This should be higher

But just remember how important your call is to them.

You mean "How many times today?"

I feel seen.

ACK! I wasn't expecting this! TOO funny!

I'd subscribe for this! Most of the time I play History's The Universe, on endless repeat. It's interesting, but easy to tune in or out, depending on how Stardew Valley is faring, and how many cute cat pics there are on BP that day.

Just like how she can find the thing you've been looking for for the past 20 mins, and YET can't find her glasses or keys that's in her hands. Mom magic

It’ll be a dog, That’s ok, right?

Proof that babies know more about the universe than us (jk idk its 3 am)

I wished I was an adult as a kid. I was right to wish and am living much better now than I did then. Childhood trauma, people!! :)

Always when your sneaking around at 2 in the morning.

LOVE this one!

This made me giggle.

You got me in the first part

Why do our brains betray us like this?

What do Audi and Bouche think of this blasphemy?

It do be like that much of the time. My excuse - "I want other people to be able to hear the movie."

Good to keep up with currant affairs as well.

Mwahahahaha, no I can't help you with your homework, I have to do my own homework, mwahahahahahaaaaaa

And no one's ever like, hey, colleges don't have bell schedules, that must be the fire alarm....

I wish my phone has a drunk detector and just verify my messages.

the pain

Me this week: so the book says you do this and this. Kiddo: I don't get it. Me: umm so how about like this? Kiddo: no- me: nah me neither. We'll skip this. Ask your teacher tomorrow!

Group chats are annoying unless being used to plan a group vacation

Good news! You can actually buy vitamin D supplements

And the afternoon tornado-flood was LATE.

I need the money, and I have very low standards.

Hope that you find some, sending hug x

This what Gandalf will look like when angry birds makes a version that uses lord of the rings characters, like they did with transformers or star wars

Overthink overthinking until you don’t want to overthink overthinking anymore.

That's so us ladies can have "just one" from our significant other's order of fries.

Isn't that why they're there?

Honestly, putting time locks on my most-used apps has revitalised me beyond my wildest dreams. I sleep better, I'm more present for my kids, I have more time for my hobbies. It's amazing the difference it makes.

It's not the aggressive "don't care" but the passive one

*except

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, STOP IMAGINING THAT EVERYONE HATES YOU, no, yes, maybe?

Call me weak until you're blue in the face, if it makes you happy. It won't bother me a bit, as I'll be taking a nap

Difference between a group of drunk and (mostly) sober people

spacebarm, like using m instead of a periodm

No,no one loves *you *

olives are gross :x

Antidisestablishmentarianism

I wish my tears were shy

I sometimes get angry at my mom. Then ifeal guilty for being angry at her. Then i go hug her. Im 44.

Cats do not like lemonade. We do like lemon cake with that white drizzly icing and a saucer of coffee, though. No, our soft can-opener won't give us coffee. We have to sneak from her cup when she's not looking. A proper soft can-opener wouldn't make us steal it.

Touching my glasses is an absolute no-go. Taking them away, well, you made an enemy for life. Your life specifically.

I don't keep it a secret - I tell everyone in case I ever meet someone who can make it happen

there is in fact a movie about just this. It's called As Good as it Gets starting Jack Nicholson.

and the 5th best school 50 km from city limits in the upper tristate area for contemporary digital arts

*their - c'mon people...