I’m not poor, but I dated a guy for four years that had a wildly wealthy father. Private jets, extremely expensive cars, giant homes, paid for his children’s veneers/plastic surgeries, employed them all, etc.

They were the most miserable, unhappy people I’ve ever had the displeasure of being around. It completely changed my view of the very rich and the facade they put on. Not a single interaction with his family was without a fight, argument, screaming match, and jabs/cruelty towards one another and myself. I was so uncomfortable around them and my ex was so obsessed with pleasing his father that I had to end the relationship. The money was nice but I would absolutely never, ever willingly associate with any of them again. They were terrible people. Very unhappy.

cancerousmole Report

POST

rahb1

rahb1

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Apparently nouveau riche.

3

3points

reply

Only ever dated one guy (I’m a straight woman, if that matters) who had lots of money, so this is anecdotal, but he was very very sensitive about who paid for what. He was quite concerned about potentially being taken advantage of, so we ended up mostly splitting everything 50/50. We missed out on doing some fun stuff he wanted to do (shows, trips, etc.) because I couldn’t afford half. He seemed mildly resentful of my not making enough money to match him on these things. It was distracting and depressing and I got tired of feeling like I had to troubleshoot his insecurities. Relationship didn’t last long.

Before I get downvoted, let me say I do NOT expect either the man to pay for everything OR the person who has substantially more money to pay for everything. I think splitting costs of shared expenses is fair, but it does mean that those expenses are limited by the wallet of the person with the smaller income.

In my experience, the people with comfortable (as opposed to large) incomes tend to be much more relaxed about income disparity and are more willing to offer to close gaps.

TheRealSugarbat , Alexander Grey Report

POST

Dating a arab woman from a billionaire family. Most of their money came from investments made over a hundred years ago. The OG split his gains between his sons and daughters who went on to start their own businesses and investments. The train has been rolling since then. Definitely learned a lot about generational wealth from her and her folks.

aifranchise , Antoni Shkraba Report

POST

I learned a few things:

- A lot of rich people are deeply unhappy. They lack drive, because they don't 'need' to do something. Many of them can just sort of laze around. They fall into very unhealthy habits, trying to fill a hole that money can't fill.

- They lack a lot of basic skills. How to unclog a drain, how to hang a painting, how to change a filter. They'll spend $100 to get a handyman to spend two hours doing something they could fix themselves in 30 minutes and a $15 trip to the home depot.

- They're often fiercely competitive and super insecure about their wealth. I went through most of my life without ever talking about money. Why talk about something you don't have? But at a rich person dinner it's a constant d**k measuring contest of "I made x amount on this investment" or "I put so much here and expect so much back".

- Money really does make life easier. Like if you're a happy person with goals and a healthy attitude towards life, you can just buy the things you need to pursue your passions.

- There exists a higher end product for almost everything, and it's often significantly better. It might sound stupid, but a $200 toaster or $150 kettle actually does improve your breakfast. A $700 vacuum cleans in ways you never thought possible. You don't think it will, but it will.

shaidyn Report

POST

My ex’s family wasn’t super rich, but they were much richer than my family.

Their kids (including my ex) expected things to be handed to them. I learned that it was a good thing my parents didn’t (couldn’t) give me everything I wanted. For example, my ex was upset that his parents bought his sister a nicer car than him. They are all full grown adults.

His mom was very confused why my parents couldn’t just pay to put me through college. They made me feel bad about it, like as if my parents didn’t love me because they couldn’t pay for it. Their idea of love=money.

A major reason our relationship ended was because he expected everything to be done for him. He has no real sense of responsibility.

Separate_Tangelo7138 Report

POST

Not from dating someone rich but I have a good amount of friends that are from a very wealthy families.

For some of them: The amount of control their families/parents have on their lives is somewhere between hilarious and psychotic.

For one friend, his mom has a tracker on his phone so she knows where he is at all times to make sure he's not in a bar or something. He's 45 years old lol. We have literally been day drinking and his mom came and dragged him by the ear. I was like Holy s**t. What is happening.

He also has all his spending tracked with his credit cards and stuff. Sometimes I'll pay for a bill so his parents don't know and he will pay me back later. Again... he's 45.

