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From singing in the rain to yearning for the “simpler” times of the 1950s, there are a whole lot of people out there who have a very flowery idea of things and time periods that just happen to have great public relations. So it’s sometimes for one’s own good to have your illusions shattered.

Someone asked “What’s something people romanticize but it’s actually horrible?” and people shared their most poignant examples. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your thoughts and experiences below.

#1

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Baby gender reveals. Just pretentious status and attention chasing that is unnecessary to be separate and additional to a baby shower.

c10bbersaurus , Tima Miroshnichenko / pexels Report

#2

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Traditional-looking religions like Amish and Old-School Mennonites. "Imagine living such a simple life! So family focused. So grounded in community. None of the distractions of modern life. "

And yeah. There are some benefits. But in reality most of these communities are incredibly controlling. Their members don't know how to live life in the real world, and this is leveraged against them by threatening to expel people from the community if they don't do what is expected. It is especially oppressive for women, who are expected to obey their husbands and their pastors, have lots of kids, and keep their mouths shut.

Source - my background is Holdeman Mennonite.

Logical-Pop-458 , Chris F / pexels Report

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keyboardtek
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having gone to Catholic parochial elementary school and knowing the signs of repressive controllers, I realized at a young age that all religions are repressive.

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#3

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Staying in a relationship "for the kids" totally ignoring the trauma those kids deal with seeing a toxic abusive relationship.

PhariseeHunter46 , RDNE Stock project / pexels Report

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Papa
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree that staying in a relationship for the sake of children is often a bad idea, but not wanting to put children through the trauma of divorce can motivate people to put in the work to save the marriage instead of giving up and walking away.

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#4

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back The Kardashians.

Strange-Catch6862 , Jimmy Kimmel Live Report

#5

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back The "bad boy" trope. There's this tendency for people to glorify dysfunction and romanticise an unhealthy imbalance of impulsiveness, aggression and emotional unavailability. But it's extremely toxic and unsalvageable.

reigndrops17 , Oleg Yeltsov / unsplash Report

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keyboardtek
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1 month ago

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#6

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Joker and Harley Quinn couple. I seen so many people think they were in love and not realizing that it was an abusive relationship.

Prestigious_Kale8839:
So much this. If you want a fictional couple to emulate, try Gomez and Morticia.

SilverWolfIMHP76 , Warner Bros. Pictures Report

#7

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Homeschooling your children.

Children are supposed to mix with other children.

Apple2727 , August de Richelieu / pexels Report

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cerinamroth
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Illegal in Germany because too open to being abused for ultra religious types/other oddballs to push specific agendas onto their kids.

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#8

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Fighting for someone's love.

Nah. No means no, there is no such thing as "hard to get".

Raigheb , Budgeron Bach / pexels Report

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#9

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back “Hustle” culture. The “I work so hard I’m making so much money” but what I see is you have no life and only feel worthy if you have money and material things.

theamazingloki , SEO Galaxy / unsplash Report

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Luke Branwen
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I work so hard, hustled so far... in the end, it doesn't even matter~

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#10

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Living in other eras throughout history (in particular medieval times), people who fantasise about this seem to think they would have been a wealthy lord or a noble knight rescuing hot maidens every week, when in reality 99% chance they would have been a poor, illiterate peasant working 16 hours a day just to feed themselves and their family before dying from diarrhea aged 40.

Accomplished-Kale-77 , Rene Terp / pexels Report

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cerinamroth
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, my mum romanticises things like Downton Abbey and I always have to say to her: You know we'd be the downstairs lot, right? And that being a servant was in no way as nice as they make it look on TV?!

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#11

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Open Marriage - Most guys want to open their marriage until their wife is getting unlimited offers and he sits at home alone watching porn. The wife never wanted to be open, but then his offer lets the genie out of the bottle and the trick is on him!

anon , Toa Heftiba / unsplash Report

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Miss_H84
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This remind of a story I read on BP some time ago (you probably remember it if you read it) about a man who wanted an open relationship and eventually his wife agreed but it didn't go as he had planned because she was getting so many dates, she didn't even know what to do with them all, meanwhile he tried it with a coworker and was reported to HR. He didn't want to be in an open relationship anymore but she was happy with the situation.

