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That's just golden 😎🥳

Wait you mean I'm actually supposed to hear voices?

2020 me be like 💀

Have you a moment to talk about our lord and savior Odin?

Life will never be complete without Lowly Worm.

I respect this man.

*squinting* why is the weighted blanket falling onto the floor already it's 3 AM

I felt this deep down

It's alright, he's with the NYCD.

If anybody deserves a drink is teachers and nurses. Flourishing the minds of soon to be adults and saving lives for c**p pay, long hours and all the c**p they have to put up with.

lol slick

Nuhuh... Even more fun, it's discontinued.

Holding one red rose.

Me too, but just to make it more fun, I do it by simply slowing down, not hitting the break. Less aggressive but just as irritating, and in today's America, no need to p**s someone off, they may have a gun.

Your wife is amazing….lol

Why isn’t this higher

Never thought of this

Dogs sigh when they're content and relaxed.

And 92 tiny odd socks because tiny human socks just disappear into the void.

I mean - that joke edit is *supposed* to turn names vulgar, that's the whole *point*, but... good grief, this is a vulgarity jackpot, it's like that name was *made* to have this joke applied to it...

You got me!

I just up voted a brilliant comment on BP then discovered it was mine

I only consider my dog naked when he doesn't have his collar on. I chase him around with the collar demanding he put his clothes back on.

Ennui? That is literally ennui you are describing.

n o

Jogging with someone who is visually impaired maybe?

You are a Bad Girl -- but I'm still laughing!

God Pete Davidson is an a**hole, but at least he targets the right people.

My toddler, everywhere

You can ride him to the groomer for his pedicure!

if you're cold, sit in the corner, it's 90 degrees :)

I'm 40 and I smoke a little bowl and I'm good to go.

I've lived my whole life that way. It's called moderation.

Ha ha ha! Brilliant!

Not a Gremlin, just a cheese lover :)

Say it louder for HR in the back

A bold strategy

I hear you.... but 5 per week, by your math, would equal over $12,500. Yeah... once per week is better :D

lmaooo

'Oh, I don't know... It IS a rotisserie!'

Cancer did definitely not made me stronger and I'm pretty sure I'm still alive.

Yes

Nothing to see here…

Me on Saturday afternoon, Sunday afternoon comes, I’ll do it next weekend-repeat last weekend

I would pick margarita gal over protein shake guy any day

That's hysterical.

To be fair, it's really only kitchen designers that need to be afraid of short women who climb in countertops.

Not where I live:(

Try to do this: type "florida man 'your birth date' (day and month)" in google. Mine is "Florida man arrested after police say he assaulted girlfriend after she tried to throw away his pizza"