Many restaurant workers are getting sick and tired of clients treating them like pawns on a chessboard. It often seems that customers are feeling a lot of anger and frustration and think that it’s completely normal to take it out on their server. The question is, why do some people believe that they are entitled to act this way?

Melanie Morrison, Ph.D., a psychology professor at the University of Saskatchewan, said that when it comes to demeaning and disrespectful behavior, there are three contingents. First, there’s the issue of social dominance—people believing that they actually deserve to be more powerful and dominant over others. 

According to her, these people are often the leaders in an organization with subordinates lower on a hierarchical structure: "There's still that belief that they have a socially dominant position, they have more power over this individual and they'll treat them in a demeaning way because of that."

The second one includes the slightly marginalized groups that don’t actually hold any socially dominant position in our society. However, if they go to a restaurant, they can suddenly feel in control. "They can become somebody who has been given a bit of power over a server in that moment," Morrison said. "They can treat them in a demeaning way and be powerful in that environment because the conditions allow them to be."

Finally, there are people who are just plain impolite. The professor mentioned that people who fall in this group are just rude and it doesn’t connect to the sense of power at all. 

She added that people who tend to be empathetic to a server’s mistakes are usually those who previously worked in the restaurant business themselves. However, there’s nothing wrong with having certain expectations. 

"If it's something surrounding the food or the environment or something, then you can ask for some changes. … Take a breath. Think about it. Look realistically at the server—is that the server's fault?"

Ever since the pandemic began, there’s a recurring trend: humans appear to have forgotten how to be nice to each other. Especially when it comes to interacting with people whose job is to help and assist another person. 

The lockdowns, isolation, and many other things that came with the pandemic have been with us for so long that it might have left a negative impact on our emotional health. People feel especially frustrated when it seems that life is coming back to normal but new threats and restrictions come their way. It doesn’t take long to realize that this unique situation will be the new normal, and many are still not prepared for it.

Bernard Golden, Ph.D., a psychologist and the author of Overcoming Destructive Anger, told TIME that during this period, people’s threat system is at a heightened level. "During COVID, there has been an increase in anxiety, a reported increase in depression, and an increased demand for mental health services," he added. 

It looks like the easiest targets to vent and express frustration are people who work in the service industry. "It’s displaced anger," Golden explained. "They’re angry about other things but they take it out in those encounters."

He continued: "We don’t filter ourselves as much as we used to. On the internet, people feel like they can say anything. They no longer guard themselves. And I think they transfer that lack of filter into public life. I think from leadership that we’ve had in the last number of years, that’s only been more encouraged."

The treatment restaurant workers are currently getting from such nightmarish customers seems almost unbearable. At the end of the day, it does not matter if people think they’re better or more worthy than everyone else—acting like a total jerk to others should never be justified.