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45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” Rocks. I’m a rock hound, and collect rocks, gems, and stones. The link between crystals and spirituality has gotten me called a devil worshipper…for liking rocks. I don’t even use them spiritually, I just like shiny s**t.

VermicelliNo2422 , Renee Kiffin Report

Final score:

417points

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Tobias Reaper 2 years ago

its obvious that OP is really a magpie using a computer

253points

Dreammare56 said the thought of making this post was quite a spontaneous one. "I was watching TV and the question came into my head when I saw something about the Satanic Panic," the Redditor told Bored Panda.

It was a time when preachers like Jerry Falwell and his Moral Majority, founded in 1979, gained prominence across the country, passing along a literal fire-and-brimstone style of Christianity.

Anti-occult crusaders like Pat Pulling, who believed her son's death by suicide was actually the result of a Dungeons and Dragons curse, campaigned against role-playing games as something dangerous and demonic, backed by occult fearmongering from Chick and his Chick Tracts.

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” Being left handed...a church I visited wouldn't let me play music bc of it.

boogboi89 , Kelly Sikkema Report

Final score:

312points

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Jo Johannsen 2 years ago

"There are none so blind as those who will not see.” –attributed to John Heywood, 1546

81points

I was maybe 8 years old at most. Evangelical church my parents forced us to attend convinced my family that the following were satanic: Disney, dragons, music that wasn’t for God, Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh, all gaming consoles. Basically anything enjoyable for a kid.

My mom preceded to cut the tapes from our original cassette Disney collection. PlayStation was taken apart since the chip had the number “666” engraved in it. (It did not.) they tried driving over my gameboy with a truck and it didn’t break surprisingly. Then a lady from church flipped it open and she twisted it and bam there went my gameboy. Funny thing is the following week both her kids got gameboys.

To this day I’m still upset about that.

orangejuicyyyy Report

Final score:

287points

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human? 2 years ago

You should be

169points

Washing machine. Apparently if you watched the swirling motion for too long, you would get hypnotized and the devil could enter your head. So be warned.

akireland9 Report

Final score:

250points

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Nathaniel 2 years ago

I had a girlfriend who used to like sitting on the washing machine during certain cycles. Is that safe from the devil?

112points

ChimeraBubbles 2 years ago

I've heard that female masterbation and orgasm can open a portal to hell so.

41points

William Stevenson 2 years ago

Mine would always pray loudly Oh god Oh god Oh god if she was washing tennis shoes...so i think the praying keeps it holy.

6points

Irish Lad 2 years ago

My wife still like to sit on ours. Says it helps with the spin cycle or something.

5points

Andrei Marentette 2 years ago

it's weird, but if it works it works

4points

cybermerlin2000 2 years ago

Depends on the demon involved. Is it Hoe-t point, Ides-Sit, Hoe-ver, Can-Die or Dyson

3points

Boredest Panda 2 years ago

The the devil’s in her vajayjay now

1point

Manu 2 years ago

Wait, are we talking about washing cycles or female cycles?

1point

Cicimelia 2 years ago

It's not called 'Ringing the Devil's Doorbell' for nothing!

1point

Jerry M 2 years ago

Definitely not but I'm guessing she had the time of her life :D

1point

May 2 years ago

I guess it's fine as long as she kept her eyes shut?

1point

Melissa Powell 2 years ago

no.

0points

Debby Marengo 2 years ago

Her reasons were self-enjoyment.

0points

M. A. McKnight 🇺🇦 2 years ago

🤔😉

0points

Mary Jeffries 2 years ago

No. Do an intervention STAT.

0points

Vicky Z 2 years ago

Personally i think laundry is evil! Laundry and ironing and moping and generally housekeeping is work of Satan to make us miserable!! The machines helping us are divine masterpieces!

9points

Marianne 2 years ago

Wow, in that case I should throw that thing out and go hand wash my things down at the river.

8points

VikingAbroad 2 years ago

My cat likes to watch the washing machine. This may be the explanation...

8points

Kona Pake 2 years ago

They all know that a cat is the devils companion.

5points

Rodney Bowie 2 years ago

LOL!! "Enter your head" "Hey Satan, can't you just, like, enter someone's head cuz you're a spirit and all that?" "Yeah, but they gotta be dizzy first."

5points

Do_You_Think_I_Give_A_Tortilla 2 years ago

Y’all need to listen up that is some serious s**t /s

2points

Rez Fidel 2 years ago

Haha... best one so far.

2points

Aurora C. 2 years ago

my cat does that

1point

Amanda Hunter 2 years ago

Let me guess, a man made that up.

1point

Deb Dedon 2 years ago

HAHAHAHAHA!

1point

Huddo's sister 2 years ago

So top loaders are okay?

0points

ColdBlooded 2 years ago

Then how does the Pope do his laundry? (if he even does it himself, or ever did, anyway)

0points

MoMcB 2 years ago

I remember a Black Sabbath album that had swirl artwork on the vinyl, Master of Reality? I used to watch my brother's on the turntable.

0points

Stannous Flouride 2 years ago

Like I need ANOTHER reason to put off doing laundry. Thanks, Satan.

0points

Trixie Boo 2 years ago

Only if it was that easy 😉😂

0points

Keo M 2 years ago

honestly i would welcome the devil inside my head, new friends are always welcome!

0points

Rhea 2 years ago

That explains a lot

0points

Archer Harris 2 years ago

What if you can’t see it (like my washer)

0points

Godfrey Johnston 2 years ago

A. Why would you watch that? B. Maybe you need something more in your life.

0points

rhubarb 2 years ago

But they probably still use washing machines?

0points

Dawn Depietro 2 years ago

Said LAST witch in Salem

0points

Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 2 years ago (edited)

If the devil would be able to manage calendar and contacts, that would make a win!

0points

Michael Sanders 2 years ago

Finally! So that’s why my friends little bother always tried to kill the dog on Monday’s

0points

Rebecca Trinkner 2 years ago

Never doing laundry again!

0points

rabbitsrabbit 2 years ago

So much easier than getting a spell book and human sacrifice. Thks for the tip!

0points

cybermerlin2000 2 years ago

Sometimes you have to stare at the washing machine because there is nothing to watch on the TV

0points

Sue Hazlewood 2 years ago

Eh?

0points

Nothing made sense. But as Vox pointed out, even though the most damaging effects of Satanic Panic were felt within the legal system, there were broader ramifications, too — and many of them linger today.

Fans of Dungeons and Dragons and other allegedly "occult" games were demonized for years. Strange conspiracy theories flourished, including rumors of subliminal messages in rock music, a conspiracy about Procter & Gamble that won the company a $19.25 million settlement, the creepy clown hoax of 2016, and concern over one guy’s weird Airbnb decor.

"In my opinion, these people and their absurd claims do kinda bring down the reputation of religion as a whole, especially Christianity," Dreammare56 said.

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” Back in the 90's my family had a home pc. We didn't have much so this computer was a big deal to my brothers and I. For school work and some good old fashioned DOS games. My dad managed to figure out how to get a screen saver with sound onto the computer, was quite proud of himself too. He failed to mention this screensaver to my mother who is VERY religious.

So one day I am sitting in highschool and get called to the principals office mid 2nd period. Now I am a darn near straight A student, who didn't get in trouble ever. So this isn't something that has ever happened to me. I get to the office, and I was told my mother called and was very very distraught and I needed to head home to be with her. I hear the secretary telling another office staff that she was losing her mind, and a few variations to that effect.

I rush home to find the pastor from church, performing an exorcism on our computer. My mother praying fervently through gasping sobs. The pastor and my mother prayed for sometime, before my dad came home. My dad gets home mad he was called home then he just starts laughing hysterically. Calls my mom a few variations of dumb, goes and wiggles the mouse to bring the computer up and plays the darth vader screen saver he added to the computer. "Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant" “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” "You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny." You know all the come to the darkside quotes. With a picture of darth vaders face. Of course my mother couldn't get the computer to do it again because she kept messing with it, and it never went back to sleep mode. So of course her first thought was we had a evil satanic computer possessed by the devil himself. The pastor just quietly snuck out with me during my dads laughing and my moms sobs.

