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“Not A Single Person In The Room Felt Bad For Her”: 50 Tone-Deaf Reactions To Serious Struggles
Life can be tough, and we all face our share of struggles. However, occasionally when you share your personal hardship with someone, their response seems so out of touch it makes you wonder if they have ever experienced a real problem.
From clueless comments to downright dismissive remarks, people online have shared instances that perfectly illustrate what happens when individuals who have never faced true adversity try to offer their "support." Get ready to cringe and maybe even laugh at these tone-deaf reactions.
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#1
Anyone who says “but she’s your mother!” when you talk about going no contact.
I’m glad you can’t even comprehend needing to cut off an abusive parent for your own well-being, but maybe shut up if you don’t know what it’s like.
#2
This is considered controversial depending on your view on this topic.
I was pregnant with my father's child at 14 ( yes you read that right). I considered an abortion ( was too far along) but once I opened up about my decision, I was told countless of times by people who have NEVER experienced what I was going through and more than likely will never, that I shouldn't do it because "it's part of GoDs PlAn and I should be GrAtEfUL for such wonderful gift" and "there are stories in the Bible of incest so it's okay"
No. This wasn't a gift.
No one, especially someone who is a child should have to go through this.
For those who might be curious Baby A was adopted 7 years ago and is doing great in their home.
#3
When I tried broaching the subject of depression with a friend in hopes that I could tell him about my struggles and he hit me with "depression isn't a thing, people just need to appreciate what they have" which was basically just a "stop being sad, just smile more" argument (i.e. stupid argument) so I just gave up.
People who have never struggled with mental health often can't phantom that it could be a problem.
We all have highs and lows in life, and having someone to share the joy with or lean on during difficult times makes it so much better. Studies have shown that the support and companionship of friends and family enrich our lives and boost our mental health.
That is why, after spending time with our loved ones, we tend to feel better. Just a single cup of coffee or tea shared with your best friend can turn a bad day into a good one. A talk with your sister or brother might instantly brighten up your mood and bring about comfort and joy.
#4
“I’m sorry that your wife passed away, I just recently got divorced and I know what it’s like to lose someone”.
No. No you don’t. Not even remotely.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago
One of my managers after my dad died: "Oh, I'm sorry for your loss. I had to have my 3-year-old rat put down last month, I know how you feel." Dude, no, you don't. I've lost pets (one of my cats was almost 20 when she died) and yes, it's traumatic, and yes, you grieve like mad. But it's NOT the same as watching one's parent slowly decline over the course of 20 years due to catastrophic brain damage/strokes and then finally die of staph/double pneumonia while horrifically gasping for air as you hold their hand. My manager was well aware of my dad's situation and condition and still likened it to his pet rat.
Beak Hookage 3 months ago
Wow, how tone-deaf can you get? I've cried over more pet rats than I can count, but if you told me your dad died I sure as hell wouldn't mention it, any more than I'd bring up my dead dog. Heck, I probably wouldn't even say "I know how you feel", because while I've lost a few elderly relatives and a close friend, my dad is still alive and well. As is my mum. I'm so sorry that happened to you is what I am actually saying now. That sounds absolutely horrific. :(
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Alexandra 3 months ago
What is it that makes people want to compare their suffering to someone else's? It's not a contest, you know. Does the death of a father trump the death of a sibling? Does the death of a cat trump or is equal to the death of your dog? What is worse: losing your aunt or your guinea pig? You can't quantify loss.
Marla 3 months ago
I think they are trying to replicate the human emotion of empathy and starting from the wrong end of things
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LastButNotLeast 3 months ago
During my senior year of college, my father became seriously ill and later died of cancer. My professors knew about it and thought it was a good idea to send me to do an internship in the oncology department after two weeks. Before I started, I had a panic attack that I had never had before. Empathy, this unknown.
Breadcrumb. 3 months ago
People don't know what to say during grief and try to relate, often times saying something dumb like this but every dumb thing said feels extra because we are so vulnerable during grief.
Jay Scales 3 months ago
My husband took his l*fe and a 'friend' replied 'Yes, well we had our cat put down, so we're sad too'.
Phantom Phoenix 3 months ago
Jay, I cannot begin to understand how you'd feel about this situation. Have you been getting appropriate help to navigate your thoughts and feelings through this?
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BrownEyedGrrl 3 months ago
After my son died, I was told "I know how you feel. My dog/mom/dad died." No. You will NEVER know how someone feels. Period.
