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Someone Asked “What Is Something You Say To Scammers Instead Of Hanging Up?” And 50 People Gave The Best Responses
According to a recent report by Truecaller, around 68.4M Americans (26%) have fallen victim to a phone scam in the past 12 months. While the numbers are rising, so is awareness, as some of the biggest scams in America are continually exposed in the media to prevent people from falling for fraud. In fact, people opt for various ways of dealing with scammers. Most hang up, others download robocall blocker apps, and, well, some give them a taste of their own medicine.
A while back, someone asked the Ask Reddit community, "What is something you say to scammers instead of hanging up?" Over 15K people jumped on the thread to share their experiences replying to scammers. From funny replies to scammers to scammers getting pranked themselves, people shared how to reply to scammers in many original ways. Hanging up is one way of reacting; however, taking time to respond is, in fact, doing a public service. Sure, you might be wasting your time, but at the same time, you are wasting scammers', meaning less time to find more victims to prey on.
Below, we've compiled some of the best replies from the thread featuring people pranking scammers themselves. Make sure to upvote the responses to scammers you enjoyed the most, and let us know whether you reply to scammers!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
"My grandfather let them do their whole speech for about 20 minutes. He then told them he didn't have his hearing aid in and asked if they could repeat it all. They hung up immediately."
#2
"Had a very pushy insurance salesman want my address so he could meet me in person to better show the value of his products or some nonsense. I gave him the address of a brothel. Got an angry call back a couple of days later saying that I gave him the wrong address. I told him I thought he was looking for someone to screw over and then hung up on him."
#3
"Depends on the scam call. Recently I’m getting a lot of “we’re calling in regards to your recent car accident” I relied on “how dare you! I died in that accident!”"
#4
"Scammer was Indian, I'm Indian, I put on my Indian accent then accused him of putting on a bad fake Indian accent to make fun of me and told him he should be ashamed of himself. It was a few seconds of fun."
#5
"Just start chanting in Latin. Most hang up quickly. One begged me not to curse her family."
#6
"You've reached the FBI telephone fraud division, how may I help you?"
#7
"I once got a scammer to say "I love you too." It was one of those resort/vacation calls and I kept him in the line for his whole spiel. When he asked who else would be vacationing with me, I asked if he would go with me. I was like, ”It will save on airfare because you're already there.” Ended up with him saying he had to end the call and I was like, ”Okay. I love you.” And he reflexively goes ” I love you too". The high point of my life."
#8
"Mr. Smashing Stuff, I'm calling about an accident you were involved in that wasn't your fault."
"Oh it wasn't an accident, I meant to hurt those people."
The pause you get before being immediately escalated to a 'manager' is like a crack to me."
#9
"I whisper into the mic to make them turn the volume on their headsets up then suddenly start yelling."
#10
"I have two things I do. 1) I try to sell them WiFi. I personally have nothing to do with internet services. But I can guarantee that my services are the cheapest in town and seeing as how you called me you must be interested. Now before you think “man I’m really not gonna get as good a deal as I’d like.” I can promise no buffers and high-quality streaming at a fraction. Yes, you heard it a fraction of what you currently are paying, if you just give me your first and last name we can get the ball rolling. No one has ever lasted that one.
2) in a very heavy southern accent. “Now the lord spoke to me today and he told me that I’d be bringing another one of his lambs that had been led astray back into the flock, I’m gonna open this conversation with a prayer real quick.” Most people hang up. Some and very few last through my 10-minute prayer. After that, I go straight into asking about their addictions and why the lord is telling me about how their browser history is causing demons to enter their home."
#11
"I always screech "welcome to shining dragon buffet you place an order" if they ask anything else I get angrier and go "YOU CALL SHINING DRAGON BUFFET, PLACE ORDER OR GET OFF MY PHONE". I'll probably get into trouble one day but its a lot of fun."
Autistic apricot 1 year ago
I hate to be this person but “you’re”. Sorry, it’s bugging me
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too indesicive to choose name 1 year ago
You sure you no want food? We make very good fried rice, very good. I make it with extra spam, just for you, perfect fo spam caller.
Detective Miller's Hat 1 year ago
One of my friends does this, and then she'll start ranting in Chinese. It's pretty hilarious to hear the confusion on the other side.
Anyone-for-tea? 1 year ago
I’d love to do this too, but how do you know it’s a scammer until you answer? So then you’ve lost the element of surprise!
Lupita Nyong'heaux 1 year ago
i have a samsung flip phone and it actually says "suspected spam" on the caller ID. lol
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Eleanor Cummings 1 year ago
My son says ' (Name)'s Mortuary; You stab them, we slab them! Quick hang-up.
Lee Kerr 1 year ago
Back in the 80s I used to have a particularly unpleasant client who’d answer the phone pretending to be an Indian take away. He did the accent very badly so it was obviously him so I’d just say “sorry, wrong number” and hang up before he could explain. When he did eventually answer the phone properly, I apologised for not being in touch earlier but I’d had so many problems getting through and maybe he should get BT to check his line. His wife called into the office one day with a tin of sweets for us all and said she wished someone had done it 10 years earlier.
Snakebite Mcghee 1 year ago (edited)
I usually answer in a heavy Southern accent "Fred's mortuary. You stab'em we slab'em, you slice'em we ice'em."
#12
"Hello, sir. This is the Microsoft Office. We're calling to inform you that your computer is infected with a virus."
"My computer?"
"Yes, sir. And if you do not take steps to correct it we will be forced to shut down your system remotely."
"Which one?"
"What?"
"Which computer? I have a couple."
"The one running Microsoft Windows."
"They all run Microsoft Windows."
"Yes, well, I am showing they are all infected." (you can literally hear him salivate.)
"So you're monitoring my systems right now?"
"Yes."
"Despite the fact that doing so is a violation of multiple federal laws?"
