Bridesmaid Misleads The Bride Over Having A Proper Dress, Is Replaced Days Before The Wedding
We have already written more than once that the eve of almost any wedding is literally a magnet drawing various problems: the moment when people reveal their best or worst side. And if you don’t have a proven team of assistants nearby, then the wedding could easily turn into a real show of errors…
Well, our author today, the user u/lil-red-doormat, was that lucky – the maid of honor helped her identify a potentially serious problem four days before her wedding. Moreover, she also found a solution to this problem. But the bride-to-be still experienced a feeling of awkwardness in connection with this situation.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post chose 8 friends as bridesmaids for her upcoming wedding, and asked them to have burgundy dresses
Image credits: Christina Victoria Craft (not the actual photo)
Around a month before the wedding, everyone texted that they already had the proper dresses
Image credits: lil-red-doormat
However, just 4 days before the ceremony, the author found out that one of the bridesmaids in fact had a maroon dress, not burgundy
Image credits: Los Muertos Crew (not the actual photo)
Image credits: lil-red-doormat
The maid of honor found another burgundy dress and another friend found it fit perfectly – so the bride made a last-minute substitution
Image credits: Do The Lan (not the actual photo)
Image credits: lil-red-doormat
However, the bride-to-be still had some remorse as to whether she was right or wrong here
So, now meet the Original Poster (OP) – a 26-year-old woman who very soon (at the time of the story) was supposed to get married. Long before the ceremony, back in December last year, the author chose 8 bridesmaids and texted that she wanted them all to have silver shoes and a burgundy, mesh, floor-length dress.
Moreover, the author specifically sent a couple of examples of the color of the dress to the common chat. All the bridesmaids answered “Okay,” and our heroine calmly went about her business. Literally a month before the wedding, she once again texted the bridesmaids to ask how things were going with their dresses – and everyone replied that everything was fine.
One of the women, “Sam,” also wrote something like “I have the dress.” This confused the author a little, because everyone else texted that they had bought the outfits… but she reassured herself that Sam had never been famous for the accuracy of her wording. However, four days before the wedding, the bride-to-be shared her concerns with the MOH and she suggested contacting Sam again about this.
And then it turned out that Sam had a maroon dress. Maroon, not burgundy! Well, people do often confuse these colors, but in fact they differ significantly in tone. Sam tried to justify herself by saying that it was the OP herself who spoke about maroon, but the author had all the screenshots saved. Then Sam said that she couldn’t afford to buy another dress now, and that it turned out that she had let her friend down…
The MOH saved the situation – she had an old dress in exactly the same color from one of her friends’ recent weddings, and it fit perfectly on their other mutual friend, “Gabby.” Well, a last-minute substitution took place in the bridesmaids’ team. Gabby took Sam’s place, and Sam, in turn, received an invitation as a regular guest. But an unpleasant aftertaste in the bride’s soul on the eve of the wedding still remained…
Image credits: Dewey gallery (not the actual photo)
Well, actually, the question of who should pay for the dresses for the bridesmaids has a long history. For example, American tradition states that this should be done by the bridesmaids themselves. “By accepting an invitation to be part of a wedding party, you’re agreeing to help bring the couple’s vision for their big day to life, and there are typically some costs associated with doing so,” The Knot dedicated article claims. “Couples will usually choose their wedding party’s attire based on popular styles for the specific location or season. That means you’ll likely be expected to pay for your own dress even if the bride chooses it.”
At the same time, some experts argue that a situation where the newlyweds themselves buy dresses for the bridesmaids is considered a kind of good form when preparing for a wedding – at least if they can also afford it. “We’ve seen more brides paying for their bridesmaids’ dresses, especially if they pick a more expensive dress for their attendants to wear,” Brides.com quotes Gabriella Risatti, the founder of Gabriella New York Bridal Salon.
By the way, some UK-based commenters also noted that the American tradition of the bridesmaids themselves buying the outfits specified by the newlyweds looks weird for them. “UK person here. If I ask someone to be a BM, I buy the dress. USians demanding people buy things for their wedding is insane to me. BMs are expected to shell out loads of cash for the bride over there. Its wild,” someone clearly stated.
The opinions of other commenters were actually divided. Some people think that the bride did the right thing, because Sam actually framed her right before the wedding. “How Sam handled this was wrong and it’s fine to remove her,” one of the responders wrote. On the other hand, some people in the comments believe it would be awkward for Gabby to fill the vacant place. And in general, the situation turned out to be ambiguous.
