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Adults Are Sharing Life Truths They Weren’t Prepared For And Here Are 30 Of Them
Interview With Expert
Roughly seven in ten Americans think young adults today have a harder time than their parents did when it comes to things like saving for the future (72%), paying for college (71%), and buying a home (70%), according to a survey by the Pew Research Center.
To get a better understanding of the possible struggles, Reddit user Raeraegoawayy asked everyone on the platform to share the "sad realities" of being a grown-up that they believe people entering adulthood should be aware of.
From comments about the daily grind to confessions about their relationships, continue scrolling to check out the replies, and don't miss the conversation we had with mental health thought leader and behavioral economics expert, Joyce Marter — you'll find it in between the entries.
This post may include affiliate links.
#2
The stupid s**t you do to your body adds up. Headphones at max volume? Enjoy your tinnitus. Being a goofball and head banging as hard as you can to Metallica in the 90s? Wake-up with neck pain. Showing off how much you can lift or carry and not lifting with your knees? Have fun with the back spasms after you move too quickly the wrong way.
Take it easy on your body.
To learn how to cultivate resilience in the face of modern challenges, we spoke with Joyce Marter, a licensed psychotherapist, successful entrepreneur, author, and avid advocate of mental health. With over two decades of experience helping individuals, government agencies, and Fortune 500 companies, Marter shared her insights on resilience-building techniques:
"Practice mindfulness strategies such as breath work, meditation, yoga, or unplugging from technology and connecting with nature," she told Bored Panda. "Mindfulness helps us detach from our egos (our minds) and connect with our essence (our spirit, soul, or authentic self), which helps us to drop the defensiveness and cultivate acceptance and resilience—the ability to move through challenges, bounce back and persevere."
"Healthy detachment is a mindfulness practice where we cultivate healthy separation from our emotions, the negative emotions of others, expectation and outcome so that we can respond consciously instead of reacting emotionally. Having a growth mindset fosters resilience because we view challenges as opportunities for growth and development."
#3
Being an adult is living with regrets.
It's not only ok to look back and wish you did things different, it's proof of growth.
#4
The advice of "Follow your passion" in careers only goes so far. If your passion happens to align with a lucrative career track, then you're golden. But if it requires a TON of work to get your passions to make money, then keep them as a hobby. Get a job that you can tolerate to pay the bills, and do what you love for free because you love doing it. I wouldn't say that data entry is my passion, but it gives me plenty of free time to rescue animals, garden and travel.
Rali Meyer 3 weeks ago
Do NOT follow your passion in earning money. You lose perspective. You can never decide when to quit
#5
In my experience, the older you get the less people care. Until finally nobody cares. If you don't put in the effort to reach out to people, nobody else will.
This panda votes 3 weeks ago
Sounds sad, but I find this oddly freeing. No one cares, so I can do what I want!
Marter, author of The Financial Mindset Fix: A Mental Fitness Program for an Abundant Life, suggested these everyday tips and habits to keep your mental well-being in check:
1) Establish a Morning Wellness Routine. "Instead of reaching for your phone and checking your social media, emails, or the news, establish a wellness routine each morning," the psychotherapist advised. "Take at least 10-15 minutes to stretch, meditate, do a short yoga practice, journal, pray or set your intentions for the day. This will help your mind and body ease into the day and set you up for success."
2) Practice Good Self-Care. "Be your own good parent and take care of yourself as you would somebody whom you love very much," Marter said. "Ensure proper nutrition, hydration, rest, exercise, and leisure activities. Sleep, diet, and exercise are key in promoting mental health. Ask your doctor to check your vitamin D levels and thyroid functioning, as these often affect our mental wellbeing."
3) Replace Your Inner Saboteur with Positive Affirmations. The psychotherapist said we can practice cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) by remaining aware of our self-talk, especially when our Inner Saboteur takes over and puts us down, triggering negativity. "Replace this self-sabotage with self-forgiveness, self-compassion, and self-affirmation."
#6
That in the end, you need to be your own best friend and cheer squad. Only you can lift yourself up out of life’s inevitable potholes.
#7
That once you live on your own, It cost money every second of your life. Even if you stay in and hide in your bed, The bills are rolling like the counter on a gas station pump.
