There's also a wee label, much like the sign here sticker on a document. The man gets to keep this and wear it.

This is a well written bit of satire, with the perfect ending

“Can you ask the waiter for our bill?” “Don’t worry, my ass will do it”

Yes because everyone knows having sex changes your bone structure.

A throbbing jazz cafe sounds like a busy place where you probably have to wait ages for your coffee whilst listening to someone doing terrible amateur scat.

You know what else isn’t accurate? This passage

Hahahahaha! This is brilliant!

Sticking with the US state theme, she could be Virginia Jones.

Haha I can't stop picturing this gorgeous woman stumbling around hacking and half blind because she's got her eyelashes stuck in her mouth again while batting them at the no doubt unparalleled super manly main character. Haha oh man, it hurts. I can't stop laughing

Not ok so have so many lumps on your breasts. Go see a doctor.

"Oh noooo, not the thing keeping my vagina clean of infections and making sex enjoyable. How awful." *sarcasm ends*

I love the mental image of a man lordly standing in front of the porcelain throne, conjuring thunderous splashings of pee while mine has to find its way through the maze of my innards. He gets to majestically drown the rubber ducks - I have to pray my liquids don't take an internal wrong turn and end up in the nose.

well if we talking about jail...maybe

😂 someone's a boob guy

*slap* get up

In my eyes one of the least attractive men

This is obviously wrong as ladies pants dont have real back pockets

God forbid she could be smarter than the man.

This is disturbing. Makes me wonder how many rapists are convinced that their victims "love rape"?

So men think women's nipples show our mood like a dog's tail? gross

Poor men. always victims of their instincts

How does one purse one's nipples? Sounds like a cool party trick.

"she had gone through men like an enema" Did...did they swallow her, or shove her up their butts?

Don't you just hate it when your rhythmical magnet isn't functioning properly?

"For the Moment she was a houseplant and she loved it-" wtf?!

Breast flexing. Perhaps a new Olympic event?

This thread is so damn funny.

Never have I ever used my breasts to gesture. Nor have I ever noticed a woman pointing to something with her nipple.Is this a thing???

How did this get published??

Hmm so breasts have some pretty magical powers apparently. I am fairly certain that in the many decades which I have had them that I have never tensed them in concentration or pursed them nor have I ever had a favorite. I tolerate them. We have good days and bad days.

Not how sex works? yea, also not how women work.

One of my man boobs is bigger than its brother

What a load of rubbish

Can one purse her nipples while her breasts are tense from concentrating on a situation though? This may be impossible if she is also attempting to flex one breast towards a wall.

Flexing her breast? Is this actually terry crews in drag?

I'm sure David has a reason for licking the yellow and purple dancer...

Why they making it sound like our boobs have super powers?

WTF? Does this guy think breasts and nipples are prehensile?

These sound like the fembots from Austin Powers.

To hell with all that I want to know more about David licking a faded dancer off the wallpaper.

Sounds like this book has some sci-fi or paranormal elements--maybe "She" is an alien, or has breast-related superpowers? Just spitballing here.

Flexing breasts!? What the what!?

Clearly, I not using my nipples' to their full potential.

Great. Just what we need. Another t*t freak.

Everybody declare their favorite breast, right squad versus left squad.

People actually buy and read books with writing like this? It's a sad world.

what in the actual f**k

Did you know, you can actually tense your breasts? Only its not the actual breast that tenses but the pectoral muscle under them because yes, men, women also have pectoral muscles.