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#12

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Any sensationalized mental illness/learning disability. Depression, anxiety, autism, people are getting cute about schizophrenia now.

This isn't 'quirk'. It's lifelong.

ratskips , Claudia Wolff / unsplash Report

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Amelia Jade
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have OCD and I try really hard not to let it get to me when people treat it as a cute, quirky thing where they like things neat and organized. If they had any idea of the actual hell it is they wouldn't want anything to do with it. It can be all consuming. It can hurt relationships. It can keep you from being able to sleep, to make choices, or to even trust your own mind. Yeah, it's super cute.

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#13

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back War.

haver_of_friends:
My dad told me when I was younger that if I ever wanted to join the military, he’d make me watch Saving Private Ryan. Well, I never enlisted, so he never made me watch it, but I ended up watching it on my own for the first time last week at 25.
Bro, that seen where the German slowly stabs Pvt Mellish in the heart while Upham cries in the stairwell, had to be the most disturbing and emotionally upsetting depiction of war that I’ve seen so far in my life. And to think that people glamorize that lifestyle baffles me.

sammyasher , Vony Razom / unsplash Report

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K- THULU
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As the first male in my father's family not to fight in a war i hate how it is romanticised...... it wasn't glamorous when my father liberated Bergen death camp in WW2, nor when my grandfather fought at the Somme in WW1...... it's not noble, it's not heroic..... you kill.... you kill and kill till there's not enough of the enemy to fight back...... in the end, my father was fighting children.... kids in the Hitler youth who could barely hold a gun..... nothing heroic in that.....

Der Kommissar
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If someone is shooting at you, it doesn't matter if they're 14 or 44. You try to shoot them first.

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James Anthony
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The people that romanticize it are the kind of people that don't participate in it.

Bookworm
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is going to sound off-topic, but bear with me: This is one of the reasons I wish they'd bring the Animorphs books back into print. It's a fun sci-fi adventure story for 8-12-year-olds that gradually peels back the layers to reveal a narrative that comes to the ultimate and inevitable conclusion that there are no winners in war; the victors end up as broken as the victims, and the only way to defeat the enemy, in the end, despite every effort to the contrary, is to become them. The author said it herself in her post about the criticism she got for the ending: this is war. If you don't like it - pretty soon you'll be old enough to vote. Remember this when you make your decisions.

pat manna
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i had a brother before he went to Viet Nam, the guy who came back was not him. 21 yrs old after 3 yrs in the army, 9 months in Nam. he was a broken man

Auntriarch
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Before my grandad went to the war he was very gentle and hardly drank. When he came back he got hammered every weekend and beat my Nan. He did calm down a bit after a couple of decades, but I still remember waking up to him shouting and her screaming downstairs when he got back from the pub. My mum still doesn't know that I heard that.

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Queen Mab
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father was wounded badly on Okinawa. He survived (or i wouldnt be here). As far as i know nobody has ever had the nerve to glamorize that battle.

Ranger Kanootsen says GOODBYE!
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wanted to join the military as a kid because I wanted to die and kept chickening out of suicide

john doe
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

War is way worse than any movie can depict, they do a good job but the sheer terror of a round cracking past your head can't be translated it's awful, the crazy part is that some people start to like the thrill and that's why wars keep happening.

John Nelson
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was in the theater to see this movie, and was seated behind an elderly couple. He had landed in the first wave on Omaha Beach. His wife was crying unconsolably. She knew he had been through a lot, but this was the first time seeing just what it had been like. He spent the whole movie trying to console her, and offered to leave, but as upset as she was, she insisted on seeing the whole movie to better understand what he had been through.

Anthorn
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've written several short stories about war, and none of them are glamorized. One was a sort of...fiction? It followed the ghosts of several people who died in WW2. It was mostly about how they all hated everyone or themselves in one way or another. It's a pretty sad book, one of my darker ones. There was a girl who died in the Hiroshima bombing, a Nazi soldier who drowned, a Russian woman who was trafficked, and a kid from America who'd essentially been forced into the war. After writing that, I couldn't understand how anyone could romanticize war.

