You should want to be together 24/7/365.

There is a belief that states if two people genuinely love one another, they should be inseparable. However, spending time alone or apart may be very rewarding and enjoyable. And true to what is said, love does really grow fonder with absence. You and your S/O do not have to be joined at the hip just because you are in a relationship. You'll have much more to offer your partnership if you maintain your individuality and independence.

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Your partner can fulfill all your needs.

We might believe that finding the ideal partner would solve all of our issues. However, no single solution exists for all of our problems. It isn't shedding pounds, finding the perfect job, getting married, or any other things we believe would instantly improve our lives. A partner is not there to satisfy all of our wants and fulfill all of our desires.

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You should never feel attracted to anyone but your partner.

Just because you're married or in a committed relationship does not indicate that you will stop being attracted to other people. You could still occasionally feel drawn to someone else. What you do with that emotion or lust is what matters. While you may experience feelings of attraction, the mature move that keeps your relationship at the forefront is not acting on those feelings, i.e., not cheating or flirting mercilessly.

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Love should be a fairy tale.

Although relationships should be a wellspring of beauty and growth, they are often messy and complicated. Very few aspects of life are like a fairy tale, so letting go of the notion that our romantic relationships should be perfect in every way is essential. It may sometimes feel like it, but love is not a fairy tale, even though imagining it that way is super romantic. The most beautiful aspects of a love tale are the real elements.

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If you have a partner, you don’t need anyone else.

Although partners are unquestionably important in each other's life, many people also have "significant others" who are just as (if not more) significant in their lives. In a relationship, "us time" and "me time" are both essential for many of us. For many people, a third factor, such as a friend, pet, or personal interest, often strengthens the relationship rather than harms it.

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Birth control is just the woman’s responsibility.

Since it takes two to create a child, so should it take two to avoid getting pregnant. Physical, mental, and even financial hardship is associated with acquiring and taking birth control. You should discuss with your partner how you may split that responsibility.

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A good relationship is supposed to make you feel better.

We assume that being with our partner would instantly improve things and lift our spirits whether we are having a terrible day or are in a foul mood. Even if you're in a beautiful relationship, you must realize it's OK to feel depressed about other parts of your life. Also, some single individuals may believe that having a love companion at their side will make them feel better overall. There is life beyond love, a lesson many of us need to understand.

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Love is enough.

The simplest explanation is that since love is conditional, it is insufficient. It is conditional, like everything else in life. Change itself is the one thing that never changes. Falling in love might set you on the path to a happy marriage. And it may keep you in the marriage game and moving toward genuine matrimonial bliss. Yet, love by itself does not guarantee a happy wedlock. More than just a heart-stopping high is required to have a healthy relationship with someone.

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If you have to work on communication, it’s a sign that you’re not compatible.

The relationship will degrade over time if you don't work on communication, much like a car that isn't maintained will break apart sooner or later. Every relationship needs effort, and communication is just one of the things that you and your partner might have to work with if it's not so great from the get-go. Listening to your partner and taking down your defensive walls when you need to takes effort.

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If you have a strong relationship, you should always feel happy.

No matter how little you quarrel or how much you love each other’s presence, this is unrealistic. Finding lasting happiness requires finding a balance in all facets of your life, which goes beyond just having a good relationship. A healthy relationship helps with contentment, but it’s just one piece of the jigsaw.

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There’s one special someone for everyone.

The idea that there is just one person out there for everyone is arguably the most far-fetched romantic fib that exists. One individual? Among billions? It doesn't make any sense. There are plenty of people with whom you could get along; your paths just never crossed (yet). Imagine having to wait around for the right single to come along in today's climate when dating is already difficult enough. It would be quite a daunting prospect.

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Your feelings won't ever change in the right relationship.

By their very nature, feelings are fleeting and subject to change. Does this imply that you'll one day stop loving your partner? It's possible, though highly unlikely. But what it does suggest is that you could go through times when you don't feel in love or as much in love as you did in the early stages of your relationship. Your feelings for your partner may be dwindling. And you could experience an emotional jolt at other times. These ups and downs are typical in a long-term relationship. Hence, don't be alarmed when your partnership undergoes different stages and changes.

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A relationship with the right person should be easy.

As stated earlier, the relationship's honeymoon phase may make it seem like a fairy tale. Nonetheless, a healthy relationship requires work and upkeep from both parties. We all have flaws and emotional baggage. It's not meant to be simple or effortless to maintain a relationship despite all of these difficulties, let alone the occasional curve balls life may toss your way. If you're both willing to put in the effort, the fruits of your labor will be very much worth it.

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There’s no love like your first love.

As with many "firsts" in life, the "first love" is often very special, yet it's typically over-romanticized. Realize that your first love usually happens while you're young and, let's face it, immature. Hence, even while the novelty of your first relationship may provide some fireworks and excitement, comparing all subsequent relationships to it is not a good idea. Don't exalt your first love. You will better understand yourself and what it means to love and commit to another person as you mature as an individual and a partner.

