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Having someone who you can rely on can enrich your existence in so many ways; good friends can bring out the best in you, and they're always ready to give you a hand whenever you feel like your life may start to crumble apart. 

However, it’s important to give back and remember that every connection has its do’s and don'ts, and there are certain ethics that nobody communicates yet everyone always follows, even if the person in question is a random passer-by:

"Girls of Reddit, what is an unspoken rule of 'Girl Code?’" – this online user took to one of Reddit’s most thought-provoking communities to ask about the unwritten rules that women tend to live by. The question has managed to receive over 30K upvotes and 7.8K worth of comments discussing the most important rules of girlhood. 

More info: Reddit

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#1

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online You help other women who seem to be in trouble. When I was a teenager my mom and I went to Walmart to get groceries. We split up to save time and a man started stalking me through the aisles. I finally got out to a main area and saw a lady with two kids. Walked right up to her and stood as close as possible. She was confused but when I made a motion at the guy, she understood. She loudly thanked me for getting the milk and called me honey. Also referred to her son as my brother. Once the guy left she stayed with me until I saw my mom, and then stayed where she was until I got to my mom and motioned that I was okay. That lady deserves an award for helping me that day.

DreamGirl3 , joey zanotti Report

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Emerald Ocean
Emerald Ocean
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone should help people in this scary predicament. This needs to be at the top!

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#2

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online Person 1: I like your dress!

Person 2: Thanks! It has pockets! <displays said pockets>

If your dress has pockets, you let them know.

my_Favorite_post , Alison Report

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Fiona Parky
Fiona Parky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You also have to put your hands in the pockets as you say this. It’s a thing

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#3

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online If there's a red spot on her pants you tell her discreetly and immediately.

EDIT: A lot of guys are asking what to do if they see a woman with a blood stain. You have two options. You could tell her yourself which may or may not be appreciated depending on the woman. Or you could simply ask another woman to tell her. I love how many guys wanna help look out for the ladies who end up in this predicament! :D

TheRedMaiden , menstruationstasse.net Report

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Dippin Dot
Dippin Dot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son is almost 14 and I have told him if he sees this in school he immediately hands the girl his sweatshirt to tie around her waste - and just needs to say “you’ll want to tie this around your waste. You can bring it back to me tomorrow.” If he doesn’t have a sweatshirt he needs to just be polite and say “I don’t want you to get embarrassed but I thought you should know you have something on your pants” and point to his own butt…

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#4

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online My personal unspoken rule is keep an eye on other girls drinks when you are at the bar. Even if I don't know them. I have asked random strangers to keep an eye on mine and they are always like, "GIRL YES we have to look out for each other!"

Yellow_Wood_Wanderer , Antonio Castagna Report

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#5

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online If another girl comes over to you and pretends to know you, no questions asked we've been friends for 30 years and haven't seen each other in 5.

And always give a tampon if you have one, and someone needs one.


Edit: never lend tampons, always give.

Wonder_WomanUnderoos , Gareth WilliamsF Report

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#6

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online As far as I've ever seen, every girl knows 'the look'. 'The look' is a look a girl gets on her face when she is in a situation that she doesn't want to be in, it's part 'help me' and part 'get me out of here'.

When you see this look, you step in. Doesn't matter if you know the girl or not.

stepmomanon , Patrick Mannion Report

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GirlFriday
GirlFriday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will be anyone's aunt. ANYONE'S. AUNT. ANY. TIME. I just have to see the look or have them look my way for too long, and BOOM, I swoop in with Auntie check-in. I will also call any female (or male), no matter age, color, nationality, or religion "Sugar Pop" if I think they need help because that is the nickname I call my nieces.

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#7

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online No women left behind at the club. You look out for and take care of your girls and don’t let random men drag them away without their explicit permission.

yokayla , YoTuT Report

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Joely King
Joely King
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Literally any girl who looks alone or uncomfortable with someone. Always watch out for your girls no matter what.

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#8

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online Always give each other tampons and pads when needed.

lmaowhatislife16 , Wetfinder Report

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#9

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online If their strap is twisted, untwist it. Always carry extra feminine products, and extra hair Ties. And if she’s being harassed, you just link up and walk with her, no questions asked.

