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Unfortunately, just because someone’s a family member doesn’t instantly mean that they’re a kind, witty, and interesting person who you want to spend time with. There are plenty of bizarre, annoying, and even rude people living on our planet. And some of them (probably!) happen to be related to you in some way.
Nearly everybody has at least one person that the rest of their relatives all kind of avoid. The r/AskReddit community spilled the tea about who that person in their family is and what they did to get socially ostracized. Scroll down for their stories.

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#1

50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me- cuz I'm the only deaf member in the entire family and the only deaf guy in the town as well so there was almost no asl beside mom, aunt and older brother. Even so we didn't really talk like a family. So I grew up with minimal sign language, no asl for my bday, Christmas, Thanksgiving etc. I now see holidays as pointless and waste of time. My mom only FaceTimed me once in 13 years and that was to find out where my cousin were in the store I was with him at the time but yet FaceTimed my cousin and older brother frequently. Go figures. If you've got a deaf family member, it helps a lot learning asl and spending time with them. Don't leave them out.

Akurbanexplorer , Kevin Malik Report

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    #2

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me. I used to try to help everyone when they needed it because I could afford to. Six years ago my wife had a ruptured brain aneurysm and two strokes. I needed help taking care of her. I never got the first offer of any help so on top of my twelve hour each day job I take care of her by myself. I think often of how I gave up so much for everyone else and got treated this way. They all have get togethers and vacations and things we never get invited to because she really is a handful. We just spend time with each other and our grown kids when we can and make the best of it. I do really get upset though because I am so tired and really could use a break but it is what it is. Thank you for listening.

    Faithful-Tired , Marcus Aurelius Report

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    kirpatty avatar
    Barong
    Barong
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being a caregiver is torture wrapped in love. You do it for the people you love and you wouldn’t have it any other way but emotional torment of seeing the one you love and care for incapable of living a normal healthy life, of getting better is horrible. But there’s more. The emotional torment of looking at your own life, the life you miss out on, the physical work, the stress. Guilt and feeling ashamed for thinking that though you love them, it might be better if they died sooner. Tormented by feeling there is no way out because you love them.

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    #3

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family I have a really large family. We found out one brother was sexually assaulting our baby sister from when she was three until she was 14. She had told my mom. Mom did nothing. That brother has been pushed out by the 12 of us. My parents are dead to us too.

    Patient_Yam4747 , Iurii Laimin Report

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    It doesn’t feel great to be excluded. We’re social animals, and we need positive relationships to thrive. However, not all relationships are equal. People who are constantly negative and stress us out have a negative effect on our lives. Naturally, everyone wants to spend more time with folks who energize them and boost their mood instead of those who drain them.

    From a purely utilitarian perspective, you do not want to be the individual who gets ostracized. Being socially isolated and lonely wreaks havoc on a person’s physical and mental health. It increases the risk of developing serious life-threatening illnesses like heart disease, type 2 diabetes, depression, anxiety, and dementia.

    In short, you want to put in at least some effort to be accepted by your social circle. If you’re constantly annoying everyone and making their lives hell, soon enough, you might find yourself completely alone. However, being alone is still preferable to being in social circles that consistently stress you out with negativity.
    #4

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My aunt and uncle. After my mom died they took my grandma, got power of attorney over her life and wiped out her accounts within minutes of moving out of my dad’s house. Bought all their family members iPads for Christmas and let my grandma die in the garage in the middle of winter. I don’t care that they stole my inheritance—it wasn’t much—but I really miss my grandma to this day.

    drinkslinger1974 , Ron Lach Report

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    beccatheqt avatar
    Becca not Becky
    Becca not Becky
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Financial abvse and negl3ct against elders should carry heavier punishments. This is abhorrent but happens more than we care to think

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    #5

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family It was me. Once my mom passed away I wasn't spoken to for over 20 years. My crime? Refusing to be a racist bigot filled with hate for anything not white, straight and Christian.


    I am happy with their decision.

    SnooBeans5364 , RDNE Stock project Report

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    #6

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My cousin was involved in organized crime and put his family through hell. We still kept him around for some reason. He was the charming, handsome, funny cousin. Everybody loved him.

    Our grandma confronted him over him doing cocaine in the bathroom at our little cousins birthday. He snapped at her and viciously attacked her, breaking her nose, jaw, and two ribs. He then ran out of the house. My uncle and dad and cousin found him a few days later and beat him with an inch of his life, and then nobody ever spoke to him again.

    bakstruy25 , cottonbro studio Report

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    Pyla
    Pyla
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    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holy shïte! Poor woman!!! Glad they got him. Wish they’d have pressed charges, a little time in stir would serve him right.

