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“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles

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Life can be tough, and we all face our share of struggles. However, occasionally when you share your personal hardship with someone, their response seems so out of touch it makes you wonder if they have ever experienced a real problem.

From clueless comments to downright dismissive remarks, people online have shared instances that perfectly illustrate what happens when individuals who have never faced true adversity try to offer their "support." Get ready to cringe and maybe even laugh at these tone-deaf reactions.

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#1

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles Anyone who says “but she’s your mother!” when you talk about going no contact.

I’m glad you can’t even comprehend needing to cut off an abusive parent for your own well-being, but maybe shut up if you don’t know what it’s like.

Arya_kidding_me , Alex Green/Pexels Report

Final score:

251points

notlikeyou1971 3 months ago

The world famous " but family" guilt trip card! Happens all the time. They don't have to see or put up with the person though.

77points

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#2

This is considered controversial depending on your view on this topic.
I was pregnant with my father's child at 14 ( yes you read that right). I considered an abortion ( was too far along) but once I opened up about my decision, I was told countless of times by people who have NEVER experienced what I was going through and more than likely will never, that I shouldn't do it because "it's part of GoDs PlAn and I should be GrAtEfUL for such wonderful gift" and "there are stories in the Bible of incest so it's okay"

No. This wasn't a gift.
No one, especially someone who is a child should have to go through this.

For those who might be curious Baby A was adopted 7 years ago and is doing great in their home.

irritation12 Report

Final score:

205points

notlikeyou1971 3 months ago

As a SA survivor I will repeat it till the end of time, you should not have to give birth to a baby that you didn't consent to making. Assaults are not a blessing or a gift. They are not a privilege. Anyone who says these things is a delusional nut

271points

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#3

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles When I tried broaching the subject of depression with a friend in hopes that I could tell him about my struggles and he hit me with "depression isn't a thing, people just need to appreciate what they have" which was basically just a "stop being sad, just smile more" argument (i.e. stupid argument) so I just gave up.

People who have never struggled with mental health often can't phantom that it could be a problem.

AlecsThorne , Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels Report

Final score:

203points

ynyrhydref56 3 months ago

Fathom. FATHOM

119points

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We all have highs and lows in life, and having someone to share the joy with or lean on during difficult times makes it so much better. Studies have shown that the support and companionship of friends and family enrich our lives and boost our mental health.

That is why, after spending time with our loved ones, we tend to feel better. Just a single cup of coffee or tea shared with your best friend can turn a bad day into a good one. A talk with your sister or brother might instantly brighten up your mood and bring about comfort and joy.

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#4

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles “I’m sorry that your wife passed away, I just recently got divorced and I know what it’s like to lose someone”.

No. No you don’t. Not even remotely.

Monthra77 , KoolShooters/Pexels Report

Final score:

194points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago

One of my managers after my dad died: "Oh, I'm sorry for your loss. I had to have my 3-year-old rat put down last month, I know how you feel." Dude, no, you don't. I've lost pets (one of my cats was almost 20 when she died) and yes, it's traumatic, and yes, you grieve like mad. But it's NOT the same as watching one's parent slowly decline over the course of 20 years due to catastrophic brain damage/strokes and then finally die of staph/double pneumonia while horrifically gasping for air as you hold their hand. My manager was well aware of my dad's situation and condition and still likened it to his pet rat.

97points

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#5

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles When I told a male friend about how I got catcalled by grown men (at 15) right after it happened and how it affected me, and he went "Just enjoy it" and then proceeded to make fun of the situation.
These men where like 50, I was 15!!!

Nein____ , Luke Miller/Pexels Report

Final score:

180points

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 months ago

BUt iT Is A cOmPlIMeNt tHoUgH!

79points

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#6

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles I had a friend who was incredibly upset with me and started a fight because I “wasn’t there for her” when her friends with benefits called it quits with her. I wasn’t there because my 3 year old was hospitalized with pneumonia, my grandmother died, and I wad 3 weeks postpartum. It was the worst and hardest week of my life. Needless to say I took that as a sign to end the friendship.

shakelcus , Liza Summer/Pexels Report

Final score:

158points

Joshua David 3 months ago

Yeah. Smart.

45points

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Like these posts, many of us often share our problems with those close to us. This could be for advice, emotional support, or to get a different perspective. However, sometimes we don’t know how to comfort someone who's feeling low.

Clinical psychologist Kathryn Gordon points out, “When we are not equipped to support loved ones through a hard time, our discomfort can compel us to point out a bright side or offer a simple solution, which may come across as dismissive.”

#7

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles I started a job about 2 months ago. My dad is 60 and was in the hospital dying and I didn't make it home because I felt like until he was on his deathbed I'd just go on weekends. My current boss told me the day of his funeral "We will be happy to let you make up the days you miss for his death". After returning to work she hasn't said a word to me and was upset I used my bereavement days.

Currently looking for new employment.

milkandcookies21 , Ksenia Chernaya/Pexels Report

Final score:

136points

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 months ago

Talk to HR about the woman.

75points

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#8

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles I was once discussing how expensive rent was with my employer (I'm a nanny, they write my paycheck, they know my financial status). I told them that if I hadn't moved in with my boyfriend and was still in my apartment, I don't think I could afford it because it's increased so much. They said, "It's called inflation, everything is more expensive, our cost to fly has nearly doubled."

They fly private. For leisure and business.

ThirtyLastCalls , Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels Report

Final score:

136points

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 months ago

I hoped you felt sorry for them having pay more to fly.

49points

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#9

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles I'm disabled and have been struggling financially while waiting to get approved on disability. Had a friend tell me how "smart and articulate" I am and she "hates to see me waste it on disability".

Kangaroowrangler_02 , Marcus Aurelius/Pexels Report

Final score:

131points

Turanga Leela 3 months ago

What the... ?!

87points

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Imagine your friend is complaining about something that’s bothering them at work, and you interrupt them and say, “At least they pay you well.” As much as that might be seen as motivation, sometimes people just want to vent their frustrations out verbally. When you tell them not to continue talking, they will end up feeling like they’re being ignored.

#10

When my child was born, he had a liver decease that needed a surgery with only 30% chance of success. Even if the surgery worked my son was hospitalized for almost 150 days throughout the years 2020 and 2021. If the surgery had failed he might have died or required liver transplant.

Through all this ordeal I missed about 12 days of work. I kept getting meetings from my boss telling me that my performance was subpar and that I should leave family problems at home. And that another employee from the company was still performing despite having cancer.

I remember during this ordeal hearing my boss talking with a female employee and her telling him her day was ruined because the starbucks employee didnt get her order right and my boss being so empathetic with her. I was boiling with rage.

flambauche Report

Final score:

126points

Colleen Glim 3 months ago

Tell me you’re in the US without telling me you’re in the US. Hustle culture needs to die already

108points

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#11

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles I was talking to my ex about my aunt who has cancer and she said among several other completely out of touch and insensitive things "you know, you can mentally will yourself out of illnesses like cancer, maybe you should tell her that".

anon , Anna Shvets/Pexels Report

Final score:

125points

Socks Thecate 3 months ago

Which puts the blame on the sick person for being sick. Apparently they can control their cells.

