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30 Rich Folks That Tied The Knot With Their Less Fortunate Partners Reveal What Shocked Them The Most About Their Ex-Life
Even though there have been a few kinds of research stating that opposites do not attract and that people tend to fall for those with whom they share similarities, it's still a question of preferences. Some folks feel more comfortable spending their time with people that have a similar lifestyle or share a mutual interest – others find it exciting when their significant other is a complete contrast to their personality.
Either way, it's impossible to have a totally identical mindset to your partner, which is why every relationship is prone to surprises. Though, of course, sometimes being different than your lover is way more fun.
For instance, this Redditor decided to ask fellow online users who came from a more abundant background and are in a relationship with someone whose life was less fortunate to share what surprised them the most about their partner's previous life. The post received over 65K upvotes and nearly 22K worth of comments sharing an array of stories.
More info: Reddit
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#1
My husband grew up in a family where they were comfortable but on a strict budget. Six kids and mom on disability. My family had no budget.
One day we were at the grocery store and he always insists on walking up and down every aisle. I finally lost it because he was taking so long and asked him why he did it.
“Growing up we could only spend $100 a week on groceries for all of us. I always had to put what I wanted back because we couldn’t afford it. Now I can afford whatever I want so I like to look at everything I could have.”
Took him 10 years to tell me this. I felt like a terrible person.
Ivana 2 years ago
I grew up on a strict budget and we never went down the aisles because that is where all the expensive junk food is located. I still don't go down them because I never developed a taste for junk food (on the plus side of things) and I absolutely hate the grocery store and want to get in and out as fast as possible. I would be annoyed too.
RELATED:
#2
I came from a family worth multi-millions. My wife came from a family who could barely eat and dealt with CPS at times.
We fell in love in high school. We've been married for 12 years and love each other more each day.
About 5 years into our relationship, I realized how weak I was in comparison to her strength. And realized that much of what I had growing up, while providing a net of safety, produced feelings and issues of anxiety. On the contrary, when we faced adversity in our earlier years, my wife was a solid rock. I don't mean this to sound insensitive but at times, I am envious of what she experienced growing up as because it has made her an amazing human being full of strength and peace. Nothing phases her.
I was told by people outside of my immediate family (friends and others) how there would be challenges with our demographics being so vastly different. The only challenge I've found is on her end having to deal with someone who had so much given to them growing up out of good intentions from their parents and her being so gracious and strong in helping me overcome my weaknesses.
#3
My wife grew up poor in Appalachia in a big extended. What surprised me was how freely they share money with each other. They'll just loan each other a few hundred casually, with no real expectation of repayment. Car repair, water heater fails, need a new roof, boom here's some cash. That's unheard of in my wealthy family.
#4
My wife was born and raised in the Soviet Union. She still goes crazy for fresh fruit like its the most extravagant luxury.
May 2 years ago
I visited Ukraine less than a year after the dissolution of the Soviet Union, and the food shops in the cities had almost bare shelves. There were a few chickens and some bread, and almost nothing else. In the countryside they were still using horse and buggies to transport things (in -92)
#5
I'm not rich at all but my husband came from a very poor Mexican village. He told me he used to shower outside (because there was no in-house plumbing) and use leaves as toilet paper. I mean, there's poor, and there's my husband's-previous-life poor.
He's been living in the US for 12 years now but when we first met it was so interesting seeing life through his child-like eyes. Going to the cinema was a huge event for him. Heating food up in a microwave was a totally foreign concept. And staying at fancy hotels when we went on vacation was like WOAH. I still see him surprised by things now and then and it just reminds me how much I take my middle status class for granted.
