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118 Rock Puns To Wipe That Stoney Face Away

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Rocks - the blandest pets on Earth. The forever-pain for your open-toed sandal-clad footsies. Even worse, if there’s one stuck somewhere between your tights, woolen socks, and those winter shoes that you know you’ll start sweating by trying to pull off. Besides being a nuisance, rocks can also be mesmerizingly beautiful, but those are more likely to be ‘Jesus, Marie, those are minerals, not rocks!’ as one famous TV series character has said.

As with everything in life that’s both beautiful, a nuisance, and an essential part of our livelihood, rocks, too, deserve their fair share of puns. Oh yeah, this is a rock-solid list of rock puns that will come at you like a boulder heavy with laughter, rolling down uncontrollably and forcefully for your entertainment.

No slab has been left unturned searching for these cute rock puns, and no pile of rubble unscavenged for that one golden nugget that might be of interest to you. It’s a celebration for geologists and certified bashing material for rock haters. No matter which side you’re on, there’s no chance that you are simply indifferent to pebbles, cobblestones, or shiny, twinkly minerals.

Speaking of, if laughter is the best medicine and minerals have healing powers, then this combo of hilarious puns might make this article into some magical potion to be witnessed by eyes and absorbed by the gray matter in your skull.

Anyhoo, enough of pushing the same pile of gravel back and forth, and let’s give in to rock puns, shall we? So check out these stone puns on quarries and gravel, vote for the most hilarious or adorable ones, and don’t forget to show this article to anyone sharing your interest in rocks!

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

What did the one volcano say to the other volcano?

"Hey, do you want to be my lava?"

18points

DUN DUN (she/her) 2 years ago

Lava is also a Disney song and it's so wonderful!

2points

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#2

Be patient with geologists — they all have their faults.

17points

Mistralok 2 years ago

This cracks me up. :)

3points

#3

Geologists love music, but their playlists get boring — they’re only rock and roll.

14points

Evil Hornet 2 years ago

You can never get bored of classic Rock&Roll ^^

1point

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The History of Puns

Oh yes, there’s a history to genius puns, too! Although they might seem like a thing that happened spontaneously, in fact, it was the master of the pen, William Shakespeare, who came up with puns first.

Sure, the very first puns weren’t puns about rocks - they weren’t that important to Mister Shakespeare - but they definitely were funny. Take, for instance, this one from Romeo and Juliet when dying Mercutio says, "Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man." Pretty cool, right?

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It seems that readers found these quips quite delightful and the writers favorited them for being, well, fun to write, and thus puns became a prominent literary expression, used by almost all of the great writers of our age.

#4

Did you hear about the drunk geologist?

He finally hit rock bottom.

14points

#5

A geologist’s favorite restaurant is the Hard Rock Cafe.

14points

Mistralok 2 years ago

See, I told you.

2points

#6

Why did the volcano sit around all day instead of getting a job?

He was an inactive volcano.

14points

Evil Hornet 2 years ago

Nice one! :D

1point

Types of Puns

That’s right, puns have types! And we don’t mean like rock climbing puns for rock climbing enthusiasts or feline-related quips for kitten-obsessed people (aren’t we all kitten-obsessed?). Rather, types of puns are as follows:

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Homophonic - puns that use pairs of words that sound similar but are not synonyms;
Homographic - puns that use words with similar spelling but different meanings;
Homonymic - a synergy of homophonic and homographic puns;
Compounded - a pun that uses several puns in its formulation;
Recursive - here, the second aspect of a pun relies on the understanding of an element in the first;
Visual - this is where words are replaced by images. They’re often used in various logos.

And that’s not all! You also have puns that can be called paronomastic or metonymic (we found it hard to even spell the names!), and even puns that are so complex they haven’t been categorized even by scholars. Yup, there are scholars who devote their lives to researching puns! Maybe it’s something you’d want to do?

#7

Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be recent.

14points

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#8

The two tectonic plates just couldn’t keep up the relationship anymore – said there was too much friction between them.

13points

Walbert Einstein 2 years ago

They then decided to drift apart

1point

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#9

Which rock group is made up of four men who can’t sing?

Mount Rushmore.

13points

Examples of Rock Puns

Of course, you’ll find plenty of rock pun examples on this list, but you might never come to think about the way they are constructed. So, each funny rock pun usually plays with the fact of a stone’s hardness (literally) or anchors itself to the names of various stones and minerals. The latter one is by far the most prominent because, with thousands upon thousands of rock varieties, you’re sure to find perfect names for homophonic puns.

