It's telling that OP states how they regularly go to their family to see them, but family doesn't do it the other way round. And that's what happened with this vacation too, family was used to getting their way and OP accomodating them and reacted really badly when told no. I have the same situation. My family blames me for 'distancing' myself. But in reality all I did is just living my life and stop constantly hunting after them when I realized that they barely send me a text on my birthday but made absolutely no effort to keep more contact than that. I was never truly included because I dared to have different interests and they didn't bother to even try to connect to me , while I constantly tried to be part of what they do. Now that my parents are dead, I highly doubt I'll ever see my siblings again. But it's not my fault. And I won't grovel back

I'm with Sonja, The first post. I spent my young adulthood in the same manner. Relatives rarely contacted me but when we got together would say that I was antisocial. I realize that's what people say to make themselves feel better cuz they know how bad they're treating others

there is an expression in Dutch, "Fish and visitors only keep fresh for two days" and I completely agree. so hard NTA, visiting for a few days is fine but a whole week with the family and small children sounds like hell on earth to me

These two put in all the effort to maintain family relationships and no one puts any effort towards them. I know this story all too well. I live in New England, but grew up out west. No one ever visits me yet they expect me to make trips out to see them. I finally stopped and when I got attitude, I reminded them that planes fly both ways and I was done spending my time off and my money visiting people who make no effort towards me. I don't really talk to them anymore and I have a wonderful husband and chosen family on the Maine coast.

We have 1 kid and my siblings who all have 3-4 kids say to us, how come you can go on so many holidays & how come you can afford this & that & you have a great peaceful life with no stress.. YES because we stopped at 1 kid so we could do these things, not my fault you all wanted 3-4 kids 🤦‍♀️

Yeah, forcing someone to go on an expensive vacation they don't have any interest in going on sounds like a brilliant idea. /s

Thst sounds like terrible vacation, babysitting kids in theme park.

I was part of a child-free couple for a little over a decade. The other siblings-in-law were parents. EVERY family gathering was at their behest, in their places, and at their leisure. We were, since childless, afterthoughts. We used to have bi-weekly barbecues at our place, with 20-40 guests, some were restaurateurs, chefs, bar-keepers, tapsters, you name it. That was our peer group. They were epic. After years of this, my ex-BIL and his date (he was separated from his wife, my ex-SIL) accepted the invitation - first time - and was blown away at the food, entertainment, etc. He sullenly asked why we'd never invited him before, and I replied that they didn't seem interested in anything we were doing. (Hint, he only showed up because he wasn't welcome around the Main Family with his GF while still married to SIL.) Breeders can be super selfish.

Sounds like the fam was wanting to split the vacation evenly with them, which would have the OP footing the bill for some if the kids in the family. And they were definitely meant to be babysitters. Forget that malarkey. You do you!

I don't quite get how OP not going makes the trip more expensive for everyone else. Does that mean they were also expected to share a hotel room with others? Even then, the hotel is only a small part of the cost when going to Disney. OP going won't lower park ticket costs, food costs or travel costs.

If the choice is nature or Disney I’d choose nature every time. And OP is right! Family friendly equals child friendly

You are perfectly within your rights to choose not to go to Disneyland.... personally you couldn't pay me to go - too expensive, too noisy, too grubby. Anyway that's besides the point. If your expected to pay for the hoilday then you have the expectation to be chose not to go. As for helping with the kids, it's your choice to help. If they need al break they can pay for help - that includes you - if they want you to babysit suggest that.

I get 31 days leave a year and still wouldn't waste a week of it on that holiday. I did go to Disneyland Paris for 3 nights, 20 years ago when my boys were 8 and 4 . It was alright but I wouldn't go back.

I've seen too many of these type of stories about people being used as free sitters because they are family...I am the last one my family will ask and I will share my secrets...1. Teaching a kid a curse word or two never hurts, also make sure child uses said curse word when parents return and when they look at you in shock makes sure you are adorning your proudest aww face, 2. Make the children your personal bartender (my favorite), teach the children your favorite cocktails so they can serve you while you relax and watch tv. Makes sure child demonstrates new said skills (which will be useful eventually in life) when parents return and make sure you are adorning your proudest aww face when child presents their parents with perfectly mixed tequila sunrises complete with garnish. 3. Demand payment or steps 1 & 2 will be applied (honestly still might be). If I'm giving up my only day off to watch your minions you are paying me my salary broken up into an hourly rate...SUCCESS!