3 months ago
The OP suggests that the death of a spouse is worse than a divorce. My friend and i lost our husbands around the same time. Hers died of cancer; Mine left me for another woman. She got to keep her children; I had to fight for mine$$$. She got life insurance; I had to pay the bills he ran up taking his gf on trips while he had our water cut off, twice. She got the compassion of others; I got whispered about like i did something wrong. She got cards and casseroles; I got another job. I told her I envied her.
ILoveMySon 3 months ago
I hope all is well now. I am sorry for your struggles.
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StrangeOne 3 months ago (edited)
I really don't think some people know what to say that will not make someone grieving feel worse. Everyone is different. Someone prefer the sympathetic condolences. Some people think it's cheesy, disingenuous and overall annoying. Some people need to be around others. Some people need to be alone. I can understand how feeling unsure of what to say can result in saying something tone deaf just to fill in the silence.
WakandaPanda 3 months ago
Yes, yes we do. I've been in both situations and they feel equally as bad !
LaserBrain 3 months ago
Person was trying to be sympathetic and relate. Doesn't realise, probably, that it's not the same. But he's trying to empathize. Give him a pass.
Paul Aguilera 3 months ago
Just because someone suffers a loss different from your own doesn't mean they can't empathize. Your dead granny is about as devastating as my dead cat. A loss is a loss. I loved my cat. I'm speaking purely on emotional attachment. If your dead loved also happened to be financially supportive or something like that, then okay, I guess it's a different kind of loss.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 3 months ago
Some people say things like this because they don't know what else to say, but want to show empathy. At least they're trying.
Ken Schubert 3 months ago
I sat down for a 1-1 meeting with the new CEO. Him: "We were scheduled for two weeks ago. Why did you reschedule?" Me: "My mother died. I was in Florida for her funeral." Him: "Hmm. Anyway..."
Jeremy Bolanos 3 months ago
This is the c**p you get when influencers claim compassion is a weakness. It's not. It's the most powerful thing humans have. Even basic animals we don't even consider sentient show compassion to each other.
Michael Largey 3 months ago
It's not that one kind of these two losses is always more painful than the other. It's that they are so different that comparisons are meaningless.
Karina 3 months ago
When I was 19 a good friend of mine was stabbed to death at 24 while he housesat with my cat. 10 years later my Sister lost her 30 + year old pony to old age. He lived long past his due-date, because of her excellent care. I know she was trying to be emphatic, but no. You do not suddely know how I feel. At all..
#5
When I told a male friend about how I got catcalled by grown men (at 15) right after it happened and how it affected me, and he went "Just enjoy it" and then proceeded to make fun of the situation.
These men where like 50, I was 15!!!
#6
I had a friend who was incredibly upset with me and started a fight because I “wasn’t there for her” when her friends with benefits called it quits with her. I wasn’t there because my 3 year old was hospitalized with pneumonia, my grandmother died, and I wad 3 weeks postpartum. It was the worst and hardest week of my life. Needless to say I took that as a sign to end the friendship.
Like these posts, many of us often share our problems with those close to us. This could be for advice, emotional support, or to get a different perspective. However, sometimes we don’t know how to comfort someone who's feeling low.
Clinical psychologist Kathryn Gordon points out, “When we are not equipped to support loved ones through a hard time, our discomfort can compel us to point out a bright side or offer a simple solution, which may come across as dismissive.”
#7
I started a job about 2 months ago. My dad is 60 and was in the hospital dying and I didn't make it home because I felt like until he was on his deathbed I'd just go on weekends. My current boss told me the day of his funeral "We will be happy to let you make up the days you miss for his death". After returning to work she hasn't said a word to me and was upset I used my bereavement days.
Currently looking for new employment.
#8
I was once discussing how expensive rent was with my employer (I'm a nanny, they write my paycheck, they know my financial status). I told them that if I hadn't moved in with my boyfriend and was still in my apartment, I don't think I could afford it because it's increased so much. They said, "It's called inflation, everything is more expensive, our cost to fly has nearly doubled."
They fly private. For leisure and business.
#9
I'm disabled and have been struggling financially while waiting to get approved on disability. Had a friend tell me how "smart and articulate" I am and she "hates to see me waste it on disability".