That being said he has a tremendous drug/drinking problem. Also that was the worst example I've seen

Other friends I've seen some serious control issues from their families even though they're adults. I think their parents will cut them off the money train if they don't like their activities.

If my parents ever said I could or couldn't do something at my age. I'd say oh that sucks cause I'm gonna do it anyways.



On the other side of the spectrum, I have a friend from an extremely wealthy family and he's very close to everyone, in a good way. They will have like a summer cook out and invite everyone and it's just a super warm environment. It seems like everyone can talk about anything and get good advice. That was also very foreign to me, but it looked nice.

morreo Report

POST

rahb1

rahb1

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

"Not from dating someone rich but I have a good NUMBER of friends ..." Fixed it for you!

-1

-1point

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

Being rich automatically puts you in a slight position of power. I learned that the rich people that have to tell everyone they are rich every 5 seconds usually abuse that power. The rich that don't feel the need to tell everyone, tend to make better decisions eith how they treat people and handle themselves. The good ones are usually self made.

Every-Chemistry-2969 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

POST

rahb1

rahb1

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

If they have to TELL you how rich they are, then they aren't really rich.

6

6points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

I've become friends with some very wealthy people. Their children, even if they are "good people" are more often than not completely clueless about the real world. Like they can't envision living without the money so they don't understand why people are upset about getting fired or struggling to pay bills.

diiejso , Karolina Grabowska Report

POST

Both of the exceptionally rich men I dated were so out of touch with reality.


The detail that sticks out is that one of them just didn't know how to talk about anything else. I'd ask him about movies or books or music, and he had no opinions. And I could tell it made him uncomfortable not to have the upper hand in the conversation (I think he thought I was a pretty simple country girl, and was surprised that I had thoughts and opinions) so he'd fall back on asking me variations of "if money wasn't an issue, what would you..." just for him to say "well, I could make that happen for you" when I answered. Got old real fast. Did not take the rejection well at the end of the night. Huge fat baby man.

International-Tea853 Report

POST

rahb1

rahb1

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

If they can't talk about anything else other than money, then they don't feel secure having enough of it. Anyone who feels secure financially does NOT need to talk about it in a social environment, and especially on a date.

6

6points

reply

Met this girl from Greece studying art at St Martins college, her dad was absolutely loaded, she told me she wanted me to show her what it was like to live like common people. You know, do what common people do.

So I took her to the supermarket told her to pretend she had no money (had to start somewhere I guess), she played along and got a shitty flat above a shop and got a job etc.

But at the end of the day I always knew that if she phoned her dad he would be able to stop it all and take her back into luxury.

For me that was the key difference.

SoapNooooo Report

POST

Adam Elder

Adam Elder

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Hi Jarvis!

9

9points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

"Old" money will never get it. They're on a different plane of existence, like it or not.

Impressive-Leave7587 Report

POST

Health care is looked at the same way as maintenance on a car. It isn't looked at like waiting for something to break before seeing someone about it.

Wealth is very quiet. No logos. Pretty, monochrome clothes but tailored. No bragging about money or throwing it around. A pretty strict sense of manners and etiquette. They're not going to be shouting over everyone in the restaurant or twerking in the booths.

GingerBanger85 Report

POST

Brocken Blue

Brocken Blue

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Honestly delaying healthcare and car maintenance are two of the worst but most common things my family did when money got thin… it’s insane the difference in sheer life quality that results in…

9

9points

reply

View more comments

Money has no meaning and so therefore your money has no value either. He drove a Porsche and on one date he forgot his wallet. I don’t mind paying my share but I had to fill up his car then pay for an expensive dinner and pay for cinema and snacks etc. He was clueless that the one date and stuffed my finances for a month. I was barely out of university and barely scrimping by.

staffsmarie , Karolina Grabowska Report

POST

Rosy Maple Moth

Rosy Maple Moth

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

2 years ago

• Report

If they agreed before the date that he was going to pay for both then I hope he paid it all back.

6

6points

reply

Something I did not see here is, how the comfortably rich view the truly rich.

At one time I was Director of a Fortune 100 IT department and my boss was the VP. He was wealthy enough to have his own yacht and to belong to a big name yacht club. One evening he and his wife hosted me and my wife at that club for a dinner. Great dinner!