Caramello
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The scene that still haunts me years later is the part where the soldier is carrying around his now completed severed arm with his other hand because he doesn't know what to do with it and is too scared/confused to fully comprehend what is going on around him.

der sebbl
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ohhh f**k yes. I had that scene immediately before my inner eye when you described it. That movie is so important in my opinion to give people a slight idea how f****d up war is

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Beak Hookage
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"As long as war is looked upon as wicked, it will always hold a certain attraction. As soon as it is looked upon as vulgar, it will lose its appeal."

Brian Droste
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, when I was younger,I watched some old, probably not that old at the time, but John Wayne WW2 movies and how they were glorified to some extent. To a certain extent I wanted to join the military. But as I got older I realizes war was not the glory or what it would be. So I never joined.

BSellen
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That part of the movie I always have to fast forward. Can't handle it.

Nikki Gross
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I come from a HUGE Military Family and I'm proud as hell of ALL of them, but I've also lost 5 members to PTSD. WWII, Vietnam and Iraq/Afghanistan, so I know firsthand the consequences of what they faced. It doesn't matter what my personal opinions are about the Military, because as long as my Family serves they will have my 100% undying support. They are busting their asses and risking their lives, I don't want ANY of them to think, question or doubt for one second, that I will ALWAYS LOVE, be behind and stand up for them.

Remi (He/Him)
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friends daughter enlisted. There's a mandatory half year service for guys here, but not women, but they live so close to Russia that you can see across the border from the highway closeby. She was just worried that if the worst happens she wouldn't be able to defend their home.

Ella
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those people who romanticize war, did not experience the same. They don't know what it's like to live under siege, without the basic conditions for life, food, electricity, for 4 years....while husbands, brothers, sons are sent to the trenches on the front lines of the city's defense. When it is normal for someone to be killed by a sniper or grenade launcher before your eyes. I mean civilians. There was nothing to romanticize, believe me.

Kelly Burk
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree! And while he's saying shhh, shhhh. and then stabs him.

Kalevra
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

War is an inevitable as humans as we stand right now and have in the past. We are selfish parasites and without a quantum shift in our thought processes we will never be anything more than a common virus. Just look at how hostile we get about politics. We really fighting over which c**p politician gets to sit in a chair every four years? Wake me when the nukes drop.

BrunoVI
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've known plenty of soldiers, from WW2 and Vietnam draftees to Gulf-War era enlistees, and if anyone thinks that anyone looks forward to war, they are a Hollywood-brainwashed f*****g clueless idiot. (Psyching yourself up is not the same as loving war.) Alice's Restaurant is satire, knuckleheads.

KillerKiwi
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My two favorite quotes about war are: “Well he died for his country, and he died for his kin, and he died killin’ men, a most honorable sin.” Murder is frowned upon, right? But it’s an ‘honorable sin’ bc they praise you for it. The second one is “not the dead have seen the end of war.” It never stops.

Lena Flising
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who, except perhaps young boys, romanticize war? It's all about which side kills the most people. Pretty far from romantic.

Namea
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My brother fought and was wounded in Afghanistan. He says the things that soldiers are taught and the things he was forced to do and see as an 18 year old kid should never be glorified.

WonderWoman
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who actually romanticizes this????? Did the author not read the prompt??

Donna Peluda
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got lucky, I was going to join the army (British) when I was in my teens. Luckily I had a massive argument with my parents and left home at 16. I had a summer job at the time and I got and extra evening job working in a disco pub. I rented a room from the DJ who had fourght in the Falklands. I could tell something was wrong with him so he soon talked me out of it. After his training he had been sent to Northern Ireland at the time when young British soldiers were being picked of by the IRA including some of his mates that had their brains blow out. Then off to the Falklands. Irony has it that now I know several Argentinians who are Malvinas veterans. We do asados together at a beach bar.

laura lee
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ought not to glamorize war, but having a national defense is necessary and it does help those with certain tendencies to use them in a positive way through sublimation

Jilly
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A friend of mine brought his uncle, that was a ww2 , vet to see it at the theaters. He had to leave bc it was so realistic and horrifying.