Imagine your friend is complaining about something that’s bothering them at work, and you interrupt them and say, “At least they pay you well.” As much as that might be seen as motivation, sometimes people just want to vent their frustrations out verbally. When you tell them not to continue talking, they will end up feeling like they’re being ignored.
#10
When my child was born, he had a liver decease that needed a surgery with only 30% chance of success. Even if the surgery worked my son was hospitalized for almost 150 days throughout the years 2020 and 2021. If the surgery had failed he might have died or required liver transplant.
Through all this ordeal I missed about 12 days of work. I kept getting meetings from my boss telling me that my performance was subpar and that I should leave family problems at home. And that another employee from the company was still performing despite having cancer.
I remember during this ordeal hearing my boss talking with a female employee and her telling him her day was ruined because the starbucks employee didnt get her order right and my boss being so empathetic with her. I was boiling with rage.
#11
I was talking to my ex about my aunt who has cancer and she said among several other completely out of touch and insensitive things "you know, you can mentally will yourself out of illnesses like cancer, maybe you should tell her that".
#12
Back when I was in my senior year of high school I had a series of very serious traumatic events unfold within a few months, and I was a huge mess, I needed support, so I went to my then best friend of 8 years, I told him about the assaults ( SA) about the rumors people were spreading about me, and how I was having very concerning bad thoughts, his response was that he didn’t want to have to stress over me and my emotions, that he wanted to party and get the college experience he was promised and allllll that. No sympathy, just thinking of himself, he came from an incredibly rich family too, basically had no issues other than being gay, and I when above and beyond to defend him, support him, yet he couldn’t offer me a night to just spend with me to make sure I’d be alive the next day. It was awful, I truly don’t think you know how a person really feels about you till something seriously messed up happens to you.
It’s crucial to discern exactly what a person requires, especially in times when he/she is undergoing difficulties. “While putting ourselves in other people’s shoes and treating people how we want to be treated are generally useful principles, they are not always the most effective ways to cultivate compassion. It is hard to imagine being in a situation that you have not actually been in, and people differ in what they find comforting,” Gordon adds.
#13
I was lamenting about my financial troubles to my former employers father, and how I wasn’t sure how I was going to pay my rent.
This a*****e said “I feel you on your financial troubles, son. My home renovation is going over budget, and our elevator is going to cost $15,000 more than we were expecting.”
This f*****g guy told me he was spending what would have been a YEARS worth of rent for me on a friggn elevator.
Rich people have too much.
#14
As someone with lifelong chronic illness, I missed just 2 days from work and my boss had a talk with me and said “I get sick and I still come to work. In the real world you have to push through it”.
I was slowly dying from complications (of a now treated disease!) and she knew that. The audacity.
#15
My ex came from money (grew up in Brentwood). She had maids/butlers growing up.
Our relationship was great until we moved in together. She didn't know how to clean or take care of her menagerie of pets because she always had someone do it for her. I constantly sat her down and explained that it wasn't magically getting done, I was doing it and I needed help.
She cocked her head sideways and said "It shouldn't take you long to do it. *Enter Maid's name* could do all that in an hour."
I realized I was more of "The Help" then a romantic partner and got out.
When someone comes to you with a problem, the first thing you should do is listen to them. Let them vent and speak about the things that are bothering them. “I think we all intuitively know that, when we’re deeply listened to by the kind and loving attention of another human being, healing is possible,” believes Lisa B. Nelson, Director of Medical Education at Kripalu. “Through empathic listening, we can actually affect the physiology and psychology of another person.”
#16
This wasn't said in direct response to it, but my former friend said the following knowing full well that I was suffering from depression: "depressed people should just get over it. I had depression and that's what I did."
He was either lying about having depression in the first place or lying about "getting over it", both are equally plausible.
#17
I have rheumatoid arthritis. Luckily it’s pretty under control. While there are far worse diseases it’s by no means a walk in the park.
When I told my colleague about my health struggles she didn’t hesitate to respond “I totally understand, it’s like when I used to have back acne.”
Yup. Totally the same.
#18
When I was in college and depressed, I spoke about it to some people at a hangout. My ex's friend told me "Just travel, it makes me feel better every time. This year I went to Spain and Egypt". Yeah, let's just ignore the fact I had no money for therapy, and I should have used that non-existent money to travel, and twice in one year.
We all yearn to be understood. When we speak with our family or friends and they listen to us patiently, we believe that they are taking us seriously. We feel validated and acknowledged. This not only helps us feel better about ourselves but also fosters a sense of connection with the listener.
