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Woman Learns Her Husband Made Her Family Pay For A Cookout They Attended At His ‘Luxurious’ House While Her In-Laws Enjoyed It For Free
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Woman Learns Her Husband Made Her Family Pay For A Cookout They Attended At His ‘Luxurious’ House While Her In-Laws Enjoyed It For Free

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You think you know a person. But then they disrespect your entire family, and the future the two of you swore to share suddenly doesn’t look so promising.

A few days ago, Reddit user Attic-Lights5475 submitted a story to the popular ‘Am I The [Jerk]?’ community, describing a recent barbeque she supposedly threw with her husband.

At first, everything seemed cool and the woman thought people had a nice time but she then learned that her partner demanded her relatives give him $25 each because their home is so luxurious, it’s kind of a “resort.”

His own guests, however, received no such bill.

The woman wanted to remedy the situation and gave everyone their money back but this only made things worse as her husband accused her of disrespecting him. So she asked the internet if it was wrong to do so.

A couple threw a barbeque at their luxurious home and invited their relatives to join

Image credits: Julia M Cameron (not the actual photo)

But the husband decided his wife’s family needed to pay him for the evening

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Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)


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Coming from humble beginnings is not something to be ashamed of. If parents raise their daughter to be a successful and self-aware person and her husband can’t understand that, of course, she can try to teach him about family values, but is that something a married person has to forcefully learn?

“Any time you feel caught between your partner and your family, it can feel uncomfortable and tense, as though you have to choose sides,” Samantha Burns, dating coach and author of Breaking Up & Bouncing Back, told Elite Daily. “It’s easy to get defensive when talking about this subject, so try not to blame your partner and let them know your hopes, goals, and expectations for family gatherings.”

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However, your partner also needs to be willing to reach some sort of compromise — especially if they know how important it is to you that they connect with your family on some level.

To initiate that conversation, Burns suggested positioning yourself as a buffer to help break the ice between your spouse and your loved ones. “Let your partner know it means a lot to you to see everyone get along and ask your partner how you can help build or improve their relationship with your family,” Burns advised.

Claudia Johnson, licensed marriage and family therapist associate (LMFTA) with the PNW Sex Therapy Collective, told the same publisher that your partner shouldn’t act on their dislike of your family without first discussing it with you. “In a partnership, there’s Partner A and Family A. What happens in that family should be addressed by Partner A. For Family B, [it should be] Partner B,” Johnson explained. “What gets really murky is when Partner A feels the need to resolve something for Partner B that is not respecting their own autonomy, that is not allowing them to be a part of the conversation.”

The fact that the couple isn’t currently talking to one another is not doing them any good. Every marriage experiences conflict. But when that dispute continues—day after day and week after week—is when real problems occur. This applies to even the small issues. “For example, your day starts with a sense of frustration from something that happened the night before,” Nicole Rainey, licensed mental health counselor and co-owner of Mosaic Creative Counseling, said. “Then, a small conflict over the coffee pot or dishes links that conflict to the next conflict about dinner plans or who is picking the kids up from school.” Before you know it, you and your partner are bickering more often than not, to the point where you don’t even realize where one conflict ends and another begins.

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If little things can grow into huge burdens when unresolved, think of the damage this barbeque poses to the relationship.

People think this was not only really inappropriate but that it’s also a huge red flag for the marriage






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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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Beth L
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, honey. Go talk to a divorce lawyer and see just how much of it is "his" house.

nefarious sagittarius
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a person who has a 'fancy' house it would never even occur to me to be such a massive a*****e. The most I might ask of a guest is to bring a bottle of wine or some food if we are going potluck style. If I wanted to make money off of my actual home I'd rent rooms. To charge people just to hang out with me is so narcissistic ... I can't even find words. I hope this person has a prenup and that she runs for the hills away from this abusive, elitist , prick.

Creature Cargeaux
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My family is not well off. We were pretty broke growing up. But we had food, a home & the basics. We got by. My dad instilled in us to never take s**t for granted & he wanted us to understand that we were actually in a better position than a lot of families. He would remind us that there's kids who don't even have shoes or decent clothes, even if they're second hand. My dad taught us the value of money & hardwork. So I was a very humble kid but I did dream of having nicer things as an adult. The things I wished I had as a kid! When I got my house which is on a river in the swamps of Louisiana, more room than I've ever had.. privacy, gorgeous views.. the first thing I did was invite every person I could to come share it w/ me.. I didn't want anything from anyone except their company & for them to enjoy it w/ me. Especially my dad. Hell, I'd have moved my whole damn family in if they didn't still live in Chicago! I couldn't imagine charging them to come to my home! I mean.. WTF?!