87points

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#12

Back when I was in my senior year of high school I had a series of very serious traumatic events unfold within a few months, and I was a huge mess, I needed support, so I went to my then best friend of 8 years, I told him about the assaults ( SA) about the rumors people were spreading about me, and how I was having very concerning bad thoughts, his response was that he didn’t want to have to stress over me and my emotions, that he wanted to party and get the college experience he was promised and allllll that. No sympathy, just thinking of himself, he came from an incredibly rich family too, basically had no issues other than being gay, and I when above and beyond to defend him, support him, yet he couldn’t offer me a night to just spend with me to make sure I’d be alive the next day. It was awful, I truly don’t think you know how a person really feels about you till something seriously messed up happens to you.

unicornbirth Report

Final score:

108points

Magenta Blu 3 months ago

Exactly this is what everyone usually does. People often say to me i take things too personally and I'm oversensitive and should think only about myself. Support only exists when you have enough money to pay for a personal therapist, otherwhise no one would even notice

22points

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It’s crucial to discern exactly what a person requires, especially in times when he/she is undergoing difficulties. “While putting ourselves in other people’s shoes and treating people how we want to be treated are generally useful principles, they are not always the most effective ways to cultivate compassion. It is hard to imagine being in a situation that you have not actually been in, and people differ in what they find comforting,” Gordon adds.

#13

I was lamenting about my financial troubles to my former employers father, and how I wasn’t sure how I was going to pay my rent.

This a*****e said “I feel you on your financial troubles, son. My home renovation is going over budget, and our elevator is going to cost $15,000 more than we were expecting.”

This f*****g guy told me he was spending what would have been a YEARS worth of rent for me on a friggn elevator.

Rich people have too much.

GozerDaGozerian Report

Final score:

107points

Michael Largey 3 months ago

Well, this conversation escalated.

40points

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#14

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles As someone with lifelong chronic illness, I missed just 2 days from work and my boss had a talk with me and said “I get sick and I still come to work. In the real world you have to push through it”.

I was slowly dying from complications (of a now treated disease!) and she knew that. The audacity.

amalaman , Karolina Kaboompics/Pexels Report

Final score:

102points

Jill Rhodry 3 months ago

Nah, in the actual real world (aka not the US) you have sick leave and pto, and if you've used all that up you can take annual leave, maybe even at half-pay if you want - and then guess what your manager does - manages the work load and staff *shock* I KNOW!

70points

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#15

My ex came from money (grew up in Brentwood). She had maids/butlers growing up.

Our relationship was great until we moved in together. She didn't know how to clean or take care of her menagerie of pets because she always had someone do it for her. I constantly sat her down and explained that it wasn't magically getting done, I was doing it and I needed help.

She cocked her head sideways and said "It shouldn't take you long to do it. *Enter Maid's name* could do all that in an hour."

I realized I was more of "The Help" then a romantic partner and got out.

TheProphecyIsNigh Report

Final score:

100points

LB 3 months ago

"That's great, that means *you* can do it in only an hour!"

58points

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When someone comes to you with a problem, the first thing you should do is listen to them. Let them vent and speak about the things that are bothering them. “I think we all intuitively know that, when we’re deeply listened to by the kind and loving attention of another human being, healing is possible,” believes Lisa B. Nelson, Director of Medical Education at Kripalu. “Through empathic listening, we can actually affect the physiology and psychology of another person.”

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#16

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles This wasn't said in direct response to it, but my former friend said the following knowing full well that I was suffering from depression: "depressed people should just get over it. I had depression and that's what I did."

He was either lying about having depression in the first place or lying about "getting over it", both are equally plausible.

yeetgodmcnechass , Keenan Constance/Pexels Report

Final score:

91points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago

My mom straight-up didn't believe mental illness existed when I was a teen struggling with depression and suicidal ideation. She said depressed people can "just feel better if they WANT to" and suicidal people "just want attention". My dad had to sneak me to see a therapist and help me get (and hide) a prescription for antidepressants (both of which did help, thankfully.) Hilariously enough, now that my mom is 79 and can't handle the fact that she's actually ageing and has no friends (that one is due to her being an a-hole), she's "depressed". She tells me now that she is depressed and suicidal. I can't even describe to you how tempted I am to repeat her words from my childhood back to her, but I won't lower myself to her level.

63points

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#17

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles I have rheumatoid arthritis. Luckily it’s pretty under control. While there are far worse diseases it’s by no means a walk in the park.

When I told my colleague about my health struggles she didn’t hesitate to respond “I totally understand, it’s like when I used to have back acne.”

Yup. Totally the same.

emw515 , Julia Malushko/Pexels Report

Final score:

82points

Moosy Girl 3 months ago (edited)

This one is hard, having health issues is never a contest. While some illnesses can definitely objectively be considered worse than others, how people experience them can be very hard to quantify. Edit: An example: my mom has had cancer. She got incredibly lucky with treatment/recovery, and now occasionally (in the safety of her home) jokes she’d take cancer over a common cold any time.

17points

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#18

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles When I was in college and depressed, I spoke about it to some people at a hangout. My ex's friend told me "Just travel, it makes me feel better every time. This year I went to Spain and Egypt". Yeah, let's just ignore the fact I had no money for therapy, and I should have used that non-existent money to travel, and twice in one year.

BaltazarOdGilzvita , Tomé Louro/Pexels Report

Final score:

78points

Con O Cuinn 3 months ago

This is my problem with the "go to therapy" crowd. Like that s**t is free

48points

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We all yearn to be understood. When we speak with our family or friends and they listen to us patiently, we believe that they are taking us seriously. We feel validated and acknowledged. This not only helps us feel better about ourselves but also fosters a sense of connection with the listener.

#19

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles I lost my career, my wife, and my home, and all of my possessions at the beginning of covid and was functionally homeless and staying with a friend while I got back on my feet (I had been working in Beijing, but was out of the country when the pandemic hit, so China closed the border and I got screwed).

I was telling a friend about my situation, and when I finished talking, he flippantly said, "yeah, it's hurt all of us man. I made $10,000 less in commission than a normal year."

He was a realtor making 6 figures.

PsychonautAlpha , Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels Report

Final score:

78points

Colleen Glim 3 months ago

Muffin!

10points

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#20

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles I told a friend from college that I was living with my parents until I got a job and could afford to rent an apartment in the city, and she said 'but why don't they just buy you a apartment in the city?', and I explained they couldn't afford it, and she said 'But don't they realise it is an investment?'

She is actually very nice, she was just absolutely oblivious at the time that most people don't see buying a home for your kids as a normal thing.

BobBobBobBobBobDave , Maria Orlova/Pexels Report

Final score:

77points

Lara Verne 3 months ago

Let me guess, she was from a rich family?

23points

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#21

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles I was homeless living out of my car. Would come to work before everyone else to get cleaned up before my shift. My manager (whom I confided in about being homeless) said “would it k*ll you to wear make up? You don’t have to look like what you’re going through.”.

ProfessionalMoney634 , Yan Krukau/Pexels Report

Final score:

76points

notlikeyou1971 3 months ago

Id ask the AH if they are going to pay for it! What a douchebag

37points

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Nevertheless, when someone has not gone through what you are experiencing, it might be hard for them to fully understand the intensity of emotions and complexities tied to your situation.

For instance, if you’re dealing with financial difficulties and you confide in someone who never had such issues in life, they might say things like, “It can’t be that bad." This disconnection highlights how much shared experiences can be instrumental in giving meaningful support.