#19
I lost my career, my wife, and my home, and all of my possessions at the beginning of covid and was functionally homeless and staying with a friend while I got back on my feet (I had been working in Beijing, but was out of the country when the pandemic hit, so China closed the border and I got screwed).
I was telling a friend about my situation, and when I finished talking, he flippantly said, "yeah, it's hurt all of us man. I made $10,000 less in commission than a normal year."
He was a realtor making 6 figures.
#20
I told a friend from college that I was living with my parents until I got a job and could afford to rent an apartment in the city, and she said 'but why don't they just buy you a apartment in the city?', and I explained they couldn't afford it, and she said 'But don't they realise it is an investment?'
She is actually very nice, she was just absolutely oblivious at the time that most people don't see buying a home for your kids as a normal thing.
#21
I was homeless living out of my car. Would come to work before everyone else to get cleaned up before my shift. My manager (whom I confided in about being homeless) said “would it k*ll you to wear make up? You don’t have to look like what you’re going through.”.
Nevertheless, when someone has not gone through what you are experiencing, it might be hard for them to fully understand the intensity of emotions and complexities tied to your situation.
For instance, if you’re dealing with financial difficulties and you confide in someone who never had such issues in life, they might say things like, “It can’t be that bad." This disconnection highlights how much shared experiences can be instrumental in giving meaningful support.
#22
When my mom committed s*icide over the summer in high school, I came back and a girl said she understood because she had totaled her car that summer.
#23
I got SA by a woman.
One of friends I tried to talk to asked if I got her number after since she wanted me so bad.
#24
I know it’s less “severe” than other problems that I’ve read on here, but I really hate when people invalidate mental struggles. I suffer from depression, and many times, the people I told it to replied with “you’re too young to be depressed” or “depression doesn’t exist, it’s all in your head”. These people never faced a struggle like mine. Truly infuriating.
Additionally, they might not be able to give you practical or helpful advice due to their limited understanding. Assume you are grappling with a knotty work problem, and you ask a friend who has never been in the same sort of situation professionally. They may tell you to “speak up” without appreciating the nuanced dynamics of office politics or the possible consequences of your actions.
#25
Recently, my mom was asking me to forgive my sister and rebuild my relationship with her because it was important for her rehab. I have been asked this numerous times in my life, so I decided to detail out to my mom all of the times she tormented me and abused me. Locking me in closets for hours on end, choking me, she held a knife against my throat, verbally abused me, and would trash my entire room and destroy my stuff. It was never serious enough or bad enough to leave a mark, so nothing happened about it for years. The worst part was that my sister would just laugh through all of it. It wasn't an angry reaction, I was just a toy to mess with. After I detailed out all the stuff she did my mom just said, "How do you think I felt knowing this was going on?"
My mom has claimed she has all this trauma and been through some seriously terrible situations, but this was where I feel she confirmed that she was lying to be the victim. There is no way you can claim you went through abuse yourself and say this.
#26
I live in a nice area, but my wife and I are average income folks without family money. At the bus stop with my kids, another parent asked if they could borrow our housekeeper (we don’t have one) because hers was sick with COVID and the dishes/laundry were starting to stack up. She was in full crisis mode.
#27
Had a wealthy friend (30f) complaining to me about how abusive her "narcissist" mother is... Mom pays her $3600 rent, bails her out of every tough situation, lets the friend use any of her 5+ homes in gorgeous places, free vacations, backup credit card, etc.
What did Mom do that was abusive? Gave her reasonable advice on her dating life and asked her to stop using the credit card to buy worthless garbage on Amazon... In other words, normal mom stuff.
This friend says she knows what it was like to grow up in an abusive home with a single narcissistic parent just like me... Except my parent did not keep food in the house, beat our a*ses, isolated us from friends and family, stole and sold possessions, etc.
You might also feel frustrated or misunderstood when their replies come across as tone-deaf or dismissive. When you share your concerns and receive responses that are disconnected or overly simplistic, you start thinking that the person is taking you for granted.
It’s not helpful to get such dismissive replies, and these posts show how some people have never encountered real problems in life. When responses are superficial and lack empathy, it highlights the differences between your experience and theirs. Ultimately, we should find support from those who genuinely understand and relate to your challenges. Have you ever heard a clueless response? Tell us about it in the comments below.