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    The New Yorker writes that in some circles there’s an effort to destigmatize estrangement. The idea is that by making the idea of cutting unhealthy people out of your life less taboo, you’re essentially creating a better environment for yourself. There’s a trend among young people who are increasingly cutting their parents out of their lives. Some are very happy that they no longer have to deal with family drama during holiday get-togethers.

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    However, some researchers believe that what’s happening is a continuation of what’s always been happening: cutting people out is nothing new, and we’re simply more transparent when it comes to talking about it now.
    #7

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me.

    I got sick with Crohns non diabetic LRP and can't walk. It's crazy how fast your friends and family abandon you when you can't go out like you used to.

    Being called a hermit only salts the wound. Went from a national qualified runner and athlete to being sick is apparently a choice.

    Some of my family say that if I were closer to God, I wouldn't be so sick. If only it was that easy.

    It wasn't even like it happened over a long period, either. Prior to 2020, I was walking , working ,eating, and socializing.

    I'm lucky I have a saint for a wife, so I manage. It just surprised me how fast everyone dropped me. Some people have no idea how to deal with illness when it affects their loved ones and friends.

    Agile-Stick2803 , Marcus Aurelius Report

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    brendaspagnola avatar
    Brenda
    Brenda
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I totally understand this! I have fibromyalgia, arthritis, CIPN, spinal stenosis and several other issues. Went from a huge circle of friends to very few. It got even smaller when I got breast cancer. But it does show you who really cares.

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    #8

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My uncle. He is the stereotypical loser, racist homophobe who think gas chambers never existed and that homosexuals Jewish people secretly rule the world. No wonder nobody wants to speak to him.

    lectxr , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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    #9

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family It was me, and it was because of my drinking.....

    Coming up on 5 years sober, and it took 3 years of sobriety just to get invited to Christmas...so next Christmas will only be like the second I've gotten the invite to in 15 years or so...

    Took my sister aside last weekend to give her an apology for all that time, and sorry that I was never an uncle to her kids, they're all grown now, so can't change that, but I am sorry the bottle was more important than everything, and everyone during that time, I lost everything...

    A lot of what, and who I lost I'll never be able to get back in my life.

    mezz7778 , Pavel Danilyuk Report

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    Brenda
    Brenda
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Congratulations on being sober! And I'm glad you are trying to apologize to those you hurt. It's a big step!

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    According to the founder of the nonprofit estrangement group Stand Alone, Becca Bland, it can be healthier for people to have a life beyond their family relationships. They can create a new sense of family with their friends.

    Kristina Scharp, a director of the Family Communication and Relationships Lab at Rutgers University and Michigan State, told The New Yorker that people tend to look at someone who goes no-contact with family members differently than those who cut ties with, say, a bad partner.

    “We’re told things like ‘Blood is thicker than water’ and ‘A family is forever.’ So, if you have a happy family, it’s really hard to imagine estrangement.” Forgiving family members doesn’t always happen. It all depends on how the person who cut them out feels about the entire situation.
    #10

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me. My sister went public with the abuse that was done to us as kids and the family members who did it in 2022. At age 13 and again at 15, she did try and get police involved, but the mother of the cousin that was harming us was friends with many people in the department (and is married to one now) so my sisters story was never believed. We suffered very awful abuse for roughly 6 years. My mother was informed, an aunt, our grandmother, and police, yet our mom still took us to that aunts house so she could enjoy her time with her husband without her 2 daughter around. We never received justice. Today, our family has shunned not only her, but I as well. They still have ALL of the abusers in their close circle and to this day no one from the family believes us despite injuries being shown over the years. My sister is now 5 months clean from her d**g addiction as a result of our upbringing. I turned out alright I guess currently in therapy and working through everything. But yeah f**k my family. 😂.

    Shining-Crown21 , Pixabay Report

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    Orysha
    Orysha
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Media are often more efficient than police with this kond of crimes.

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    #11

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me and it's because I'm transgender. The only members of my (large) biological family who will acknowledge that I exist are my half great uncle and his wife, my mom, and my gay cousin. They literally pretend like I don't exist. They can go to hell though, I'm better off without them.

    witwickan , Malcolm Garret Report

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    Lara
    Lara
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're right- you are better than people who are like that.

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    #12

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My sister. She went religious zealot on us, especially against my brother who’s gay, and we all sided with him. It was crazy. She was completely normal one day, falls in love with a Christian worship leader, then the next day she believes our brother is going to hell. What a hill to die on.