*Click*
OneHappyPuppy 1 year ago
Ooh I had this exact call, can't say I one-upped him but I did get a kick out of trying to make him pinpoint which computer in my house was infected (any info - IP/MAC/what Win OS version it was running etc) it was hilarious until he was fed up and hung up
#13
"Me - do you believe in our lord and savior Jesus Christ? Them - yes
Me - he wants you to quit calling."
#14
"I once saw caller ID (landline days) with a number that I figured was a telemarketer. In a “tough” voice, without saying hello I asked, “Is he dead?” And about a beat and a half later I said, “Because if he ain’t dead, don’t you even think about coming back here.” Then what sounded like a young woman on the other end said, “Um, uh, uh Bye!” Hope she had as much fun telling her friends as I had telling mine."
#15
"I keep them on the phone for as long as humanly possible. I switch up the conversation, ask questions, stray completely off topic, slip in a few personal questions and just do whatever I can do to waste as much of their time as I can. My personal record is over 15 minutes of useless conversation which ended with me trying to proposition the male caller for sex. (For the record, I am a straight male and I assume that the caller was also straight.) I've been able to get an Indian telemarketer named Allen or Alex to give me his real name and location, and one telemarketer to stray from the script and admit that like me, he's also tried drugs. In one instance I was able to get the caller to admit that she hated her job and was only doing it to put herself through school. As much as I despise getting calls, I also try to remind myself that they are human beings, doing a job that everyone hates them for, and they probably hate themselves. I figure, at least perhaps I'll give them something fun to talk about after they get off of work."
#16
"If they are calling about windows and doors, I tell them I live in a tent. "You are calling a tent, did you know this?" If they call about HVAC, I tell them I live in a castle, and we heat it in the wintertime by burning witches."
Betty Walker 1 year ago
had a call about my WINDOWS, me--oh i just got new windown , 5 min of praising me new windows,,no no mam, not that type of windows, not windows and doors..me--oh i got a new door too etc etc, finally no no mam its an operating system..me..they showed me how to operate them , they tilt in to clean etc etc finally NO NO ITS FOR YOUR COMPUTER, ME--WHAT COMPUTER? DONT CALL OLD PEOPLE WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO.
#17
"My new thing is to heavily troll them for as long as possible. If they're going to waste my time with endless calls, well then I'm going to do the same. Here's a good one - I recently encountered a very low-tech health insurance scam that used an actual phone line and not a spoof. I called them back literally over 1000 times for two days straight and eventually got to the main person. He actually pleaded for me to stop calling and apologized profusely, lol it was very satisfying."
#18
"I can't talk right now, I'm actually here to rob the place."
Henry Russell 1 year ago
cool then you need the crowbar 2000. it makes breaking into places easier and quicker
#19
“HELLO, caller number two! You’re on with The Sturge at numbitty 902 WA3DFM. What do you have to say about the Lizard Illuminati?”
#20
"I usually get the duct cleaning guys calling so I will just yell out to my wife and ask if the ducks need to be cleaned. I will respond back that we are good. They will keep pressing and I will keep playing on them eventually I will be like the ducks are cleaned but if they have any fix for the quacking that would help. The call ends right after."
#21
"I pretend to be the dumbest guy in the world.
Them - “You should update your home's security”
Me - “Like how?”
Them - “A camera on the front door is a good st..”
Me (interrupts) - “Front door? My front door is on the side of my house. How will that work? Do you have a side door camera?”
Them - “Yes sir of course. We have many dif...”
Me (interrupts again) - “PHEW! I have looked for so long for a side front door camera salesman. You, sir, are my savior. Are you married?”
#22
"You’ve reached your local morgue, you slice ‘em, we dice ‘em. How can we help you?"
Henry Russell 1 year ago
hello welcome to timmys pizzaeria where yesterdays loss is todays sauce how can i help you
#23
"I used to get a lot of “home security” calls offering alarm systems and cameras. I would of course ask all the curious questions and then lead them to believe I was using the alarm system and cameras to keep people inside the house."
Henry Russell 1 year ago
dont want them escaping again am i right then i have to go through all the hassle of grabbing them and putting bear traps at the top
#24
"I got the IRS call on my day off one day while sitting on the porch. You know the deal. If you don't get X amount of Visa Gift Cards the police will come etc. So I stayed in the line for like an hour playing dumb- like saying which target do I shoot to get the gift cards cuz I'm at the gun range, do I have to drive or can I order online, etc- then since my morning coffee had begun to do its work and it was getting hot outside? So the guy once again told me if I don't comply the cops will come. I say send them. He says oh no, all we need is 2k or whatever it was. I say no again, and this time he tells me the police are on the way. I say where I can see the local station from my house. I'm told they are undercover (why? It's an IRS thing but I digress). I tell him since they aren't here I'll just go turn myself in and that I'm walking there. Cue panic on the other line. Saying everything he can to get me to go to Target (even Walmart works now!), I tell him too late just got to the station (bathroom), and that I'm gonna put him on with the desk clerk so they know how to book me. The dude hung up immediately. Which was a bummer, cuz I was about to pull out a wicked Boston accent and play dirty cop. But instead, I continued with the coffees work.
corgiobsessed00 1 year ago
almost fell for the IRS one they woke me up from a nap on my day off. about had a mental breakdown.
#25
"I only do this if I'm at home... I scream. They stop talking..when they start talking again I scream again. "Sir are you okay?!" "I'm taking a sh*t and I swear it's coming out sideways! Oh god please keep talking it helps!" Then repeat steps one and two until they hang up."
#26
"I sometimes try to sell them stuff. I once spent 45 minutes on a slow day at work trying to sell a 120 kg vibrator to some dude."
#28
"I ask them to confirm my information for security purposes. Breaks their script and they don't know what to say!"
Hawk4scythe 1 year ago
I have done this before the floundering for a line afterwards is so funny
#29
"Flip the script on them. Hello, thank you for returning our call. We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."