#28
A family friend who was raised ultra privileged and has had a cushy SAHM life for many years, is going through a divorce. As part of the agreement to living in the home, she was told to get a job. She said to us "when will I have time to go grocery shopping?!?!"
My wife and I, who both run businesses, and work full time to support our kid, asked her what she thought *we* did.
#29
“I know you were close, but aren’t you glad you don’t have to deal with all that drama anymore?”. My sister died this July, that was the response of someone who is now an ex friend.
*editing to add that this friend had never even met my sister, has zero empathy for mental health or addiction, and truly believes we are better off without my sister*.
#30
As a parent to 2 young kids, I've had people tell me "Oh you're not getting sleep? Just nap when the kids nap". Ironically, the only people who've ever said this have never had kids.
#31
I went out to lunch with a coworker and she mentioned her boyfriend wasn’t currently working and I said it must be tough to not have him contributing financially to the relationship (I assumed he wasn’t if he didn’t have an income) and she goes “well no he does, he’s a trust fund baby so even tho he’s not working he has a lot of money but we’re all kinda trust fund babies aren’t we?” Meanwhile she is the first person I met who actually has a trust fund and every penny I’ve earned I had to work for myself since I was 16 yrs old.
#32
My boss at one job couldn’t comprehend why I wouldn’t buy a car with a payment and I had to explain that I couldn’t afford it.
She couldn’t understand that when you’re poor s**t’s disposable. This was back in the day you could drop 2k on a car and drive it for a year or two and go onto another.
She kept saying I was bad at budgeting and maths and was my own worse enemy, but I was making ~$12hr assembling medical devices and my health insurance alone was $500 a month. I was pawning s**t for gas money just to get to work.
#33
Was once telling someone how my genuinely obsessed ex bf was stalking me and would show up at bars he had been banned from looking for me and starting fights. One night he walked in, I had my back to the door so I didn't see him, and he slapped the guy I was sitting beside, called me a c**t, and ran out. He has had multiple felony convictions for assaulting strangers and a mountain of charges he slithered he way out of. He was abusive to me when we were together, and full blown stalker when I left. Dude climbed a two story building and punched me in the face while i was on the phone with 911 and had an active no contact order in place.
Anyways, I was telling someone how he was still showing up at the places he knew I spent time about a year after I left him. Their response was, "It's been long enough, you need to set some boundaries and he should respect that."
EXCUSE ME?! Did you miss the part about him being irrational and unstable? You think if I just tell him to leave me alone he'll go away????
#34
When my dad attacked my mom with a knife, I took a week off of work to make sure she was okay and safe and that he wasn't coming back to the house to threaten her. When I got back to work my hours were slashed in half and when I asked for them back my boss gave me a 15 minute lecture about how many problems I caused, saying "We all have bad days sometimes, but we still have to come in to work.".
#35
My friend's mother started working as a secretary at Comcast in the 80's by walking in and asking if any positions were available. She eventually became "good friends" with one of the founders sons and got access to a bunch of stock benefits and bonuses effectively making her a multi millionaire.
When I was finishing college I was applying for jobs and not getting any calls back and got told by her "Young people don't apply themselves enough! You need to show up early and ask for the job!"
I wanted to say not everyone had a chance to sleep with a rich CEO's son, but held back.
#36
I’ve had a lot of odd jobs over the years, especially in my late teens/early 20’s. Most just different kinds of minimum wage stuff. One year when I was on summer break from college I was back home working 3 different jobs. I went on a few dates with a guy who had a trust fund and his parents black AmEx card. One day we’re at lunch together and I was telling him about the absolute random grab bag that was my employment history. Once I finished he looked at me confused and said “do you just really like working?”
There was not another date after that.
#37
Everyone I’ve ever met who expressed surprise that I have student loans. “Oh wow, really? I just assumed everyone’s parents paid for their college.” Ok, you.. are aware many people struggle financially right? “Well I just thought their dad got a second job or something”
MULTIPLE people.
#38
A close friend lost her 21-year-old son, and her “friend” said, “I know how you feel. We had to have our cat put down.”
#39
I have the kindest friend in the world, but she is very privileged. When one of our friends said she wouldn't be attending our college the next year due to lack of finances (her parents did not have the money but were too "wealthy" on paper for FAFSA), she told her to just ask her parents really nicely. When we tried to explain that no, her parents did not have the money, she doubled down with "but what if you tell them how much it means to you?".