Tahitisummer , Sincerely Media Report

Final score:

233points

POST

TheNewJenBrady 2 years ago

Yikes...for so many reasons

21points

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” Tampons.

I'm not joking or lying. When I was a kid, early 90's, there was a "God Botherer" protesting outside a Superdrug (UK Pharmacy chain) screaming about the Satanism of feminine hygiene products corrupting women into sin. This God Botherer was a woman.

Bedlamcitylimit , Natracare Report

Final score:

215points

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Marianne 2 years ago

I don't know who needs to hear this, but inserting a tampon is not giving us pleasure. Like not at all.

50points

Ambitious_Potato91 Report

So many things, but this one’s my favorite. Ready? Paleontologists. The idea is that the dinosaurs never actually existed and paleontologists just plant the fossils and bones to steer people away from “The Truth”. Clearly the work of the devil! Eek!

My eyes rolled so far back in my head they almost got stuck.

Final score:

209points

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Angela Horak 2 years ago

Yes! My parents' church also taught that scientists sneak around in the dead of night planting fake bones in the ground to try to stop people from going to heaven.

65points

An injured bat. The person I knew smashed the poor thing to death because it was "satanic." F**king awful.

TheFourthAble Report

Final score:

198points

POST

Sam 2 years ago

That person deserves smashed to death

212points

YourMomKnowsMyName · Report

#10

My father was a Baptist pastor and had no issue with me playing D&D (3.5 at the time). When he married my step mother, she was a religious zealot and kept at my dad to stop me. One day I came home from school and they were both sitting in the living room and had all my D&D books in a plastic bag, SM having convinced my father they should trash them. I challenged them saying, how could they know they were bad. SM pulled out the players handbook and started reading the description of the cleric spell Chant. "If two clerics of the same religion are chanting, the bonuses are whatever (she didn't know the word cumulative)". I turned to my dad and said, how can you say these are bad if you don't even know what the words mean. He agreed and gave me my books back.
TL,DR: My step mother's limited vocabulary saved my D&D books

Final score:

189points

POST

Sam 2 years ago

He should have also divorced her crazy ignorant ass

108points

#11

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” Sporks.

I once heard someone say, "The spork is 'the devil's utensil' because it is the amalgamation of the masculine fork and the feminine spoon and is trying to blur gender lines in society."

-eDgAR- , Dan Moyle Report

Final score:

186points

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Nathaniel 2 years ago

Are forks masculine because they have three prongs? Should we have three prongs? I only have one prong....

187points

#12

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” I knew this Christian lady that refused to eat deviled eggs.

Edit: my wife said her cousins weren't allowed to eat candy on Halloween when they were kids because their mom didn't want to celebrate the "devils birthday".

whateva_iGuess , Rosalie Barley Report

Final score:

176points

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cybermerlin2000 2 years ago

That's rich coming from a religion that drinks the blood of Christ and eats the body of Christ

209points

#13

That dog who got abandoned by his Christian owners bc he was ‘gay’.

(He was then adopted by a lesbian couple)

CharBombshell Report

Final score:

170points

POST

Bored Turtle Princess 2 years ago

How the hell do you know if your dog is gay? Were they the sexuality police or what?

72points

#14

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” Dark brown eyes. There was this batshit lady at my old church who worked in the youth ministry. She accused my sister of devil worship saying that she had "shark eyes".

Juxtra_ , Jose Castillo Report

Final score:

168points

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ChimeraBubbles 2 years ago

Wtf? Also...this is some racist s**t or what?

115points

#15

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” "Godzilla" because god's name shouldn't be used like that. Told his kids there was a spelling error and it's actually called "Goodzilla".

Odoacker Report

Final score:

163points

POST

Nathaniel 2 years ago

How should we spell stegodon? Godetias? Pagodas?

20points

SilhouetteCommenter Report

#16

My grandma bought this cute bunny hat to wear. She loves hats because her head gets cold. This bunny ear hat was her favorite. She wore it to church and the pastor told her it was a demonic hat, grabbed it from her head, and threw it into the trash (so I'm told, i wasn't there).

She came home without her hat and was pissed. The church people came over to perform an EXORCISM because she was possessed by the devil.

I remember going upstairs hearing a group of church people sign hymns loudly while the pastor was forcing his hand on my grandma's head.

I was a kid when this happened and remembered feeling angry and confused. My mom told me to go downstairs. I wish those b***hes would come back and try that same shit. I'll personally throw them out the house.

Final score:

158points

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cybermerlin2000 2 years ago

They are called a cult

13points

CartoonistExisting30 Report

#17

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” The Lord of the Rings works and The Chronicles of Narnia. Both Tolkien and Lewis were devout Christians.

Final score:

157points

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Nathaniel 2 years ago

Narnia is a whole Christian parable though?

130points

Talladega_Cucumber Report

#18

Frank Zappa's album "Jazz From Hell" was required to have an "Explicit lyrics" sticker.

It is instrumental.

Final score:

152points

POST

Marco Hub-Dub 2 years ago

Thank you, Tipper (with full support from Al) Gore!!! This is specifically and solely why my uncles and dozens of their friends in Broward County, Florida voted for Nader. Yes, because of Tipper Gore & her PMRC, George W. Bush became president of the USA.

28points

#19

Hard rock.

My idiot aunt thought that AC/DC stood for "Anti-Christ, Devil Child." F**kin' idiot.

She is also the most obviously in-the-closet person I've ever met in my life. I have a gaydar that barely functions, but she's super duper mega ultra gay. Perhaps she'd have had a happier life if she'd spent less time poring over "Balls to the Wall" like it was a Satanic verse and kissed a girl instead.

hercarmstrong Report

Final score:

152points

POST

Nathaniel 2 years ago

What does she think to Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl"?

48points

PM_meurbewbs_nbutts , Calgary Reviews Report

#20

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” Without a shred of sarcasm I once heard an evangelical describe hot cheetos as a product of the devil.

Final score:

151points

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Nathaniel 2 years ago

Atheist here, but this one? I agree with.

124points

#21

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” I remember a lady saying she refused to eat mushrooms, they were satanic because they grew in the dark.

DickPin , Jesse Dodds Report

Final score:

145points

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Nathaniel 2 years ago

Her worldview did not leave mushroom for acceptance.

167points

#22

Star Trek. Mostly, I think, because my racist uncle couldn't stomach a black woman and an asian dude being functional members of a spaceship crew.

tiberius1965 Report

Final score:

142points

POST

Sam 2 years ago

Little did he know the Asian dude was also Gay!

139points

#23

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” Unicorns. Their horns are the sign of satan. I wish I was making this up.

ZincLloyd , James Lee Report

Final score:

142points

POST

Nathaniel 2 years ago

What about Rhinos and Narwhals?

88points

#24

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” Wifi. Because they didn't understand how it could work without wires.

coda001 , Manik Roy Report

Final score:

135points

POST

Sue Hazlewood 2 years ago

So no battery radios in their house?

49points

#25

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” A microscope. An acquaintance of mine called a microscope a “gift from the devil” because it makes people question the divine plan.

ArbutusPhD , Misael Moreno Report

Final score:

132points

POST

jon gilbertson 2 years ago

ugh, crap like that burns me a*se. how many kids die because their parents chose prayer over ACTUAL medicine. sad

102points

#26

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” A toothache. "The devil is trying to enter my body." Was the quote. Initially i thought they were making a weird joke. They were serious.

RoniCorningstone , engin akyurt Report

Final score:

131points

POST

cybermerlin2000 2 years ago

Slap the person who says this and shout, "THE DEVIL IS MAKING YOU SPREAD HIS LIES TO CAUSE SUFFERING!" Sometimes you have to fight stupid with stupid

76points

#27

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” My very religious aunt once referred to Hooters as “satan's snack shop”.