We were amused to hear him complain during dinner of all the things he could not do along with his wealthier club friends, like, for example, drop everything on the spur of the moment to fly to South Africa for a yacht race -- as a spectator, not a racer. He was genuinely put out by this awful dose of reality. We commiserated appropriately.

But we did get several pleasant trips on his yacht over the years. So, it's nice to know the merely average wealthy from time to time.

le_vieux_mec Report

POST

"I didn't go to college" means something else entirely when you go to a $50k/year private school and get hired by your dad's pharmaceutical company.

aboxofquackers Report

POST

They don't know how to cut back because they only knew the good life. No sweetheart, we don't need 3 vacations a year when you are f*****g unemployed.

Snowgap Report

POST

I worked for them and had some rich relatives..
- Rich people try to solve problems with money. They won't be there emotionally and they don't want to deal with problems themselves. They pay someone else to handle everything. For example for expressing feelings of lonliness I have gotten a cashmere scarf from one person and an offer for a mental asylum from another. Also if you work with kids they usually pay you to get a break from them while you teach them something to make them better than other kids.

- Rich people never disclose how much they truly have, and tend to hold onto certain items for a long time rather than get new ones all the time. Like they will say what connections they have but you will never hear an actual number. And they will drive the same car for life, keeping it in brand new condition. And they are really proud of these items, they will tell you that often.

- They don't follow trends, they just do what they like, and dress how they want. They don't care who knows about their status, your opinions don't register as something they care about.

That's all I got, might be an old vs new money thing.

clueless234567890 Report

POST

rahb1

rahb1

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

That is (mostly) OLD money. "Rich people never disclose how much they truly have," Old money. If they brag, then they are nouveau riche, and therefore tedious. Bragging about money is so gauche and non-U. "tend to hold onto certain items for a long time rather than get new ones all the time." Again, OLD money. Nouveau riche braggarts are on about it ALL the time; so tedious!

5

5points

reply

View more comments

That rich parents tend to make for an emotionally stunted child. My first serious gf was the daughter of a successful London stockbroker. He was a complete s**t of a father and husband; emotionally distant and only knew how to reward his daughter financially, never emotionally. Outwardly to strangers he was charismatic and cheerful. I was privy to what went on behind closed doors and he really was a turd of a person.

She'll never want for money - I'm sure the stock portfolio he gradually built for her is paying off handomely - but she was cold and closed off emotionally because of his neglect and abuse, which were rooted in the idea that money was the only way to measure his success.

She had so many hangups because of this that it's difficult to pick just one example, though the one that sticks with me most is when on her 20th birthday some of her old school friends came to visit and we all went out for a meal. It was my first time putting faces to names I'd become familiar with over several years, and I was chatting to them in what I thought was a friendly way. I mean, if they were good enough to be her friends, that was good enough for me. It was a nice meal and everything seemed fine. The next day she was really upset and even more distant than usual, and after I pushed her for a reason she eventually admitted that she hated how I had spoken to her friends because "they're my friends, not yours". In her mind I should have interacted only with her and treated everybody else with curteous detachment.

Her mother was an overbearing Chinese mother, only married to the dad because she fell pregnant with my ex, I assume from a one night stand. She lived like a ghost; cooking meals and tending to chores while staying firmly out of sight. The few times I ever saw him speak directly to her, he showed her only disdain, treating her more like hired help than the mother of his child. He would spend his evenings in strip clubs, buying £1,000-a-bottle champagne and doing f**k knows what else.

He tolerated me as his daughter's boyfriend until he actually bothered to have a conversation with me and found out I came from a poor family. After that he basically treated me like a piece of dog s**t on the bottom of his shoe.

I felt sorry for my ex. She wasn't innocent herself, but given the dynamic between her parents and between her and her father, who she desperately wanted to please but knew that she probably never could unless she became as cold and cruel as he was, never really gave her a chance.

We didn't end on good terms - she cheated on me multiple times and rationalised it to herself long before I ever found out - but I hope she's doing well. Our relationship was never going to work out in the long run and I think we both knew it at the time, but she was my first love and we both learned a lot from the years we were together. I certainly picked up on a lot of potential red flags, which stopped me from putting myself into similar situations in the future.

kinggimped Report

POST

I lived with my rich ex bf and his rich roommate for a couple years and yeeesh.