#40
A girl I know posted herself crying for minutes on her Snapchat story after she *only* got mid level tickets to the Taylor swift concert. “THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER”.
#41
One of my absolute best friends once said to me in all seriousness that he was behind his peers because "the average person owns at least two homes and I don't even have one yet".
He was making a six figure salary and still living at home at this point. Meanwhile I was homeless at 16, we sat him down and had a talk.
#42
As the lone parent on my team at work, a colleague asked my opinion about a pay disparity news article. I mentioned something about how pay inequality played a part in many mothers choosing to leave their careers to be a full time parent. My colleague excitedly told me that wasn’t true because her brother-in-law chose to stay at home so that his much lower-paid wife could stay in her profession. She didn’t see the the importance of mentioning that she had very wealthy parents who helped pay her sister’s mortgage.
#43
My close friend said "he felt the same" when his tinder date (they were not really dating, just chatting) chose another guy, this was after I told him my wife of almost 9 years cheated on me.
No, no you do not feel the same.
#45
"Being poor is f*****g expensive *uses the terry pratchett boot story as an illustration*"
"Well why don't they just save to buy the more expensive option that will save money in the long run".
#46
My son was born after 8 years of infertility, but I had him at a slightly more inconvenient time of year.
I was talking about this and some woman said “you should have planned better”.
#47
My ex called me crying on Christmas because she asked for an Apple TV, and her parents didn’t get her the newest version….
#49
Lost my brother to an accident nearly 20 years ago. When telling what I considered at the time, a close friend, his response was, " Yeah, I'm going through a tough time right now too. One of my mates just broke up with his girlfriend."
I was too numb at the time to have any sort of reaction, but it turned out to be a remarkable insight into his concept of "problems."
I hope life has adjusted his perspective since then, I wouldn't know, though.
#50
My friend's aunt is rich and I had to sit and hear her complain to her family about how inflation is so bad she had to buy a BMW X3 instead of an X5 like she originally planned.
Not a single person in the room felt bad for her.
EDIT: Im seeing a lot of comments saying that if she’s downgrading, she’s not rich. I know a handful of rich folks and they STAY rich by setting a budget and sticking to it. I’m 100% sure that if she really wanted to, she could’ve spent the extra scratch. But it was clear at the time that other unavoidable expenses had cut into her car budget.
What do you think ?
Magenta Blu 3 months ago
Female child social service worker said to me while I tried to tell her me and my 10 and 12 yo daughters just needed some time off from job and school, for taking care of myself and my daughters who were sexually assaulted by their own father: "I'm sure you know most of sexually abused child victims don't survive the ordeal, because the abuser usually kill them in order to not be discovered, your girls are both alive and well, so you should be GRATEFUL and actually start acting like a RESPONSIBLE parent and go immediately back to work and girls to school or else I wont rest until the family judge get the girls custody revoked from you". After hearing this I realized there is no hope for humanity and i understood why so many desperate mothers take their own lifes along with their children's lifes too. Humanity is not a value and people don't understand about compassion or empathy.
Toujin C'Thlu 3 months ago
Please tell me she got fired. I can't believe that people like this are social workers...
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"Disembodied voice" 3 months ago
I honestly didn't realize how many horrible people were in my life until I was sexually assaulted. The amount of comments I got when I tried to talk about it were horrible. Things like "You're a guy. So you must have enjoyed it." Or "Well women are more likely to be assaulted, so it's fair". A lot of people out there are awful.
Marnie 3 months ago
That makes me SO SAD to hear that, for you and any men who have been on the receiving end of such treatment. I hope you found a way to get support, despite those horrible people.
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Liz The Biz 3 months ago
When I was still married to my ex-husband I told my mother that I was planning on leaving him because he beat me up and left me black and blue regularly. She said I was "talking rubbish" because he was always nice in frint of her and she'd never seen any cuts or bruises on me (he always left my face alone and I always wore trousers and long sleeved tops to hide it because I didn't want any awkward questions or any further trouble). After he had beaten me for the very last time and I had found the courage to leave him for good, I took photos of my battered and bruised body. When I showed her I said, "Now do you believe me?" Her reply, "Oh well I never really liked him anyway."