#30
"I wait 15-20 seconds in complete silence then let out the loudest god-awful screech I can manage and listen to them scramble to take off their headset in complete panic."
#31
"Just to let you know, by law I'm required to inform you that this is a premium phone line that will be billed directly to your provider. By calling here you agree to accept all charges. Something like that not only gets them to hang up, but they tend to stop calling me after that."
#33
"I usually go for "The person you are calling is deceased and their death is currently part of an ongoing investigation. Please stay on the line as we may need to jot down your personal information." My grandmother picks up every call even when she knows it's a scammer, but she usually just says "Not interested." And hangs up. Showed her my way of doing it one time and she thought I was a crazy person."
#34
"I usually respond with: "Is it your first day?"
"On the job?"
"No, on Earth."
#35
"I was like 8-10 years old and had someone call asking if I was a homeowner. Had them on the phone for 5 minutes straight having them repeatedly explain what a homeowner is. They hung up, I was so proud."
Dana Ondráčková 1 year ago
Asked me simmilar thing And happily wanting to buy all of my properties. I let him speak, then Said "dude, I am 18 yo broke a*s student, I dont even own a car"
#36
"My dad used to get a lot of Viagra salesman. So he pleads with them to stop sending free samples because he's too hard all the time and can't live his life."
#37
"Is this what you wanted to be when you grew up?"
#38
"I tell them my name is Billy Madonna, and I drive a '93 Toyota Paseo. Then I start getting pissed when they tell me they actually CAN'T give me an extended warranty on my car. I mean, why can't you?! YOU called ME, and the machine SAID I could get an extended warranty. THAT IS FALSE ADVERTISING! LET ME SPEAK WITH YOUR SUPERVISOR!"
Ryan Hailey 1 year ago
I say I am mark from Nebraska and that I am 58 and a corn farmer who has trouble using their phone
#39
"My son always tells them "I have a belly button". Leaves them speechless."
Abigail Strong 1 year ago
Now say it in an excited deep man voice like you JUST figured it out.
#40
"I take a deep breath and let out a continuous raspberry. (fart noise with your tongue) for as long as I can. When I stop to take a breath I usually hear "..uh.. hello?" And then I take a big breath again and continue. No one has made it to two full raspberries before hanging up on me."
#41
"Do you tell your friends and family you steal for a living?"
#42
"My favorite one is to just go along with whatever they want, using fake names, then when they ask for my credit card number I tell them it's out in my car in the parking garage, and tell them I'll go grab it, then just put them on hold until they hang up. My longest-ever holder was almost a half hour."
Betta Fish 1 year ago
If they left a caller ID you could call back and then tell them you got the wrong card then do it again
#43
"My dad once got a scam call at dinner saying he won a trip to Orlando or something similar. He replied with the biggest, most excited voice: "ORLANDO! I LOVE ORLANDO! THAT'S WHERE MICKEY IS!! I LOVE MICKEY!!" Then he hung up."
#44
"My brother told me that he sometimes starts to purposely talk in broken English, as soon as he realizes that it’s a scammer. He would pretend to be very interested in whatever they were selling. Then just as it seemed like a sale was certain, he would start asking questions that showed that he really didn’t understand what was being offered for sale or what he has to pay. No matter how much the scammer tries to explain, my brother will at first appear to get it and then will continue not to understand. This goes on until the caller finally hangs up in frustration, sometimes cursing him out first."
#45
"I say OH MY GOD THERE IS A SHARK IN MY HOUSE I HAVE TO GO BYE!!!"
Henry Russell 1 year ago
dont do this you dont wanna be the boy who called OH MY GOD THERE IS A SHARK IN MY HOUSE.
#46
"I just give the phone to my 7yo and he just curses a blue streak."
Jon Rindfleisch 1 year ago
Or tell your kid it's santa calling to ask what you want for Christmas
#47
"Grab a metal skillet, place it on the phone, and bang the thing with a metal spoon. Perfect response."
#48
"Tell them you don't have this common thing they're calling about. For example, calling about windows checking? Sorry, I live in a basement, and I have no windows. My child got in a car crash and I need to pay? It's a miracle, my child has died a few weeks ago and suddenly they're alive and in a car crash! Are you a wizard who can revive the dead? Amazing! Just confuse them and waste as much time as you can, bonus points if you make them feel like sh*t."
#49
"Got a call from a lady who said she can save me hundreds on my insurance. My insurance is $167. So you giving me money now that's sick."
#50
"Ask them for their personal phone number so I can call them on there when I’m off work. Gets hung up pretty quick."
What do you think ?
Yu Pan 1 year ago
"Hold on, I don't actually make any decisions in my household. You can talk to my cat. He runs the house" *Pass phone to my sleeping cat*
OnAFreakingRollercoaster 1 year ago
I actually feel sorry for the people doing the phone calls. I swear if I had that job i would be jumping off a bridge after a half a day. But yeah. They are annoying AF.
lauralett50 1 year ago
Them hello,how are you. Me fine but ,there is blood everywhere,what do you want done with the body. How long before the cleaning crew gets here ? Then : dialtone.
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Headless Roach 1 year ago
"Oh hello, it's great that you called today! I really need to talk to someone about our lord and saviour"
Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
He has many names, but we know him as the Great Skyroach, may the stars shine upon His Holy Exoskeleton for all Eternity, amen.
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that weirdo in ur closet 1 year ago
“Hey um sorry, I have to go to a fish funeral. It drowned. Catch u later?”
SH Holmes 1 year ago
In robot voice, "You have reached [insert phone number here]. If you want to p**s someone off, press 1. If you want to kindly f**k off, press the hangup button."
Red Wyvern Emperor 1 year ago
Might be a bit culturally insensitive, but I always go "Hello, Al Kaida secret recruitment center. We will blow your life up." XD
Steve Kenney 1 year ago
I have the most sure fire way to avoid 99 percent of scam calls. When it's a number you don't recognize...don't answer the phone. It's 2022, not 1987, most of the human population has cell phones. Don't answer the call.
kath morgan 1 year ago
Yeah I’ve given up answering unknown numbers if I’m not expecting a call. Such a high percentage of it is spam now. I also just hang up if I answer one by mistake, no point in “winning”.