    Creepy-Total8241 , Arina Krasnikova Report

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    beth38 avatar
    Beth Wheeler
    Beth Wheeler
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When somebody goes from 0 to 1000 with any religion that fast there is some mental to problems somewhere.

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    Have you ever cut off ties with a relative, dear Pandas? Is there a person who your entire family seems to avoid? What did they do to get pushed away? What do you think they’d need to do to get back in everyone’s good graces?

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    If you feel like opening up, we’d love to hear about your experiences in the comments section at the bottom of this post.
    #13

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My uncle got his son's girlfriend pregnant.

    We've always hated the guy for reasons I won't get into but this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

    ThePhabtom4567 , freestocks Report

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    #14

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family I'm the only one who talks to my cousin. She came out as pansexual a few years ago (her spiteful ex actually outed her toher parents), and sadly my Asian family is extremely homophobic. Sadly I'm her only support and ally.

    victoriachan365 , Monstera Production Report

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    brendaspagnola avatar
    Brenda
    Brenda
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she needs family, I'm happy to be a surrogate family member. My oldest is bi-sexual and my youngest is pansexual & uses he/him pronouns. As long as they are happy, that's all that matters. And that's all that should matter to anyone else!

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    #15

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Recently my dad. He slept with my sister’s fiancé (M). My sister is pregnant.

    DucktapeCorkfeet , Ketut Subiyanto Report

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    #16

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me.

    Because I'm an atheist.

    Entire family is Southern Baptist.

    ProbablyABore , Karolina Kaboompics Report

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    brendaspagnola avatar
    Brenda
    Brenda
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They probably wrongly assume as an atheist that you worship the devil. I'm agnostic, myself, and people think that of me. People need to school themselves.

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    #17

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me, I'm the one relative.

    I choose not to keep in touch with my family, because I don't want someone constantly asking me for money or to take care of their children.

    DontYuckMyYum , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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    #18

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My mom is the person in her family, but it's not because she's a bad person or she has issues with substance abuse. The majority of her family just doesn't like who she loves. Her family is very white, and my dad, brother, and I are black. I have a Latino uncle, but they're fine with him. Some of my family don't care, namely a couple cousins, but I haven't spoken with any of my aunts or uncles in almost 16 years.

    ph3nth3n3rd , Good Faces Agency Report

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    beth38 avatar
    Beth Wheeler
    Beth Wheeler
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are better off without them if they want to be like that. I read another story this morning about a little girl that is biracial. Her father is black and mother is white and loves her curly hair and doing her hair. The white Grandma talks about how it would look better straight. The mother was called into work on a day off and Grandma said she would watch her. When the lady got to her parents house her b***h mother had SHAVED her 5 yo daughters head so that she is completely bald. After she got home sle called the he police and had her mother arrested for it. Her mother is telling the family it was a only a haircut and it will grow back straight. This girls family is mad at her but they don't know the who truth of what was done to the little girl. She should take a picture and send it to everybody to show them that socalled haircut.

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    #19

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My aunt. 


    She tried to take the car my grandmother left in her will to me from me. 


    This happened literal minutes after my grandmother passed. We were still in the room with my grandmother. .

    PubbleBubbles , Pixabay Report

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    jacobbabashoff avatar
    Jacob B.
    Jacob B.
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my grandmother passed, they tried to railroad my mom into purchasing her house at an inflated cost. They were so confident it would happen, they already started spending her share of the inheritance money. When the house sold for WAY LESS, they had to cut her a bigger check.

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    #20

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My moms brother lol he cheated on his wife (we still talk to her) They divorced, he kidnapped their 2 kids and took them to Singapore for years, then took them on a house boat off the coast of Mexico for a while, and meanwhile was scrutinizing my aunt for “being a bad mom”, Shes a wonderful cheerful cute Swiss woman.Because we still talk to her, he refuses to talk to anyone. We don’t really care.

    She has full custody of the kids now in Switzerland :).

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    #21

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My uncle Greg. His Alzheimer’s dementia is so bad he doesn’t recognize anyone in his family anymore and visiting just scares and confuses him because it’s out of his routine.

    It’s really sad because we do miss him. It’s sad to know the next time we see him won’t be until his funeral.

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    #22

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family I stopped speaking to my older sister because she is a holier than thou judgmental miserable b***h. I have spoken to her once in 4 years and that was when I answered the phone in my Mom’s ICU room. I told her if she wanted to say goodbye she should get there. She did not. Mom died a few days later and as far as I’m concerned my older sister died that day too. I will never speak to her again.