Heather Atwood
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lots of people want to defend their countries DESPITE the drawbacks because they like their freedom, and I for one am SO GRATEFUL!!!

der sebbl
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Defending your country if necessary if different from glorifying war, you know that, right?

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#14

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back When a community bands together to help someone out with their medical bills, or workers donate vacation days so a colleague can take time to recover from illness. Nice that they’re doing it, and appalling that they should have to.

spudzilla:
Even worse are the stories of kids running lemonade stands or mowing lawns to help raise money. Child labor! Yay, America!

bshaddo , Liza Summer / pexels Report

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#15

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Constantly being the bigger person to a person who continually disrespects you. It is like slowly drinking poison, it changes your heart for the worse.

plaincoldtofu:
Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Either your soul dies slowly as you try to act as the adult to someone who is emotionally a toddler, or you spend your time punching back like you’re getting bullied on a school yard. It seems best to just get out of the situation once you realize the dynamic.

Purple_Love_797 , Vitaly Gariev / unsplash Report

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Trillian
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's also the wrong way to deal with this. Actions need to have consequences. If you always let it slide, you are actually encouraging this behavior (by removing negative consequences).

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#16

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Stalking, “he likes you, isn’t that sweet?” No it’s not. It’s incredibly creepy and terrifying to have someone watch your every move. 

Hinky-punk , Jacky Chiu / unsplash Report

#17

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Grand public proposals.

Sheilahasaname:
My ex did this. It was so humiliating, terrifying, and traumatising. He essentially coerced me out of a plane by buying me a skydiving ticket. I'm terrified of heights. Some stuff went wrong and by the time I ended up back at the sight, he had a big sign laid out and hundreds of people watching. I was crying, but not because I was happy.

isthatabingo:
It isn’t bad if they’ve discussed it ahead of time and the one being proposed to has said they are ok with a public proposal. Anyone who proposes to someone without discussing it before hand is stupid imo, and doing it in public not only embarrasses their significant other, but themselves.

Huge-Income3313 , Dylan Sauerwein / unsplash Report

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Enuya
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a big NO for me and I'm very vocal about it. I'd refuse public proposal on principle, even if I'd agree under any other circumstances. It's manipulative as hell, putting presure on another person and "forcing" them to say yes

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#18

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back I'd say the mob. It's interesting and people talk about the loyalty and "secret society" cool ness of it.
But the reality is most of them were a bunch of greedy sociopaths.

not_today_mr:
The mob and gang life in general. Don't people know how dangerous it is in the first place to them and their friends and family.

RipAgile1088 , HBO Entertainment Report

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RAM31280
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've got an "italian american" friend who loves mob movies, his father knew people with mob ties, but he's 3rd generation american, while me, a 1st generation "italian american", just call myself american don't like mob movies, and think they are overrated.

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#19

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Criminals of any kind through pop culture.

rawr_Im_a_duck:
There’s a whole community of mostly teenage girls who have full on crushes and obsessions with school shooters. Supposedly a lot of them receive “fan mail”.

anon , Hédi Benyounes / unsplash Report

#20

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back The alpha male creedo. The only people who enjoy alpha males are other alpha males.

despenser412 , Krizalid Daza / pexels Report

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keyboardtek
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is because they are stuck in the high school locker room, football team competition mentality all their lives.

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#21

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back "I would love to just own and operate a little bar/restaurant/cafe/bakery/tavern and make enough to get by in a little town"

-this is exclusively stated by people who have NEVER worked in a bar/restaurant/cafe/bakery/tavern, and almost certainly not a little one in a little town.

The most failing businesses on the planet are hospitality + F&B for a reason.

Ripfengor , Anna Tukhfatullina Food Photographer/Stylist / pexels Report

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Mike F
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not to mention the fact that you can kiss your life goodbye since it becomes your life.

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#22

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back S*x on the beach. Sand's gets everywhere!!!

ninazo96:
I don't like shower sex either. Friction is not fun for the lady bits.

Jumping-shadow , Clem Onojeghuo / pexels Report

#23

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Being a woman in the 1950s. It’s been romanticized by the trad wives, but it was a boring existence for too many. Once a month card club was the big highlight.