Her husband was a frequent visitor and she found the receipts in his truck lol

momogirl200 , Phillip Pessar Report

Final score:

128points

POST

Mohsie Supposie 2 years ago

There MAY be SOME sense in that!

63points

SociallyAwkardTurtle , Markus Winkler Report

#28

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” Back in the 70s it was a lot of stupid: bar codes. The little symbol on Proctor & Gamble products. Yoga and/or meditation. Lots of different music by different artists. My small town Christian private school had a particular teacher who was absolutely dying mad about his students' fondness for Michael Jackson, AC/DC, and other bands of the time.

The funniest one of all was dancing. The joke around my (conservative Christian) college in the 80s was that sex was outlawed because it could lead to dancing... for some bizarre reason the administration thought dancing was totally evil.

Final score:

126points

POST

Nathaniel 2 years ago

Loose, Footloose Kick off your Sunday shoes Please, Louise Pull me offa my knees Jack, get back C'mon before we crack Lose your blues Everybody cut Footloose

94points

#29

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” My mom called my art satanic because I drew dragons and wolves with horns when I was a kid.

nukaaaKIIN , Waithamai Report

Final score:

126points

POST

Cyd Charisse 2 years ago

Dis little guy, though! So cute!

63points

#30

Women speaking or asking questions in church.

xXSacred420Xx Report

Final score:

115points

POST

Nathaniel 2 years ago

If you let women do that then where will it end? They'll be wanting to vote next.

118points

#31

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” My mom was terrified I'd accidentally summon a demon playing yugioh.

MindlessPut7675 , Erik Mclean Report

Final score:

114points

POST

rabbitsrabbit 2 years ago

Who cares about the devil? Does she realise how rich u will be if u manage to summon blue eyes white dragon into the world?

5points

#32

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” I wanted to learn to play the violin as a child but was told I couldn’t because it was the devil’s instrument.

iswiftny2000 , Joel Wyncott Report

Final score:

112points

POST

jon gilbertson 2 years ago

cue Charlie Daniels

113points

Regular_Sample_5197 Report

#33

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” “Masters of the Universe”. It was back in the 80’s. My crazy, over the top, religious aunt said ,” it’s satanic! There is only ONE master of the universe and it’s god!!!” 6 yo me rolled my eyes so hard, I’m sure you could hear the noise it made.

Final score:

110points

POST

ChimeraBubbles 2 years ago (edited)

Wow! I haven't seen this film since I was 11yo when I re-watched it multiple times per day. I was going through some particularly awful medical crap and it got me through. Humans are weird. Maybe I'm now possessed by the devil.

24points

#34

My mom called my pants satanic (there was a chain on them).

thiccmolerat Report

Final score:

105points

POST

Peter Jamson 2 years ago

My Satanic Pants has promise as a indy band name 😁

109points

#35

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” My dad wouldn't let me watch anything that had magic or monsters because he thought it would let demons into the house. This included power rangers, Ben 10, H20 just add water, harry potter, scooby doo and more.

The most ridiculous one was not letting me watch Jessie on Disney channel. This had no magic or monsters but he thought that the pet lizard one of the characters had represented the snake that deceived Eve into eating the apple.

tobi310500 , Annie Spratt Report

Final score:

103points

POST

Monday 2 years ago

A Sunday school teacher I once had was on the "harry potter is the devil's work" train....and he wonders why 70% of his class turned atheist.

62points

#36

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” F**king Hello Kitty. Some religious f**ktards from my sister-in-law's family, took away all the Hello Kitty toys from my niece and burnt them because... sigh... there is a demon in the sumerian mythology who, just like the famous cartoon cat, has no mouth, so Hello Kitty is obviously daemonic.

V02D , Debs (ò‿ó)♪ Report

Final score:

102points

POST

XSpooky_Mint 2 years ago

Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth because they wanted her to have the same emotion as the person looking at her. Like, if you're sad, then she's sad, if you're happy, then she's happy

65points

AccomplishedNet4235 , Anupam Mahapatra Report

#37

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” Oh man.

A paperback copy of Frankenstein's monster with an illustration of the monster on the front.

The experience of feeling desire for black men.

Pokémon.

Yoga.

Source: grew up in a fundamentalist Christian community rampant with ignorance and bigotry of all kinds.

Final score:

102points

POST

Nathaniel 2 years ago

If the book did NOT have an illustration of the monster, would that be okay?

34points

#38

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” i was once wearing my hat backwards and got called a devil worshipper.

Guapp5tarr , Kilyan Sockalingum Report

Final score:

100points

POST

cybermerlin2000 2 years ago

People like that are dealt with by saying things like, "You're wearing nylon and polyester. They are artificial creations and not natural. You are wearing the devil's clothing as god provides natural materials for clothing" Yes, I have done this and caused a bit of an argument between a bunch of religious nutters. It was fun

90points

#39

My wife's mother pulled her out of the carebears movie when she was a kid because the bears were casting satanic spells out of their stomachs. My wife still holds a grudge.

BlumpKeto Report

Final score:

94points

POST

Sue Hazlewood 2 years ago

Wonder what she would have thought of the Teletubbies?

46points

#40

I saw a sign yesterday that called fat people who eat excessively, satanic.

The guy holding the sign was at least 100lbs heavier than I am, and I'm 230lbs. Also, the sign didn't make any sense to begin with...

Killarogue Report

Final score:

93points

POST

cybermerlin2000 2 years ago

Are you sure that was religious intolerance and not an advertisement?

36points

#41

Acting - the entire profession.

Backwards satanic messages in the "Mr. Ed" theme song.

Liberalism - everything liberal is satanic.

I've heard all three.

1Eternallylost Report

Final score:

93points

POST

Nathaniel 2 years ago

The evil liberals, wanting everyone to be treated fairly, how dare they?

84points

#42

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” Having more than 2pets at home.

RedditIsNice6969 Report

Final score:

92points

POST

human? 2 years ago

Well then I guess I am practically Satan himself

75points

#43

I've heard someone say black people were demons because their skin is burnt from being in hell so long.

Call_MeChris Report

Final score:

90points

POST

Nathaniel 2 years ago

Racist twatbasket.

201points

#44

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” For awhile I wasn't allowed to use the word "weird" because it was associated with witchcraft. Apparently because Shakespeare wrote about the witches of "weird".

daizers , Adrian Swancar Report

Final score:

79points

POST

Lou Lopez 2 years ago

Shakespeare used it because "weird" is a corruption of Anglo-Saxon "wyrd" meaning "fate/destiny/magic." Terry Pratchett used it because he was awesome.

14points

lostintranslation199 Report

#45

Being born in March. My father's mother told my mom she was birthing the anti christ because my sister was due in March. Just so happened to also fall around my aunt's wedding. Which is probably why. Aside from her hating my mother. Jokes on her. My parents have been married for almost 30 years and are very happy.

Final score:

77points

POST

Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)

I want to know the reasoning behind some of these. Why March?

35points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#46

The movie Jumanji. Couldn’t watch it until I was like 12 because my mom thought it was about a ouija board because the pieces moved by themselves.

twfresh Report

Final score:

40points

POST

Gummy_wormz 2 years ago

Wow. Just-

9points

#47

I have a sunflower tattoo on my forearm, when I worked at ingles during college a man said it “was of the devil” and that I “defiled the body lovingly gifted by god” and god would be mad I disrespected his gift when I had to return “his” body when I returned to heaven.

enteirium Report

Final score:

40points

POST

Puppeteer Saint 2 years ago

Your body is a temple. Your body.. Your temple.. Decorate it however you like.

38points

#48

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” The peace symbol.

My HS biology teacher saw me wearing one & explained the peace symbol.

It's a inverted cross... The sides have been bent down & away from God....

Vulgar-vagabond , Jon Tyson Report

Final score:

37points

POST

Richard Graham 2 years ago

The peace symbol was designed by Gerald Holtom for the British Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament in 1958. The vertical line in the center represents the flag semaphore signal for the letter D, and the downward lines on either side represent the semaphore signal for the letter N. “N” and “D”, for nuclear disarmament, enclosed in a circle.

