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“[Am I The Jerk] For Being Surly, Rude And Mean At A Wedding And Leaving Early?”
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“[Am I The Jerk] For Being Surly, Rude And Mean At A Wedding And Leaving Early?”

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A wedding is an utterly magical and extraordinary event, an endless source of stories, both good and terrible ones. Much more often terrible, which is typical. Well, indeed, almost every person has their own wedding tale, from their own or from someone else’s ceremony, where everything that could go wrong went absolutely wrong.

Of course, a wedding is always a holiday for two, and only these two decide what this holiday will be like. But on the other hand, it also sometimes happens that the rules established by the organizers and the newlyweds are actually in pursuit of some completely insidious plan.

For example, as was the case with the author of this post on the AITA Reddit community, user u/Particular_Visual_14, whose story has already gained over 32.7K upvotes and about 3K various comments. As we said, people love wedding stories, so let’s try to figure this one out.

More info: Reddit

The author of the post was invited to her acquaintances’ wedding and was told that no +1 was allowed

Image credits: Jenniferschwalm (not the actual photo)

So, the author of the post was invited to the wedding of her friends. It’s a common thing, we’ve all been to other people’s weddings – but the problem was that the Original Poster was specifically asked to come without her boyfriend. When the woman asked if all guests were not allowed a +1, she was told that no, but preference is given to either spouses or couples with a “serious” relationship.

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Image credits: u/Particular_Visual_14

The woman had been dating her boyfriend for over a year, though the newlyweds told her that this relationship is “not serious”

The OP was surprised – after all, she and her boyfriend had been dating for more than a year, and if such a relationship cannot be called “serious”, then what could? But, as we said, the newlyweds always set their own rules, and if they “don’t want to see some random guy in the wedding photos” – this, in the end, is their right. The OP’s boyfriend took it quite calmly and with humor – especially since he was new to most of the guests.

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Image credits: u/Particular_Visual_14

So the woman just went to the wedding alone. Right before the start of the ceremony, the OP was extremely surprised, because almost all the guests were with their partners, and many, as the author of the post herself knew, had been in a relationship for much less than a year. The OP was upset and looked quite surly, both during the ceremony and on the wedding photos.

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Image credits: u/Particular_Visual_14

After the ceremony, the woman faced an attempt to bring her together with the couple’s old friend whom she didn’t like at all

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And then the time came for the reception – and here our heroine was the only person without a +1. Well, not literally the only one – after all, Dean, the newlyweds’ old acquaintance, immediately approached her. We must say that the OP was Dean’s crush, but she repeatedly let the man know that she did not like him, and even if she were not in a relationship, he still would not have had a chance.

Image credits: u/Particular_Visual_14

The author of the post just picked up her purse and left, but the newlyweds later texted her that she “hurt and confused” them by doing so

And now Dean approached her again, trying to flirt – and all this was watched with grins by the newlyweds and guests, who looked exactly like “Cupid matchmakers”. The OP got indignant, picked up her purse and just left without waiting for the cake cutting or wedding speeches. She arrived at her boyfriend’s house and they spent a good evening together, which was overshadowed only by a message from the newlyweds that they were “hurt and confused” by her early departure.

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Image credits: u/Particular_Visual_14

It was enough, the author of the post admits, to make her feel upset that she ruined her acquaintances’ wedding – despite their ugly treatment of her and her boyfriend. In the end, it happens very often when good people feel deeply ashamed when they put those who purposely cause them some kind of trouble in their place.

Image credits: Adam Woodrow (not the actual photo)

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Most of the commenters supported the woman, labeling her friends rude and intrusive

However, our heroine was massively supported by almost all the people in the comments. Moreover, many people wrote that they generally envy her restraint, and if they were in the place of the OP, they would have thrown a tantrum right at the wedding. In any case, commenters suppose that was rude and totally unacceptable of the newlyweds to try to force the OP into being that guy’s date.

Some commenters also believe that regardless of who initiated this venture – whether Dean himself or his newlywed friends, the whole idea looks completely stupid and inappropriate, and it’s the Original Poster who should make it clear to her acquaintances she’s “hurt and confused” by this particular situation. Be that as it may, she did the right thing here.

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If you are interested in reading a few more wedding stories, then here is, for instance, this post about the groom who kicked his mother out of the wedding because she came with his former in-laws. In addition, we do suppose you have already formed your own opinion about the characters in this story, so please feel free to write it in the comments.

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Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Author, BoredPanda staff

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After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

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Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Author, BoredPanda staff

After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

Saulė Tolstych

Saulė Tolstych

Author, Community member

Read more »

Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

Read less »

Saulė Tolstych

Saulė Tolstych

Author, Community member

Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

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Virgil Blue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Dean is the guy no girls give a chance even if he totally deserves it." Sorry Dean, you might be terribly shy or something, but you don't deserve anything, especially not a woman who is already in a relationship.

N Miller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Additional comments in the thread suggest he's a Nice Guy™. Which makes the attempts at a setup even ickier

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Dad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You need to flat out ask the wedding couple who's idea it was to single her out into not allowing her to bring her boyfriend and whomever it was they need to be cut out of her life.

JuniorCJ82
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Keep it simple; cut them both out. Better yet, get married within a year then don't even invite or tell them.

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waddles
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THAT’S SO INAPPROPRIATE- and they had the gall to be “hurt” when she left early- if it were me, one of the three would be getting a cake in the face

Meanie Nene
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Going to someone's stupid "wedding" is a pain in the a*s to begin with. To have a mere "acquaintance" pull that kind of a b******t stunt? Forget it.

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Virgil Blue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Dean is the guy no girls give a chance even if he totally deserves it." Sorry Dean, you might be terribly shy or something, but you don't deserve anything, especially not a woman who is already in a relationship.

N Miller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Additional comments in the thread suggest he's a Nice Guy™. Which makes the attempts at a setup even ickier

Load More Replies...
Dad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You need to flat out ask the wedding couple who's idea it was to single her out into not allowing her to bring her boyfriend and whomever it was they need to be cut out of her life.

JuniorCJ82
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Keep it simple; cut them both out. Better yet, get married within a year then don't even invite or tell them.

Load More Replies...
waddles
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THAT’S SO INAPPROPRIATE- and they had the gall to be “hurt” when she left early- if it were me, one of the three would be getting a cake in the face

Meanie Nene
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Going to someone's stupid "wedding" is a pain in the a*s to begin with. To have a mere "acquaintance" pull that kind of a b******t stunt? Forget it.

Load More Replies...
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