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If a relationship needs therapy, it’s already too late.

There were 689,308 divorces overall in the 45 U.S. states that reported this data in 2021. Probably most of the couples didn't even consider therapy as a way to mend their relationship. However, how many could have been saved? According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, 97.1% of polled clients stated couples counseling gave them the support they needed, and more than 80% of respondents reported good results from relationship therapy. Even if it won't save the relationship, it's very much worth giving a try.

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Fighting is a sign of an ill-fated relationship.

Today, the majority of people are aware that occasional conflict and disagreement are not only natural but actually beneficial for a relationship. It's all about striking the right balance and making sure that your disagreements are constructive and respectful. Don't avoid disagreements; instead, use them as a tool to improve and fix the loopholes in your relationship.

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Having a baby will fix your relationship.

Many couples experiencing difficulties in their marriage believe that having a child would resolve their problems. Sadly, this approach is poorly thought out. A baby won't improve communication, so be completely honest with yourself and each other about what's happening before you decide to have a child as a last-ditch attempt to fix your marriage. Don't put pressure on someone who hasn't even come into this world.

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There should be no secrets in a relationship.

Relationship advice along the lines of "tell your partner everything, keep no secrets" is something we hear constantly. While lying and cheating have no place in a healthy relationship, you don't have to disclose every little detail of your thoughts and feelings. For instance, you don't have to describe to your partner in great detail an episode when someone was hitting on you. Or they don't need to know that you actually don't like their favorite pair of jeans. It's OK to keep to yourself a few innocent secrets, which are essentially not secrets at all, just some trivial stuff that isn't worth starting the conversation about.

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Your partner should complete you.

The collective heart of the late 1990s was melted by one of the most romantic movie statements ever, "You complete me." However, that was only a movie. Do we really need someone else to complete us? Because we are already whole, partners are not intended to complete us. Recognize and celebrate your inherent completeness. That does not imply that a worthy partner won't contribute to filling in the cracks and holes in your spirit and heart. A caring, loving relationship may undoubtedly have a therapeutic effect, but that healing only goes so far since you still need to work on yourself individually.

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You should never go to bed angry.

We often say things we don't always mean when things become heated. It's actually recommended to take some time to unwind before talking about something that made you upset. If you allow it some time to cool off as you sleep on it, whatever it is will probably not look like as big of a deal in the morning. However, try to gather the words and let your partner know that you'd rather continue the conversation in the morning, especially if your partner is prone to overthinking.

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Marriage should always be 50/50 or 100/100.

In a partnership of two, both parties must contribute to the relationship's success; hence a 50/50 (or 100/100) ratio makes perfect sense. However, sh*t happens. People face challenges, receive bad news, and undergo difficult times. You will sometimes put much more work into your relationship than your partner. For example, if your partner is depressed, ill, or laid off from a job, which happened to many couples during the Covid-19 outbreak. In a fulfilling relationship, you don't mind helping your partner out when needed since you know they'd do the same for you if the roles were reversed.

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Your partner should be your best friend.

Your partner should ideally be considered your friend, but your best buddy? You might be asking too much of one person. These are two very different relationships. And usually, best friends don’t engage in steamy lovemaking. Naturally, what works for you may not work for others. Some couples have more similar interests, outlooks on life and morals. Others may share a few key characteristics, but still, each partner can have their own interests.

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Playing hard to get is the best tactic.

Playing hard to get with a person you are interested in will likely result in you staying single as a Pringle! Very few people have the time and "drive" to persistently pursue someone who doesn't return the effort. At least not today, with the abundance of options on dating apps. Whilst there may be some psychological truth to the statement, "we want what we can't have," being honest and direct is always the best course of action.

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Love is shown through big gestures and expensive gifts.

It seems so romantic to see men serenade women in a packed building, toss rocks outside their windows to profess their everlasting love, and put their lives in danger to be with them. And because most women crave romance, they have romantic love fantasies similar to what they read in books. These elaborate, movie-style gestures don't convey romance. It's not in a guy jumping through flames to give a woman one last kiss or receiving mountains of gifts. Love is often silent. It may be seen in how someone treats us and prioritizes our needs over their own. It's in the small, subtle gestures that are easy for us to overlook.

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Monogamy is crucial for a relationship.

Being monogamous (committed to just one person) is a crucial component of relationships for many people. However, research by Jessica Fern, an author of "Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy," indicated that around 16 million Americans, or 4% of the population, are "practicing a non-monogamous style of relationship" In fact, according to another study, individuals who are monogamous and those who are ethically non-monogamous reported equal levels of relationship satisfaction. Hence, monogamy may not be the answer for all successful relationships.