#22

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles When my mom committed s*icide over the summer in high school, I came back and a girl said she understood because she had totaled her car that summer.

Hambulance , Artyom Kulakov/Pexels Report

Final score:

75points

Perfumista Perfumista 3 months ago

Any chance it was a suicide attempt?

30points

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#23

I got SA by a woman.

One of friends I tried to talk to asked if I got her number after since she wanted me so bad.

Omnizoom Report

Final score:

73points

C.O. Shea 3 months ago

Geessuusss! I'm sorry that happened to you... on both accounts.

48points

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#24

I know it’s less “severe” than other problems that I’ve read on here, but I really hate when people invalidate mental struggles. I suffer from depression, and many times, the people I told it to replied with “you’re too young to be depressed” or “depression doesn’t exist, it’s all in your head”. These people never faced a struggle like mine. Truly infuriating.

_GMerlin_ Report

Final score:

73points

Pyxelle 3 months ago

It is NOT less severe. Mental health struggles are REAL and can be debilitating.Stay strong and remember there is help and you are worth it!

42points

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Additionally, they might not be able to give you practical or helpful advice due to their limited understanding. Assume you are grappling with a knotty work problem, and you ask a friend who has never been in the same sort of situation professionally. They may tell you to “speak up” without appreciating the nuanced dynamics of office politics or the possible consequences of your actions.

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#25

Recently, my mom was asking me to forgive my sister and rebuild my relationship with her because it was important for her rehab. I have been asked this numerous times in my life, so I decided to detail out to my mom all of the times she tormented me and abused me. Locking me in closets for hours on end, choking me, she held a knife against my throat, verbally abused me, and would trash my entire room and destroy my stuff. It was never serious enough or bad enough to leave a mark, so nothing happened about it for years. The worst part was that my sister would just laugh through all of it. It wasn't an angry reaction, I was just a toy to mess with. After I detailed out all the stuff she did my mom just said, "How do you think I felt knowing this was going on?"

My mom has claimed she has all this trauma and been through some seriously terrible situations, but this was where I feel she confirmed that she was lying to be the victim. There is no way you can claim you went through abuse yourself and say this.

killerbunches Report

Final score:

72points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago

This sounds like my life, except family members reversed. My sister is my parents' bio child; I am adopted. Sister is mom's golden child and was never even spanked. I was beaten, thrown across the room, cut with knives, verbally and mentally abused, etc.(My dad was an awesome, wonderful parent, but my mom abused him too, yes, even physically.) My sister now tells me that our mom is "lonely" and "has no friends" (gee, I wonder why?) and sister says that I should "spend time with her". My sister says I will "regret it" when my mom dies if I don't spend time with her. HAHAHAHA. No, no I will not. I can guarantee that OP's mom will NEVER understand and will NEVER change her tune about OP's sister; my sister never has in regards to my mom and she WITNESSED my mom abusing me (and our dad.) As an aside to OP's last paragraph - my mom is big on telling everyone how SHE was abused and beaten as a kid and how horrible it was. It obviously didn't stop her from beating and abusing her OWN child.

51points

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#26

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles I live in a nice area, but my wife and I are average income folks without family money. At the bus stop with my kids, another parent asked if they could borrow our housekeeper (we don’t have one) because hers was sick with COVID and the dishes/laundry were starting to stack up. She was in full crisis mode.

Left_Apparently , Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels Report

Final score:

71points

Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 3 months ago

If she was using the bus probably her chauffeur also had Covid.

19points

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#27

Had a wealthy friend (30f) complaining to me about how abusive her "narcissist" mother is... Mom pays her $3600 rent, bails her out of every tough situation, lets the friend use any of her 5+ homes in gorgeous places, free vacations, backup credit card, etc.

What did Mom do that was abusive? Gave her reasonable advice on her dating life and asked her to stop using the credit card to buy worthless garbage on Amazon... In other words, normal mom stuff.

This friend says she knows what it was like to grow up in an abusive home with a single narcissistic parent just like me... Except my parent did not keep food in the house, beat our a*ses, isolated us from friends and family, stole and sold possessions, etc.

Myinsecuritruck Report

Final score:

62points

Anna Ekberg 3 months ago

🤦‍♀️

13points

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You might also feel frustrated or misunderstood when their replies come across as tone-deaf or dismissive. When you share your concerns and receive responses that are disconnected or overly simplistic, you start thinking that the person is taking you for granted.

It’s not helpful to get such dismissive replies, and these posts show how some people have never encountered real problems in life. When responses are superficial and lack empathy, it highlights the differences between your experience and theirs. Ultimately, we should find support from those who genuinely understand and relate to your challenges. Have you ever heard a clueless response? Tell us about it in the comments below.

#28

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles A family friend who was raised ultra privileged and has had a cushy SAHM life for many years, is going through a divorce. As part of the agreement to living in the home, she was told to get a job. She said to us "when will I have time to go grocery shopping?!?!"

My wife and I, who both run businesses, and work full time to support our kid, asked her what she thought *we* did.

dog_eat_dog , Timur Weber/Pexels Report

Final score:

62points

ShyWahine 3 months ago (edited)

After she finds time for grocery shopping, there's also meal preparation,, household chores, laundry, yard maintenance, assisting kids with homework, driving kids to sports practice, and sleep....

19points

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#29

“I know you were close, but aren’t you glad you don’t have to deal with all that drama anymore?”. My sister died this July, that was the response of someone who is now an ex friend.

*editing to add that this friend had never even met my sister, has zero empathy for mental health or addiction, and truly believes we are better off without my sister*.

ThoughtGeneral Report

Final score:

60points

notlikeyou1971 3 months ago

You are better off without that so called " friend"

35points

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#30

As a parent to 2 young kids, I've had people tell me "Oh you're not getting sleep? Just nap when the kids nap". Ironically, the only people who've ever said this have never had kids.

Idontdanceforfun Report

Final score:

60points

Colleen Glim 3 months ago

My oldest daughter didn’t nap from 18 months on. Thanks for the advice. Why didn’t I think of that?

21points

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#31

I went out to lunch with a coworker and she mentioned her boyfriend wasn’t currently working and I said it must be tough to not have him contributing financially to the relationship (I assumed he wasn’t if he didn’t have an income) and she goes “well no he does, he’s a trust fund baby so even tho he’s not working he has a lot of money but we’re all kinda trust fund babies aren’t we?” Meanwhile she is the first person I met who actually has a trust fund and every penny I’ve earned I had to work for myself since I was 16 yrs old.

Final score:

56points

Anna Ekberg 3 months ago

So many rich people are completely clueless about the average persons economic troubles and yet they rule the world. 🙄

20points

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#32

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles My boss at one job couldn’t comprehend why I wouldn’t buy a car with a payment and I had to explain that I couldn’t afford it.

She couldn’t understand that when you’re poor s**t’s disposable. This was back in the day you could drop 2k on a car and drive it for a year or two and go onto another.

She kept saying I was bad at budgeting and maths and was my own worse enemy, but I was making ~$12hr assembling medical devices and my health insurance alone was $500 a month. I was pawning s**t for gas money just to get to work.

Cananbaum , Pixabay/Pexels Report

Final score:

55points

Socks Thecate 3 months ago

Yes, when the a*****e who underpays you pretends you are the one who can't "make it work" the a*****e needs to either stump up for a raise or be gone.