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Michael ONeale
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No jerks are easy to deal with...this guy is a Grade A first class a*****e...I should know I'm very good at it myself when I need to but I'd never do something like that. She needs to leave while she can.

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Dancing Armadillo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all charging someone for BBQ is beyond tacky and in poor taste. You need to point out to him that charging means that y’all don’t have the money to pay for the food, ask him are we broke? I bet that will make him think twice. This your house not an Airbnb. I personally would be looking at a lawyer, he was willing to make a quick buck off your family.. what else is he willing to do.

Rachel Betancort
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her husband must be house poor to have to charge guests for a meal. Time for a divorce. I wouldn't even try to save a marriage with a man that did this with my family or friends.

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Pat Bond
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get divorced asap, hopefully take half the house in the process. He's looking down his nose at you and your family. His family may have money but he has no manners or class. Who the f**k actually charges family or any friend for that matter to come over for a bbq!!?? and double down on the awful behaviour by insisting they should treat it like a luxury resort with enjoyable views. Literally sneering at your family. Very bizarre behaviour.

Carney
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a trite saying in psychotherapy that fights over money are never about the money. In many ways, this is true. Your husband is telling you who he is as a person. Sure, it's about money, at least on the surface, but he really is telling you who he is and you might want to listen. He sees himself and his family as above you and your family. He is better, wealthier, etc and you...well, you are not. He will continue to view you as inferior and wanting because you do not come from the same level of money as he does. It's time to take an in-depth honest look at this marriage. Do you really want to be with someone so self-important, so greedy and so superior acting? Take it from me, things will not get better. They will get worse. It may be time to find a good divorce attorney and consider your options. It's clear he considers the house his and his alone, I wonder what else is "his?"

RoanTheMad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. You wonder why they're rich? This is why, they exploit and exploit. take take take and never give. I'd suggest getting a damn good divorce lawyer - but at the same time, do bear in mind that money isn't everything and either way you're better off without that twat.

Alma Muminovic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Take your s**t and leave, and don’t speak to him until he apologizes to your whole family and you. This is just not acceptable behavior and you need to snip it in the butt real quick. He’s an AH and this seems like is gonna be a constant issue/fight just because he thought it was ok to do in the first place. Entitlement is running high here. Just remember if you do decide to divorce you are also entitled to half of everything.

CLG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not sure what's crazier - that a husband would actually behave this way to his wife's family, or that she felt she had to ask if SHE was being the a-hole in the situation.

Michael ONeale
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a few in my family that woulda emptied their beers over his head for askin for money...the poor beer

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JuniorCJ82
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could that flag be any redder? Get rid of him NOW. Abso-f*****g-lutely NTA.

TheDivineMsM
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uh....what??? You married this dude 7 months ago and he doesn't consider it a shared home AND charges people an admission fee to attend an event at the house?!?! Is this some kind of cultural thing? This relationship does NOT have a good foundation at all.

CatWoman312
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His house? Y’all are married…he was a spoiled brat and grew up to be one. I don’t know how anyone can be so entitled and greedy all at once. I don’t see this marriage lasting. Make sure you take half his money and get alimony. Make it worth it.

Denise Lewis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

he earned the money does he work or is he just handed everything from his family? it was supposed to be a family event clearly he doesn't think much of your family. i hope you made sure that your name is added to things this guy is a huge spoiled jerk. i knew a guy that took his girlfriend out for lunch must have been a really cheap place. because he told her in front of everyone that she owed him three dollars for lunch. and she paid him this guy reminds me of that guy. you are married does he not get the concept that when you are married? that things don't belong to just him anymore i see a divorce in the future. i also see when it gets to court that anything acquired during the marriage will be hidden. and he is going to try his hardest to make sure you leave with nothing.

MsLou
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm afraid that even with a divorce lawyer, he will still screw her over :( ugh this guy makes me nauseated

Michael ONeale
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's not worth being sick over...but I'm thinkin a 90 day vacation wouldn't be to much to pay for popin his jaw with a stiff right hook...or two

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SupernaturalPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA he keeps saying it’s HIS house and not OUR house. Dude has issues and you need to seek legal counsel

tecolote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bail. He lit a fire for $275. You're not partners. Be careful and be well.