Geoffrey Scott 3 weeks ago
Suggestion?...if you can let off the trigger on the nozzle, do so. It's quite surprising finding out "online shopping therapy" is a false "God". Living simply is great revenge. Not talking about living in a fridge box, but not "needing" the latest toy/garment.
#8
One sad reality is that life often doesn’t go as planned. Flexibility and resilience become essential skills for navigating adulthood.
4) Become Your Own Best Advocate. "Embrace your worth and live authentically in alignment with who you are at the core," Joyce Marter continued. "Communicate assertively, demonstrating respect for self and others, and set healthy boundaries at home and work. Negotiate to improve your financial health."
5) Access Support. "Nurture your support network like a garden—plant seeds for new relationships, nurture the ones that you cherish, and weed out toxic relationships. Ask for the specific help you need from a person in your network who is capable of providing it. Seek counseling or therapy as a routine and preventative form of healthcare, like going to the dentist or the doctor," the psychotherapist said.
#9
You have all the freedom to stay up as late as you want and eat candy for dinner. But you'll feel horrible if you do..
Also, dishes. So many f*****g dishes all the time.
#10
Not everything is black and white , most things are shades of grey.
#11
Life is more about how you react to things and less about what happens to you.
Good and bad things will happen in life. What matters is how you react to it.
Senjo Krane 3 weeks ago
This is the most important thing in my opinion. It makes the difference between misry and happiness.
#12
Everyone is very f*****g dumb.
keyboardtek 3 weeks ago
If one has had one's mind programmed by a religion, a cult, or a hateful political party, being dumb makes it very hard to see that you have been conned and lied to all those years. Having at least a little useful logical thinking skill is the only way one can escape those limiting mindsets.
According to some estimates, just 4.3 percent of people have no health problems. Additionally, 1 in every 8 people in the world live with a mental disorder. At a certain point, our burden can become too heavy to handle on our own.
Marter highlighted the following as common signs that we might benefit from seeing a therapist, counselor, or other external support:
- Physical, cognitive, and emotional signs of stress;
- Difficulty sleeping;
- Changes in weight or appetite;
- Symptoms of burnout, such as feeling overwhelmed, fatigued, apathetic, irritable, frustrated, or unmotivated;
- Low self-esteem;
- Panic attacks;
- Thoughts about self-harm or harming others;
- Substance misuse;
- Disordered eating behaviors;
- Decreased functioning at home or work;
- Social isolation or withdrawal;
- Interpersonal conflicts at home or work.
However, it's important to remember that "we shouldn't wait to see a therapist or counselor until we are suffering," Marter said. "We wouldn't wait to see a dentist until our teeth start falling out. See a counselor proactively and preventatively for a wellness checkup, just like you would go to the dentist or the doctor for an annual screening."
#13
While you’re growing up, your parents are growing older.
#14
Adulting is mostly just being tired and doing laundry.
#15
Time hits the FFW button after high school... it feels like January was last month sometimes. Next thing you know is been 10 years.
#16
You can prepare yourself as much as you want, life will always throw you a curve ball. Especially as an adult.
#17
Life isn’t fair.
You can work harder, be better qualified, but still get passed over for promotion. You can be the perfect partner, but they can choose to drop you anytime.
#18
You’re not guaranteed anything. Not love, not happiness. I think most people grow up taking for granted that these things WILL happen. Reality is a lot more complex. If you’re lucky what most of us do get looks something more like a comfortable compromise. And a lot of us end up going through life with less.
Russell Tilling 3 weeks ago
I found out at 58 after my wife left me, that I am on the spectrum (neuro-diverse)! So I am now having to re-orient/re-invent/re-appraise myself, what I want and how I behave. Didn’t see that coming, but it does explain a lot about my past. Enjoy the good times cos things always change eventually. Remember Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs!
#19
The number of possible life paths you have decreases as you get older. Sometimes it actually is too late to start.
#20
People at work can be just as, if not more childish than those at school. Some folk just wait for the opportunity to stab you in the back or belittle you publicly.
Geoffrey Scott 3 weeks ago
That's when you become the "go to" person and perform adequately to demonstrate value. If they need help, help 'em, if they refuse help, let 'em twist.
#21
First, it goes by way faster than you think it will.
Old age doesn't come on gradually. One day you'll just be like, "Dude, I'm old. How the eff did that happen?"
Second, young people are awesome.