29points

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#33

Was once telling someone how my genuinely obsessed ex bf was stalking me and would show up at bars he had been banned from looking for me and starting fights. One night he walked in, I had my back to the door so I didn't see him, and he slapped the guy I was sitting beside, called me a c**t, and ran out. He has had multiple felony convictions for assaulting strangers and a mountain of charges he slithered he way out of. He was abusive to me when we were together, and full blown stalker when I left. Dude climbed a two story building and punched me in the face while i was on the phone with 911 and had an active no contact order in place.

Anyways, I was telling someone how he was still showing up at the places he knew I spent time about a year after I left him. Their response was, "It's been long enough, you need to set some boundaries and he should respect that."

EXCUSE ME?! Did you miss the part about him being irrational and unstable? You think if I just tell him to leave me alone he'll go away????

ThirtyLastCalls Report

Final score:

54points

Moosy Girl 3 months ago

Having a stalker is another one of those things that is near impossible to fully grasp until it happens to you, no matter how much you’ve read about it in the news, how many podcasts you’ve listened to or movies you’ve seen.

16points

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#34

When my dad attacked my mom with a knife, I took a week off of work to make sure she was okay and safe and that he wasn't coming back to the house to threaten her. When I got back to work my hours were slashed in half and when I asked for them back my boss gave me a 15 minute lecture about how many problems I caused, saying "We all have bad days sometimes, but we still have to come in to work.".

phillillillip Report

Final score:

49points

Luke Branwen 3 months ago

We as a society made a big mistake when we didn't beat to death the 1st person who said something like this.

60points

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#35

My friend's mother started working as a secretary at Comcast in the 80's by walking in and asking if any positions were available. She eventually became "good friends" with one of the founders sons and got access to a bunch of stock benefits and bonuses effectively making her a multi millionaire.

When I was finishing college I was applying for jobs and not getting any calls back and got told by her "Young people don't apply themselves enough! You need to show up early and ask for the job!"

I wanted to say not everyone had a chance to sleep with a rich CEO's son, but held back.

DMMEPANCAKES Report

Final score:

46points

Dread Pirate Roberts 3 months ago (edited)

OP REALLY should've told her that. I bet the look on her face would've been priceless.

24points

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#36

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles I’ve had a lot of odd jobs over the years, especially in my late teens/early 20’s. Most just different kinds of minimum wage stuff. One year when I was on summer break from college I was back home working 3 different jobs. I went on a few dates with a guy who had a trust fund and his parents black AmEx card. One day we’re at lunch together and I was telling him about the absolute random grab bag that was my employment history. Once I finished he looked at me confused and said “do you just really like working?”

There was not another date after that.

tanksandthefunkybun , cottonbro studio/Pexels Report

Final score:

44points

Colleen Glim 3 months ago

No. No I don’t. Sadly, I have an unfortunate eating habit and the grocery store doesn’t take pocket lint and rocks

32points

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#37

Everyone I’ve ever met who expressed surprise that I have student loans. “Oh wow, really? I just assumed everyone’s parents paid for their college.” Ok, you.. are aware many people struggle financially right? “Well I just thought their dad got a second job or something”

MULTIPLE people.

Son_Of_Toucan_Sam Report

Final score:

44points

General Anaesthesia 3 months ago

Is it possible to get to college without ever having heard of student loans? That oblivious to life?

9points

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#38

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles A close friend lost her 21-year-old son, and her “friend” said, “I know how you feel. We had to have our cat put down.”

tnrivergirl , Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels Report

Final score:

43points

C.O. Shea 3 months ago

Repeat after me... "I'm sorry for your loss." And shut up about the dámned cat. 🙄

43points

Kathrin Pukowsky 3 months ago

I had to let the vet put down our family cat Fridolin at age 21. He had been with me since I could form my first memories. Magna Doodle was the only affectionate presence in my miserable life for twelve years until she got cancer and there was no more hope. Tinka Bella reached the age of 19 years, and her loss made me reach my lowest point in life. So I fully understand that the friend BELIEVED she knew how the mother felt after losing her son... but for the love of god, that's just NOT something you say! Why even compare the currently suffering person's loss to your own? You don't need to have "been there" to show sympathy.

5points

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LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago

Wow, just wow. It's astounding how people can think it's "similar." I shared in another comment here how my manager at work said he "understood" about how sad I was that my dad died because he'd had to "put his rat down" the previous month. I've lost pets too and it's traumatizing (I haven't recovered from euthanizing my 20-year-old kitty in 2018; I still cry about it) but it is NOT like losing a family member that you loved.

10points

ThatOneFish She/Her 3 months ago

RIP to the kitty ❤️ And to your dad ❤️

4points

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Catherine Burgin 3 months ago

My brother died and my moms boss (who had been wonderful and so helpful the night he was killed) said to her, on the first anniversary of his death; "Don't you think it's time you got over this", when my mom cried at work. Lost all respect for that woman.

7points

MartiBob 3 months ago

I definitely wouldn't compare a cat loss to a loss of a child, but in a way...cats are your children? I have 1 human child and 2 cat children, and I do think of them all as my "kids". I had to take time off from work to grieve the loss of my last cat being put down due to cancer. It sucks. Either way, you should never say that to someone who lost a child!

6points

Ace 3 months ago

Unless you're a cat owner and not a parent you'll never understand how hard it is to lose a cat.

3points

Moosy Girl 3 months ago

I have a cat that is practically attached at my hip. I’m not sure if I could keep going if I lost her, but I’d still never say the above to someone who lost their son. In fact I think saying “I know how you feel” should just be avoided altogether when someone is grieving a death.

9points

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Regina Holt 3 months ago

"I know how you feel" is never a true statement. I hate when people say that.

2points

Grimhild 3 months ago

Their lack of self-awareness is astounding!

1point

DC 3 months ago

To be fair, there's a lot of humans from however close you look, you won't find a reason not to feed them to a cat.

0points

Leigh Kinnaird 3 months ago

I'm a bereaved parent and have heard this countless times was even on boards for bereaved parents where posters came in about losing their son or daughter and it was a cat or dog. I am a member of one charity that now has to vet potential entrants to ensure they have indeed lost a child due to so many people faking it.

0points

Blue Bunny of Happiness 3 months ago (edited)

Show the friend the Brene Brown video, sympathy versus empathy. Sadly, I don’t think she did one called, you and your friend - which one of you is a tone deaf idiot

0points

Dorothy Reiser 3 months ago

How about this one: I'm sorry. At least you have two other kids at home.

-1point

Steve Hall 3 months ago

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#39

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles I have the kindest friend in the world, but she is very privileged. When one of our friends said she wouldn't be attending our college the next year due to lack of finances (her parents did not have the money but were too "wealthy" on paper for FAFSA), she told her to just ask her parents really nicely. When we tried to explain that no, her parents did not have the money, she doubled down with "but what if you tell them how much it means to you?".

Kartarsh , Pixabay/Pexels Report

Final score:

42points

James016 3 months ago

Plant a magic money tree. That will sort you out.

20points

#40

A girl I know posted herself crying for minutes on her Snapchat story after she *only* got mid level tickets to the Taylor swift concert. “THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER”.

Jalvey_420 Report

Final score:

42points

Niki A 3 months ago

*Said is Sarcastic Southern* Bless your heart!

15points

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#41

One of my absolute best friends once said to me in all seriousness that he was behind his peers because "the average person owns at least two homes and I don't even have one yet".