Austin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Von Miller, a Super Bowl MVP, was dumped by the Broncos because he did this to players at his Halloween party. How would the same rules apply to your husband?

Marco Conti
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes I wonder about the veracity of stories like this one, but then I think of my own families (my wife's and mine) and the s**t they have pulled over the years, and this wouldn’t look out of place. Like the StepFIL that molested house pets (not ours, we live very far away) and one of them had to be put down? Is that extreme enough? or my SIL that took my wife's very traumatic stories of sexual molestation, made them her own and then took the molester to court recounting the stories my wife told her in confidence. My family is a bit screwed up, who isn't? But these people break all the records and make stories like this one seem innocent by comparison.

Sada Singrajphak
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh wow. Your husband is a major AH. Since you guys are married, your family is now his and vice versa. I don’t care how “luxurious” his house is, I am not paying a fee to visit a family member. F him. He can go screw himself. He’s the disrespectful one in this relationship. You did the right thing, I would’ve returned their money too. What a man child. He’s disgusting.

Michael ONeale
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can top that...I wouldn't have paid...he'd ask I'd laugh and go grab a burger and beer and wait your him to say something

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Skylar Jaxx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He didn't just become that way she saw it and overlooked it. Now she a guest in HIS house too.

K Cede
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. I just said this! There is no way this guy all of a sudden became this way. I'm sure she saw it in the beginning and figured it was cute and can handle it (because deep down she's probably an a*****e too). But now that the tables have turned on her family she's "shocked". This situation is a no-brainer, but she's confused and have to turn to the internet for clarification? Her family never really liked the guy (her admission) and I'm sure she knew exactly why. Now she's worried cause he's turning on her. Smh.

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Hoodoo
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are those divorce papers I smell?! Especially nice w/ undertones of spousal support & alimony...I seriously doubt this is the 1st time Hubs has disrespected OP. I hope she gets the picture & lets this mess go ASAP.

Robbie Wilson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My family would assume he was broke since he was asking family for money regardless of how nice the house was. Besides being the ah...he made himself seem like a begger and an object of pity...loose him hon...you can do better.

Dave Hinckley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We used to get a 1/4 keg and charge people $5 a head. Everyone knew it was to pay for the beer. This guy, though, adds a new definition to the AH definition. Run, don't look back.

Rosie Cat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She has a decision to make. She needs to make up her mind with how much is she's willing to take. Is living in a fancy house worth herself respect or leave. This man will not get better as time rolls along. He said, "his house" not "our house" he's told her all she needed to know.

Timothy P
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes your husband is definitely an idiot I see divorce in the makings because if he can be like that now can imagine how bad he's going to get people like that don't care about nobody but themselves he is a self-centered egotistical dingleberry you may want to leave as soon as possible get yourself a lawyer and divorce that sucker but you may not be able to touch the house if inherited it before you got married to his lame a*s

Stannous Flouride
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I __REALLY__ hope she didn't sign a pre-nup and lives in a community property state.

Marla
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a reason why Robin Hood never married the Sheriff of Nottingham

Pamela lamb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No u were not wrong and u won't b wrong when ur divorce lawyer asks for half of everything he is a complete, .... There so many names we could call him but nice and kind are not among them also, make him pay for ur lawyer fees

Amber.exe (She/They)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry but making them pay because they'll never see a view like that. At least they paid for most things he never thought about,this is absolutely ridiculous

Christie Mathis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You said, that's not right. He said yes it is. You got your definitive answer. I'd get the hell out of that relationship as fast as possible. This really does raise alarm bells.

Rachel Betancort
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Husband" implies marriage.. so the house it both of theirs. I would literally divorce my husband over this. Nothing more to say.

Pat Ferryman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never heard of anyone being so ugggggggg. Set him down explain marriage to him if he doesn’t get it I hope you live in a community property state and either take or force the sale of his fancy house.

SilverSkyCloud
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ive been permanently banned from commenting in the aita threads because i asked if a would be tempted to slap someone for making her cook a meal from scratch after working a 13 hour shift, apparently my comment promoted violence lol

Shruti Patel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Means he will humiliate your family at every turn . You should charge him his meals ,laundry, cleaning whatever you do for him. It's only fair. He should know the meaning of earning

Rett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pack your bags and leave. Go back home it’s far enough away for you not to bump into him. Get a divorce. Most people start out together with not much. You probably won’t get much of a settlement, but at least you found out what he really thinks about you. Its sad but time heals and you deserve so much more.