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Scarlett 1 year ago
My family had a scammer that kept calling even after my dad cussed them out. So I took matters into my own hands. There’s a particular Rammstein song called Mein Teil and it’s known for—among other things—a particular bit in the middle that sounds like someone screaming in pain. I put my speaker up to the phone and played it full blast. They never called back.
Sami-Jo Ross 1 year ago
My dad once got a scam call and answered with "City morgue, you stab em, we slab em" and I actually heard the dude on the other end yell "aw HELL nah" and hang up.
Lace Neil 1 year ago
Lol. My mum was a nurse before she retired, she just says, "let me tell you about my bowels" before going into horrifying medical speak on the subject of bowels. No-one has ever stayed the course.
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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
Related to the "whisper, then yell" one: talk quiet till they're straining to hear. Then, blow an air horn into the phone. HOOOOONNNKKKK! 😈
Rodney McKay 1 year ago
Then, get your phone repaired because you destroyed the microphone.
Load More Replies... Karma Black 1 year ago
In clear, unaccented American English: "Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I can neither speak nor understand English."
Rachel Reynolds 1 year ago
I took one semester of Russian in college, so when I get a telemarketer I recite Russian poetry in response to anything they say. Them: May I speak to the home owner? Me: Ночь, улица, фонарь, аптека. (Literally all I can say in Russian is this poem, "vodka please" and "I am the machine!"
Lyone Fein 1 year ago
Thank you for all of these ideas. My 81 year old mother is very frustrated and annoyed by all the scam calls she gets. I will share some of these strategies with her.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
With my inlaws I taught them to use text and whatsapp only as first port of call even with their friends. They eventually got it. Once their friends were doing that as a protocol (text first), they were able to ditch their landline and ignore calls thereafter.
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Zedrapazia 1 year ago
A good friend of mine usually just starts quoting random videogame dialogues until the salesperson on the phone is so confused they just hang up. Nobody made it past her Final Fantasy VII dialogue so far.
Cat Dragon 9 months ago
I need to try this. "Hey, so I've come to call you about your cars extended warran--" you'll get the hang of it eventually. It's like riding a bike. Except the bike turns into a pastel horned devil. And you're the bike. "Extended warranty -" hello, I am the canonical npc "wa--" Nice weather today right "warran--" RIGHT "...ty."
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theoneandonlynoira 1 year ago
I say "I've done it, but there's so much blood!" and then hang up. Occasionally I wait to hear the sweet sound of confusion.
Bhava Vanathi 1 year ago
I just pretend to be a Karen. Them: Hallo, Your Daughter was in a accident. Me: EXCUSE ME!!! DID YOU JUST ASSUME THE GENDER OF THEM. HOW DARE YOU?? I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!! Them: Mam, calm down! Me: HOW DARE YOU ASSUME I'M FEMALE?! I AM A THEY/THEM!!!!
tuzdayschild 1 year ago
My brother-in-law tells them he's listening, but as soon as they start talking he interrupts at the top of his lungs: "Excuse me, IF YOU KIDS DON'T STOP THAT NOISE I'M COMING IN THERE! I'm sorry, continue. I MEAN IT, YOU BETTER SHUT UP NOW! Go ahead, you were saying. THAT IS IT, I AM GOING TO COME IN THERE AND BREAK BONES!" This just escalates until the scammer hangs up. P.S. My sister and her husband don't have any kids in their house.
Unnamed Hooman 1 year ago
“So now that we’re besties, I can tell you my secret talent! I’m really good at impressions! *do some bad impressions* alright, now my best one, a dial tone!” *hang up*
Unnamed Hooman 1 year ago
I got my first ever scam call yesterday! Unfortunately I couldn’t toy with them because it was prerecorded so I just said “Bruh” and hung up
The Doom Song 1 year ago
"Ooh you sound hot what are you wearing?" I had a guy hang up on me but then called back to asked me on a date. Funniest part was I was at work
Cat Dragon 9 months ago
I never experienced that, but if it happened, I'd be like "hey you wanna hear about cassette beasts? Cool ok so..." and I proceed to explain the entirety of cassette beasts. If they somehow make it through that, then I'm going on a Warriors rant about how mapleshade's kits technically should have gone to the dark forest and that queens shouldn't tell their kits that if they're bad tigerstar will get them
Cat Dragon 9 months ago
And remember, if all else fails, sing something annoying
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CrazyCatChild (She/They) 10 months ago
My choir teacher will pretend to only speak Spanish, and my Mariachi teacher has everyone in the class play their instruments really loud.
lonely miso 1 year ago
"Welcome to Laser Headed Screaming Duck! What would you like to order?"
Rhianna Hollowaye 1 year ago
Random Latin screaming is my personal favourite, closely followed by reciting the illiad nonstop until the go away
BravePanda 1 year ago
"Exotic Butters, our special today is Mongolian yak butter with Himalayan pink salt. How may I place your order? We also are running a special on our Icelandic butters, we have three included in our newest sampler set. What part of the world would you like to visit today?"
memyselfandI 1 year ago
I’ve never managed to catch a scam caller in the wild, unfortunately. All I get are bots.
Hello_my_name_is_Genevieve 1 year ago
We need to differenciate telemarketers and scammers, though. Most of the formers are just trying to do their job. Been there ages ago; I did not last one day. It is a tough job.
The Mom 1 year ago (edited)
I always lead the conversation to sex. They mumble an little and hang up. . One of my sons answers the phone using a foreign accent and says, "Thank you for calling SuddenLink. My name is Kevin how may I help you today?" (SuddenLink is our local internet provider) He then tries to sell them different packages if they haven't already hung up.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
When an Internet provider calls hawking its service, I always reply "I have a theory about the Internet." "What is it?" "I don't believe that it's possible."