Also, my daughters have a literal code... if they ever text me the secret code, I will drop everything I’m doing and call them immediately, make up a major crisis and demand to come get them immediately. Make it 100% my fault, but give them an immediate out to any situation they don’t feel able to simply walk away from.

wimwood , Lynda A Report

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#10

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online If she's dating a known abuser, take turns getting her out of the house. Play cards, shop for shoes, ask her to help you lay out the garden, make pie. Never broach the subject yourself - just make sure she knows she's welcome any time, day or night, with or without advance notice.

redcolumbine , Phillip Pessar Report

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Hill Branda
Hill Branda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ummm...what do reusable shopping bags have to do with this topic? You have the wrong picture to go with "If She's Dating an Abuser..."

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#11

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online Do not post group pictures on social media with friends unless everyone involved knows & approves of said pic.

scarlettcrush , HS You Report

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#12

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online If you walk into the bathroom and the girl in there is being quiet, you do your business and leave as quickly as you can. Girl is trying to poop!

Cloudinterpreter , Gregg O'Connell Report

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Mimi M
Mimi M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I am in the ladies room at the mirror and someone's in the stall, I always turn the sink on until I leave. Give them some privacy, even if it's just to pee in peace.

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#13

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online Tell her when you see him cheating, snap a pic for proof if you can. I've lost friends for this but I'll still do it every time.

scarlettcrush , m01229 Report

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ScotuL
ScotuL
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bruh how do you lose friends for this? I would have a friend for life lol

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#14

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online This could be a trend across genders too but when a girl says they love something you are wearing you always tell her where you bought it and how much it was and ESPECIALLY if you got it for a discount.

GammaRVE , allispossible.org.uk Report

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flutterbyy
flutterbyy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What if they are the spoils I collected from a robbery, should I tell them the address?

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#15

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online Everyone is friends in the bar bathroom after 11, no matter what.

eyebrowshampoo , Alpha Report

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Joely King
Joely King
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Best friends foreverrrrrr! Until the bar closes and you never see them again.

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#16

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online - Protect each other. Don't care if it's your sister or a complete stranger.
- text your friends to check if they got home safe
- stay with them while their uber or taxi etc comes
- Check over that message she is going to send to the guy she likes to see if it sounds okay. Some communications require a group effort
- Sanitary items to all vaginal having humans who need.

slstark2896 , Ben Schumin Report

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#17

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online Do not....f**k your friends boyfriend or ex-boyfriend

YCD98 , amir appel Report

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#18

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online Lipstick on their teeth, eyeliner in the corner of their eye, skirt tucked into pantyhose. You let them know without making a huge deal about it.

garden-girl , Sholeh Report

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GirlFriday
GirlFriday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The universal sign for lipstick on someone's teeth is to touch (or come close to) your own front teeth with your index finger while looking at the other woman. Every woman knows what mean.

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#19

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online If you get breast cancer, let as many people as possible feel your lump so they know what they are looking for! Before my mastectomy, my breast made a lot of new friends—early detection can mean the difference between life and death.

ThanksCancer_com , Nesbitt_Photo Report

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Emerald Ocean
Emerald Ocean
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eh this one is a little weird for me tho it may just be my introverted self talking

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#20

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online Human wall any girl if the only option is to pee in public

GuaidonAye , gailhampshire Report

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Emma Starr
Emma Starr
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, I was on a trip to Poland with a school group and there were no places to go at all...we found a field that seemed to have cover. Nope. Caught pants down peeing on the ground in Poland.

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#21

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online if friend drinks too much and starts to puke, always hold her hair back for her

demonardvark , dirtyboxface Report

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ace axolotl (she/her)
ace axolotl (she/her)
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

or tie it up. that brings me to another rule: you ALWAYS lend or give hair ties when another girl asks for one! (this is not just for girls of course)

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#22

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online If your friend gets back with her s***ty ex you always support your friend but you also tell her the truth and say if the relationship is toxic.

DayumItsMe , Virginia State Parks Report

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#23

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online This one especially applies to college girls. If you're at a party and you see a girl doing something she might regret the next day due to drinking WAY too much, you go over there and make sure shes okay.

mystical_bogus , Jirka Matousek Report

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#24

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online You always pretend that you know each other when a guy is being a jerk and you (or they) need a way out of a conversation.