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No one will love you just as you are.

Feelings of worthlessness, which frequently result from unresolved past experiences, might make you think that changing is the only way to build a connection. On the other hand, openness and honesty result in the strongest, most genuine friendships. You will feel the most at ease when you are sure the other person acknowledges and embraces who you truly are.

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You need to always feel the "spark.”

Although relationships often start with intensely fluttering hearts and frenzied eagerness, gradually, those heartbeats settle down. The love becomes stronger but doesn't subside. Many individuals worry about no longer feeling the "spark," failing to see that it has been replaced with a deeper and longer-lasting form of attachment. You can keep rekindling that flame, but love evolves and matures throughout the relationship.

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The proposal must come as a surprise and must be big.

In today's "promposal" culture, even receiving a prom invitation needs a special event. As a result, we've come to the conclusion that an engagement proposal needs to be, well, out of this world. This puts a lot of unnecessary strain on all parties involved. Yes, make it unique and romantic, but don't spend all your money or drive yourself crazy trying to make something that will go viral. Having said that, proposals don't always have to be a surprise. We're confident that most actual engagements were, at the very least, partially discussed and planned before the proposal. This makes sense in a time when it's usual for couples to share a bed before becoming engaged or married and when it's becoming more typical for both partners to play an equal, active part in planning their shared future.

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Opposites attract.

A recipe for disaster is looking for someone completely different from you in any meaningful way. You must have some shared goals and principles. If not, there won't be any glue holding the partnership together. We are attracted to our romantic partners not because they are "opposites" but because of specific personality features, interests, and even biological cues.

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If your partner is jealous, it means they love you.

A little envy now and again is OK. Still, if your partner frequently gets bitten by the green-eyed monster, it can indicate a dysfunctional relationship. Imagine someone who refuses to let you see their family and friends out of jealousy or becomes envious if you go out for coffee with a coworker. These behaviors can go too far and result in abusive conditions.

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Happy relationships are rare.

Regardless of the type of relationship we are in, most of us are happy with our lot. According to the 2019 nationwide survey by eharmony, 83 percent of Americans said they were "happy" in romantic relationships with their partner or spouse. Just one in nine couples reported being extremely or relatively unhappy.

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All relationship conflicts can be resolved.

Quite the opposite, actually. According to Gottmans' research, 69% of relationship issues are perpetual (or reoccurring). This indicates that most relationship problems are not actually resolvable, suggesting that accepting one another's character differences is key to making the relationship work. To prevent stagnation and resentment, talk about these ongoing difficulties. In this case, the aim is to manage conflict rather than solve it.

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Stress will inevitably affect intimacy.

It’s okay if you don’t feel in the mood for a tender caress after a stressful day. Nevertheless, intimacy in your relationship doesn’t have to be permanently harmed by a demanding job or another burden life may throw your way. Try to control your stress for the sake of your partner and your general health. With effort, you may learn to lessen what feels like endless suspense and appreciate more vulnerable times with the one you love.

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Couples in a great relationship can read each other’s minds.

As thrilling as that would be, most of us aren't psychics. It is unfair and naive to assume that your partner will know exactly what you need or feel like at any given time. Yeah, you've been together for quite a while and could be familiar with one another's preferences. Still, you cannot always assume you will understand the other person's feelings or the reasons behind their emotions.

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Talking about past emotional wounds will only make them worse.

You can't change the past, but you can heal the past in the present by doing the work on yourself. Therapy, self-help books, meditation—there are plenty of tools available at your disposal to stop past wounds from impeding your current relationships. In a new relationship, it's important to stop dwelling on the past. However, certain matters, even (and especially) unpleasant ones, are still important to discuss. You should talk about your health, problems that could hinder having kids, and disabling conditions that would make engaging in particular activities challenging. Also, your partner has a right to know whether past financial issues might imperil your relationship.

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Honesty is the best policy.

How often have we heard "I'm just being honest" in response to a particularly offensive or deceitful statement? Sometimes telling the truth is the kindest and most courteous thing to do. Sometimes it's the harshest response, a way to cut off communication. If you don't want to be with someone, you can be honest in a way that won't echo in their minds for a long time. That's respect and maturity.

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Romance should always come naturally.

The excitement of being in love might wear off after some time, and romantic gestures may appear to be few and far between. But comfort shouldn’t be misinterpreted as a lack of chemistry. While it might require some work to rekindle the romance that first flowed easily, a little forethought can get things moving once again. The flame might have lit itself first, but now it’s your job to fire things up.

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"Your relationship will mirror your parents."

While you may resemble your parents in many ways, how you act in close relationships might differ considerably. Several elements affect how you interact in your relationship, and while experiences in your life may impact how you behave, they do not entirely define you. Know that if your parents’ relationship could really use some work, you are not doomed to undergo the same destiny as them.

