get that time back.
Losing years to it currently. Things change though, constantly. Hopefully for the better
bro stop downvoting them, theyre stating whats happening to them.
Load More Replies...I understand ❤️ but those years made me stronger.. because I have faced the darkest darkness and I have come back, and so can all of you pandas!!!
no but you will have had the experience. and don't want to go back.... then again because you know what it's like you can help some one else ...
Took almost 30 years to be in remission from bipolar disorder. I’m 72 years old and thrilled.
A lot of people working through that .....don't be ashamed to ask for help.....
It took years for anyone to notice I literally check every box on the bipolar questionnaire, that I wasn't just depressed. I could drive myself insane thinking about all the times I know I would have acted differently if someone noticed I was bipolar and I got medicated sooner. Nothing to do but move forward
They're not lost. They've been invested into the path of development. Depression isn't 'a waste of time' any more than a natural disaster is. Calling it such is harmful to yourself. It's an illness. Just like a broken leg or more fitting, it's like asthma. It's just there and you'll need time to learn how to live with it. No matter how long it took, your life and well being is worth the fight. Calling it lost time is vile against yourself.
That I’m willing to settle for things rather than hurt anyone’s feelings.
I managed to get out of that but it took many decades and belief in myself. I hope you can too and considerably faster than I did. You need to put yourself first and they need to consider Your feelings too. I wish you success ❤️
There's nothing wrong with that for the most part. That's called being a kind, generous and selfless person. More of that is needed today and god bless your thoughtful, loving heart.
Only remember there is one person it is especially important to please. That is YOU.
Load More Replies...been there done that. you can't make others happy they are responsible for there thoughts and actions.. as you are responsible for your thoughts and actions.. find out what you want to accomplish in this life time. and be polite to others but be true to yourself. kindness is good. but giving away yourself to make someone else happy?. think about it, find a way . it's possible..
Doormats shout out!!! We know who we are and how we've been treated. The trick is to no longer be a doormat, and it's hard. People won't like that you've changed, but so what.
I will always have mental health problems considering I have a lifelong disorder that have been present since my first memories. However, there is still a chance I can survive through adulthood and live a decent life with them if things go right. I have been in therapy for many years and things are still shaky in regards to whether those two things will be possible, but without therapy I wouldn't be here to write this comment.
I feel you, my friend. 3 years with panic disorder and its buddies (agoraphobia, thalassophobia, claustrophobia etc.). Out of the blue. Literally glues you to your home, and doctors are very happy to get you hooked up from one benzo to the other. Life is a struggle and i am aware that things will never be the same but I am certain I will eventually manage to live a normal-ish life.
I have systemic lupus, and I also have ADHD and Autism. I have s****y days, and I have really good days. On s****y days I try to remember that I'll have really good days again. That, and taking care of my health, help me through tough times. I wish you the very best... X
Load More Replies...Feel this I'm my soul. I never intended to be alive past 19. People ask why I take medication, it's not just my benefit - it's also yours.
People are dreadful! Lots of people drink alcohol, a drug, on daily basis and nobody bats an eyelid. But the moment they know you are on psychiatric drugs they start judging you. Don't let them make you feel "wrong". You need whatever you are taking in the same way a diabetic needs insulin. There's nothing "morally" wrong with you. You deserve to feel better!
Load More Replies...For once I don't know what to say but I wanted to let you know that I hear you ❤️
I have bipolar disorder. I'm on the autism spectrum (along with OCD, hypersensitivity to light, sound and touch). I have chronic anxiety, especially social anxiety. It's HARD to have mental illness, and I know I will always be kind of broken. But I'm over 50 now, and it's softened a bit. Not a day goes by that I don't think "ultimate" thoughts. But life's not as bad as it used to seem.
I'm 68. I've survived with multiple psych disorders, present since childhood. Don't be afraid of meds! It might take some trial and error, but the right ones can really make a difference.