Troux 2 years ago (edited)
Food for thought, an annual salary of about $35K will put you in the top 1% of the world earners. *Edit*: This seems to be false, see AbiP's rationale below. Original source: https://www.greenbacksmagnet.com/2018/02/25/top-1-percent-income-worldwide/ ...However, a net worth of just $93K is enough for the top 10%. https://financebuzz.com/us-net-worth-statistics
#6
When the family had people over for dinner, if they ended the prayer before the meal with "F. H. B., Amen." it was a signal to let the children know that they don't have enough food for everyone, so take smaller servings and let the guests get a regular serving.
FHB = "Family, hold back."
They were always generous to their friends and didn't let their lack of funds embarrass themselves when doing so.
#7
Making financial decisions based around the three paycheck month.
If you're paid every two weeks, most months you get two paychecks, and all of your monthly bills and budgeting is based on those two paychecks. But twice a year there are three paydays in a month, and that's when you can actually solve problems. That's when you can get the car registered, or fix the dryer, or get the cat spayed.
The other 10 months you're doing maintenance and trying to scrape by. Three paycheck months you can actually try to fix problems.
#8
This is super embarrassing and will probably make you all hate me if it even gets any attention but:
I come from a family just a bit higher than the top 1%. I was walking out of my ex's garage and I saw a lawn mower. I asked her why they owned their own lawn mower if they weren't in the landscaping business.
That was the day I learned most people don't hire other people to mow their lawn.
I was 20
#9
I am not rich by any measure. Ex was not really that poor. After we married I found out until she was 23 and married to me she had never bathed in more than 2 inches of water. I filled the tub and bathed her myself. She cried.
#10
Honestly, food insecurity. When we were first married she would get visibly uneasy if the food in the house was running low. She never overate or anything, she was just always concerned about it. A lot of times when she was younger, she went hungry.
On the humorous side though, she hates camping. Her answer is always the same: I camped because it was fun, she camped because they couldn't afford hotels.
Steffen Rehm 2 years ago
Uh, i get really uneasy when the fridge reaches a specific point. Yes i grow up poor, but never realized the impact to this day. My wife on the other hand could easy life with a empty fridge i guess. Would drive me insane, so i do the most of shopping to prevent that. :D
#11
My SO said "Today I made rent" meaning "today I've earned enough/accumulated enough to pay the rent" and I realized that this is a monthly accomplishment to someone with no fixed income/salary.
#12
My wife genuinely thought, and her family still does, that there is a direct relationship between someone's net worth and the labels they purchase. If someone doesn't have a Gucci bag or a Rolex watch, why, it's because they can't afford it! My wife was astonished when I first told her that people exist that are ultra wealthy and yet drive old cars and wear clothes without labels.
#13
Answering as a poor person whose partner’s family is rich. I about fell outta my chair the first time we went out to eat, and he ordered an appetizer in addition to his entree. That’s when I knew.
#14
I grew up in a rich family and married someone who grew up dirt poor. I guess what really took me a long time to get used to was genuine empathy. Actually empathizing with emotion instead of etiquette, making moral decisions in the moment based on how it might actually make the other person feel. My family is a bunch of stoics. They act based on set rules and think that emotion is stupid and should be ignored entirely.
#15
It's a celebration when a hot dog bun is used for your hot dog instead of a slice of bread.
#16
We live in the southeast, my husband grew up wealthy. He grew up skiing and they always went to Colorado to ski. We go on a big family ski trip with his parents about every other year. He didn’t realize for a while why people thought he grew up rich, one day I asked him “Do you tell them you go skiing?” He knew skiing is expensive, but it never clicked for him that going skiing on a regular basis from a region where you have to fly out is a huge wealth marker.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Up until her mom passed away, my SIL's entire family went to Disney World every single year. Her parents, my SIL and her two siblings, all their spouses and kids. Dad paid for everything. Having this kind of disposable income is totally alien to me (and if I had it, I certainly wouldn't bother with Disney when there are so many other amazing places to go).
#17
Both came from poor backgrounds. Hubby now earns 6 figures. I still buy my clothes from a charity shop because I cannot ever fathom why you’d spend £400 on shoes and bags “for a season”. You can buy designer clothes in a charity shop if you know what you’re looking for.