55points

#49

Twisted Sister. Dee Snider is a very well spoken, interesting man. Satan has nothing to do with it.

Leading_Funny5802 Report

Final score:

37points

POST

Mari 2 years ago

A lot of people are still having fear of black cats.

6points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#50

Vegetarianism.

CarolTheAncientTroll Report

Final score:

35points

POST

Bored Turtle Princess 2 years ago

Now this is just too much.

5points

#51

A friends wife once got into some religious thing where anything of beauty was satanic. Flowers, scenery, anything beautiful. Satan was luring you with its beauty.

gitarzan Report

Final score:

35points

POST

Hex Gurls 2 years ago

wasnt the earth made to be beautiful?? also didn’t god make like flowers and stuff on one of the creation days

11points

PNW_Uncle_Iroh , Jordan Whitfield Report

#52

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” I’ve heard that when your eye twitches it means you are possessed by a demon and he is looking out your eye.

Final score:

35points

POST

cybermerlin2000 2 years ago

In my case, it twitches when a religious nutter just won't shut the f*ck up

34points

#53

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” 1. Coca Cola because the red supposedly represented the devil

2. A deck of playing cards

GEDlesson , Chris Barbalis Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Commander OwO 2 years ago

We have the devil flowing inside of us 24/7, because blood is red.

28points

#54

Doom, you literally kill evil demons and send them back to hell in order to save humanity. I used to argue about this a lot growing up in Catholic schools and my teachers were not having it. Ironically I've heard it's a popular video game among priests.

SkimsIsMyName Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Ageing_Changeling 2 years ago

It was created by a Devout CHRISTIAN!!

18points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#55

An energy drink.

EDIT: yes I was talking about Monster.

HadesHailstorm Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Sue Hazlewood 2 years ago

I saw a nutbar 'explain' why Monster drink is evil some time ago. It was hysterical.

12points

#56

Hot chocolate. “I don’t drink hot liquids of any kind, that’s the devils temperature.”

PeppermintPhatty Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Jo Johannsen 2 years ago

So no soup, stew, tea, coffee...?

19points

#57

45 Times Religious Fanatics Labeled Casual Things As “Satanic” The 80's country music song 'Elvira' by the Oak Ridge Boys.

They were convinced they were singing 'Hell Fire Up' instead of 'Elvira'.

wildfan2k , en.wikipedia.org Report

Final score:

32points

POST

GirlFriday 2 years ago

This is the best on I have heard yet!

13points

#58

Any and all snakes. “They’re of the devil” is the actual quote.

originalmango Report

Final score:

32points

POST

Catherine Binder 2 years ago

But didn't god make all that creeps on the earth.

14points

#59

My old a** antisemitic neighbor who kept shouting that the synagogue down the block was satan's temple.

ExpertRaccoon Report

Final score:

30points

POST

K- THULU 2 years ago

Oh yes I've heard plenty of these. My late father,who was born a jew, used to help out some Christian neighbors when the husband had a stroke.doing their shopping, gardening ect. He was talking to the wife one day and she was talking about good deeds and the path to heaven, and my dad, jokingly, said " well I'll be ok with everything I've been doing for you" and she looked him in the eye with a stern expression on he face and said " oh no, you're going to hell.....cause you're a jew! " what a fkn evil cnt

22points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#60

I've seen evangelicals call Mormons satanic. A few called the Pope the anti-Christ.

rosanymphae Report

Final score:

29points

POST

Sue Hazlewood 2 years ago

The pope being the anti Christ seems to be a common theme

22points

#61

Decorative owls (owl-themed home decor).

NotGonna_Lie2U Report

Final score:

28points

POST

XSpooky_Mint 2 years ago

Is it because they say owls are wise and only God's allowed to be?

7points

#62

My friend's mom cut the tail off his Nightcrawler action figure cause it was pointed like the devil's tail. She didn't appreciate the Medieval Spawn figure I gave him for his birthday when we were 9, either.

Cthulhuhoop Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Marianne 2 years ago

Isn't Nightcrawler a passionate Christian? And the fact that he looks like a devil is used to set him apart from Angel, who is evil?

22points

MyAntipodeanFriend Report

#63

Black hair ties were banned at my friends Christian school because they were the devil's colour.

Final score:

28points

POST

Jo Johannsen 2 years ago

Oh, the color the priests wear? And nuns? And, in many countries, the color of mourning.

43points

#64

When I was a kid, someone said I was a devil worshipper for wearing a D.A.R.E t shirt. A lot of people also tried telling my mom that I was doing drugs because of the same shirt. I was 11 and apparently a lot of people didn't understand what D.A.R.E was about lmao

LiaLovesCookies Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Mouse 2 years ago

Majority of the people I've known/met wearing a dare shirt or hat were doing so ironically and most definitely did drugs😁

12points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#65

Once I heard a radio preacher going on about Barney, the purple dinosaur, calling him "Barney, the Purple Demon". The same guy had it in for The Smurfs as well.

Big_Jesus_Trash_Can Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Reading-under-Sequoias🫶🇺🇦 2 years ago (edited)

I have never heard of Barney before, but I googled the dino and it's kinda creepy tbh.

3points

#66

I have an Aunt that has called every election the one with Satan. Clinton, Bush, Obama, Trump, and Biden all of them. She hasn't missed a beat since I've been old enough to listen to her. she has found everyone of them lacking any "godlyness" at all. Every single election year she says it's the end of times mark her words. What's stupid is she just moves on to the next one with the prophecy isn't fulfilled

uncareingbear Report

Final score:

28points

POST

King Kashue 2 years ago

Eh, I can at least respect the consistency. If someone's only one party and not the other, or jst Obama, or - most mind-boggling - everyone *but* the philandering con artist serial sexual assailant, then that's some nonsense. The position "All politicians are immoral and sinful and lacking in righteousness"? That can at least be defended. ;)

21points

#67

Crazy religious grandpa told me I'd go to hell for eating a ham sandwich lmao

quantum_ice Report

Final score:

26points

POST

KitFrey 2 years ago

Why though

12points

#68

Video games.

BlastTyrant2112 Report

Final score:

24points

POST

You cant stop the truth 2 years ago

well duh they are fun and distract one from reading the bore-ble.

7points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#69

Every single kid's show that wasn't VeggieTales. Quite a few Pentecostal families I know will only allow their kids to watch that cartoon. Talk about indoctrination at a young age.

zerbey Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Lsai Aeon 2 years ago

My Uncle still gifts veggie tales videos to my son. My son is 14... Last time my Uncle was here he gave my son another veggie tales video, my son looked at him and said "You do realize I'm 14, right. I'm not 2, stop trying to brainwash me"

11points

Dapper_Interest_8914 Report

#70

Foosball.

Final score:

24points

POST

Puppeteer Saint 2 years ago

Did you just make a joke, Bobby? I get it. Heh heh heh.

8points

#71

Shorts. I had a friend who walked into a church during summer wearing shorts and they kicked him out saying shorts on Sunday were an abomination to God. What a joke.

alx924 Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Sue Hazlewood 2 years ago

But fine the rest of the week?

7points

#72

Movie theaters. My dad couldn't go to movie theaters as a kid, because his parents are so obsessively religious.

whystudywhensleep Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Marianne 2 years ago

There are also religious films, just saying.

6points

#73

The sound of an electric guitar. Mental gymnastics.

ModestBourgeois Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)

I was told drums are bad. Any song with a beat (which is pretty much all of them), because it induces the listener into a primal state, and I guess evil spirits can... I don't know, sneak into your head, or something?

9points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

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College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#74

Frickin hell, professional basketball…

Edit: for those asking, it has to do with the NBA supporting BLM. Although the majority of my church supports the purpose of BLM, they don’t follow it because of the violence they’ve caused in my town. However, this crazy woman said that BLM was the work of satan, and I just think she’s completely wrong.

TheCheesehead11 Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Catherine Binder 2 years ago

Wrong and most likely racist.