Christ I have MDD still suffering from pdd and extreme anxiety but perhaps I was raised differently?! I continually work through my tough circumstances, make goals/achieve goals, and don’t make excuses for my shortcomings. I’m the most introverted extrovert you will ever meet but dear god I hate going out. And I champion mental health care and all it’s rights but I think some providers are actually making it worse. You have to continually make small challenges to yourself while working towards a larger goal to make any headway in what is considered socially acceptable behavior. Start with very small goals and keep going. It’s so much more achievable than someone who suffers from severe social anxiety going out with friends to maybe at first texting to voice calls then maybe a quick coffee/tea date.
Almost 30 years to be in remission from bipolar disorder. I’m 72 years old and thrilled.
The impact the pandemic had on my kids' education is permanent. There's no fixing it.
Nope. Parents that stepped up did their kids a solid. They turned out just fine.
Not every patent had the knowledge or the ability to step up. Many people lost their jobs, savings and means of earning a living. They were too busy trying to survive. I worked for the Red Cross in the pandemic, I know what I'm talking about. Also, the impact of the pandemic and the lockdown on teens' mental health was terrible. Worldwide.
Load More Replies...WRONG! Nothing is permanent. Don't wallow in self pity. Go out and DO something. See "The tipping point" by Malcolm Gladwell. Michael Rosen's book is super: "Good ideas: how to be your child's (and your own) best teacher". ISBN 9781444796445
What you don't seem to understand is that not every parent has the ability, the energy or the resources. Single parents, parents with disabilities, parents who only have a basic education themselves because they couldn't stay at school for whatever reasons, extreme poverty, mental illnesses, kids who have special needs that require a specialist, learning disabilities, violence, etc, etc, etc... You are speaking from a privileged position, where the basic needs are covered and you have the knowledge to help your children learn. You have food in the fridge and money in the bank to pay for the electricity and the rent. If you don't have enough money to pay for the bills, or your next meal, do you really think you have the mental energy?
Load More Replies...Education or lack of education is never permanent. Its not an unfixable crack in life. Once you know its there it can be fixed with knowledge. With learning more. If you consider it a permanent thing then life cannot be changed. What is the purpose of learning anything? Life is learning.
I had a Geography teacher in the 80s who was always on strike for nearly the entirety. It severely affected that aspect of my education and I regret not learning even the basics because he wasn't there. At least today there's the Internet for fast information but you've got to Know what to look for. I cannot begin to imagine the damage, educational and psychological this inflicted on the children who went through it 😒
That doesn't mean there's nothing you can do about it. There's plenty you can do to educate your children, or to enhance their education. If you REALLY care and can manage it, try homeschooling.
Maybe you should have worked harder to keep them learning. My daughter jumped two grade levels during the pandemic. We were stuck at home, what else were we going to do? No movies, no shopping, no friends over - so I worked with my child in ways the school system in America never could even if they wanted to. I have been homeschooling her since because I don't ever want to send her back to a broken a*s educational system. I'm sick of people blaming the pandemic for their failures, shortcomings, etc.
For our family and the many other families of neurodiverse children, we were forced to seriously consider homeschool. We've replaced a broken and traumatizing educational system with flexibility, strong peer connection, and a truly individualized education. The sacrifice of losing my "before motherhood" career loses its sting as time marches on.
They 'just' have to learn different. Time makes us all face things different than to people before or after us. Nothing is ever the same and that is all in all good. I know several people over 30 who had a bad education or troubles in the younger years. They went to evening school, even studied . One learns a completely different job with over 40 years old. Of course it's more difficult but doable. And if parents notice there is a lack in the kids education, they can help by the time. And if you learn that stuff together, maybe through YouTube, your as parents and kids have bonding time as a bonus and the other bonus is that you parents also learn more. It's good for the brain too
A lot of s**t that used to go down in school sure came to the surface. I feel bad for the kids who's homes were no longer safe being exposed to bullies and mean kids, and teachers dictating what the whole household did in the background, and how the homes looked. Like, that's supposed to be a safe, private space.
Nothing in life, ever, is truly in your control. The only control you have is how you think and react to it.
I heard something once saying you can't control the river or where it leads, the one thing you can control is yourself. How will you react? How will your reactions lead to more reactions downstream?
