There's also a wee label, much like the sign here sticker on a document. The man gets to keep this and wear it.

This is a well written bit of satire, with the perfect ending

“Can you ask the waiter for our bill?” “Don’t worry, my ass will do it”

Yes because everyone knows having sex changes your bone structure.

A throbbing jazz cafe sounds like a busy place where you probably have to wait ages for your coffee whilst listening to someone doing terrible amateur scat.

You know what else isn’t accurate? This passage

Hahahahaha! This is brilliant!

Sticking with the US state theme, she could be Virginia Jones.

Haha I can't stop picturing this gorgeous woman stumbling around hacking and half blind because she's got her eyelashes stuck in her mouth again while batting them at the no doubt unparalleled super manly main character. Haha oh man, it hurts. I can't stop laughing

Not ok so have so many lumps on your breasts. Go see a doctor.

"Oh noooo, not the thing keeping my vagina clean of infections and making sex enjoyable. How awful." *sarcasm ends*

I love the mental image of a man lordly standing in front of the porcelain throne, conjuring thunderous splashings of pee while mine has to find its way through the maze of my innards. He gets to majestically drown the rubber ducks - I have to pray my liquids don't take an internal wrong turn and end up in the nose.

well if we talking about jail...maybe

😂 someone's a boob guy

*slap* get up

Now we know why Japan keeps getting earthquakes. It's the anime girls.

Somehow a weird kind of disney porn just popped into my head - dancing, singing boobs and all... XD

Possibly only true for generously proportioned vampire ladies who have chosen to sleep in a tree on a particularly windy day... LOL

So... she woke up sleep-jumping on the trampoline?

No need to set an alarm when my breasts can just do the job of waking me up!

The passage was funny but the comments were so much funnier!

"How am I going to explain this black eye in the office?"

Guess she's not a jogger.

Where the hell is she sleeping? The back of a Jeep going down a dirt road?

That happens to me all the time. So annoying. I have to tie them down.

wha....

I just knew there was a reason why I prefer female writers!

This is adult movie level of stupid

I'd spend 40 more minutes in bed I wouldn't even hit 'snooze'

Mine do this all the time - so annoying.

Good grief

what?!?!?

Huh?

Were they hungry? Wuhh...?

What?

..." and my erect, throbing nipples , posing as sundials, told me that I had over slept by an hour or so"... Some of this stuff is just messed up.

In my eyes one of the least attractive men

This is obviously wrong as ladies pants dont have real back pockets

God forbid she could be smarter than the man.

This is disturbing. Makes me wonder how many rapists are convinced that their victims "love rape"?

So men think women's nipples show our mood like a dog's tail? gross

Poor men. always victims of their instincts

How does one purse one's nipples? Sounds like a cool party trick.

So... she's a virgin, but she's seen some things?

To be fair, bully terriers tend to be quite bouncy dogs...

Not even children escape having their breasts described, even if it's to point out their lack of said breasts. Like that's something normal people deliberately observe about a child.