    Tattooedbitchface , Alexander Grey Report

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    beth38 avatar
    Beth Wheeler
    Beth Wheeler
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know that feeling. My mother said for years that if she was ever really sick she didn't want my sister who lives on the other side of the country to know anything about it or when she died. She got her wish, somehow she found out 2 years later and I sent her a letter with a cashier's check with her half of our mother's retirement for the month that she died and what was left to her in the will and that I had done as she had asked

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    #23

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family I'm that family member. I called CPS on my fam, so I get it.

    Wide_Cow7653 , Yan Krukau Report

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    #24

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family I’m pretty sure my brother has k*lled people, among other serious (maybe more serious) crimes. Legally there’s nothing I can do. What evidence I know the police and FBI also know. I have a restraining order against him and moved as far away as I can. One day he’ll finally go down for a crime and there’ll be a Netflix special on him and they’ll ask why the family was complicit as if we could stop any of this.

    3andahalfbath , Kindel Media Report

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    #25

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me because I removed myself from the cycle of using me as the black sheep. It turns out I do have a line and they danced across it.

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    #26

    Me. I objected to being bullied by my sister. They all said I was too sensitive and that she had the right to bully me because she's the older one. I stopped speaking to them all once I was told that I don't deserve to be treated with respect.

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    #27

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me. Because I cut ties with my parents, brother, and sister in law because they are toxic, manipulative people who were destroying my mental health.
    I have been no contact for years and have not missed any of them even once.

    Spawnof88 , RDNE Stock project Report

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    Freya the Wanderer
    Freya the Wanderer
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good for you. Just because they're family doesn't mean you have to put up with their s--t.

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    #28

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family It's me.

    Im dating a guy (I'm a guy), and the last thing anyone in my Catholic/conservative family can do is talk, so I'm building my own life.

    I've learned it's better that way anyway.

    WhoDeysaThinkin , Ketut Subiyanto Report

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    #29

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me. They kept stealing from me, using me for free food, transportation, labor, treating me like s**t, and being patronizing as f**k. I cut them all out.


    My found family loves me very much, and treats me with respect. They've never stolen from me or try to use me to get stuff or do stuff for them. My daughter is growing up with loving, supportive people who nurture and protect her, instead of a bunch of grifters who would exploit her as a resource for money and labor while gaslighting her into believing she's incompetent and stupid.

    Sekmet19 , Keenan Constance Report

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    Brenda
    Brenda
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Since all of my family lived out of state, my kids grew up with our "extended family" or our "chosen family" instead. My kids are grown now and still refer to them as their aunts, uncles and cousins.

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    #30

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My brother. Married a lunatic and was an a*****e to my mom during her chemo. The b****s mom had the audacity to make a comment about how much my mom attended church at her memorial service and asked the preacher to reconsider doing the ceremony. Hopefully their god forgives them, because I never will.

    ShapeAppropriate6170 , RDNE Stock project Report

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    Nikole
    Nikole
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That person would be clipped off in my family, and with good cause.

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    #31

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me! Because I escaped to the opposite coast 50 years ago, and the *one* that isn’t dead is on my permanent no-talk sh**list.

    I am so happy to have left this family behind. The only one I cared about was my mom, and I know she envied (not in a bad way) the fact that I chose freedom over conformity.

    I wish she had, too. But she was trapped.

    If this resonates with anyone, remember that *you don’t have to love emotional abusers.* **Run away!**.

    seaboardist , Jill Wellington Report

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    Stygtand
    Stygtand
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Family are the people who loves you for who you are. Not the ones you are related to.

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    #32

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My Aunt. When one of my uncles passed away my other aunts and uncles (besides this one aunt) decided to give their piece of the inheritance to the one uncle who basically sacrificed his whole life to take care of the uncle that passed. The uncle that passed got into a horrible motorcycle accident at the age of 20. He was paralyzed from the neck down and could not eat on his own, nor go to the bathroom and he could barely speak. And on top of this he would wake up every day not remembering anything past the day he got into the accident. My other uncle had to explain to him and comfort him every day with the reality of what happened to him. From 20 until he passed in his late 40s my other uncle cared for him. This one Aunt did not want to give her part of the inheritance and took legal action and was horrible to the whole family because she wanted what she wanted. It is a shame.

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    #33

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me. My mother is perpetually miserable, has narcissistic tendencies and is an emotional vampire.

    Me putting up healthy boundaries amounted to betrayal in her eyes. As a result, she told me not to come to her funeral when she dies.


    Say less. Have a nice life. POS.

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    #34

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My uncle. He stole tens of thousands of dollars from my grandmother while she was dying of cancer, defaulted on business agreements with my father, and then disappeared.

