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“My Roommate Is Fining Me For Breaking Her Made Up House Rules And I’m Losing My Mind”

“My Roommate Is Fining Me For Breaking Her Made Up House Rules And I’m Losing My Mind”

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Having roommates can be great if you want to be more social. You can go hit the town together, have cozy nights in with a warm cup of tea and a movie, and have someone help you in case of emergency. Other times, however, roommates can be a real pain.

Like this woman, who started giving her roommate fines for things like not making her bed, not emptying the trash, and leaving the bathroom light on. Looking for solutions on how to deal with this so they don’t lose their sanity, the roommate asked for advice online.

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    A woman started giving her roommate fines for breaking the house rules

    Image credits: Kelly Sikkema (not the actual photo)

    The roommate thought this was ridiculous since they were fined for things like not making their bed and leaving the bathroom light on

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    Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Tasty_Contract5995

    A written agreement can sometimes solve a lot of misunderstandings among roommates

    What the OP is dealing with here is nothing particularly new. If you’ve ever had a roommate, you know that conflicts and fights about the household are almost inevitable. If the roommates are both renting from a landlord and the OP is not paying rent to “Ashley,” then they both have the same rights as tenants.

    The OP doesn’t go into detail, but mentions in one of their comments, that “Ashley” is not the landlord, but she has lived in that place for a long time. That’s why she might feel some superiority over OP, thinking she can give out “fines” and set house rules.

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    In reality, both roommates should sit down and discuss what the house rules should be. As people have different standards of cleanliness, it’s best to set a cleaning schedule. The same goes for other rules: visitors, quiet hours, going into each other’s rooms, and so on.

    According to Mental Health America, it’s best to write down all the rules and sign an agreement. A roommate agreement will hold both tenants accountable and should help if a roommate is slacking off on their duties.

    For some roommates, co-living can be as easy as breathing. Others, on the other hand, might need a little more planning and compromise for both tenants to feel comfortable. Home, after all, is where we’re supposed to be unwinding, not feeling stress constantly.

    Most people find it hard living with roommates and have many things to complain about

    Although it may be lonely, living on your own is great in one other regard: you don’t have to deal with ridiculous roommates. Yet many people know what it’s like to live with someone else, as even 4 in 5 Americans say they have lived with a roommate at some point in their lives.

    According to a survey conducted in December 2024 by Zillow, being annoyed with your roommate is nothing new, as well. 93% of the respondents said they have dealt with a roommate’s annoying habit, and the most popular vice was “not helping clean.”

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    Even when you’re living with roommates, you want time for yourself. Socializing is fun, but when they’re all up in your business, it can drive you crazy. And 31% of Americans agree, saying that “respect for personal space and boundaries” is the most valued quality when choosing a roommate.

    Is the friendly roommate just a work of fiction, then? It might seem so, as even the British co-living brand Ark has found in a 2023 survey that people really really hate to have roommates. 54% said they dislike it because of cleaning up after others, 41% hate putting up with their noise, 38% say roommates waste energy, and 29% complained that their roommates steal their food and take too long in the shower (24%).

    It’s not ideal to live with roommates who don’t clean up after themselves and don’t respect your personal boundaries. It’s also unpleasant when they come up with unreasonable rules. However, it doesn’t mean all roommates are bad; you might just be the unlucky renter.

    People in the comments had some petty and hilarious ideas about how the roommate should react: “Pay her in Monopoly money”

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    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    Read less »
    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    Shelly Fourer

    Shelly Fourer

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hey there! I'm Shelly, a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. When I'm not working, you'll often find me immersed in creativity, whether it's creating animations, 3D and traditional art, writing, or making music.I've been drawing since I was little, and my passion for visual storytelling really took off after I finished a 2-year Film Academy. It ignited my existing spark for bringing stories to life through visuals. Since then, I've been diving deeper into art and tech, always exploring new ways to tell compelling stories.

    Read less »

    Shelly Fourer

    Shelly Fourer

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Hey there! I'm Shelly, a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. When I'm not working, you'll often find me immersed in creativity, whether it's creating animations, 3D and traditional art, writing, or making music.I've been drawing since I was little, and my passion for visual storytelling really took off after I finished a 2-year Film Academy. It ignited my existing spark for bringing stories to life through visuals. Since then, I've been diving deeper into art and tech, always exploring new ways to tell compelling stories.

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    Bowtechie
    Community Member
    1 hour ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Roommate's an HOA Karen in the making. My response would be "point me to the contract in which I agreed to this. Oh, there isn't one? Then f**k off."

    MegDragon
    Community Member
    2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okayyy… BP just gave me a “subscribe” prompt box that didn’t have an X. I’m getting ticked off with this nonsense.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    9 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let them know. Send them a screenshot with your text. They can’t fix what they don’t know about.

    Load More Replies...
    Trillian
    Community Member
    9 minutes ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe you should ... talk? Nobody has the right to go into each other's rooms but there needs to be some consensus about shared areas. And I am wary of people calling themselves "not that messy" because in my experience, they usually ARE messy but don't even see it. Probably accounts for both parties here.

    Load More Comments
    Bowtechie
    Community Member
    1 hour ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Roommate's an HOA Karen in the making. My response would be "point me to the contract in which I agreed to this. Oh, there isn't one? Then f**k off."

    MegDragon
    Community Member
    2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okayyy… BP just gave me a “subscribe” prompt box that didn’t have an X. I’m getting ticked off with this nonsense.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    9 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let them know. Send them a screenshot with your text. They can’t fix what they don’t know about.

    Load More Replies...
    Trillian
    Community Member
    9 minutes ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe you should ... talk? Nobody has the right to go into each other's rooms but there needs to be some consensus about shared areas. And I am wary of people calling themselves "not that messy" because in my experience, they usually ARE messy but don't even see it. Probably accounts for both parties here.

    Load More Comments
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