9points

#75

The song Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) by Eurythmics.

JohnSnowsPump Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Jacob Slump 2 years ago

Why?? It's an amazing song!

10points

#76

I used to go to a Christian private school and I argued to all of my classmates that Korn was satanic. I hadn't heard any of their music or seen them, but someone on the internet said it and that was legit enough for me. I still cringe.

RahDecagon Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Flash Henry 2 years ago

The teachers in my Catholic high school were convinced I was a devil worshiper because of the bands I listened to, all metal and rock. Korn was one of them.

4points

Phoenix_of_Asclepius Report

#77

Catholicism.

Evangelicals are weird.

Final score:

22points

POST

Jette Wang Wahnon 2 years ago

In my catholic school we were not allowed any make up or pierced ears (vanity one of the 7 deadly sins)...back-fired, because one year some little French girls attended our school and as they had their ears pierced and wearing ear rings we asked why they could have pierced ears and not us...the answer...because they were hard of hearing and that helped them to hear better...

0points

#78

Birthdays. The Bible mentions a couple and they ended badly. Hence birthday's must be "satanic"... one more reason to celebrate!!

Trucktard-1976 Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Sue Hazlewood 2 years ago

JW's?

10points

#79

DnD, but strangely enough not the Lord of the Rings.

level 1 azarbi Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Sue Hazlewood 2 years ago

Written by a Christian with the old good winning over evil theme.

5points

#80

Once I had a classmate and she had a cartilage piercing. We had an assembly and this group of people with puppets came and told the story of easter, at the end we were walking out and one of the people from the group walked over to my classmate and said "what is that thing on your ear?" She said its a cartilage piercing and the person from the group walked over to where the group was packing their stuff and said "She has definitely got to have worshipped the devil. That disgusting ear piercing she's got."

Yogurt2022 Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Mouse 2 years ago

How silly, it's one of the most common piercings.

6points

#81

When I was young around 5-7 years old my mom threw away a Hobgoblin toy because Radio Vision Christiana said to rid your home of satanic images.

I remember it because it was the first time my Mom lied to me because she told me she didn't know what happened to it.

TheDood715 Report

Final score:

21points

POST

XSpooky_Mint 2 years ago

The first time you found out about*

12points

#82

The Little Mermaid.

therwinther Report

Final score:

21points

POST

GirlFriday 2 years ago

Ursula was the devil and she tempted Ariel into giving up her voice for pleasures of the flesh. In the end, Ariel enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh so much that she abandoned her family in Christ to walk amongst the sinners. Yep. Totally satanic.

11points

#83

14 year old me with a CD player.

riphitter Report

Final score:

19points

POST

#84

One time my wife’s cousin was watching Seinfeld. Their Grandma, bless her heart, comes into the room, sees Seinfeld on the tv and says, “Turn this off right now. How could you watch this p**nography?!”

cliffdawg1 Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Raven Sheridan 2 years ago

Serenity now!

17points

#85

Pokemon.

MindSettOnWinning Report

Final score:

17points

POST

KitFrey 2 years ago

Ok I take it back, that's more random

1point

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

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What do you think ?

POST

Swan 2 years ago

everything they don't like don't want to exist don't know don't WANT to know...

24points

Chinmayee Kalghatgi 2 years ago

Anything they don’t bother to understand

15points

Mike Crow 2 years ago

It’s like Americans calling everything Communist.

18points

Helmut Kok 2 years ago

And those that say it can't explain what commuism is

13points

Kira Okah 2 years ago

My friend was called demon possessed because of her medical necklace - she had a caduceus pendant with her medical info on it. Not because of her having allergies or any of her medical issues, but because it was a caduceus. Apparently, the caduceus is the symbol of Enki, and Enki is apparently the leviathan, so carrying his symbol means he's possessing her or something such like that. It was weird.

17points

Elleana Sky Lopez 2 years ago

In the Christian Bible, the book of Job, God talks about his great work making the Leviathan. He was incredibly proud of that creature and it was just that, a sea beast.

15points

memyselfandI 2 years ago

Well but it’s actually the symbol of Asclepius, the Greek medicine god, so I can kind of understand that… if they actually had the gods correct…

4points

Suzi Q 2 years ago

My husband has a caduceus tattooed on his leg (he's a nurse,) and nobody has a problem with it at church. What a bunch of idiots. It's a medical thing!

4points

Suzi Q 2 years ago

I want you to know that most Christians aren't like that. There's some Uber extreme "Christians" (think "Footloose" whacks,) that thinks everything is satanic that doesn't "glorify God." You hear about them more because it's outrageous. Most Christians focus on leading by example, not fire and brimstone. There's a woman at my church who makes the best deviled eggs and they all love Harry Potter. It makes me mad that those zealots ruin it for normal people.

12points

Kandi Heiple 2 years ago

Tell the other Christians, not us. Ive had nothing but bad experiences with Christians

2points

KimB 2 years ago

I couldn't read these without hearing Kathy Bates saying "that's the devil" : D (The Waterboy)

12points

Gonzalo Terán 2 years ago

The problem is that in almost every post here, the outcome was like Kathy Bates, but in Misery...

2points

Chich 2 years ago

I don't know why a group who gather once a week to cast protection spells are so worked up about any of this. Not to mention their ritualistic cannibalism.

9points

Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

Epilepsy. My own grandmothers. One insisted on calling a priest, another gave us stuff ot "ward away the devil". Really? .... *sigh*

8points

Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 2 years ago (edited)

The more I read about these truly horrible, racist, homophobic, fanatical idiots, the more I'm rooting for Satan.

7points

Kandi Heiple 2 years ago

He has better music anyway

3points

You cant stop the truth 2 years ago

Christians in the posts above: "Life must be boring! Don't do anything except praise god and cover your body with long flowing clothes! No dancing! No movies! No tattoos! No bacon! No toys which look like something at all!" .... Muslim extremists: "YES! WE AGREE"... Christians in the posts above... "No, not like that. You guys are also satanic."

7points

Commander OwO 2 years ago

Existing is satanic because then you are allowing devils to *possibly* possess you. Not existing prevents this, so let's stop existing!

7points

TrD 2 years ago

Suit urself.

1point

Wintermute 2 years ago

Fun story: My mom bought in to the 80s Satanic Panic in a big way. I started playing DnD in high school and she hated it. Wouldn't let me play at home so I had to sneak off and lie about it like the cooler teenagers did about sex and drinking - which I very much did not do, though I get no credit for that, but I digress. Once I turned 18 she relented a bit and I had my crew come over for a session. It was summer so we were on the back patio when it started getting dark. There were mosquitos, so we lit citronella candles. No biggie. Next thing I see is my mom standing at the back window fuming like she'd caught us all railing cocaine off a crucifix. I couldn't figure out why, but then it hit me. The candles were surrounding us, there were five of them, they looked like a pentagram and all her worst fears were coming true like we were summoning Satan or something. Poor woman was apoplectic.

6points

Rahmad Mulya 2 years ago

I'm muslim and we had this kind of problems too, those ultra conservative fanatics .....

4points

T'Mar of Vulcan 2 years ago

This even got to Mzansi (South Africa) where the "happy clappies" (slang for the evangelical types who sing a lot and clap) picked up on all that nonsense from overseas. You couldn't have Smurfs because they used magic, and the blue meant they were dead. The Sara Moon paintings from the early '80s (I'll attach one) were painted by a devil-worshipper and their eyes followed you if you put one up in your room. My aunt 100% legit told me a story of how a child with these paintings couldn't sleep because "there were lights from the painting's eyes on the child's face". My uncle said I couldn't watch sci-fi because it showed the future and only God can know the future. (I responded by ignoring them and never attending their church ever again - they were frakking loopy.) bridgette_...c088aa.jpg

4points

Chich 2 years ago

"happy clappies" I shall have to remember that. I was in Uganda/Kenya and was suprised at how many evangelical types there were.

4points

Seabeast 2 years ago

Now I understand why so many anti-vaxxers who die of Covid are evangelicals. They call on "prayer warriors" and credit any improvement to them instead of the medical staff taking care of their useless carcasses.