    There’s a lot more to this, but for the sake of brevity and not being *too* specific, we’ll leave it at that.

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    Pyla
    Pyla
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whilst working as a banker, we had a customer add her son to her several bank accounts. He bought cars, planes, etc., and was super hostile to staff when we voiced concern. Well I didn’t, he was scary, to be frank.

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    #35

    That‘s me. Because I was abused from age 11 to 17 by my sisters husband (18 years older than me) and after 40 years of playing it down to myself and keeping silent (and becoming an alcoholic, and several years of therapy) I finally broke my silence. Shame of the family, where everything that‘s not perfect has to be swept under the rug.

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    #36

    Sadly, it's rapidly becoming the Trump supporting BIL and his family. We don't really care about their politics, but they insist on pushing them on everyone, inserting them into conversations etc.
    They've ruined family holidays over it bc they explode if anyone ever tries to point out that facts don't align with their opinions, and that words like "socialist" don't mean what they keep insisting they mean.

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    Dragon mama
    Dragon mama
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Frighteningly common experience here now. It's like a disease the way it spreads. Only choice is to cut off the limb to save the (family) tree.

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    #37

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me. I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness and most of my family are witnesses so when I decided I no longer wanted anything to do with the cult I was basically cut off. Mother does small talk even though I’d prefer complete silence from her, brother is an a**hat/POS so I don’t bother with him. Dad is the only one I have no problem with/he has no problem with talking to.

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    Brenda
    Brenda
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have 2 younger half sisters who were raised Jehovah Witnesses. Neither one has anything to do with it now and were shunned by the congregation.

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    #38

    Me. Not cool with pretending I wasn't beat pretty bad.

    "We didn't know better," just is too hard to accept.

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    Brenda
    Brenda
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Didn't know better" is bull$hit! I'm glad you are away from it!

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    #39

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me. I transitioned and haven't seen my grandparents, cousins, or other family in years. They're all conservative christians and want nothing to do with me.

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    #40

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My aunt Pam. At some point she started hearing voices telling her to hurt family members. I don't have a ton of details, but I know she lives in an apartment on a property managed by some kind of mental health facility.

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    #41

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me. I’m city. They’re country. I’d say, “That’s cool!” They’d say, “That’s weird.” I’m queer. They don’t like that. So we don’t talk!

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    #42

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My uncle.

    He has since passed, but he was a severe alcoholic and would come to family gatherings pissed out of his mind (yes, he drove to!).

    Died in a chair alone in his apartment. Bled to death internally from alcohol, the EMS only got called due to the smell.

    I do miss him at times, he was a great uncle when I was young.

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    Skogsrået
    Skogsrået
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Addiction kills people and destroy families, it's really a horrible disease.

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    #43

    An aunt who mismanaged grandma's estate & refused to return the money she stole until one of her sisters sued her for it. Aunt maintains her sisters were "just being mean" but now none of her 4 sisters speak to her.

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    #44

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My older sister. She’s a compulsive liar who has spent many years in and out of prison. She lies about being pregnant and having children to try to guilt trip people into giving her money. She’s been pretty much exiled from the family. Her latest scam was that she had a baby but it took me no time to find the actual child on one of her friends facebooks that she was stealing the photos from.

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    #45

    Me.

    When my grandfather passed, he split his belongings up between 12 kids. None of the grandkids got anything, and his wife, my grandmother, only got one thing. A cabin he'd built for her in the rocky mountains back in the 40s. "Where I'll go to die someday," as she used to call it. It was everything in the world to her.

    Until the eldest son challenged the will because he believed he was entitled to more than was left. I spent 4 years and dozens of thousands of dollars fighting in court to make sure she kept what was rightfully hers. Of the 512 acres that the cabin sat on, I managed to get 11.5. The rest was sold off, and the money split between a few of the other kids. They went to war over 500 acres when the will was parceling out over 62k acres between mountain and farm lands.

    When my grandmother started to go after the first heart attack, it was the first time that I'd heard from my uncle(her eldest son) since we finished in court. I told him it was it, and he needed to get down soon to say his goodbyes. He brushed me off and told me he'd put together 100k to "put the cabin back where it belongs." I needed to be restrained by hospital personnel, and he threatened to press charges if I didn't sell him the property.

    I outlived him, and the property is mine now. I'm slowly buying back the land we lost from a couple of different parties. None of it belongs to any of my uncles or aunts who fought for it in the first place, and I told all of them that if they ever darkened my doorstep, I'd kill em. Their kids have held the grudge and view me the bad guy for "stealing their heritage/inheritance.".