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Constructive criticism helps the relationship grow.

Nagging, defined as continuously reminding your partner to do (or not to do) something, is a toxic silent relationship killer. Honesty is essential, but repeated criticism can cause a wall to form between you. The target of the criticism may begin to feel unworthy and withdraw. Even though your intentions are good, a compulsive desire to point out “a better way” might hinder your ability to grow as a relationship.

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If you feel doubt, get out!

While it's necessary and reasonable to follow your gut, it's also possible that there are other variables at play. You must discern between normal concerns and actual red flags. Red flags typically relate to abuse, addiction, and other non-negotiables or deal-breakers in the relationship. But other concerns are often only bothersome thoughts that originate from deeper anxiety. The conventional relationship myth would suggest, if facing any doubt, to leave the ship altogether, when in reality, it's perfectly keeping afloat. Delve deeper and determine the actual source of your concern. Could it be an avoidant attachment style? You not being ready to settle down yet? Your anxieties might have nothing to do with the other person.

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You must be “100% sure” when you get married.

None of us can ever be 100% sure about anything. There's a misconception that having second thoughts implies you shouldn't get married, but in most cases, these fears and anxieties are very normal. It takes a lot of commitment to become married. Why wouldn't that worry you a little bit? And if you feel, let's say, 80% ready before you go down the aisle, you should know you're in the majority.

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You need to have lots of s*x to have a happy relationship.

Is it important in a relationship? Absolutely. Can a relationship last without engaging in it on a regular basis, though? Without a doubt. Different people will have different physical needs. It's important to keep in mind that there is no universal prescription that works for everyone. Instead, communicate with your partner to identify each other's specific wants and preferences. No other factors but your mutual enjoyment should matter.

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We all love/feel loved in the same way.

Lack of understanding of how the other person expresses and receives love is one of the primary relationship problems. According to the best-selling book by Gary Chapman, "The 5 Love Languages" (definitely recommend giving it a read), there are five different love languages: words of affirmation (compliments), quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Things make so, SO much more sense once you know which one(s) your partner speaks.

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The ring needs to cost approximately 3-4 months’ salary.

An old wives' tale states that the man (or the one making the proposal) should spend three to four months' worth of wages on the engagement ring. Why this exact amount? How come it shows your devotion to your partner or your readiness to get hitched? Reduce that amount by one-fourth and use the remaining money to pay for your next big outlay, the wedding, as a favor to both you and your future partner. Or put money down for the future.

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Marriage is just a piece of paper.

We are aware that marriage isn't for everyone. Perhaps you tried, and it was different from what you had hoped it would be. Or maybe you and your partner believe it won't make a difference in your relationship. Yet, for many, it's more than just a paper. The vows—the "I will," "I do," and "till death do us part"—they all count. A public statement of love and commitment is only one aspect of marriage. It goes beyond a ritual, a symbol, or a tradition. That piece of paper is an affirmation. A promise. It's not a guarantee for a happy marriage. Yet that paper carries a heavy load of devotion, love, and sacrifice.

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What couples fight about most is s*x, money, and children.

Although the top three "favorite" topics for couples to fight about are s*x, money, and children, various other issues also come up. Those often include division of labor, in-laws, the timing of life events, spending quality time together, pet peeves, jealousy, friends, communication, job, control, and politics. These arguments are often the outcome of attempts to emotionally connect that failed. In these few times, turning toward rather than turning away is crucial. If the disagreement is left unsolved, it will very likely come up again and again in the future until you two reach a mutual understanding.

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There’s a set timeline for when milestones should occur in a relationship.

It's 2023; there is no fixed schedule that couples must adhere to. The expectation that everyone should be engaged, married, have children, and own a home by a certain age is unwarranted and only adds to the existential dread that so many of us already experience. Each of us has our own timeline that is ideal and works for us. Moreover, not all of the "checkpoints" will be on every timeline. Not everyone wants to start a family or even get married. And that's perfectly fine.

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People in happy relationships don't flirt. If they do, they are unhappy and looking for someone else.

Flirting has little to do with your dissatisfaction with a relationship; it is a construct. Yet, as is frequently the case, context is essential. A single instance of flirting is not a warning indication that something is amiss. Still, if your partner flirts in front of you frequently and ignores you, it is more indicative of disrespect. In the bar, casual conversation with another person is usually not a reason for alarm. Still, everything we do can be harmful depending on how we go about it. That might be a simple blunder or a sign of something more serious.

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"Once a cheater, always a cheater."

No person should ever have to deal with betrayal, yet it happens way too often. Yet, as preachers of positivity, we do believe that people can change and that a relationship can be saved if a person is genuinely sorry and wants to fix it. Many individuals heed the advice of friends and family to break things off immediately and never look back, but other people live to regret it. Get therapy and identify what wasn't working and why before leaving and abandoning all you had together.

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