Lisa Pockat Bork
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He sounds like a total a*****e. I would divorce his a*s as soon as possible as he obviously has no respect for you or your family.

Jennifer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is scary. It may not be my place to say so, but I'll say it anyway: you need to protect yourself from him and get divorced asap. That is 100% abusive.

kat lia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

he disrespected you as well. he did not consider you as family. i think you'd better divorced him while it's early and while you don't have kids yet.

Anne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So he pretends to be from a classy fam? Would think they would know if you invite people it's you who foots the bill..... nouveau riche-scum. Also.. please consider divorce.

Della
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nta. Also, talk to a lawyer and you will learn it IS HALF YOUR HOUSE TOO!

Vira
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, his reasoning is that your family is poor, therefore they owe him money to visit his house, that he invited them to visit... Right. Sure. Solid reasoning (seriously, wtf)

K Cede
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From the sound of it, this guy didn't all of a sudden become an A-hole. He was probably always an A- Hole and she chose to ignore it. Now that the tables have turned on her family she's opening her eyes to him. She admitted that her family never really liked the guy. I'm sure they saw the jerk for what he truly was. She married him knowing full well what he was (maybe blinded by his family's wealth?) now she's having buyers remorse. Consult a lawyer and choose better next time.

Alannah Rodriquez
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yea no this is not a relationship I would keep going but wish her the best in her life

Lynda K Ward
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One does not invite people as guests and then charge an entrance fee.

Lynda K Ward
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't invite people as guests and then charge them a users fee for walking in the door. The man definitely needs some therapy or a divorce is in the future.

Garth Bock
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He needs to be taught a lesson. First any housework stops until he pays you to do it (make sure it is double to triple the rate) because it IS HIS HOUSE. Next no ring-a-ding-ding in the bedroom unless he pays for it (set the rate at the thousand area). Make sure he understands that he is going to be charged for your services until he apologizes to your family. Finally, call his mommy and tell her that it was disrespectful to you and your family and if she doesn't get him to apologize then you will divorce him and take him and his family to the cleaners. Remember, don't get even... Get Everything !

kathy parker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I divorce him , he is so selfish and GOD For bid he looses the house someday. I couldn't marry a man like that.there should of been red flags before marriage. .

Lord-Xanthor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are there children, was there a prenup? How long was the marriage? I can see this guy actually charging his own children rent the moment they can speak. As many said, talk with a divorce lawyer now, before this guy gets you pregnant and tries entrapping you, if he hasn't already made the attempt. These are red flags, and it's behavior like this that leads to further abuse and possibly death. Get out while your still able to!

Georgie Gal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

$25 to visit?? Did his parents DELIBERATELY drop him on his head as a child or did all the slaps he got from women for being selfish and probably a pig addle the cells? If any of my family were asked for $25 just to visit, pretty sure after he got laughed at, they'd clean his house out. And I'd probably be driving the truck. OP needs to drop that mess before the slime starts to smell.

Jack McMacken
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd be serving this a hole divorce papers and unless you have a prenup making sure that $275 was paid back to you in multiples of thousands. You married a real loser sorry to say and his parent's should be embarrassed at his behavior.

M Paxton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce his a*s and clean him out, alimony and everything else. Document everything like this that has gone on. He needs to learn what it us like to take from the rich and give to the poor! I don't blame you for giving the money back.

marcie harris
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You said your family does not like to make waves. Is that true for you too? You are an abused woman. It will never change but will get worse. Go file for a divorce now before the abuse REALLY gets going and you wind up in a hospital or cut off from your family. I hope you listen honey because the only way I'd say you're TA is by sticking to an abusive man. RUN. You can not fix him.

John Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This dude is a first class jackass. I hope you didn't sign a prenup. I can only say that the jackass would have ended up in the pool with his money had he pulled that c**p in most Southern families. Narcissistic a*****e.

K Cede
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From the sound of it, this guy didn't all of a sudden become an a*****e He was probably always an a*****e and she chose to ignore it. Now that the tables have turned on her family she's opening her eyes to him. She admitted that her family never really liked the guy. I'm sure they saw the jerk for what he truly was. She married him knowing full well what he was (maybe blinded by his family's wealth?) now she's having buyers remorse. Consult a lawyer and choose better next time.

