30 Unpleasant Things Very Smart People Have To Live With, As Shared By Folks In This Online Group
A lot of us are on a constant journey to improve our minds. We read books, watch films, study and otherwise educate and better ourselves so that we can become more intelligent in various ways. However, some people are just born smart and talented in some ways, requiring less effort to achieve certain things that others might struggle with. Contrary to what some might believe, being smart is not always a blessing.
Someone created a thread on the r/AskReddit subreddit, asking about the hardships smart people have to live with, exactly because of their high intelligence, and folks delivered plenty of observations, most of which are quite heavy. Scroll down to see the whole list of things people online shared and consider upvoting the entries you relate to the most, as well as leaving a comment.
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Being smart enough to know you're right while dealing with people too stupid to know they're wrong is soul crushing.
There are different types of intelligence. Being good at physics doesn't mean that you should manage people.
So very true. You need emotional intelligence and ability to put yourself in others shoes to know how to motivate and support. Know this from being under terrible bosses, wonderful bosses and being a lead myself.
They are full of doubt compared to people who are not smart
Our school system (Australia) isn't built to deal with them. It crushes bright kids down to everyone else's level.
The usual solution is just to give them extra work to do on top of the assigned work, when they finish that too fast. But to a kid, that's a punishment. In this way achieving beyond a certain accepted parameter is quietly discouraged.
Sad_But_Realistic said:
Expectations...
Sownd_Rum replied:
This is the killer. If you are "gifted", having an average life is seen as a failure.
The secret is to not let on that you're gifted. Play it off as a fluke, or fake a counterpoint weakness that makes it seem less impressive. The metagame of life is far deeper than most of us realize.
Common sense is not a gift, it is a punishment. Because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.
They have no effect on dumb people's opinions
YourFatherHere1 said:
Intelligence doesn’t always mean wisdom.
Therandomfox replied:
Intelligence is knowing how to bring back dinosaurs from the dead.
Wisdom is knowing that that's a bad idea.
Intelligence means knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing that you don't use it in a fruit salad.
They are often miserable, and able to thoroughly understand their misery and failures.
All the “smart kids” that turned into smart adults are severely burnt out and need a break for everything
Hard to find other people who think and/or feel as deeply as you do.
Not being inherently competitive but able to be crushed instantly by failure.
It can be very lonely
Some structures in behaviour, relationships and communications are just annoying repeating circles and far too shallow Hard to blend in, Very often you feel just like an alien trying to adapt to the joy of lightweighted conversations Often seems to be some kind of arrogance but from this side of the fence its just pure deep sadness and loneliness- and the wish to be more like other people Not easy to be happy here in my mind
Expectations
Never learning to study until it is too late
Being forced to learn outside of your age related interests
Being terrified of failure
Not being able to balance ambition and said fear of failure
Once again, expectations. My mother put so much pressure on me at such a young age I couldn't handle it. I have done well for myself as an adult, but will never be able to live up to those expectations set by her and others. I should probably go back to therapy.
The sad truth is that being smart isn't even a particuarly good indicator in living a happy and fulfilling life. You could be extremely smart and intelectually capable, but if you got beat up as a kid, your parents died, you developed some personality disorder etc., you're way worse off than someone well adjusted with a below average intelligence
There's different levels of "smartness" and different smart people go about life in different ways. But, i think universally young prodigies are typically isolated. They are at a level far above children their age, but are far younger than the people that match intellectually with (lacking life experience). Either way, a young prodigy can't connect with either group.
Many very intelligent young people are poorly stimulated and challenged. Without the proper mental exercise they're unlikely to live up to their potential.
Even with it, we may choose not to live up to what *others* expect. Maybe we'd like to have fun, not just live according to our "potential"/"intellect", etc.
It's sad to see dumb people making a dumb decision in front of your eyes and not be able to do anything but only give them advice. Most helpful advice are a waste.
Most dumb people argue a lot instead of reflecting as well using critical thinking. So you will never win an arguement against a dump or bias person. So just walk away and tell them they are right.
They don't always find ways of living up to their potential.