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    #46

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family Me. I am dealing with depression, and I struggle to believe I belong anywhere. Feel like a burden to everyone, so I don't want to bring them down. Also have never lived up to what everyone thought I should be. I am also a lot younger than my siblings, and they hated my dad. We had different fathers. So lots of trauma and probably me since I am so risk averse.

    supernaut2015 , Keenan Constance Report

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    beth38 avatar
    Beth Wheeler
    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You do belong. If you aren't being treated for your depression please talk to your Dr about it and see what meds work for you. You are not a burden to the people that love you. Try to figure out what you want to do/makes you happy and do it.

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    #47

    My dad is that sibling now for his brothers. Oddly enough, my dad is the one who graduated high school, graduated college, worked hard his whole life, saved money, and now lives a comfortable life. His 3 brothers, have 2 high school diplomas between the 3 of them, and 1 has been to rehab for d**g addiction a few times, 1 is an alcoholic, and 1 has never had to pay for anything on his own. When my grandfather died, my dad had to help the 1 who never paid for anything set up the bills for his house that my grandfather gave him in his name. The other 2 live off government disability. They call my dad, but only to ask for money. He and my mom no longer take their calls.

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    #48

    Me. My drunk BIL threw a drink in my face at wedding after starting an argument and won't apologize. I am the youngest in the family so I was told "Life is short. Get over it.". Really, I stopped talking to them. But the niece whose wedding it was, hates said BIL and she and I still get alone great.

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    Mike F
    Mike F
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Be the bigger person" is a phrase that should get the speaker banned from civilized company.

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    #49

    Right now my dad sadly. Was a good guy until he lost his job and fell to alcohol and d***s, became verbally/emotionally abusive, and would constantly lie so he could get some money for booze and blow. Treated everyone like they were the dirt beneath him until he lost everything. Now he begs everyone for money and to give him a chance, just to go drink and yell at people again.

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    #50

    My mum. She’s toxic, manipulative, narcissistic and verbally abusive. We’re rarely invited to family events. We didn’t have any kind of relationship with any cousins or aunts/uncles when we were younger. Everybody is really close, going on family holidays, meeting for meals etc, but we’re not, or we’re invited only as an afterthought, like the day before when it’s far too late to arrange to attend. Nobody likes her and she brings it on herself entirely.

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    #51

    My father. He is a narcissistic AH with main character syndrome. I am full NC with him as he would yell at me for not living my life just as he says. He is now married to wife #4, and constantly posts things on FB about how horrible my mom is, and they were divorced over 40 years ago. Wife#4 does not see this as she is not allowed on FB. Nor is she allowed to have her own email and must use their shared email account.

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    Orysha
    Orysha
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He is not only narcissistic, he is a control freak and likely an abuser. I hoep Wife n°4 could escape.

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    #52

    No one is really talking to me. I recently was diagnosed with autism. I guess I’m weird. I reached out a lot after I left my abusive ex but it’s like everyone didn’t care about me after I did.

    It’s not necessarily me though because I have community around me I’m involved in.

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    adelaidehoare avatar
    Adelaide Hoare
    Adelaide Hoare
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're not weird. I'm autistic as well and I've learnt that if people call you weird (or say that you 'misbehave' in my case, I'm still in school) because of your disability, they aren't worth being around.

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    #53

    Uncle Joe, the master of unsolicited advice. He’s like a walking, talking “life hack” video, but all his hacks somehow involve using duct tape or conspiracy theories. Family gatherings aren’t complete without him cornering someone to explain why we should all wear tin foil hats to avoid government mind-reading.

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    Brenda
    Brenda
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like there might be some mental health issues involved.

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    #54

    My grandparents. After my dad died they offered to pay for the cremation, well they hijacked the ashes and dumped them without any of his children. I'm still thinking about showing up at their wakes and boxing them in their dead a*s faces.

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    #55

    50 Times Relatives Messed Up So Badly, They Got Ostracized By The Rest Of The Family My Uncle. He moved to Australia in the 1970s. He may or may not be alive. He may or may not be aware it's just him and my 96 year old aunt left out of the original seven siblings. No one has details for him. No big falling out, just everyone seemed to vastly prefer him being in Australia. His only crimes I've managed to pin down are a) not letting my Dad touch his Superman comics in 1960-whenever and b) being a bit of an ars**ole.

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    poppycorn avatar
    Nikole
    Nikole
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one is interesting and not horribly sad. Dude just wanted to live his own life.

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    #56

    My uncle, Terry (name change).