I think M&S and Waitrose are just overpriced when you can get a trolley FULL of fresh food and eat like kings at Aldi for £100. I don’t do takeaway food.
Funny story though, when we first got together I was making a spaghetti dinner and grabbed a bottle of red wine off his shelf to add to the sauce. I didn’t know what £45 bottle of wine was, and still think it tasted pretty ordinary. And I drink a LOT of wine.
Otter 2 years ago
I used to be poor, now I earn six figures. You bet your ass I shop at thrift stores, and go to the dollar store before I go to Target, just in case I can get something I need for a pittance! The thing about going from poor to prosperous, is that you can never forget how easy it is to become poor again.
#18
She and her mother lived with her grandfather to not be homeless because her grandfather owned a house.
She was putting community college payments on her credit card and building debt with it.
I paid off her credit cards when we were dating and she cried from me being so nice (it was only like 1,300 bucks). I bought a condo, then we got married, then we bought a house. I never really considered myself rich until i started dating her and learned that a trip to Wendy's was a treat. I grew up middle class, and we are currently middle class, heh.
#19
Sandwiches. When I made him a sandwich I only put one thin slice of meat in it. He couldn't believe that was how I had sandwiches growing up.
#20
She wouldn't waste any food, ever. We went through a few rounds of her getting sick from eating month-old muffins and similar before I convinced her it was OK to toss old food and go shopping.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
While you certainly shouldn't eat food that has gone bad, you should also keep food waste to a minimum. Also, compost if you have the room.
#21
The prevailing mindset in his community growing up that insurance was something only rich people had. Not health insurance, mind you (well, not just health insurance). Auto insurance. Going without it was a way of life for most everyone he knew.
Guy MacGregor 2 years ago
It's... illegal not to have insurance. Maybe depend on your country though, but it's a global thing
#22
Eating leftovers.
Not using A/C.
Shopping around an abnormal amount to save a marginal amount of money on something.
Coupons.
Looking at gas prices.
Driving across town to save a buck.
Not knowing the value of Time over Money
#23
Hamburger Helper. She hates it because it would be her meal 5x a week growing up.
I had never even seen HH before I went to college and love that stuff. 10 for $10 deals are awesome.
#24
Not rich but with a partner who was raised by a teen mom and grew up poor. Sometimes I just want rice and vegetables for dinner. That's a no from her. She won't go back.
#25
Not married, but dating (I’m in college for reference). I’m the daughter of a multi-millionaire, and I never knew just how many things were easily doable by hand. He did an oil change for me the other day, and I feel kinda cheated that I used to pay so much for it.
#26
im not married, but my girlfriend of 4 years doesn't have alot of the childhood experiences and skills I took for granted that most people had. Like never learning how to ride a bike, how to swim, never having gone camping or seen snow (we live only a few hours away from seasonal snow)
HarriMissesScotland 2 years ago
We had students who had never gone 10 miles out of town. My mom would take them out to lunch in a larger town about 25 miles away. Some cried, some were just in awe. We lived in a small town with just a caution light.
#27
He doesn't remember any of his teachers names because he never stayed in one place more than a few months.
#28
When we moved in together, I found out that she was putting her share of the rent on her credit card, with no real plan for how to pay it off.
#29
Long term dating. Pets. I was always surprised by the number of pets she and her family had living in the trailer and how much of a share of their income they spent on them.
Who Panda 420 2 years ago
If they were spending income on them at least that meant they were caring for them
#30
Lice -- I had never experienced them (our kids got them from the inlaws)
I didn't know about Section 8.
I'd never heard of the Earned Income Credit (e.g. you get more back in taxes than you paid).
You go to the E.R. because you don't have insurance.
What do you think ?