"You can do better - you're smarter than this!" - "If I'm smarter, why don't you listen to me?" - "Don't be a smart-@ss!"
Mental illness rates are dramatically higher -_-
We waste them. Our entirely social structure from schools to mortgages are design for people with very average intellectually abilities. Smart people have to deal with the daily stress of living in a system that isn’t built for them and loose a lot of their productivity and take a real hit to their mental health as a result. If we stopped subjecting them to standardised systems designed against them just imagine how much further we would have advanced as a species.
EDIT: Just a small edit to clear up some confusion. I’m not advocating for redesigning our social structure to suit only the smartest x percent of our population. For those who aren’t familiar with inclusive design (mostly talked about when talking about designing digital systems but the principle is cross applicable) the basic idea is to design systems that provide room for different people to be able to use/fit into the system equally well despite their differences. There is absolutely no reason why we all have to live the same way or why we should be forcing people to live in a world that doesn’t have room for people like them.
Many are just suffering from the Dunning Kruger effect and don’t know it
We all do. In fact, brilliant people can be the worst about it. “I’m a Nobel Prize-winning physicist and a classically trained cellist…therefore I’m qualified to speak at length and with authority about literally everything else!”
smart does not automatically mean:
- ethical
- empathic
- conscientious
- realistic
- creative
- prosocial
A lot of the “smart kids” in high school are being forced by their parents to succeed. When they become adults they have all the academic skills but little life skills and they struggle to succeed.
Lots of people will be jealous of them and resent them, including family members.
I think truly smart people, those genuinely rare geniuses, are so smart that the rest of us can’t even comprehend it.
It must be a very strange feeling going through life knowing that most people just can’t see and understand the things you do.
Not a genius-level example. I once had to explain in a business meeting for around 90 minutes why we couldn't add an inch to only one side of a square and have it still be a square. I assume this is what smart people in smart professions have to deal with all too often.
Intelligent people can't state that they're intelligent because people view that as a sign of not being intelligent. But also if you lord yourself around for being intelligent, there's the implication that you're belittling everyone around you by saying you're better than them. And people don't like that. If other people recognize a person as intelligent and respect that then there are no problems, but a lot of the times people won't do that because it gets in the way of their own pride (and if they do, then I find they're more likely to have more insecurities/less self-esteem). Then there's also the fact that intelligence is often conflated with success. Basically, people suck at gauging other people's intelligence, and that causes problems.
Feel they cant have fun because they analyze everything
Like the fact that the previous post says loose not lose but if I point it out I’m a jerk but I can’t not see it and get annoyed when I’m just trying to read BP for fun?
Plenty of smart people will live their whole lives never realizing they're smart.
I hate finding instant solutions to problems, being ignored and then hearing the same solution a half year later from a team of highly paid 'experts'.
So true. Years ago, I told my old boss that we should have an Instagram account. He, who thought he was so much smarter than I am, gave me a list of all the reasons why that was a bad idea. Cue six months later and we're having a company meeting where he says we're going to start an Instagram account and he wants me to run it because I know it more than anyone else. Some social media expert told him it was a good idea. He didn't even acknowledge that I had already suggested it.
Load More Replies...Because it's a b******t thread created by miserable people who aren't as smart as they think they are. Smart people are less likely to have mental health problems and more likely to be happy and satisfied with their lives, not angst-ridden overachievers with imposter syndrome.
Load More Replies...I hate finding instant solutions to problems, being ignored and then hearing the same solution a half year later from a team of highly paid 'experts'.
So true. Years ago, I told my old boss that we should have an Instagram account. He, who thought he was so much smarter than I am, gave me a list of all the reasons why that was a bad idea. Cue six months later and we're having a company meeting where he says we're going to start an Instagram account and he wants me to run it because I know it more than anyone else. Some social media expert told him it was a good idea. He didn't even acknowledge that I had already suggested it.
Load More Replies...Because it's a b******t thread created by miserable people who aren't as smart as they think they are. Smart people are less likely to have mental health problems and more likely to be happy and satisfied with their lives, not angst-ridden overachievers with imposter syndrome.
Load More Replies...