Speaking of names - rock puns are also quite excellent for creating rock pun names. Chalk Norris is by far our most favorite one!

And lastly, although rocks aren’t usually in the middle of the action, being inanimate objects or whatnot, they sure get the spotlight when we talk about funny rock climbing puns. Then, every kind of pebble becomes a rock star and a pain in every rock climber’s shoe! But hey, at least that’s where rocks get a place to shine!

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#10

Why isn’t it safe for a rock to marry a piece of paper?

Because paper beats rock.

13points

Vic 2 years ago

It is safe to marry.. its just not safe to stay married..

2points

#11

Why did the rock go to jail?

The quartz found him guilty.

13points

#12

Why can’t minerals ever lie?

They’re always in their pure form.

13points

#13

"I’m going to look for gems this weekend, and I may need your assi-stones."

12points

Evil Hornet 2 years ago

sound way more kinky than it should

0points

#14

The new geology teacher hasn’t had it easy — he got off to a rocky start.

12points

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#15

Sherrock Holmes’ famous line is: “Sedimentary, my dear Watstone.”

12points

#16

A geologist’s favorite drink is anything on the rocks.

12points

#17

You didn’t think these were good puns?

Of quartz they were!

12points

#18

What did the stone say when he ended up at the bottom of the hill?

That’s how I roll.

12points

#19

What is a geologist’s favorite type of music?

Hard rock.

12points

#20

How was the rock and the stone’s relationship at first?

Solid.

12points

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#21

What do you call a rock that never goes to school?

A skipping stone!

12points

#22

How did the geology student drown?

His grades were below C-level.

12points

#23

This book about rocks is a fascinating pebble-cation.

11points

#24

It takes a boulder person to read through this list of puns.

11points

Evil Hornet 2 years ago

...or a Bored Panda

0points

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#25

"I liked carbon before it was coal."

11points

Evil Hornet 2 years ago

My favorite so far :D

0points

#26

"I’m getting really sick and tired of always getting called to school because the only types of rock my son knows are punk, classic, and heavy metal."

11points

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#27

Why is it hard to be a diamond?

Too much pressure.

11points

#28

Who is a geologist’s favorite comedian?

Chris Rock.

11points

#29

Who is a geologist’s favorite actor?

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson.

11points

#30

What is a geologist’s favorite treat?

Rock candy.

11points

Mistralok 2 years ago

Mine is Rock Lobster.

0points

#31

What do geologists do when they find an empty cup?

Phyllite.

11points

Evil Hornet 2 years ago

Phyllite with whiskey on rocks

0points

#32

Where do geologists study?

At sedimentary school.

11points

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#33

What do lazy rocks do?

Sit around all day getting stoned.

11points

#34

How did the rock feel about going to jail?

He was petrified.

11points

#35

What did the one volcano say to the other volcano?

Nice ash!

11points

#36

Did you hear about the rock dating the stone?

It was not just a plutonic relationship.

11points

#37

Kiss a geologist and feel the earthquake.

11points

#38

Why did the tectonic plates break up?

It wasn’t her fault, but there was too much friction between them.

11points

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#39

Who is a geologist’s favorite band?

The Rolling Stones.

11points

#40

What di the metamorphic rock say during the test?

This is too much pressure.

11points

#41

Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.

Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.

11points

Evil Hornet 2 years ago

Sooooo dark and funny at the end :D

0points

#42

You want to hear the best rock puns?

Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.

11points

#43

A geologist’s favorite fruit is the pome-granite.

10points

#44

"I want to make an impact on the world — I do things for the crater good of humanity."

10points

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#45

There’s no halfway with a geologist — it’s all ore nothing.

10points

#46

Did you see the geologist towing a crate of rocks behind his car?

He had a wide lode sign.

10points

#47

"I’ll never take you for granite."

10points

J Baker 2 years ago

See, every geologist and middle-school science teacher knows the real expression is, "Never take schist for granite!" I'm amazed it isn't on this list!

0points

#48

That rock was magma before it was cool, know what I mean?

10points

#49

Oh, you were looking for rock jokes?

Let’s see what we can dig up.

10points

#50

So let's start with a clean slate.

10points

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#51

Let’s rock and roll!

10points

#52

Geology rocks, but Geography is where it's at.

10points

#53

Taking about rock puns slowly eroded what was once a good friendship.

10points

#54

You must remember to keep your coal.

10points

#55

Why did the rock sleep all day?

He was a bedrock.