Marnie 3 months ago
My cousin died when she was 19 in a car accident. Still makes me sad 40 years later. My aunt had a total of 13 kids (two were twins including the one who died). Someone cam up to my aunt at the funeral and said, "Well, it's a good thing you have so many other kids," as if my aunt loved this daughter less because she had "spares". And I know 13 kids would be an abomination now, but at the time large families on farms was normal. The kids were great and well loved.
Eastendbird 3 months ago
I had to stop reading this list halfway through because it was so awful.
Stardust she/her 3 months ago
My friend told me that I was being dramatic when I told her about the time my dad dangled me off the fourth floor balcony when I was in 2nd grade because she was sent out of the house to take a walk one time when her mom was mad at her
Thanos'Fingers 3 months ago (edited)
But was she "sent out of the house to take a walk" from the fourth floor? Because that would have an impact.
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SheamusFanFrom1987 3 months ago
These types of list makes me want to play Slipknot's People = Sh*t on an endless loop. I know some may seem innocent enough but jeez -_-"
Black Cat Green Eyes 3 months ago
Slight junior person I worked with sent a dept-wide e-mail insisting that her performance was being sig. impaired (it wasn't) and that we should lose our business for being entirely virtual during COVID (pre-vaccine) or that we should pay her more to work from home . Her household income is more than most of the folks who were at boss-level . .
Magenta Blu 3 months ago
Female child social service worker said to me while I tried to tell her me and my 10 and 12 yo daughters just needed some time off from job and school, for taking care of myself and my daughters who were sexually assaulted by their own father: "I'm sure you know most of sexually abused child victims don't survive the ordeal, because the abuser usually kill them in order to not be discovered, your girls are both alive and well, so you should be GRATEFUL and actually start acting like a RESPONSIBLE parent and go immediately back to work and girls to school or else I wont rest until the family judge get the girls custody revoked from you". After hearing this I realized there is no hope for humanity and i understood why so many desperate mothers take their own lifes along with their children's lifes too. Humanity is not a value and people don't understand about compassion or empathy.
Toujin C'Thlu 3 months ago
Please tell me she got fired. I can't believe that people like this are social workers...
Load More Replies... "Disembodied voice" 3 months ago
I honestly didn't realize how many horrible people were in my life until I was sexually assaulted. The amount of comments I got when I tried to talk about it were horrible. Things like "You're a guy. So you must have enjoyed it." Or "Well women are more likely to be assaulted, so it's fair". A lot of people out there are awful.
Marnie 3 months ago
That makes me SO SAD to hear that, for you and any men who have been on the receiving end of such treatment. I hope you found a way to get support, despite those horrible people.
Load More Replies... Liz The Biz 3 months ago
When I was still married to my ex-husband I told my mother that I was planning on leaving him because he beat me up and left me black and blue regularly. She said I was "talking rubbish" because he was always nice in frint of her and she'd never seen any cuts or bruises on me (he always left my face alone and I always wore trousers and long sleeved tops to hide it because I didn't want any awkward questions or any further trouble). After he had beaten me for the very last time and I had found the courage to leave him for good, I took photos of my battered and bruised body. When I showed her I said, "Now do you believe me?" Her reply, "Oh well I never really liked him anyway."
Marnie 3 months ago
My cousin died when she was 19 in a car accident. Still makes me sad 40 years later. My aunt had a total of 13 kids (two were twins including the one who died). Someone cam up to my aunt at the funeral and said, "Well, it's a good thing you have so many other kids," as if my aunt loved this daughter less because she had "spares". And I know 13 kids would be an abomination now, but at the time large families on farms was normal. The kids were great and well loved.
Eastendbird 3 months ago
I had to stop reading this list halfway through because it was so awful.
Stardust she/her 3 months ago
My friend told me that I was being dramatic when I told her about the time my dad dangled me off the fourth floor balcony when I was in 2nd grade because she was sent out of the house to take a walk one time when her mom was mad at her
Thanos'Fingers 3 months ago (edited)
But was she "sent out of the house to take a walk" from the fourth floor? Because that would have an impact.
Load More Replies... SheamusFanFrom1987 3 months ago
These types of list makes me want to play Slipknot's People = Sh*t on an endless loop. I know some may seem innocent enough but jeez -_-"
Black Cat Green Eyes 3 months ago
Slight junior person I worked with sent a dept-wide e-mail insisting that her performance was being sig. impaired (it wasn't) and that we should lose our business for being entirely virtual during COVID (pre-vaccine) or that we should pay her more to work from home . Her household income is more than most of the folks who were at boss-level . .
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