On the flip side. My kids are grown but no grandchildren yet. I told my younger brother and his wife I would LOVE to go to Disneyland with them and their boys. I'd get my own room but be around for and with them. They thought a family vacation would be better. When they got back they said they wished I had been there.

I get the "they should come see us instead of us always going to visit them" deal. As a divorced, childless woman, that's my life not only with some of my family, but also with my friends. Since I teach, I do often take advantage of the time I get around the holidays and in the summers to see people. It is aggravating that the majority of people I do see never think of visiting me. But that "we don't do family vacations" stance -- meh. They need to suck it up and get over it, and realize they are being just as inflexible as the in-laws. Rejecting the idea of doing any kind of family vacation is not only arrogant, it's rude.

The entire mention of 'Disney' would be enough to say 'over my dead body'. My parents took me when I was 10, we drove in a rental car with no AC and me wedged between older relatives in the back seat and I hated the entire trip. Disney sucks unless you're a 3 year old. The last thing * would ever Donis go back there, especially with someone else's brats, even if they were relatives. Eff that.

Did they really sensor the word p**n? I'm confused.

The YTA and ETH people must be showing off their entitled privilege. I'm sorry, but nobody dictates what I'm doing with my time and then throws a royal tantrum when I won't do it. She was polite, she explained why she declined, made clear she didn't hate anyone and where she stood That should had been enough. Period. People arguing otherwise are apparently used to forcing or guilting people into giving them their way, because obviously respect for boundaries and preferences isnt even entering your hot little heads

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You are better off not going. You already spend time with the family several times a year plus holidays. Disney is over priced, over crowded, long lines and miserable. Reiterate this is not your thing and your loss since you choose not to go, repeat it. Add in the crowds many viruses will be shared. One possible thing to do is, when you know the exact dates they will be there. If you have the time and money and want to do it-surprise them by showing up the last 48 hours they are there. If this is a possibility, call the MIL and let her know that though you have no intention to pay to go in the park you'd love to meet with everyone for a picnic or dinner out. Is there a zoo close by? You stay at your own hotel choice. Be prepared that someone, BIL, will pout and not want to get together. I think you get the idea, join the family without joining on on their drama or chaos. Otherwise, enjoy your quiet time. When they get home enjoy the stories and pictures they want to share.

As a non-native Floridian, I appreciate your feelings about FL. I happen to like Wally World and Epcot (even moreso) but the prices are nuts. As someone who likes camping, I'd suggest that you organize a camping trip for the family. A lot cheaper, better for the family, educational, no crowds, less chance of COVID, a chance of developing new skills, and healthier. NO down sides.

It's nuts how they think they can tell grown adults that they are going to go on vacation to a specific place and use their hard-earned cash and PTO. It's the lion, witch, and audacity of these b!ches. I guess maybe they were planning on trying to guilt this couple into paying for half of everything because I don't see how more people makes it cheaper otherwise. Or maybe it's let's all cram into 1-2 hotel rooms and see how much the state of Florida cares about enforcing the fire code.

Definitely NTA! If they want to have fun without the kids, they can p**n them off on the other adults with kids, including the MIL. Or, each other, mom takes them for a while then dad takes them for a while. How are you supposed to enjoy your "vacation" if you're watching their kids? If they want to have time without their kids, they can hire somebody to come along (and pay their room, board, and travel for them) and watch the kids while they go and play. Since they'd be working, they would have no expectations of riding any rides other than with the kids. Suggest that to your family for this and any future travels. Looking back, you'll probably see that you've been the babysitter before but you simply didn't realize it.

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Wow she actually thinks she’s an ‘auntie’ because she spends a few hours ever quarter with her family. She’s a childless woman who clearly has no time for family or children which her prerogative. But the pretence she’s a family oriented person is bull.