30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned

We all dream of finding our true love and building a future together with someone special. But relationships aren’t always smooth sailing, and it can take a lot of trial and error to figure out if we’re truly compatible with the person we choose.

To help others avoid the same mistakes, these Redditors have shared the most valuable lessons they’ve learned from their experiences. From hard-to-swallow truths to eye-opening realizations, read their advice below and upvote the posts you find most helpful!

This post may include affiliate links.

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned Once someone feels comfortable being abusive towards you, that will never change no matter how much you try.

Bizzlebanger , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

56points

POST

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned An apology is not words but a change in behavior.

croud_control , Photo Source: Kaboompics.com Report

Final score:

54points

POST

View more comments

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned My wife died after only 10 years of marriage, so my lesson is that a long life together isn’t promised. Don’t take anything for granted. Cherish the moments you’ve got.

12345_PIZZA , Drew Rae Report

Final score:

44points

POST

View more comments

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned People can say the sweetest things to you, and absolutely mean them, *in the moment.* But moments are fleeting.

throwaway_202010 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

41points

POST

View more comments

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned You can do everything right and still lose.

jerome_the_wise , Yassir Abbas Report

Final score:

41points

POST

View more comments

If you tell your partner they've hurt you, and they respond by arguing rather than apologizing and changing their behavior, get out.

bellow_whale Report

Final score:

39points

POST

View more comments

Don’t go back. You broke up for a reason.

schpreck Report

Final score:

38points

POST

View more comments

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned You shouldn’t always have to beg for someone to give you attention.

jennazed , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

36points

POST

View more comments

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned People tell you who they are, you just gotta be listening.

hellno_ahole , Pixabay Report

Final score:

33points

POST

View more comments

#10

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned Sometimes it just doesn't work, and that's fine. You don't have to hate each other, talk s**t, or blow things out of proportion just because it's easier that way.
Things don't work and that's ok.

Odd-Soup-7165 , Pixabay Report

Final score:

30points

POST

View more comments

#11

There’s worse things than being alone.

Ashitaka1013 Report

Final score:

28points

POST

View more comments

#12

If the relationship is hurting you, you can leave at any time you’re safely able to do so.

Those last five words are the most important.

TonyTornado Report

Final score:

27points

POST

View more comments

#13

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned Don't be or stay in the relationship for potential. Be there and realize the reality that exists.
I just got out of one that I stayed in WAY too long because I kept betting on potential, even though the person kept showing me who they were.

I learned to do boundaries and how to actually put them up in an honest way. Granted, she kept trying to bulldoze them but I stayed pretty well strong but she didn't much like that. Shrug. I learned quite a bit and grew quite a bit, i got to go on fun adventures and became a better person.... she wasted her time and the opportunities, and she was where she was at the beginning, no real growth. I don't know what is going on with her life but I would guess it has gone downhill based on some of the people in her life that I have talked to a while ago.

not my monkeys, not my circus.

thenewtbaron , Git Stephen Gitau Report

Final score:

25points

POST

View more comments

#14

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned Writing this comment feel therapeutic and I’m only just starting. For me it is basically sunken cost fallacy in a relationship. Don’t be afraid to leave a relationship that isn’t working just because you have spent time in it. If it isn’t working, it isn’t working and you will only waste more time. If you’re not happy, give yourself the opportunity to find a situation where you can be happy. It is okay to give up on an unhealthy relationship.

SeparateMixture2206 , Andrew Neel Report

Final score:

25points

POST

View more comments

#15

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned Never get complacent. Show em how much you care every chance you get.

Positivevibesorbust , Ivan Samkov Report

Final score:

24points

POST

#16

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned If there is a red flag, be cautiously optimistic. If there are 34709 red flags, get the f**k out. I was in love with the thought of being in my first real relationship and ignored everything that I should have paid attention to.

azhockeyfan , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

23points

POST

View more comments

See Also on Bored Panda

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#17

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned It's like a plant: if you tend to it, water it, feed it, and give it sunlight, it will thrive. If you leave it in the corner, neglect it, and don't give it any of your time and effort, it will wither and die.

techpower888 , Akil Mazumder Report

Final score:

21points

POST

#18

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned Oh gosh so many of them. May cry just thinking about some haha.

You cannot change someone. You cannot cure someone of their addiction and you cannot “love it out of them”. They must choose the help and do the work.

If you do not have clear boundaries with your in laws as a unified front, you will forever be a lost cause relationship. You both have to step up and support the relationships for both of you with both your parents and the in-laws as well.

Love languages are great to know but if you can’t love someone in the way they need to feel loved, then what are you doing? If all the ways I want to love you aren’t the way you receive it, what am I doing? Learn how they *want* to be loved, not how you think they should be loved. Meet them there.

Everyone comes with baggage. It’s ok (and not a failure) to say I can and will no longer tolerate your actions that are related to your baggage out of an abundance of protection for yourself and your mental health.

Bring a complete self to the relationship. Have your own hobbies and life. Make sure they do too. Don’t stop doing those hobbies because of them.