4points

Elleana Sky Lopez 2 years ago

When I was a kid I had dark nail polish on and my dad took me to church where a few people pointed out that my nail polish was of the devil and if I keep wearing nail polish I was allowing myself to be possessed by him.

4points

- 2 years ago

"Satan is my manicurist. Tip him well."

11points

Zedrapazia 2 years ago

I remember some crazy woman saying Asian people were satanic because of their "gibberish devil language" and their "small eyes" that were "squinting because they were looking mean at other people" all day. I guess she was just racist against my Chinese buddy though.

3points

Nikki Sevven 2 years ago

JFC, these people are batshit insane.

3points

John Baker 2 years ago

Most Christians, fortunately, aren't idiots, but hard-core Bible thumpers like the ones in this post are invariably dumber than a sack of anvils.

3points

Ellie Vanille 2 years ago (edited)

This reminds me of Seth Andrew's conference "The satanic panic". :) I didn't grow up in the US, but somehow a lot of things from american evangelists were repeated and followed here in Europe. My parents being very religious believed it all (and still do). We were not allowed to cut our hair, to put on make-up, or to wear modern clothing. And I'm not even going to speak about tattoos or piercings. My parents would have had a heart attack. We were not even authorized earrings. Of course we wouldn't go to the theater, own a tv, watch movies, listen to non-religious music, and so on. If my parents had ever known I was reading the Harry Potter series they would have freaked out. Pokemon was of course bad. So were video games (yes even Mario), playing cards, karate, yoga, meditation, etc. We never celebrated Halloween or carnival... Ah yes and the symbols. The peace symbol is supposedly an upside down cross which sides have been bent. Aaand of course the svastika (obviously a broken cross)...

3points

Stephanie LeFae 2 years ago

My Mom said I was satanic when I was a kid because I could read words that appeared backwards. I think is was something printed on the other side of a glass door or the back side of a piece of paper held up to the light. I was pretty young so I don't remember exactly. I remember thinking how stupid she was for it though.

2points

Toujin C'Thlu 2 years ago

Banning all this innocent stuff sounds very much like something a cult would do to cut off its followers from the outside world, not a mainstream church.

2points

Huddo's sister 2 years ago

Yeah, it definitely wasn't in any of the churches of different denominations I attended. I know of only one Christian family who believed this and their church was not a mainstream one.

1point

Tristan J 2 years ago

Yet they have no problem with Catholic priests being too friendly with choir boys

2points

Bernd Herbert 2 years ago

Damn, (some) Christians are stupid beyond believe. Luckily in Germany Christianity doesn’t play any role in our everyday lives so I never ever heard something like that

2points

ShareMusic 2 years ago

Just goes to show that there have always been crazy, really dumb, or gullible people. Unfortunately the "crazies" have turned a lot of people off of organized religion. I'm deeply religious, belong to a great church and can say unequivocally that not all of us speak or act this way!

2points

Carol Emory 2 years ago

All of this stupidity. Now I firmly believe there are parts of the Bible that should be followed to a T (Ten Commandments comes to mind) but some of it I believe is made up horse manure. The anti-LGBT messages. What you can wear, eat...ideas of divorce...anything that contradicts the basic message of Love one another and be good to each other. If you are restricting how people live their life based on what you unfoundedly call a sin...then you are being judgmental...and I thought God was the only one allowed to pass judgment?

2points

KimB 2 years ago

I always took the 10 commandments as a guide on how to not be an a**hole by killing and stealing, ect...

3points

Huddo's sister 2 years ago

Most of that stuff my church would agree with- they don't care what you wear, read, listen to etc, because God does not care. In fact homosexuality is not even a sin. We have gay and lesbian ministers even. As you say, the most important teaching is love. If you are being prejudiced you are not following God's love!

1point

You cant stop the truth 2 years ago

Ten Commandments? Mostly stuff about how he is a jealous god? meh.

1point

howdylee 2 years ago

Ma ma ma Mama said...

2points

Anjelika 2 years ago

What about anything containing apples since the whole satan tempted Eve with an apple ?🤔 Harry Potter was banned in a few states at school right? I can imagine the reactions of charmed or bewitched

2points

Seabeast 2 years ago

The bible doesn't actually say what the forbidden fruit was. European artists drew it as an apple, but apples didn't exist in the middle east at the time the story was first told. A pomegranite might have been closer to what they had in mind.

6points

Selina Ali 2 years ago

No mention of Harry Potter? That’s the first thing religious nutjobs like to attack imo

2points

Rachel Spidalette 2 years ago

You wouldn't believe how much they considered it a "banned book".

1point

Will Bontekoe 2 years ago

They probably love J.K. Rowling though.

0points

Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)

I think one did, briefly

0points

leah 2 years ago (edited)

I just...my parents are fairly conservative christians and we were raised to follow the 10 commandments and things along those lines, but this is crazy. I was taught to question everything religious growing up and was told at the age of 6 or 7 (nearly 40 years ago now) that Christmas and Easter were actually pagan holidays that christians steamrolled over. For our sect of christianity our church itself is very liberal. We even had a **gasp** democrat preacher for over 20 years while I was growing up.

1point

Bi-Polar Express 2 years ago

I used a Magic 8 ball in class sometimes when we were making decisions. Another teacher told on me for using black magic in class.

1point

Shay Tracy 2 years ago

I remember being at some teen sleepaway church weekend thing and the pastor was explaining to us about how satan hides in pop music, and we could check it because when you play "I Just Called To Say I Love You" backward...you'll hear a voice saying "Satan Is Lord"

1point

Kyndal T 2 years ago

Pentecostal family. It would be easier to list what they didn't call the devil. A few years ago, they said I'm the devil so I guess I win the prize! Them not talking to me ever again is such a wonderful thing.

1point

Hallo 2 years ago

Demonic is anything different from 60 years ago So basically the modern world belongs to satan

1point

Lucas Cain 2 years ago

I got my wedding ring tattooed on my finger and when my mum saw it she told me that it will let the devil in. "All tattoos let the devil in but finger tattoos are the worst". Where did she even hear that from! Is there a guide for worst tattoo placement!!!

1point

JayWantsACat 2 years ago

Its funny how so many Christians' faith can be so tenuous and easily tested. You can't be around bad words...because your faith is so weak that hearing F**K would being you over to the darkside? lolok

1point

TrD 2 years ago

Any time someone says anything like this, ask them where in the Bible it says this is evil. These ppl are literally using religion as an excuse to make up rules feel above other ppl. Misses the whole point of religion.

1point

Seabeast 2 years ago

I suspect that some of the more extreme examples are from people who are actually mentally ill, but because they've been surrounded by and supported by people in their church, it's not only gone untreated, it's actually been made worse.

1point

Jill Bussey 2 years ago

All of these posts just make me ask why. What is their reasoning? Is it possible to change their minds?

1point

Huddo's sister 2 years ago

I would say it is unlikely they will change their mind. Not impossible, but in my experience, people that are indoctrinated into these type of churches go by what their leader says and that's it. Even if it doesn't match with what the bible says (hint- none of these are supported by the bible, except maybe the tattoo one, but that is because of the practices of the time, not because God has a problem with tattoos). More importantly, most Christians do NOT believe these things, at least not in my country. It is usually very extreme exclusive churches that do.

0points

Angie Chan 2 years ago

Snakes were one in my household growing up for obvious reasons. However, I really like them with their dry, cool, sometimes shiny scales and little flicking tongues. As a result, I have saved several that got themselves into bad positions where everyone else would freak out because "danger noodle."

1point

Na Schi 2 years ago

Shockingly sad, how low the faith in their "God" is for a lot of people. If I wouldn't know better I would say they are scared to shīt, illiterate and insecure. But i tend to think that a lot of them simply enjoy to be petty and righteous. Otherwise they would stand up and bring meaning into and made sense of the fictional tale they so strongly believe in. Turning the world into a better place instead making other lifes miserable.