No, that's not true. Just as an example, I can decide what I'll have for lunch today. That's a decision I fully control.
which is still only limited control. you can choose from options available and affordable to you, but you never have full control over it.
Load More Replies...Not completely true for every single thing but definitely for a lot of things. Circumstances from finance and health play a huge part in it for me.
There ARE things you can control- but lots you don’t and this is important for those things (eg. others’ behaviour and choices). But there is plenty you can control in your life!
Within my lifetime, I expect substantial civil unrest and possibly the collapse of human civilization due to global climate change or nuclear war (most likely one leading to the other). I'm 40.
I've got 20 years on you and I'm certain of it. With a civil war to kick off the festivities.
Younger people need to run for every conceivable elected position right now. I'll vote for you! Just promise you won't do what every old white man for the last 5000 years has done!!
The younger generation may see through the BS but they don't have the funds to get elected unfortunately. Those that have the money,have the power.
Load More Replies...As someone who went through the "duck and cover" drills in grade school, I can understand your fear. It's been around since 1941 and will likely never go away. You just have to make certain that the folks you vote for share a fear of mutual mass destruction and impress on people who have an IQ that's above room temperature the necessity of the same.
I think we'll just keep up the march of the smartphone zombies until the climate becomes completely unfixable. I'm 41, and hoping to age out before the environment and economy completely collapse. I don't think that the younger generations will have that luxuary, and I don't think there's anything I can do to make a difference in that, except to not have children.
We can write the program for computer to do miracles, but not the working system for us to live...
All of this hopelessness and gloom. When all of these problems could be solved in an instant with the stroke of a pen or the swing of an axe. All we need to do is to stop asking for Justice and insist.
Most of us, and among them myself, will be forgotten, your children will remember you, your grandchildren might aswell, your greatgrandchildren will maybe hear a story and see a picture of you, the generation after that might even still know your name, the one after that won’t, and outside of your family no one will know or remember your name, some researcher might stumble upon it one day, but even he/she won’t remember it. And it will be as if you had never existed
Yup, so might as well work to better society so that at least your generation will be remembered for generations to come!
And what? Besides, ages after you've forgotten, someone will look at the mirror with exact your eyes, same glare, having talent for something you didn't, but strive to have ;)
You can prevent this by doing war crimes!! Follow me for more life hacks
I'm the last of my family. When I die it'll get chucked in a skip or to the charity shop. That's what happened to my friends stuff. A neighbour rescued some family photos from the skip. I started writing our names on the backs of photos, I got through several hundred then realised..... There's Noone to have these, they're also going into the skip. That's really s**t 😔
Our names may be forgotten but we all do things within or communities that will have a lasting impact, even in a small subtle way that will be overlooked.
Load More Replies...The middle class is being eradicated, and we have already lost too much power to do anything about it. megacorps gonna megacorp.
Here's what we do about it: forget the BS that is "the middle and poor classes" and realize that it's always been just 2 classes: the owner/capitalist class and the working class. It's us the 99% working class vs the 1% capitalist class. Always has been and always will be UNLESS we raise up and take back our planet from the genocidal capitalists! ✊️✊🏾✊🏽✊🏿✊🏻
Sadly, that won't happen. They've brainwashed people into believing there are different categories they belong to, which must fight each other: middle class vs. lower class, lower class vs. white trash, black people vs. white people, natives vs. immigrants, women vs. men... Divide and conquer. And most people are stupid enough to buy that s**t.
Load More Replies...I blew college by picking a major I was interested in rather than one that made money and now I can never afford to fix that.
Thanks capitalism. So much for "breeding innovation". Just get a Masters in Business Administration and your set for life. Forget any kind of art, music, culture, or things that make us humans amazing! Just make the Line of the Profit Chart go up!
This is why I'm so hesitant on going to college or university. Anything that's harder to make money in is interesting to me. But anything I would seethe through, or have 0 ability in, makes money. C'est la vie.
Luckily for me, I compromised. Took my second choice, which made more money. Never regretted it.