Wasn’t my ex, but his roommate who was equally as rich once told me she “knows what I’m going through” when I was stressed about my bills. The girl who has never had a job, never paid her own rent, or tuition and gets a f*****g allowance on a credit card each month.
Her parents gave her 1000 in spending money each month, after groceries and bills. Just 1000 in fun money. It’s not a lot but it isn’t nothing.
She told me that if she doesn’t go over the 1000 limit each month, daddy puts the difference in a high interest savings for her that she gets when she graduates.
She said it’s been so stressful “managing my money” because her sister got the same deal but is more frugal. Her savings account is now over 10k while my roommate is “living paycheck to pay check” (the NERVE).
I just told her to f**k off. We didn’t really live together much longer after that.

Another millionaire friend of mine who just got back from his 3rd trip to Spain this year and spends about 6 figures a year on travel told me if I “just saved my money” then I’d be able to afford to go with them.
For what it’s worth, his husband is a ceo and he doesn’t work. He inherited rental properties all around the world and just collects a pay check.

TLDR: rich people actually don’t often have a concept of money or economic hardship.

josiahpapaya Report

POST

Money can't buy class or kindness but it can buy peace of mind

NoBreakfast3243 Report

POST

Not dated, but I grew up firmly middle class in a very rich area so most of my high school friends were from rich families.

What I found was that rich people can be weirdly stingy with money when it comes to certain things and just not care for other things. They'd spent nearly a 100 grand flying the entire family out to Disney World (from Europe) for a weekend but would the family car would be a 15 year old rusty minivan. One friend lived in a house with a swimming pool and a sauna in the basement, but his mom did the shopping at Lidl and Aldi.

ConstableBlimeyChips Report

POST

rahb1

rahb1

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

YES! They know the value of money and don't waste it! My schoolfriends' family owned the most expensive house in our town (at the time) but drove a Holden sedan and a Morris 1100!

7

7points

reply

View more comments

How you don’t need to really worry about your wealth if it is properly invested. Over a long timeline, it builds. Period. So you can ignore most short term trends in the markets.

PotPumper43 Report

POST

My fiancé is rich and I am dirt poor.

He doesn’t understand that I can’t simply buy a Vespa or random things because I straight up can’t afford it. He also believes being poor is a choice and doesn’t understand why I don’t just go out and get a 100k/yr salary.

He is also tight with his money. I don’t ask him to help with my bills, although in my fantasies he pays off my crushing credit card debt.

He’s a great person, but has never had the experience or should I say anxiety of making your monthly bills.

celestial_silhouette Report

POST

Noyfb noyfb

Noyfb noyfb

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Why are you marrying this stiff?

6

6points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

I’ve dated one rich person who was also born very rich. I noticed differences in mentality, I care about money but it is not my life. Whereas money was his number one priority. Education and working on yourself did not matter to him, since he already had all the money he wanted. His emotional intelligence was basically non-existent. Since there was no emotional intelligence or common intelligence, the only thing we could talk about was favorite restaurants, countries to travel to, cars and luxury brands.

He couldn’t do any basic life skills such as making your bed, cooking an egg, doing the laundry, turning the power back on.

He didn’t care about respecting people ‘below’ him, which follows my second observation: everyone who had less money than he was ‘beneath’ him.

Oh and he didn’t tip the waitress. 🥲🫣🥹

These were my observations during a few conversations and one date in a restaurant.
It was a family friend and our parents wanted us to end up together, thank god I’m picky.

And he found it shameful that I, a woman, studied and worked a job. According to him, women shouldn’t go to university or build a career. According to him, having a nanny was crucial if you wanna have a family.

Make it make sense bc until today I still don’t get him

walkingparadox420 Report

POST

harpling

harpling

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

'He didn't tip the waitress.' That pretty well sums up half the entries on this list.

10

10points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

My ex's parents make a million a year. Shes convinced they are middle class. Make of that what you will

Aiizimor Report

POST

Lot of folks talking about the money aspects, but the personality differences were super eye opening to me.

Went to a fancy dinner with an ex who's dad was a big name NYC architect. Would constantly name drop about who he was working with, talk about the buildings as if they were his, and would spout off random facts about all the dishes being brought out. Supposedly was great friends with the chef at this place and despite paying thousands of dollars for us to all be there the chef never came out to chat or anything. It was just regular assholery, but when they're paying for everything it's pretty clear they don't expect to have their BS called out.

