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Nerdy Couple Wants A Fantasy Wedding, Guests Say They’re Uncomfortable With The Theme
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Nerdy Couple Wants A Fantasy Wedding, Guests Say They’re Uncomfortable With The Theme

Nerdy Couple Wants A Fantasy Wedding, Guests Say They're Uncomfortable With The ThemeBride Asks For Advice After Fantasy Themed Wedding Stirs Up Family DramaNerdy Couple Wants A Fantasy Wedding, Guests RetaliateGeeky Couple Plans A Fantasy-Themed Wedding, Imposes A Dress Code That Stirs Up Family DramaFamily Is Very Unhappy About Bride's Wedding Theme Choice, Calls Her A Bridezilla“Dress Up Like Idiots”: 'Controlling' Bride Slammed For Fantasy-Themed Dress CodeCouple Are Dragged After They Reveal Their Nerdy Wedding ThemeBride Wants Guests To Cosplay At Her Wedding, Wonders If She’s A Jerk After Receiving HateBride Asks If She's Asking For Too Much After Guests Bash Her Fantasy-Themed Dress Code
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Themed weddings can be a lot of fun! The happy couple might decide that they want their Big Day to have a certain aesthetic, and they might ask the people nearest and dearest to them to dress up accordingly. However, some guests feel incredibly uncomfortable with being handed a mandatory dress code that doesn’t fit in with their understanding of wedding attire.

One anonymous bride-to-be went viral after turning to the AITA online community for their collective wisdom. She asked them whether she was in the wrong for organizing a fantasy and Renaissance-themed wedding that includes cosplaying. Read on for the story in full, as well as to see the wide range of opinions that the internet had.

Some couples decide on a theme for their wedding, and they expect everyone to have fun

Image credits: midiman / flickr (not the actual photo)

However, one bride shared how some of her guests were less than thrilled by the mandatory dress code she imposed

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Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: ELEVATE (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Anonymous

Image credits: Sarah / flickr (not the actual photo)

Unfortunately, the author of the post deleted her account since her story went viral, so we were unable to reach out to her for comment. At the time of writing, her post has 4.1k upvotes and 3.6k comments.

There are no easy answers in a nuanced situation like this. Both sides, the ones all for and against themed guest costumes, have a point.

Most readers thought that the bride did nothing wrong by having a theme. However, some internet users did point out that making the fantasy dress code optional instead of mandatory might have been the right way to go.

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It’s a wonderful thing that the marrying couple took the time and energy to put together a list of tips for budget-friendly costume options, no doubt. That being said, there will always be some folks who are very new to cosplaying and might not feel comfortable doing this at such a public event.

Not to mention that even budget-friendly costumes are still going to set some people back quite a bit in terms of money and time.

Meanwhile, some guests might spend more on more ‘traditional’ clothes for the wedding, but their main issue is with how they look. Some of them want to avoid looking goofy or making fools out of themselves.

However, cutting back and letting loose once in a while might be a good thing. And dressing up for a themed wedding (especially such a relatively tame one) may be a way to have fun in an entirely different way.

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Image credits: Leah Newhouse / pexels (not the actual photo)

While the happy couple shouldn’t organize their wedding in a way that makes all of their guests uncomfortable, they also shouldn’t stress out that some folks aren’t in love with every single detail of the celebration.

If they were to consider every guest’s opinion and preferences on every single aspect of the wedding, then they’d only get overwhelmed. What do you do when so many people have different ideas about what your Big Day should look like?

Though it’s a good idea to listen to your family and friends’ opinions, it doesn’t mean that you have to do what they say. If your dream wedding is a fantasy/Renaissance event, then you should embrace that and go through with it.

At the same time, you may want to have a bit of flexibility when it comes to the small handful of guests who don’t cosplay. You may want to talk to them about any issues they have and explain exactly why the theme is so important to you. You don’t have to be defensive, but it always helps to have a friendly but frank conversation.

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At the end of the day, if a couple of folks decide not to dress up according to the theme, it’s really not the end of the world. It won’t break the sense of immersion if it’s only a small handful of people walking around in modern-day clothing. They can always thematically be visitors from a faraway land with a sense of style that’s eerily similar to that of Planet Earth in 2024!

Have you ever been to a themed wedding, dear Pandas? What was that like? Would you ever like to have a themed wedding of your own? How do you feel about mandatory dress codes for such events? What would you have done in the story author’s place? Share your thoughts in the comments!

The internet had various opinions about the situation. Most readers were on the bride’s side and thought she was being decent

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A few people thought that nobody was to blame

However, some internet users thought the bride could have been slightly more reasonable

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

Read less »

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those that refuse and kick off - and not say anything to your face, even though you offered to talk to any who has concerns - ask them to let you know if they are still coming (re: food/Seating) and then just continue on and do your thing. It's you and your Fiancée's wedding, not theirs, so don't let them change what you want - even if it means fewer people. The MIL & SIL should be ashamed of themselves. IMO, these moan-behind-your-backs are acting like GuestZillas.

FlamingoPanda
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I went to a similar themed wedding a few months ago and it was easy for me to dress to the theme. Some guests went all out and some just made a token gesture to it (like a floral dress which OP mentioned in the edit). Everyone had fun and enjoyed the day despite the dress code and their various feelings towards dressing up. I suspect that MIL and SIL actually have a totally different idea in mind with this wedding (maybe the stock standard big white wedding) and are miffed that is not happening. Another wedding I went to recently there was a fairly strict dress code of floral for the ladies and a few select colours for the gents. Again people had options and found ways to make what they had work for the theme. To each their own.

Sahil Islam
Community Member
7 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Their wedding, their rules. If you dont like it then dont come.

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
7 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m not normally pedantic, but it’s not “her” wedding. It’s “the couple’s” wedding and they both are on board with this as they SHARE this interest. It isn’t “her” rules, it’s rules they both want. I agree with your last sentence, but it’s an important distinction to make that the dress code isn’t just something OP wants that her fiancé is “just” rolling with.

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StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those that refuse and kick off - and not say anything to your face, even though you offered to talk to any who has concerns - ask them to let you know if they are still coming (re: food/Seating) and then just continue on and do your thing. It's you and your Fiancée's wedding, not theirs, so don't let them change what you want - even if it means fewer people. The MIL & SIL should be ashamed of themselves. IMO, these moan-behind-your-backs are acting like GuestZillas.

FlamingoPanda
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I went to a similar themed wedding a few months ago and it was easy for me to dress to the theme. Some guests went all out and some just made a token gesture to it (like a floral dress which OP mentioned in the edit). Everyone had fun and enjoyed the day despite the dress code and their various feelings towards dressing up. I suspect that MIL and SIL actually have a totally different idea in mind with this wedding (maybe the stock standard big white wedding) and are miffed that is not happening. Another wedding I went to recently there was a fairly strict dress code of floral for the ladies and a few select colours for the gents. Again people had options and found ways to make what they had work for the theme. To each their own.

Sahil Islam
Community Member
7 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Their wedding, their rules. If you dont like it then dont come.

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
7 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m not normally pedantic, but it’s not “her” wedding. It’s “the couple’s” wedding and they both are on board with this as they SHARE this interest. It isn’t “her” rules, it’s rules they both want. I agree with your last sentence, but it’s an important distinction to make that the dress code isn’t just something OP wants that her fiancé is “just” rolling with.

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