Life Tip: If over-30 adults mention their "minors" in conversation, that is what to talk to them about. There is so much joy and passion to hear about usually. (Minor course of study in the US)
Not necessarily true. You never know how your career will change. Keep your eyes open for opportunities.
Wait,,, you'd rather have locked yourself into a life of disinterest for money????
Oh contraire, you simply need to find a creative way to monetize your interests. You have the education 😉
The overwhelming majority of people you meet only care about what you can provide or do for them and will have no problem with abandoning or upgrading from you once you can’t provide those things for them anymore. Very few people on this world will like you for you.
That's life. Accept it and move on. You can support animal charities worldwide that rescue abused and starving animals and nurture them with medicine and love. But be aware of bogus groups: https://www.peta.org/blog/tiggy-town-animal-rescue/ Forget the people who are toxic and align with the millions who do good in the world.
my bipolar disorder will be something i have to tackle forever.
I'm bi polar, spent 5 years in and out of psychiatric hospital, 20 years on I'm medicated, working, happy and a productive part of society. There is hope.
There is also a lack of diagnosis to deal with. You may have something for life, but it may take years to know what it is.
Thank you for understanding that. My ex is diagnosed bipolar and will be for the rest of his life because he's afraid of his own brain.
You really can’t trust anyone. Maybe immediate (close) family and your partner. But sometimes not even then.
Trust issues is the main reason I’m friendless, what if the people I think are my friends are actually liars and don’t care about me at all
That's the tail, wagging the dog. You just have to make the adjustment to make sure you trust the right ones, and don't give that trust easily. Everyone must EARN your trust and it takes as long as it takes. I believe in giving people enough rope, to hang themselves.
Load More Replies...I wish I could trust my immediate family. They're the reason I don't trust people generally.
So you don't trust your doctor? Or the driver of your bus or subway? That's sad.
Doctors in USA are horrible, no don't trust doctors here.
Load More Replies...The success of your future relationships is usually decided years before you get into them, by your current actions.
This action, particularly. Your comment and my response will cause tiny deviations from what could have been our lives that will eventually culminate into something big. 🤔 Sounds exciting!
Load More Replies...Whoever wrote this list, I hope someone talked them off the bridge, because this list is made by someone who just had a nasty breakup, or on serious depression. Life is just not that bleak. Love is awesome, friends are great, life is beautiful, get out and embrace the joy!
I dunno... it all is so very bleak at the moment. At least here in the US. Leadership that is only concerned with enriching themselves, allowing hate to flourish. Corporate ownership of the leaders, making everything too expensive. Complete disregard for the climate crises. It's about as bad as it can get. I fully expect armed rebellion after the next election cycle.
Load More Replies...Life sucks but to y'all feeling down after this, remember that puppies exist and are in the world right now, and you can look at videos of them or even foster some if you're financially capable
Puppies - yes, help if you can, BUT also remember cats who can be sneaky but adorable too.
Load More Replies...Oof. Anybody else off to search for kitten and puppy pictures now to cheer up?
You bet! Baraban-TV; Fluff Town; Buitengebieden; Geobeats animals; etc. Enjoy.
Load More Replies...Think about your most treasured possession be it your photos, some signed memorabilia or a collection of any kind.There's a good chance that when you die whatever it is will mean nothing to your heirs, who will get rid of it at the first opportunity, maybe even just trashing it.
That my husband will never cherish me or even be interested in what I'm thinking about or what I might want. That I have to tell him what to do for me. And even then he has to hide it it's an inconvenience. I didn't buy clothes or even underwear for years. I would love for him to even feign an interest in anything about me; much less to sparklingly ask me how I'm doing or what I've been taking out during the day, or even to say say hey where would you like to go on vacation this weekend... for him, I'm just a doormat or a piece of furniture. He bought me some jewelry because I kept complaining and pretty much made him but he couldn't care less about what I think or what I'm doing or what I might want to do or my Kohl's or whatever I want for us as a family doesn't care at all and this is a man who I've done so much for. i'm not sure I'm still here every day I have to jump off a bridge.
haha, not "my Kohl's," but "my goals," lol... I have a Quinn says they're more interested in what I think or what I'm interested in or what my goals are than my husband could ever be. I have to beg him for a complement of the beer him to buy food that I can eat it's really sad. Actually I'm not really sure why I'm still here except that we have a 17-year-old who is lovely and I'd like to make sure he does OK. He's the only person that my husband cares about. I keep waiting for him to care but he won't. He said he would tell his brother how is Buse of toward me but he won't do that either. I'm not really sure what to do. Please tell me to leave.