Not_Tellin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry, but you knew he was a cheap SOB long before this. You don't live with somebody like this and not figure out what kind of person he is.. If you stay with that, it's because you're either a gold digger or deep down inside you're just like him. Either way, you stay because there's something that you like.. You don't get to complain because he turned out to be exactly what you thought he was.

precious presh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good-day everyone, if you agree with me that supernatural controls the natural then here is the right place in finding solutions to all your problems. 1. DO YOU WANT YOUR PARTNER TO LOVE YOU FOREVER? 2. DO YOU WANT YOUR EX-LOVER BACK? 3. Do YOU WANT MARRIAGE COMMITMENT? 4. DO YOU WANT TO STOP A DIVORCE CASE WITH YOUR PARTNER? 5. DO YOU WANT YOUR SPOUSE TO BE ANSWERABLE TO YOU? 6. ARE YOU BARREN, DO YOU WANT FRUIT OF THE WOMB? 6. DO YOU WANT BUSINESS UPLIFTMENT? 7. ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM A DISEASE AND YOU NEED HELP? AND SO MANY MORE, I ASSURE YOU ALL YOUR TROUBLES AND WORRIES WILL BE SOLVED.contact me via ..prophetsolutiontemple @ gmail . com

Plutarch Heavensbee
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I get it, he is a cheapskate. But I believe I read in there that she stole "his" money to pay her family back. She didnt use her own money. So. It sounds like she may be a bit of a money grubber. Though, I'd imagine most of the women defending her are much the same and dont see anything wrong with not having their own income ans spending a mans money.

June Taylor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On my honeymoon my sweet husband told me that he had forgotten his wallet on his way to the church so hadn't paid the minister. I was so surprised and said that the first thing we'd do when we got back would be to apologize and pay him. His response made my stomach drop. He said I'm not going to pay him and you had better not pay him him with my money. (We both worked.) That was the first time that he showed his real self. The rest of the marriage was Hell. Quit blaming her for not recognizing abusive behavior. She had never dealt with this variety, even if she had seen some type before. People growing up in loving families don't search out information on this kind of behavior because they don't need it. She wouldn't be aware except for the pit in her stomach when he said things that made her feel crazy. If you're newly married you think that you misunderstood it that maybe this is what people mean when they talk about couples having different views.

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AnnaB
Community Member
Premium
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Troll entry. People make this stuff up for clicks. I call BS

Beth L
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, honey. Go talk to a divorce lawyer and see just how much of it is "his" house.

nefarious sagittarius
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a person who has a 'fancy' house it would never even occur to me to be such a massive a*****e. The most I might ask of a guest is to bring a bottle of wine or some food if we are going potluck style. If I wanted to make money off of my actual home I'd rent rooms. To charge people just to hang out with me is so narcissistic ... I can't even find words. I hope this person has a prenup and that she runs for the hills away from this abusive, elitist , prick.

Creature Cargeaux
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My family is not well off. We were pretty broke growing up. But we had food, a home & the basics. We got by. My dad instilled in us to never take s**t for granted & he wanted us to understand that we were actually in a better position than a lot of families. He would remind us that there's kids who don't even have shoes or decent clothes, even if they're second hand. My dad taught us the value of money & hardwork. So I was a very humble kid but I did dream of having nicer things as an adult. The things I wished I had as a kid! When I got my house which is on a river in the swamps of Louisiana, more room than I've ever had.. privacy, gorgeous views.. the first thing I did was invite every person I could to come share it w/ me.. I didn't want anything from anyone except their company & for them to enjoy it w/ me. Especially my dad. Hell, I'd have moved my whole damn family in if they didn't still live in Chicago! I couldn't imagine charging them to come to my home! I mean.. WTF?!

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Michael ONeale
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No jerks are easy to deal with...this guy is a Grade A first class a*****e...I should know I'm very good at it myself when I need to but I'd never do something like that. She needs to leave while she can.

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Dancing Armadillo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all charging someone for BBQ is beyond tacky and in poor taste. You need to point out to him that charging means that y’all don’t have the money to pay for the food, ask him are we broke? I bet that will make him think twice. This your house not an Airbnb. I personally would be looking at a lawyer, he was willing to make a quick buck off your family.. what else is he willing to do.

Rachel Betancort
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her husband must be house poor to have to charge guests for a meal. Time for a divorce. I wouldn't even try to save a marriage with a man that did this with my family or friends.

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Pat Bond
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get divorced asap, hopefully take half the house in the process. He's looking down his nose at you and your family. His family may have money but he has no manners or class. Who the f**k actually charges family or any friend for that matter to come over for a bbq!!?? and double down on the awful behaviour by insisting they should treat it like a luxury resort with enjoyable views. Literally sneering at your family. Very bizarre behaviour.