He was making a six figure salary and still living at home at this point. Meanwhile I was homeless at 16, we sat him down and had a talk.

Colourised Report

Final score:

41points

notlikeyou1971 3 months ago

I suppose some of us are way way below average because we know that we will never own a home

19points

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#42

As the lone parent on my team at work, a colleague asked my opinion about a pay disparity news article. I mentioned something about how pay inequality played a part in many mothers choosing to leave their careers to be a full time parent. My colleague excitedly told me that wasn’t true because her brother-in-law chose to stay at home so that his much lower-paid wife could stay in her profession. She didn’t see the the importance of mentioning that she had very wealthy parents who helped pay her sister’s mortgage.

bad_sandwich Report

Final score:

40points

smugdruggler 3 months ago

Yeah, and "helped pay " her mortgage probably means "PAID her mortgage ".

17points

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#43

My close friend said "he felt the same" when his tinder date (they were not really dating, just chatting) chose another guy, this was after I told him my wife of almost 9 years cheated on me.

No, no you do not feel the same.

themorganator4 Report

Final score:

40points

Michael Largey 3 months ago

And if the friend actually felt the same, he has problems far worse than indicated here.

10points

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#44

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles “You can’t pay for it? Just ask your parents!” Hahaha oh honey. I wish.

lostintheabiss , Lukas/Pexels Report

Final score:

39points

ShyWahine 3 months ago

And she's a full-grown adult who still financially relies on her parents....

6points

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#45

"Being poor is f*****g expensive *uses the terry pratchett boot story as an illustration*"

"Well why don't they just save to buy the more expensive option that will save money in the long run".

TehAsianator Report

Final score:

37points

notlikeyou1971 3 months ago

You have to have money in order to be able to have that opportunity. To some of us. Even being able to have money at the end of the month would be a miracle

23points

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#46

My son was born after 8 years of infertility, but I had him at a slightly more inconvenient time of year.

I was talking about this and some woman said “you should have planned better”.

GlassCharacter179 Report

Final score:

36points

Colleen Glim 3 months ago

Next time, I’ll schedule my births better. I promise

17points

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#47

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles My ex called me crying on Christmas because she asked for an Apple TV, and her parents didn’t get her the newest version….

grungedad , Torsten Dettlaff/Pexels Report

Final score:

34points

James016 3 months ago (edited)

The monsters.

22points

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#48

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles “You don’t have money? Just go to an ATM!”

atreides78723 , Towfiqu barbhuiya/Pexels Report

Final score:

33points

BrownEyedGrrl 3 months ago

This sounds like something a child would say. Years ago, I told my daughter I couldn't afford something. She told me to just write a check.

20points

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#49

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles Lost my brother to an accident nearly 20 years ago. When telling what I considered at the time, a close friend, his response was, " Yeah, I'm going through a tough time right now too. One of my mates just broke up with his girlfriend."
I was too numb at the time to have any sort of reaction, but it turned out to be a remarkable insight into his concept of "problems."
I hope life has adjusted his perspective since then, I wouldn't know, though.

Tempus_Maximus , Andrew Neel/Pexels Report

Final score:

33points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago (edited)

When my dad's accident happened, I was 18. He woke up from his initial coma, but he had sustained catastrophic brain damage in the accident and was clearly going to permanently need 24/7 care. After 6 months he was "ready" to be discharged from the hospital. I had a friend who was a year younger than me, and when I was telling my friend group that my mother and my sister and I had decided that we would care for my dad at home instead of putting him in a facility, she said "Oh, I would NEVER do that for MY parents. Fück THAT. I have my whole LIFE ahead of me! You're about to waste your entire youth for NOTHING." Her family was rich af and her parents weren't abusive or anything that she'd have a reason to not want to care for them. She simply couldn't comprehend that in some families/cultures (like mine), you take care of your family members when they become injured/disabled/elderly, you don't just shove them into a facility and out of sight. And, you know, I actually LOVED my dad. I'd have done anything for him. There was that, too.

20points

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

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#50

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles My friend's aunt is rich and I had to sit and hear her complain to her family about how inflation is so bad she had to buy a BMW X3 instead of an X5 like she originally planned.

Not a single person in the room felt bad for her.

EDIT: Im seeing a lot of comments saying that if she’s downgrading, she’s not rich. I know a handful of rich folks and they STAY rich by setting a budget and sticking to it. I’m 100% sure that if she really wanted to, she could’ve spent the extra scratch. But it was clear at the time that other unavoidable expenses had cut into her car budget.

MindofKB , J3 Media Group/Pexels Report

Final score:

29points

Con O Cuinn 3 months ago

If you're buying a new BMW, regardless of the model, you're rich

22points

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#51

Kind of a downer post but I was really depressed, extremely anxious and s*icidal for about 2 1/2 years. My sophomore year I almost went through with it because o couldn’t take the living I’m constant anxiousness and with my own thoughts anymore.

That next day I woke up and broke down to a teacher and my parents. Now at this time, my family life was really toxic. Thankfully my mom was very understanding and got me into therapy and on some medicine. After 2 weeks of medicine and therapy, I finally starting to feel a tad bit better and my step dad goes “you don’t need to be on that medicine anymore”.

I also remember telling him about a therapy session and how I never called him dad because all of the father figures in my life either left or died. He heard me say this and laughed it off like I was an idiot. It was at that point I realized that that man had no idea about mental health or struggles with it. Which is ironic because now that I’m almost 30 (my mom left him along time ago) I realized that he would benefit immensely from therapy.

Final score:

15points

LB 3 months ago

This whole list is kind of a downer. I don't actually want to read this but you know, anxiety.

9points

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#52

Bipolar 2. In the early 2000s ive attempted to unlife myself a handful of times. Still deal with deep depression to this day.

Person i confided in said "Prfff. I've had depression before. Just focus."
😂.

ComplexPackage117 Report

Final score:

14points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 3 months ago

On what??

3points

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#53

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles I took and autobiographical writing class in college. Several students wrote about their experiences with racism. I started exploring my mental health issues and actually got diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a result of that exploration. Another student wrote about his abusive father.

A girl in the class wrote about how she and her friend in high school argued about which of them should get to date this one guy. This was supposedly the hardest issue she had ever dealt with. It blew my mind.

pulpexploder , picjumbo.com/Pexels Report

Final score:

13points

Kyle Simonson 3 months ago

That might have been all she was comfortable sharing.

27points

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#54

Was dating a girl and I told her about how my buddy had threatened to shoot up his work place so I had to report him and she replied “I’ve also had a bad day” I asked her why and her response? “Cause I’m at work and my balloon decoration keeps falling over”.

TyTyFloweFlowe28 Report

Final score:

13points

ShyWahine 3 months ago

A potential mass shooting vs balloon decorations that keep coming undone - how are the two scenario's comparable?!?

3points

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#55

"Well you obviously aren't trying hard enough if you can't get a minimum wage job after a week of handing out resumes for four hours every day." - My stepmonster.

I'd never had a job before, so my resume was just a bunch of volunteer work and my WIP degree. I also wasn't allowed to apply online to anything even though that's the #1 response I got when I walked into places.

She made me hand out resumes for 8 hours a day every day after that little conversation.

Symnestra Report

Final score:

12points

notlikeyou1971 3 months ago

Go to the library and do all of the job searching behind her back online because most jobs don't want paper resumes these days.