LuLikesGoats They/them 1 year ago
I do this creepy demon voice that sounds kinda robotic and they always give up when I say something like "you have reached h3ll, how can I help you?"
mcborge1 1 year ago
I have a downstairs toilet which is very handy when scammers call as I grab some water from the kitchen, usually from the kettle if it still has any water in it then I go into the toilet and start slowly pouring the water into the bowl whilst whistling loudly, only stopping when they stop talking. Throwing a few grunts and fake farts into the mix helps set the scene too. :D :D
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 1 year ago
I have mixed feelings about this. It's certainly fun to do, but the vast majority of these people are just doing their job. Granted, the telemarketing industry shouldn't even exist, but I don't want to be mean/ruin the day of some random person just trying to earn a paycheck.
Rodney McKay 1 year ago
"Just doing my job" is the absolute WORST excuse for bad behavior that has ever been invented.
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mhoulden 1 year ago (edited)
A few I've used: "I would like to buy a conservatory but I live in a second floor flat. Do you do them with stilts?" "Hello, I'm calling from $company and there's a problem with your account." "There certainly is. I haven't got one." "I work for fraud investigations. Could you confirm a few details please?" Then there was the person who put the phone next to a radio and had the caller talking to the interviewer.
Pieter LeGrande 1 year ago
Not a scam, but just as annoying. My work phone was one digit different to the local bakery. Every day I'd get a call from some little old lady " Hello my name Doris, I'd like to order one loaf of bread." I'd explain the phone number problem, give her the correct number and hang up. Next day, same thing, and the next for months. Eventually one day I said "Yes" and took the order. She never called again. Maybe she starved to death.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
reminds me of the Cutts the Butcher issue in Marlinspike (Tintin reference).
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Tavi “Raptor” Parks 1 year ago
I'm awaiting the day I get another spam call so I can go "John's cafe and pet cremation! You bring em we burn em! How can I help you today?"
Uncle Schmickle 9 months ago
If the have an Indian accent, ask where they're calling from. If they say India, ask them about the weather, what type of elephants they have, do they have any good curry recipes, etc. If it's trying to sell heating products, solar panels, etc. tell them that if they could give you a nice curry recipe, then you wouldn't need heating.
Uncle Schmickle 9 months ago
Pretend to be a recording ... " For (xyz ) please press 1, for ( abc ) please press 2, etc.etc."
Toni Atchison 1 year ago
I love telling the car warranty people that I don't drive because I'm blind. Tends to shut them up.
Lene 1 year ago
On an evening talkshow here in denmark they once had an old lady talk about how she messed with scammers. She'd sometimes keep them on the phone for hours! She'd pretend to be hard of hearing and not understanding sh*t so she'd ask them to explain whatever they just said over and over again. She said she'd often just put the phone down on a table next to her and knit or watch TV and then every now and then she'd pick up the phone and pretend she just didn't quite understand what scammer said and as he starts over again she'd just put the phone down and continue knitting. Her theory was that the longer she kept the scammers occupied with her the fewer innocent ppl would be scammed by them.
Wonderful 1 year ago
I’ve pretended that our lines got crossed and I’m having a conversation with my mom and I’m reading my credit card number to her while she can’t understand and I keep repeating and jumbling it. Got a guy to listen to my one way “conversation” for like 10 minutes. “Hey mom!” Did you got the card info from ———— ? Oh well you got a pen I have it with me. Ok ok. It’s visa number blah blah blah blah”. While inserting crazy stories about family members and getting everything mixed up. And once they think they are listening in on a conversation and might get money from it. They become quiet. Most hang up once they can’t “talk to me”. It’s fun
Nicole Holt 1 year ago
I sometimes lean my phone up against the speaker and have them listen to a conspiracy theory or murder podcast. I had one person actually stay on for 15 minutes. I wonder, if they gained some knowledge they didn't have before :)
Heather Talma 1 year ago
Man, all the ones I get are robots. You can't even have any fun with them.
Rodney McKay 1 year ago
Lots of great joking here, but the method I actually use is to let all calls from unknown numbers go to voicemail. My outgoing message says "Please leave a message. If you don't, your number will be permanently blocked". And I follow through on that. Not particularly entertaining, but my life is peaceful.
Rodney McKay 1 year ago
This is Officer Krupski. The phone you're calling was found on a body that was mangled beyond recognition and apparently had their wallet stolen since there is no ID. Can you tell us who you were calling, please?
Rodney McKay 1 year ago
Sounds great, I'll take it! But my credit card got cancelled for nonpayment, so now I only use cash. Can you come by to pick it up?
Tobias Reaper 1 year ago
answer the phone and pretend you are a police detective at a crime scene and this is the murder victims phone
Will Cable 1 year ago
Best things we found was getting an answering machine. Turned the volume to low/off and they never leave messages but if it is someone we know we can answer it.
AlanandLeila Hoyt 1 year ago (edited)
My favorite scam calls I’ve gotten are the hostage ones . “We have your brother/father etc. They hit our car and we’re going to kidnap them and kill them if you don’t pay for the damages”. First time was to see how many meows I could get into the convo until they got angry enough to hang up. Second time was to seem reeally/creepily into the details of how they were going to torture/kill the relative (who was sitting right next to me at the time).
Lauren S 1 year ago
I tend to get these on my work cell often. All I say is complete honesty. I work for a state run correctional facility and this is a state issued cell phone. They hang up immediately. On my personal phone I just say I’m not interested, have a nice day and hang up. The ones who are just doing a sales job are real people just trying to work and don’t need another person being rude. The scammers deserve the rudeness but I end the call too quickly to figure out which. 🤷🏻♀️ But some of these are hilarious!
Cass Malone 1 year ago
I usually just press buttons when I know it's a scam call. I like how they have the little water drop sound now before they speak though
Dozingdahlias 1 year ago
A couple years ago my grandma got a spam call, she put on this really frail old lady voice and led him on for a couple minutes before loudly cussing him out and hanging up.
Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
A couple of days ago I watched a Mark Roper (the glitter bomb guy) video on YT about how he used his evil genius to unmask and get several Indian call centers shut down.
Amo Mazzuchelli 1 year ago
I have given the phone to my kid telling them it's Santa and to list every they want. My work phone (Aust federal govt), I let them k ow they have rand a govt phone and what they are doing is illegal, very quick apology and hang up.
Ivana Bašić 1 year ago
Learn a couple of words from some random small languages. I don't speak much Dutch, but I can just ask to switch the conversation to Dutch. Gets rid of them and reduces the number of calls I get in the future.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
Hmm ... Assuming Basic is a serbo-croatian name, you have 3m croats and 7m serbs. Dutch is like 29m. So actually a small language would be serbian / croatian. Just fwiw. In our country we have 11 official languages... and most people speak about 4. So the way this would work here is you'd have to switch to a non-african non-germanic language like Serbian or something. угодан дан даље.
Load More Replies... Bernd Herbert 1 year ago
I love these. Very Rarely is the world so back and white like here. Scammers are scum
that weirdo in ur closet 1 year ago
“God damn it jimmy, I told u not to let them see the body! Wait…. Ur not jimmy, r u?”
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
Αυτοί είναι άνθρωποι που τηλεφωνούν για να σας πουλήσουν κάτι. Οι απαντήσεις είναι πράγματα που εμποδίζουν τους ανθρώπους να καλούν να πουλήσουν. Κυρίως περιλαμβάνει να κάνεις πράγματα όπως να κάνεις δυνατό θόρυβο, να προσποιείσαι ότι είσαι ηλίθιος.
Load More Replies...
TailsFangirl03 1 year ago
My friend once did this. Scammer: Hello? *megalovania plays softly* Scammer: Hello sir- *Megalovania blasts*
Mad McQueen 1 year ago
I keep them on the line as long as posible. I ask them to repeat or ask how that would work for me. I go ohhhhh I don't quite get it. I slowly talk softer and softer. When they are very loud I scream scammmmmmerrrr And hang up.
Yu Pan 1 year ago
"Hold on, I don't actually make any decisions in my household. You can talk to my cat. He runs the house" *Pass phone to my sleeping cat*
OnAFreakingRollercoaster 1 year ago
I actually feel sorry for the people doing the phone calls. I swear if I had that job i would be jumping off a bridge after a half a day. But yeah. They are annoying AF.
lauralett50 1 year ago
Them hello,how are you. Me fine but ,there is blood everywhere,what do you want done with the body. How long before the cleaning crew gets here ? Then : dialtone.
Load More Replies... Headless Roach 1 year ago
"Oh hello, it's great that you called today! I really need to talk to someone about our lord and saviour"
Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
He has many names, but we know him as the Great Skyroach, may the stars shine upon His Holy Exoskeleton for all Eternity, amen.
Load More Replies... that weirdo in ur closet 1 year ago
“Hey um sorry, I have to go to a fish funeral. It drowned. Catch u later?”
SH Holmes 1 year ago
In robot voice, "You have reached [insert phone number here]. If you want to p**s someone off, press 1. If you want to kindly f**k off, press the hangup button."
Red Wyvern Emperor 1 year ago
Might be a bit culturally insensitive, but I always go "Hello, Al Kaida secret recruitment center. We will blow your life up." XD
Steve Kenney 1 year ago
I have the most sure fire way to avoid 99 percent of scam calls. When it's a number you don't recognize...don't answer the phone. It's 2022, not 1987, most of the human population has cell phones. Don't answer the call.
kath morgan 1 year ago
Yeah I’ve given up answering unknown numbers if I’m not expecting a call. Such a high percentage of it is spam now. I also just hang up if I answer one by mistake, no point in “winning”.
Load More Replies... Scarlett 1 year ago
My family had a scammer that kept calling even after my dad cussed them out. So I took matters into my own hands. There’s a particular Rammstein song called Mein Teil and it’s known for—among other things—a particular bit in the middle that sounds like someone screaming in pain. I put my speaker up to the phone and played it full blast. They never called back.
Sami-Jo Ross 1 year ago
My dad once got a scam call and answered with "City morgue, you stab em, we slab em" and I actually heard the dude on the other end yell "aw HELL nah" and hang up.
Lace Neil 1 year ago
Lol. My mum was a nurse before she retired, she just says, "let me tell you about my bowels" before going into horrifying medical speak on the subject of bowels. No-one has ever stayed the course.
Load More Replies... Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
Related to the "whisper, then yell" one: talk quiet till they're straining to hear. Then, blow an air horn into the phone. HOOOOONNNKKKK! 😈
Rodney McKay 1 year ago
Then, get your phone repaired because you destroyed the microphone.
Load More Replies... Karma Black 1 year ago
In clear, unaccented American English: "Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I can neither speak nor understand English."
Rachel Reynolds 1 year ago
I took one semester of Russian in college, so when I get a telemarketer I recite Russian poetry in response to anything they say. Them: May I speak to the home owner? Me: Ночь, улица, фонарь, аптека. (Literally all I can say in Russian is this poem, "vodka please" and "I am the machine!"
Lyone Fein 1 year ago
Thank you for all of these ideas. My 81 year old mother is very frustrated and annoyed by all the scam calls she gets. I will share some of these strategies with her.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
With my inlaws I taught them to use text and whatsapp only as first port of call even with their friends. They eventually got it. Once their friends were doing that as a protocol (text first), they were able to ditch their landline and ignore calls thereafter.
Load More Replies... Zedrapazia 1 year ago
A good friend of mine usually just starts quoting random videogame dialogues until the salesperson on the phone is so confused they just hang up. Nobody made it past her Final Fantasy VII dialogue so far.