There’s more I’m sure… I might be back lol.

thatshotshot , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

21points

POST

View more comments

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#19

No answer is also an answer. If you want an answer from your partner and they cannot give that to you, it is often your cue to decide how to proceed.

theorangeblonde Report

Final score:

18points

POST

#20

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned Whoever loves the least controls the relationship.

lonster1961 , Marcelo Chagas Report

Final score:

17points

POST

View more comments

#21

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned If you live together, that person is not just your lover, but your roommate. If your partner is doing most of the cooking, cleaning, and childcare, expect a lot of tension, unhappiness, and regret.

MoonieNine , Mizuno K Report

Final score:

16points

POST

#22

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned You cannot change a person.

Vivienne1973 , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:

16points

POST

#23

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned Don’t stick around with someone who doesn’t Make you happy, satisfy you or meet your needs. It’s better to be alone than with someone who makes you feel alone

After my last relationship ended, I decided to stop looking for happiness in other people. I was single for 6 years and quit having casual sex. I worked on myself, and learned to be happy on my own. Then, suddenly and unexpectedly I met my current partner, and we recently got engaged. I wasn’t seeking her out, she just happened to come at the right time and the 6 years I spent being single and finding my own happiness, allowed me to become more desirable and a healthier partner. You won’t find it if you’re looking for it. Just worry about yourself and be open to spending some time alone and find peace in that.

Slut4H20 , Serkan Göktay Report

Final score:

16points

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#24

Learn when to cut your losses. Relationships should be a rewarding two-way street. Anything less is not a relationship. There's only so much "work" you can put into something before you have to let go.

itsadropbear Report

Final score:

16points

POST

#25

That I never want to be in another one.

I prefer to have my own space. I don’t want to be answerable to anyone in my personal life. I don’t want to share anything or consider anyone’s desires and needs other than my own.

Selfish? Yes, but only because I’m so selfless that when I am in a relationship I devote myself to that man and I eventually begin to resent him for allowing me to run myself ragged trying to ensure everything is as he likes it and anticipate his needs and desires.

I’ve finally realized that I’m mentally and emotionally happier and more satisfied when I’m single.

MonitorOfChaos Report

Final score:

16points

POST

View more comments

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#26

Love alone is not enough. Not only do relationships need a commitment to each other in order to succeed, but a commitment to bettering yourselves as individuals and as a unit.

Still_Lion_9903 Report

Final score:

16points

POST

View more comments

#27

It’s never you vs her. It’s you both vs the problem. If you can walk away with that, most of your fights will be fast.

415malaysian Report

Final score:

16points

POST

#28

Chemistry doesn't equal compatibility, wit/intelligence don't equal maturity, if similar values/beliefs aren't aligned it’s doomed, a pretty face doesn't trump red flags, bad communication will bite you, don't date potential/people shouldn't be projects, if someone sleeps around while having few to no relationships, they're likely emotionally unavailable/have a hard time getting close/will sabotage, men might move fast just to sleep with you or to test your restraint/loyalty/if you're relationship material, bad relations with family will show you the sort of partner they'll be. Took me a long time to learn all this the hard way but better late than never.

MostHonest966 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#29

Never let'em control you.

Verum_Sensum Report

Final score:

14points

POST

#30

I can’t beg someone to love me.

Yummy2Taps Report

Final score:

13points

POST

View more comments

Note: this post originally had 57 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

What do you think ?

Happenstance 3 weeks ago (edited)

It’s really cool being sexually compatible. If I could do it again I’m not sure I’d choose to have a sexless marriage. But I love my wife so it is what it is.

3points

Monica G 3 weeks ago

Be good, just not stupidly good.

1point

Rider 3 weeks ago

Love is unconditional, my presence isn't. Treat each other well especially in the moments when you may not want to.

0points

Victoria 3 weeks ago

You're either growing together or growing apart.

Liz The Biz 3 weeks ago

Never ever let anyone pressure you into doing something that you don't feel comfortable about.

Cutting toxic people out of your life is the best thing you can do.

AKA AKA 3 weeks ago

to sum up: people dont change, run at the first red flag, know when to run and contribute to our relatioship. do not let abuse become normal . water the grass but first make sure its not dead to begin with.

Tempest 3 weeks ago

When all your friends (with whom you’ve shared at least some details about the relationship) tell you to get out, get out! And when they (the person you’re in a relationship with) no longer care if you stay or go, leave! No point holding onto someone who no longer hears you, sees you, or respects you. No point staying in such a situation in fear of what ending the relationship will cause. Yes, ending will cause pain, loneliness, and a loss of familiarity and direction for a while but that will be for just some months at most. Whereas, if you hang around in a broken relationship, you’ll only be prolonging the suffering. And, no matter how much you love them, you can’t change them if they’re not willing to change.

30 Important Relationship Lessons People Have Learned

Games

Oleksandra Kyryliuk

Oleksandra Kyryliuk

Shelly Fourer

Shelly Fourer