PitbullmomAF 2 years ago
I grew up low middle class (enlisted military), but my husband grew up very poor. He was on his own and homeless by 14. He worked and went to school then joined the military. He never liked red meat because he hadn't tasted it until he was about 10. He won't eat minute rice either. We budget our money, but he goes out of his way to spoil the people that he loves. I have to tell him that I don't need anything because he constantly wants to give me things. He always overtips, gives to homeless/ charities, because at one time people gave to him.
JJ 2 years ago (edited)
You remind me of something I experienced often: My family never had much money and really struggled from time to time, but if there was a friend or family member struggling even more to an existential point, then they'd try to give a little bit (and if it was only a meal or clothes). Later in life I re-experienced it with friends and with my in laws. Sometimes it was only about 5 or 10 Euros to make a difference. And this is what we did and what others did for us. On the other hand side, some old friends of my husband who were not wealthy or something but never experienced struggling to pay for food or the like, never even thought about doing that. I don't know if it's because the amount or gesture is like nothing to them or because they simply didn't bother...
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Susie Elle 2 years ago
Growing up me and my sister were well taken care of, but we were also pretty poor so my mom had to bend over backwards to make ends meet every moth. Often she would go and take bikerides by herself in the evenings for about an hour just to clear her head of all the worrying about money (I later learned this - my dad generated the income but my mom took care of finances). She taught me to save, always save money. I now have a pretty good financial buffer and a decent paying job, but every time I spend a sum of money on something for myself I feel awkward and decadent about it for weeks.
Jo Choto 2 years ago
I've experienced some reasonable extremes of poverty and wealth. I'm nowhere near the richest I've been, but I'm comfortable enough now. But I have lived among people who truly had nothing and people who had everything, and I would choose the poorest of the poor every time as human beings (even though I wish they weren't so poor for their sake).
Memere 2 years ago
Same here. Altho I have known 1 or 2 wealthy people who were very decent humans - they didn't live high on the hog, and they contributed a lot to those who had less, both in money & in actual work on the streets.
Load More Replies... PitbullmomAF 2 years ago
I grew up low middle class (enlisted military), but my husband grew up very poor. He was on his own and homeless by 14. He worked and went to school then joined the military. He never liked red meat because he hadn't tasted it until he was about 10. He won't eat minute rice either. We budget our money, but he goes out of his way to spoil the people that he loves. I have to tell him that I don't need anything because he constantly wants to give me things. He always overtips, gives to homeless/ charities, because at one time people gave to him.
JJ 2 years ago (edited)
You remind me of something I experienced often: My family never had much money and really struggled from time to time, but if there was a friend or family member struggling even more to an existential point, then they'd try to give a little bit (and if it was only a meal or clothes). Later in life I re-experienced it with friends and with my in laws. Sometimes it was only about 5 or 10 Euros to make a difference. And this is what we did and what others did for us. On the other hand side, some old friends of my husband who were not wealthy or something but never experienced struggling to pay for food or the like, never even thought about doing that. I don't know if it's because the amount or gesture is like nothing to them or because they simply didn't bother...
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 2 years ago
Growing up me and my sister were well taken care of, but we were also pretty poor so my mom had to bend over backwards to make ends meet every moth. Often she would go and take bikerides by herself in the evenings for about an hour just to clear her head of all the worrying about money (I later learned this - my dad generated the income but my mom took care of finances). She taught me to save, always save money. I now have a pretty good financial buffer and a decent paying job, but every time I spend a sum of money on something for myself I feel awkward and decadent about it for weeks.
Jo Choto 2 years ago
I've experienced some reasonable extremes of poverty and wealth. I'm nowhere near the richest I've been, but I'm comfortable enough now. But I have lived among people who truly had nothing and people who had everything, and I would choose the poorest of the poor every time as human beings (even though I wish they weren't so poor for their sake).
Memere 2 years ago
Same here. Altho I have known 1 or 2 wealthy people who were very decent humans - they didn't live high on the hog, and they contributed a lot to those who had less, both in money & in actual work on the streets.
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