“I couldn’t imagine being Gabby in this situation. ‘Hey, you’re not one of my 8 closest friends, but you’re a size Medium, so I really want to give you a job so I have even numbers,'” another commenter wrote wittily. So what would you, our dear readers, do if you found yourself in the place of this bride? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
People in the comments were very divided, but most of them wrote that the bride was right anyway. In the end of the day, it was her own wedding…
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We really need to get away from the "wedding as a performance" mentality. It's supposed to be a fun event for everyone, not a Broadway show. The hard reality is that not everyone is on the same socioeconomic rung. Expecting them to buy a special bridesmaid's dress is expecting too much for many people, especially since younger adults are often involved in multiple weddings per year. This bride kicked her friend out of the wedding party for wearing the wrong shade of red in a dress she probably won't ever wear again. Buying one-use formal wear is doable if you're landed gentry but for most, that's a big chunk of change for a one-time-use purchase. If you're going to be that a**l about the Pantone number of the dress, you should buy it for them. Or better yet, stop trying to achieve a Disney wedding and spend the money on a down payment for a house or something else that will improve your life in a lasting way.
If you’re shopping for bridesmaid dresses and would like to give everyone the opportunity to choose their own cut, azazi is literally the cheapest way to do it. I had three bridesmaids- one short, one curvy, and one built like a model… but nine months pregnant. There’s no way in hell I was asking them to wear identical dresses. I gave them that website and a colour and let them choose. And they spent about half what I spent on each of the bridesmaid dresses for their weddings. We have each others backs and if one of us couldn’t afford something, we’d be honest and work it out. FWIW my wedding was literally in my yard. Anything for my “aesthetic” was done cheap. Anything for my guests was the best we could afford (food, booze, gifts). It’s not always about the bride being a b***h.
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Love how the comments on this have nothing to do with what OP did or said but are just virtue signaling and being mad at the bridal industry Op asked her friend to buy a dress, from the cheapest online store possible. She only specified the color and fabric type. That's it. No need to go shopping, no need to buy identical dresses, no need to spend a fortune. The cheapest dress, the easiest way to buy it, and free to buy any style. Just had to be burgundy and mesh fabric But the comments are all "well unlike OP I love my husband and my friends and I would never be so superficial as to ask my friends to wear clothes or show up on any particular day. We were married by a drunk racoon and the spiritual essence of humbleness between april 1975 and december 2002, and our guests were beings of pure love dressed in nothing but well wishes for us and hatred for commercialized Big Weddings."
Agreed. For some reason women treat wedding as an ultimate goal, and make helluva lot of planning for the wedding but very little if any for everything after the wedding. I may be old fashioned here, but wedding was just a single step of many in my life, and not even most important. More important for me was my 25th anniversary or days when our kids were born.
Load More Replies... We really need to get away from the "wedding as a performance" mentality. It's supposed to be a fun event for everyone, not a Broadway show. The hard reality is that not everyone is on the same socioeconomic rung. Expecting them to buy a special bridesmaid's dress is expecting too much for many people, especially since younger adults are often involved in multiple weddings per year. This bride kicked her friend out of the wedding party for wearing the wrong shade of red in a dress she probably won't ever wear again. Buying one-use formal wear is doable if you're landed gentry but for most, that's a big chunk of change for a one-time-use purchase. If you're going to be that a**l about the Pantone number of the dress, you should buy it for them. Or better yet, stop trying to achieve a Disney wedding and spend the money on a down payment for a house or something else that will improve your life in a lasting way.
If you’re shopping for bridesmaid dresses and would like to give everyone the opportunity to choose their own cut, azazi is literally the cheapest way to do it. I had three bridesmaids- one short, one curvy, and one built like a model… but nine months pregnant. There’s no way in hell I was asking them to wear identical dresses. I gave them that website and a colour and let them choose. And they spent about half what I spent on each of the bridesmaid dresses for their weddings. We have each others backs and if one of us couldn’t afford something, we’d be honest and work it out. FWIW my wedding was literally in my yard. Anything for my “aesthetic” was done cheap. Anything for my guests was the best we could afford (food, booze, gifts). It’s not always about the bride being a b***h.
Load More Replies... Love how the comments on this have nothing to do with what OP did or said but are just virtue signaling and being mad at the bridal industry Op asked her friend to buy a dress, from the cheapest online store possible. She only specified the color and fabric type. That's it. No need to go shopping, no need to buy identical dresses, no need to spend a fortune. The cheapest dress, the easiest way to buy it, and free to buy any style. Just had to be burgundy and mesh fabric But the comments are all "well unlike OP I love my husband and my friends and I would never be so superficial as to ask my friends to wear clothes or show up on any particular day. We were married by a drunk racoon and the spiritual essence of humbleness between april 1975 and december 2002, and our guests were beings of pure love dressed in nothing but well wishes for us and hatred for commercialized Big Weddings."
Agreed. For some reason women treat wedding as an ultimate goal, and make helluva lot of planning for the wedding but very little if any for everything after the wedding. I may be old fashioned here, but wedding was just a single step of many in my life, and not even most important. More important for me was my 25th anniversary or days when our kids were born.
Load More Replies...
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