14points

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#56

I was standing next to my mom at my sister’s funeral and I overheard someone telling my mom “oh, I know what you’re going through - I just had to put my 14 year old dog down.” Both my mom & I were too stunned & upset to say anything. Later that same funeral, the priest talked about how all kids need their parents to hold their hands while crossing the street & how that’s literal when they’re younger but metaphorical when they’re older.

My sister was struck by a drunk driver while crossing the street to get back to her apartment (the light was red, so she had the right of way & was using the crosswalk) and later had to be taken off of life support because her injuries were too bad. It’s been 6 years since her funeral and I still get upset thinking about both things.

Final score:

11points

BrownEyedGrrl 3 months ago

I am truly sorry about your sister's death.

7points

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#57

I was a key component in a software development team. I was the only software tester on the team (with 5 developers). Our scrum master and product owner left the business. The business told us to fill the void whilst they looked for replacements. For 18 months I covered the testing, the scrum master role and the PO role. I was worn out, tired, severely underpaid, was sleep deprived as a new father and had just discovered that they weren’t actively looking for replacements….

I went to the head of engineering and told him that I can’t do 3 jobs, the company isn’t doing enough, my pay review resulted in nothing for and he needs to sort this issue (whilst tearing up) as it has gone on for too long. His response was “chill_roller you need to work smarter. Not harder”. And offered no alternative advice or guidance. Dude was a complete f*****t and it still angers me to this day.

Chill_Roller Report

Final score:

11points

Science Nerd 3 months ago

I hope you put all these responsibilities on you resume and was able to walk away from the job.

4points

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#58

Was talking about my issues with OCD, specifically about how irrational and irritating i must’ve been to my boyfriend who i made turn around as we were leaving home because i left my medication on the kitchen counter, and i was CONVINCED the cat would knock it off and the dog would eat it and die. (the medication was where i left it)

coworker goes “oh my OCD is so bad today too like i had to organize all the phone cases cause they were messy and i just couldn’t handle it!!”

like girlie… i was just describing how i thought my dog was going to die and it all be my fault…. not the same….

i get the attempt to empathize but, you gotta see how making OCD sound like simple organizational issues make people with OCD feel real dumb and a bit crazy. i simply don’t bother talking about it to anyone who isn’t my therapist or boyfriend now.

ttombcatts Report

Final score:

11points

Blue Bunny of Happiness 3 months ago

I wish people would stop saying they have OCD, when in fact they’re just really pernickety about cleaning.

8points

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#59

My dear beloved cat Mikey passed away from cancer at the age of 13 in December 2017. I did not come to work that day for obvious reasons. This absolutely devastated me as I had him since he was a baby. He was like a son to me.

I came back after a couple days (I worked in hospitality), and the general manager came up to me and said “So what? Animals die every day. Get back to work”. She knew how much I loved my cat, how heartless of her.

Then she had the audacity to give me a mug that said “crazy cat lady” for Christmas when I was still mourning the loss of my cat. 😡 I threw it in the trash.

F**k you, Deborah.

siobhanmairii__ Report

Final score:

11points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago

My almost-20-year-old cat, Wintressia, died of a stroke in 2018. She'd been diagnosed with kidney failure (CRF/CKD) when she was 14, but was actually maintained really well with meds, diet, and subQ fluids - the kidney failure did NOT kill her or cause the stroke. When I had to have her euthanized the day after the stroke (she was not going to recover and her body temp was fluctuating), my boyfriend looked at me ugly-crying after I'd finally been able to leave the euthanasia-room and my girl's poor body and said "Why are you THIS sad? You KNEW she was going to die. She was almost 20." Yeah, I can't believe I stayed with him after that, either. I've finally come to my senses and I'm GTFOing in the next few months and moving back home. hearthcat1...67dee8.jpg

9points

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#60

When my husband died a woman at my work told me to give it 3 months and I’ll feel back to normal.

Honest-qs Report

Final score:

11points

Regina Holt 3 months ago

Did the months have 30 or 31 days? What an a$$hole.

1point

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#61

"But you have a good job and have a chance of a house? How can you be struggling".

The response I got from a colleague when they found I was in therapy and seeking an autism test.

The_Purple_Ripple Report

Final score:

10points

Blue Bunny of Happiness 3 months ago

Masking, my friend, masking!

4points

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#62

An ex-coworker told me “My uncle died in the other room and yet i got over it” and told me to get over my mourning too. It had been 7 years since my sister passed at that time when they told me this.

My sister passed away when I was a teen and it still hurts. She barely turned 18 and was going to finish high school too. Even after 10+ years of therapy, journaling, and just trying to understand it all, I’m still a mess from it cause she was taken from us too soon.

But my point is: Everyone mourns at a different speed. Don’t ever tell someone to get over it in their mourning. Let them heal at their own pace.

gilgasmashglass Report

Final score:

10points

Widdershins66 3 months ago

🤗🤗🤗

2points

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#63

A few years ago I was telling my long time friend (30year) I was feeling depressed and was contemplating buying a gun for a single purpose.

His response was "good luck with that, fuxxing lib**rds would probably make you wait 2 weeks, this whole liberal state has their head up their a*s"

Mean while he doesn't work and has free healthcare/ snap benefits from the state while he lives rent free in an extra house his mom's owns while giving him a 200 weekly allowance as he rages on about "freeloading illegals"

his brother graduated from Harvard with honors while he doesn't even have his highschool diploma

he yells at people his political opinion and calls himself intelligent debater when they just walk away from him.

The only problems he has come from the silver spoon he has shoved up his a*s.

uselessopinionman Report

Final score:

10points

Regina Holt 3 months ago

OMG! Did he have too much wax in his ears that he didn't hear what you said

1point

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#64

Had a traumatizing birth for my first baby, also faced it alone because of covid restrictions husband wasn't allowed in until the very end and the amount of “oh you'rr fine we ALL actually do it alone and nobody helps” still makes me f*****g angry to think about.

cyberg20 Report

Final score:

10points

Science Nerd 3 months ago

You should never have to go through this alone. I try to count it as a blessing that my Mom passed a week before Covid lockdowns so she was never alone during her time in hospice.

2points

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#65

My fiancée has had bad anxiety when we first met and one of our mutual friends said “just don’t be anxious” when the topic came up.

FmJ_TimberWolf74 Report

Final score:

9points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago

Add it to the list of "just stop being sad" for depression and "just stop feeling like killing yourself" for suicidal ideation! Easy-peasy! /s

12points

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#66

“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles 2008, I was in high school and finally broke down to my parents how bad my depression and anxiety was getting. Neither one of them were very comforting, I supposed they didn’t really know what to say or do. But my dad basically had no reaction until my mom asked if he had anything to say and he just said “yeah, everyone is depressed. We’re in a depressed economy”.

He and I have had our issues but have been able to find common ground now that I’m an adult but I still refuse to ever open up to him again because he is the most emotionally immature person I know.

anon , Monstera Production/Pexels Report

Final score:

9points

#67

An ex friend of mine has never paid a bill in her life, her dad paid for her college and apartment even though they are estranged. Her mom bought her a condo. A mutual friend was talking about her dad physically and emotionally abused her for her childhood and how it damaged her and she went off on a tirade about how her dad ruined her life even though he always supported her and her parents were just divorced.

You can always have trauma from your s**t but don’t try to one up others especially when they had it so much worse.