Carney
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a trite saying in psychotherapy that fights over money are never about the money. In many ways, this is true. Your husband is telling you who he is as a person. Sure, it's about money, at least on the surface, but he really is telling you who he is and you might want to listen. He sees himself and his family as above you and your family. He is better, wealthier, etc and you...well, you are not. He will continue to view you as inferior and wanting because you do not come from the same level of money as he does. It's time to take an in-depth honest look at this marriage. Do you really want to be with someone so self-important, so greedy and so superior acting? Take it from me, things will not get better. They will get worse. It may be time to find a good divorce attorney and consider your options. It's clear he considers the house his and his alone, I wonder what else is "his?"

RoanTheMad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. You wonder why they're rich? This is why, they exploit and exploit. take take take and never give. I'd suggest getting a damn good divorce lawyer - but at the same time, do bear in mind that money isn't everything and either way you're better off without that twat.

Alma Muminovic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Take your s**t and leave, and don’t speak to him until he apologizes to your whole family and you. This is just not acceptable behavior and you need to snip it in the butt real quick. He’s an AH and this seems like is gonna be a constant issue/fight just because he thought it was ok to do in the first place. Entitlement is running high here. Just remember if you do decide to divorce you are also entitled to half of everything.

CLG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not sure what's crazier - that a husband would actually behave this way to his wife's family, or that she felt she had to ask if SHE was being the a-hole in the situation.

Michael ONeale
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a few in my family that woulda emptied their beers over his head for askin for money...the poor beer

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JuniorCJ82
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could that flag be any redder? Get rid of him NOW. Abso-f*****g-lutely NTA.

TheDivineMsM
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uh....what??? You married this dude 7 months ago and he doesn't consider it a shared home AND charges people an admission fee to attend an event at the house?!?! Is this some kind of cultural thing? This relationship does NOT have a good foundation at all.

CatWoman312
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His house? Y’all are married…he was a spoiled brat and grew up to be one. I don’t know how anyone can be so entitled and greedy all at once. I don’t see this marriage lasting. Make sure you take half his money and get alimony. Make it worth it.

Denise Lewis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

he earned the money does he work or is he just handed everything from his family? it was supposed to be a family event clearly he doesn't think much of your family. i hope you made sure that your name is added to things this guy is a huge spoiled jerk. i knew a guy that took his girlfriend out for lunch must have been a really cheap place. because he told her in front of everyone that she owed him three dollars for lunch. and she paid him this guy reminds me of that guy. you are married does he not get the concept that when you are married? that things don't belong to just him anymore i see a divorce in the future. i also see when it gets to court that anything acquired during the marriage will be hidden. and he is going to try his hardest to make sure you leave with nothing.

MsLou
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm afraid that even with a divorce lawyer, he will still screw her over :( ugh this guy makes me nauseated

Michael ONeale
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's not worth being sick over...but I'm thinkin a 90 day vacation wouldn't be to much to pay for popin his jaw with a stiff right hook...or two

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SupernaturalPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA he keeps saying it’s HIS house and not OUR house. Dude has issues and you need to seek legal counsel

tecolote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bail. He lit a fire for $275. You're not partners. Be careful and be well.

Austin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Von Miller, a Super Bowl MVP, was dumped by the Broncos because he did this to players at his Halloween party. How would the same rules apply to your husband?

Marco Conti
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes I wonder about the veracity of stories like this one, but then I think of my own families (my wife's and mine) and the s**t they have pulled over the years, and this wouldn’t look out of place. Like the StepFIL that molested house pets (not ours, we live very far away) and one of them had to be put down? Is that extreme enough? or my SIL that took my wife's very traumatic stories of sexual molestation, made them her own and then took the molester to court recounting the stories my wife told her in confidence. My family is a bit screwed up, who isn't? But these people break all the records and make stories like this one seem innocent by comparison.

Sada Singrajphak
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh wow. Your husband is a major AH. Since you guys are married, your family is now his and vice versa. I don’t care how “luxurious” his house is, I am not paying a fee to visit a family member. F him. He can go screw himself. He’s the disrespectful one in this relationship. You did the right thing, I would’ve returned their money too. What a man child. He’s disgusting.

Michael ONeale
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can top that...I wouldn't have paid...he'd ask I'd laugh and go grab a burger and beer and wait your him to say something

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Skylar Jaxx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He didn't just become that way she saw it and overlooked it. Now she a guest in HIS house too.