Load More Replies...And another: most of the people loudly lamenting that everyone around them is an idiot are themselves idiots. (Not directly aimed at you. Just in general.)
Load More Replies...You can do everything right, get bit by a tick in your prime and have a fever for 12 years straight and counting. End up losing your ability to work, parent your child or even hold your body upright. Your life is now your bed. A good day means you could take a shower. Meanwhile, the world keeps going, everyone goes on about their life, no one is freaked out that you're rotting away. Every extra cent is spent on trying to get well. No Drs are losing a wink of sleep.
Whoever wrote this list, I hope someone talked them off the bridge, because this list is made by someone who just had a nasty breakup, or on serious depression. Life is just not that bleak. Love is awesome, friends are great, life is beautiful, get out and embrace the joy!
I dunno... it all is so very bleak at the moment. At least here in the US. Leadership that is only concerned with enriching themselves, allowing hate to flourish. Corporate ownership of the leaders, making everything too expensive. Complete disregard for the climate crises. It's about as bad as it can get. I fully expect armed rebellion after the next election cycle.
Load More Replies...Life sucks but to y'all feeling down after this, remember that puppies exist and are in the world right now, and you can look at videos of them or even foster some if you're financially capable
Puppies - yes, help if you can, BUT also remember cats who can be sneaky but adorable too.
Load More Replies...Oof. Anybody else off to search for kitten and puppy pictures now to cheer up?
You bet! Baraban-TV; Fluff Town; Buitengebieden; Geobeats animals; etc. Enjoy.
Load More Replies...Think about your most treasured possession be it your photos, some signed memorabilia or a collection of any kind.There's a good chance that when you die whatever it is will mean nothing to your heirs, who will get rid of it at the first opportunity, maybe even just trashing it.
That my husband will never cherish me or even be interested in what I'm thinking about or what I might want. That I have to tell him what to do for me. And even then he has to hide it it's an inconvenience. I didn't buy clothes or even underwear for years. I would love for him to even feign an interest in anything about me; much less to sparklingly ask me how I'm doing or what I've been taking out during the day, or even to say say hey where would you like to go on vacation this weekend... for him, I'm just a doormat or a piece of furniture. He bought me some jewelry because I kept complaining and pretty much made him but he couldn't care less about what I think or what I'm doing or what I might want to do or my Kohl's or whatever I want for us as a family doesn't care at all and this is a man who I've done so much for. i'm not sure I'm still here every day I have to jump off a bridge.
haha, not "my Kohl's," but "my goals," lol... I have a Quinn says they're more interested in what I think or what I'm interested in or what my goals are than my husband could ever be. I have to beg him for a complement of the beer him to buy food that I can eat it's really sad. Actually I'm not really sure why I'm still here except that we have a 17-year-old who is lovely and I'd like to make sure he does OK. He's the only person that my husband cares about. I keep waiting for him to care but he won't. He said he would tell his brother how is Buse of toward me but he won't do that either. I'm not really sure what to do. Please tell me to leave.
Load More Replies...And another: most of the people loudly lamenting that everyone around them is an idiot are themselves idiots. (Not directly aimed at you. Just in general.)
Load More Replies...You can do everything right, get bit by a tick in your prime and have a fever for 12 years straight and counting. End up losing your ability to work, parent your child or even hold your body upright. Your life is now your bed. A good day means you could take a shower. Meanwhile, the world keeps going, everyone goes on about their life, no one is freaked out that you're rotting away. Every extra cent is spent on trying to get well. No Drs are losing a wink of sleep.