MamaLeet , hello aesthe / pexels Report

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#24

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Possessiveness and overprotectiveness. It's restricting, not cute.

theemmyk:

I always thought jealousy from a man would be so romantic until I actually experienced it. It was so unattractive. I guess it's the insecurity that is a turn-off...?

Gloomy_Delay536 , Timur Weber / pexels Report

#25

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Cruises. Overcrowded pools, long lines everywhere you go, motion sickness, the restroom in my cabin smelled like p**s for some reason, the cabin was so tiny I got claustrophobic, Thalassaphobia of being out in the middle of the ocean where if you fell no one would see you again, ports were usually packed with people trying to scam you because you're a tourist, and to top it all off my son and I were stricken by norovirus and then covid on our last day.

My husband wants to go on another cruise and I told him I'm not coming.

IDONTKNOWPICKLES , Pixabay / pexels Report

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#26

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back **Gender Reveal**

**Public Proposal**

**Vloggers or anyone filming certain people (especially servers) without asking permission**

**Social Experiment** - especially one that requires helping others.

Fancy_Ask_2767 , Blue Bird / pexels Report

#27

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back This is going to be a hot-take so fair warning.

The whole "living off the grid" life style or the whole "F society, I'm going to live in the woods" mentality.

It is very freaking hard to do in order to maintain said life style and to survive in general.

Cheetodude625 , Josh Hild / pexels Report

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cerinamroth
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We were self-sufficient but didn't live "off grid". It was a very hard life, yet loads of people say "Oh, how idyllic". No, it absolutely wasn't.

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#28

When a male student gets groomed or R-worded by a female teacher and you get people saying that he's lucky and they wish it happened to them and stuff. I've always found that incredibly disturbing.

Mayonaise_Best_Sauce Report

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Susie Elle
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same. We perceive adult women as less threatening than adult men, and we see young girls as more vulnerable than young men.

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#29

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Working a "brag worthy" amount of hours a week, particularly if one is salary. No one is impressed, and perpetuating that as a standard is evil.

-Dixieflatline , Mohammad Rahmani / unsplash Report

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Ladedah
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dunno. I think the definition of "brag-worthy" should be clarified. I only work 24 hours a week and get a decent amount of money for it. Sorry, but - Hell yes - I'm going to brag about only working two days a week. This should seriously be the standard to which people strive.

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#30

Alcoholism. Every single manly movie whether it be a western, a spy movie, a period piece, etc. always has the protagonist sipping on something strong. Plot armor gives characters incredible tolerance the likes of which should send them begging for a toilet to expel their liquor sh**s or puke. There’s nothing glorious about being an alcoholic.

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#31

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Freaking ADHD/ADD. It takes me twice as long to get something done compared to my peers. From the moment I wake up, I have a song stuck in a loop in my head - alongside like 50 other tabs. I’ve had crying fits at work due to rejection sensitive dysphoria, or fire alarms going off unexpectedly. My ability to retain information regarding something I’m not genuinely interested in is nigh. I have to remind myself not to bounce, fidget, or get up from my chair every 5-10 minutes. I have to ask people what they’re saying multiple times due to auditory processing. I struggle to see projects through because my brain branches out to other connections or topics. Etc.
It can be so hard to manage, especially if you didn’t learn how to work with it before you’re navigating the world alone, as an adult.

Beautiful-Tree-91 , Ketut Subiyanto / pexels Report

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Susie Elle
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never been diagnosed, but I recognize SO many things. Especially the freaking songs stuck on loop and the absolutely crippling disinterest that sets in when I have to focus on something I don't like. Holy s**t. I'm no longer in school but I had to attend a webinar yesterday and I could not - for the life of me - register nor understand what was on the presenter's sliders at all. Like, at all. I had to read it five times because my eyes skip over the words like a pingpongball thrown in a fishbowl and I can't listen and read at the same time. I'll sink away in an internal dialogue over something irrelevant (i.e. "if famous youtuber so and so were to invite me to a livestream and they'd ask me this niche question, here's the elaborate answer I'd give") Anyway thanks for attending my Tedtalk

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#32

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Pregnancy and childbirth. Some parts are great but holy S**T.

napalmnacey , Alexander Grey / unsplash Report

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GettingCereal
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Big wtf moment: someone once said to me women shouldn't know too much about the in part lasting negative impact a pregnancy can and very often does have, because then they'd stop having babies.