K Cede
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. I just said this! There is no way this guy all of a sudden became this way. I'm sure she saw it in the beginning and figured it was cute and can handle it (because deep down she's probably an a*****e too). But now that the tables have turned on her family she's "shocked". This situation is a no-brainer, but she's confused and have to turn to the internet for clarification? Her family never really liked the guy (her admission) and I'm sure she knew exactly why. Now she's worried cause he's turning on her. Smh.

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Hoodoo
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are those divorce papers I smell?! Especially nice w/ undertones of spousal support & alimony...I seriously doubt this is the 1st time Hubs has disrespected OP. I hope she gets the picture & lets this mess go ASAP.

Robbie Wilson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My family would assume he was broke since he was asking family for money regardless of how nice the house was. Besides being the ah...he made himself seem like a begger and an object of pity...loose him hon...you can do better.

Dave Hinckley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We used to get a 1/4 keg and charge people $5 a head. Everyone knew it was to pay for the beer. This guy, though, adds a new definition to the AH definition. Run, don't look back.

Rosie Cat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She has a decision to make. She needs to make up her mind with how much is she's willing to take. Is living in a fancy house worth herself respect or leave. This man will not get better as time rolls along. He said, "his house" not "our house" he's told her all she needed to know.

Timothy P
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes your husband is definitely an idiot I see divorce in the makings because if he can be like that now can imagine how bad he's going to get people like that don't care about nobody but themselves he is a self-centered egotistical dingleberry you may want to leave as soon as possible get yourself a lawyer and divorce that sucker but you may not be able to touch the house if inherited it before you got married to his lame a*s

Stannous Flouride
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I __REALLY__ hope she didn't sign a pre-nup and lives in a community property state.

Marla
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a reason why Robin Hood never married the Sheriff of Nottingham

Pamela lamb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No u were not wrong and u won't b wrong when ur divorce lawyer asks for half of everything he is a complete, .... There so many names we could call him but nice and kind are not among them also, make him pay for ur lawyer fees

Amber.exe (She/They)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry but making them pay because they'll never see a view like that. At least they paid for most things he never thought about,this is absolutely ridiculous

Christie Mathis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You said, that's not right. He said yes it is. You got your definitive answer. I'd get the hell out of that relationship as fast as possible. This really does raise alarm bells.

Rachel Betancort
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Husband" implies marriage.. so the house it both of theirs. I would literally divorce my husband over this. Nothing more to say.

Pat Ferryman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never heard of anyone being so ugggggggg. Set him down explain marriage to him if he doesn’t get it I hope you live in a community property state and either take or force the sale of his fancy house.

SilverSkyCloud
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ive been permanently banned from commenting in the aita threads because i asked if a would be tempted to slap someone for making her cook a meal from scratch after working a 13 hour shift, apparently my comment promoted violence lol

Shruti Patel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Means he will humiliate your family at every turn . You should charge him his meals ,laundry, cleaning whatever you do for him. It's only fair. He should know the meaning of earning

Rett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pack your bags and leave. Go back home it’s far enough away for you not to bump into him. Get a divorce. Most people start out together with not much. You probably won’t get much of a settlement, but at least you found out what he really thinks about you. Its sad but time heals and you deserve so much more.

Lisa Pockat Bork
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He sounds like a total a*****e. I would divorce his a*s as soon as possible as he obviously has no respect for you or your family.

Jennifer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is scary. It may not be my place to say so, but I'll say it anyway: you need to protect yourself from him and get divorced asap. That is 100% abusive.

kat lia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

he disrespected you as well. he did not consider you as family. i think you'd better divorced him while it's early and while you don't have kids yet.

Anne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So he pretends to be from a classy fam? Would think they would know if you invite people it's you who foots the bill..... nouveau riche-scum. Also.. please consider divorce.

Della
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nta. Also, talk to a lawyer and you will learn it IS HALF YOUR HOUSE TOO!

Vira
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, his reasoning is that your family is poor, therefore they owe him money to visit his house, that he invited them to visit... Right. Sure. Solid reasoning (seriously, wtf)

K Cede
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From the sound of it, this guy didn't all of a sudden become an A-hole. He was probably always an A- Hole and she chose to ignore it. Now that the tables have turned on her family she's opening her eyes to him. She admitted that her family never really liked the guy. I'm sure they saw the jerk for what he truly was. She married him knowing full well what he was (maybe blinded by his family's wealth?) now she's having buyers remorse. Consult a lawyer and choose better next time.