10points

#56

What did the vampire say to the geologist?

Albite.

10points

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#57

Why don’t geologists argue?

They’re too pelite.

10points

#58

Why did the quartz find the rock guilty?

They had concrete evidence.

10points

#59

Why did the rock and the stone break up?

The trust in their relationship eroded.

10points

#60

Why couldn’t the rock and stone keep dating without trust?

It was the bedrock of their relationship.

10points

#61

Geologists dig Mother Earth.

10points

#62

Geologists don’t wrinkle, they show lineation!

10points

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#63

How do geologists like to relax?

In rocking chairs, of course!

10points

#64

What do you call a can of soda found in a conglomerate?

Coca-Cola Clastic.

10points

#65

"My rock collection has so much sedimental value."

9points

#66

"I may be obsessed with rocks, but that’s my pre-rock-ative."

9points

#67

The geologist was found guilty in a quartz of law.

9points

#68

"I lava you so much!"

9points

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#69

"I’m not really hungry — I’ve lost my apatite."

9points

#70

"I think my career as a geologist is really on the rocks."

9points

#71

Why did the rock shower every morning?

He wanted to start with a clean slate.

9points

#72

What does the water in a geologist’s cup do?

Evaporite.

9points

#73

What do hipsters think of carbon?

They liked it before it was coal.

9points

#74

Why did the hipster like the rock?

It was magma before it was cool.

9points

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#75

When they started dating, what did the rock say to the stone?

We’re going rock steady.

9points

#76

Why didn’t the stone get back together with the rock?

He had too many faults.

9points

#77

"My rocks are gneiss, don’t take them for granite."

9points

#78

This foundation is rock salad.

9points

#79

Geologists can be very sedimental.

9points

#80

Why was the geologist expelled from Reform School?

He was a dirty layer!

9points

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#81

Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt, and yttrium?

They are just too CoRnY.

9points

Evil Hornet 2 years ago

When geology joke is not dorky enough, so You reach for chemistry :D Perfect! ;)

0points

#82

Not to quarry — you’ll do great on your science exam!

8points

#83

"I’m coal as a cucumber!"

8points

#84

Where were you?

I was quarried sick.

8points

#85

A bad rock pun really makes my blood run coal.

8points

#86

What should you do when you hear a joke about rocks?

Take it with a grain of basalt.

8points

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#87

How far do geologists travel?

A mylonite.

8points

#88

Why do hipsters like rocks?

They’re underground.

8points

#89

Why did the stone prefer the rock to all the others?

He was boulder.

8points

#90

What did the stone think of the rock?

That he wasn’t gneiss.

8points

#91

Old geologists never die, they just recrystallize.

8points

#92

"I had breakfast with a geologist because it rocks."

8points

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#93

You know you’re getting old when… You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going!

8points

#94

What do you do with dead geologists?

You barium.

8points

#95

Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?

Because it was on shale.

8points

#96

What do rocks eat?

Pom-a-granites.

8points

#97

What did the motivational speaker say?

Don’t take life for granite.

8points

#98

Power to the pebble!

7points

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#99

You know the old saying — igneous is bliss.

7points

#100

The miner got sick of his job because it was just boring.

7points

#101

There are definitely a few gems amongst all these terrible rock puns.

7points

#102

These puns rock!

7points

#103

Some jokes just fluorite over my head.

7points

#104

May the quartz be with you!

6points

#105

Beach rocks are so cheap because they’re always on shale.

6points

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#106

A tour of a volcano would really magma day.

6points

#107

"I’ve had a rough day, but I don’t want to chalk about it."

6points

#108

Whatever you do, always keep your coal.

6points

#109

"I wish I was a little boulder."

6points

#110

It’s a hard rock life for us.

5points

#111

"You took me for granite."

5points

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#112

Pass basalt.

5points

#113

Have a gneiss day.

5points

#114

Geologists get their rocks off.

5points

#115

Geologists do it on the rocks.

5points

#116

Geology rocks but Geography is where it’s at.

5points

#117

When were rock puns funniest?

During the stone age.

5points

#118

Geologists never lose their luster!

4points

Annette Lavy 2 years ago

das suspicious

0points

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Aivaras Kaziukonis

Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football.

Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

What do you think ?

Walbert Einstein 2 years ago

I have a rock/minecraft pun. You thought it was stone, but it was me DIOrite

0points

Walbert Einstein 2 years ago

I have a rock/minecraft pun. You thought it was stone, but it was me DIOrite

0points

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