Cat Dragon 9 months ago
I need to try this. "Hey, so I've come to call you about your cars extended warran--" you'll get the hang of it eventually. It's like riding a bike. Except the bike turns into a pastel horned devil. And you're the bike. "Extended warranty -" hello, I am the canonical npc "wa--" Nice weather today right "warran--" RIGHT "...ty."
Load More Replies... theoneandonlynoira 1 year ago
I say "I've done it, but there's so much blood!" and then hang up. Occasionally I wait to hear the sweet sound of confusion.
Bhava Vanathi 1 year ago
I just pretend to be a Karen. Them: Hallo, Your Daughter was in a accident. Me: EXCUSE ME!!! DID YOU JUST ASSUME THE GENDER OF THEM. HOW DARE YOU?? I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!! Them: Mam, calm down! Me: HOW DARE YOU ASSUME I'M FEMALE?! I AM A THEY/THEM!!!!
tuzdayschild 1 year ago
My brother-in-law tells them he's listening, but as soon as they start talking he interrupts at the top of his lungs: "Excuse me, IF YOU KIDS DON'T STOP THAT NOISE I'M COMING IN THERE! I'm sorry, continue. I MEAN IT, YOU BETTER SHUT UP NOW! Go ahead, you were saying. THAT IS IT, I AM GOING TO COME IN THERE AND BREAK BONES!" This just escalates until the scammer hangs up. P.S. My sister and her husband don't have any kids in their house.
Unnamed Hooman 1 year ago
“So now that we’re besties, I can tell you my secret talent! I’m really good at impressions! *do some bad impressions* alright, now my best one, a dial tone!” *hang up*
Unnamed Hooman 1 year ago
I got my first ever scam call yesterday! Unfortunately I couldn’t toy with them because it was prerecorded so I just said “Bruh” and hung up
The Doom Song 1 year ago
"Ooh you sound hot what are you wearing?" I had a guy hang up on me but then called back to asked me on a date. Funniest part was I was at work
Cat Dragon 9 months ago
I never experienced that, but if it happened, I'd be like "hey you wanna hear about cassette beasts? Cool ok so..." and I proceed to explain the entirety of cassette beasts. If they somehow make it through that, then I'm going on a Warriors rant about how mapleshade's kits technically should have gone to the dark forest and that queens shouldn't tell their kits that if they're bad tigerstar will get them
Cat Dragon 9 months ago
And remember, if all else fails, sing something annoying
Load More Replies... CrazyCatChild (She/They) 10 months ago
My choir teacher will pretend to only speak Spanish, and my Mariachi teacher has everyone in the class play their instruments really loud.
lonely miso 1 year ago
"Welcome to Laser Headed Screaming Duck! What would you like to order?"
Rhianna Hollowaye 1 year ago
Random Latin screaming is my personal favourite, closely followed by reciting the illiad nonstop until the go away
BravePanda 1 year ago
"Exotic Butters, our special today is Mongolian yak butter with Himalayan pink salt. How may I place your order? We also are running a special on our Icelandic butters, we have three included in our newest sampler set. What part of the world would you like to visit today?"
memyselfandI 1 year ago
I’ve never managed to catch a scam caller in the wild, unfortunately. All I get are bots.
Hello_my_name_is_Genevieve 1 year ago
We need to differenciate telemarketers and scammers, though. Most of the formers are just trying to do their job. Been there ages ago; I did not last one day. It is a tough job.
The Mom 1 year ago (edited)
I always lead the conversation to sex. They mumble an little and hang up. . One of my sons answers the phone using a foreign accent and says, "Thank you for calling SuddenLink. My name is Kevin how may I help you today?" (SuddenLink is our local internet provider) He then tries to sell them different packages if they haven't already hung up.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
When an Internet provider calls hawking its service, I always reply "I have a theory about the Internet." "What is it?" "I don't believe that it's possible."
LuLikesGoats They/them 1 year ago
I do this creepy demon voice that sounds kinda robotic and they always give up when I say something like "you have reached h3ll, how can I help you?"
mcborge1 1 year ago
I have a downstairs toilet which is very handy when scammers call as I grab some water from the kitchen, usually from the kettle if it still has any water in it then I go into the toilet and start slowly pouring the water into the bowl whilst whistling loudly, only stopping when they stop talking. Throwing a few grunts and fake farts into the mix helps set the scene too. :D :D
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 1 year ago
I have mixed feelings about this. It's certainly fun to do, but the vast majority of these people are just doing their job. Granted, the telemarketing industry shouldn't even exist, but I don't want to be mean/ruin the day of some random person just trying to earn a paycheck.
Rodney McKay 1 year ago
"Just doing my job" is the absolute WORST excuse for bad behavior that has ever been invented.
Load More Replies... mhoulden 1 year ago (edited)
A few I've used: "I would like to buy a conservatory but I live in a second floor flat. Do you do them with stilts?" "Hello, I'm calling from $company and there's a problem with your account." "There certainly is. I haven't got one." "I work for fraud investigations. Could you confirm a few details please?" Then there was the person who put the phone next to a radio and had the caller talking to the interviewer.
Pieter LeGrande 1 year ago
Not a scam, but just as annoying. My work phone was one digit different to the local bakery. Every day I'd get a call from some little old lady " Hello my name Doris, I'd like to order one loaf of bread." I'd explain the phone number problem, give her the correct number and hang up. Next day, same thing, and the next for months. Eventually one day I said "Yes" and took the order. She never called again. Maybe she starved to death.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
reminds me of the Cutts the Butcher issue in Marlinspike (Tintin reference).
Load More Replies... Tavi “Raptor” Parks 1 year ago
I'm awaiting the day I get another spam call so I can go "John's cafe and pet cremation! You bring em we burn em! How can I help you today?"
Uncle Schmickle 9 months ago
If the have an Indian accent, ask where they're calling from. If they say India, ask them about the weather, what type of elephants they have, do they have any good curry recipes, etc. If it's trying to sell heating products, solar panels, etc. tell them that if they could give you a nice curry recipe, then you wouldn't need heating.
