Those that refuse and kick off - and not say anything to your face, even though you offered to talk to any who has concerns - ask them to let you know if they are still coming (re: food/Seating) and then just continue on and do your thing. It's you and your Fiancée's wedding, not theirs, so don't let them change what you want - even if it means fewer people. The MIL & SIL should be ashamed of themselves. IMO, these moan-behind-your-backs are acting like GuestZillas.

Their wedding, their rules. If you dont like it then dont come.

The most reasonable solution is to make the ren-faire dress code optional and have some on-theme accessories available.

I like the idea of having optional props available for anyone who wants them.

That dress code could have gone badly wrong, but the couple made it just right with the added info and examples. Also ren faire looks can be really simple, and even if you don't want to dress in "costume" you can still fit the theme with simple touches. I would absolutely love to attend this wedding. Also I'm super shy and fear sticking out in any situation, especially if I don't know most of the people. I would probably dress in a bit vintage-lookin dress, pick accessories and add them on after a quick peek that other quest have also dressed according to theme.

I vote 'Not the... fppmz1gzRv...d39d2e.jpg

NTA, and anyone that "has a problem" with this ~IS~ an Ash Sole. They're selfish ash soles demanding she have a "traditional wedding". Dressing for a Renaissance Faire IS NOT EXPENSIVE, and the bride-to-be clearly states people can pick low cost options. If I were invited, I'd be wearing my Elven archer costume. [ ....................... ] One possibility is to tell the tight@$$es "wear regular clothes if you want". But when it comes time to post the wedding photo album, only include those who made the effort. Make sure the photographer knows to focus on the willing participants.

1. This is one of the very, very few AITA's that sounds like it may have happened in real life. 2. Not a big fan of the reasoning that "it's THEIR day, just do what THEY want!" I would go, and I would dress up, but in my book weddings aren't about the wedding couple. By the time you're actually having a wedding, you're already married, and the purpose of the wedding is to celebrate it with your friends and family. When I was planning my wedding, I don't remember either of us talking about what WE wanted. Everything we talked about was centered around how could we make it enjoyable for our friends and family.

I can't help but noticed that a lot of those folks who think the OP is the a*****e didn't even read her post. She mentioned that her and her partner didn't want gifts and instead asked that any monies be used towards the outfit. Also tieing a belt around your waist is going to make you feel uncomfortable or wearing a floral dress is a bridge too far. Some of these folks sound like a******s to honest and I wouldn't want them at my wedding anyway.

Okay, people love themed weddings but they don't want to put effort into the theme if they feel obligated to go (such as family). I think it's definitely reasonable to want a fully themed wedding. I am no longer but I was marries long ago and it was at a medieval fair. We did have a request that guests didn't dress in purple as we, the couple, will be in those colors for "royalty". But there were costumes to rent at the faire. The majority of my guests flew in for the wedding, so I didn't want to add a cost of a special outfit. But, if I had more local guests, I'd most definitely ask for a range of costume! I'd also like to add that it is insulting that family said Renaissance garb is stupid/idiotic.

I think a nice compromise would be if the costumes were optional and they provided a bunch of floral crowns and hats for those who showed up in regular clothes because they didn't want to break out the glue guns and make something. The DIY instructions, while attempting to be considerate, are what set this over the edge for me. No one has time for that, but it would definitely send the message to guests that they better show up in something extravagant. Which is the off-putting bit. Renfair clothes can get reallllllllly expensive, must be specially obtained with a lot of effort, and these people will never wear them again.

I would be so excited to attend a themed wedding like this! Everyone can have a normal celebration with a white dress and a suit and festive clothes for the guests. But hey, most people buy new clothes for a wedding party anyway so they can look for a costume. If I had planned this wedding, the costume would be optional but I would have some simple clothes at hand just for courious guests. But there are sooo pretty options! Hm, maybe some sewing weekends would be nice for those who have the imagination, but not the money or the skills. And what about flower crowns instead of the arrangements and bouquets so everyone can wear one? They can sit on the table until then.

BP - Good job choosing an AITA story! By the poll, there are 3 legitimate groups all over 20%. Its nice to see one of these where there's genuine discussion and different views so we can all grow by seeing how others see the world.

Damn. Everyone's acting like she demanded something complicated. I don't think she did. I have a few spring dresses that I already own. That I've ALREADY WORN AND WILL WEAR AGAIN, a dollar store/party america place down the street if I need something to go with it. That being said - the idea of providing a few costume-y things is a good one and I hope they do that and ignore the haters. No where did it say that she wouldn't allow someone in if they weren't dressed to her standards. It also says that people are shelling out for a gift? So THOSE guys didn't even read the whole original post where she said NO GIFTS, PLEASE.

They don't have to attend. It doesn't seem like a lot to ask but if they're so turned off by it then they can stay home. No harm no foul. Why can't people just communicate?

This is a YTA. I've worked at ren faires, and the "Low Cost" option... is still expensive as hell. That low cost dress type she described, starts at around three hundred bucks.... I don't know what bridezilla thinks 'low cost' is, but that ain't it.

This is why, in the unlikely event I ever find someone willing to marry me, I would likely do a 'normal' wedding for the families, but then plan a second event for the people closest in my life who would enjoy and get into the theme. I'm a big cosplayer, so have a second wedding at a convention with people in cosplay, for instance. Low budget on the second event, of course. No gifts required from the attendees, things like that. Just to have the fun and the experience. Though my primary plan is still to get married on a pirate ship in the middle of a sword fight.