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“[Am I The Jerk] For ‘Ruining’ My Wedding Dress?”
Interview
Weddings are one of the most beautiful and happiest days in our lives. Everybody celebrates love, all of your closest people are together and happiness is in the air. It’s not a secret that planning a wedding is a long and complicated process as well. It’s important to have a clear vision to make your special day like something from your dreams.
However, what if you create a vision and idea that you and fiancé love, but once you tell your family, they lose their cool? Nobody likes to feel tension on their special day.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Every couple wants to make memories on their wedding day in different ways
![“[Am I The Jerk] For ‘Ruining’ My Wedding Dress?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/1-7.jpg "“[Am I The Jerk] For ‘Ruining’ My Wedding Dress?”")
Image credits: geir tønnessen (not the actual photo)
Woman wonders if she was being a jerk for planning to turn her wedding dress into an art project for guests
![“[Am I The Jerk] For ‘Ruining’ My Wedding Dress?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/author_82602beecdcabca7a1a336857f5a5b9c.jpg "“[Am I The Jerk] For ‘Ruining’ My Wedding Dress?”")
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Image credits: ManyRainbowHands
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Image credits: davidsbridal (not the actual photo)
Her sister, who has a boutique, offered to discount a dress for the woman as a gift, so she picked her dream dress
![“[Am I The Jerk] For ‘Ruining’ My Wedding Dress?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/author_675a3d4add84764c9cb6f317101344c9.jpg "“[Am I The Jerk] For ‘Ruining’ My Wedding Dress?”")
Image credits: ManyRainbowHands
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Image credits: allispossible.org.uk (not the actual photo)
She shares that she is from a huge family with a lot of kids, so she became their babysitter and loves those kids a lot
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Image credits: ManyRainbowHands
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Image credits: Richard Kelland (not the actual photo)
The couple decided that after the wedding ceremony they want to do an activity with the kids where guests will put their hand prints on the skirt of the dress
![“[Am I The Jerk] For ‘Ruining’ My Wedding Dress?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/author_0cb2e268c70172a95b1fe1dca7cc8751.jpg "“[Am I The Jerk] For ‘Ruining’ My Wedding Dress?”")
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Image credits: ManyRainbowHands
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Image credits: Alexander Grey (not the actual photo)
After mentioning it to the family, the woman’s sister went crazy because she didn’t go to all this trouble to get her this dress just to ruin it
![“[Am I The Jerk] For ‘Ruining’ My Wedding Dress?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/author_e00b27de5ac0d490901530d43e0fce72.jpg "“[Am I The Jerk] For ‘Ruining’ My Wedding Dress?”")
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Image credits: ManyRainbowHands
Now her family is asking her to rethink this idea and her sister said that she doesn’t want to be a part of her wedding anymore at all
One Reddit user decided to share her story to one of the most judgmental communities asking if she was indeed being a jerk for wanting to make wedding guests put a print on the skirt of her dress right after the ceremony. The post gained quite a lot of attention and collected almost 7K upvotes and 900 comments.
To get a little background information, the woman shares that she is from a big family. She has always loved hanging out with kids and when her generation of the family started having kids, she became their go-to babysitter. Long story short, she loves those kids and is planning on having a kid-friendly wedding. Moreover, her older sister owns a boutique and as a gift offered a discount for her dream dress.
So the couple decided that they would love to do an activity that would be something like an art project. After the ceremony, they want their guests to put their hand prints on the skirt of the dress. This way they can have beautiful memories of all the people being there on their happiest day. However, once the woman mentioned this plan to the family, they went nuts.
While some people started saying that it’s a really nice idea, her sister started yelling. She claimed that she didn’t go through all this trouble to get her this dream dress just to ruin it after an hour of wearing it. The whole conversation finished with family members asking the woman to reconsider this idea as her sister refuses to participate in her wedding at all.
The community members voted that nobody was being jerks in this situation. Some discuss that her sister’s reaction was wrong, while others mention that the sister getting mad is a valid reaction as she is taking a financial loss as a business owner. However, folks suggested different options for it so the paint will stay beautifully and won’t make anybody mad: “I had this very same desire so I just invested in a large canvas,” one user wrote. “Everyone could leave their handprints or write a message on it.”
![“[Am I The Jerk] For ‘Ruining’ My Wedding Dress?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/5-2.jpg "“[Am I The Jerk] For ‘Ruining’ My Wedding Dress?”")
Image credits: Trung Nguyen (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda got in touch with Alisha Jemelian, who is a wedding designer and blogger. She kindly agreed to share her insights regarding unconventional wedding ideas, the most important things to consider when choosing wedding attire and also some innovative and unique wedding outfits that she recently saw!
To begin with, Alisha shares that unconventional wedding clothing and dresses are becoming more and more popular. Instead of wearing typical black tuxedos and white gowns, couples are choosing outfits that reflect their own personalities and love stories.
“There is also a trend to ‘trash’ your wedding dress after the ceremony,” she emphasizes. “Basically, the bride will slip back into her wedding gown after the big day to capture stunning images of her dress being ruined (often by being submerged in the water). So while the handprint idea may seem extreme, it is actually quite mild compared to what other brides choose to do,” Alisha comments.