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#33

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Being stuck in the past in the name of custom, ritual and culture.

Key-Quit-4709 , Xiaoyu Chen / pexels Report

#34

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Eating Disorders (specifically restrictive ones where a person is thin).


Not fun. -100000/10. It’s a mental illness not “self control goals”.

fluffycooki3_monster , Markus Spiske / pexels Report

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keyboardtek
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Food corporations make zillions off people with eating disorders. They have no incentive to change. They hire chemists who figure out how to make foods more addictive.

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#35

Chronic illness.

Been seeing so many more people on social media thinking they have certain conditions. Like it's almost become trendy to say "oh I think I have Ehlers Danlos and POTS hehee"

I don't know why people think just because you are bendy or double jointed, or have one small weird thing wrong.. that you want to join the club of chronic illness. It's not fun, or cute, or trendy.

Those of us who do have it struggle. Hard. Are gaslit by doctors. Are sick of feeling broken. Are hurting. And want people to take us seriously but now every time I mention my actual diagnosis' to a medical professional (diagnosed YEARS ago) they ask me "do you think you have this because you saw it on tiktok?"

It's frustrating.

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whineygingercat
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You think that's bad? Try chronic pain pretenders. Because of them and d**g seekers, I have to bend over backwards, while jumping through burning hoops to convince a doctor that I truly need these medications. That I'm really in pain. All. The. Time.

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#36

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Smoking cigarettes. I’m not hating on anyone who does, i vape myself, but its entirely hypocritical to see people who dont smoke praising/romanticizing celebs like Lana Del Rey for smoking while she’s singing during her concert & then go and berate someone regular for it because all of a sudden it’s gross when they’re not famous or hot.

In general, its not a good habit and shouldn’t be romanticized, even with celebrities.

mearbearcate , Elvert Barnes / flickr Report

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BookFanatic
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, both my folks were heavy smokers. Now I have chronic bronchitis, asthma, and a restrictive lung disease. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

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#37

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back The Mafia. They are just low life scumbags. No, they don't have a code of honor, they have been ratting each other out since the beginning. No, they never had rules against selling d***s, they have been selling them since the 20s. No, they don't live glamorous lives, even the high ups, for the most part, live ordinary lives. Nothing that is portrayed in the movies is correct.

lespaulstrat2 , Katherine Bowers / pexels Report

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Colby DeYoung
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe correct for the most part, but you can't say the Teflon Don John Gotti lived an "ordinary" life.

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#38

Disney World.

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#39

Romeo and Juliet. If Shakespeare were alive now, he’d be horrified at how his cautionary tale has been twisted.

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whineygingercat
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People make it out to be some great love story. It was a 3-day FLING, by 2 teenagers that resulted in 6 deaths.

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#40

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Working in the film industry.

adknight11:
One of my good friends worked as a Production Assistant for years down in Atlanta and I couldn’t believe how crazy her schedule was. On top of that, the story she has of some film stars who were absolutely horrid to work with. She’s happily staying at home with her baby boy now.

Lupinyonder , Benjamin Wedemeyer / unsplash Report

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Der Kommissar
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

PA is the entry level job in the film biz. You are a "go-fer", and at the mercy of everyone on the set. Most film people on the set feel they're entitled, and enjoy torturing PAs as sport.

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#41

Living in your car. It's not fun, there are very few places to park, it can be brutally hot or cold, and you don't usually have access to proper showers. 

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#42

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Moving away to a big city. That 2 hour commute to work is not cute and glamorous.

saintscoob , Denys Nevozhai / unsplash Report

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Enuya
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It depends from a person. I absolutely hated living in my small hometown and am far happier since I moved to a big city. I love the sense of anonymity and having a choice (many cultural events, places to visit, shops, health clinics and so on). I'd never return to my hometown OR any other small, close-knit community. Though to be fair my city has a great public transport and I live relatively close to the center. I'd likely hate having to commute from the very outskirts.