She also constantly complained that she was forced to get a job.

Kkarotcake Report

Final score:

9points

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#68

I tell people how I have 20 soft tissue injuries like torn ACL, cartilage, etc and they tell me to rub an ointment on it or take Tumeric. I know they don’t have any serious injuries they can relate with.

My favorite is the rolled ankle people who compare not even a high ankle sprain.

Final score:

9points

Con O Cuinn 3 months ago (edited)

I don't know, I think you only get to b***h about these things if you sought treatment and completed the physiotherapy. Looking at you, dad

6points

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#69

Told my friend about my anxiety/OCD, depression, feeling isolated and lonely because of the pandemic and his response was…

“it’s always something with you! Grow up!”

Said this on my birthday… this was 2 years ago and we haven’t spoken since.

Informal-Performer19 Report

Final score:

8points

Michael Largey 3 months ago

Ridding your life of someone like this is one of the better birthday presents.

4points

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#70

My mom recently had emergency open heart surgery and she lives a state away. I wasn’t sure if I should go visit her or if I should wait for her to get out of surgery to help her as I would only be able to take one trip and I have a son I’m responsible for so I felt being there when I was actually needed was more important. Anyway I asked my friend group what their advice was and one friend said “why would you go it’s not like you’re a doctor” I just replied with “wow”. My other friend called me and gave me actual good advice.

avvocadhoe Report

Final score:

7points

Moosy Girl 3 months ago

Lol that’s what one of my bosses told me when I asked if I could leave work early because my mom had just been admitted to the hospital after a stroke.

2points

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#71

My wife was friends with a trust-funder whose grandfather was super wealthy and even started a famous museum you may have heard of. Anyway, my wife was taking part in a community garage sale at the apartment where she was living then, when her friend asked if she could bring over some stuff she never used and wanted to get rid of. One was a very cheap, small screwdriver set; like this.

Anyway, some guy asked the friend what she wanted for it, and she says "Um, $10?" Guy huffed and walked off. She says to my wife "What do I know? I never use tools.".

brock_lee Report

Final score:

6points

#72

I was living paycheck to paycheck. Asked my friend for some financial/budgeting advice. "Well I make sure I can pay all my monthly expenses with half a paycheck".....

snookert Report

Final score:

6points

notlikeyou1971 3 months ago

Absolutely clueless.Arent they?

2points

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#73

When my coworker accidentally came into a bathroom stall I forgot to lock.
Her: aw, what’s going on?
Me: I’ve been going through several year of infertility, giving myself hormone injections, tried multiple surgeries and procedures. The only option we have left is IVF, but we can’t afford it. I’ve been applying to grants but we haven’t been chosen. It is a very real possibility my husband and I won’t ever have a biological child together. I don’t think I’ll experience what it’s like to have his child- My child. I have no idea how accept this.

Her: on the bright side you can r*w dog and never have to be on birth control! *cackle*
I swear my birth control made me gain like 20 pounds!

Never was able to have a baby. But I am doing somewhat better these days. It comes in waves.

perpetual_snackster Report

Final score:

5points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago

I hope OP can consider/afford adoption. If you truly just want *children*, they do not have to be your biological children. I'm adopted and my parents are 100% my parents. There was never a moment when I did not consider them anything except my parents. I can accept that some people want biological children/to actually carry a child in their womb, but I can't fully understand it. It seems that, to some people, there is a difference between "I want to have children" and "I only want children if they have my DNA". (Barring the ability to afford adoption/the legality/ease of adoption where they live, of course, as I know it's not "easy" to adopt a child everywhere and is just as costly as IVF in some places.)

8points

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#74

A woman in her 40's told me that the day she got cut from the volleyball team in high school was the worst day of her life. She's an absolute sweetheart, but when I heard that I was like "Really!? THAT was the WORST day of YOUR LIFE?".

Oldspooneye Report

Final score:

3points

highwaycrossingfrog 3 months ago

Needs more context I think? Unless she was responding in a tone deaf manner to you sharing your own trauma, or otherwise trying to demonstrate imagined hardship, I'd say that is a valid remark. Some people are lucky enough not to go through bad experiences

5points

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#75

A girl i know had a complete meltdown cuz her window of her windshield cracked. Literally saying everything goes wrong for her and how she’s sick of the world.

The crack wasn’t even noticeable. Like she had to point it out.

Sjdillon10 Report

Final score:

0points

ANTIVICTORIA 3 months ago

It just may have been the straw that broke the camel's back.

13points

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#76

The mortgage rates in Canada are rising quickly. Was at a poker game and lamenting about the cost of my mortgage going up.

Another guy at the table is complaining too. Come to find out though. Hes mortgage free. Big time trust fund vibes. And im like thats cool. We can play poker. But don’t act like we in the same boat man. Sure. Same ocean, much much different boats. F*****s on a yacht yelling down to my dingy about how rough the seas are….

SmoothMoose420 Report

Final score:

0points

Widdershins66 3 months ago

Gambling? 🤦 You only gamble what you can AFFORD to lose. Money to burn...

6points

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#77

A friend told me he was really stressed about a situation at work (an international bank).

The situation was an intern from Germany he was hoping to sleep with was returning home, and he was afraid he might not get the opportunity to do so.

Fortunately there was a happy ending and he accomplished his mission before she left.

Final score:

-13points

Alexandra 3 months ago

You must be joking! You MUST be joking! Tell me you're joking!

2points

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Nikita Manot

Nikita's knack for storytelling and creativity has led her into the world of writing. With a robust foundation in business studies, she crafts compelling narratives by seamlessly blending analytical insight with imaginative expression. At Bored Panda, she embarks on an exhilarating quest to explore diverse topics, fueled by curiosity and passion. During her leisure time, she savors life's simple pleasures, such as gardening, cooking homemade meals and hosting gatherings for loved ones.

Nikita's knack for storytelling and creativity has led her into the world of writing. With a robust foundation in business studies, she crafts compelling narratives by seamlessly blending analytical insight with imaginative expression. At Bored Panda, she embarks on an exhilarating quest to explore diverse topics, fueled by curiosity and passion. During her leisure time, she savors life's simple pleasures, such as gardening, cooking homemade meals and hosting gatherings for loved ones.

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

What do you think ?

Magenta Blu 3 months ago

Female child social service worker said to me while I tried to tell her me and my 10 and 12 yo daughters just needed some time off from job and school, for taking care of myself and my daughters who were sexually assaulted by their own father: "I'm sure you know most of sexually abused child victims don't survive the ordeal, because the abuser usually kill them in order to not be discovered, your girls are both alive and well, so you should be GRATEFUL and actually start acting like a RESPONSIBLE parent and go immediately back to work and girls to school or else I wont rest until the family judge get the girls custody revoked from you". After hearing this I realized there is no hope for humanity and i understood why so many desperate mothers take their own lifes along with their children's lifes too. Humanity is not a value and people don't understand about compassion or empathy.

16points

Toujin C'Thlu 3 months ago

Please tell me she got fired. I can't believe that people like this are social workers...