1point

TrD 2 years ago

Completely true but that’s no reason to call an entire religion a “fictional tale”, just the made up rules. Ur entitled to ur opinion ig.

1point

Rachel Spidalette 2 years ago

Want to know something more absurd? Apparently, when I was newly diagnosed as autistic as a child, the Latter-Fay church at my old hometown wouldn't take me in for daycare, because they "didn't know how to deal with a child like that". Can you believe the ableism???

1point

Red 2 years ago

So, my neighbor is one an egoistical holier than thou type. Me, a goth, was of course, satanic and all sorts of evil. She had a dog, good pup but awfully mistreated, neglected and super reactive. For all that he had some aggression problems. She usually said he only barked and disliked satanic or demonic people. Guess who her dog loved? Yours truly. I was the only person he allowed into their apartment when the humans weren't home and because she knew I love dogs, she took advantage of it whenever she and her daughter went out of town or were going to be out for long periods. He was a nice and sweet dog really, very intelligent, deserved a better life.

1point

Uber Mensch 2 years ago

For anyone that wants a good laugh about religions, try reading the book "Job" by Robert Heinlein. Satire at its finest.

1point

LH25 2 years ago

I think Satan is pleased by all this. People focusing on stupid things like listed above and not the true evils in the world.

1point

KimB 2 years ago

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing man he doesn't exist"

3points

Liu Woods 2 years ago

A bit of a tangent, but I kind of wish people didn’t say religion when they meant Christianity. Not many religions out there yelling about everything being satanic, it’s just one of the biggest and loudest ones.

1point

Seabeast 2 years ago

Some of the extreme orthodox Jewish and Muslim sects are also pretty bad for this.

5points

Pete Nosal 7 months ago

Laugh, but people who believe this inanity are voting their faith into law.

0points

LSR 2 years ago

Religious god believer imbeciles. What a novelty.

0points

Nicole Normand 2 years ago

My first husband wouldn't French kiss me because that came from the devil. Good thing too; who wants to kiss him anyways? Another one he had was a rocking chair giving you ideas from the devil or something like that. So I rocked at his mother's house.

0points

m j m 2 years ago

Science is a religion

0points

LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago

Me. I married a man raised Jehovas Witness and while my hubby isn't religious (more scientific and logical, almost like Spock with a few emotions thrown in), his father is. I have a decent relationship with my in-laws to a point. I'm the temptress who led the whole family astray, none of his siblings are religious and I'm the one who is blamed since my hubby was the first one who got married so I must have influenced his brother and sisters as well by *gasp* Halloween and Christmas. Just for fun, my bookcase has an entire shelf of books and such dedicated to Paganism. My father-in-law is hard-core JW, just try to avoid religious talk.... which is hard because he manages to turn every conversation into religion and God.

0points

James Hoffberger 2 years ago

Themselvs

0points

Louie Cooper 2 years ago

I have so many of these from growing up in churches. The colour purple (for some reason), being interested in true crime/crime drama shows, the name Margaret, anything even remotely related to fantasy, ripped jeans, tampons (because they take away your virginity), women wearing shorts, women with short hair, women not liking cooking, women being interested in trades, tattoos and piercings, alcohol, any job where you may have to work on a Sunday...

0points

leah 2 years ago

Margaret? That's the first time I've heard that one.

0points

Gogubaci 2 years ago

religion is dumb. period. hasn't brought any sort of benefit to humanity, it only caused misery along the centuries and we'd be exploring other galaxies by now with human crews if it weren't for religion. should just dissapear. every single one of them.

0points

Huddo's sister 2 years ago

You do realise most religious people understand and believe in science right? Religion has not impacted us being able to explore space. Some fanaticals may be against it but most people aren't.

1point

whodunnitfan2013 2 years ago

My mom thought Five Nights At Freddy's was evil. The creator is a devout Christian.

0points

Zophra 2 years ago

I was raised or have heard/had contact with far too many of these...

0points

marianne eliza 2 years ago (edited)

Have to wonder how many generations this level of stupidity goes back. (Dis)Organized religions have been the cause of, or at least the excuse for, most of humankind's troubles since prehistory.

0points

Frying Pan 2 years ago

I think if any of the people calling these things satanic listened to my playlist, they would perform an exorcism on my computer

0points

Manu 2 years ago (edited)

So, I was expelled from my high-school because I found it boring and behaved very bad... yeah. But I was very good at math, history, English (as second language), so despite my bad behavior, I had good grades. I did something like writing a menacing letter to the principal during computing class, that gave them a reason to expell me from school. During my, let's call it "excommunication trial" I was accused of having a deal with the devil, which would explain my good grades and my taste for rock music. Truth is, I would spend hours on the library learning by myself because regular clases and teachers were frankly lame as heck. So yeah, being self taught, curious and prone to get bored is a clear signal of demonic possession. During a gathering with friends from that school years after that , I learned that a couple of years later some girl I had no idea about, was expelled from the same school for similar reasons, and they claimed she belonged to my satanic sect (I had none)

0points

kath morgan 2 years ago

Our local church had reservations about letting a karate class rent the hall.

0points

Annette Easton 2 years ago

I gave someone a ride home once, I turned the car on and Ozzy Osborne happened to be on the radio so I was immediately questioned about whether I was a satanist or not. Because of something on the radio. The same person was at my house once and saw some hanging candle lanterns I have that are star shaped and was then convinced that I must be a witch.

0points

Earl Grey 2 years ago

After reading through all of these value judgements, I can only conclude it is inevitable that I am going to Hell in gasoline underpants.

0points

Kate 2 years ago

Slightly unrelated, but my mother once made me throw away a poster I drew of a video game because it had a pentagram on it

0points

Rodney Bowie 2 years ago

I have this thing where I can make my eyeballs vibrate slightly. As I got older, I learned it's not that rare, but in high school I got called a devil worshipper cuz I could do that.

0points

Michelle Vaughan 2 years ago

Also, any numbers associate with a person (Social Security ,then credit cards) back in the 80s/early 90s. Pretty sure this was part of some sort of 700 club/Focus on the Family message (parents tried to refuse to use both until it became inconvenient). Of course, they had no issue with writing checks, which had account numbers as well.

0points

Dre Mosley 2 years ago

My mom made me stop watching He-Man as a kid because of the character, Evil-Lyn, since she was a witch and witchcraft is bad.

0points

Helmut Kok 2 years ago

I would add Atheism. Because obvious not believing in a God that created an agee that later rebelled against the god I don't think exist. Is the same as I believe in something that god created!

0points

Nojman 2 years ago

I live in the deep south and fortunately *most* (not all) of these nuts are gone.

0points

Q B F T 2 years ago

Christians are such weirdos.... Especially in the US. A Brit friend told me: "Yanks are so mental about Christianity because the country is founded on religious extremists. All the people who were too nuts for England - the puritans - settled the US." How's much truth is there to that? They also said Australians were (stereotypically) so obnoxious because they were convicts. "Australia and America, the UK's prison and asylum, respectively."

0points

You cant stop the truth 2 years ago

Seems legit. Even here africa where we have HUGE numbers of christians, they are not this batshit.

0points

MetaMaxNL 2 years ago

so many times yoga...why hahaha

0points

You cant stop the truth 2 years ago

It's from hinduism. See commandment #1.

0points

POST

Swan 2 years ago

everything they don't like don't want to exist don't know don't WANT to know...

24points

Chinmayee Kalghatgi 2 years ago

Anything they don’t bother to understand

15points

Mike Crow 2 years ago

It’s like Americans calling everything Communist.

18points

Helmut Kok 2 years ago

And those that say it can't explain what commuism is

13points

Kira Okah 2 years ago

17points

Elleana Sky Lopez 2 years ago

In the Christian Bible, the book of Job, God talks about his great work making the Leviathan. He was incredibly proud of that creature and it was just that, a sea beast.