I got along much better with the staff than the family.

Also, rich people love paying a ton for almost no food. Was told we were going to a 10 course meal, so I showed up hungry. What a mistake that was. Each "course" was one bite (on an oversized plate), but everyone would cut multiple pieces out of every plate to take the tiniest nibbles. Such a surreal experience. The food tasted pretty good though, I have to admit, but I immediately went and got some fast food when I got home because I was starving.

NoHateOnlyIdiots Report

POST

Hugh Cookson

Hugh Cookson

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

• Report

Ex Michelin Chef here - we don't generally come out FoH as we hate people. If you see a Chef out front, they are narcissists or idiots. Also, if you are doing a 'tasting' menu, it is just that - to give you a taste. If you want a gut buster, bugger off to your all you can stuff into your face place and fill your boots, then go outside and puke it all up, Idiot.

-6

-6points

reply

They have no concept of money or the burden of just going out for a cup of $4 dollar coffee, or needing to conserve gas and not drive around for funzies.

anon Report

POST

There's a whole market based on convincing rich people that they need to pay over the odds for things. You don't just need a pen, you need $500 luxury pen! Need to tell the time? Why not buy a watch that costs more than a lot cars? It's every bit as exploitative as cheap, barely fit-for-purpose products that get marketed towards poorer people.

AlterEdward Report

POST

Matt Smith

Matt Smith

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

I suspect the expensive stuff is less likely to hurt or kill people, though...

2

2points

reply

In my experience they tend to be very untrusting of anyone. Doesn't make for the best relationships.

BlackLetterLies Report

POST

An acquaintance (actually the aunt of the spouse of a family member of mine) worked as a maid (while putting herself through school) to a super wealthy and famous family in a foreign country. They had it all. They spent like no tomorrow, just assuming it would always be there. The dad/grandad was a businessman and I guess was most well known as the owner of a sports team. This aunt acquaintance was basically told to keep her opinions to herself and just do the work. So she mostly did. She knew everything about that family. One of the grown adult grandkids like didn't work. He just lived off off the family. His pastime was napping. She was told to keep some of the cleaning noise down when he was napping.

Anyways. I'm not sure what happened, but the whole thing completely unraveled when the patriarch passed away and I guess there were a bunch of debts he had been just shifting money around to keep at bay. When things went south she like bought furniture off them for pennies on the dollar and furnished her new place real nice.

I guess the kids were able to keep their trust funds or something, but they lost all the real estate and fancy amenities. Anyways, the bottom line is that she rents out a studio apartment to that guy who just likes to sleep. Looks like he's just running down his trust fund. She feels bad for the guy, can't convince him to get a job.

just_an_old_dude_92 Report

POST

You’d be surprised how much illegal activity takes place to be under the radar and out of the eyes of law enforcement to keep the money coming in.

Kashmirri Report

POST

Nolan Spruce

Nolan Spruce

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

I doubt I'd be surprised

1

1point

reply

There is a scene in 'Say Anything' where an IRS agent is talking to the daughter and it perfectly describes their possessions. Everything they had was nice, but not too nice. Expensive small things. Things that cost under $1000. They had computers and tv's and phones and clothes that stood out for the time and area. My ex had a parrot that could talk and for a dog she had a Russian wolf hound. They had art on the wall, but not something they made or liked, but art that had resale value. She had jewelry that wasn't just put in a jewelry box, but locked in a safe.

DarrenEdwards Report

POST

I went out with a girl briefly years ago, and her parents had a good amount of money. I grew up in a small cottage, where we shared rooms and my parents slept in our living room. This girl's place? They had a private sona, and her brother was a given a curved smart TV (must have been like a 50" +) multiple new gaming systems, all tuition paid for university etc. And here I am buying that, and having my student loans all to myself. I think I learned is people take it for granted sometimes what they have, while others value the basics.

Another_Basic_NPC Report

POST

Learned that i’m really, really poor

HellenKeller96 Report

POST

I married my husband who is kore aligned like me but his family is RICH. It is pretty awkward at times. I don't want to touch anything in their house and I truly didn't at first.

Mimi862317 Report

POST

I learned how truly unfair life is.

Preezyy Report

POST