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#43

New Years Eve.

F*****g hate it. It's always disappointing.

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keyboardtek
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was a musician for ten years. New Years eve was always the worst night to play. So many drunks and people who only drink one day a year. Rude crowds, bad night club owners, bad drivers on the road afterwards.

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#44

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Small towns are nice to visit but suffocating to live in.

Smart-Fold7327:
I grew up in a very small town, and it's impacted my growth. The lack of jobs, activities, and essential resources (such as good schools and hospitals) is horrible. I finally was able to move from my hometown, and while I enjoy it, it's been an adjustment. I realized I lack a lot of social skills, technological skills, and even driving skills because the area I grew up in is so isolated.

PaintedLady5519 , Sander Weeteling / unsplash Report

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Yayheterogeneity
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that's very much America where the distances are so great. Of course we have some very isolated towns in EU as well but mostly it takes you about 30 minutes by car to the next bigger town here where you have access to higher education, etc. I live in the Eifel which is by comparison quite remote but still... The next "good" university is 45 minutes away.

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#45

Moving to Los Angeles.

It’s expensive, crowded, and dirty. Also good luck competing with everyone else there for opportunities.

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#46

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Climbing the corporate ladder.

anonymous:
Just to be on the chopping block when times get tough.

csward53 , Resume Genius / unsplash Report

#47

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Being backstage at a gig. Take it from a seasoned “band wife” it’s boring, sweaty, and cramped. (Even in bigger stadiums) Loads of waiting around while they do soundchecks and media. The only good thing is the free booze. It’s not all sex, d***s and rock n roll. At all.

Lollypop1305 , Harrison Haines / pexels Report

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Diolla
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That may be true but backstage can be fun, especially at festivals, where artists meet and f*ck around. Also being able to see shows from side stage and have quick access to clean toilets.

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#48

Pirates!🏴‍☠️

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cerinamroth
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True. I knew someone who was kidnapped with his wife by pirates off the coast of the Philippines and held hostage for a month. It was nowhere near fun. Thankfully they both made it out of there, but they never wanted to sail again and it had been their biggest shared passion.

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#49

Being a chef in a restaurant.

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Bookworm
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm reminded of the tumblr post that pops up now and then, that reads in part: If I'm hiring you to cook, my expectation is that you only went to a little bit of jail.

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#51

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back 100yo+ vampire wooing a teenager

If you have been alive longer than 19 years, don't date teenagers.

IJustTiah-1805:
This will never not be creepy.

Suitable_cataclysm , cottonbro studio / pexels Report

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Rodney McKay
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm pretty old, but I still remember teenagers and sure as hell wouldn't want to date one or be one again. It's the most overrated period of life, and I say that as someone who actually enjoyed high school.

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#52

Be a struggling artist. Being poor and have mental health issues aren’t easier just because you’re creative.

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#53

Medieval Royalty.


The fantasy: gowns and lace, beautiful young princesses in chiffon dresses, castles, knights in shining armor.

The reality: brutal mafiosos who lived by murdering anyone who stood in their way, including each other, deadly disease, torture, intensely stupid, illiterate, people whose brains had rotted for lack of use, freezing stone fortifications built to protect the royalty from their own peasants, bandits and casual murder, most women having 6-8 children if they didn't die in childbirth, constant holy wars.

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whineygingercat
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let's not forget the horrifying lack of personal hygiene standards and vomit-inducing 'beauty/health' treatments...

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#54

Cheating. Yes people do romanticize cheating.

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robin aldrich
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of celebrity couples are romanticized.... cuz "oh that's love".... well except what is left out is each of them were with someone else ( they supposedly loved, ruined those relationships but now they're together and isn't that love? No, they were cheating

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#55

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back True crime.

alotlikechris , Sebastian Pandelache / unsplash Report

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Illifred
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I won't say True Crime isn't interesting but "romanticizing it" in a way to write love letters to the Menendez brothers? Hell no. That is what we call hybristophilia.