    He is in his 60s, outwardly sexist, and always talks about HIS glory days - when he was in high school - all the d***s he did, the women he scored with, the cars and motorcycles he drove (and how he drove them), how great he was, etc. But hasn't done anything with his life in the last 40+ years. He's not a drunk or anything, just doesn't have a redeeming likable quality and is just typically miserable.

    He hits on any woman he sees at family functions if given the opportunity to be alone with them for more than 5 minutes. When I was younger, I warned any of my girlfriends to steer clear of him, and specifically pointed him out. I make sure to never leave my wife while at family functions if he's around.

    Decades ago, when my sister was a minor, he had the opportunity to corner her and make a pass and occasionally would make some risqué comments. To this day, my sister refuses to be in the same room as he. He's never inappropriately touched someone or physically sexually assaulted anyone (that I know of). He's just an overall sleazeball. He's ultimately "harmless" but just makes everyone uncomfortable.

    He complains about everything and everyone. Nothing is ever good enough. I genuinely have never seen him happy - or smile for that matter. He and his wife, Sarah (name change), have been married for what seems like forever. At least once (or twice) they almost got divorced (separated for awhile) and the running joke in the family was that if they got divorced, Sarah would stay in the family and Terry would go away.

    Grandma always tried to keep the peace and get the family together, but after she passed, we don't do many family gatherings together - if we do, he rarely shows (thankfully). I've probably seen him twice in the last 15 years. I have young kids (boys and girls) and hope they never meet him.

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    #57

    My Father in Law. Boy where do I start....?

    ETA: Sorry, I obviously had to vent, this got way longer than I intended....

    TLDR: My Abusive, Drunk, Multi-Time Scammed, but won't believe it for a second, narcissistic, holiday ruining Father in Law.

    He has been a narcissist his entire life, he was abusive and hard on my MIL and the 3 girls (I am married to the youngest of the 3) They divorced back when my wife was 6 (1987) and my MIL said it was the best thing she ever did even though she didn't have a penny to her name and had to take care of 3 kids. He left and went to Montana and was a truck driver and never sent any money home.

    After many years, all 3 of the girls have somewhat repaired the relationship with him but let me tell you, the work has ALL been by the 3 of them, and none by him. He is now just a drunk idiot who acts like a 15 year old kid with no sense of responsibility

    He has been scammed MULTIPLE times, has lost over $400,000, does not believe ANY of us when we tell him he is being scammed. Keeps claiming he is just "trying to get his stock out of the market, and once the Bitcoin comes through, he'll be set"

    My wife, has bailed him out (Not financially) from losing his house by going to court with him and getting the judge to extend the foreclosure twice now. While also working with Rocket Mortgage to set up auto pay from a new account (where his pension goes) so at least the mortgage is being paid automatically now.

    This man makes $6,000+ a month from Pension and military disability, and only has a mortgage to pay, yet is CONSTANTLY out of money. AND he wants us to believe he isn't being scammed anymore, except he "Sold a Motorcycle" on FB Marketplace to a fake check scammer and actually let "The local friend of the buyer" come and pick up the bike with a trailer because "the Check cleared his bank and the money was his now" but sure enough, it bounced and that $5,000 was taken back out of his account, and the freakin bike is GONE!

    And on top of all that, he has promised SO many things for his grand kids (Our two and 5 more from my 2 sisters in law) and has just not delivered on anything.

    This last Christmas, we hosted everyone at our house, and after last year, we didn't want to invite him, because he didn't bring any gifts for the kids yet threw a damn FIT that no one got him anything, including us, (We don't exchange gifts between the adults) but especially the grand kids. He acted like a baby and left before dinner. So, fast forward to this Christmas he is all "Ohhh don't you worry I'll bring gifts for the kids, yadda, yadda, yadda." So, all 3 families reluctantly each got a gift for him. All 3 of them marked as like they came from the kids of each family. (Disclosure, on purpose, we scheduled it so we already had the kids open their gifts and did that part without him before him arriving) He gets here, has absolutely nothing with him at all, and immediately asks where the beer is, grabs one, and after two big swigs asks where his presents are....

    The last straw was him calling my wife again this last month asking for her help in getting some BitCoin transferred from a "guy he knows" and my wife finding out in the call that he also is being taken to court AGAIN by Rocket Mortgage and he also wants her to attend again... Nope, she shut him down and said once you figure out your s**t and get out of all this mess we can talk, but until then we are no contact and hung up. He had the audacity to text her and ask if she would still go to the court hearing with him, and she unloaded on him in her response, reminding him about something he also promised my son that he hasn't accomplished in over a year, telling him that my MIL stepped in and took care of it for our son. His response was all about why she did that and trying to make him look bad, nothing about my son and how he broke his promise.