Forget all the stereotypes about self-centered, heartless, entitled youth. Young people have an innate ability to say to themselves, "Well, that didn't work out. Oh well, let's do something else."
For young people, screwing up and trying something else, or doing something and realizing it isn't for them, is a part of being young. At some point, we lose that when we get older.
Older people tend to wallow in their mistakes and feel like it's too late to change. They feel trapped in their decisions and obligations.
Working with college students in my 50s, young people have taught me three very important lessons:
1. It's OK to need help.
That's what friends do. My experience has been that young people can be the most loyal and true friends of all.
2. Quit taking life so damn seriously.
There's something funny about pretty much everything, so pull back, take a deep breath, and laugh.
3. It's OK to change and do something else.
You make a mistake? You're not dead! Do something else.
So my advice to young people is: respect youth, learn from them, and they'll respect you back and teach you plenty.
And never lose the qualities I named above.
El Dee 3 weeks ago
SO TRUE!! I'm not gonna be one of those oldies who goes on about 'the young people of today' Today's young people are tolerant, kind, inclusive and hard working. They have a sense of justice and fairness that was lacking in my (Gen X) generation. The 'young people of today' are thethe very best of us..
#22
50 years I'm on this planet and I'm sitting here pondering what I can tell you that is a sad reality of being an adult. Nothing really springs to mind other than the daily grind of going to work. Do better in school and you can increase your prospects of having a job that you actually enjoy.
Scott Rackley 3 weeks ago
From a toolmaker who makes more than the engineers he reports too, I say this. Be the authority in your field. Be the person someone asks if this s**t is going to go sideways and explain why. Be the person the engineers come, begrudgingly, to post op their failure. Just don't rub it in, train your engineers.
#23
You have to stop eating processed foods.
Susie Elle 3 weeks ago
Enjoy your coke and chips every now and then, just not every single day. It's all about balance, you won't die from drinking a sugary coke every once in a while.
#24
How lonely it feels. I’m 20, so i’m still in the transitioning period of becoming an adult, and sometimes it’s so lonely because this is where everyone’s life starts to go at different paces & in different directions. You start growing as a person & sometimes that means growing apart from friends you thought you’d be with forever.
Dumb teenager 3 weeks ago
I’m hoping it’ll go the other way for me, and give me a fresh start. The less people who know me after I leave school, the better
#25
Your career can be ruined by other people through little fault of your own.
Alexia 3 weeks ago (edited)
Yeah. And if not ruined, then at least derailed. I was literally told by my manager that I could not get the promotion because I didn't "pay attention to my entourage." So great results, experience, positive feedback from co-workers meant nothing, as long as I refused to kiss his pathetic a*s.
#26
You can do pretty much anything you want, which is great, but you have to deal with the consequences, which isn't great.
You can stay in bed all day and not work, but you will probably be broke. You can have a big party with your friends, but you have to pay for all the stuff and you have to clean up afterwards.
Basically, you have huge possibilities and opportunities, but it is all down to you.
#27
People will dislike you and sabotage you for reasons that have nothing to do with you. Oftentimes you have only three choices - tolerate it, leave, or go to war.
Leaving is usually the best option.
#28
None of us have a clue what we're doing or what's going to happen or what we should actually do.
#29
Nothing happens unless you make it happen! A blessing and a curse.
#30
Remember when you were a kid and summer loomed large on the horizon? It took a while to get there but once you did, it was three months of glorious freedom, adventure, and comfortable boredom. When you’re an adult. You don’t get that anymore. You can look forward to your one or two five day vacations a year, or even just a measly three-day weekend, knowing that you’re going to pay the price when you get back to your job and have to catch up on everything that you missed. It’s an endless, plodding existence in cubicle-land. But maybe your office will have a decent vending machine or something.
What sad reality of being an adult that young people should know?
This panda votes 3 weeks ago
One of my sad truths I learned as an adult was that my religion wasn't true. Losing your religion suuuuuucks.
Lupita Nyong'heaux 3 weeks ago
i was never a "strong" believer anyway, but i found going full atheist incredibly liberating.
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This panda votes 3 weeks ago
One of my sad truths I learned as an adult was that my religion wasn't true. Losing your religion suuuuuucks.
Lupita Nyong'heaux 3 weeks ago
i was never a "strong" believer anyway, but i found going full atheist incredibly liberating.
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