She highlights that keeping the communication open is therefore essential to preventing conflict. In this specific situation where the bride is taking a “gift” of a reduced wedding dress, ask the providing party whether they have any expectations, such as whether they want the dress returned.
Now, speaking about what you should keep in mind when choosing wedding attire, the wedding designer says that it is important to clearly communicate the dress code on your invitations, wedding website, or through other channels to ensure everyone is aware of your expectations. The clothes you wear for your wedding should truly represent both you and your partner. There is no right or wrong way to celebrate your special love story.
Finally, Alisha shares that she has seen quite a few creative attire choices for weddings as themed weddings are on the rise. “I recently had one bride who dressed as a ‘Viking’ and who had the guests all dress in Viking-related gear,” she shares. “I have also seen couples combine elements from different cultures into their wedding attire, creating a beautiful fusion that honors their diverse backgrounds.”
And of course, don’t forget to check out Alisha’s Free Style Guide + Veil Sample Swatches, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube profiles!
So guys, wedding days are your magical days, thus create beautiful memories and celebrate love! However, solve all conflicts with family members before the wedding day so that everybody will be happy.
Redditors discussed that both sides may be jerks a little bit but also nobody is fully a jerk in this situation
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What do you think ?
dremetrius 1 year ago
What the hell is with the judgments on this one? If it's a gift, it's theirs to do what they want with it. She isn't taking a huge steaming dump on it, she's making it a memory rather than a one time expense. Actual objections such as this not working on that fabric, or making sure the kids have spare outfits for crafts (NOT just smocks, lord no!) are sensible thoughts to bring up. Sister having a temper tantrum is a complete and selfish a*****e. Even if she'd paid for the whole thing, it's still A GIFT. Those don't come with conditions, they come with blessings.
Na Schi 1 year ago
Additional: who is gonna wearing their wedding dress a second time? I used to kid with my partner that I would get a cotton one. That way I can dye it black and wear it at his funeral (considering the statistically shorter life expectancy of males). And now I think I see myself out... (PS: The sister in this post should be happy that the to be wedded wife actually is planning to have a fun & unforgettable celebration! Or maybe... did the sister just hoped to recycle the dress and sell it a second time???)
Load More Replies...
Ima Manimal 1 year ago (edited)
As opposed to wearing it one time and sticking it in a box forever. Return the dress. Get your own dress. And tell you sister no thanks. And then do what you planned.
nia not long 1 year ago
This! At this point it doesnt seem like it's even really hers
Load More Replies... Shark Lady 1 year ago
I went to a wedding where the bride and groom had a big canvas set up with paints, and more importantly, brushes, and asked all the guests to do a doodle or whatever took our fancy. The paints were designed for children, so non-toxic and washable, once the wedding was over they sprayed it with some sort of setting spray so it would last.
Midoribird Aoi 1 year ago
Very smart idea. Also good way to keep kids occupied during what might to them be a dull reception. Lol ( Just my little kid memories talking here: oh wow, bride is so pretty, but all the grownups are just talking and laughing and that is boring!)
Load More Replies... dremetrius 1 year ago
What the hell is with the judgments on this one? If it's a gift, it's theirs to do what they want with it. She isn't taking a huge steaming dump on it, she's making it a memory rather than a one time expense. Actual objections such as this not working on that fabric, or making sure the kids have spare outfits for crafts (NOT just smocks, lord no!) are sensible thoughts to bring up. Sister having a temper tantrum is a complete and selfish a*****e. Even if she'd paid for the whole thing, it's still A GIFT. Those don't come with conditions, they come with blessings.
Na Schi 1 year ago
Additional: who is gonna wearing their wedding dress a second time? I used to kid with my partner that I would get a cotton one. That way I can dye it black and wear it at his funeral (considering the statistically shorter life expectancy of males). And now I think I see myself out... (PS: The sister in this post should be happy that the to be wedded wife actually is planning to have a fun & unforgettable celebration! Or maybe... did the sister just hoped to recycle the dress and sell it a second time???)
Load More Replies... Ima Manimal 1 year ago (edited)
As opposed to wearing it one time and sticking it in a box forever. Return the dress. Get your own dress. And tell you sister no thanks. And then do what you planned.
nia not long 1 year ago
This! At this point it doesnt seem like it's even really hers
Load More Replies... Shark Lady 1 year ago
I went to a wedding where the bride and groom had a big canvas set up with paints, and more importantly, brushes, and asked all the guests to do a doodle or whatever took our fancy. The paints were designed for children, so non-toxic and washable, once the wedding was over they sprayed it with some sort of setting spray so it would last.
Midoribird Aoi 1 year ago
Very smart idea. Also good way to keep kids occupied during what might to them be a dull reception. Lol ( Just my little kid memories talking here: oh wow, bride is so pretty, but all the grownups are just talking and laughing and that is boring!)
Load More Replies... You May Like “Am I A Jerk For Not Letting My Mother-In-Law See My Baby Until I Put Cameras Up In My Home?” “[Am I The Jerk] For Refusing To Pay For My MIL’s Broken Phone Screen After My Toddler Threw It?” “Am I The Jerk For Refusing To Help My Brother After His Wife Blabbed About My Financial Gain?”
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