Uncle Schmickle 9 months ago
Pretend to be a recording ... " For (xyz ) please press 1, for ( abc ) please press 2, etc.etc."
Toni Atchison 1 year ago
I love telling the car warranty people that I don't drive because I'm blind. Tends to shut them up.
Lene 1 year ago
On an evening talkshow here in denmark they once had an old lady talk about how she messed with scammers. She'd sometimes keep them on the phone for hours! She'd pretend to be hard of hearing and not understanding sh*t so she'd ask them to explain whatever they just said over and over again. She said she'd often just put the phone down on a table next to her and knit or watch TV and then every now and then she'd pick up the phone and pretend she just didn't quite understand what scammer said and as he starts over again she'd just put the phone down and continue knitting. Her theory was that the longer she kept the scammers occupied with her the fewer innocent ppl would be scammed by them.
Wonderful 1 year ago
I’ve pretended that our lines got crossed and I’m having a conversation with my mom and I’m reading my credit card number to her while she can’t understand and I keep repeating and jumbling it. Got a guy to listen to my one way “conversation” for like 10 minutes. “Hey mom!” Did you got the card info from ———— ? Oh well you got a pen I have it with me. Ok ok. It’s visa number blah blah blah blah”. While inserting crazy stories about family members and getting everything mixed up. And once they think they are listening in on a conversation and might get money from it. They become quiet. Most hang up once they can’t “talk to me”. It’s fun
Nicole Holt 1 year ago
I sometimes lean my phone up against the speaker and have them listen to a conspiracy theory or murder podcast. I had one person actually stay on for 15 minutes. I wonder, if they gained some knowledge they didn't have before :)
Heather Talma 1 year ago
Man, all the ones I get are robots. You can't even have any fun with them.
Rodney McKay 1 year ago
Lots of great joking here, but the method I actually use is to let all calls from unknown numbers go to voicemail. My outgoing message says "Please leave a message. If you don't, your number will be permanently blocked". And I follow through on that. Not particularly entertaining, but my life is peaceful.
Rodney McKay 1 year ago
This is Officer Krupski. The phone you're calling was found on a body that was mangled beyond recognition and apparently had their wallet stolen since there is no ID. Can you tell us who you were calling, please?
Rodney McKay 1 year ago
Sounds great, I'll take it! But my credit card got cancelled for nonpayment, so now I only use cash. Can you come by to pick it up?
Tobias Reaper 1 year ago
answer the phone and pretend you are a police detective at a crime scene and this is the murder victims phone
Will Cable 1 year ago
Best things we found was getting an answering machine. Turned the volume to low/off and they never leave messages but if it is someone we know we can answer it.
AlanandLeila Hoyt 1 year ago (edited)
My favorite scam calls I’ve gotten are the hostage ones . “We have your brother/father etc. They hit our car and we’re going to kidnap them and kill them if you don’t pay for the damages”. First time was to see how many meows I could get into the convo until they got angry enough to hang up. Second time was to seem reeally/creepily into the details of how they were going to torture/kill the relative (who was sitting right next to me at the time).
Lauren S 1 year ago
I tend to get these on my work cell often. All I say is complete honesty. I work for a state run correctional facility and this is a state issued cell phone. They hang up immediately. On my personal phone I just say I’m not interested, have a nice day and hang up. The ones who are just doing a sales job are real people just trying to work and don’t need another person being rude. The scammers deserve the rudeness but I end the call too quickly to figure out which. 🤷🏻♀️ But some of these are hilarious!
Cass Malone 1 year ago
I usually just press buttons when I know it's a scam call. I like how they have the little water drop sound now before they speak though
Dozingdahlias 1 year ago
A couple years ago my grandma got a spam call, she put on this really frail old lady voice and led him on for a couple minutes before loudly cussing him out and hanging up.
Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
A couple of days ago I watched a Mark Roper (the glitter bomb guy) video on YT about how he used his evil genius to unmask and get several Indian call centers shut down.
Amo Mazzuchelli 1 year ago
I have given the phone to my kid telling them it's Santa and to list every they want. My work phone (Aust federal govt), I let them k ow they have rand a govt phone and what they are doing is illegal, very quick apology and hang up.
Ivana Bašić 1 year ago
Learn a couple of words from some random small languages. I don't speak much Dutch, but I can just ask to switch the conversation to Dutch. Gets rid of them and reduces the number of calls I get in the future.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
Hmm ... Assuming Basic is a serbo-croatian name, you have 3m croats and 7m serbs. Dutch is like 29m. So actually a small language would be serbian / croatian. Just fwiw. In our country we have 11 official languages... and most people speak about 4. So the way this would work here is you'd have to switch to a non-african non-germanic language like Serbian or something. угодан дан даље.
Load More Replies... Bernd Herbert 1 year ago
I love these. Very Rarely is the world so back and white like here. Scammers are scum
that weirdo in ur closet 1 year ago
“God damn it jimmy, I told u not to let them see the body! Wait…. Ur not jimmy, r u?”
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
Αυτοί είναι άνθρωποι που τηλεφωνούν για να σας πουλήσουν κάτι. Οι απαντήσεις είναι πράγματα που εμποδίζουν τους ανθρώπους να καλούν να πουλήσουν. Κυρίως περιλαμβάνει να κάνεις πράγματα όπως να κάνεις δυνατό θόρυβο, να προσποιείσαι ότι είσαι ηλίθιος.
Load More Replies... TailsFangirl03 1 year ago
My friend once did this. Scammer: Hello? *megalovania plays softly* Scammer: Hello sir- *Megalovania blasts*
Mad McQueen 1 year ago
I keep them on the line as long as posible. I ask them to repeat or ask how that would work for me. I go ohhhhh I don't quite get it. I slowly talk softer and softer. When they are very loud I scream scammmmmmerrrr And hang up.
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