MinaTomoe , Gareth Williams Report

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BonnyDK
BonnyDK
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a high school friend help me out this way. There was a tall guy in one of my classes that was hitting on me in Jr. college. Would not leave me alone. Followed me across campus. Kept asking me out and I kept turning him down. He was getting particularly aggressive when I turned a corner and my friend from HS grabbed me close and kissed me well! Acted like he was my boyfriend. The guy had been saying I wouldn't date him cause he was black. My high school friend was black. The guy left in shock and did not bother me again. My friend told me to stay away from him because he was bad news. Very thankful he was there when I needed him.

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#25

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online Console the crying one

lolo-bee , Alexander Lyubavin Report

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flutterbyy
flutterbyy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or offer them water (I'm really awkward at consoling people, so offering water seems to do the trick).

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#26

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online if you're wearing a hair tie on your wrist and someone asks for a hair tie, you give it to them (and accept that you likely will never see it again)

worstbrain , Ivan Radic Report

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Disgruntled Pelican
Disgruntled Pelican
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always carry extra hair ties, tampons/pads, ibuprofen/tylenol, and a nail kit. You never know when someone will need it!

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#27

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online Also added to sanitary products, pain killers!! If you got em handy, help a b***h out!

dizzyspringer , Rawpixel Ltd Report

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What's In Your Head?
What's In Your Head?
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know, those actually look like fantastic painkillers. I could definitely use a dose of stars, colours and glitter (in other words, new life energy!) now and then. If only it'd work that way.

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#28

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online Stupid or not, the original Girl Code is that once you have any sort of sexual/romantic link to a guy (even just saying you like him) he is 100% off-limits to all friends.

(This rule is more nuanced when the object of desire is another woman.)

zazzlekdazzle , Vincent Diamante Report

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Deutschland Mädchen
Deutschland Mädchen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless it's a celebrity crush then by all means gush over the cuteness together

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#29

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online The 5-minute rule. If it can be fixed in 5 minutes or less tell her!

If it can't (bloat situation etc..) then there's no need to say anything because it will literally only make her feel bad.

stretchyscrunchie , Old White Truck Report

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#30

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online There is an almost imperceptible line between intrusive prurience and interest in the sex lives of your friends that's defined by their inclination to share rather than you inquiring or making insinuations. Many friends will discuss sex candidly, others will use discretion, and some will resent the intrusion; always wait to be confided in rather than commit an indiscretion.

There are weird assumptions about the 'sisterhood' that we talk about penis sizes etc without reserve. This is untrue.

VelvetDreamers , Susanne Nilsson Report

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WordWeaver
WordWeaver
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women have NO boundaries when it comes to health issues, but only when talking amongst women. Talking about men? Not so much.

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#31

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online When bra straps are on the loose you help adjusting them. Only question asked is how far up (or down) they prefer.

Edit: there was some confusement about consent and I think it great people think about that! But in this scenario girls usually come to you asking if you can help so consent is given. Keep up the thinking and helping!

-Jellybeanaddict- , Bec Report

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Pumpkin Spice
Pumpkin Spice
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, if your girlfriend comes to you saying that her bra's loose and biting her lip, help her adjust her bra and give her some lip balm! Help her out!

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#32

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online If another female asks if they look fat the answer is always "no" followed by a compliment.

23cacti , Miguel Discart Report

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#33

30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online Much like a code among smokers (you can ask anyone smoking to bum one) there are no barriers among complete strangers if she likes your dress/glasses/haircut/etc. You receive the compliment with delight and immediately give details as to how to acquire the same. Then you move on again like the total strangers that you are.

I had a woman just ask me once how I wash my hair (I have curly hair, so it's a big thing to know your "routine") and I spend 10 minutes speaking to a complete stranger on the streets of DC like she was my BFF about co-washing, hair twisting, hair products, and all that jazz.

(Once caveat to this is that, if there is a significant age difference between the compliment giver - being the older one - and the receiver, then there is a chance it might not be received well, it's a fine line.)

zazzlekdazzle , Skaja Lee Report

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#34

Insult the bad ex when she's talking about him.

I get it ok, sometimes the girl might be in the wrong too. But when consoling your girlfriend, it helps to insult their ex boyfriend and call them an idiot for not noticing nor appreciating how amazing she is.

Her: "My boyfriend just dumped me over a text.*sniffle*"

Me: "WTF. WHAT A D******D. I WILL FIGHT HIM."

[Aaaaaaand then it gets weird when they get back together again. Sigh.]

bulgogigigigiyah Report

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BadCat
BadCat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've had bad experiences with this. Turns out, when they decide to get back with their ex later that day they get all resentful of the things you said about him earlier.

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