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#56

“What’s Something People Romanticize But It’s Actually Horrible?”: 50 People Don’t Hold Back Whirlwind romances.

If it’s too good to be true, it really is too good to be true.

doughaway7562:
Took me a bad heartbreak to realize that "crazy chemistry" and "I feel like I know you from a past life" are really just trauma responses :/

thesuezcanal , Jonathan Borba / unsplash Report

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Yayheterogeneity
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nah, I don't agree. My dream really came true. But yes, proceed with caution.

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#57

Living in a cabin in the mountains. 90% of people would tap out after the first snow storm that buries the front door and having no power/utilities/service/internet.

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Fire Singer
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of my toxic traits is watching Alone and thinking... I could do that so much better than these people! As I sit on my couch in my climate controlled home surrounded by snacks, water, and pets.

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#58

Leave someone at the altar and run away to go be with your "real love".

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#59

Moving to NYC to live your dreams.

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#60

Individualism. We are wired to thrive in connection and asking for help is oftentimes not received as well as it should be.

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keyboardtek
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Conservatives are always harping about individualism and individual responsibility. But then they all join church groups, political parties, and militias to be around people who think exactly like themselves.

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#61

Being a college professor. It sounds awesome until you realize all the "service to the institution" tasks you need to do. The fun part of helping young minds and doing research is always on the backburner.

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robin aldrich
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And doesn't everyone try to work for tenure, and then something happens and they don't necessarily get it?

#62

Toxic relationships

In my area I see cars with stickers saying s**t like "she's toxic, but she's mine" or something.

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Mike F
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where does this person live? I'm 67 and I've never seen anything like that.

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#63

Sleeping around & hook up culture.

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Come on... while it's not for me, don't shame people who are having (safe) fun

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#64

Those "6 generations in one photo" photos.

There are usually multiple teen pregnancies. Nothing amazing about that.

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BookFanatic
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So what? My parents and grandparents died young. I'd kill to have a photo like that.

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#65

Open floor plans.

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad is a chef (retired now) and my mom is sensitive to smell. You can guess how that went with an open floor plan

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#66

Going to any Italian glamours destination (Lake Como, Venice, Rome, Cinque Terre, Amalfi etc) in June/July… you cannot even walk around.

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Ricardo
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, going to any destination in high season is synonymous with high prices, a lot of people and generally a lot of heat. Just avoid. Italy is wonderful!

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#67

Communism. While it's cool and trendy to bash capitalism (yes it's flawed, but so are humans), there are millions and millions *and millions and millions* of dead Russians, Vietnamese, and Cambodians killed by their own communist governments that should be allowed to enter the chat when it comes to answering idiots that say communism is the answer. It's truly horrible that such established facts are swept under the rug.

As long as humans are involved, there are going to be problems with any system, but those flaws are magnified and allowed to run unchecked under a communist system.

Let's not forget that Marx was a complete failure as a human, a husband, and also as a father. Not exactly a person whose example and philosophy should be followed.

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Geoffrey Scott
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Europeans seem to have the best answer (US point of view). Yes, there is a comprehensive safety net that EVERYONE pays for. No, the "State" does not control the means and methods of producing. Of course those who run those companies are aware that if your people struggle, they can't be focused on your success. Yes, in a sense it is Socialism, but no, it's not communism.

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#68

Addiction, people think it’s like how you see it in the movies, it’s really not.

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#69

Paris.

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Ricardo
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Along with Rio de Janeiro, the most beautiful city in the world. I don't understand who speaks badly about Paris, with its museums, cafes and excellent food... I could come back a thousand times...

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#70

Really sus age gaps. I don't care if you waited until she was 18, you are still 15 years older, you f*****g lecher.

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Miryaa
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandparents had that age gap. She fell in love with him at age 10. He refused her constantly until she was 15. They got married a year later. Had my mom three years later, and met me 35 years later! They were so in love. For 50 years. She died first. He only lasted 4 years without her. I miss them so much.

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#71

*Really* old couples.

Maybe it’s sweet and they’ve always been in love OR maybe he was an abusive piece of s**t and grandma couldn’t get a job or bank account to support herself.

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