    We are done.

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    Mike F
    Mike F
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, I just happen to have a bridge I'll sell him...cheap!

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    #58

    Me. I moved 1000 miles away and don't bother to stay in touch. On the rare occasion someone calls and asks to meet up if they're traveling through, I tell them I'll be out of town.

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    Tempest
    Tempest
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sounds great! Should save this excuse for my future!

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    #59

    It's funny reading all the, "It's me, I'm the black sheep." Replies because I know that would be my brother's response to this. But he wasn't the black sheep, he just claims to be because we all cut him out of our lives for being extremely abusive and toxic.

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    #60

    My dad he goes through stages of randomly being sober for a couple months then disappears for a couple years, most of the time no one know where he is.

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    Bewitched One
    Bewitched One
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    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like he’s going to jail for skipping out on court mandated treatment. I assure you those aren’t “random” bouts of sobriety though. He’s either been told to get clean or go to jail, can’t get his DOC or can’t afford it, or they really are trying to do better but keep relapsing. But usually addicts don’t just “randomly” get sober.

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    #61

    Me, cause my aunt's and uncles and cousins were all upper middle to wealthy, and my parents dealt d***s and were poor. Nobody wanted the d**g dealers or their kid around their family while leaving me to rot in that situation alone.

    0/10 family is overrated.

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    Chelsea McKee
    Chelsea McKee
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yikes, I'm sorry you were alone during this. It should not have affected their relationship with you.

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    #62

    My sister. She stole from our parents and begged for money from relatives at different points in our lives all because she was selfish and would overspend, but would lie about the reasons she needed money.

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    #63

    Kind of backwards of what you’re expecting, but one of my cousins just like, disappeared one day. She was in her late twenties, moved out of state, and stopped answering the phone for anyone. So, nobody talks to her anymore, just not by choice.

    Oh, and I’ve got another cousin who seems to have misplaced a teenager. He and his wife had adopted her from China. One day he had 12 kids, the next day he had 11, and who the hell knows where that one went. 🤷‍♂️.

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    libstak avatar
    Libstak
    Libstak
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    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Has anyone confirmed she is okay? This bothers me, she could be dead for all you know?

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    #64

    Nephew/sister. whats worse than stealing from family? Calling the cops on your family because they b**ched you out for your kid robbing them.

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    #65

    One of my cousins distanced himself from the family.

    I support his decision & trust his reasoning. Hope he's okay, but I think his dad & my grandpa just didn't treat well.

    My grandma is very upset, but I'm going to add this in my motivation to NEVER marry a controlling man.
    She is paying for it so much in her late life & she honestly doesn't deserve it. She was alienated from multiple family members because of him.

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    #66

    Distant cousin. I heard many stories about what a troublemaker he was growing up skipping school, joining gangs, being arrested/detained several times, having a "wedding" and the wife leaving almost immediately and dumping their baby on him (I feel really bad for the child), having a very questionable high paying job, and being an overall jerk. I saw him a few times when visiting family and at weddings and he always looked like he was hiding something and had no manners whatsoever. I asked my direct cousins about him and they would just shake their heads and not want to say much.

    The whole family seemed really messed up. The father is a twin and the other brother's family who lives close by has a much more stable and well mannered family. But this distant cousin family was a mess. I often hear the mother is really dumb and does a lot of questionable things too and is always lying about how great everything else and is in denial constantly when talking to my parents. Then my parents talks to other relatives and they get a completely different story. I feel like the mother plays a huge part in such an unstable family. This cousin also has a younger sister who almost never speaks and looks away from everyone like she's got some social/mental disorder that was neglected/ignored. I heard when she became an adult she just left and cut off contact. Honestly I'm not surprised.

    And time to time I hear the mother saying positive lies about her family and other relatives denouncing all her BS. It sickens me that I'm somehow related to that cousin and his idiot mother.

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    #67

    Uncle Randy. IIRC I met him once when I was too young to remember.

    From what I know, he's bipolar and schizophrenic, and thinks the family is out to get him. I don't think anyone in the family has contact with him, but not sure since I also don't have much contact with any of my extended family.

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    #68

    Me, because I was an a*****e for a long time and my family finally got sick of my s**t.

    When I finally got my s**t together, I figured I'd done without them this long, no reason to bother with re-complicating my personal entanglements.

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    glennschroeder avatar
    Papa
    Papa
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe it's just me, but I get the feeling OP is still a bit of an a*****e.

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    #69

    My uncle. he is controlled by her wife so they went faraway and no one can reach him, tho we communicate through his wife.

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