15points

memyselfandI 2 years ago

Well but it’s actually the symbol of Asclepius, the Greek medicine god, so I can kind of understand that… if they actually had the gods correct…

4points

Suzi Q 2 years ago

My husband has a caduceus tattooed on his leg (he's a nurse,) and nobody has a problem with it at church. What a bunch of idiots. It's a medical thing!

4points

Suzi Q 2 years ago

12points

Kandi Heiple 2 years ago

Tell the other Christians, not us. Ive had nothing but bad experiences with Christians

2points

KimB 2 years ago

I couldn't read these without hearing Kathy Bates saying "that's the devil" : D (The Waterboy)

12points

Gonzalo Terán 2 years ago

The problem is that in almost every post here, the outcome was like Kathy Bates, but in Misery...

2points

Chich 2 years ago

I don't know why a group who gather once a week to cast protection spells are so worked up about any of this. Not to mention their ritualistic cannibalism.

9points

Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

Epilepsy. My own grandmothers. One insisted on calling a priest, another gave us stuff ot "ward away the devil". Really? .... *sigh*

8points

Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 2 years ago (edited)

The more I read about these truly horrible, racist, homophobic, fanatical idiots, the more I'm rooting for Satan.

7points

Kandi Heiple 2 years ago

He has better music anyway

3points

You cant stop the truth 2 years ago

7points

Commander OwO 2 years ago

Existing is satanic because then you are allowing devils to *possibly* possess you. Not existing prevents this, so let's stop existing!

7points

TrD 2 years ago

Suit urself.

1point

Wintermute 2 years ago

6points

Rahmad Mulya 2 years ago

I'm muslim and we had this kind of problems too, those ultra conservative fanatics .....

4points

T'Mar of Vulcan 2 years ago

4points

Chich 2 years ago

"happy clappies" I shall have to remember that. I was in Uganda/Kenya and was suprised at how many evangelical types there were.

4points

Seabeast 2 years ago

4points

Elleana Sky Lopez 2 years ago

4points

- 2 years ago

"Satan is my manicurist. Tip him well."

11points

Zedrapazia 2 years ago

3points

Nikki Sevven 2 years ago

JFC, these people are batshit insane.

3points

John Baker 2 years ago

Most Christians, fortunately, aren't idiots, but hard-core Bible thumpers like the ones in this post are invariably dumber than a sack of anvils.

3points

Ellie Vanille 2 years ago (edited)

3points

Stephanie LeFae 2 years ago

2points

Toujin C'Thlu 2 years ago

Banning all this innocent stuff sounds very much like something a cult would do to cut off its followers from the outside world, not a mainstream church.

2points

Huddo's sister 2 years ago

Yeah, it definitely wasn't in any of the churches of different denominations I attended. I know of only one Christian family who believed this and their church was not a mainstream one.

1point

Tristan J 2 years ago

Yet they have no problem with Catholic priests being too friendly with choir boys

2points

Bernd Herbert 2 years ago

Damn, (some) Christians are stupid beyond believe. Luckily in Germany Christianity doesn’t play any role in our everyday lives so I never ever heard something like that

2points

ShareMusic 2 years ago

2points

Carol Emory 2 years ago

2points

KimB 2 years ago

I always took the 10 commandments as a guide on how to not be an a**hole by killing and stealing, ect...

3points

Huddo's sister 2 years ago

1point

You cant stop the truth 2 years ago

Ten Commandments? Mostly stuff about how he is a jealous god? meh.

1point

howdylee 2 years ago

Ma ma ma Mama said...

2points

Anjelika 2 years ago

2points

Seabeast 2 years ago

6points

Selina Ali 2 years ago

No mention of Harry Potter? That’s the first thing religious nutjobs like to attack imo

2points

Rachel Spidalette 2 years ago

You wouldn't believe how much they considered it a "banned book".

1point

Will Bontekoe 2 years ago

They probably love J.K. Rowling though.

0points

Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)

I think one did, briefly

0points

leah 2 years ago (edited)

1point

Bi-Polar Express 2 years ago

I used a Magic 8 ball in class sometimes when we were making decisions. Another teacher told on me for using black magic in class.

1point

Shay Tracy 2 years ago

1point

Kyndal T 2 years ago

1point

Hallo 2 years ago

Demonic is anything different from 60 years ago So basically the modern world belongs to satan

1point

Lucas Cain 2 years ago

1point

JayWantsACat 2 years ago

1point

TrD 2 years ago

1point

Seabeast 2 years ago

1point

Jill Bussey 2 years ago

All of these posts just make me ask why. What is their reasoning? Is it possible to change their minds?

1point

Huddo's sister 2 years ago

0points

Angie Chan 2 years ago

1point

Na Schi 2 years ago

1point

TrD 2 years ago

Completely true but that’s no reason to call an entire religion a “fictional tale”, just the made up rules. Ur entitled to ur opinion ig.

1point

Rachel Spidalette 2 years ago

1point

Red 2 years ago

1point

Uber Mensch 2 years ago

For anyone that wants a good laugh about religions, try reading the book "Job" by Robert Heinlein. Satire at its finest.

1point

LH25 2 years ago

I think Satan is pleased by all this. People focusing on stupid things like listed above and not the true evils in the world.

1point

KimB 2 years ago

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing man he doesn't exist"

3points

Liu Woods 2 years ago

1point

Seabeast 2 years ago

Some of the extreme orthodox Jewish and Muslim sects are also pretty bad for this.

5points

Pete Nosal 7 months ago

Laugh, but people who believe this inanity are voting their faith into law.

0points

LSR 2 years ago

Religious god believer imbeciles. What a novelty.

0points

Nicole Normand 2 years ago

0points

m j m 2 years ago

Science is a religion

0points

LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago

0points

James Hoffberger 2 years ago

Themselvs

0points

Louie Cooper 2 years ago

0points

leah 2 years ago

Margaret? That's the first time I've heard that one.

0points

Gogubaci 2 years ago

0points

Huddo's sister 2 years ago

You do realise most religious people understand and believe in science right? Religion has not impacted us being able to explore space. Some fanaticals may be against it but most people aren't.

1point

whodunnitfan2013 2 years ago

My mom thought Five Nights At Freddy's was evil. The creator is a devout Christian.

0points

Zophra 2 years ago

I was raised or have heard/had contact with far too many of these...

0points

marianne eliza 2 years ago (edited)

Have to wonder how many generations this level of stupidity goes back. (Dis)Organized religions have been the cause of, or at least the excuse for, most of humankind's troubles since prehistory.

0points

Frying Pan 2 years ago

I think if any of the people calling these things satanic listened to my playlist, they would perform an exorcism on my computer

0points

Manu 2 years ago (edited)

0points

kath morgan 2 years ago

Our local church had reservations about letting a karate class rent the hall.

0points

Annette Easton 2 years ago

0points

Earl Grey 2 years ago

After reading through all of these value judgements, I can only conclude it is inevitable that I am going to Hell in gasoline underpants.

0points

Kate 2 years ago

Slightly unrelated, but my mother once made me throw away a poster I drew of a video game because it had a pentagram on it

0points

Rodney Bowie 2 years ago

I have this thing where I can make my eyeballs vibrate slightly. As I got older, I learned it's not that rare, but in high school I got called a devil worshipper cuz I could do that.

0points

Michelle Vaughan 2 years ago

0points

Dre Mosley 2 years ago

My mom made me stop watching He-Man as a kid because of the character, Evil-Lyn, since she was a witch and witchcraft is bad.

0points

Helmut Kok 2 years ago

I would add Atheism. Because obvious not believing in a God that created an agee that later rebelled against the god I don't think exist. Is the same as I believe in something that god created!

0points

Nojman 2 years ago

I live in the deep south and fortunately *most* (not all) of these nuts are gone.

0points

Q B F T 2 years ago

0points

You cant stop the truth 2 years ago

Seems legit. Even here africa where we have HUGE numbers of christians, they are not this batshit.

0points

MetaMaxNL 2 years ago

so many times yoga...why hahaha

0points

You cant stop the truth 2 years ago

It's from hinduism. See commandment #1.

0points