Alannah Rodriquez
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yea no this is not a relationship I would keep going but wish her the best in her life

Lynda K Ward
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One does not invite people as guests and then charge an entrance fee.

Lynda K Ward
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't invite people as guests and then charge them a users fee for walking in the door. The man definitely needs some therapy or a divorce is in the future.

Garth Bock
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He needs to be taught a lesson. First any housework stops until he pays you to do it (make sure it is double to triple the rate) because it IS HIS HOUSE. Next no ring-a-ding-ding in the bedroom unless he pays for it (set the rate at the thousand area). Make sure he understands that he is going to be charged for your services until he apologizes to your family. Finally, call his mommy and tell her that it was disrespectful to you and your family and if she doesn't get him to apologize then you will divorce him and take him and his family to the cleaners. Remember, don't get even... Get Everything !

kathy parker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I divorce him , he is so selfish and GOD For bid he looses the house someday. I couldn't marry a man like that.there should of been red flags before marriage. .

Lord-Xanthor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are there children, was there a prenup? How long was the marriage? I can see this guy actually charging his own children rent the moment they can speak. As many said, talk with a divorce lawyer now, before this guy gets you pregnant and tries entrapping you, if he hasn't already made the attempt. These are red flags, and it's behavior like this that leads to further abuse and possibly death. Get out while your still able to!

Georgie Gal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

$25 to visit?? Did his parents DELIBERATELY drop him on his head as a child or did all the slaps he got from women for being selfish and probably a pig addle the cells? If any of my family were asked for $25 just to visit, pretty sure after he got laughed at, they'd clean his house out. And I'd probably be driving the truck. OP needs to drop that mess before the slime starts to smell.

Jack McMacken
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd be serving this a hole divorce papers and unless you have a prenup making sure that $275 was paid back to you in multiples of thousands. You married a real loser sorry to say and his parent's should be embarrassed at his behavior.

M Paxton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce his a*s and clean him out, alimony and everything else. Document everything like this that has gone on. He needs to learn what it us like to take from the rich and give to the poor! I don't blame you for giving the money back.

marcie harris
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You said your family does not like to make waves. Is that true for you too? You are an abused woman. It will never change but will get worse. Go file for a divorce now before the abuse REALLY gets going and you wind up in a hospital or cut off from your family. I hope you listen honey because the only way I'd say you're TA is by sticking to an abusive man. RUN. You can not fix him.

John Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This dude is a first class jackass. I hope you didn't sign a prenup. I can only say that the jackass would have ended up in the pool with his money had he pulled that c**p in most Southern families. Narcissistic a*****e.

K Cede
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From the sound of it, this guy didn't all of a sudden become an a*****e He was probably always an a*****e and she chose to ignore it. Now that the tables have turned on her family she's opening her eyes to him. She admitted that her family never really liked the guy. I'm sure they saw the jerk for what he truly was. She married him knowing full well what he was (maybe blinded by his family's wealth?) now she's having buyers remorse. Consult a lawyer and choose better next time.

Not_Tellin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry, but you knew he was a cheap SOB long before this. You don't live with somebody like this and not figure out what kind of person he is.. If you stay with that, it's because you're either a gold digger or deep down inside you're just like him. Either way, you stay because there's something that you like.. You don't get to complain because he turned out to be exactly what you thought he was.

precious presh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

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Plutarch Heavensbee
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I get it, he is a cheapskate. But I believe I read in there that she stole "his" money to pay her family back. She didnt use her own money. So. It sounds like she may be a bit of a money grubber. Though, I'd imagine most of the women defending her are much the same and dont see anything wrong with not having their own income ans spending a mans money.

June Taylor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On my honeymoon my sweet husband told me that he had forgotten his wallet on his way to the church so hadn't paid the minister. I was so surprised and said that the first thing we'd do when we got back would be to apologize and pay him. His response made my stomach drop. He said I'm not going to pay him and you had better not pay him him with my money. (We both worked.) That was the first time that he showed his real self. The rest of the marriage was Hell. Quit blaming her for not recognizing abusive behavior. She had never dealt with this variety, even if she had seen some type before. People growing up in loving families don't search out information on this kind of behavior because they don't need it. She wouldn't be aware except for the pit in her stomach when he said things that made her feel crazy. If you're newly married you think that you misunderstood it that maybe this is what people mean when they talk about couples having different views.

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AnnaB
Community Member
Premium
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Troll entry. People make this stuff up for clicks. I call BS

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