5points

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Carney 3 months ago

I'm a clinical social worker with more than thirty years of experience dealing with child and adult victims of abuse and other trauma. Sadly, far too many people in my field are...well, awful at their job. The truth is that the work can be soul destroying. You witness incredible cruelty and harm. To cope you develop a thick skin and try to distance yourself from the pain others experience. Problem is that you can become so inured to atrocities that you forget you are dealing with human beings. I'm "lucky" (or not) in that I have somehow managed to hold onto my humanity. I care deeply for my clients and will go to the mat every single time if need be. It helps that I was also victimized as a child and then as a young adult. I've been there, done that and will never stop feeling or caring.

2points

LaserBrain 3 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

"Disembodied voice" 3 months ago

I honestly didn't realize how many horrible people were in my life until I was sexually assaulted. The amount of comments I got when I tried to talk about it were horrible. Things like "You're a guy. So you must have enjoyed it." Or "Well women are more likely to be assaulted, so it's fair". A lot of people out there are awful.

8points

Marnie 3 months ago

That makes me SO SAD to hear that, for you and any men who have been on the receiving end of such treatment. I hope you found a way to get support, despite those horrible people.

1point

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Liz The Biz 3 months ago

When I was still married to my ex-husband I told my mother that I was planning on leaving him because he beat me up and left me black and blue regularly. She said I was "talking rubbish" because he was always nice in frint of her and she'd never seen any cuts or bruises on me (he always left my face alone and I always wore trousers and long sleeved tops to hide it because I didn't want any awkward questions or any further trouble). After he had beaten me for the very last time and I had found the courage to leave him for good, I took photos of my battered and bruised body. When I showed her I said, "Now do you believe me?" Her reply, "Oh well I never really liked him anyway."

7points

C.O. Shea 3 months ago (edited)

Tapped out after 50... too depressing. And I realized I was trauma-bonding.

3points

Marnie 3 months ago

My cousin died when she was 19 in a car accident. Still makes me sad 40 years later. My aunt had a total of 13 kids (two were twins including the one who died). Someone cam up to my aunt at the funeral and said, "Well, it's a good thing you have so many other kids," as if my aunt loved this daughter less because she had "spares". And I know 13 kids would be an abomination now, but at the time large families on farms was normal. The kids were great and well loved.

2points

Eastendbird 3 months ago

I had to stop reading this list halfway through because it was so awful.

1point

Patricia Steward 3 months ago

This thread was so depressing, I had to stop reading it.

1point

Stardust she/her 3 months ago

My friend told me that I was being dramatic when I told her about the time my dad dangled me off the fourth floor balcony when I was in 2nd grade because she was sent out of the house to take a walk one time when her mom was mad at her

1point

Thanos'Fingers 3 months ago (edited)

But was she "sent out of the house to take a walk" from the fourth floor? Because that would have an impact.

0points

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SheamusFanFrom1987 3 months ago

These types of list makes me want to play Slipknot's People = Sh*t on an endless loop. I know some may seem innocent enough but jeez -_-"

0points

Black Cat Green Eyes 3 months ago

Slight junior person I worked with sent a dept-wide e-mail insisting that her performance was being sig. impaired (it wasn't) and that we should lose our business for being entirely virtual during COVID (pre-vaccine) or that we should pay her more to work from home . Her household income is more than most of the folks who were at boss-level . .

0points

Soulstorm brew 3 months ago

This list was painful and brought back some terrible memories.

0points

Magenta Blu 3 months ago

Female child social service worker said to me while I tried to tell her me and my 10 and 12 yo daughters just needed some time off from job and school, for taking care of myself and my daughters who were sexually assaulted by their own father: "I'm sure you know most of sexually abused child victims don't survive the ordeal, because the abuser usually kill them in order to not be discovered, your girls are both alive and well, so you should be GRATEFUL and actually start acting like a RESPONSIBLE parent and go immediately back to work and girls to school or else I wont rest until the family judge get the girls custody revoked from you". After hearing this I realized there is no hope for humanity and i understood why so many desperate mothers take their own lifes along with their children's lifes too. Humanity is not a value and people don't understand about compassion or empathy.

16points

Toujin C'Thlu 3 months ago

Please tell me she got fired. I can't believe that people like this are social workers...

5points

Load More Replies...

Carney 3 months ago

I'm a clinical social worker with more than thirty years of experience dealing with child and adult victims of abuse and other trauma. Sadly, far too many people in my field are...well, awful at their job. The truth is that the work can be soul destroying. You witness incredible cruelty and harm. To cope you develop a thick skin and try to distance yourself from the pain others experience. Problem is that you can become so inured to atrocities that you forget you are dealing with human beings. I'm "lucky" (or not) in that I have somehow managed to hold onto my humanity. I care deeply for my clients and will go to the mat every single time if need be. It helps that I was also victimized as a child and then as a young adult. I've been there, done that and will never stop feeling or caring.

2points

LaserBrain 3 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

"Disembodied voice" 3 months ago

I honestly didn't realize how many horrible people were in my life until I was sexually assaulted. The amount of comments I got when I tried to talk about it were horrible. Things like "You're a guy. So you must have enjoyed it." Or "Well women are more likely to be assaulted, so it's fair". A lot of people out there are awful.

8points

Marnie 3 months ago

That makes me SO SAD to hear that, for you and any men who have been on the receiving end of such treatment. I hope you found a way to get support, despite those horrible people.

1point

Load More Replies...

Liz The Biz 3 months ago

When I was still married to my ex-husband I told my mother that I was planning on leaving him because he beat me up and left me black and blue regularly. She said I was "talking rubbish" because he was always nice in frint of her and she'd never seen any cuts or bruises on me (he always left my face alone and I always wore trousers and long sleeved tops to hide it because I didn't want any awkward questions or any further trouble). After he had beaten me for the very last time and I had found the courage to leave him for good, I took photos of my battered and bruised body. When I showed her I said, "Now do you believe me?" Her reply, "Oh well I never really liked him anyway."

7points

C.O. Shea 3 months ago (edited)

Tapped out after 50... too depressing. And I realized I was trauma-bonding.

3points

Marnie 3 months ago

My cousin died when she was 19 in a car accident. Still makes me sad 40 years later. My aunt had a total of 13 kids (two were twins including the one who died). Someone cam up to my aunt at the funeral and said, "Well, it's a good thing you have so many other kids," as if my aunt loved this daughter less because she had "spares". And I know 13 kids would be an abomination now, but at the time large families on farms was normal. The kids were great and well loved.

2points

Eastendbird 3 months ago

I had to stop reading this list halfway through because it was so awful.

1point

Patricia Steward 3 months ago

This thread was so depressing, I had to stop reading it.

1point

Stardust she/her 3 months ago

My friend told me that I was being dramatic when I told her about the time my dad dangled me off the fourth floor balcony when I was in 2nd grade because she was sent out of the house to take a walk one time when her mom was mad at her

1point

Thanos'Fingers 3 months ago (edited)

But was she "sent out of the house to take a walk" from the fourth floor? Because that would have an impact.

0points

Load More Replies...

SheamusFanFrom1987 3 months ago

These types of list makes me want to play Slipknot's People = Sh*t on an endless loop. I know some may seem innocent enough but jeez -_-"

0points

Black Cat Green Eyes 3 months ago

Slight junior person I worked with sent a dept-wide e-mail insisting that her performance was being sig. impaired (it wasn't) and that we should lose our business for being entirely virtual during COVID (pre-vaccine) or that we should pay her more to work from home . Her household income is more than most of the folks who were at boss-level . .

0points

Soulstorm brew 3 months ago

This list was painful and brought back some terrible memories.

0points

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